Hello Dysfunction
Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”
Episodes
June 18, 2025 • 89 mins
RIP Uncle Jimmy, Father's Day was cute, is WW3 happening and is MAGA waking up? Some people don’t deserve fans, WWF wrestling was NUTS, the government is experimenting on our brains and we’re really out of shape.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG...
Mark as Played
June 11, 2025 • 108 mins
Antique water heater for sale, Crystal did Zumba, Kaitlyn’s return and unicorn searches. Bloody boots, we’re really sweaty, new teeth option and FCK ICE.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lu...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lu...
Mark as Played
June 4, 2025 • 135 mins
It’s 304 day, pride and men’s mental health awareness month! A busy weekend, Filipino karaoke and Crystal thinks she’s a poet. The boycotts aren’t over, don’t parasail alone and missing teeth can be hot.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
In...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
In...
Mark as Played
May 28, 2025 • 107 mins
Pat really likes her doctor, always kiss the judge’s a*s, root canals are bad for you and Peez is outta control. Comedy show update, tired of the credit score game, Crystal is still talking to strangers and irrational fears are crippling.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctio...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctio...
Mark as Played
May 21, 2025 • 128 mins
It’s Stevi and Pat’s birthday, mammograms aren’t that bad, Crystal gave herself a haircut and Pat is warming up to animals. Eat better for your health, is Annabelle causing chaos, parenting is sometimes self healing and bring back MTV.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Mark as Played
May 14, 2025 • 93 mins
Mother’s Day recap, Pat had a busy weekend, new possible beauty treatment and Crystal has an unwanted admirer. Miss Piggy was not ok, Pat is being set up, trust your kid’s intuition and family can get cut off too.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on I...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on I...
Mark as Played
May 8, 2025 • 84 mins
Avon is mysteriously at CVS, Pat is having some scary stuff, we have matching jewels and need to stop speaking things into existence. Crystal has been sad, always get the money FIRST, ghosts are active and there’s a new true crime show to binge.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodys...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodys...
Mark as Played
April 30, 2025 • 101 mins
Pat had another dream about Crystal, shopping with Carolyn is always fun, the impending doom of having something to do and sometimes our bodies are against us. Do you believe in reincarnation? The only cool thing about a Tesla, no white shoes and an update on piss over ice.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
...
Mark as Played
April 23, 2025 • 103 mins
Pat’s had a hard week, Mark is keeping secrets, doctors don’t know everything and we curl our twos. Elvis was carrying a child, chew your coconut oil, interesting medical devices and only fake moan for people you love.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us...
Mark as Played
April 16, 2025 • 111 mins
Crystal has lips, Pata Fria had a lonely weekend, Tahoe was turnt and merch is on the way. Surgery is coming up, Pata Fria wants an old school, catch our live streams on Patreon and Elephants are really amazing.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:...
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:...
Mark as Played
April 9, 2025 • 137 mins
The cats are in big trouble, Pata Fria is being humbled, Crystal made a medical device and all our kids are unique. Ghosts are acting up, our government is starting a lot of problems, men shouldn’t be gynecologists and don’t date violent people.
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow...
Mark as Played
April 3, 2025 • 131 mins
We’re redecorating the set, Crystal finally dissolved her lips, medication adjustments are still happening and influenza is around again. Crystal had a kind exchange, Pata Fria is planning a vacation, the raccoons are getting too comfortable and Jimbo will always do the most.
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@h...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@h...
Mark as Played
March 26, 2025 • 104 mins
Abrupt weather changes are frustrating, Target is feeling the boycott, Aunt Flo is mean and we want Crystal back to herself. Sweet Potatoes are helping, new merch is available, some people can shoot water and don’t leave subs unattended!!
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on I...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on I...
Mark as Played
March 19, 2025 • 94 mins
Itsnotreal is a terrorist state, Home Depot was not welcoming to Pat, don’t trust raggedy dentist offices and Crystal had a really close call. Going to sleep is embarrassing, sometimes you have to parent the parents, Crystal is in the Mandela effect and do not play about your credit.
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtub...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtub...
Mark as Played
March 14, 2025 • 84 mins
Crystal is sick, it’s raining again, make sure you subscribe on your web browser and Pat embarrassed herself once again. Don’t sniff salts, we love green flags, daylight savings is causing harm and don’t snitch on your co-workers.
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
...
Mark as Played
February 26, 2025 • 80 mins
We were rollie pollies, everyone should have exotic animals at work, Pat is a pool shark and may have got dosed. It’s time to find Uncle Crissss, women gotta do better, square dancing has an ugly history and Luigi might be coming home.
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:...
Mark as Played
February 20, 2025 • 96 mins
Don’t drink a whole pot of coffee, Pat needs her glasses, all-star is finally over and watch out for red flags. Crystal was back at the hospital, tv used to be brutal, sometimes karma is on time and onions are good suckers.
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
Instagr...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
Instagr...
Mark as Played
February 12, 2025 • 97 mins
Crystal is adjusting to a new medication, be your own valentine, Pat is working toward her independent goals and Stevi had a hospital visit. Trump is so petty, Kendrick did a great job, hoes get your heels ready and emergency responders are hot.
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow...
Mark as Played
February 5, 2025 • 92 mins
It’s been storming out, Mondays are for doctors appts, Pat is starting new meds and we learned a gross fact about our eyes. It’s Black History Month, practice good waxing etiquette, Peez is a supermodel and we’re just not very lady-like.
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on I...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on I...
Mark as Played
January 29, 2025 • 86 mins
It’s Groundhog Day, dementia is not for the weak, Peez is punching people and Bunny went on a date. Mark needs to grow his hair out, jail dating can be lucrative, cure for hot flashes and Pat does not offer massage.
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/...
For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe on YouTube!
https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/...
Mark as Played
Popular Podcasts
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.