Untamed Ember
Welcome to Untamed Ember, the podcast where pleasure is your birthright, curiosity is your compass, and unlearning shame is part of the foreplay. I’m Dr. Misty, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor, clinically licensed in Washington State, Maryland, Virginia, and D.C., radically inclusive educator, and your guide for reclaiming pleasure without outdated “shoulds,” shame spirals, or performative nonsense. Here, we don’t do cold, clinical sex talk or vague, fluffy advice. We do real, unfiltered conversations about desire, intimacy, identity, and the glorious mess of being a human with a body and a brain. This space is queer-affirming, body-positive, kink-aware, and free of the judgment that keeps so many people silent about what they really want. Each week, we peel back layers of cultural conditioning, explore polyamory and kink dynamics, and get playfully honest about what turns us on (in every sense). We also dig into nervous system–friendly ways to make pleasure part of daily life, without guilt, pressure, or pants (unless you like them). So if you are ready to reclaim pleasure, rewrite your internal scripts, and laugh a little while turning yourself on to your own life... Welcome to Untamed Ember. Let’s get curious.
Episodes
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Power exchange is sexy when it’s chosen. Power over is toxic when it’s stolen. In this episode, we talk about the difference between ethical dominance and coercion, why consent makes power dynamics hotter, and how trauma and ND nervous systems experience surrender. You’ll learn how to spot red flags, practice ethical domi...
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You’ve heard of sub drop — the crash after intense play. But tops crash too. In this episode, we explore the neurochemistry of “after”: why dopamine, adrenaline, and oxytocin swings can leave both tops and subs feeling weepy, anxious, dr...
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Switches get a bad rap as “indecisive” — but the truth is, switching between roles is a skill, and it comes with unique consent challenges. In this episode, we explore what it means to be a switch, how to navigate role changes without confusion or coercion, and why nervous system regulation matters when moving from dominance to s...
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Consensual non-consent (CNC) is one of the edgiest and most misunderstood areas of kink. Done well, it’s cathartic and erotic. Done poorly, it becomes coercion. In this episode, I break down the ethics of CNC: how to negotiate clearly, check capacity, and always have clear off-ramps in place. We’ll talk nervous system safety, why...
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“Enthusiastic consent” sounds great — but what if your body doesn’t do loud, verbal yeses? For neurodivergent folks, trauma survivors, and anyone who struggles with words in the moment, enthusiasm might look like presence, softness, or subtle signals. In this episode, we unpack what enthusiastic consent really means, why v...
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Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. Personal Responsibility in Consensual Kink. If you’ve been in kink spaces, you’ve heard the acronyms — but what do they mean for nervous-system safety? In this episode, I break down SSC, RACK, and PRICK/SSICK, explore where they succeed and where they fall short, and ...
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ADHD meds can be a lifesaver for focus, productivity, and stability — but no one tells you what they might do to your sex life. Lowered desire, delayed arousal, harder-to-reach orgasms… it’s a thing, and it’s not your fault. In this episode, I talk about how stimulant medications interact with sexual response, why neurodiv...
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You want to feel connected, but suddenly you’re gone — body present, mind floating near the ceiling tiles. Dissociation during sex can feel confusing, shameful, or even like proof something’s wrong with you. But here’s the truth: dissociation isn’t failure, it’s protection. In this episode, I break down why nervous systems...
Ever wondered why detailed negotiation, safe words, and scene structure don’t kill the vibe in kink—they actually make it hotter? For neurodivergent and trauma-impacted folks, clear boundaries and predictable roles can feel like a nervous system exhale. In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty unpacks how structured intimacy (like kink and BDSM) creates real safety, reduces dissociati...
Ever sat in your car outside an event, heart racing, stomach in knots, every cell in your body screaming don’t go in, but guilt dragged you anyway? In this episode, Dr. Misty dismantles the toxic myth that keeping every commitment equals moral worth. You’ll learn the neuroscience behind why saying no is an act of nervous system protection, how to spot your body’s “quit signals” before bu...
What happens when your body aches for more touch than your partner, friend, or family can give—or when you crave space while someone else longs to connect? In this radically honest episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty dives deep into the science, shame, grief, and negotiation of “touch hunger” and mismatched touch needs. Discover why touch is a real biological need, how neurodivergence, t...
Is waiting agony for you? Do you feel anxious when a conversation goes quiet, or does time vanish when you’re hyperfocused? In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty unpacks how ADHD and neurodivergent brains experience time differently—why pauses can feel like punishment, and why mismatched tempos create conflict, shame, and communication breakdowns. You’ll get a science-backed, radic...
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Are you haunted by old stories in your sex life—shutdowns, freeze responses, numbness, or shame that shows up right when you most want to be present? In this episode, Dr. Misty takes you deeper than talk therapy, into the places your body holds ancestral scripts a...
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Ever notice that right when things get steamy, your brain turns into a Twitter feed of insecurity? Welcome to the world of parts work, sex edition. In this episode, Dr. Misty dives headfirst into Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and how your inner critic, perfectio...
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Ever wondered why your brain is a full “hell yes” but your body suddenly ghosts the moment things heat up? Or why your nervous system sabotages even the sexiest situations? In this no-holds-barred episode, Dr. Misty goes full trauma nerd on the vagus nerve—that misunderstood h...
Ever had sex with a partner who was physically present but clearly somewhere else? Welcome to the “What the Fuck Just Happened?” club. This episode is for every partner who’s ever wondered why their neurodivergent, trauma-impacted, or just beautifully complex lover seemed to disappear mid-connection—while their body kept going through the motions.
Dr. Misty (Untamed Ember) breaks down wh...
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Ever felt like your body was sabotaging you during sex, even when your mind and heart were all-in? In this episode, Dr. Misty unpacks the wild world of somatic therapy and why your body’s “weird” responses are actually wisdom in action—not dysfunction. We’ll break down h...
Ever burst into tears during a massage or felt grief bubble up when you’re just trying to sleep? You’re not broken—and you’re definitely not alone. In this episode, Dr. Misty pulls back the curtain on fascia: your body’s secret emotional archivist.
We’ll break down what fascia actually is (think: way sexier than raw chicken), why it hoards every microtrauma and shutdown, and how those my...
Why does your brain turn into a haunted house the minute you finally feel safe enough to rest? Why do so many trauma-impacted, neurodivergent adults struggle with sleep—even when nothing is “wrong” on the outside? Welcome to Untamed Ember, where Dr. Misty dives headfirst into the Polyvagal Paradox—that infuriating reality where your body refuses to relax, no matter how perfect your sleep...
When someone in authority told you "your body isn't really yours," that messaging didn't just live in your mind—it rewired your nervous system. In this revolutionary episode, Dr. Misty exposes how high-control systems, particularly religious environments, strategically target sexuality as their primary mechanism of control. We dive deep into the neurobiology of religious sexual condition...
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