SheJack / OJ / Larry the Cable Guy

After laughing at Sheila Jackson Lee doubling down on dumb, we get the breaking news that The Juice has died ... which ended up being part of our conversation with Larry the Cable Guy.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Scott vordiez Lucy, I'm sorry ifwe didn't cover this to anyone satisfaction earlier
in the week. And maybe youmissed this. There was a solar eclipse
on Monday. Did you hear aboutthat? I heard something. Yeah,
I guess there was a solar eclipseon Monday. Shut up about the sun,
all right? Shut up about thesun? All right. Well that

(00:22):
I'm hearkening back to the solar eclipsebecause it gives me an opportunity to Now,
maybe you did miss this, andI can't have you miss this.
It's too delightful. It gives mean opportunity to hearken back to what a
politician said to a group of highschool students at an outdoor rally leading up

(00:49):
to the solar eclipse. And Isaid, a moment ago, I said,
this was the dumbest statement by apublic official this week. And then
we had some words of our sponsors, and Jim Rose said, now,
what about Kamala Harris saying that womendidn't have brackets until just two years ago?
I said, oh no, no, she said that last week.

(01:11):
This is a new week. AndCongresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee of Texas got together
with a bunch of school kids anddecided to noted astronomer Sheila Jackson. Lee
starts talking to these high school students. They're not kindergarteners, they're high school

(01:33):
students about you know, the moonand the suns provide unique light and energy
so that you have the energy ofthe moon at night. And sometimes you've
heard the word full moon. Sometimesyou need to take the opportunity just to
come out and see a full moon. Is that complete rounded circle which is

(01:53):
made up mostly of gases, Andthat's why the push the question is why
and how could we as humans liveon the moon? Are the gas is
such that we could do that?All right? She actually said more than
this. I should probably play therest of it and then go back to

(02:15):
that part because I could talk foran hour about what she just said.
The reason I'm playing this for youagain, though, is because now she's
speaking out about this, blaming othersfor what she just said, which to
recap is the moon is a full, complete circle full of gases and makes

(02:38):
you wonder how humans could live there. But the gases are such that it's
okay for the life for the humansto live on gases. I said the
Moon's made up mostly of gases,as is she What was I actually hadn't
even heard the rest of this.There's twenty one more seconds of this,

(03:00):
she say after this, the Sunis a mighty powerful heat. That yes
it is, Yes it is,Sheila, I tell you what we learned

(03:23):
that in advanced physics. I think, is the Sun some mighty powerful heat.
Shut up about the Sun? Shutup about the Sun. What else?
It's almost impossible to the sun almost. I'm so glad to hear this

(03:47):
again because when I tell you whatshe's saying now about all of this,
it makes it as if it's possibleto make it more funny. It makes
it more funny. Son, isa mighty powerful heat which makes it almost
impossible to go near the size.And you will see in a moment,

(04:10):
or not a moment, you'll seein a couple of years that NASA is
going back to the Moon. Okay, all right, Uh, that's that
is absolutely brilliant. Dribble. Thatthe the dribble dribbling from the mouth of

(04:33):
Congressoman Sheila Jackson Lee is outstanding.So what did we learn there? The
Moon is made up mostly of gases, which it isn't Everyone knows it's made
of cheese. The Moon is madeup of gases, which makes you wonder

(04:54):
how humans could live there. Butthey can live there because the gases there
are such an makes it more manageable. Now the Sun, well that's a
mighty powerful heat, almost impossible togo near it. And then here in
a moment, I mean two yearsfrom now, no, yesterday, what

(05:15):
time is it, NASA is goingto go back to the Moon. All
right, So that's fantastic. Thisis again she's explaining this to a group
of high school students, and theyhad the courtesy not to stand up and
go, Congressman, what are youtalking about? Well, I'm not the

(05:38):
only one to have had a lotof fun with the Democratic congressman from Texas
and her statements about the hot sunand the gassy moon and all the rest
of it. Several people have takento social media to have some fun with
these comments. Probably the most ridiculousstatements made by an elected of fish in

(06:00):
Congress, since I can't remember hisname. There was a guy in a
committee hearing who was really concerned aboutthe American military building up a lot of
bases on the island of Guam.Lucy did you ever hear this? Do
you remember this? I don't thinkI do. I wonder if we got

(06:24):
the clip in here. Oh Ido, Thanks Chris, he'd put these
things in here and save him forever. I'll have to look up and see
who the member of Congress was.But the concern was is that the American
military was putting all these military baseson the island of Guam. On one

(06:44):
side of Guam. Yeah, myfear is that the whole island will become
so overly populated that it will tipover and capsize. We don't anticipate that,

(07:04):
we don't. This is a Thiswas in a House Armed Services Committee
hearing twenty ten. The speaker therewas Congressman Hank Johnson of Georgia. Maybe
he meant that it would tip economically. I mean, surely, I appreciate

(07:28):
your attempt to try and say,well, maybe what he meant. No,
he thought that the island would justtip over. It becomes so overly
populated, it would tip over andcapsize. And he said this to Admiral
Robert Willard, who was the headof the US Pacific pleat Pacific Fleet.

(07:49):
Have you guys thought if you putall this everything on one side of the
island, it get too heavy andlike a seesaw, it was just flip
over the island and cause it tocapsize. Now that was some grade a

(08:11):
stupidity here. Now I have togive some grace. I know I've asked
some dumb questions, I've made somedumb comments. We all have. But
the difference, I think is likewhen I and I can't think of an

(08:31):
example, but I I'm sure attwo o'clock in the morning, I'll wake
up and go, oh yeah,when you said that. I know I've
said things that are absolutely about thedumbest thing anyone's ever heard. But I
promise you when I do that,and the next time I do that,
we'll do it again. I'm goingto point it out, and I'm gonna
laugh at myself just as much asI am laughing at these members of Congress.

(08:58):
Now, Jackson Lee was given theopportunity to laugh at herself. Here
a congressman, he said that themoon was made of gas. It's not
that the sun's a mighty heat andalmost impossible to go near. Anything you
want to say in response to this, well, here's what she says.

(09:22):
She says, obviously, I misspokeand meant to say the sun. But
as usual, Republicans are focused onstupid things instead of stuff that really matters.
What can I say, though foolishthinkers lust for stupidity, Republicans should
be focusing on issues like prenatal care, building, more affordable housing, and

(09:46):
more reduction of student loan debt.As President, Joe Biden is also I
care more about these children who wouldnot have experienced the eclipse in this enthusiastic
manner, and I or about protectingthe rights of women and children than engaging
in this senseless dialogue. Ma'am.The only senseless dialogue is coming from you,

(10:11):
Like the kids couldn't have I wentout on Monday afternoon and experienced the
eclipse. How was I able todo that without Sheila Jackson Lee there?
She says, like, you know, if not for me showing up,
we wouldn't have had this eclipse forthe for these children to see. These
are high school kids, and youtalk to him about stupid stuff like what
the moon is made out of andyou're getting it wrong. Neat light and

(10:33):
energy so that you have the energyof the moon at night. Yeah,
now, so she talked. Shesays, I meant the sun when she
talked about being made of gases.Well, let's explore this idea that she
misspoke and she thought now she wastalking about the sun, which she just
said at night. And sometimes you'veheard the word full moon. H sometimes

(10:56):
you need to take the opportunity justto come out and see a full moon.
Is that complete rounded circle which ismade up mostly of gases? All
right, So she's talking about themoon. She mentions the moon being at
night. She talks about coming outto see that complete circle, full moon
made up mostly of gases. Andthat's why the question a question is why

(11:20):
or how could we as humans liveon the moon. Now, see here
she says, well, I meantthe sun. Okay, let's say that
she's I mean, we're idiots forthinking she's talking about the moon. Here
she's clearly talking about the sun,which now is her questioning whether or not
humans could live on the sun.She says, she's talking about the sun.

(11:43):
Here, we're idiots for thinking she'stalking about the moon, which makes
you wonder how humans could live onthe sun. Either way you look at
this, this woman is not justI mean, we use the term blithering
to describe only one thing, andthat is a blithering idiot. I've never

(12:09):
had a blithering ham sandwich. Ihave never said I like that iPhone?
Is it a blithering iPhone? Blitheringis only a descriptive term that we use
to describe the highest caliber of idiocythat we see. Either way, you

(12:30):
look at what she's saying there.This woman is a blithering idiot, but
not nearly as dumb as the peoplewho elect her time and time again to
represent them in Congress as a Democratout of Texas. But God bless her,
what tremendous entertainment. Hey, it'sThursday. She said this on Monday.

(12:52):
I'm more entertained about this today thanI was a few days ago.
Scott Lucy, have you ever saidsomething that was completely wrong? Yeah?
And then what happens. I laughat myself and I say that I was
wrong. But if you don't somebodyimmediately, especially if you say it publicly,
somebody in your friend group or inyour administration comes to you and says

(13:18):
you made a mistake. What yousaid is going to be ridiculed. You
need to immediately correct that and bedone with it. And it's done.
So either nobody corrected her or shejust decided that she was right until it
blew up. Like I said,I've said things wrong before. I've also

(13:46):
been in circumstances where I know thatI'm talking two people radio. Otherwise I
know I'm saying stuff. I canhear words coming out of my mouth,
but my brain is going scott Spinout of this. You don't know what
you're talking about. You're not makinga point. You've been talking for a

(14:09):
long time now you're not even comingclose to making a point. You forgot
what your original point might have been, and now you are so lost that
this is the biggest, dumbest bitof rambling that anyone has ever done.
Shut up. And what I usedto do when I was a fledgling young
broadcaster was I would keep powering through, hoping at some point I would find

(14:35):
a point. At some point herein the last decade or so, now
that I'm an old, fledgling broadcaster, I've had to call myself out on
it, and I'll do it now. I will just willingly, because it
happens your mind starts to wander.I mean, I don't know how many
times I've talked about illegal immigration,but sometimes I just get into it and

(14:56):
I just start my brain's like,all right, we've done this before and
diet and go. And then I'llget into it and my brain starts thinking
what am I gonna do for lunchtoday? Soup sounds good? And then
I'll suddenly like kind of go,hey, wait, wait, wait,
you're talking on the radio. ThenI'll come back and I'll be like,
and that's why the goat is Andthen I you know, when you really

(15:18):
are losing control of your point,you just start getting louder. And I
used to keep going with it.Now I just stop and go, what
are you talking about? Laugh atmyself and move on. Certainly not going
to do that now though. NewsRadio eleven ten kfab Wow, yeah,

(15:39):
we do have some breaking news forreels. OJ Simpson just died. You're
laughing, No, I'm not laughing. It is about the most OJ Simpson
thing he could do. Right now? What else does he have to do?

(16:00):
I tell you what I need.What I need to do. I
need to turn off golf here inthe studio. Why am I getting distracted?
Oh? Yeah, I got theMaster's on. Yeah, I just
got the news here from our partnerswith twenty four to seven News OJ Simpson
has died. His family made theannouncement moments ago said he has passed away
after a battle with cancer. Didwe know the juice had cancer? I

(16:25):
was not aware. I know hehas carpal tunnel. What I'm holding my
hand like I'm holding a knife.You do that much stabbing, it's gonna
have some issues with the hand andthe wrist. Seventy six years old,

(16:47):
Oj, you talk about just oneof the strangest American stories, someone who
was the best foot ballplayer on theplanet. And in addition to that,
I mean, yeah, OJ Simpson, you put the rock in his hands

(17:07):
at usc you get you two thousandyards. He played with the Buffalo first
player in NFL history. If I'mnot mistaken to rush for two thousand yards
in a season. I mean,the guy was an incredible running back.
But you think about other running backsof his vintage, and you know,
Earl Campbell was no slouch, LarryZonka, he was pretty good, Jack

(17:32):
Riggins. I mean, so theseguys were really fantastic running backs. George
Rogers really good running backs. Butwhy did OJ Simpson get into the superstar
stratosphere ahead of all these other guysI just mentioned who Lucy's never heard of,
because he had a great smile andwinning personality, and people just loved

(17:57):
him. They loved his story ofovercoming Ricketts. As a kid, he
had braces on his legs, andthen, like Forrest Gump, becomes one
of the great runners of all time. The guy can run with the football,
he could smile, he could laugh, had a great personality. Like,
what are we gonna do with thisguy? He's done playing football?
I bought some hurt Srenekar commercials.We could have him running through the airport,

(18:21):
jumping over luggage racks. Yeah,it'd be great. What else can
we do with Oj Simpson? Oh, this is a stretch, It'll never
work. Really, what are wetalking about? Well, remember that TV
show Police squad Leslie Nielsen is talkingabout doing that as a full blown movie.
Do you think Oj Simpson could playone of the fellow police officers in

(18:42):
this the homicide detective or Lieutenant Nordberg. I don't know. Let's see,
he was great. So he's incommercials, he's in movies, he's doing
football announcing. He could show upanywhere with his Heisman trophy. Strike opposed

(19:03):
with the kids, kids come runningfrom all over the country, Go get
their pictures taken with OJ Simpson,Go get an autograph from OJ Simpson,
and then faded into obscurity. Wenever heard from him again. Just seeing
if you're paying attention, the lastguy on earth that anyone would have expected

(19:26):
would suddenly be like, oh,what's going on? Looks like the police
helicopters are following a car down theLos Angeles Freeways and there's a white Bronco
and the media says, yeah,inside this white bronco we believe is a

(19:49):
football hero OJ Simpson, who policewant to chat with since his ex wife
and her companion had just been founddead, and OJ Simpson's the suspect now
in double murder. If you wouldhave taken a poll of the American people
in nineteen ninety what year would thathave been? Four? Or five?

(20:15):
And then that I mean the trialended in ninety five or six, I
think ninety five, So we're talkingabout like nineteen ninety four when all this
happened. If you would have takena poll of the American people, who
do you think is least likely tobe found guilty of double murder? To
be charged with double murder? O? J. Simpson wouldn't even not even

(20:38):
close. People would have figured MotherTeresa would have probably popped off and killed
a few people before OJ Simpson.They're like, who do you think is
just suddenly just kill a couple ofpeople? O? J. Simpson or
doctor Ruth Westheimer. Now, doctorRuth probably I could see that where their

(20:59):
bare hand just strangle a couple ofpeople, But not OJ. Ohja Nah,
So then OJ totally didn't kill thosepeople. Suddenly he's found not guilty
in all of this. By theway, police have gone on to spend

(21:22):
years looking for other suspects, andby that I mean no one. Well,
he was looking for other suspects too, not just the police. He
was not going to rest until hefound the real killers and then went out
and played golf for the next severalyears. Maybe he just found them.
They could be out on the golfcourse. They don't know. Oh,
you don't think OJ died of cancer. You think he finally found the real

(21:45):
killers and got killed. No,you said he would not rest until he
found the killers or killer. Yeah, well, oh, I see what
you're saying. He can rest nowhe found them and took it to the
grave. Yeah, it turns outit was Ted dancing. You're like,

(22:07):
what, But as stupid as thatsounds, that's as likely as it was
in nineteen ninety four that OJ Simpsonhas suddenly charged with double murder. Ted
Danson is one of the best TVstars of the era, and we looked
at that and said, you've gotto be kidding me. O J.
Simpson charged with double murder? What'snext? What are you gonna say,

(22:30):
Like Bill Cosby's out there assaulting peopleagainst their will. This is no possible
way. This could never happen.O J. Simpson. O. J.
Simpson dead from cancer at the ageof seventy six. This just in
I didn't even mention how he finallywent to jail. Do you even remember

(22:53):
what the circumstances were that caused himto go to jail. He accused some
guy at a hotel. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm
stealing his stuff, like some footballmemorabilia, like football cards and stuff.
I guy stole my stuff. Sothey broke into his hotel room and threatened
to kill the guy from the guywho says, I never killed anybody,

(23:17):
but I will absolutely murder this guylike I like I murdered the UCLA defense
back in nineteen seventy six. SoI was gonna say, well, guilty
or not? That Suregavin gave himsome street cred. They loved him in
prison. O J. Simpson sayshe's gonna kill you. You kind of
take him seriously. They loved himin prison. There are guys in there.

(23:41):
They're like, what are you infor? I was eating babies.
They're like, whoa, you're crazy. Well, I want to introduce you
to your cellmate. OJ Simpson.You gotta be kidding me? Is great?
OJ OJ was a hero. Peoplecouldn't believe they're hanging out there with
OJ Simpson. What do you thinkthose late night campfire stories were like?

(24:03):
There in the prison. They gotcampfires of prison, right, they're making
smores like, Ojay, come on, it's just us man. He's like,
who's gonna believe us? Right?He's in jail for you know,
grand theft auto. This guy overhere, you already met him. He
ate babies. Just tell us youdid it right? I mean you totally
you killed those people, right?I wonder seventy six years old, cancer,

(24:30):
OJ Simpson dead. You know whoI would love to talk to right
now? Uh? Denise Brown?That's Nicole Brown, Simpson's sister, who

(24:51):
I last talked to about a yearafter OJ was found not guilty. I
was a student journalist at the UniverseNebraska Carney, not Carney State. We're
a university, now, get ittogether. And Denise Brown came and spoke
to a student group at Carney andhad a chance to chat with her.
And you know who doesn't think anyof this stuff is funny with OJ,

(25:15):
Nicole Brown, Simpson's sister. Ican't imagine I would feel that any of
this was funny if I was thisclose to it. No, So let's
give a moment here to think.I wonder what Denise Brown is thinking right
now because someone had to tell her, or she walked by a TV,

(25:36):
looked up and went huh, openedup these Zonker's custom woods inbox. And
Ryan says, you should ask Larrythe cable guy about OJ Simpson dying.
I'm sure he'll have an interesting perspective. Oh well, cable guy has got
an interesting perspective about everything, andI know he will about this. Yeah,

(25:56):
we'll chat with him about that.Les email Scott atkfab dot com and
says, what about the Goldmans?It was their civil suit that found him.
I've had a couple of emails saythat oj Got was found guilty or
was convicted of murder. He wasfound liable, not criminally, but civilly

(26:18):
criminal courts said we don't think youkilled those people. The civil courts,
which is a different standard of proof, said maybe you did, maybe you
didn't, but we don't think anyoneelse did, so you're responsible. He
had to pay a bunch of money. Linda says, was oj in jail
when he died? No, hewasn't in jail. He got out years

(26:40):
ago. It is my esteemed pleasureto welcome onto the program someone that I
not only have laughed at like everyoneelse has for the better part of the
last twenty five thirty years now,but I'm also honored to call him a
friend. He is involved in thePBR event and in Lincoln this Saturday night,

(27:02):
it's Larry the cable guy. Werun our kids up to the Walmart
last year to see the Christmas Villageupper. We wasn't there more than ten
minutes. Somebody was already running ameth lab out of the gingerbread house.
Hell. I mean, I loveshopping a Walmart, but dad going has
like a myth maker's paradise, isn'tthere right? Walmart's the only store in

(27:25):
the world you can go and seesomebody buying sixteen bucks of the cough syrup
and some garden hose. Nobody thinksthat's weird. Good morning, Larry the
cable guy. I don't know howmany more Walmart joke I can write,
man, thirty years of it.We smoked, Well, you spend less

(27:45):
time there. I went up thereone time and they said, you think
our prices are low? You wantto check out the forehead of the case.
There's always Joe, always Larry.I love having you on the show.
Thank you very much for doing this. Now, before we talk about

(28:07):
this event on Saturday, we justabout fifteen minutes ago responded to the breaking
news here that OJ Simpson has died. And I'm telling Lucy here in the
studio that I mean, for footballand comedy fans for years, O J.
Simpson is about the last I mean, you thought Mother Teresa murdered two
people before OJ Simpson would, Andthe fact that he's dead now at seventy

(28:30):
six about the most OJ Simpson thinghe could have done. He's still surprising
me. Man, It's I'll tellyou one of the biggest news stories in
the history of our country. That'sa fact. And well he's hoping to
hear Jesus. That's all I know. Yeah, I mean, what in
the world you know that now thatyou see the things afterwards, all the

(28:53):
documentaries talking to certain lawyers, Imean, come on, that's uh now
that you kind of don't know whatwas going on. I mean I saw
a video today. You know,he passed away to the thrown up,
but he got interviewed from some reporterand then she goes and then when the

(29:15):
interview was over, with the camerasoff, we still had one running.
He does this and thought it wasfunny and he opened she would turn the
corner and he came out of acloset with a knife, but he was
like pretending he was stabbing her.And no, you like going boy for
somebody that that happened to your wife, your mother, your mom's kids to

(29:38):
have literally do something like that.And if no remortion beat that's funny,
that's a problem. But you know, uh, the nothing that you can't
see anything good about it. Ifyou're gonna say now that the years have
gone by, if anything good cameout of it. You got some great
references to it on Sun Filled episode. That's right, Am I still allowed

(30:03):
to laugh at Lieutenant Nordberg and theNaked Gun movies. He's great in those
movies. Oh absolutely. I meanthose are still like those just Tonic movies
as long as you gotta sit toyou, but you can laugh at them
stuff. But yeah, that wasa tazy thing. That That's a chapter
now that's gone into the annals ofhistory. That Holy smokes, that was.

(30:26):
I mean, it's almost like,people go, do you remember where
you were when nine to eleven happens? Almost everybody knows. Do you remember
where you were anyway? Fresh rememberwhere you were when your first kid was
born? You know? And thenyou go, where were you when the
news broke on? OJ? Everybodyknows. We're all staring at TVs watching
that white Bronco going down the freeway. Insane? Absolutely, that was.

(30:51):
That was. That was a greatsign till episode he said he wants to
see his fish, him to seehis fish, Larry, Let's turn our
attention to something coming up here.No, the other news. What here's
the other news? Uh? Theguy that sings Sweet Caroline? What's his

(31:15):
name Neil Diamond. Neil Diamond saidin an interview the other day that he
wrote that song Sweet Caroline about CarolineKennedy. Did you know that I have
heard that? Yeah? And thenHeil last night did he wrote the song
Crackling Rosie after he sit next toDonald on an airplane while she was eating

(31:37):
pork crime. Neil said that,Wow, just broke breaking news, Crackling
Rosie. We're just before we goon the radio here, we're talking about
our kids. I gotta tell youthat my daughter, Grace, was almost

(31:59):
named Jacqueline Rose, but I ruinedit because I was always walking around singing,
Ah, Jacqueline Rose, make mea sandwich. You know. My
wife said, all right, we'renot gonna put up with this for the
rest of our lives. And soJacqueline Rose became Grace because I couldn't make
a stupid song out of it.So, yeah, that was probably that

(32:19):
was probably a good she would havehad to live with the Jacqueline Rose get
absolutely yeah, just for me.All right, let's talk about a different
name. I want to hear aboutmister Cooley. Yeah, mister Cooley,
By the way, I haven't talkingyou so long. Congrats and all your
success. They're at the station,and I think I'm finally getting to the
point where I can finally tell you, apart from Jim Rose, if you

(32:45):
hear something you like that was me. If not, that was definitely crackly
right sound exactly. I know wedidn't realize that when we put us together,
but you know whatever, I've beenlistening to Todd and Tyler for years.
I still don't know was who sometimes, So that's whatever. I just

(33:05):
hope that we're entertaining you with whateveris said. And if you hear something
that entertained you, that was me, mister Cooley, who's that? Yeah,
listen, we got you know.Let me just give you a background
on this. For years, Iwas involved in the Professional bull Riders.
I sponsored Tata Porter, who wasa buddy mine I had. Then I
had a PRC, a rodeo teamwhere I had the guys, had a

(33:29):
few guys in the national finals.The road would get her done, and
so I was involved with that ina while. And then when Tata retired,
I got into bucking bulls and Ihad seven or eight bucking bulls that
I had in the Professional bull Ridersand one buckle for Bull of the Year
on Chicken on a Chain Jeff Robinsonand I go own that bull back in

(33:52):
the day, and then I gotout of it, and my buddy Brandon
Krik was trying to put golf,and you know Brandon, Brandon's golf golf,
So I took all my sponsorship moneykind of pulled out of that.
And I still do Brandon, butmy boys started bull riding learning how the
bull ride about seven months ago,so man, I just love it.

(34:15):
So I got back into it.When did the thirtyth anniversary of the Professional
Bull Riders their big awards ceremony thatworked not long ago, So I got
back into it and I got somemore bulls. But anyway, I got
a bull named mister Cooley and he'sforty seven and two in the PBR's one
of the better bulls in there.I'm very proud of it. And we

(34:37):
got a Velocity Tour bull Riders VelocityTour, which is just a step down
from the PBR. But some ofthose guys in it have been in and
they've been out. I know edn Comnus, I think is riding and
that who was one of the bestbull riders of all time. I think
he'll be there, and so we'veentered mister Cooley. Mister Cooley's going to

(34:58):
be the bounty bull down there andLincoln at the Pinnacle Bank Arena, and
whoever wins the event will get onhave a chance if they want to,
which I'm sure they will. It'sten thousand dollars, and if they can
ride mister Cooley for eight seconds,then we will award him a ten thousand
dollars bonus for riding mister Cooley.But it's gonna be a great event.

(35:22):
I let him know that Nebraska's gota lot of good vocal bull riding here.
We've got some big rodeos of coursein Nebraska, so this is a
strictly bull riding event. I thinkwe got thirty five bull riders. I
believe we're going to be there,and uh so, yeah, I'm encouraging
everybody come down and just watch it. Just a fun night, a real

(35:44):
fun night of it's great entertainment.And so yeah, so I got the
bundle ball mister Cooley. Mister Cooley, he is, he is, he
is, He's one of theirs one. He's gonna be one of the top.
I think he's gonna be a legend. So we'll see pb all at
PBA Saturday Night the PBR linking insidePinnacle Bank Arena. Go to PBR dot

(36:05):
com or ticketmaster dot com to gettickets for the Saturday night's event. Have
you ever tried to ride, misterCooley, I have not tried. I
am not getting on a bucking bull. I'll get on. Nope, that
will not be happening. Uh butuh, I'm probably a little too old
for that. But no, butyou can see me. I'll be tangling

(36:29):
with I'll be tangling with a runerect there in the third row. So
if you wonder she's some really interestingI hope you can stay. I hope
you can stay on that run forthe full eight seconds. I'll eat that.
I'm gonna try to stay on thetoilet. That's gonna be a whole
different deal, you know, Larry, I'm gonna get red. Come down

(36:49):
and watch me get red flagged bythe Plumbers Union mom or Saturday Night of
Bumpy Best Pinnacle Banker Larry the herefor a couple more minutes on news radio
eleven ten kfab. You know youit's very nice for you to say,
Hey, congratulations to all your successthere, Scott. But I love telling

(37:10):
people the story about when I wastalking to you years ago and you were
doing great and you know, standup comedy, blue collar comedy tour,
all that stuff is going great.And he said, well, Scotty,
they got me voicing a tow truckin a cartoon. And I'm like that
sounds I'm thinking that sounds terrible.But I said, well, that'll be
good. And it's like, isit a Disney movie. Nah, it's

(37:32):
something called Pixar. I'm like,well, good luck. You know.
I thought, like, well,cable guy had a nice run. His
career is over, and you knowthat worked out. That worked out pretty
well. I would say that didwork out pretty good. I'll tell you
the coolest part, I mean justthe fact we did it one time.
Then we did three more, andthen we did shorts and other mini movies.

(37:55):
I mean. The coolest thing though, is when you go to the
cars Land out in California. Imean, this is the part of pro
you walk. As soon as youwalk, Mad greet you, Mad gives
you directions, made her till andMater's always in there talking to people,
and it's just really cool to beable to take my kids in there.

(38:17):
They're getting older now, sixteen toseventeen, but you know, it's just
kind of cool that, you know, once I'm gone, you know,
they can still go there and heartheir dad's voice on stuff. Kind of
Oh no. And my kids,they they loved Mater and my wife told
them when they were little kids likedaddy knows him. And they looked at

(38:37):
me like if I had just said, hey, Santa Claus at the door,
he wants to talk to you guys, they wouldn't have been more impressed.
So thanks for making me a cooldad there before we cut you loose
here, Larry. Since you knowthe PBR event at Pinnacle Bank Arena on
Saturday night is one big sporting eventthis weekend, I got to ask you

(38:58):
about the other one. The Mastersis going on at Augusta. The weather's
finally broke. They're playing golf outthere. You've played that golf course and
I've never asked you what that waslike for the rest of us who can
only dream of teeing it up atAugusta. What's that like? Man?
I'll tell you what. First ofall, golf I figured out the golfer

(39:19):
is like the DMV after about anhour if you want to punch everybody close
to you. So I keep tellingevery they go, you're getting better,
and I go, yeah, myhandicap's gone from a twenty to thirteen and
it's only cost about four million worthevery penny it really is. I love

(39:43):
golf. But yeah, you know, I played it. Here's a cool
thanks guy. I played it.I believe it was two thy nineteen and
I played it two weeks before thetournament, so all the stands were up.
There was only two groups out.There's me and my buddy of mind.
It owns the Augusta paper, andman, it was the greatest thing

(40:08):
of all time. It was sopristine and Ie cured perfectly. And I
will say, you know I heardstories about man, they're really strict on
the rules. Make sure you know. Like I talked to my buddy Willie
Robertson from Duck Dynash. Yeah,they made him put a hat on he
could nurse headband and they told methey can't walk over in this part.

(40:32):
And I'm like, well, man, well this isn't how funny, but
I will we're down there and itwas the coolest experience that I ever had.
Everybody was nice. Here was onecrazy thing. I go, I
just had a cigar and I wasabout to finish the cigar. We're gonna
he wanted to stop and eat afterthe ninth told and I'm like, cramp.

(40:55):
I just looked a cigar and Idon't throw it on the ground.
There's no place. I say,what do I do with it? He
goes, I bring it on in? I said, bring it in.
Yeah, he's smoking there. Yeah, I said, I said, really,
He goes, yeah, I'm allright, I'll do that. We
can do anything we want here.This is aug Well, we didn't do

(41:16):
it, but it was no Iwill say though, it was. They're
very they were very kind, verysweet, but just just all of the
the legends and legacy of that courseand then having it shut up so we
got to play with the stands up. I mean it was it was I
can understand that goes into it alot of people as of course, of

(41:39):
course, Well, I think it'sjust all the majesty and all of the
you know, just all of thehistory of the game of golf that went
on there. It was. Itwas really fun. I was very fortunate
to be able to do it.So I enjoyed. They offered me a
membership, but I told them Idon't think I'd ever get down here enough

(41:59):
to play. Offered me a membership, but you know, I like Pioneer
Parking, Lincoln. That's a goodgolf course. I'll stay with That's it's
a hilly too, like Augusta.Hey, Larry, you know what.
You've been a guest on the showbefore, but not since we started asking
all of our favorite guests on theshow to say a line for us that

(42:22):
we feel is the best thing tohear first thing in the morning. The
line is, good morning, honey, I made you pancakes for breakfast,
but you can do whatever you wantwith that line. Would you say some
variation of that line for us,perhaps imploring us to get her done with
that line? Uh? Yeah,morning honey makes cake. Just wanting,

(42:45):
but don't put syrup on it becauseI'll be honest, m stomach. Just
kill it. Get her done.Larry, you're the best man. I
can't need that fake sugar man.It kills. Thank you very much for
all the entertainment. Thank you forthe friendship and to have fun on Saturday
night with mister Cooley. All right, absolutely, everybody if you can man

(43:09):
come out and see this. It'llbe a really fun event, non catch
and all that long take Amaster dotcom, PBR dot com, Bennacal Bank
Arena, Saturday night. Good luck, Larry. We'll talk to you soon.
Thank you. That's Larry the CableGuy here on news Radio eleven ten
kfab Scott. This isn't a Larrythe Cable Guy comedy event on Saturday night.

(43:31):
But if there's a microphone anywhere aroundhim, then you'll be laughing.
But it's it's a it's a realrodeo. It's a bull riding rodeo.
The Pendleton Whiskey Velocity Tour event isin Lincoln a Pinnacle Bank Arena this Saturday
night and Larry the Cable Guys gether done. Bounty Bowl. Mister Cooley

(43:52):
is going to be there and they'reoffering this is the the writers there that
night, offering them ten thousand dollarsif they stay on mister Cooley for the
full eight seconds. Again, that'sfor the that's for the bull riders.
Not like I'm gonna go to thebull riding event. I'll be sitting in
Section one sixteen. I'll be like, I'll ride that bull and they'll invite

(44:13):
you down. It's not like whenyou get a chance to try and shoot
the puck at you know, thebreak in a MAVs hockey game. It's
not gonna be you out there fora chance to win ten thousand dollars.
I mean, imagine they get insuranceon this bowl, but not for something
like that. I'm totally sure thatyou could do it, but this is
not for a fans like, hey, come on down here, sign a

(44:34):
waiver and you can ride this bull. Well, get on up there,
daughter. You know it's it's notgonna be like that. So this can
be a really fun bull riding event. And if you've never been to something
like this, you're gonna have agreat time. Bring the kids. Pinnacle
Bank Arena, Saturday night, PBRdot com, ticketmaster dot com. Fox
News update in just a moment,in case you missed the breaking news this

(44:57):
morning, they'll have the latest onit here. And by the way,
the latest hasn't changed. He's stilldead. O. J. Simpson has
died this morning at the age ofseventy six. Dale emails and asks do
you suppose there was a deathbed confessionabout what the man was found innocent.

(45:19):
That's that's as good as gold herein the American justice system. That is
actually a very interesting question. Iwouldn't think so, I would Why why
would he at this point because everyoneknew he did it and you've already formed

(45:45):
an opinion about it and him,you know, both before and after that
whole incredible episode. As Larry thecable guy who was on with us earlier
this hour, as he said,it's one one of those things like you
remember where you were when and forsome people, I mean, he wasn't

(46:06):
saying like it was as big forour nation as September eleventh, But we
were all glued to our TVs watchingthat Ford Bronco. Oh Jay, what
double murder? What do you talk? And then of course the trial.
Man, I remember being a beneficiaryof that trial as we were all like
totally glued to the court proceedings.What was going on there? I mean,

(46:29):
it was must see TV and everyonewas all about courtroom drama. How
was I a beneficiary? Because thenot guilty verdict came down the day of
our opening night performance of the Nightof January sixteenth, a courtroom drama play

(46:51):
I was in as a freshman atthe University of Nebraska at Carney, and
people were like, they watched courtroomdrama a day, and we were at
the theater department saying, hey,if you like courtroom drama, the theater
department here at Unk is putting ona show called The Night of January sixteenth
that people are like, I'm inmore courtroom drama. We were packed every

(47:15):
night. Perhaps you remember my roleas the court bailiff. You want to
hear my big and often repeated line, I do actually do you swear to
tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So'll
help you God. So now you'reready for it when you hear it from
the other side. He y,I still remember that line, still remember.

(47:38):
I'm sure other actors can say,yes, I played Henry the eighth
and Shakespeare in production, you know, and they remember the whole thing.
I can still remember that. Howdo I remember these words? Just coming
on? All right? So maybeI wasn't the star of the show.
It was actually the first theater productionI'd been in since I laid the King

(48:00):
of the Wing Monkeys in the sixthgrade production of the Wizard of Oz.
You know what my line was inthat I can't imagine it actually were words.
Pretty sure the line would have been, while looking at Dorothy, get
her, get her, that's yourbig line. There's your eighties movie reference

(48:22):
for this segment of the radio program, and you just talked to get her
done. Ah that's good. Notthe movie line, but yeah, an
excellent reference. Get her wud beGhostbusters. So Lucy, thank you very
much for already doing this. You'rethe only member of the news radio eleven

(48:45):
ten kfab staff who has done thisso far. We've got one of those
corporate training seminar things we gotta take. I'm the only one. You're the
only one who's done this. I'mgonna do it this morning to give you
the answers. Let me tell youwhat this is all about. Do you
work for a corporation? Isn't itfun so? And their advantages and disadvantages

(49:08):
to anything? And what are thedisadvantages? Well, selfishly, the disadvantages
are that you've got eight hundred andfifty radio stations and a number of other
operations all rolled into the iHeart RadioEmpire. And there's no place else I'd

(49:28):
rather be. But every once ina while, when you have this many
people who work throughout the entire country, someone screws up, and then a
corporate board of lawyers has to getinvolved and say, this person screwed up,
what can we do to punish allthe other employees with this company so

(49:52):
that they don't make common sense mistakeslike Steward over here? And so when
then we have to take all thesereally common sense train eating things. And
this one is about security, likedata security and not making the wrong decisions
whether it's online or with private employeeor company information. Like I can't get

(50:15):
on the radio and tell you howmuch Lucy Chapman weighs. That's sensitive personal
information. I go ahead, she'salmost two one hundred pounds. If you
keep eating, you know you'll puton the weight I'm telling you. And
Lucy's like, did you just callme fat? I think I'm ninety seven

(50:37):
pounds. You call me fat?So? And then the thing I like
about these corporate training things, andI know everyone in a corporate environment has
to take these things, so youknow exactly what I'm talking about. You'll
take this thing and it'll it'll bethis little seminar that talks about, you

(50:57):
know, not clicking on the wrongemail and who to contact if you have
a question about this, and thenthey'll say, all right, let's let's
take a little test to see ifif this information we're impartying is actually cracking
that thick skull of yours. Andit's some scenario like Shannon is printing out

(51:19):
all of her banking customer's personal information, tying it to a rock and throwing
it over the prison wall. Whatdid Shannon do wrong? It's it's always
like the dumbest stuff in the world. And you'd be amazed at how often
I get these answers wrong because Ialways want to argue with the premise and

(51:43):
the answers. Well, technically,you know, if if this, then
that you know. But all Igotta do is just the answers see and
just click it and move on.So I got that to do today.
That'll be fun. We all laughat these people who like President Obama was
in Iowa campaigning for president two thousandand I don't know seven, I think

(52:07):
it was during that run, andhe talked about how grocery prices were getting
out of control. This was intwo thousand and seven. I would give
anything to go back to those prices. But and he made some comment like
seeing the price of arugula lately,and people are looking at each other,
going a arugula? Is he talkingabout lettuce? He gets lettuce, you

(52:32):
know? Or President George H.W. Bush going into a supermarket and
watching them in the late eighties scanitems and he's looking going, ooh wow,
what's that? What's this technology that'sbeen out for decades that I don't
see because I'm out of touch,you know. So we always laugh when

(52:52):
someone who has a very different lifethan we live says something or does something
like that. I guess I'm oneof those people. Lucy, I'm gonna
see if you are too. I'mup for the challenge. What is the
current price of a stamp? Fiftythree? I probably would have said,

(53:16):
I don't know. A nickel Imean, and it's not well, honestly,
I would have guessed probably, Idon't know. Forty two cents?
Is it still thirty seven? Idon't know. I do know because I
have a news story and it's inthe news, and I'll tell you why
in a second. I don't haveany idea what the cost of a stamp

(53:37):
is because I have tried to makeit such in my life where I don't
mail anything. What is the point. Uh, well don't. What about
bills just automatically deducted. What ifthey're wrong? What if they're taking out
more money? That's fine, Iwould just I would rather you steal money

(53:58):
from my bank account then me haveto get a bill in the mail,
write a check, put it inthe envelope, find a stamp. Right
and at some of these businesses theydon't have the fancy envelopes where the return
address shows through and the thing yougot to write it down on there.
My handwriting is just about as badas my ability to pay bills. In

(54:22):
this manner, I don't want todo it. I just tell everyone,
just like, here's all of mybank account and routing information. Just take
it. The girl scouts love thatI get a box of thin mints every
five minutes. You know, justwhatever, as long as I don't have
to like put something in an envelopeput a stamp on it. You sound
like you got a little phobia.No phobia, I'm just lazy. And

(54:45):
as far as like, I feelbad for the mail carriers, Like do
you know that when you're putting allthis stuff in people's mailbox, we're just
gonna chuck it out it gets thrownaway, or putting the recycling bin.
If you're more responsible, we don'twant any of it. We don't want
And all you're doing, like yourlivelihood, is to go mailbox to mailbox

(55:06):
and stuff a bunch of crap inthere that none of us wants. I
don't blame the mail carriers for it. They're just the delivery. But it's
uh, it'd be like if Iwas going door to door saying, hey,
I'm gonna do some of my radioshow for you, and they're like,
we didn't ask for this. Ifwe wanted it, we'd turn on

(55:28):
the radio. Do you hear usturn on the radio? No, move
it along, we don't want it. I'm just not a fan of male.
I lack female. So anyway,I don't pay bills by stamp and
it. And yes, there aretimes throughout the year I got a mail

(55:49):
something, put a stamp on something. I hate that. So I reach
in the drawer and I get astamp. Do you know how much the
you know, the stamps got there. My wife bought them, you know,
So when she bought them, Idon't know, two thousand and five
she bought like a big thing.She thought stamps were gonna like a stamps
will never be this cheap again.So when as soon as they started doing

(56:10):
the forever stamps, she went outand got a keg of forever stamps.
So we've got stamps from now andto the end of time. I think
she bought them when they were intwenty seven cents. Do you know what
a stamp costs right now? Sixtyeight cents? Wow. And the cost
of a stamp is going up.The USPS wants to push it to seventy

(56:32):
three cents seventy three stamps. Imight as well just drive it over to
OPPD. Seventy three cents insane.That book of stamps cost you seven hundred
dollars. I can't afford a bookof stamp. I can't afford stamps in
this economy. Play and Buck willtake from here there next. Thanks for
hanging out with us today, ScottForyes Mornings nine to eleven on news Radio

(56:57):
eleven ten KFAB