November 25, 2025 • 36 mins
Have the GLD listeners been naughty or nice in 2025? Major mom influencer Crystal Carroll joins as we open up a frosty batch of listener letters - breaking down family drama, excessive gifts, fashion faux pas, too much too soon, merry office mischief, and much, much more! This one might require some spiked egg nog.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Pod Popular Podcasts for the People, the Great
Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
The Great Love Debates. It's a Great Love Base.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Hi again, everyone's Brian how He Welcome to the Great
Love Debate, the world's number one Dating a Relationship podcast.
It's twenty fifteen. I am back here in the very
fine studios of Pod Popular Podcasts for the People. I'm
at the one in Scottsdale. It's undergoing a renovation, so
it's going to be even finer studios of Pod Popular
and by popular request on About Demand. I'm caving. I'm
(00:40):
caving to the uh podcasting overlords, and we will have cameras,
three cameras, so you don't have to look at me.
But I have a lot of fancy guests on this podcast,
and you may want to look at them anyway. Podcasts
are supposed to be evergreen, meaning that whenever you release them,
they should be sort of you can listen to them
anytime and they're still going to make sense. We make
four exceptions to that every single year, and those are
(01:03):
our four what we call our seasonal mail bags. We
do our Spring Fling mail bag every year in sort
of March or April, we do our summer love in mailbag.
We do our Fall into Love mail bag because fall
is the best, but our most popular one. Every year
it's our holiday mail bag. And you guys this year
(01:24):
sent us more emails, social media thingies, messages what do
you call those? Than ever before? We pick out as
always a half dozen of them, three from the men
and three from the ladies. And I cannot do with
this myself, so I brought in a professional bon vivant here.
She is many things. She's a hyphenate, she's an entrepreneur,
(01:47):
she's a business owner, she's a proud mom, she's a
beauty queen, and she's a very very popular social media personality,
the very lovely Crystal Carol. How are you?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I'm good? How are you you?
Speaker 3 (02:00):
She came in here, She's like, is this a big podcast?
And I'm like, oh my god, what do you think
we're doing around here?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I had no idea you were such a stud, Brian.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I know I forgot. I guess my my presss and
my advance press didn't do any good. You are now
slowly sort of putting yourself out into the spotlight. I am,
and you have not. You didn't do that for a
long time until what your kids were a little bit
older to handle it, or you got divorced, or you're
you're like, this is my time to shine.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It's interesting, I didn't start doing it until after I
got cancer last year.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
The same Yeah, you only lived once, right, I know.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I'm like, what the heck?
Speaker 3 (02:36):
So is that really? You got cancer and you're like,
fuck it, I'm gonna go for it.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah. Well, you know, I'm an entrepreneur and I always
made money the old school way, which was working really hard,
and then after I got cancer, I'm like, what do
I give a fuck? Like, just put yourself out there.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, judge you?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Who cares?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I know? And the people who judge you were always
I always say the girl on girl crime is so
bad women or so just not They're not You're not
rooting for each other. It's just it's not good.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
It's very tough.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
They're tough, all right. This is how this works. You
have not done this podcast before. Like I said, we
got hundreds of letters. These are unique to this time
of year. As we were recording this, we're in late
twenty twenty five, So if you are listening to this
in twenty twenty seven catch up. By then there'll be
six hundred episodes to catch up on. We do this
every year. It's always my favorite. People are so fucked
(03:29):
up at holiday time, whether you're in a relationship or not.
I'm gonna read and I've not looked at these. I'm
gonna read the emails, messages, and me and you are
going to give you our opinions on them what we
should do in terms of advice observation. We don't have
to agree. It's a great love debate. Who knows that's
gonna go and we'll go from there. You ready, awesome?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I'm ready?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
All right?
Speaker 3 (03:50):
The first one? When did ugly Christmas sweater thing become
a big thing? I've been dating my boyfriend since this
summer and I've been saying had his place more Well,
he doesn't hide anything from me, which I like. But
I went in his closet and I wish he did
hide this from me. He has a box of like
twenty ugly sweaters with all kinds of stuff on them, reindeer,
sanna a menora. I mean, he doesn't want to miss
(04:12):
a day. I don't want him to wear any of them.
Am I out of line. It seems important to him.
Dumb and ridiculous, but important. From not missus Claws in Syracuse.
I've noticed this too. People want to do any excuse
to costume up. I guess I think this falls into
that category. I think the sweaters always look cheap and itchy.
(04:34):
I'm not putting one on. It's become a real thing
for dudes to do this.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
It has It doesn't look good, but it's not pretty.
It's not masculine. I think that's there's no masculine energy
coming from a Christmas sweater.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
There's not.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
No.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I don't understand why this is Suddenly it's not funny.
Is it supposed to be funny?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Oh my god, that's so Look at the snowflakes on
your sweater, Like, can't you just like a red blazer?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Like yeah, you know, it's not my thing. But at
the end of the day, if it makes them happy
and he treats you good, I say, go for it.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
That's a slippery slope if you have one thing.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I don't think this thing is a deal breaker. I
don't think because uh, sweater things. But if he's like,
you know, we're coming out of Halloween as we record this.
Halloween is no longer like one night, one costume. People
do like five nights, five costumes. It's like a whole
Oh yeah, it's a thing this. You know. The other
girls don't usually wear the ugly sweaters. It's the dudes.
(05:33):
And I think if you have one, and maybe you
go to your party or whatever, but if you're like
alternating every day, they're cheap and they're itchy, so you
don't want to put your head on one of them.
They're not like fine cashmere Christmas sweaters, right true. And
if I'm a woman, I would be like, you're not
gonna wear that to dinner, are you?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah? I mean you know, at the end of the day,
I mean you're talking to a girl who's dated a lot,
so at the end of the day, I've learned not
to be so picky. So my opinion is, if he
treats you, I mean, if as long as there's not
a bunch of other things you're picking apart. But if
that's his one little thing, but he opens your car
(06:12):
door and he takes you to dinner and you treat
you great, I mean, what's an ugly sweater? I will
repel other women too.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
So I think you're right on that. Here's my issue.
You figure if you've been dating since summer, Yeah, he
would have brought up like, oh my god, I can't
wait for Christmas. Here's what I do. Like, you figure
this might have come up like she stumbled upon this.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah that's interesting. Yeah, well maybe he's going to surprise
her with ugly sweaters and they could be messed.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
I mean, it's a good thing she found this, because
he might have just shown up with the sweater on
and she'd be like, Okay, that's cute, and then did
it again the next day and she's like, wait, what
are we doing here? And then he's already down the
down the slope.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
True, that's true. That's a slippery slope.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
All right, missus Squad's is not a deal breaker, No,
it's a conversation. Maybe you compromise to be like listen,
pick three, you can wear one a week after Thanksgiving
and then we're good here, or.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Just saying it, Yeah, you can't beat them, join them.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I don't want to see a girl in a I
want to see her sexy, Sanna, I don't want to
see her in an ugly sweater.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, but if that's his sexy go for it.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I don't know if it's a sexy reasonable Okay, reasonable?
Next one, this is from Carrie in Nashville. So hear
me out. You just went to Nashville, didn't you.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I did. I had a great time.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Nash Vegas is the best. Yeah, okay, Carrie, Nashville. So
hear me out. I work at a mid size packaging company. Yes,
it's a lot like dunder Mifflin in Nashville, and every
year our office holiday party turns into an absolute shit show.
I'm part of the hr team and thought it best that,
in the current climate, and to protect the employees and
our bosses, that we should cancel the party and that
(07:46):
we should do all do a day of charity instead. Well,
not only are all the employees mad that they don't
get to booze it up on the company dime, I
feel like my bosses are pissed too, because they are
deprived of the chance to grind up against us in
the inevitable conga line. Did I make the wrong decision?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Well, I say, yes, you made the wrong decision.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
You know, we had a letter last year or the
year before on this. We're doing this podcast a long
time where some guy was like, I'm in chart of
the party and I want to put missiletoe everywhere, And
I remember telling him like, I don't think you can
do that anymore. I think we're coming back a little
bit from the total freak out of five years ago. Yeh,
I think we have dialed back a little bit. I
(08:28):
think you can now compliment a woman at the office
and not get fired like you might have been in
twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
But I've never worked for a company. I thrown Christmas
parties at ones that I companies that I own, and
they always seem to be fairly civilized affairs. I think
it depends on the venue. Yeah, if you're having it
at the office, it tends to get a little crazy,
(08:57):
versusf you have a nice restaurant.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I probably would have maybe changed the environment so it
wasn't a total freak off. But at the end of
the day, I mean total freak off, doesn't I mean.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I know you have to let people used to like
wait all year to hook up at the company Christmas party.
It probably still is a fireable offense. I think if
you're the boss, you have to back up. I don't
know We talked about this a lot of the podcast
that one of the biggest things that has changed over
the last I don't know six years now we're into
it is dating at the workplace. Yeah, you're taking away
(09:30):
a pool of people that you spend forty fifty hours
a week with and you can't all your time socialize
with them. And again, I think we're coming back a
little bit from it. But you got to clear it
with HR. I mean, Carrie, what's your opinion if somebody says, hey,
we're going to date. I like the girl in the
fifth cubicle over, are you flagging that? What's your opinion, Carrie?
(09:51):
She seems a little up tight.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, I mean I gotta be real with that one.
I'd get rid of carry.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Carry your carry. You're the problem. Yeah, if this happened
at the I mean, it's not HR's responsibility for the behavior.
They're just trying to set the environment. So if you had,
you know, the eggnog and the cheese platter and people
went haywire, that's on them.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
But I feel like if everybody's upset, it doesn't sound
like anybody who was unhappy about the party, So what's
the problem. As long as no one's complaining.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Right, you said every year our office holiday party turns
to an absolute chit show. If that happened and there's
a long list of people being seriously endangered or they're
just be like, oh my god, did you see Bob
last week? Then I think it's kind of we need
to laugh more and be a little sillier more.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, we really do. I mean she should if it's
not too late, I throw a little side party.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Kerry, stand down, because you're gonna get blamed. What do
you don't want to crap? Like, if you allow the
party and it happens, it's not getting mad at you.
You might have to deal with some of the fallout,
but from a couple people, But right now you're dealing
with the fallout from everybody.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah. Absolutely. Plus, I mean it's holidays. You want to
It's nothing better than a holiday party. And then you
have something to talk about, you know, through the year,
about the freak cough.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
And why freak cough? The holiday free and why can't
you do the Day of Charity in addition instead of instead,
Like you could do that to kind of counterbalance the party.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
And then as well as I mean, she could also
let people know. Look, the parties have been a little crazy,
and you know previous years. Let's try to chill out
a little but have a good time.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
S dial it backer hand.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah, she went to extreme, you did.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Doesn't have to be one or the other. Could be
in the middle. Maybe maybe beer and wine instead of
full open bar. Absolutely, there you go.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Although I like the full.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I do too. Yeah, all right. The next one is
from John vr Instagram High Debate Team. Hopefully you get
this in time. I've been dating a girl for three
weeks and I'm Catholic and she is Jewish. What is
the Honkah gift giving protocol? Does she really get eight gifts?
I don't even know eight things she likes? And I'm
afraid if I get her just one gift she will
(11:52):
think I'm handling things the Christmas way.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Christmas way?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Whoa?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Well, you know I'm dating a Jewish guy.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Is this is your first time around the holiday season
doing this?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
This?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Is this?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Do you ask these questions? Or does he do both?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
You know he does both. He's kind of a laid
back I don't know if there's a definition, but he's
a laid back Jewish guy. So casual jew casual. He's
a casual Jew. But I say, you know, you ask
her what is her expectation?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Yeah? I think is she because this should be fun,
you know, coming up with You're only three weeks in,
so I don't think you're buying expensive jewelry unless you're
dating Crystal. Maybe you are.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Definitely if you're dating me.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Okay you should. If you're this is an opportunity for
you to come up with eight fun things for her
and you I don't even know eight things she likes.
Who gives a shit? Use your imagination. Come up with
eight fun things and some of them can be gifts,
and some of them will be like, we're gonna do this,
treat Hanukkah like you are super jew, like you go
(12:56):
all out and you do Christmas like, get her eight
you know, interesting fun gifts and then get her a
Christmas present. The opportunity to you know, when you're dating somebody,
you should give them a gift that can only be
from you and can only be for her, which means
is something about you. Means don't get her ugly Christmas sweater.
(13:17):
But this is a way to sort of build up.
She's going to like you if you get this right,
And it's not like you have to get her like
eight sets of shoes.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, but at this stage, so you've gone, I'm sure
for three weeks you've gone to coffee. So her favorite
place is Starbucks. I mean one gift could be a
cute little gift card and a mug. I mean there's
things he can look around at. If she wears a
lip gloss. What's her favorite lip gloss?
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Excellent? Be perceptive, pay attention. That's why you should always
stroll by a jeweler for when the time comes. You
know her taste. Absolutely. Do you think about the princess cut?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah you gotta yeah, yeah, you got to learn all that.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
But that's a good point. You get her a fifty
dollars gift card to Starbucks and the lip gloss. You're
adding up like a few hundred bucks, which is what
you should be spending. If this is somebody you've been
dating by Christmas time, you know, six weeks, seven weeks,
that's good.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Absolutely, in three weeks. How old does it? Haw? Old?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
He is?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
He does not?
Speaker 2 (14:11):
You know what a well it does? Because I think
at our age, after three weeks we kind of know
what we know what direction.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Because if he's a cheaper we pay attention, and we
know what works. It doesn't him. They might just be
going out every Saturday night and that's three weeks.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Yeah yeah, So it depends on the times you've spent.
But he can do a lot of fun considerate things.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, I agree. All right, We're gonna do some more
fun considerate things. I'm here with Crystal Carol. We are
answering the annual Holty mail bag. I have to take
a quick break so we can pay for things like
gift cards around here. We will be back right after this,
and we are back. Okay. This is from Misty in Charlotte,
(14:52):
North Carolina, the Queen City. You know it's called the
Queen City. I do not Queen Charlotte. Ah, how soon
is too soon to bring someone new around the family.
I want to include my boyfriend, but I also don't
want to freak him out. We have a very loud,
crazy family and I'm just not sure what the right
time is to bring him into that. But I'm going
(15:14):
to be home for the holidays and want to include him. Obviously,
help soon I need to book plane tickets. Oh wow,
that's a time, So it's a fly home I talked
about this one time on the podcast for I went
on a second date to Christmas dinner. We went out
like two nights before. She was great. She's like, what
are you doing for Christmas? I was in New York
(15:35):
or whatever, And I go to you do and she goes,
I'm going to my big Italian family in New Jersey.
They're so fun. I don't know where it's going to
go with us, but you will really have a good time.
And I went and I had the best time. They
were like one of those people, like thirty people there.
Everybody was fun. It didn't make it like everybody's like,
how long have you been dating Francesca which is her name?
(15:56):
I remember it was so ballsy of her to ask,
and she said it in a way that didn't freak
me out. But if Misty's saying, like you need to
learn early on if you can deal with my family
and my family can deal with you, I think it's
a sign of I care about you. I would want
to be invited.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, I think so too. I think obviously if she's
if she's asking him to come to the party, she
must like him. She must see a you know girls,
don't she must see a future with him.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Yeah, it's a huge compliment if you think so. None
of this says, I don't know what they'll think of him.
This is you thinking the family.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Which is interesting. I say, you know, I have a
twenty five year old daughter and she just broke up
with her boyfriend. And a big reason it was we're
so close. He didn't want to he didn't want to
be with us all the time. So I say, it's
the other way around. Bring him around your family, make
sure that he likes your family, and if he doesn't,
I cut the cord. Move on.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Oh see, if I brought a girl around my family
and they didn't like my family, I think they have
a good taste. Like she's smart on she goes, I
don't need to see these people again, good saying. I
think that's true though. I think I think I'm very
big again. I'm not twenty four anymore. I like diving
in the deep end. I'm like, we need to see
how far we can take this. This is all of
my shit. Lead with it. Put it all in the
(17:11):
middle of the table. I have a loud, crazy family.
It's Christmas time. It should be fun, no matter what
people are festive people don't get in the fights of
Christmas that they do at Thanksgiving. Thanks Giving us a
little more political for some reason, I don't know, serious,
a little bit more serious. But Christmas, you know, bring him.
He should bring a gift for your mom or whoever.
And you know, if you're flying somewhere, you know your
(17:35):
family assumes that you're staying in a hotel and you're
doing it, so you're not freaking anybody out. I'm all
in for this, although.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I will say you could freak him out a little
only because I was dating a guy and he invited
me to a family reunion and so I'm like, sure,
sounds like fun. He's from Texas Great Group and he
was inviting me to this to meet his whole family
because he was going to propose. Oh god, and I'm
just having fun. So make sure you're both on the
(18:04):
same page too, because sometimes like meet the family, woe.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
I agree, this is her inviting him, the guy inviting
the woman's a little bit different and you don't want
to spring that on that.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
But IM I say, invite him too.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
I think if if a loud, crazy family is entertaining
and it's good, and I think that's better than a
quiet reserve family where you have to talk about things.
Oh God, give me the crazy.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
And there's nothing to talk to you just like it,
I know, too quiet.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
How long have you been dating Misty? What are your intentions?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
All?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Right? Misty is Misty short for mistletoe from Charlotte, North Carolina.
I don't know. Next one. This is from Don in
Fort Worth, Texas, which is another very fun place, Brian.
I came to your show in Dallas and I tried
to ask you this in person, but you were taking
pictures and I didn't want to bother you. Don't bother me,
Don anyway. My girlfriend's birthday is literally on Christmas. We
(18:58):
have been dating for three years, and every year I
feel like I have to go above and beyond the
norm to show her that I completely understand that it
is her birthday too, if you know what I mean.
She always brings up that she always has felt cheated
and overshadowed by having the same birthday as Jesus, and
I understand that. But she's forty four years old. I
mean enough already, right. I am not as big on
(19:24):
birthdays as a lot of people. If some I don't
think I'm dating a girl who says this is my
birthday month.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
You know what, I'm not either. I'm like a dude
over here. But I know a lot of women they do.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
What is that? It's not you know they weren't.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
We didnt get enough attention as a child or something, right.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
That's not my fault.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yeah, But if you love her and that's what makes
her happy, I would actually pick another day, say hey,
let's change your celebration day to a week before.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I'm not changing Jesus needs to change his he allegedly
was born in August. I don't think this is right.
I don't think she's doing that. No, she might not
do I'm not moving.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I mean, I just say, if you love the girl,
you go above and beyond.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
I mean, you've been dating for three years. This is
her deal. It's one day the year where that you're
gonna have to work through some ick here and figure
it out. But I think if it's her birthday and
you really go high on her birthday, I think you
can dial back a little bit on the Christmas and
then you're kind of safe. Well I mean, which, okay,
what's a bigger president of Christmas present or birthday present?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You have to get out of your mind. You just
have to get out of your mind that if her
birthday was a month earlier, you could get her whatever
for a birthday and then whatever for Christmas. Get out
of your mind that you're buying it. At the same time,
what's the bigger gift? I would say, both of are
big gifts. You're talking to it little girl who loves
gifts overady?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
I know, And gift giving is a skill. Well, you
have no so which one goes first? I mean, that's
why that's the thing you have to kind of decide.
I think Christmas gift is bigger.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Yeah, I mean, but you're setting yourself. Gosh, he's in
a bune.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
This is not an easy one. Three years if she's
a pain in the ass. You know. I dated this
girl who I've told this story in the podcast for
I'm gonna do tell this again because I think it's
a good story. It's an example of how we can
never get it right. So I dated a girl. The
only day of the year that she was happy was
her birthday July fifteenth, I think July sixteenth, And so
(21:26):
I'm like, that's so weird, you know, why is she
only really happy on her birthday. One of those people
who didn't get loved on her birthday whatever. So I'm like,
because she was not happy a lot of the time,
I'm like, if I can make every day feel like
her birthday, this is going to be good. So I
wrote on three hundred and sixty five little pieces of
paper and put it in a Crown Royal bag, three
(21:48):
hundred and sixty five different little gifts. Earlier writer here
who you wanted to come up with? Eight for Hanukah.
I came up with three hundred and sixty five gifts
put in a bag, and I thought every morning she'd
wake up and she'd pull something out and we would
kind of celebrate her birthday. Awesome gift, right.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Look at you.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Yeah, here's where you go wrong though. So some of
these things were like walk on the beach, and some
of these things were like iPad okay, And she would
after like a week, she's pulling in and it's like
go get brunch and she's like, oh, where's the oh right.
So the ones that were not as good, she felt cheated.
(22:25):
And that was the end. That was like, if I
cannot this is the greatest gift ever. And to just
to write three hundred and sixty five things physically took forever,
and the fact that she's like disappointed when it wasn't
something that that led to like three hundred days of disappointment.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yeah, but there's a lot more into that one happy breath.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
But I tried. I'm like, poem, I don't want to
fucking poem. I want some new gloves, like like it
totally backfired.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Oh and it was so sweet. That was very romantic rock.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I know it didn't work else, but it was also
like a spotlight on this is what doesn't.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Work out well, you know what great test because it
was a great test.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
So this wasn't This is not a way I could
make her happy every day. It was like a day
that she was disappointed most days.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, that's a tough one.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
I know. I tried, and I feel like I can't
give that gift again. I feel like I wasted that gift.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah, that was a waste for You'll think of something else.
You're so romantic, I.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Will there we go, all right? Last one This is
from b d B d VR facebook page. You can
see where I'm going with this. How close to a
holiday can I break up with someone? Or how soon after.
Once you get into gifts, it's a little harsh to
pull the trigger soon after. But if I wait too long,
it looks like I'm trying to avoid the gift altogether.
(23:39):
Am I on the hook for the entire Thanksgiving through
New Year's Day? Cycle? If so, what is the least
amount I can spend on someone I have been dating
for four months?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
You know what, I'm I'm an old school here. I
just say, you cut the cord.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
No matter what, no gift, Christmas.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Eve, Christmas Thanksgiving, cut it.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I mean, yeah, I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I don't want you to stick around on the kindness
of your heart. Get out right.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
And then you're wasting Beady. I don't know if Beaty's
a guy or a girl. You're wasting their holiday season
for something that's not your intent. Is not good. You
should always date with positive intent. And if you're just
going through the motions to get to January, tewod.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
She's gonna know it.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
She's going to know it, and you're wasting your own
time too.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Yeah, both, you know what, Let her move on? You
move on.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I mean, look, yeah, this sounds like you don't want
to be alone. Bead and you're looking to sort of
tread water with this person until you get to the end. Business.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Use it as excused. Get let the poor girl go.
She'll go find somebody, and you'll find somebody eventually. It's
okay to be alone on the holiday.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Yeah, you can pull the trigger, pull the parachute on
this relationship, whatever you want. So we started to tease
this a couple months back. We didn't get to it
because I had all kinds of health stuff to get through.
But we're logic a podcast called cold Feet in the
New Year, and it's about people who called off engagements. Ah,
And I think that is one of the bravest, ballsiest
things that anybody can do, because a lot of people
just be like, I'll just go through that. I can't cancel.
(25:03):
We've already set out the invites and I'll just get
divorced later, you know, I pull.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
I've canceled a couple engagements.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Have you canceled weddings?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Though, No weddings, just engagement.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
That's different. Engagements. You'll do you keep the jewelry?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
No, I always give it back?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Oh you do?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
If you break up, if you're the one that breaks up,
you've got to give back the goods.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
So you said yes, not being sure, you just want
to wear the jewelry for a while.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
You know, I have I have a philosophy. The girl's
not sure until she walks down the aisle, you know,
when she gets exactly it's a test phase. Man.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
I think you're so you're moving to test phase, like
not the most romantic, but you might be right.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I mean, once you have that ring, you're still the girl.
I don't care what anybody says. A girl's not one
hundred percent in. She's watching him until that.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
I do because you act different as a fiance absolutely, huh.
And how he acts while you're planning the wedding and
how supportively is and everything. Oh, there's a lot of
variables there.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
That's going to be a fun show. I know.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
So if you because I'm trying, you know, I think
it's incredibly brave that night for the wedding, family's on
town and be like, I cannot do this is and
do it. A lot of people don't. I ask a
lot of people when people tell me they got divorced.
I don't ask why you got divorced. I say, when
did you know it wasn't going to last? Forever. Almost always.
(26:15):
It's like when you ask me or the wedding day,
it's always really early. But you were married for fourteen
years and had three kids. I didn't think it would
last forever.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Yeah, that's a tough one. It's true. You do know intuitively,
it's usually right before you do it, but you're like shit.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
And then you hope it'll get better and you're already
in and you know you want to get married and whatever.
It's a tough one. It is so bad how close
to the holiday. It does not matter. The second you
listen to this podcast.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Break up absolutely because you're.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Riding through this idea that like people need to be
with somebody during holiday season. They don't need to be
with somebody who doesn't love them during holiday season because
that's a terrible feeling and they can tell.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Yeah, I think that's worse. Do the manly thing, Yeah, do.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
The manly thing. Get ahead, start on the new year.
Get going to go to the Carrie's holiday party in
Nashville and the missiletone.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yeah, and let her go to some holiday parties. You
never know who she might find.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
All right, that's fun. This is our mailbag now, young lady,
this is your first time. On the podcast, we play
something called worst date or first date, So you have
to give us either the absolute worst date you've ever
been on or the single best first date you've ever
been on.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Your choice, Oh my gosh, I didn't let me prepare
for this, worst or the best.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
Best first dates?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
A first date has to be a first date or
the worst date. You know I'm gonna get I've probably
probably the best first date, but I'm probably gonna get
killed for this. Okay, you won't en't want to hear it? Yes,
And like I said, I'm not a romantic okay, but
you can buy my love.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
That is romance.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
My best first date. Honestly, he took me on my
very first date, and he took me to Louis Vuitton
and bought me a bag that's fantastic. And you know
that was a tough one because you know, how do
you compete with that? I mean, every girl loves a
Louis Vuitton.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Now, how far into are you dining at a mall
and there's a Louis Vuitton and you're like you want
to stop in? Or was it like right.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Away I thought we were just going for a lunch
date and.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
So it was daytime.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
It was daytime. He took me on a lunch date
and he's like, you want to walk around the mall?
And I said sure. He's like, let's go into Louis
and he's like, what do you think of that bag?
And you know lives it's nice and it's yours. So
I was, girls, are you going to say no?
Speaker 3 (28:31):
No, it's a good test of him and you Oh, yeah,
I think it's ballsy. But there was food involved.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
There was food involved, and I'll tell you you know,
I know a lot of people are really romantic and
he took me on a helicopter ride or did whatever.
But it depends on your love language. I think guys
invest and girls that they want to keep.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
So it showed me he was willing to invest in
me right away.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
He wanted to please you.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
He did.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
He wanted to show that he could handle you.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
It was a great date.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
There you go, that is a good first date.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
I was, Oh, I thought you'd pick I thought you'd
pick worst date.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
But now you know they're really lucky. I am so
picking on who I date.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Well, how do you know? How are you picky? I mean,
how do you how what is your screening process?
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Well, you talk to him a little bit, you ask
him questions.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
You know, what is your screening question? Were you asking?
Do you know about Louis? But do you know how
to pronounce their right away?
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Let them know I'm high maintenance. That way they can
bail out like this isn't the chick for me? So
I'm pretty honest.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Right up front, define high maintenance.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
I let him know, Hey, look I only do five star,
five star hotels.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
I only for fly first question, you're not flying Spirit.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I'm not flying Spirit. I just think you should know
I am. You know, I like to live a certain
way and that might not be for you. And I've
had some guys go that's fair. I can't afford you.
I said, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
I dated a woman once who she had like forty
million dollars something like that.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
No, not nice, because she never wanted anybody to think
that anybody was dating that. People be like, he's with
her for her money. So I had to pay for everything.
So she'd order it like it was like give me
the fourteen at dinner. Everything, and she'd be like, see,
he doesn't care about mine. In her house, she was
perfectly normal and calm, but out in the world it
(30:18):
was the most expensive, miserable. Okay, I'm like, I just
cannot keep up here.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
No, she's got that much money and come on.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Yeah, no, she didn't want It was a test of me.
It was a test of people around her. So I,
you know, we would go to dinner in her Bentley
and I we'd park it and I would have to
Then I'm like, this sucks. No, yeah, she was poor.
I would have liked her.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
You know what, I'm a big I'm not a big
believer of dating below your pay grade as a woman.
So I only once I started dating guys that made
more money than me. Yeah, it worked out better.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
Eventually, it does come into play it because he needs
to feel like the provider. He needs to feel like
the man. He needs to Oh.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Yeah, I've dated guys that were like, I can't, I
can't date you. Your your car is worth my house? I said, fair.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
Your love languages gifts.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
My love language is everything. The poor guy, your love
language is more like gifts love attention. You know, ask aimation,
what about you?
Speaker 3 (31:21):
I believe eighty five percent of men have the same
love language, and that loud language, and that is words words.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
I was gonna say sex.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
No, we need the physical touch because we don't get
the words. Yeah, the only way we know if you
like us is if you touch us. But if you
told us that you find us interesting and desirable and
all those kind of things, we would need a lot
less touch.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Ah, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
We don't get the words. We go, we pick you up,
we tell you look beautiful, and we might get like
a thank you. We don't hear anything coming back. Really,
he could tell what I'm thinking now. We can't like you.
Guys don't say a lot of stuff. So when we
do get the words, the positive words, not the smack
on the nose, the pat on the nose that you
did good here. Usually the women only speak up when
we fuck up.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's true, that's true. I think having four kids, I'm
pretty good at words and touch because I you know,
I just guys like a little. I feel like it's
a little bit of mothering, but not mothering, like, oh,
you're the greatest.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
And you have four daughters.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
I have three daughters and a son.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Oh, three daughters and a son. Do the daughters take
their cues from mom's dating habits?
Speaker 2 (32:20):
They do. I told my twenty three sorry for their boyfriends.
I'm like, look, find a guy that has a good
work ethic and you guys can grow rich together.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
You know, I agree with you too, many of you
guys under thirty, And we talked about this earlier. You're
not busting your ass to get the money to get
the girl because you have video games important.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Oh no, that's huge, just when my twenty five year
old the video games and marijuana is a big thing.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
I know. To get your shit together, guys, the juice
is worth a squeeze.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yep, so true.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
All right, how can everybody find you and follow you
and your dating adventures?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I am well, I am starting my own podcast, as
you know. There you go as well as you can
find me on TikTok mom, on apolog jEdit Crystal and yeah,
I've had a great time amazing on.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
A apologetic Crystal.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Yeah mom, I have a couple of have like five
or six fake accounts. The ones who know, oh my god,
can burner account. The women who know how to use
the TikTok.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Yeah, they they're killing it.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yeah, you know it's new to me. I've only been
on it like four months. And those the other accounts
are just fakes that somebody else has made and they're
trying to catfish guys with.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Istok are guys on TikTok?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
That much guys are on TikTok? I would say sixty
percent of my followers so far. I'm trying to get
more women. But you know, women are tough.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
They're tough crowd because they're going to be judgmental and jealous.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Well especially for me. I'm in my you know, I'm
fifty one and I look forty.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
I hope, I know you're you say here, I like this,
not all. Most of what anybody else comments about you
is what you look like. Yeah, okay, So why can't
you talk about it? That's my point.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
If other people are like, oh my god, she's pretty,
and she's pretty, I'll give her that. There's no cameras here,
just take my word for it. Why can't you say
it out loud? You know, you could say you're smart,
you could say you're fun, you could say you're hard working,
But you can't say the thing that everybody else is coming.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
I can't. You're a narcissist if you.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Do, I get it.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
And that word is so overused.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I know every woman, he's a narcist. Now, he just
didn't like.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
You, and same for her though, Hey I'm a confident.
Check over here.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
There was somebody in this podcast studio yesterday and she
knew I had surgery recently, and she goes, you almost
look hot. You look good, You almost look hot. And
I go, is that my ceiling almost look hot? She goes, yeah,
probably probably not going to get above that. I was like,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
It's funny because when you told me you didn't do video,
I was like, he's a nice looking guy. The glasses,
he's got a cool vibe. Yeah, he pulls off the
gray hair wonderfully. I'm surprised that you don't film.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
See none of my listeners knew I had gray hair.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Well you have like the sexy kind of Richard gear
gray hairs.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
You do it well bright, He's like ninety all right,
he no, everybody I do live shows people now us
You're awesome. Thank you as far as us like, share, follow,
Please review this podcast. Your reviews still after five hundred
and something shows, your reviews still mean a lot to
me and in the podcasting ecosystem, shoot us an email.
(35:16):
Great Looad Debate at gmail dot com. If you have questions, comments, thoughts,
things for Christmas party, advice, gifts for Crystal, we will
pass those along. Go to Great Loovedebate dot com. I
know I say this every year. I've had more retirement
tours than Elton John. But we may may be doing
(35:36):
more live shows. We almost certainly are doing the cruise
thing that I can ask you all the time, the
Great Love to boat. So go to Great Lovedebate dot com.
Information tickets in the new year. So again, if you're
listening to this in summer of twenty twenty eight, you
missed the Great Love to Bote because, as always at
the Great Love Debate, we never stop making love. See
(35:58):
you next time.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
The Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, the
Great
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Love Debate, It's the Great Love to be
This is Pod Popular Podcasts for the People, the Great
Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
The Great Love Debates. It's a Great Love Base.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Hi again, everyone's Brian how He Welcome to the Great
Love Debate, the world's number one Dating a Relationship podcast.
It's twenty fifteen. I am back here in the very
fine studios of Pod Popular Podcasts for the People. I'm
at the one in Scottsdale. It's undergoing a renovation, so
it's going to be even finer studios of Pod Popular
and by popular request on About Demand. I'm caving. I'm
(00:40):
caving to the uh podcasting overlords, and we will have cameras,
three cameras, so you don't have to look at me.
But I have a lot of fancy guests on this podcast,
and you may want to look at them anyway. Podcasts
are supposed to be evergreen, meaning that whenever you release them,
they should be sort of you can listen to them
anytime and they're still going to make sense. We make
four exceptions to that every single year, and those are
(01:03):
our four what we call our seasonal mail bags. We
do our Spring Fling mail bag every year in sort
of March or April, we do our summer love in mailbag.
We do our Fall into Love mail bag because fall
is the best, but our most popular one. Every year
it's our holiday mail bag. And you guys this year
(01:24):
sent us more emails, social media thingies, messages what do
you call those? Than ever before? We pick out as
always a half dozen of them, three from the men
and three from the ladies. And I cannot do with
this myself, so I brought in a professional bon vivant here.
She is many things. She's a hyphenate, she's an entrepreneur,
(01:47):
she's a business owner, she's a proud mom, she's a
beauty queen, and she's a very very popular social media personality,
the very lovely Crystal Carol. How are you?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I'm good? How are you you?
Speaker 3 (02:00):
She came in here, She's like, is this a big podcast?
And I'm like, oh my god, what do you think
we're doing around here?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I had no idea you were such a stud, Brian.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I know I forgot. I guess my my presss and
my advance press didn't do any good. You are now
slowly sort of putting yourself out into the spotlight. I am,
and you have not. You didn't do that for a
long time until what your kids were a little bit
older to handle it, or you got divorced, or you're
you're like, this is my time to shine.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It's interesting, I didn't start doing it until after I
got cancer last year.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
The same Yeah, you only lived once, right, I know.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I'm like, what the heck?
Speaker 3 (02:36):
So is that really? You got cancer and you're like,
fuck it, I'm gonna go for it.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah. Well, you know, I'm an entrepreneur and I always
made money the old school way, which was working really hard,
and then after I got cancer, I'm like, what do
I give a fuck? Like, just put yourself out there.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, judge you?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Who cares?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I know? And the people who judge you were always
I always say the girl on girl crime is so
bad women or so just not They're not You're not
rooting for each other. It's just it's not good.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
It's very tough.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
They're tough, all right. This is how this works. You
have not done this podcast before. Like I said, we
got hundreds of letters. These are unique to this time
of year. As we were recording this, we're in late
twenty twenty five, So if you are listening to this
in twenty twenty seven catch up. By then there'll be
six hundred episodes to catch up on. We do this
every year. It's always my favorite. People are so fucked
(03:29):
up at holiday time, whether you're in a relationship or not.
I'm gonna read and I've not looked at these. I'm
gonna read the emails, messages, and me and you are
going to give you our opinions on them what we
should do in terms of advice observation. We don't have
to agree. It's a great love debate. Who knows that's
gonna go and we'll go from there. You ready, awesome?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I'm ready?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
All right?
Speaker 3 (03:50):
The first one? When did ugly Christmas sweater thing become
a big thing? I've been dating my boyfriend since this
summer and I've been saying had his place more Well,
he doesn't hide anything from me, which I like. But
I went in his closet and I wish he did
hide this from me. He has a box of like
twenty ugly sweaters with all kinds of stuff on them, reindeer,
sanna a menora. I mean, he doesn't want to miss
(04:12):
a day. I don't want him to wear any of them.
Am I out of line. It seems important to him.
Dumb and ridiculous, but important. From not missus Claws in Syracuse.
I've noticed this too. People want to do any excuse
to costume up. I guess I think this falls into
that category. I think the sweaters always look cheap and itchy.
(04:34):
I'm not putting one on. It's become a real thing
for dudes to do this.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
It has It doesn't look good, but it's not pretty.
It's not masculine. I think that's there's no masculine energy
coming from a Christmas sweater.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
There's not.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
No.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I don't understand why this is Suddenly it's not funny.
Is it supposed to be funny?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Oh my god, that's so Look at the snowflakes on
your sweater, Like, can't you just like a red blazer?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Like yeah, you know, it's not my thing. But at
the end of the day, if it makes them happy
and he treats you good, I say, go for it.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
That's a slippery slope if you have one thing.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I don't think this thing is a deal breaker. I
don't think because uh, sweater things. But if he's like,
you know, we're coming out of Halloween as we record this.
Halloween is no longer like one night, one costume. People
do like five nights, five costumes. It's like a whole
Oh yeah, it's a thing this. You know. The other
girls don't usually wear the ugly sweaters. It's the dudes.
(05:33):
And I think if you have one, and maybe you
go to your party or whatever, but if you're like
alternating every day, they're cheap and they're itchy, so you
don't want to put your head on one of them.
They're not like fine cashmere Christmas sweaters, right true. And
if I'm a woman, I would be like, you're not
gonna wear that to dinner, are you?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah? I mean you know, at the end of the day,
I mean you're talking to a girl who's dated a lot,
so at the end of the day, I've learned not
to be so picky. So my opinion is, if he
treats you, I mean, if as long as there's not
a bunch of other things you're picking apart. But if
that's his one little thing, but he opens your car
(06:12):
door and he takes you to dinner and you treat
you great, I mean, what's an ugly sweater? I will
repel other women too.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
So I think you're right on that. Here's my issue.
You figure if you've been dating since summer, Yeah, he
would have brought up like, oh my god, I can't
wait for Christmas. Here's what I do. Like, you figure
this might have come up like she stumbled upon this.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah that's interesting. Yeah, well maybe he's going to surprise
her with ugly sweaters and they could be messed.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
I mean, it's a good thing she found this, because
he might have just shown up with the sweater on
and she'd be like, Okay, that's cute, and then did
it again the next day and she's like, wait, what
are we doing here? And then he's already down the
down the slope.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
True, that's true. That's a slippery slope.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
All right, missus Squad's is not a deal breaker, No,
it's a conversation. Maybe you compromise to be like listen,
pick three, you can wear one a week after Thanksgiving
and then we're good here, or.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Just saying it, Yeah, you can't beat them, join them.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I don't want to see a girl in a I
want to see her sexy, Sanna, I don't want to
see her in an ugly sweater.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, but if that's his sexy go for it.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I don't know if it's a sexy reasonable Okay, reasonable?
Next one, this is from Carrie in Nashville. So hear
me out. You just went to Nashville, didn't you.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I did. I had a great time.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Nash Vegas is the best. Yeah, okay, Carrie, Nashville. So
hear me out. I work at a mid size packaging company. Yes,
it's a lot like dunder Mifflin in Nashville, and every
year our office holiday party turns into an absolute shit show.
I'm part of the hr team and thought it best that,
in the current climate, and to protect the employees and
our bosses, that we should cancel the party and that
(07:46):
we should do all do a day of charity instead. Well,
not only are all the employees mad that they don't
get to booze it up on the company dime, I
feel like my bosses are pissed too, because they are
deprived of the chance to grind up against us in
the inevitable conga line. Did I make the wrong decision?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Well, I say, yes, you made the wrong decision.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
You know, we had a letter last year or the
year before on this. We're doing this podcast a long
time where some guy was like, I'm in chart of
the party and I want to put missiletoe everywhere, And
I remember telling him like, I don't think you can
do that anymore. I think we're coming back a little
bit from the total freak out of five years ago. Yeh,
I think we have dialed back a little bit. I
(08:28):
think you can now compliment a woman at the office
and not get fired like you might have been in
twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
But I've never worked for a company. I thrown Christmas
parties at ones that I companies that I own, and
they always seem to be fairly civilized affairs. I think
it depends on the venue. Yeah, if you're having it
at the office, it tends to get a little crazy,
(08:57):
versusf you have a nice restaurant.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I probably would have maybe changed the environment so it
wasn't a total freak off. But at the end of
the day, I mean total freak off, doesn't I mean.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I know you have to let people used to like
wait all year to hook up at the company Christmas party.
It probably still is a fireable offense. I think if
you're the boss, you have to back up. I don't
know We talked about this a lot of the podcast
that one of the biggest things that has changed over
the last I don't know six years now we're into
it is dating at the workplace. Yeah, you're taking away
(09:30):
a pool of people that you spend forty fifty hours
a week with and you can't all your time socialize
with them. And again, I think we're coming back a
little bit from it. But you got to clear it
with HR. I mean, Carrie, what's your opinion if somebody says, hey,
we're going to date. I like the girl in the
fifth cubicle over, are you flagging that? What's your opinion, Carrie?
(09:51):
She seems a little up tight.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, I mean I gotta be real with that one.
I'd get rid of carry.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Carry your carry. You're the problem. Yeah, if this happened
at the I mean, it's not HR's responsibility for the behavior.
They're just trying to set the environment. So if you had,
you know, the eggnog and the cheese platter and people
went haywire, that's on them.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
But I feel like if everybody's upset, it doesn't sound
like anybody who was unhappy about the party, So what's
the problem. As long as no one's complaining.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Right, you said every year our office holiday party turns
to an absolute chit show. If that happened and there's
a long list of people being seriously endangered or they're
just be like, oh my god, did you see Bob
last week? Then I think it's kind of we need
to laugh more and be a little sillier more.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, we really do. I mean she should if it's
not too late, I throw a little side party.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Kerry, stand down, because you're gonna get blamed. What do
you don't want to crap? Like, if you allow the
party and it happens, it's not getting mad at you.
You might have to deal with some of the fallout,
but from a couple people, But right now you're dealing
with the fallout from everybody.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah. Absolutely. Plus, I mean it's holidays. You want to
It's nothing better than a holiday party. And then you
have something to talk about, you know, through the year,
about the freak cough.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
And why freak cough? The holiday free and why can't
you do the Day of Charity in addition instead of instead,
Like you could do that to kind of counterbalance the party.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
And then as well as I mean, she could also
let people know. Look, the parties have been a little crazy,
and you know previous years. Let's try to chill out
a little but have a good time.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
S dial it backer hand.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah, she went to extreme, you did.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Doesn't have to be one or the other. Could be
in the middle. Maybe maybe beer and wine instead of
full open bar. Absolutely, there you go.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Although I like the full.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I do too. Yeah, all right. The next one is
from John vr Instagram High Debate Team. Hopefully you get
this in time. I've been dating a girl for three
weeks and I'm Catholic and she is Jewish. What is
the Honkah gift giving protocol? Does she really get eight gifts?
I don't even know eight things she likes? And I'm
afraid if I get her just one gift she will
(11:52):
think I'm handling things the Christmas way.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Christmas way?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Whoa?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Well, you know I'm dating a Jewish guy.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Is this is your first time around the holiday season
doing this?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
This?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Is this?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Do you ask these questions? Or does he do both?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
You know he does both. He's kind of a laid
back I don't know if there's a definition, but he's
a laid back Jewish guy. So casual jew casual. He's
a casual Jew. But I say, you know, you ask
her what is her expectation?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Yeah? I think is she because this should be fun,
you know, coming up with You're only three weeks in,
so I don't think you're buying expensive jewelry unless you're
dating Crystal. Maybe you are.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Definitely if you're dating me.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Okay you should. If you're this is an opportunity for
you to come up with eight fun things for her
and you I don't even know eight things she likes.
Who gives a shit? Use your imagination. Come up with
eight fun things and some of them can be gifts,
and some of them will be like, we're gonna do this,
treat Hanukkah like you are super jew, like you go
(12:56):
all out and you do Christmas like, get her eight
you know, interesting fun gifts and then get her a
Christmas present. The opportunity to you know, when you're dating somebody,
you should give them a gift that can only be
from you and can only be for her, which means
is something about you. Means don't get her ugly Christmas sweater.
(13:17):
But this is a way to sort of build up.
She's going to like you if you get this right,
And it's not like you have to get her like
eight sets of shoes.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, but at this stage, so you've gone, I'm sure
for three weeks you've gone to coffee. So her favorite
place is Starbucks. I mean one gift could be a
cute little gift card and a mug. I mean there's
things he can look around at. If she wears a
lip gloss. What's her favorite lip gloss?
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Excellent? Be perceptive, pay attention. That's why you should always
stroll by a jeweler for when the time comes. You
know her taste. Absolutely. Do you think about the princess cut?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah you gotta yeah, yeah, you got to learn all that.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
But that's a good point. You get her a fifty
dollars gift card to Starbucks and the lip gloss. You're
adding up like a few hundred bucks, which is what
you should be spending. If this is somebody you've been
dating by Christmas time, you know, six weeks, seven weeks,
that's good.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Absolutely, in three weeks. How old does it? Haw? Old?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
He is?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
He does not?
Speaker 2 (14:11):
You know what a well it does? Because I think
at our age, after three weeks we kind of know
what we know what direction.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Because if he's a cheaper we pay attention, and we
know what works. It doesn't him. They might just be
going out every Saturday night and that's three weeks.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Yeah yeah, So it depends on the times you've spent.
But he can do a lot of fun considerate things.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, I agree. All right, We're gonna do some more
fun considerate things. I'm here with Crystal Carol. We are
answering the annual Holty mail bag. I have to take
a quick break so we can pay for things like
gift cards around here. We will be back right after this,
and we are back. Okay. This is from Misty in Charlotte,
(14:52):
North Carolina, the Queen City. You know it's called the
Queen City. I do not Queen Charlotte. Ah, how soon
is too soon to bring someone new around the family.
I want to include my boyfriend, but I also don't
want to freak him out. We have a very loud,
crazy family and I'm just not sure what the right
time is to bring him into that. But I'm going
(15:14):
to be home for the holidays and want to include him. Obviously,
help soon I need to book plane tickets. Oh wow,
that's a time, So it's a fly home I talked
about this one time on the podcast for I went
on a second date to Christmas dinner. We went out
like two nights before. She was great. She's like, what
are you doing for Christmas? I was in New York
(15:35):
or whatever, And I go to you do and she goes,
I'm going to my big Italian family in New Jersey.
They're so fun. I don't know where it's going to
go with us, but you will really have a good time.
And I went and I had the best time. They
were like one of those people, like thirty people there.
Everybody was fun. It didn't make it like everybody's like,
how long have you been dating Francesca which is her name?
(15:56):
I remember it was so ballsy of her to ask,
and she said it in a way that didn't freak
me out. But if Misty's saying, like you need to
learn early on if you can deal with my family
and my family can deal with you, I think it's
a sign of I care about you. I would want
to be invited.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, I think so too. I think obviously if she's
if she's asking him to come to the party, she
must like him. She must see a you know girls,
don't she must see a future with him.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Yeah, it's a huge compliment if you think so. None
of this says, I don't know what they'll think of him.
This is you thinking the family.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Which is interesting. I say, you know, I have a
twenty five year old daughter and she just broke up
with her boyfriend. And a big reason it was we're
so close. He didn't want to he didn't want to
be with us all the time. So I say, it's
the other way around. Bring him around your family, make
sure that he likes your family, and if he doesn't,
I cut the cord. Move on.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Oh see, if I brought a girl around my family
and they didn't like my family, I think they have
a good taste. Like she's smart on she goes, I
don't need to see these people again, good saying. I
think that's true though. I think I think I'm very
big again. I'm not twenty four anymore. I like diving
in the deep end. I'm like, we need to see
how far we can take this. This is all of
my shit. Lead with it. Put it all in the
(17:11):
middle of the table. I have a loud, crazy family.
It's Christmas time. It should be fun, no matter what
people are festive people don't get in the fights of
Christmas that they do at Thanksgiving. Thanks Giving us a
little more political for some reason, I don't know, serious,
a little bit more serious. But Christmas, you know, bring him.
He should bring a gift for your mom or whoever.
And you know, if you're flying somewhere, you know your
(17:35):
family assumes that you're staying in a hotel and you're
doing it, so you're not freaking anybody out. I'm all
in for this, although.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I will say you could freak him out a little
only because I was dating a guy and he invited
me to a family reunion and so I'm like, sure,
sounds like fun. He's from Texas Great Group and he
was inviting me to this to meet his whole family
because he was going to propose. Oh god, and I'm
just having fun. So make sure you're both on the
(18:04):
same page too, because sometimes like meet the family, woe.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
I agree, this is her inviting him, the guy inviting
the woman's a little bit different and you don't want
to spring that on that.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
But IM I say, invite him too.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
I think if if a loud, crazy family is entertaining
and it's good, and I think that's better than a
quiet reserve family where you have to talk about things.
Oh God, give me the crazy.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
And there's nothing to talk to you just like it,
I know, too quiet.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
How long have you been dating Misty? What are your intentions?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
All?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Right? Misty is Misty short for mistletoe from Charlotte, North Carolina.
I don't know. Next one. This is from Don in
Fort Worth, Texas, which is another very fun place, Brian.
I came to your show in Dallas and I tried
to ask you this in person, but you were taking
pictures and I didn't want to bother you. Don't bother me,
Don anyway. My girlfriend's birthday is literally on Christmas. We
(18:58):
have been dating for three years, and every year I
feel like I have to go above and beyond the
norm to show her that I completely understand that it
is her birthday too, if you know what I mean.
She always brings up that she always has felt cheated
and overshadowed by having the same birthday as Jesus, and
I understand that. But she's forty four years old. I
mean enough already, right. I am not as big on
(19:24):
birthdays as a lot of people. If some I don't
think I'm dating a girl who says this is my
birthday month.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
You know what, I'm not either. I'm like a dude
over here. But I know a lot of women they do.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
What is that? It's not you know they weren't.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
We didnt get enough attention as a child or something, right.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
That's not my fault.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yeah, But if you love her and that's what makes
her happy, I would actually pick another day, say hey,
let's change your celebration day to a week before.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I'm not changing Jesus needs to change his he allegedly
was born in August. I don't think this is right.
I don't think she's doing that. No, she might not
do I'm not moving.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
I mean, I just say, if you love the girl,
you go above and beyond.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
I mean, you've been dating for three years. This is
her deal. It's one day the year where that you're
gonna have to work through some ick here and figure
it out. But I think if it's her birthday and
you really go high on her birthday, I think you
can dial back a little bit on the Christmas and
then you're kind of safe. Well I mean, which, okay,
what's a bigger president of Christmas present or birthday present?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You have to get out of your mind. You just
have to get out of your mind that if her
birthday was a month earlier, you could get her whatever
for a birthday and then whatever for Christmas. Get out
of your mind that you're buying it. At the same time,
what's the bigger gift? I would say, both of are
big gifts. You're talking to it little girl who loves
gifts overady?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
I know, And gift giving is a skill. Well, you
have no so which one goes first? I mean, that's
why that's the thing you have to kind of decide.
I think Christmas gift is bigger.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Yeah, I mean, but you're setting yourself. Gosh, he's in
a bune.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
This is not an easy one. Three years if she's
a pain in the ass. You know. I dated this
girl who I've told this story in the podcast for
I'm gonna do tell this again because I think it's
a good story. It's an example of how we can
never get it right. So I dated a girl. The
only day of the year that she was happy was
her birthday July fifteenth, I think July sixteenth, And so
(21:26):
I'm like, that's so weird, you know, why is she
only really happy on her birthday. One of those people
who didn't get loved on her birthday whatever. So I'm like,
because she was not happy a lot of the time,
I'm like, if I can make every day feel like
her birthday, this is going to be good. So I
wrote on three hundred and sixty five little pieces of
paper and put it in a Crown Royal bag, three
(21:48):
hundred and sixty five different little gifts. Earlier writer here
who you wanted to come up with? Eight for Hanukah.
I came up with three hundred and sixty five gifts
put in a bag, and I thought every morning she'd
wake up and she'd pull something out and we would
kind of celebrate her birthday. Awesome gift, right.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Look at you.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Yeah, here's where you go wrong though. So some of
these things were like walk on the beach, and some
of these things were like iPad okay, And she would
after like a week, she's pulling in and it's like
go get brunch and she's like, oh, where's the oh right.
So the ones that were not as good, she felt cheated.
(22:25):
And that was the end. That was like, if I
cannot this is the greatest gift ever. And to just
to write three hundred and sixty five things physically took forever,
and the fact that she's like disappointed when it wasn't
something that that led to like three hundred days of disappointment.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yeah, but there's a lot more into that one happy breath.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
But I tried. I'm like, poem, I don't want to
fucking poem. I want some new gloves, like like it
totally backfired.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Oh and it was so sweet. That was very romantic rock.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I know it didn't work else, but it was also
like a spotlight on this is what doesn't.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Work out well, you know what great test because it
was a great test.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
So this wasn't This is not a way I could
make her happy every day. It was like a day
that she was disappointed most days.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, that's a tough one.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
I know. I tried, and I feel like I can't
give that gift again. I feel like I wasted that gift.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah, that was a waste for You'll think of something else.
You're so romantic, I.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Will there we go, all right? Last one This is
from b d B d VR facebook page. You can
see where I'm going with this. How close to a
holiday can I break up with someone? Or how soon after.
Once you get into gifts, it's a little harsh to
pull the trigger soon after. But if I wait too long,
it looks like I'm trying to avoid the gift altogether.
(23:39):
Am I on the hook for the entire Thanksgiving through
New Year's Day? Cycle? If so, what is the least
amount I can spend on someone I have been dating
for four months?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
You know what, I'm I'm an old school here. I
just say, you cut the cord.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
No matter what, no gift, Christmas.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Eve, Christmas Thanksgiving, cut it.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I mean, yeah, I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I don't want you to stick around on the kindness
of your heart. Get out right.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
And then you're wasting Beady. I don't know if Beaty's
a guy or a girl. You're wasting their holiday season
for something that's not your intent. Is not good. You
should always date with positive intent. And if you're just
going through the motions to get to January, tewod.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
She's gonna know it.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
She's going to know it, and you're wasting your own
time too.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Yeah, both, you know what, Let her move on? You
move on.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I mean, look, yeah, this sounds like you don't want
to be alone. Bead and you're looking to sort of
tread water with this person until you get to the end. Business.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Use it as excused. Get let the poor girl go.
She'll go find somebody, and you'll find somebody eventually. It's
okay to be alone on the holiday.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Yeah, you can pull the trigger, pull the parachute on
this relationship, whatever you want. So we started to tease
this a couple months back. We didn't get to it
because I had all kinds of health stuff to get through.
But we're logic a podcast called cold Feet in the
New Year, and it's about people who called off engagements. Ah,
And I think that is one of the bravest, ballsiest
things that anybody can do, because a lot of people
just be like, I'll just go through that. I can't cancel.
(25:03):
We've already set out the invites and I'll just get
divorced later, you know, I pull.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
I've canceled a couple engagements.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Have you canceled weddings?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Though, No weddings, just engagement.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
That's different. Engagements. You'll do you keep the jewelry?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
No, I always give it back?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Oh you do?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
If you break up, if you're the one that breaks up,
you've got to give back the goods.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
So you said yes, not being sure, you just want
to wear the jewelry for a while.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
You know, I have I have a philosophy. The girl's
not sure until she walks down the aisle, you know,
when she gets exactly it's a test phase. Man.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
I think you're so you're moving to test phase, like
not the most romantic, but you might be right.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I mean, once you have that ring, you're still the girl.
I don't care what anybody says. A girl's not one
hundred percent in. She's watching him until that.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
I do because you act different as a fiance absolutely, huh.
And how he acts while you're planning the wedding and
how supportively is and everything. Oh, there's a lot of
variables there.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
That's going to be a fun show. I know.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
So if you because I'm trying, you know, I think
it's incredibly brave that night for the wedding, family's on
town and be like, I cannot do this is and
do it. A lot of people don't. I ask a
lot of people when people tell me they got divorced.
I don't ask why you got divorced. I say, when
did you know it wasn't going to last? Forever. Almost always.
(26:15):
It's like when you ask me or the wedding day,
it's always really early. But you were married for fourteen
years and had three kids. I didn't think it would
last forever.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Yeah, that's a tough one. It's true. You do know intuitively,
it's usually right before you do it, but you're like shit.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
And then you hope it'll get better and you're already
in and you know you want to get married and whatever.
It's a tough one. It is so bad how close
to the holiday. It does not matter. The second you
listen to this podcast.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Break up absolutely because you're.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Riding through this idea that like people need to be
with somebody during holiday season. They don't need to be
with somebody who doesn't love them during holiday season because
that's a terrible feeling and they can tell.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Yeah, I think that's worse. Do the manly thing, Yeah, do.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
The manly thing. Get ahead, start on the new year.
Get going to go to the Carrie's holiday party in
Nashville and the missiletone.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yeah, and let her go to some holiday parties. You
never know who she might find.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
All right, that's fun. This is our mailbag now, young lady,
this is your first time. On the podcast, we play
something called worst date or first date, So you have
to give us either the absolute worst date you've ever
been on or the single best first date you've ever
been on.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Your choice, Oh my gosh, I didn't let me prepare
for this, worst or the best.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
Best first dates?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
A first date has to be a first date or
the worst date. You know I'm gonna get I've probably
probably the best first date, but I'm probably gonna get
killed for this. Okay, you won't en't want to hear it? Yes,
And like I said, I'm not a romantic okay, but
you can buy my love.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
That is romance.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
My best first date. Honestly, he took me on my
very first date, and he took me to Louis Vuitton
and bought me a bag that's fantastic. And you know
that was a tough one because you know, how do
you compete with that? I mean, every girl loves a
Louis Vuitton.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Now, how far into are you dining at a mall
and there's a Louis Vuitton and you're like you want
to stop in? Or was it like right.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Away I thought we were just going for a lunch
date and.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
So it was daytime.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
It was daytime. He took me on a lunch date
and he's like, you want to walk around the mall?
And I said sure. He's like, let's go into Louis
and he's like, what do you think of that bag?
And you know lives it's nice and it's yours. So
I was, girls, are you going to say no?
Speaker 3 (28:31):
No, it's a good test of him and you Oh, yeah,
I think it's ballsy. But there was food involved.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
There was food involved, and I'll tell you you know,
I know a lot of people are really romantic and
he took me on a helicopter ride or did whatever.
But it depends on your love language. I think guys
invest and girls that they want to keep.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
So it showed me he was willing to invest in
me right away.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
He wanted to please you.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
He did.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
He wanted to show that he could handle you.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
It was a great date.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
There you go, that is a good first date.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
I was, Oh, I thought you'd pick I thought you'd
pick worst date.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
But now you know they're really lucky. I am so
picking on who I date.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Well, how do you know? How are you picky? I mean,
how do you how what is your screening process?
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Well, you talk to him a little bit, you ask
him questions.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
You know, what is your screening question? Were you asking?
Do you know about Louis? But do you know how
to pronounce their right away?
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Let them know I'm high maintenance. That way they can
bail out like this isn't the chick for me? So
I'm pretty honest.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Right up front, define high maintenance.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
I let him know, Hey, look I only do five star,
five star hotels.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
I only for fly first question, you're not flying Spirit.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I'm not flying Spirit. I just think you should know
I am. You know, I like to live a certain
way and that might not be for you. And I've
had some guys go that's fair. I can't afford you.
I said, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
I dated a woman once who she had like forty
million dollars something like that.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
No, not nice, because she never wanted anybody to think
that anybody was dating that. People be like, he's with
her for her money. So I had to pay for everything.
So she'd order it like it was like give me
the fourteen at dinner. Everything, and she'd be like, see,
he doesn't care about mine. In her house, she was
perfectly normal and calm, but out in the world it
(30:18):
was the most expensive, miserable. Okay, I'm like, I just
cannot keep up here.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
No, she's got that much money and come on.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Yeah, no, she didn't want It was a test of me.
It was a test of people around her. So I,
you know, we would go to dinner in her Bentley
and I we'd park it and I would have to
Then I'm like, this sucks. No, yeah, she was poor.
I would have liked her.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
You know what, I'm a big I'm not a big
believer of dating below your pay grade as a woman.
So I only once I started dating guys that made
more money than me. Yeah, it worked out better.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
Eventually, it does come into play it because he needs
to feel like the provider. He needs to feel like
the man. He needs to Oh.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Yeah, I've dated guys that were like, I can't, I
can't date you. Your your car is worth my house? I said, fair.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
Your love languages gifts.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
My love language is everything. The poor guy, your love
language is more like gifts love attention. You know, ask aimation,
what about you?
Speaker 3 (31:21):
I believe eighty five percent of men have the same
love language, and that loud language, and that is words words.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
I was gonna say sex.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
No, we need the physical touch because we don't get
the words. Yeah, the only way we know if you
like us is if you touch us. But if you
told us that you find us interesting and desirable and
all those kind of things, we would need a lot
less touch.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Ah, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
We don't get the words. We go, we pick you up,
we tell you look beautiful, and we might get like
a thank you. We don't hear anything coming back. Really,
he could tell what I'm thinking now. We can't like you.
Guys don't say a lot of stuff. So when we
do get the words, the positive words, not the smack
on the nose, the pat on the nose that you
did good here. Usually the women only speak up when
we fuck up.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's true, that's true. I think having four kids, I'm
pretty good at words and touch because I you know,
I just guys like a little. I feel like it's
a little bit of mothering, but not mothering, like, oh,
you're the greatest.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
And you have four daughters.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
I have three daughters and a son.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Oh, three daughters and a son. Do the daughters take
their cues from mom's dating habits?
Speaker 2 (32:20):
They do. I told my twenty three sorry for their boyfriends.
I'm like, look, find a guy that has a good
work ethic and you guys can grow rich together.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
You know, I agree with you too, many of you
guys under thirty, And we talked about this earlier. You're
not busting your ass to get the money to get
the girl because you have video games important.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Oh no, that's huge, just when my twenty five year
old the video games and marijuana is a big thing.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
I know. To get your shit together, guys, the juice
is worth a squeeze.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yep, so true.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
All right, how can everybody find you and follow you
and your dating adventures?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I am well, I am starting my own podcast, as
you know. There you go as well as you can
find me on TikTok mom, on apolog jEdit Crystal and yeah,
I've had a great time amazing on.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
A apologetic Crystal.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Yeah mom, I have a couple of have like five
or six fake accounts. The ones who know, oh my god,
can burner account. The women who know how to use
the TikTok.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Yeah, they they're killing it.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yeah, you know it's new to me. I've only been
on it like four months. And those the other accounts
are just fakes that somebody else has made and they're
trying to catfish guys with.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Istok are guys on TikTok?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
That much guys are on TikTok? I would say sixty
percent of my followers so far. I'm trying to get
more women. But you know, women are tough.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
They're tough crowd because they're going to be judgmental and jealous.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Well especially for me. I'm in my you know, I'm
fifty one and I look forty.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
I hope, I know you're you say here, I like this,
not all. Most of what anybody else comments about you
is what you look like. Yeah, okay, So why can't
you talk about it? That's my point.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
If other people are like, oh my god, she's pretty,
and she's pretty, I'll give her that. There's no cameras here,
just take my word for it. Why can't you say
it out loud? You know, you could say you're smart,
you could say you're fun, you could say you're hard working,
But you can't say the thing that everybody else is coming.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
I can't. You're a narcissist if you.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Do, I get it.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
And that word is so overused.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I know every woman, he's a narcist. Now, he just
didn't like.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
You, and same for her though, Hey I'm a confident.
Check over here.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
There was somebody in this podcast studio yesterday and she
knew I had surgery recently, and she goes, you almost
look hot. You look good, You almost look hot. And
I go, is that my ceiling almost look hot? She goes, yeah,
probably probably not going to get above that. I was like,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
It's funny because when you told me you didn't do video,
I was like, he's a nice looking guy. The glasses,
he's got a cool vibe. Yeah, he pulls off the
gray hair wonderfully. I'm surprised that you don't film.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
See none of my listeners knew I had gray hair.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Well you have like the sexy kind of Richard gear
gray hairs.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
You do it well bright, He's like ninety all right,
he no, everybody I do live shows people now us
You're awesome. Thank you as far as us like, share, follow,
Please review this podcast. Your reviews still after five hundred
and something shows, your reviews still mean a lot to
me and in the podcasting ecosystem, shoot us an email.
(35:16):
Great Looad Debate at gmail dot com. If you have questions, comments, thoughts,
things for Christmas party, advice, gifts for Crystal, we will
pass those along. Go to Great Loovedebate dot com. I
know I say this every year. I've had more retirement
tours than Elton John. But we may may be doing
(35:36):
more live shows. We almost certainly are doing the cruise
thing that I can ask you all the time, the
Great Love to boat. So go to Great Lovedebate dot com.
Information tickets in the new year. So again, if you're
listening to this in summer of twenty twenty eight, you
missed the Great Love to Bote because, as always at
the Great Love Debate, we never stop making love. See
(35:58):
you next time.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
The Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, the
Great
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Love Debate, It's the Great Love to be
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