Giant Strollers!

They're everywhere -- RUN!!!!  (But, is it the stroller's fault?)

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scott Vordies. But Emery Songer there just promoted a show
yesterday where you can catch that on the podcast link
where he says, what is the deal with these wonder wagons?
You know what that is? I don't. It's basically a
stroller the size of an suv. This is why would
anybody want that? This is the new way that you

(00:23):
get around with kids? Now some of them got a car? Yeah,
some of these are absolutely Look. Mostly my thoughts on
this are you screw up your kids? I'll screw up
my kids. These are my thoughts, and I think we
know Lucy's thoughts on the matter. Now here's the part

(00:45):
of the show where Lucy says she's glad she doesn't
have kids. So you know, how much should you take
what I'm about to say with a grain of salt?
You can take all that salt. You can put it
around the rim of the glass. You can have a margarita.
Why not? It's almost ten. So that that's said, I mean,
do I really care about this? Not? Really. The bigger

(01:06):
problem is people who have zero spatial awareness. Like, for example,
I'm walking into High v the other day and there's
a woman who grabs a shopping cart yep, And she's
going through the double door area to get into high
V And while she's right in the middle of the

(01:28):
double doors, she notices over here to her right is
the uh all the coupons. All right, So a normal
person with some awareness moves the cart to the side
so she can take a look at the coupons. So
you can stand there and take a look at the coupons, Okay,
not this woman. Oh, she leaves her cart right in

(01:49):
the middle of the doors, and then it's kind of
hanging there on the right side, so you can't get
around on the right to uh, so you can kind
of hover and look at the coupons while people are
trying to come through the door on their right to
my left, trying to get in there. There's not enough
room for them to get by. I'm standing behind her,
and her husband or whoever is already through the doors

(02:12):
and is looking back at her, and I just threw
up my hands like I don't know what to do here,
and he looks at me like, dude, what's your problem?
And just so I'm about to say something that was
probably gonna get my rumpest kickodist, because this dude was huge,

(02:34):
which apparently gives her the right to be like, I
do whatever I want. If that's a problem, he's gonna
take care of it. I just did. I just it's
my world and you guys just gotta have to revolve
around me. Man, I do one of these kind of women,
just some I'm about to put everyone in their place
and then get punched. She finally gets her cupeon book
and saunters her way into the store, and of course,

(02:58):
Hyve being what it is, the law of it wouldn't
be Murphy's law here O'Leary will to pick a different
Irish name applies, which is if you see someone who
you have a problem with, or if you see someone
at the store and you're like, hey, how's it gonna

(03:20):
haven't haven't seen you since college? How's everything are? These
are your kids? Oh? It's so nice to meet you guys. Good. Yeah,
I'm just getting a few things myself. That's great to
see you. All right, Well, we'll see you out, see
you on Facebook. Yeah, take care, you take care. What
happens is you will see them in every aisle. No,
that's when you sacrifice whatever you were going to buy
and you just leave, just I already had a nice conversation.

(03:44):
I'm going to see them eight more times. That's that's
one hundred percent how that goes. It's just one of
those things that happens. Isn't it weird how that always happens.
Same thing where if you're at the gym, you go
in the locker room, you're there at your locker. The
rest of the locker room is empty. Income one more guy,
guess where his locker is right next to or on

(04:05):
the top level, right by yours. What is this gym
you speak of? Take a look at these abs. Do
you think I get these bite in a box of donut? No?
I drive my kid to the gym. So this is
just kind of how this works. So the bigger issue
is people was zero spatial awareness. Now you give those

(04:28):
people stroller the size of a Buick Impala, that's not
a different thing a Chevy Impala, a Buick Skylark or
in my example, no, I got it back. In my example,
someone has taken an old Skylark and infused it with

(04:49):
an old Impala, and it's awesome. It is a it's
a super dope hooptie. And they rigged the hydraulics on
it so you can get that move. And it's so
big that planes land on it, including those with callsign triple,
like the Thunderbird pilot we're going to talk to in
twelve minutes. I have not lost my man card or
train of thought. I'm right there. So you got one

(05:11):
of these giant strollers and zero awareness or respect for
fellow human beings. That's the problem. That's when I suddenly
start getting some big opinions on these big strollers. Now,
if you've got the double decker because you've got twins
or triplets or whatever, take as much space as you need.

(05:32):
You know, that's that's your one. Mom, you got two
or three kids in one of those giant strollers, that
let me know what I can do to help. Now,
if you're just one of these moms with a kid
and a stroller who should absolutely be walking everywhere, But
I'm not going to ask little Lord Funknroy to walk anywhere.
He's got to have his stroller because he's going to

(05:55):
be looking at this phone or iPod or iPad or
whatever is right in his face the entire time, and
so he can't possibly walk because he's got an iPad
right in his face, he's watching the TV shows. We
paid a bunch of money to bring him here to
the theme park, so where he's just gonna sit there
and stare at his phone the entire time. So we
got to push him around. He's four, he could be walking,

(06:15):
but noon, no one's gonna ask him to do anything
like that, so we're just gonna truck him around, make
sure he's taken care of. Do you need any snacks, pumpkin.
Do you need anything to drink, darling? We have a
whole bunch of snacks and drinks right here. I've got
it all here. That's why the stroller is so big,
so just in case you need anything, little little honey, pumpkin.

(06:39):
This is very different from how we were raised. Once
we were able to walk, we walked before that. Our
parents maybe had an umbrella stroller. It's something about the
size of umbrella. You fold out, you sit down, and
the thing if you tip forward a little bit, you
fall in your face. Don't do that. Get back in
the stroller and stop crying. Wipe that blood off your face.
You're fine if you wanted something, if you liked but mommy,

(07:02):
I'm thirsty. Guess when we got something to drink when
we got home. I'm hungry. Guess when we got something
to eat? Dinner time. Scott Boys Mornings nine to eleven,
Our News Radio eleven ten KFAB