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August 24, 2023 12 mins
In the quiet neighborhood of Westbourne Road, Chester, the walls of Lucy Letby's semi-detached home bore witness to a chilling secret. It wasn't hidden in plain sight, but on crammed Post-it notes filled with her minuscule, frantic scrawls. These scribblings have become crucial evidence, offering a stark window into Letby's deeply troubled psyche.
 
While detectives have posited that these notes were a cryptic way for Letby to end her sinister spree, a deeper analysis reveals more. These Post-its are not a confession, nor are they simple scribbles. They provide a raw, unfiltered look into the recesses of a disturbed mind.
 
As a forensic psychiatrist, delving into the minds of individuals who have committed grievous crimes is not new to me. In secure prisons, tightly locked hospital wards, and courtrooms, I've encountered many who tread the dark path. But Lucy Letby is distinct.
 
The notes are filled with expressions that exemplify 'negative cognitions'. Phrases such as "I don't deserve Mum + Dad", "Hate myself", and "The world is better off without me" resonate with overwhelming guilt, shame, and self-hatred. The inherent contradictions in her notes, with statements like "I haven't done anything wrong" juxtaposed against confessions of her evil nature, signify a tormented soul battling her own conscience. And although these notes give us a glimpse of this internal strife, her guilt, shame, and self-awareness were evidently not potent enough to halt her murderous actions or elicit a confession during the trial.
 
Interspersed in these scribbles, Letby frequently mentions her cats, Tigger and Smudge. Perhaps they were her solace, beings she could control and exhibit genuine affection towards, in stark contrast to the heinous crimes she committed.
 
Despite these profound revelations, classifying Letby under standard psychiatric conditions remains challenging. There's little evidence in these notes that hint towards her suffering from a severe mental illness. However, signs of anxiety and depression permeate her writings. The scribbled "HELP" and "HATE", coupled with the overwhelming intensity of her notes, all point towards a deeply troubled mind.
 
Yet, these symptoms did not impair her daily functions. Colleagues never reported any peculiar stress or abnormal behavior in her role at the hospital. This duality in her nature, of committing unimaginable crimes while outwardly maintaining a composed façade, is haunting.
 
The motivations behind Letby's actions are intricate. While one might be tempted to accept her statement, "I killed them on purpose because I'm not good enough to care for them", as a genuine reflection of her motives, it might just be an expression of self-pity. The actual driving forces, it appears, were the desire for control, power, and a perverse thrill in being around the grieving process. Letby's morbid need to be present during moments of overwhelming parental grief, even when the babies were not her patients, underscores a deeper, more sinister craving.
 
Moreover, despite her crimes, Letby doesn't align neatly with the classical traits of psychopathy. She might have lied to shield her deeds, but she didn't fabricate an alternate reality. The key differentiator here is her emotional perception. While she might cognitively understand the repercussions of her actions, emotionally, she remains detached. The suffering of others doesn't cause her pain; instead, she draws a perverse pleasure from it.
 
Lucy Letby is an enigma. Her behavior before her heinous acts didn't raise alarms. She was perceived as amiable, diligent, and competent. Trying to reconcile this image with the one painted by her Post-it notes is unsettling. With Letby unlikely to ever leave prison, the chances of her receiving intensive psychiatric support, leading to a potential remorse or epiphany, are slim.
 
In conclusion, Lucy Letby remains one of the m
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