Best Fictional Schools

School may be out for the summer, but comic book always have havens for the strange and nerdy to find refuge in. On this week's episode we step into the hallowed halls of The Umbrella Academy, Kamar Taj, Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, and Starfleet Academy to conclude which Universe offers the best education to a young superhero type. Did we miss your fave?


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Jason, to your memory, what was the most magical thing
about school?

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh? Well, okay, I don't know if I should really
be telling this on Mike, but so I used to
live under a staircase and.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Not the opening volley I would have been back then.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Oh okay, you've heard that before. Okay, so all right,
I probably shouldn't be talking out of school, but all right.
I used to work at this bar with my uncle,
and no matter how many times I asked him to
go to school, he really didn't want me to go
to school. And so eventually he took me to school
and I was so excited to go. But unfortunately, when

(00:51):
he took me to school, we time traveled back to
nineteen forty seven Roswell, New Mexico, and we actually became
the Roswell Alien. So that was one of my favorite
school memory.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Wow, thank you so much for being so brave and
sharing that with us. And I think I'm going to
take this moment to say hello and welcome to a
kissed try Lesson. I'm Asha, Victoria Robinson and Jason Inman.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Still not one of the Roswell Gray Aliens, but we
are here to talk about schools because this is the
podcast that we also like to call Your My University,
where a Canadian comic book writer and a TV writer
from Kansas to tell you everything you need to know
about one little subject or school. And I'm sorry it
was not serious with your answers, but I did give

(01:33):
two school related references.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, I did not understand the second one.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Oh you know, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Future Ron?

Speaker 2 (01:40):
I will tell you after Mike. But it is a
TV episode, sci fi TV episode where an uncle takes
his nephew to a very famous school that I'm pretty
certain you're going to talk about.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Sure, we'll see. So, yes, we're going to debate and
compare and kind of drill down on what makes the
best fiction schools in pop culture. So I want to
start this off by saying, we're not talking about Hogwarts.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
End of story, okay, And if you want to know
not why, you know why?

Speaker 1 (02:11):
You know why? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:13):
At this point she's not keeping it quite no, no, no.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Also, because we want things that are well written in interesting,
so Hogwarts is automatically out. So what makes a fictional
school great? These are the four fictional schools that I
have chosen to highlight in this episode.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah, because they'll just be helpful. I'm not saying that
they're the best.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
No, no, no, but there are four schools that kind of
do different things in a similar way. So I did
want a magic school, Okay, of course I thought that
was a smart idea. I thought about doing break Bill's
University from the Magicians, but the Magicians, if you read
the books, is horribly sexist, and so I did not
want to highlight that either very misogynistic and a streaming
of female characters. So instead I said, you know, you know,

(02:55):
what's a pretty interesting magical school.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
I'm curious. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Comartage strange? Yeah, yeah, okay, so we're gonna do comartage.
We're going to do Starfleet Academy, a classic have. Of course,
we're gonna do Exavier School for Gifted Youngster.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
That's where I was going when my uncle got lost,
Starfleet Academy. I don't understand. I'm trying to give people
clue of the references in the opening. I'm sorry, well,
I apologize. What was the third one?

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Xavier School for Gifted classic school? Yes, and then the
Umbrella Academy terrible?

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Okay, oh boy.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
There are also many fictional characters who go on learning
journeys as either children or adults. One of the reasons
I actually chose Comartage was because it was kind of
the closest thing I can come up with to a university. Sure,
because it is for adult students.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
It's interesting because well, like Carmitage is not really in
the comics, so it's going to be like just from
two movies.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah. Yeah, it has since been integrated as a school
as opposed to just a low categy I assume, so, yes,
But so I do want to just nod to stories
that do the same thing, but they do it as
more of like a journeyman apprenticeship. So I think something
like Avatar, The Last Airbender. Yeah, Filled Temples absolutely, The
Chronicles of Narnia I also think, does the same thing.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Where's the school aspect in that one? Or you talk
about it just the characters grow up?

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Yeah, well they they learn what they need to become
the kings and queens of Narnia through a journey experience
as opposed to like going and sitting down and.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Taking out it's not really a school. It's more like, well,
you're all these experiences you have are gonna make you better.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, it's still an education. It's just not a formal
education the way all of these are. So here is
just a basic breakdown in case you're not familiar.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Without a school, what a school is with with.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
These particular locales in terms of like what kind of
goes on there? Cool So Camartage has intense training and
mystical arts, teaching students to be to belate energy, time
and space. A mentorship under the Ancient One or other
skilled sorcerers, study of ancient knowledge and the preservation of
mystic wisdom, and internal discipline and self discovery through meditation
and spiritual growth.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
And it's in Nepal.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yes, yeah, fictional Marvel comics.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
And fictional comics from Nepal.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Starfleet Academy is training for science, exploration and leadership, science diplomacy,
and meeting alien species. And they have stylish uniforms with
potential to save the universe.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
And it's in San Francisco. And we should also mention
that you can go to Starfleet Academy. This is a
thing that d Space and I introduce. You can go
to Starfleet Academy and if you go through the academy
for four years, you become an officer. But there is
also a four year enlisted program, and that's what Chief
O'Brien dick, which I think is very there's two levels

(05:37):
starting to go tracks. I guess if you like.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Exavier School for Gifted Youngsters is a place for mutants
to train powers and find acceptance. There's mentorship under Professor
x Storm, Wolverine others, and they have a danger Room
for intense training and high stakes environments.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
I still think wolver and that's in Westchestern, New York. Yes,
I think I still think Wolverine would be like the
worst teacher of all time unless like tough call cars
automobile cars just just called cars. Come over here, cars,
I'm gonna I'm gonna ans you a I'm gonna hand
you a copy of Auto Trader Weekly and you're just
gonna look at it.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yes, enjoy bub UH. The Umbrella Academy features trading and
unique abilities under Sir Reginald Hargreaves, who is the father
I guess of the family. UH inventors as a team
to combat threats both personal, global, personal and global. They
test their unity and resolve and they also have teaching

(06:36):
in strategy, history and cosmic events by Pogo, who is
the hyper intelligent chimpanzee that you know from the series
that's somewhere in Manhattan. Yes, it's vaguely New York. There's
definitely a direct line between Xavier.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
School and Umbrella the same place.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
A lot of these places share DNA in common. I'm
in fact, there was even a Marvel Comics Starfleet the
Cow to Me Mai series series that went on for
a while.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
There was, and it started the character that got taken
to school by his uncle.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Woms does that Nog?

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Oh? Okay, Oh, I've been referencing the episode Little Green Max. Yeah, okay,
Ork takes Nog to Starfy.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yes, I just literally could not get past the roswell
that ends. Well. I was like, yes, yes it is,
but my brain made that association and then it's just
simply refused to make any other past.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
No. Yes, there is a Starfleet Academy series that stars
Nog that Marvel Comics published, and I believe like his
classmate is Decker, like who is supposed to be like
the great grandson of the guy that's from Star Trek
the Motion. Sure, yeah, it's not a bad book. I've
read it a couple of times.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
It's not bad. I believe it's not collected, so if
you are interested in you either have to find it
online or get I think you got all the single issues.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
I found it at like a pawn shop or something
like that.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yeah, okay, so let's start with the easy one. Let's
talk about the best teachers. So I'm going to read
the list of who the teachers are, and then we
can debate their relative merits for all schools, Yes, for
all those, unless you'd like to go school by school,
but I think that might take too much time.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
All right, what have you? You're the teacher, let's go. So.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
At Comartage we have the ancient one, Wong, Baron Morto
and doctor Strange.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
At Starflee you have Spock o'hura and an occasional Picard.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
And Barkley and Chief O'Brien.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
There we go. At Xavier School we have Professor x
Storm Wolverine, basically all your og x Men and many
of your the.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
New X Men Cyclops Emma Frost keep right.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
At the Umbrella Academy, we have Sir Reginald Hargreaves, known
as the Monocle Pogo and the mom Robot. So Jason,
who's got the best teachers.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
I mean, I'm just gonna fall on right now, show
my biases. It's gonna be hard not for Starfleet Academy
to be the top in all of these things, because
it's meant to be the best of the best.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
It's also the one of the two of these are
definitely structured in a traditional Western school for or Matt.
The other two are more of a suggestion because in
my opinion, it's between Starfleet and Xaviers. I think I
would give it to Xavier's school.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
I think I would give it to Starfleet. Tell you why, Well,
because Xavier is not really a traditional school. It's sort
of just the x.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
ME training account will, yes, exactly, But how is Starfleet
any different than that?

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Well? But the thing about Starfleet Academy that they that
they have shown across multiple Star Trek series is that
I think about the character of Chacota.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
So Chacota is a person from Star Trek Voyager who
went through the academy, right, and he was supposed to
like on a basic track become a captain, but he
left Starfleet and then he joined the MAKEI, which is
supposed to be this terrorist organization. But all of his
Starfleet training helped him run the Maqui. It's not specifically

(09:52):
just for Starfleet, whereas.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, but only because he went and joined the Machi.
If he went and became a mechanic, it wouldn't have
helped him well whatsoever.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
I mean, but I actually think that Starfley Academy is
pretty well round because here's the other thing about Starfleet
that Starfleet is not just about go to a starship, right,
there are people that work on Earth, that work on Earth.
There are people that just build starships. There are It
is literally like the US Army, where it's like any
job that you can think of that exists in the world,

(10:18):
the Army, you can do in any kind of most
military organization. You can learn how to do it, you
can be paid to do it, because that's essential for
that to function. I think Starfleet the same way, whereas
I don't know Exavier too, Like it's one of those
things where like the schools always being attacked.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah, I mean you can make that argument for any
of the school you can.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
You can Academy's Limit attack once as an attack though
it's olymit Tech once, but you know, and it survived.
It's never been like completely rebuilt you.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Tell it to the set designers, Yeah, and that location scouts.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
But I don't know, like Exavier, it's it's it's like
these people that are your teachers aren't really even traditional teachers.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
And in the world of star there's very much a
thing where it becomes the career goal for people to
want to retire at as a teacher at the academy,
like that is like the cushy job, whereas I don't
know if I don't know if Xavier gets many people
that are wont to be the teacher there.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
According to a brief Google search, depending on the canon
that you follow, Startrek Academy has been attacked twice and
up to five times because some of it is book
in comic cannon.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Oh, I don't count any of the books or the comics.
That's not that's not the canon. The only one I
know of is during the Dominion War, the Breen bomber.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Yeah, the Breen Bomber. There's also the bombing of the
Calvin Memorial Archive from the Kelvin timeline.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Oh, that's a different timeline. But yeah, I I but
that's not Starfleet Academy. That that's that's a different place
in London.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Well, according to the Internet, that is Starfleet Academy. That
is the Calvin Archive at Starfleet Academy, and then in
the book The Assassination Game, the Starfleet Academy experience is
a series of terrorist attacks. It was apparently also impacted
by the attack on Mars in twenty three eighty five,
which led to its closure for a period.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
You there, you go, why do you think Xavier is
the better school?

Speaker 1 (12:09):
I think we're not talking about better school, were talking
about best teachers.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Oh, why do you think Xavier has Why do you
think the x Men are better teachers than like the best,
the best of Starfleet.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
I actually think that the x Men probably give you
a well rounded education. I think you leave Xavier School
for gifted youngsters knowing about the classics and knowing about
geometry and knowing about HISS. I think you get like
a real proper education that you can then take to

(12:39):
any other institute. Now, the difference between also Starfleet Academy
and Xaviers. Exaviers is basically elementary through high school. Starfield
Academy is university.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
It's college.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah, yeah, So that's the difference where it's.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
A traditional military Academy, yes, and University Academy. It's it's
like the University of the Army or the Navy or
the Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yeah, but I just I don't know. I think you
would get a better I think the X Men, I
think those characters are better teachers, and I think they
have more empathy for you as an individual, just as
a result of the whole mutant narrative in Marvel comics.
But honestly, all these people accept the people in charge
of the Umbrella Academy are gonna learn you pretty good.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah, I'm yeah, the Umbrella Academy is the one where
you're not probably gonna get that much. I mean you're
gonna learn probably a lot from the ancient one. Yeah,
and even doctor Strange and Wong, Yeah, you're gonna learn
a lot. Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of magic,
but you're gonna learn a lot. You are, And we
do know that Carmitage has Wi Fi. It does still
one of them. Beyonce still one of the best trailer

(13:37):
jokes of any movie I've ever seen, where he hands
in the placer and is like, Shambala, what is this
and he's like, it's our Wi Fi pass where we're
not savages.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Look, we've We've said this multiple times hashtag justice for Wong. Yeah,
and that character is only good because Benedict Wong is
a fantastic actor and a GD genius, because he is
doing a lot with not a lot.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Who plays Baron Mordo? Should we tell a G four
damn shame that he wasn't the villain of Doctor Strange too, Oh.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
A damn shame that he was a villain that they
shuffled off for one movie. But I mean, same thing
with mass Michelson, Like.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
Come on, Marvel anyways, come on. But yeah, Carmatize, I
think would be a fun place.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
That's a study I'm gonna I'm gonna side bars. Really recently,
I mean I really haven't already done in a million time. Yea. Recently,
I was googling. I was thinking about Thor to the
Dark world souse, I went to Grantwich, I went to
where that final battle happens, and so I was posting
about it on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Okay, were you like looking at pictures to see like
where they filmed? No?

Speaker 1 (14:37):
I literally had to google who was the villain of
Thor two because I could not remember Christopher. Yeah, and
then I was like, do you remember Christopher.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Buried under a Million and you know he's not speaking English.
He never speaks English. That entire movie. Yeah, one of
the worst movies of all time.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
All right, now we're gonna go on to Now that
we've decided who our opinion on the best teachers are,
we're going to break down the best homework assignments from
the school. So again, we have Homitage, Starfleet Academy, Exavier
School for Gifted Youngsters, and the Umbrella Academy. But I
think it's been a while since Jason and I have
been students. We've been teachers here at the Mind University
for so so long. So we're going to take a
little break, collect our thoughts and come back to talk

(15:12):
best homework assignments. We are back on JJL. School is
back in session here at I mean, honestly, the answer
to this is best functional school to Mind University this podcast.
We also, I'm going to say, offer a larger depth
of courses with more specialized professors than any other university.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
I thought about that we're you know, and I don't
fill those out to the listeners. I've always thought about
should we like come up with courses. I mean, we
have four years to treat the you know episodes like
so oh interesting?

Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, I don't know interesting interesting. I know. I know
we offer archery. I remember that one quite vividly.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
We do.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, so we're going to talk best homework assignments. Yea comartage.
We've got daily meditation, spell casting exercises, astro projection journaling,
ancient text analysis, elemental manipulation practice, and mystical artifact identification. Honestly,
it sounds like what I got up to on a weekend.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
Starfleet offers galaxy saving mission simulations exaviers.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
They also know there's zero ZG training because they say that.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
Oh, there is Starfleet Galaxy Saving missions. Sorry, that's starf exaviors,
danger room scenarios and mutant ethics, as well as a
classical education and the Umbrella Academy combat training, individual power development,
tactical mission planning, and historical and scientific research. So which
of these do you think you would most want to

(16:37):
engage in as a student.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
I'm going to give it a tie.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
Okay, go for it. I love a tie.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
I think it's a tie between the two Marvel Comics schools.
I think it's Carmitage, and I think it is the
Xavier Academy because I think carmuitage. I think part of
your homework is probably how to figure out how to
work one of those sling rings. Yeah, and I, while frustrating,
I think that would be cool.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Do you think it'd be cool?

Speaker 2 (16:59):
And then the X Men, you know, at some point
Wolverine hands you a knife and is like, what is broke?
What is the best way to impale a man? Yeah,
that's your homework assignment. It's something in the danger room.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Well, it's interesting because I think Exaviers and Starfleet and
we are going to talk coolest class. Maybe this is
going to come into this coolest class, the coolest specific class. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, oh, because we're.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Talking about homework assignments right now.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
Oh specific class. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
My head went to like class of eighty nine and
I was like, how are we going to know.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
That Umbrella Academy has one class? And I'm gonna say,
this is my whole chest kind of a failure.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
Well, and we don't know anybody outside of Carbonage outside
doctor exactly.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
It's interesting because the comartage stuff, and again possibly because
of the magic element, but a lot of it is
stuff that we've seen through the Doctor Stranger area that
you do have to take outside of a classroom and
work with on your own, Whereas I imagine a lot
of your quote unquote study time at Xaviers and at Starfleet,
even outside of class hour, is going to the holidack
because the what is the danger room but the holidack

(18:05):
with a different name, right, and just doing raps, like
the way you would go to a rehearsal or you
would go to a practice for something. Yeah, So for me,
like I think I already medicate, I already meditate, I
already journal, I already read ancient text who talked about
Gilgamesh in a previous episode. So I think, like Carmartage
already has kind of stuff I'm doing already. So that'd
be the one I would most want to do, and
you'd be in Nepal. So that's fun. All the rest

(18:28):
of these are just in America.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, but people start to still your watches there. I
don't have a watch, Okay.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
So good luck. Bro Okay, let's roll right into best
coolest class, best class, however you want to think about it.
So I've picked out what I think they are. Some
some I have one choice, and I have a couple
of choices. If you have any other specifics you want
to bring in, I will tell you definitely open to it.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
I do have this because it's a little point to
our Patreon extra episode, Oh what's that patreon dot com
slash job JW I I N. If you come over
of then not only do you support this podcast, but
we have a lot of hours and hours and hours
of bonus podcasts, including GHL extra this week. I have
a list of all of the classes that have been

(19:12):
mentioned m HM in Star Trek history that are happy
at Starfleet Academy, and some of them you can click into.
So we're gonna go into some of those. We're gonna
talk about that. And not only have you come over there,
you can listen to that, you can listen to Talking
Titans versus our podcast that reviews yeah, every episode of
Teen Titans animated series. Also our movie Club where we're
going through the Superman movies at Christopher Reed.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
It's so fun.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
Come join us. We just did Superman two. We talked
about share Sheriff JW. Peppa showing up if you know
that reference.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah, James Bond connection.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
You have a chains, bond connection s. Come on our
Patreon dot com slash John when this jwi n thank
you to everybody does that already and come join him.
They're a cool bunch.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
So classes coolest classes.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
Again not Class of eighty nine No, uh.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Was not alive. Could not speak to it again. If
there's anything you want to throw in, these are just
some choices that I made comartage. It's got to be
astral projection, I mean, especially the way it's depicted in
the first Doctor Strange movies.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Probably a class that's magical items because of the cloak
and the stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, yeah, that seems really fun. Starfleet, it's got to
be something in the holidack because otherwise you're just doing
astrophysics and diplomacy, which seems exhausting.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
There would be stuff like warp mechanics. There would be
stuff that would be strategy.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
There would also.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
Be military strategy in history.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, and then there would also be like I guarantee
you there's a phaser marksmanship class. You know, very it depends.
It kind of depends on whether are you going to go.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
And that's where section thirty one has like their teacher
and they're picking people.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Out are you are you going into command? Are you
going to engineering? You're going to medical? Yeah, you know.
But also Starfleet Academy again we said it's like a university,
surfy academy. I guarantee you has Shakespeare for sure. Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:53):
Sure, But you know what I would want to take
most of Starfleet? Yeah, Zeno linguistics. Yeah, star we have
a even though we all.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
Have please would also have cling on opera as a class.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
I am I'm anti opera in any language. Do you
think it would have They're they're not Starfleet though, But
I was like, would have been a class in Kardassian
literature would be great.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
Probably.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
You'd also have classes where you're studying alien species justice systems,
like under the diplomacy banner as well. But yeah, I
think Zeno linguistics would be the one that I would
be most interested in.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
I'm just chicking. That is a real class.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
No, I have no doubts. Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters
again would have the same thing. You're getting a lot
of your English lit. You're getting a lot of history,
and then mutant ethics and the danger room training scenarios
are the ones that are the most unique deal at exaviers.
I think it's gonna be hard to beat the Danger
Room in general, Like we often see a lot of

(21:49):
cool stories and moments take place there because they're always heightened.
And then at the Umbrella Academy, I guess it's lighting
your siblings on fire.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah, it's it's basically like classes in control and manipulation
with your dad up. Yeah, so I think make the
best umbrella.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, I think I'm going to give it to Comotage
for this one. Then Carmitage has the coolest classes.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
I'm going Starfleet.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Okay, here's the big one. I think, in my opinion,
the big one alumni success. Okay, I think there's one
of these that runs clear away from the other ones.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
And I think there is one that actually has the
highest number of students that have graduated from it. Comotage.
Arguably the only successful student that we know to come
out of it is doctor Stephen Strange.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
That's right. Well, we know Baron, Morto and Wong we
can assume, but do we know you'd have to assume.
I would assume that they were. You also have to
assume that the ancient one is also, because the ancient
one wouldn't have always been the sorcer of Supreme.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
M that's do you think that though? Or has the
ancient one? How close is the ancient one to God
is the real question?

Speaker 2 (22:59):
What does that mean?

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Well, the ancient one is this interesting character that particularly
if you go back and read some of the older
weirder Doctor Strange, there's versions where the ancient one is
basically God or Jesus or that analog, like the ancient
one is millennia old. So like, is the ancient one
called the ancient one? And are they the most ancient one?

(23:22):
Because are they the first magician? So they've built all
this up around them. And then there are more modern
interpretations where it's sort of an inherited title.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
I know this phrase a little bit of Doctor Strange.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Please.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
So there is a bit that the actual person that
founded whatever temple before it got it later named Carmitage
was Agamato.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Oh the aye?

Speaker 2 (23:43):
Uh what's the thing that doctor Strain has.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
That's interesting?

Speaker 2 (23:47):
And that the ancient one was the student of Agamato.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
That's cool. I can roll with that.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
So so to me again like so, like I think
if you're a sourcer at Carmitage, you're a student of Carmitage,
or if it wasn't Carmitage, it was whatever school was
before Carmartage.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah. Do you think there are multiple magic schools so
it's not just Carmutage.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
Well, because we know in that movie there's the London branch.
It's weird that it's weird that like, only Stephen Strange
lives in the New York branch.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
You would think long lives there.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
Yeah, but you would think they would all be little
branches where somebody showed up you could teach them there.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
Yes, but also at a modern age, it makes sense
that you would not just have to go to one
place like and I do appreciate resisting the urge to
make commtage too much like kuon Loan no too much
like basically U, I can't think of where rosso Gul lives.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Oh, Non Department, Nondaparbat.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
Yeah, because it kind of serves the same thing, and
it's pulling on the same cultural references of like Misticalesian
school that was brought over to American storytelling in the
nineteen seventy.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
Yeah. Yeah, anyway, that was a bad and begins thing. Technically,
Rosa Gould didn't really live at Non Deparbat it was
like just because they found him in the temple and
then they like sort of were like, oh, that's where
he lives.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
Right, Yeah, it's it's so backward engineer like comontage into
the into Batman's history that indie Batman under the Red
Hood animated movie adaptation. You actually it opens a non
to parbat uh So alumni success comenttage. Basically the whole
cast of Doctor Strange, Starfleet Academy, Kirkduck, Jane Waite, Cisco,

(25:20):
pretty much any Starfleet officer you can imagine.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
Every Starfleet officer you've ever seen on any show has
graduated from Starfleet Academy. That's not true, that's true most
of them.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
Kara didn't graduate.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
Kiara's not a Starfleet officer that she'd be coming home
she does actually spoilers, Yeah no, but basically most Starfleet
officers and almost every one of the.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Captain part I was like, there's a couple of Captain.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Pike, Cadain Janeway, you know, weirdly, Captain Archer did not
graduate from Starfleet Academy. Oh true, No, starf found it.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
No. In fact, nobody from Enterprise did. That. Whole crew.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
Xavier's longlist too. Yeah, almost any of the.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Jean gray Storm somebody naming No. Jason's made a funny
addition of Magneto to the that's a stay.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Though, Maggot our favorite X Men.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
Oh yeah, everyone's everyone and uh the Umbrella Academy, all them.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
Kids, did they actually graduate or did the dad just
kick him out?

Speaker 1 (26:27):
No? He disappears, remember, Okay, no they I don't think
they graduated. Whatso that's right. He disappears and they're like, uh, okay,
but yeah, they all kind of live there except five
who also disappeared. So arguably the Umbrella Academy has no
alumni success. I think Blow for Blow Exavier School for
Gifted Youngster has the most alumni success, just because X

(26:49):
Men has this problem that Batman also has. Superman is
getting too and Wonder Woman is getting to where there's
just too many characters. Yeah, there's so many X Men
and X Men teams, and there's too many mutants. There's
too many. They're absolutely do you know.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
What, remember when Jokosada was like no more mutants and
then right for a while there was only one hundred
and ninety eight of them. Yeah, even that I was like,
that's too many.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Yeah, I mean, I have to give it up to
the one thing Scarlett, which ever did.

Speaker 3 (27:17):
Right.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Yeah, it's kind of like when there was ninety nine
Pokemon until there was actually two secret Pokemon, and then
now there's just a billion Pokemon. It's like that, like
there used to be like fifty X Men, so you
could kind of keep track of them up until about
the eighties, and then now there's ninety seven thousand of them.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
It's because in the nineties there were like twelve X
Men titles, I know, and they all had a team
of like fifteen people, and you're just like, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
And I know not all of them came from Xavier School.
There there's not a pipeline, right.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
There's sort of multiple Xavier academies.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
Weirdly, well, there's also the Jean Gray School for Higher Learning. Yep, yeah,
there's multiple. There is whatever the Generation X School was called. Yes,
and then there was that wild with Grant Morrison where
they had the X Corpse and they sort of like
said that each of the S corps had a school
as well. There's also whatever school is on Krakoa.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yeah, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
There's one on the moon, you know what I mean.
But when we talk about Xaviers, we're trying to sort
of do the classic like Westchester Mansion. So I think
in terms of alumni success, I'm going to give it
to Starfleet. Not that there's been no bad murals to
ever come out of it or anything like that.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
It's been a lot of admirals, but just just simply
because of Captain Kirk, I think it's Starfleet Academy.

Speaker 3 (28:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Well, based on basically all of the captains that are
the stars of the shows, I think you have to
give it to We have seen proof that if you
go through the Starfleet track and nog As you brought
up earlier sort of the clearest indicator of that usual dog.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
It was me and my uncle, you and your uncle.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
You come out a better person and a more well
rounded and adaptable person.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
Part part of this is a universe is the fact
that like Star Trek just has a lot of characters,
it also has.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
A utopian point of view, whereas I would argue that
X Men has a dystopian point of view.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah, there's a future where the robots are counting and
killing them all.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
I don't even mean from that point, but I mean,
like Starfleet is a hopeful view of humanity. X Men
is a cautionary tale about humanity. Unfortunately, I'm not saying
there's no hope in it. It's not quite as dire
as the Umbrella, as we know, is always looking for hope.
It means hope. Well, on this planet.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
It's an X means hope.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
X means hope, X means so the three exes means
lots of hope.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
Huh. Did you hear, by the way that I'm coming
back to Avengers Doomsday? Patrick Stewart and you have your
head exploded?

Speaker 1 (29:40):
And that was an alternatutive? Remember when you dressed up
like a lobster and took a picture in a bathtub?

Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yes, I love the way.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
I love that about it. I do, Patrick Stewart. Yeah,
it's pretty.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Is it not bad?

Speaker 1 (29:56):
It's not bad, it's not it's not Patrick Stewart, but
it's Professor. It's Patrick Stewart playing Professor X. Will you
tell me some spoilers about your upcoming appearance in the MCU.

Speaker 3 (30:06):
Yes, I kiss Magneto.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
Wow, someone report that's a comic book. Doctrine confirmed confirmed
here with tongue with tongue. Yes, was it your first
time kissing him?

Speaker 3 (30:19):
No, you see back in the Royal Shakespeare days, it
happened all the time.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
I mean that just that's this theater baby, both on age.
You know I should introduce you at my friend Lord Carlton,
who I think I know him? Yeah, I bet you do.
I think you know his son. Think youre a universe
two universes.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
I was in a movie with him, Yes, you were,
it was.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
But you share both star Trek and.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
I'm in another movie with him.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yeah, it's called Avengers Doomsday. Yeah, but are you with him?
Or were you on a green screen and he was.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
On a green scit?

Speaker 3 (30:55):
I tell you that I was in Avengers. I'm in
Avengers dooms Day.

Speaker 1 (30:57):
Yes, who are you playing?

Speaker 3 (30:59):
I believe I'm playing Captain John Luke.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
I was going to guess Jubilee?

Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, who is that?

Speaker 1 (31:07):
It's problematic for so many reasons. Let's past.

Speaker 2 (31:11):
Can you look for me as Captain John?

Speaker 1 (31:14):
Oh no, wait wait wait, the PA says, I actually
have an entire minute left. I haven't gotten the wrap
up just yet, but can you leave us a commonbook
dot com with one last spoiler?

Speaker 2 (31:25):
Yes, I kill Captain America? Which one the.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Good that makes it not a hate crime?

Speaker 2 (31:36):
Can we can roll on that with my mind?

Speaker 1 (31:38):
With the power of mind? You did die, by the way?
Next one? Three?

Speaker 2 (31:42):
Did I?

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Yes? Oh, I'm pretty good you were killed by my family? Jensen?

Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yes, who wouldn't want to be killed by fam?

Speaker 1 (31:49):
And her thighs. That's another year that you were not in. Unfortunately, unfortunately,
maybe soon you know.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
I'm in American Dad?

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Are you the president?

Speaker 2 (32:00):
I'm the head of the CIA. I.

Speaker 3 (32:05):
By the way, have I mentioned that I'm an Avengers Doomsday?

Speaker 2 (32:08):
No?

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Please tell me more. I'm playing Captain Jean Luke ba fantastic?
Oh no, Patrick, I'm so sorry. Jonathan Fraakes is here
to take you back to the.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
Car number one?

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Yes? Can we? Hey, Jonathan? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (32:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Come over here? Yes, Hey, I knew you lived in
the valley, but I didn't know that you live so
close for practically neighbors? John just will have you really?
I can call you? John? Yeah? Oh? No, I guess
I got one quick question. Are you an Avengers that game? Oh?

Speaker 3 (32:44):
Unfortunately, they don't like TV actors.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
That's not true. Are any of your fellow uh TV actors,
Johnny Storm? Are any of your fellow Star Trek alumni?

Speaker 2 (32:54):
And yes, Michael Dole.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Who does he play?

Speaker 2 (32:58):
He plays a giant.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Rock that falls on Magneto. Oh I like that. That's hot.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
Magneto dies and that's.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Why you kiss, right, because he's with his dying breath.
You're professing your love for each other.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Oh, yes, we get married.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
Obo, who marries you? Johnson as Jean Grayer ask.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
As both plays double.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
Paid twice. Good for her. Yeah, Jonathan, you're probably gonna
have to, like, you know, we just wheel him out.
He's in an office, Charny, I'm sorry, got it? Goodbye?

Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yes, Hello, have I mentioned that I just want to
apologize to be a state of Patrick Stewart.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
And the estate of Jonathan Franks. Which one of these
is the phone call?

Speaker 2 (33:52):
He actually just wants to press buttons?

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Yeah, I was going to try to call text Limen.
Let's see if he picks up.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Sul So.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
What is Sunland something?

Speaker 2 (34:16):
Texas looking up? Drew Blas? Okay, Hello, text Willermerner.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
I text your own geek history last night. I legally
have to tell you you're on a podcast's account. Badcast.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
I don't know it is.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
We don't have laws here in Texas.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
That's also, Hey, I you know I.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
Don't know if you notice. I'm an oil magnate and
owner of eight Pigley Wigglies, and it is a goddamn
pleasure to be back on this podcast.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
Do you know who I am?

Speaker 2 (34:39):
I believe your name is Ashley.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
That's true. The briefest of Google searches would have solved to.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
That brief Google. Well, I got assistance for that.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
So, uh, we are sort of coming. Yeah, so we're
we're coming toward, you know, toward the the final most
important categories and debate on the best fictional schools. Can
I tell you something cool?

Speaker 2 (35:04):
I just heard. I heard.

Speaker 3 (35:07):
I don't think a lot of people know this. I
just heard.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
I was looking around dark Web. I love beyond dark Web.
I'm usually buying like water supplies and mrs you know,
for the end of the world.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
I don't think you need to go to the Dark
Web for that. I think you can go to like
ri I for that.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
O cool. That's gonna save me some time.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
All right, great?

Speaker 2 (35:24):
I heard Patrick Stewart.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
Have you heard this.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
I'm really excited about it.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
Do you think he's playing Professor Xavier Captain John Luth
piccard from Star Trek or the villain from a conspiracy
theory that oh male gives a movie.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
I think he's playing Gurnie Hollock. Maybe Gerne from Dune.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yeah, well I didn't see that coming.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Or maybe King Lear, you know from that RSC production
where he had no shirt on but he was wearing
a robe.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
He's playing Dune.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
He's playing Dune. He's playing He's playing.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
He's gonna play the Planet of a racketsractice desert planetsand
I don't know if you noticed someone from Texas. I
love dustin dirt, so I'm.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
In yeah, and no laws and maybe not school. So debatable.
Why I called you as an expert. Oh, I called
you as an expert for two reasons. So I want
you to weigh in before Jason and I go through
these Finnel categories because you pretty much annually take over
the Doctor Strange holiday special.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
I mean, my lawyer would say, I don't know what
you're talking about, but me not talking about lawyers.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Is yes, and uh, which means you know Doctor Strange.
You know I do not. I think you've talked to
each other before. I know that, correct, And uh, your
best friend whom sometimes romantic interest Uh, Kurt Vaulkner is
the kind of a night.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
Calla I think romantic. Pretty a strong there, but pretty
sure you've.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
Kissed on the mouth more than one them. I don't
think so. But so you know a lot about Kurt,
and Kurt went through Exaber School for Gifted young Right,
So I guess this means that you exist in the
Marvel University school exist Marvel? Can you provide you exist
to Marvel universe? I'm gonna say, yes, what university you existed?

Speaker 2 (37:16):
If you don't exist in the Marvel universe.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
I didn't even know these I I exist. Boy, I
sure can't remember the name of that comic right now.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
I have no idea what your river.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
That's fine, I'll figure it out later. It doesn't matter.
But no, it can't come up with it. It's fine.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
I was gonna fire my gun.

Speaker 1 (37:40):
None of that, Texas. I want to know if you
could give us any insight into what it might be
like to be a student at Carmuitage or Expert School
freeifty youngsters.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
As a person has gone either one of the you
know people who have that's true, Okay, I can tell
you this is Carmutage. The food is bad, straight up bad.

Speaker 1 (37:58):
You don't like Rice.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
Who likes Rice?

Speaker 2 (38:01):
Bro?

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Everyone likes Rice. It's like the mosties.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
Everywhere in the world is always looking for a giant
steak and a pile of mashed potators.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
I found the name of the comic universe that I
do exist in.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
Worry, move past that joke. Okay, what is this?

Speaker 1 (38:16):
What is this?

Speaker 2 (38:17):
What do you? What universe do you have to google?

Speaker 1 (38:20):
I am in as a comic con reporter. Okay, the
minor Threats universe. Oh, you're in a minor threats comicbook
I have. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
She explained more of this to the listeners. So you're
saying that if you read is it the comic book out?

Speaker 1 (38:35):
At this point, I think so, I don't know this. Yeah,
it doesn't matter, but you can definitely see me. Uh,
comic God.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
To explain to everybody. Just to make sense to people
who are listening to this, don't understand all the inside
reverences that we might only understand. You are saying that
Ashley Victoria Robinson as a pop verse reporter.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
Is in a minor threats common book.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
It's gonna be a lot of worth a lot of money.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Google them, buy.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
Them, buy them all and you can tell because there's
purple in it. That's how you know.

Speaker 2 (39:05):
Yeah, text will run not in to day I'm The
only common coment is an X Men comic book where
I tried to Queen's Kurt Wagner to come join my truth.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
That's true. That is a true in deal.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
So carmoutage is terrible food.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
You know what what food you gets?

Speaker 2 (39:20):
You know, it's pretty fancy like Ulster thermidor.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
Yeah, basically Samonomandan.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
It's a bunch of stuff I can't pronounce like you're saying. Yeah,
a lot of stuff I can't pronounce. Yeah, you know,
I mean old Chuck, Professor Chuck. He don't wanna you don't.
He don't lack the peasant food. You know what I'm saying.
He goes straight out, he's not cooking the food. Yeah,

(39:47):
I know. He's hiring like a staff of eighteen people.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what he's doing.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
You think any of those X Men cook, You're crazy.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
I think they can.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
I think that. I think a lot of people can.
But I don't think richie rich boys just Xavier cooking
that food.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
You're a richly rich boy.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Well, I earned my through dirt, grit and gumsh Okay,
I'm rich now I weren't.

Speaker 3 (40:08):
I weren't born rich.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
Where were you?

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Where were you born?

Speaker 2 (40:12):
I was born in Bartlesville, Oklahoma.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
Wow, in the USA.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
I was born in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. And then and you
sound like this, Yeah, I know lots of people sound
like this for Oklahoma. I moved Oklahoma when I was
like three.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
You moved to Oklahoma when you were three?

Speaker 2 (40:29):
Excuse me? I was by myself. Yeah, three years old.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
I sid walked to text of stuff on a horse
and down.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
You know, I just thoughted this thought that if anybody
came to this episode just for your schooling, they have
completely left at this point solely. You know what? This
is what happens when you try to record eight episodes
in a row. Everybody, it was I'm a podcaster now too.
Did I tell you this?

Speaker 1 (40:54):
It's nine text men? Yeah, you heard about it.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
I gotta tell Kurt I could call it up.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
I don't. I don't know if you should. I think
we should say bye to you because I think we
need to take a break.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
I'm surprised you brought me over there.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
You can spend a while. This is gonna be a
real treat for everyone is going to be a treat.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
I don't think so anymore. Can I leave you with
a piece of advice.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
I don't know if you I don't know if I
want you to, but you will.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
You're just gonna deny me right out of the gate.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yeah, I graduated from UCP, so I don't accept your note.

Speaker 2 (41:21):
Oh boy, well, I'm just gonna say that if I
was you, like I said, you chet up, I am
a rich man now.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
I had to earn my money by buying grocery stored
left right and say.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
Rich man in Jexas Revolution Area.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Right, that's right. I was an oil magnet. Come down,
I took off.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
Oh man, I should call him up.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
Taylor is a good friend of mine. Maybe you should
make a show about me called Pigley, Called Pigley Man.

Speaker 1 (41:45):
Oh damn, I gotta call Taylor up.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
Holy hell, let's do this all right. You won't answer.
I know that set. He won't answer. He's too busy
writing lay Man all this other stuff. I have a
piece of Hey, if I was any.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
Kind of person, okay, any kind of person, any kind.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Of person or mutant or monster that wanted to get
ahead in a financial sense. I put all my money
in Disney right now.

Speaker 1 (42:13):
Oh that's not about idea.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Showed all my money in Disney, every single cent because
I think the second it comes out that Patrick Stewart
is that Avengers dooms, they it gonna blow up.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
Okay, sure, I excite it, all right, Thank you so
much for your time. You know I was a Fanta
started Nation Generational, but you knew. I did not know that.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
Yeah, I watched it on Channel six kkkoh.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
Sure sure that interesting letter Joyce together.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
Is this a new era of our Frenches?

Speaker 1 (42:43):
You brought me out of this podcast as a surprise.
Uh yeah, I kind of. I just want to we
had a we had a quite an argument going for.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
A civil war, that's true, but it's over it.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
Yeah, just like the War of eighteen twelve, the Canadian one.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
Oh, you know, just like the civil war. This house one.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
Shots fired. It's all right.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
I live in Texas anyways. I just want to say
that if anybody wants to hear more any more, Texas will,
Texas will Texas. That's my full name, Texas. Actually, my
full name is text Rodeo will.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
If you remember Texas Rodalo, what's right?

Speaker 2 (43:17):
Uh yeah, Texas Rodeo with a ice short of the text.
So I got two episodes of text men our podcast.
Go listen to them. They're they're a hoot a hooting.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Hooting, a holler, hoot and rooting into.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Yeah, I gotta get back. There's a bunch of what's
your wife's name? Well, my first wife with Julie, then
it became Judy, and now it's in deya. Remember I
got a continuity in the history. And have you been
listening to.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
Text over years?

Speaker 2 (43:44):
You think I don't remember it, but I do. And
I'm up to eight Bigley Wiggies. I'm getting close to night.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
I think if you live as a day, you also
lived quite close to me and Jonathan freaks.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
I didn't say it was a spider Man's India. Oh okay, Yeah,
somebody just don't want to sup it got you? You
can't foreigner liber I mean obviously, Yeah, I know you
kind of goo.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
I get it?

Speaker 1 (44:06):
Okay, bye?

Speaker 2 (44:09):
All right?

Speaker 1 (44:11):
What click click? What an adventure.

Speaker 2 (44:15):
The podcast?

Speaker 1 (44:16):
Now?

Speaker 2 (44:16):
Yeah? We still talk about school?

Speaker 1 (44:18):
Yeah, we got we got one more category to go through,
wet and uh and we'll be right back after brought
three starts into our podcast. You brought two of them
to me. You brought Patrick Steward into this.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
We should go to commercial break and yeah, I didn't
bring anybody. Were already here. They wanted to be on
this podcast, all right, by what the podcast?

Speaker 1 (44:44):
This badness? No, we gotta we gotta take a break.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
Okay, we'll be back after the.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
Giggles Geek History Lesson. We are back. Just like anybody
suffering from senior writis in their final year of school.
Jason and I have recollected ourselves, becus ourselves, and we're
ready to finish.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
Actually, he wanted me to ring up text Willomen again
on phone. That's what I said.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
One you brought two homie.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
No, you just told me again during the Curse of break.
You said the saying you said the phone. The phone
board is lighting up because people are so excited that
we brought text Delivering back.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
Somebody did want to tell me that their favorite moment
in Gie History Lesson is every time because it used
to be ring ring that every time ring ring happened
was before we.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
Had the soundboard. We would go ring ring, not.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
We Jason would go ring, ring, ring ring. I do
want to say, yeah, good God, one of my favorite
things about text Willomen is how much Jason's entire posture
changes despite this being an audio only medium. Text a
Lioman is a fully fleshed out character. If you've never
seen him, join us on a live stream before your
loss joined the Patreon.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
He shows up in the five hundred episode.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
He does, he does, He does in a truly petrifying
moment of my life.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
You did not expect he was going to show up,
and he walked into the.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
Room with you slowly horrified. It the funny category that
we have before we sort of reach our conclusion about schools.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
That's a very important conversation.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
Which of these is the best fictional schools? Is the
sort of danger level that comes with attending these schools?

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Yes so.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
At Comartage, danger comes from your fellow students, the big
bads of the MCU and Scarlett Witch being written as
overpowered by a self indulgent comic book writer. At Starfley,
you may suffer holow deck malfunctions, space battles, or time travel.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
At Exavier School for Gifted Youngsters, you may suffer the
side effects of sentinels, supervillains, and unstable powers.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
It's also been blown up a couple of times too.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
All of these have and at the Umbrella Academy you
may be punished by Vagnya on a very bad day.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
That's fair, and also blown up.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
And also blown up, and also your timeline reset every season.
So which do you think is the most dangerous school
to go to? Jason?

Speaker 2 (46:53):
I think it's got to be the x Men's School,
wouldn't you agree, just because like it seems to have
become a trope that Xavier, It's blown up and rebuilt
a lot.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
Yes, I also think Xavier School Forget to Youngsters is
inherently the least safe because they are dealing with public
prejudice as well. So like the reason that they're not
in New York City the way the Umbrella Academy is,
or the Future Foundation even or Avengers Academy when that
was a thing, is because apparently the people in the
Marvel Comics universe can't tell the difference, can tell the

(47:24):
difference between Spider Man and a mutant kid who might
have Spider powers.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
And I know that's that thing that Xavier like makes
the front of the school look different.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
Yeah, I buy that.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
I have no problem so that because that tells you
that if like they saw Xavier, they'd be like, what
the hell bricks. Yeah, there are lots of stories where
the people are like protesting in front of the school.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
Yeah, so I think exaviers inherently, but also because we
know this is cannon from the comics that mo unless
you're born with an obvious mutation, like if you're born
a fuzzy blue wealth for example, a lot of X characters,
a lot of these mutants manifest their powers at a
time of heightened stress or puberty. Yeah, and honestly, that's

(48:05):
just a volatile time for a human being, a person
in general. So you're dealing with what I consider to
be the most horrifying part of your childhood and people's
unstable emotions around that which couldn't express themselves as flames. Yeah,
and that's not something like Yeah, phasers are difficult and scary.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
And we can fully admit Starflei Academy, as you said,
has been tacked apparently multiple times once.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
Yeah, yeah, definitely once, maybe five times, Holidax malfunction in
ways that make absolutely no sense, in a danger people's
lives all the time. And Scarlett, which is a very
very credible threat, Like all of those are very scary,
but I definitely think your most danger comes from attending
Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. So, Jason, I want to
ask you. Yes, we have talked through several categories. We've

(48:51):
gone through our four schools, Comertage, Starfleet Academy, Exaber School
for Gifted Youngsters, and the Umbrella Academy. Which one do
you most want to attend? And then which objectively do
you think offers the most to its universal students.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
I mean, I think I want to attend Carmitage really
because I would love to learn magic.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Yeah, magic school Man, and.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
I think it feels very zen.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
But I think objectively it's Starfleet Academy. I think Starfleet
Academy is far and away. I think they have the
best teachers. I think it's the most interesting school. I
think they have their best classes.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
That's because it's the only one of these options not
listed in present day.

Speaker 3 (49:32):
Like.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
It's a future.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Yeah a little bit.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
It is utopian future yeah, and it just lives.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
I just think in four hundred years in the future
they figure schools out. They got it on lock and
and the other three schools are still dealing with our stuff.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Are there any other fictional schools or like learning institutions
that we haven't talked about or reference or dropped in
some way that you think is at least worthy of,
like a mention or a shout out before the end
of the pod.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
I mean it's interesting because I actually thought it's interesting
because I bet you somebody's going to bring this up.
The Jedi Academy, okay, the Jedi Temple.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
Okay, I thought about it, Okay, especially because I was
looking for a magic school. Sure, I'll be completely honest
with everybody. Why I didn't pick it, Okay, not big
on star and I I think I think that's because I.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Think the Jedi Temple would have been in this before Carmitage,
which was a pretty recent invention.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
Yeah. Like I said, I know said it when I
was sort of looking at options for that. You and
I are nottically passionate about. Oh I'm not a big
Star Wars Star Wars and so I know, I know
comratage does suffer from its newness a little bit. But
I wanted us. I wanted to pick four things that
I at least knew we could say something positive and
engaging about. That's why I didn't put the Jedi I

(50:47):
also don't know that much about the Jedi Jedi Temple.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Well, you're in the Jedi Temple from when you're like
a young until you're like eighteen. Yeah, but it is
a magic school, and before the Clone Wars it was
probably pretty peaceful. Now, the weird thing is that you
might be sent out on a trade dispute with your
master when you were eight and expected to fight like
an army.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Do you think the quality of education that you get.
Do you think it's one of the better schools in
the Star Wars I mean, I can't name another school
in the Star Wars universe.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
What is the Imperial Academy. I guess that's a tree
in the storm trip.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
Because you know, I'm trying to think and I'm like, well,
Leah was would definitely have been independently educated by tutors.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Luke probably didn't go to school, wanted to go to
the Imperial Academy.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Yeah, oh that's true.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
That is a plot point in the first Star Wars
that he wanted to get to the Imperial Cademy.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
They won't let him go.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
They won't let him go.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
Han solo drop out, big dropout energy.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
Yeah, I mean he gets his name from a guard.
I don't know what you're talking about, han by yourself.
Oh solo?

Speaker 1 (51:47):
No, nope, that there's only three Star Wars movies. What
are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (51:51):
There's only two and a half. Let's be honest.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
There's only three and that one animated series with the Soca.
I guess the other one could say two Rebels two.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
But no, I don't think there are any other schools really,
I mean, but the Jenay Academy should be mentioned.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
I think there are also, I know, for like my
lit nerds, there are a lot of literary schools that
I left out as well because we're going for our
biggest swath here.

Speaker 3 (52:17):
I mean, I'm just trying to think.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
I don't watch a lot of you know, I mean
The Magicians is one.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
I mean the Vampire Academy. I was like, Nope, too small.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
I mean the Buffy just goes to the regular high
school and the stuff that happens is outside of it,
so it's not really a training academy. Yeah, and you
mentioned Avatar. I can't really think of anything.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
Okay, good, then I've done our job.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
I'm certain there's one out there that we best.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
Yes, So if you want to learn a little bit
more of each of these. If maybe one of these
is new to you and some of the stuff that
we discussed is intriguing to you, you can head over
to geekistory lesson dot com slash recommended reading. I will
have some of our favorite stories to represent each and
every one of these schools, So please go and check
that out. Jason, Yes, where can people find the show

(53:06):
on socials? And where can they find Apparently.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
From what I've understood, it's at geek history lesson everywhere
that's true, that matters, that's true, and everywhere that it's
not to hell with them?

Speaker 1 (53:15):
Yeah, we're not posting there.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Yeah, And you can find the podcast on Spotify and iTunes,
and you can find me on Instagram and threads at
jawin' s jwii in where can they find you?

Speaker 1 (53:24):
You find me at Ashley V. Robinson everywhere on the Internet.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
Nice. Well, I think we need to get to the
final section of this podcast that we don't have a
sound effect for. What have we learned? Ashley?

Speaker 3 (53:34):
What have you learned today?

Speaker 1 (53:36):
What have I learned today? What have we collectively learned today?
Everygate fictional school comes with awesome perks and a few
life threatening hazards, just like the high school that you
definitely attended. Commratas mystically exploring realms unseen and mastering the
ancient arts with unmatched dedication. Starfleet Academy, boldly striving where
no one has studied before. Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters,

(53:59):
mutant power, epic teachers, and a gym class that might
kill you. The Umbrella Academy, uniting siblings with extraordinary powers
to save the world from imminent destruction. But the real lesson,
the real What have we learned today? At these schools?
You'll make friends, maybe save the world, and definitely never
be bored maybe the longest What have we learned today

(54:21):
to date?

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Yeah? I think you'll be bored at.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
A couple of them, though, Nah, only in maths.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
I mean, I guess so.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
Cool.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
What else is the today? You want me to call you?
Text again?

Speaker 1 (54:34):
Yeah? Please? Thank you so much for listening.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
Yeah, I cannot believe this.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
Okay, thank you so much for sarcastic for listening to
Geek History Lesson. I'm Ashley Victoria Robinson.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
I'm Jason MM and Professor Ashley. Will you please close
out the podcast classes now?

Speaker 1 (54:47):
Dismissed,