Eating Biden's Uncle

I hear that kind of thing is frowned upon.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Scott vordees the latest speech here fromour President Joseph R. Biden. The
President went to the World War TwoMemorial and he wanted to look up,
and you find on the wall therewhere his uncle's name was his uncle second

(00:22):
Lieutenant Ambrose Jay Finnigan Junior, someonewas named Ambrose Finnegan. And said,
well, this is a name thatmust endure. I'm gonna name my son
Ambrose Jay Finnigan Junior. And whatdoes Finnigan do? Begin again? Anyway?

(00:49):
You think I'm kid no or not? Here's the unquote. That's Joe
Biden. Here's President Biden talking abouthis uncle yesterday. And my uncle they
called him Ambrose Brosie, they calledhim my uncle Bosey. It's a hell
of an athlete. And tell mewhen he was a kid? Do I
need to interpret what he's saying?Yes? Please? All right? He's

(01:12):
President Mumbles is uh, he's brokenaway. He's Dick Tracy's still looking for
him. And President Mumbles says,my uncle Ambrose was a hell of an
athlete, okay. And and hebecame an Army Air Corps before the Air
Force came on. He went intothe Air Army single engine planes, as

(01:33):
reconnaissance over war zones. He gotshot down in New Guinea. All right,
So the president says, my unclegot shut shot down in World War
two over New Guinea. It soundslike he said he became an air of
corn. He may have. Sohis uncle was shot down in World War

(01:57):
two? Terrible? What else?And they never found the body because as
there used to be, there area lot of cannibals, for real in
that part of New Guinea. Butone of the things that I was that
I was doing that today, allright, oll get that? All right,
that's enough. Well, that's kindof insulting to the residents of Papua
New Guinea. If there are stillwell, let's think about this. If

(02:21):
those if the cannibals of New Guineaare still alive today after eating his uncle
and untold thousands more people since nineteenforty four, and they're still alive,
maybe we shouldn't go through fast fooddrive throughs as much as we do here
in America. Maybe our best sustenanceis right next door to us. Jeremy,

(02:47):
I'm looking at you. Maybe weshould be eating people a new fast
food play today. Here's hi,I'm Jeff Biel's and here's today's row Omaha
Minuete. Soylent green is now openingup soil like great ass payball. Sorry

(03:08):
for giving away the end of thatmovie. There's your nineteen sixties movie reference.
Sixties to seventies movie reference for thissegment of the radio program. So
the President said his uncle, whowas a great athlete, was shot down
in World War two in New Guineaand they never found the body because there

(03:32):
used to be, for real,a lot of cannibals in that part of
New Guinea. You know, Idon't dispute that perhaps there was a tribe
of bush people in New Guinea wherepeople like Christian missionaries would show up with

(03:54):
sacks of oranges and potatoes and like, hey, hey guys, look at
this is it's a hot dog.And they're like, you're a hot dog,
and then they ate a guy.That's how that's how we got used
to calling people hot dogs. Incase we had to eat them, we'd
feel better about eating them. Youknow, you don't eat a guy,

(04:15):
but a hot dog. I likea hot dog. That's also why we
started calling people hams. Same thing. We started calling people a lot of
food based things because the cannibals ofNew Guinea started that, and you know,
because you don't want to admit,like, oh, I eat people.

(04:38):
But if you say, what,what does your diet generally consist of
hot dogs, hams, vegetables,they don't move as much. Maybe he
did become an ear of corn.Then that's right. Maybe they weren't cannibals,
they were vegetarians. Yeah, youknow, this has been debunked that

(05:00):
there were cannibals in New Guinea.About his uncle, yeah, I know,
I'm taking my sweet time and gettingthere. I'm just having fun thinking
about people, just like eating soldiers. Didn't they know this was President Biden's
uncle. Now, this was innineteen forty four. President Biden was fresh

(05:23):
out of college, just seeing ifanyone's willing to do the math. So
as occasionally happens, President Biden sayssomething and then some rogue journalists decide to
fact check it. This is anew one. President Biden says his uncle

(05:46):
was shot down and eating. Whatdoes the official record say? The United
States government has this pesky record ofmissing service members, And here there's what
they say. Second Lieutenant Ambrose J. Finnegan, Junior, United States Army

(06:08):
died honor about May fourteenth, nineteenforty four, while a passenger on an
Army Air Forces plane that, forunknown reasons, was not shot down.
That's number one. President Biden sayshis uncle was shot down. Did he
say his uncle was piloting the plane? He was a passenger on a plane

(06:32):
that was not shot down. Instead, for unknown reasons, was forced to
ditch in the Pacific Ocean off thenorthern coast of New Guinea. Both engines
failed at low altitude, and theaircraft's nose hit the water. Three men,
including Second Lieutenant Finnegan, failed toemerge from the sinking wreck and were

(06:57):
lost in the crash at see orAs the cannibals on the shore there in
New Guinea said, I think hisname is Stu. He's in the water.
So that he wasn't eaten by cannibals, not according to the United States

(07:21):
Government record of missing service members.So it appears that someone either told President
Biden and look, I'll I alwaystry and give grace and say, well,
let's look at it a different way. I mean, if my family
had told me something since I wasa young kid, I wouldn't think to

(07:45):
question it. You know, thiswas what my grandparents said this is what
my father told me, you knowwhatever, I wouldn't think to quit.
I wouldn't think to go look upthe government records. If my family told
me, since I was a kid, you better eat all your food starving
people in New Guinea that would finishthat broccoli, you know, like they
finished your uncle. They ever tellyou about what happened to your uncle that

(08:13):
who knows what they told him growingup? I wouldn't think to question it.
If since I was a young kid, I was like, hey,
you clean up your room. Otherwisewe're sending you off to New Guinea where
the razor sharp teeth, cannibals ofNew Guinea, they'll clean off your bones.
They will. If he was toldsince he was a kid that his

(08:37):
uncle was shot down and chewed on, then I don't blame him for thinking
that. What I do now thequestion is and and by the way,
this is me attempting to try andgive President Biden grace. But he does

(08:58):
this all the time. He saysthings that are later found to be wildly
untrue. What yes, where He'sconstantly been and one of the worst examples
was the car accident that killed hisfirst wife, where he said for years

(09:18):
she was killed, hit and killedby a drunk driver. The guy in
the accident was not drunk. Shepulled out in front of a truck.
The driver of the truck wasn't drunk, and he was told, under threat
of slander, stop saying this guywas drunk. He's like, a,
I am sorry, and then hestarted to running for president again. My

(09:41):
wife was killed by a drunk driver. And again the guy who's still alive,
he's like, hey, hey,what did we say? Ah right,
I'm sorry. So he just,for whatever reason, spins more yarn
than who is a sleeping beauty wasup there with the anyway. So now

(10:07):
what I have to wonder is okay. President said his uncle was shot down
and picked apart like an art tochoke by the everyone knows the Cannibals of
New Guinea, who, by theway, are playing the waiting Room tonight.

(10:28):
Oh no, no, wait,sorry, they're opening up for a
Ringo Starr and his all star bandwho had just announced this morning, or
playing the Astro this summer. Thatlast part's true. By the way,
if you're a Beatles fan, orif you're like I don't like the Beatles,
but I love me some ringo starall right, you know, to
each his own ringo star's playing theastro in La Vista this summer just announced.

(10:48):
So, when faced with you saidthis happened to your uncle shot down
and eaten? The United States governmentrecord says he was not shot down and
died in this sinking wreckage of hisairplane that crashed for unknown reasons when engines
failed at low altitude and they hitthe water. Now what do you say,

(11:09):
well, they asked the White House, and a spokesperson chose not to
address the discrepancy between the agency's recordand the president's account, and issued a
statement that said, quote President Bidenis proud of his uncle's service and uniform.
Finnegan lost his life when the militaryaircraft he was on crashed in the

(11:33):
Pacific after taking off near New Guinea. The President highlighted his uncle's story as
he made the case for honoring oursacred commitment to equip those we send a
war and take care of them andtheir families when they come home. That's
all fine and good, But thequestion was why did the President say his

(11:54):
uncle was shot down and add andate just done aided by people? Why
the presidents say that President supports hisuncle's that's fine. No one's questioning that.

(12:16):
Again, the question was, andthen why the president say and is
he still going to continue to sayit? The Zonker's custom was inbox open
for you Scott at kfab dot com, and as everyone expected, it's full
of tasteless emails related to the President'sstory about his uncle being eaten by cannibals

(12:43):
after being shot down in World Wartwo, which, again, in case
you just joined us, the USgovernment official record of this says that the
President's uncle was not shot down,crashed into the ocean with engine failure at
low altitude and sank to the bottomof the ocean in the plane, and
not eaten by cannibals. But thePresident said is his uncle was shot down

(13:09):
and eaten by cannibals in New Guineain World War two. And here are
the tasteless emails Scott at kfab dotcom. Johnny says, Scott, I
hurt. After Joe's uncle Bosey wasshot down. He and his fellow captives
had to fend off the cannibals,but they didn't have a leg to stand

(13:30):
on. One of his buddies calledout, said, hey, can you
give us a hand over here.Thank you, Johnny Mark emails and says
the United States government would have goneover there and saved him, but it
would have cost them an arm anda leg. A whole bunch of people
standing at the gates of hell thismorning. Dave just said, emails and

(13:52):
says, mm, that's good,airman. There's another one. It's amazing
all these people just marching gleefully towardshades. All listen to this radio show.
Now, I think that's I thinkthat's it. Yeah, that's it
for the bad ones. MJ saysthat cannibalism is frowned upon but not extinct

(14:20):
in New Guinea. Who made youan expert on the cannibals of New Guinea?
And who's frowning frowned upon? Lucy? Think about things like here?
It like at the radio station.What are some things that happen around here
that like, you're not going toget fired for it, but it's going
to be frowned upon. Like oneof the big ones is if you take

(14:43):
the last of the water from thewater cooler jug and don't replace the jug,
it's frowned upon. Do you wantmy list alphabetically top ten the whole
thing. What drives me crazy whenpeople take something out of the microwave and
leave threes seconds on the timer.Oh, I was gonna leave three seconds
for you in case you needed tonuke something for only three seconds. I

(15:05):
thought that'd be that'd save you sometime. I don't know why people do
that. Just hit clear, hitclear, or wait three extra seconds?
Is that'll burn it? Yeah,it's frowned upon. It's frowned upon.
If I came around the corner andwitnessed someone doing that, I would frown
upon them. If I came aroundthe corner and Gary was eating the night

(15:28):
janitor, I'd frown upon that Gary, Gary spit No, Gary, release
his head. Release the way wetalked about this, stop that, I'd
hit him with the newspaper. Stopit, let go, let go,
let go, let go, letgo, let go, let go.

(15:48):
Frown upon it. He wouldn't befired for it. I'm not gonna call
the authorities. It's just something that'sfrowned upon. Scott Boys Mornings nine to
eleven on News Radio eleven ten kF A B