Comedian Aaron Weber on Pitching, Fatherhood, and Raccoons

Meet your headline at the Funny Bone this weekend: Aaron Weber of the "Nateland" podcast with Nate Bargatze.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Scott Vords very honored to welcome himhere in the studio. He's in Omaha
for several shows throughout the weekend atthe Funny Bone Comedy Club at Village Point.
He is Aaron Weber who joins usnow, Aaron goodmore. What's going
on? Man? Thank you forhaving me. I'll tell you what,
when you talk about your cutting edgecomedians working today, I look up on
you and the first thing I seeis, you know, here's Aaron Weber.

(00:21):
Here's his page. Here's just MySpacepage. That's like, I tell
you, Yeah, the kids theyidentify with MySpace, don't they? I
mean the kids my age, Ithink. So, if you're listening,
I've I've I built my website tolook like an old two thousand and four,
two thousand and five era MySpace page. I used to do a little
web development back in the day.So I wanted just as an homage to

(00:44):
the Internet when it was a pure, you know, a more pure thing,
and we were innocent and we had, you know, lost all of
our joy in life. That wasgoing to say, there's got to be
a picture of Tom on here topeight yep, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you missed the old my spacespace where they weren't selling your data
to everybody. Go check out AaronWebercomedy dot com. Aaronwebercomedy dot com.

(01:06):
This is beautiful. Thank you.I love it here. We got acquainted
when you were on the phone herewith us. I don't know last year.
I think maybe a couple of yearsago. And I'm not going to
have you tell it again, butthe story of you thrown out the first
pitch at a ball game, ohyeah, is classic. I was bummed
that the Storm Chasers won't be playingin Omaha when I'm here. But that's

(01:27):
something I've been doing on the road, is it's a great way to kill
a days, go out and seea minor league baseball game. Right,
So an interesting thing to do whenI'm in these cities is I hit him
up and I go, let methrow out the first pitch, and most
of them ghost me, but everynow and then the team will go you
can do it. And in Chattanooga, Tennessee, I had to share the
mound with a war veteran on MemorialDay weekend. So talking about having your

(01:51):
spotlight sool, Well, first ofall, you come down there and you're
like, all right, So Iget to throw out the first pitch,
it's just me right, Like,well, we got someone else, like,
yeah, could they possibly get that'sgonna be more impactful than comedian Aaron
Weber. Oh, just a guywith three purple hearts. And you were
like, how about he does ittomorrow? That's right, this is for

(02:13):
me. This is my Memorial Dayweekend. Yeah, you quickly learn when
you're throwing out the first pitch ata minor league baseball game, probably for
a major league game as well.Unless you're Mariah Carey five hopping it to
the plate, no one's paying anyattention to you. No, unless you're
George Bush. After nine to eleven, that's the even in the stadium.

(02:34):
Yeah, well that's what I did. I got a chance to go down
to the old rosenblat here with theold Omaha Royals and throw out the first
pitch. And it was after nineto eleven. After Bush did that,
and the here's you want to hearthe whole behind the scenes story on that
hour in a bulletproof vests, Iwas. And it's because it starts off

(02:57):
with a good friend of mine,Larry the cable guy almost comedian, and
Bush had thrown out the first pitch. This is before nine to eleven at
a Rangers game. You know,when you owned the team, you do
that probably any time you want.So you go out there, and he
hopped it. He didn't get itthere. And so Larry the cable guy,
for whatever reason, gets to bein a line of people and like,

(03:19):
all right, the President's come in. It's just a quick you know,
shake his hands, say nice tomeet you, mister President. He's
gonna say you bet, and thenyou'll move on. It's just a quick
thing. And so cable guy isthinking, what do I say to President
Bush? He just saw this firstpitch. So President Bush gets to Larry
the cable guy and Larry says anice pitch the other night, and Bush

(03:44):
like yeah, and then just shookall the other hands in the room.
Then turned around and made a bline back to Larry the cable guy because
you're still a guy. Sure,I don't care if you're the commander in
chief, You're still a guy.And he starts saying, I had never
thrown a pitch with a bulletproof veston before, and it was completely I
wasn't used to it, right,And so when he had a chance to

(04:04):
do it in New York there afternine to eleven. He was warming up
with the bulletproof vest. He's like, I had to get it to the
plate. There he delivered. Man, it's one of the all time great
moments and baseball history, possibly awesomemoments. I wore a bulletproof vest and
people just looking down going who isthis guy and why does he have a
bulletproof vest on? Yeah, it'spretty sweet. You've got a kid coming,

(04:29):
I do, yeah in October.Yeah, my wife and I are
having our first kid, so we'revery excited. Just found out it's a
girl. Congratulations, thank you.We're trying to wrap our head around that.
We're moving into a new house.There's a lot going on, so
I'm excited to be away from itall here and overs a few days.
Is that going to change your lifeas a touring comedian. I'm sure.
I'm sure it will. Yeah.I've taken a few months off when the

(04:53):
baby comes, and then we'll tryto reevaluate, you know, what our
weeks will look like moving forward.But I've got some comedian friends around me
that have done this exact thing,that have tried to juggle having kids and
being a full time road comedian,so I've got some good examples to look
up to there. What are youmost concerned about being a father for the

(05:13):
first time? I mean, justwhat do you do? What do you
do all day? And I thinkabout it. I was thinking about that,
what do you do with it?I'm not as worried. I don't
know. I don't know what todo with the newborn. I know that
phase goes away quickly, but it'sjust gonna it's gonna be a few months.
It's just like, all right herewe are just kind of looking at
each other. The most annoying thingis all the people coming up to you,

(05:35):
going, oh, it goes sofast. Next thing you know,
they're going to prom this weekend.Now you're like, how about how about
you just slow down. She's barelyeating strained peas right now. Let's not
have her going to prom this weekend. But now my little girl's going to
her first prom tomorrow night. Wow. And I feel compelled to say,

(05:57):
Aaron goes so fast, I've heardand you'll miss it. The days are
long, but the years are short. What I what I found about.
Thanks for asking me to give youall my thoughts on parenthood. Erin ye,
I love it. Yeah, it'slike all the advice I can get.
What I found about parenthood is youwant them to get to the next
stage, whatever stage that they're in, whatever phase that is, you want

(06:20):
them to get to the next,right, Never enjoy the moment, right,
and you want to get and thenas soon as they move on to
the next phase, you missed thelast one. And you just do that
until you die. Yeah. That'sand that's parenthood, and you're gonna love
it, and you're absolutely gonna loveit. That's parenthood, counting down the
days until you're dead and gone.That's that's how it was. Well,

(06:42):
it's kind of like work. Youknow, work is saying things should calm
down after this week, and yousay that every week until you die.
I have a lot of thoughts aboutdeath. All right, Aaron Weber Studio.
How many are we doing at theFunny Bone this week? One show
tonight, one show Friday night,two show Saturday. Yeah, so three

(07:02):
shows total? Okay, looking forwardto it's a great club, one of
the best clubs in the country.And wants to be back here funny the
Funny Bone. All right, allright, Colleen from the funny Bone is
also here in the suits. Right. Hey, good morning gang, good
morning listeners out there. Just goto Omaha dot Funnybone dot com and grab
tickets for Aaron while they last,Yes, right, because he's he's so

(07:25):
funny and he's got his little cultfollowing here. Yeah, well, being
a part being a part of theNateland podcast with Nate Bargatzi is a pretty
cool deal here. We'll talk moreabout that Omaha dot Funnybone dot com or
tickets see Aaron Weber. One showtonight, two shows tomorrow. He'll do

(07:45):
one more segment with us after aFox News Update next Scotties News Radio eleven
kfab Aaron, appreciate you hanging outhere, absolutely man taking time away from
being with Nate Bargatzi. That's fromthe Nate Land podcasts. So Nate went
from a Netflix special to selling outc Chi Health Center twice, great span

(08:09):
of about six months here in Omahaand one of the hottest stand up comics
today, just did Saturday Night Liveand killed it. So what's it like
to try and get on his scheduleand be a part of his land in
Nate Land. Yeah, his schedule'scrazy, but it's it's very fun to
just be a part of that,to be in that world. So we
do the podcast, I mean justat his house. We do it every

(08:31):
week and and he's he's missed afew of them recently because he's running around
headlining the Roman Coliseum or whatever he'sdoing. But when we're all together,
it's very fun. It's a lotof fun to sit across the table from
him every week. And I wouldnever say this to his face, but
he was one of my favorite,probably my favorite comedian before we started the
podcast. So very cool to justbe a part of that that world.

(08:54):
Well, you're no slouch. You'veshared the stage with some of the great
stand up comics of all time.I'm looking over some of the people you've
been out there with and it's everyonefrom John Witherspoon to one of my favorites,
Kevin Pollock. Yeah, you know, son, what's it like to,

(09:15):
you know, be out there withsome of these big headlining comedians like
Sindbad from you know, Nate's audienceand Sinbad's audience a little different probably here,
so a little bit when when you'reout there is like, especially as
a new comedian and you got yourten fifteen minutes in front of an audience
that didn't pay to come to seeyou. What's that like, Well,

(09:35):
when you're starting out as a comedian, I feel like you're a guy on
a first date. You don't reallyknow who you are. You're whoever they
want you to be, right.But that was something I've always thought was
a strength of mine as a comicis I could kind of get dropped into
any room and figure it out.You know. So when you're doing stand
up comedy, you get put incrazy situations all the time. I'll be

(09:58):
doing a church show in uh,you know, Sue falls, and then
in an urban show in Atlanta thenext week. So you just kind of
have to figure it out. You'vegot to survive wherever you are. Yeah,
hard to be the feature act beforethe headliner. No one paid to
see that guy. By the way, your feature act, Zach Townsend,
is here in the studio. Zack, good morning, Hey, thanks for

(10:20):
having me. I guess, Hey, you're going to be in his seat
and he's going to be in Nateseat. It just keeps shifting. I
like that, it keeps everything keepsshifting. So Zach, tell me about
you. I've been doing stand upfor about six years. I've been in
Nashville for about four That's where Aaron. I've been on the road with him
for the past year, So yeah, a lot with him. Do you

(10:43):
shave the mustache every morning and thenjust let it regenerate to this point,
yes, ten am, because thatis an impressive mustache and I'm guessing it
can come in overnight. It iswell cultivated. It's very Yeah, it's
very efficient at this point. Yeah, you have a radio friendly name for
that mustache. I don't know ifI can say it on here. So

(11:05):
what's what's on your radar in termsof people come see you and Aaron at
the Funny Bone this weekend? Thehot topics, airline food, what's the
deal with raccoons or wait, that'sAaron's kid. Yeah, I'm more warrior
peace in the Middle East. I'llbe talking about how we can figure that
out. Yeah, Zach, Zach'sup there with the Omaha World Herald in

(11:28):
his hand, going, I sawon the paper today. You come.
You come to see me for thelaughs. You come to see Zach for
the solutions. That's why I bringhim around. Yeah, that's right.
It's a lot of math. Ofjokes, stuff like that, I'll be
selling plasma after the show. So, like, what, what's on your
mind? I mean, I Ijust don't you know what. I never

(11:50):
realized how dumb I was until Iwas asked that question. Yeah, I
kind of just I'm kind of aguy. You just gotta come see.
Yeah, yeah, you gotta.You gotta see it. Like like Mitch
Hedberg once said, I sat downfor a radio interview and the guy said,
so who are you? And Ithought this guy's either really deep or
I'm at the wrong radio station.So, Aaron, what's your problem with

(12:13):
raccoons? I don't like them.I don't like them. I think they
trick you because they're cute. That'smy whole problem with them. As everybody
thinks they're adorable. Right, theyhave little hands that are fun, but
they're they They have rabies, yes, and they buy in No, they
all have it. They're the numbertwo leading cause of rabies in the world.

(12:33):
Did you know that? No,Okay, it's not true, but
it feels right. I hate them. That's according to I made this up
dot com. That's right, Well, that's my website. It'll redirect to
Aeron Webercomedy dot com if you typethat in. But I've got these raccoons.
They just took over my deck,so I've been dealing with I just
found uh dead raccoon on my deckyesterday. So either they're killing each other

(12:54):
or or I don't know, themob is trying to send a message to
me. I have no idea,but I cannot get away from these things.
There could be another like Alpha predatorthere. You could have a wolf.
I'd rather wolfs than a raccoon family. Really, yes, yeah,
because they come out at night.They look at me like it's their house
and I'm intruding, and I'm terrifiedof rabies. I think it's the worst

(13:18):
way to die. It's probably anumber one fear is dying of rabies.
I should introduce you to a friendof mine. They had a wonderful couple,
two beautiful teenage daughters, Two beautifulblonde teenage daughters. One of them
like cheerleader and you know that kindof thing. The other one went down

(13:39):
to the creek to capture raccoons andlearn how to skin them alive, so
divergent paths UFC fighter. The secondone, she was the one who was
always allowed to babysit my kids,Like, we're gonna have no problems.
As long as she's on the case, you don't have to worry about your
kids getting rabies. Now, no, they had raccoons in their attic,

(14:01):
and now after what she did,like she put one in a stick in
the yard, we haven't seen araccoon since. So you got to show
them whose boss? Was she aserial killer? She's no. I think
she's probably gonna be trying to captureserial killers. I don't do it,
but I got a mind for it. That kind of right. Yeah,
you gotta you gotta watch out forcritters. What's going on? I'd rather

(14:24):
have h raccoons than possums. Possumsare the scariest, creepiest looking things.
This is this is what's messed upabout it. Possums are great to have
around. Possums serve a purpose.They eat snakes, they eat ticks,
they eat spiders. They can't carryrabies because their body temperature is too hot.
But why why is it in mygarage? I don't have these things

(14:46):
in my garage in the grubs,Well, they're trying to hang They're trying
to help you out. You seea possum, you should go I appreciate
it. You should salute them.Okay, let's just say if the possums
and the raccoons go at it,we should all be possum. The first
thing we should do for all ofour kids. Another fatherly advice. You
got your first daughter on the wayhere, Get her to recognize early what

(15:09):
a possum looks like. Because ifyou go your entire life and like,
next thing you know, you're twentythree and you see one for the first
time with this creepy little red eyesand like crazy rows of teeth, yeah,
will your mind will explode. Oh. I have friends that grew up
in New York City or big citieslike that, and then they come out
to rural areas and they're like,what is that horrible? They look terrified.

(15:30):
You know where you need to takehim for breakfast this morning, Colleen
is the Alpine Inn. We gota biker bar that has the best fried
chicken in town. And right onthe other side of the glass are just
a pile of raccoons just stripping chicken. I've heard about this place. They're
really right there, right there,just in the mix. H fighting with
yellow jackets for chicken. It isa battle royal of madness, and you're

(15:52):
just a thin piece of glass awayfrom just eating and just looking at it.
Wow, I will go to that. The kids love it. Speaking
of food, what is on yourhat? This is a rnza? This
is it. This is the Omahastorm Chasers. It's their alternate jersey.
They become the Omaha Runza every nowand then. So that's what it is.
You are a minor league baseball guy. I mean, this is your

(16:15):
food. You should know what thisis on the hat? Right, That's
not what it looks like when Iorder one, But now that you say
it, I'd see it. Ithought it was like a meat twinkie,
which is kind of a Runza,isn't it. I might take that idea
and run with it. Though,meat tiny twinkie's not bad. I wish
there was some cabbage in it.That's right, Get a little vegetables in

(16:37):
there. That's that's the way youdo it. That's how it happens.
How how is life treating you onthe road this go around? It's good
man. I'm trying to I'm tryingto stay busy. I've got the kid
coming in October, so I'm jampacking this year, I'm going all over
the place. So I'm just tryingto trying to stay busy with everyone trying
to be famous on social media orpeople trying to like like get their camera

(17:00):
and I'm gonna mess with this guyon stage and try and get like social
media fames. Not not at Colleen'sclubs that much bone, but you've had
to deal with some people to geta few pops in the you know what.
I feel like the comedians that thathappens to, they're it's almost like
their audience is trained to behave thatway. I don't post a lot of

(17:22):
me doing crowd work. I don'tinteract with a crowd really, so if
somebody's familiar with me, they don'texpect that coming into the show. Are
there routing and drunk people, ofcourse, because I think it's we were
talking the other day. It's oneof the few places in American life where
they encourage you to drink and youcan't talk. I don't know of another
situation like that. You know,a movie theater maybe, but a movie

(17:47):
theater they're not You're not drinking likeyou are at a comedy club. So
Korea. So so you're bound forthere to be you know, some drunk
people, but I my crowds areyou know, I'm not riling them up.
I'm not talking about crazy stuff.I'm not even talking to them at
all. So they may or maynot be there. I don't know.
It's hard to don't need to bethere. I'd like them to be there,

(18:07):
but I can do my set toan empty room, no problem.
Aaronwebercomedy dot com is his website,Omaha dot Funnybone dot com is the club
website to go see Aaron Weber andthe Kim jong Un of comedy. Zach
Towns out, that's what we callhim. He'll be there as well.
Dresses like him too. Jumpsuit,old gray jumpsuit straight out of Hillary Clinton's

(18:30):
closet. That's beautiful thing. Youpull it off and you got the same
mustache as her too. It's cute. So guys, thank you very much
for coming hanging out anytime. Thankyou, buddy. I hope you enjoy
your time here in Omaha. Willhappen already, even though there's no first
pitch to throw out. That's allright, we'll make it happen next time,

(18:51):
all right. Zach Towns and AaronWeber, Funnybone Tonight, two shows
tomorrow, Omaha Dot, Funnybone dotcom. Scott Voice News Radio at eleven
ten kf a b