I Was Told This Show Was Kinda Funny

Which is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my radio show.  Let's see, we talked about Winner Take All, Kamala's bloodlust with a gun in her hand, and a bunch of other stuff which often devolved into Lucy and me just goofing off.  Total pros.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today's show is brought to you by a House of Pain.
If the show goes the way I hope it does,
we're gonna get out our seat and jump around. That
doesn't mean we're singing that for a karaoke Friday. I
don't think I'm not going out like no Punk. But
what I'm saying is I don't want to dwell on
any topic too long, So I want to jump around.

(00:20):
I want a lily pad. I want to jump from
lily pad to lily pad. I'm spending too much time
right now talking about So is Nebraska going to do
a winner take all approach to presidential elections? Every other
state does sept Maine up there eating their lobster rolls
in Baha Bah and doing the proportional electoral college vote.

(00:44):
Just in case you don't know what's going on here,
Nebraska has five electoral college votes, two that go to
the popular vote winner throughout the entire state, and then
one that goes to the popular vote winner in each
of Nebraska's re electoral college or congressional districts, including Nebraska's

(01:05):
A little Blue dot potentially Nebraska's second and the reason
why people like Clay Travis and buck Sexton and Senator
Lindsey Graham, who came to Nebraska this week to strong
arm Governor Pilling, is saying, look what you're gonna do,
like slamming his head against the desk. You're gonna give
us winner take all. We're not gonna lose this election
because of one electoral College vote coming from Omaha. You

(01:27):
got you peons here in Nebraska. Get on board, slamming
like you're holding his arm behind his back. Come on, Pilling, playball,
Come on Pilling. You know Lindsey Graham. He looks real
calm and has a nice demeanor. I tell you what,
don't tick that guy off. So he's up here. Probably

(01:48):
the way that meeting took place, A lot of people
don't know this because I'm making it up as I go.
Pilling was in his office doing governor's stuff, you know,
answering the phone, making sure there's enough toilet paper in
the bathroom, stuff that you know administrators do. And suddenly
some guys come in there, throw a bag over his head,
whisk him out of the Capitol building, throw him in

(02:09):
the back of a like a trunk of a car,
take him around a real convoluted way. So we can't
figure out where he's going. And then finally they strap him,
tie him to a chair, lift the bag off his head,
and there's Lindsey Graham almost visible in the darkness. All
you can see is like his cigarette that he's calmly,

(02:30):
you know, smoking, mister Anderson, Like, my name's Jim Pillen, right,
I know, I just like that movie line. I always
wanted to say that, mister Pillin. And then that's that's
when the torture started. And Pilling thus far has said

(02:50):
he's still not sure that he wants to do a
special session to force back all of these state senators
who just got out of a special session, which a
special session of the legislature is pretty rare that they
would all come back and do anything after their regular
legislative session, which is always special. I'm not going to

(03:15):
go further on that statement. Instead, we'll just keep plowing ahead.
Pillon says he's not sure he wants to bring these
guys back, especially since I presume he called the last
session because he thought he had the votes for real,
meaningful pill un approved property tax relief and he didn't,
and we didn't get much, you know, a little something

(03:36):
kind of but it didn't work out the way anyone
really hoped it would. And so now, why would he
do this again unless he is one one hundred and
ten percent sure that he's got enough state senators to
go in there and do the votes to put Nebraska
on line with every other state except Maine to award

(03:57):
all of its electoral college votes to whoever wins the
popular vote in the state congressional district. Be darn now.
Jane Kleb, head of the Nebraska State Democratic Party, says,
this is terrible. This is an affront to how democracy
should work. Interesting to note that she's not going out
to any of the other forty eight states that do

(04:17):
a winner take all thing and say and U states
should do what Nebraska does because it's so fair. Because
if that were the case, then Trump would be collecting
electoral college votes in New York and California, some of
these really strong, reliable blue states. But there are pockets
by congressional district, and they've got a lot of congressional districts,

(04:39):
a lot more than Nebraska's three, that would award these
votes to Trump. So it's interesting to note that Democrats
are saying, oh, these Republicans and they're trying to change
the elect Nebraska's got the right way of doing it.
Oh does that mean that California and New York should
do it? Oh? No, no, no, no, that would that'd
be a terrible idea. Does that mean if you go

(04:59):
into a place like Oregon and say we should do
like Nebraska does because the cities there they're very, very blue,
but the giant rural area of that state's very red,
and they really don't get a vote because of how
they do it. I've said it before, I'll say it again.
I think Nebraska does it the right way. Now trumpy

(05:23):
people say that's terrible only because Nebraska's one electoral College
vote from the second district. This blue dot maybe you've
seen the signs might give Kamala Harris the vote she
needs to be the next president of the United States.

(05:43):
So a couple of things on this is the governor
going to call a special session right now? He says
he's not. It all seems to hinge on one guy
who happens to be the one guy I told you
about three or four weeks ago on this show who
I said a little birdie told me that State Senator

(06:03):
Mike McDonald of Omaha, former fire chief, fire union president,
potential mayoral candidate in Omaha. I said, what I hear
is there are a lot of people Republican people leaning
on Mike McDonald really hard, saying you need to take
the lead on this. You need to be the vote,
You need to be the guy that makes Nebraska a winner,

(06:25):
take all and delivers all of Nebraska to Republicans. If
you do that, we will support you from mayor like
big time, statewide, known deep pocketed Republicans, longtime Republican people
and the people who write them checks have allegedly told
Mike McDonald that, now, meanwhile over here is Omaha mayor

(06:47):
Jean Stouth. She's always been a Republican. I know there's
some Trump people who are like, yeah, I understand, but
she's always She didn't just decide to become a Republican
a few months ago, like Mike McDonald, and I think
most Republicans, by virtue of not just my opinion or
even anecdotally, but you look at what's happened in her

(07:08):
reelection bids from mayor Republicans, independence and Democrats have felt
like she's done a good job. Why would the state
Republican Party take that reliability and popularity and put it
behind Mike McDonald for one electoral College vote. Either they
really do think it's that important. They can see, well,

(07:28):
if this happens, and that happens, and then this person
takes this state and that one does this, well, it
could very well come down to Nebraska's second district. Maybe
they see it happen in that way. Maybe the polls
really look like it could be that one vote from Nebraska.
I will tell you this, I see those polls. I
understand where they say that. But these same people say

(07:48):
this every four years and it's never even close. It
just seems like something to talk about, especially here in Nebraska,
or about Nebraska. Me. I'd rather talk Nebraska football. But
right now we're talking about this type of big red
grande de rouge. There's a little mixed foreign language for
you keep up. So either they think this is really

(08:10):
going to happen, or here's another possibility. It's all crap.
It's never going to happen. These big time state Republicans
are not going to support Mike McDonald. And right now,
Mike McDonald, through a spokesperson, says he's heard a lot
of compelling arguments from both sides, and as of today,
he doesn't feel like Nebraska needs to change now. Is

(08:35):
there a deadline for this? Yes? When is it? I
think it's even like the morning of election day, November fifth.
Nebraska can up until we have election day make this,
make this change. So here as we sit on September twentieth,

(08:57):
it doesn't look likely, but boy, there's a lot of
pressure on these guys. Last thing on this topic. What
if every state apportioned their electoral College votes by congressional district,
with a couple going to the popular winner of the

(09:19):
popular vote winner of the entire state. What if all
the states did it like Nebraska and Maine do it,
and it was the twenty twenty election, which was either
an overwhelming victory for President Joe Biden or a rigged
election according to former President Donald Trump. What if all
the states did it? What would happen? Who would be

(09:41):
the President of the United States? Joe Biden changes a
little bit. Honestly, it doesn't change that much. Biden still
wins by a slightly narrower result. He gets two hundred
and seventy seven electoral College votes. He only needs two seventy,

(10:03):
so it's it brings it back in line. But now
I know I can hear what you're saying. I hear
you getting mad and yelling at the radio. Going twenty
twenty is not a fair look at it. These guys
were bringing in votes. Watch the Dinesh de suz A movie.
It hasn't come out yet. Calm down, by the way,
He's got a new movie coming out called Vindicating Trump.

(10:25):
And I think they take a look at some of
these accusations that previously only Mike Lindell was kind of
sort of able to do before. They put him a
bag over his head and it wasn't it was a
pillowcase over his head and took him away. But Biden
still wins. If if every state does it like Nebraska does,
it's a little closer, but Biden still won. Maybe the

(10:48):
question should be which is the most fair way of
doing it. People say we need to get rid of
the electoral college and just go to popular vote. These
people are morons who say that. These people or absolute
morons who don't understand how this representative Republic is set up.
They think we're in a democracy, and they think Trump
is a threat to democracy. Because of all the democracy

(11:11):
that we lost during the four years of President Trump,
when you're supposed to forget that that didn't happen and
not vote for him again. So right now, despite all
this pressure on Nebraska, it doesn't look like they're going
to do a winner take all thing. But it also

(11:33):
here's one other possibility that comes down on Mike McDonald.
It could be he's just holding out to see what
he can get. He's like, Wow, it seems like you
guys think I'm pretty important and you're offering me this
if I were to run for mayor, maybe you're offering
me that maybe our firefighters in Omaha should have a
few more staff members and a raise and better health

(11:55):
care benefits and more time paid time off. Maybe I
want to vote. I don't know what the guy's asking for,
but there might be people right now coming up with
a corn Husker kickback to try and convince McDonald to
play ball before Lindsey Graham has to come in here
and put the jumper cables on Jim Pillen's nipples again.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
Scott boorhees where you're going.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
News Radio eleven ten kfab and that wasn't as a
form of torture. That was just for fun. I don't
know who it was fun for. I'd like to spend
just an hour just talking about some of the commercials
that are on this radio station. It should be an
even worse idea than Kamala Harris telling Oprah someone comes
in my house, they're getting shot. I'm laying some busters down.

(12:41):
With direct quote from yesterday's Oprah meeting, I'll tell you
this about the commercials though. One the phrase wet AMD
creeps me out.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
Yeah, I don't think you're alone.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
It creeps me out. And the TV commercial with the
guy talking about is wet AMD where he's opening up.
They're ripping open the time space continuum in the space
like in the shape of an eyeball and walking through it.
It's just the whole thing creeps me out. And I
wasn't one of those who got creeped out like some
people did of the toenail fungus commercials.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
Ew.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
I like those guys. No, those guys are fun. They're
in there just drilling away underneath your toenail, scratching up,
digging like a dog. I love those guys. But the
wet AMD it's just a creepy call. It something else,
call it anything else. That's just a horrible name. I

(13:35):
hope I never get it, just because I won't. I
won't want to deal with that. I'll have to make
my doctor like, can you call it plato? You have plato?
You have eyeplato? Oh that sounds fun. How do we
treat it? Wet AMD? Is there such thing as dry AMD?
Tall another commercial I don't even know what the client is.

(13:55):
It starts off with the guy calling his buddy, going, hey, buddy,
let's go love you man. Hey, don't forget your knee brace.
You're an old guy. Hey, I love you man. I'm like,
that's gonna be a long four hours of golf with
that guy, because that guy's always that guy. You know, like,
have a couple of beers with that guy, you spend
forty five minutes. It's like, glad I hung out with

(14:17):
that guy.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
What's his name?

Speaker 1 (14:18):
But four hours with that guy? How the commercial starts, well,
what's the guy's name? I don't know?

Speaker 3 (14:25):
Who do you golf with?

Speaker 1 (14:26):
It's like, no, no, Well, every once in a while,
every once in a while people have to golf with me.
And I'm sure there's some people like he's a bit much.
But uh, just that, like that guy just calmed down.
You're leaving. First of all, you're leaving a voicemail. This
could have been a text. There's a reason the guy
didn't answer the phone. He saw that come up. He's like, yeah,
I I know. Oh, by the way, I did. Think

(14:50):
of who that guy is, and I'm not gonna say
it's not someone i'd play golf with a lot. All right,
it's not you. If you're listening, certainly not you. It
might be you. And the Kamala Harris commercials. Holy cow,
the Kamala Harris commercials. People have been calling and yelling
at our sales manager and general manager here at the

(15:11):
radio station. How dare you? I didn't know that KFAB
supported Kamala Harris for president. Look, if we don't run
these paid commercials, then we get a fine from the FCC.
That's not just true for HER's. It really has to
do with there's a little bit of an asterisk in

(15:34):
there when it comes to viable candidates and who gets
to place what adds. I'll let them, I'll let those
experts tell you about it. But the bottom line is
is that Kamala Harris wants to spend a bunch of
money during the Clay and Buck Show and Jesse Kelly
Show to try and get you to vote for her
and not Trump, and she and they think that's a
good use of it, that's a great expenditure of funds.

(15:55):
Then just smile and say, Wow, she's blowing. I shouldn't
say any of this ton of money. But I don't know.
I don't know. I presume that people buy ads on
this radio station for the same reason that other people
bought ads in this radio station, because they work if
done the right way. So maybe there are people listening

(16:19):
to Jesse Kelly who say no, no, Yeah, there are
different A bunch of people listening to Jesse, myself included.
I was laughing at him last night and the way
home from this event, I had a chance to do
last night, a great fundraiser for the Warhawk PTSD Service
Dogs at the beautiful Benson Theater. It was a great time.
Jimmy Weber was up there playing guitar. Brian Lydgitt was

(16:41):
up there playing guitar. I jumped on stage and sang
a song no one asked me to. It was fun.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
You do that a lot.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, And I was listening to Jesse on the way
home and laughing, and then I heard the Kamala commercial
and I was like, really, people just heard Jesse Kelly
do a twelve minute rant on how awful she is.
And it was like, I'm Kamala Harris doing my best
to sound like Donald or sound like Barack Obama. I've
gone through all the same training. I've sat down, I've

(17:07):
studied the speech patterns. I'm basically like Robert de Narrow,
trying to get involved in a character role. And I
think that those wealthy Americans should pay a little bit
more like, Wow, she's nailing it. You look at her anymore,
she's just Obama. Hey, Kama, I got a question for you.

(17:30):
You didn't build that. She's doing great. So for people
calling our radio station yelling at our management, how dare
you put those ads on here? We have to for her,
and we get to we get to for everyone. We're
very blessed to be able to be a conveyor of messages. There.

(17:51):
I think that's all the commercials I want to talk about.
Mostly though, I'm just I don't like the phrase wet AMD.
That's really all I wanted to say in this segment.
Apparently Fox News Update. In just a moment, Scott Bories,
News Radio eleven ten kfab.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
What do you want me to do?

Speaker 2 (18:08):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (18:08):
So now suddenly I matter?

Speaker 1 (18:10):
No, I just wanted to know what happened if I
didn't turn my mic on. Just pointed at you and said, go.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
Oh well, I could come up with all kinds of stuff,
but I don't think you'd really want to hear it.
Please do I don't think you want to hear it.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
I didn't even want to come into work today, so
I don't want to. You do you do? You? You
do whatever you want?

Speaker 3 (18:29):
Go, okay, well we can talk about the Uh.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Don't say we can talk about it, just talk about it.
I just go. I don't want to interrupt you. Go.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
I was busy doing other stuff and I am not
so much. You're jumping around, and I was wondering when
you were going to jump after this last episode.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
You know what I was thinking about yesterday? What let
me do? Let me try and act like a radio
host for just a second. Hi there, Scott Bor, he's
here with Lucy Chapman on news radio eleven ten KFAB.
Yesterday we swerved into talking about Reo Speedwagon and we
played a little bit of role with the changes, and
it reminded me of one of my favorite mornings in radio.
I hadn't been here very long, and Gary and Jim

(19:08):
both had the day off, huh. And so I'm sitting
over here being Gary, and Roger Olsen is over there
being Jim, and Lucy's over there being Lucy, And like
the first we have a rotation. We have lots of
different numbers on our computer, and each one of them
has one hundred and fifty cuts. And this is our

(19:29):
what's called in the biz, our bumper music rotation. So
we allegedly have we allegedly have hundreds of songs that
bring us back from commercial breaks. That's why it's funny
that I always hear Ben caught stealing by Jane's addiction,
like all the time. I'm like, how I hear that,
I hear dissident by Pearl Jam way too much.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
Check the rotation percentage on it.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
I know, but that's only you should only have to
do that if you add more stuff to that. But
those cuts are they're all full up except for maybe
a couple I've taken out because people are like that's
too loud, and like that probably is we'll get some
of that. So anyway, the first one in the rotation
in the morning was Roll with the Changes by Rio Speedwagon,
and I just enjoyed it. I thought, yeah, what a

(20:16):
great way to start the morning. So then we talk,
I go to break come back from the break, I thought,
you know what would be funny. I'm gonna come back
with Roll with the Changes from Rio Speedwagon and I'm
just gonna keep doing that to see if anybody notices.
And it took about five or six plays over the

(20:38):
course of an hour before finally in the studio, Roger
Olsen's looking at me because I'm having a hard time
containing my laughter. I'm the only one who knows that
for the last hour, the only song coming back from
break has been Rolled with the Changes by Ario Speedwagon.
And he's looking at me with a look like is
there something wrong? And then he realizes, oh, oh, you're

(21:00):
messing with us. Then I started getting some emails from people,
is your music rotation broken? Why am I only hearing
Ario Speedway? But there was one person all morning who
didn't get it. For the entire four hours of the
radio show, who you? And for the last hour and

(21:24):
a half of the show. We're just coming back from
break and Roger and I are we can't talk, We're
laughing so hard. We're trying to come back and talk,
you know, like talk with Courtney from Bloomberg or whatever.
And then you know, we're coming back here and it's
just a lot of all Right here we are on

(21:47):
kfab's Morning News, and I can't talk because I'm laughing,
Roger's crying, laughing, and we're looking at you and you're
just looking at us, like, what is the matter with you? Guys?
I think you thought we were high or drunk. No,
I just couldn't stop thinking how funny that was.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
I think that I don't want to think that people
are laughing at me. And so when somebody's laughing and
I don't know why and I'm in the room, I
pretend that like they're not. So I pretended like you
weren't laughing at me.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
Well, you're so busy over there during the morning show
doing all the all that traffic stuff. It takes a
lot of work to look and see where traffic is
slow at the exact same time every day. You know,
not everyone can do that. Wow, you want to talk
about Kamala Harris.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
No, I want to talk about this.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
You do a great job with traffic. I'm kidding. I'm
joking with you.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
No, I don't want to talk about traffic. I want
to tell you a very funny quick story.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
So I'm having a conversation last night with mister Chapman.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Mister Chapman.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
It's a kind of a series.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
We can sell him by his first name once while
it's Tracy Tracy, and people are like the singer, like, no,
that's a different that's a girl, and you're married a
guy named Tracy Chaplin. Tracy can be a guy's name.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
Tracy can be a guy's name. So it's kind of
a you know, a semi serious conversation. I'm listening. I'm
paying attention to what he's saying in his phone.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
Is he saying, I feel like you're not respected enough
at work? Yeah? Is that? What? Is that? The conversation? Again?

Speaker 3 (23:20):
To let him talk? All right, you're right, you're right.
I just agree with all of it. So his phone beeps,
he's getting a text, and he looks at it, and
in my head, I'm thinking really, and then he says, oh,
hang on a second, it's deb Fisher, she really needs
to talk to me.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Spam calls and that was it.

Speaker 3 (23:44):
Conversation over. I'm falling down laughing.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Here's another true story, so serious. I'm leaving the radio
station last night to go up to Benson at this
event at the Benson Theater for the Warhawk PTSD Service
Dog Organization. It's a great org organization. They provide therapy
and service dogs for not just veterans, but all people
with various forms of PTSD. It's great. As I'm leaving,

(24:08):
who comes and knocking on the front door to get
out of the heat. But Senator dev Fisher apparently no.
She had she had to record something and she was
using our studios and producer Matt Knewitt, so he led
her in. I'm leaving and going who's here? After like
six fifteen on a Thursday, she comes walking up the
stairs like, hey, Senator, how you doing? So I talked

(24:30):
to her and she goes, what are you still doing here?
So I got an event in Benson and she goes
what's it for? And I said it's for PTSD therapy dogs,
mostly for veterans. She goes, oh, what a great cause.
I said, no, no, no, we're against it. We don't like
those dogs or the veterans they serve. And she said, yeah, terrible,
cause I don't like him either. I'm like And meanwhile,

(24:52):
her handler, who doesn't realize honestly, how ornery dev Fisher
can be. Her handler is like looking around for live
my microphones, like we're gonna get so much trouble. You
can't say that, which brings us to Kamala Harris. I
shouldn't have said that gun own a gun, know that

(25:14):
house to getting shot. Yes, yes, I hear that.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
I hear that.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Probably should not have said that.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah. First of all, I'll tell Kamala Harris and Oprah
Winfrey the same thing I tell all women ladies, one
at a time, so they're both talking at the same time.
And what you almost heard during that conversation, which, by
the way, that was most of the conversation, just two
ladies fighting for talk time. Uh, what she said was like,

(25:49):
I'm a gun owner, Tim Wallas is a gun owner.
And then she just volunteered if someone breaks into my house,
they're getting shot laughter laughter, laughter, laughter, And then she said,
I probably shouldn't have said that. Why. First of all,
all right, first of all, what she should have said

(26:09):
was if someone breaks into my house, they're getting shot.
They're not gonna be able to just hang around talk
to me for a little bit, wait for the cops
to show up. The cops talk to him for a
little bit. He looks around for something to maybe kind
of sort of hit me with, like maybe a hammer.
He allowed me to call the police, saying, I'm struggling

(26:29):
with the guy who's hitting me with a hammer. This
goes on for fifteen minutes, then the police show up.
You know, it's not like Nancy Pelosi's husband. Weird, really
weird situation. If someone breaks into my house, they're getting shot.
And then she said, I probably shouldn't have said that.
Why shouldn't you have said that? What's wrong with saying

(26:49):
that if someone breaks into your house. I'm fine with
you saying say hello to my little friend and then
just laying some busts down, just laying waste fools. But
why does she feel like she can't say that?

Speaker 3 (27:03):
Because if it's true, then she has just made liberals
democrats very upset who are very anti gun. And if
it's a lie, then she has just empowered more Republicans.
So that's why she shouldn't have said it. And if
I was sitting there, my first question would be sick.
I would have said, really, what kind of gun do

(27:27):
you have?

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Right, it's a caliber on. I've got a magnum Pi.
And there's your eighties movie reference for this segment of
the radio program. Here's a hint. It's not a reference
to the TV show magnum Pi. I mean it is,
but it isn't.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
Joe Dirt.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
That's not a real gun. Yeah it is. It's a
magnum Pi. Joe Dirt vacation, National Lampoon's Vacation.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
Joe Dirt was a good guest, some sporting goods.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Joe Dirt, best radio guest of all time. You're gonna
sit there and tell me you don't got any bung whistlers,
No Husker dudes, Husker dunes. So I was thinking I
probably shouldn't have said that, because now if someone, let's say,
someone breaks into her house, Kamala Harris shoots him, doesn't

(28:15):
you know she probably I don't know what kind of
good shot. She gets down the stands, dives behind the couch,
jumps up going freeze, sucker bang bang bang. You know,
I don't know what kind of moves. She's got I
suspect not many, so she fires a barrage of bullets
at this guy's like, am I getting shot at by
Kamala Harris? Is this her host? And he gets nicked

(28:36):
and wounded a couple of times. Well, now he can sue,
saying it was premeditated. She was gonna shoot somebody if
they broke in, And right now there's probably a lawyer,
God rest his soul, James Barton Davis, there's a lawyer
somewhere willing to take up that case. Kamala Harris was
just wanting to shoot somebody. She's bloodthirsty. That woman.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
Our judicial to them is so jacked.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
I know you can see that, right. Well, you're right too,
you're right too, and that there are people who are
inclined to vote for her, saying I don't think she
should be laughing about shooting people. Yeah, what are these
people do? Someone breaks into their house and they're left
there with their rainbow flags and incense and they just

(29:25):
like I would throw these crystals at you, But they're
aligned in such a way as to give me the
best and most positive gi and be there for my chakras.
Plus I just energize them in the sun all day,
so if I touch them and throw them at you,
it's not gonna work. They've got their little they've got dogs,
but they're like little dogs that keep in purses. So

(29:46):
what are they gonna do? As Kamala Harris says, you
break into my house, you're getting shot laughter, laughter, laughter. Yeah,
that's that's the question I wish Oprah would have asked, Oh, really,
what kind of gun do you have? It's not a

(30:08):
military style assault rifle, which she said again after all
of that, she said that assault style rifles, which you
know in an assault style rifle is right. I can't
even say it. I'm so scared of it. It's just
a rifle, and if you use it to assault someone,
then it becomes an assault rifle. You mean, like, if
you use it to defend yourself, then it's a defense rifle.

(30:30):
Lesser known term apparently. Yeah, but she says they were
designed to kill as many people as possible on a battlefield,
and they don't belong on the streets of a civil society. Well,
take a look around, you, ellen, there's another vacation. That
one's Christmas vacation reference. I'll give you that one. We
don't have a civil society in all instances. And the

(30:51):
reason that some people have those types of firearms is
because the bad guys break into their house or their
business or setting fired their streets in their neighborhood. Have
those types of guns. Civil society. I know who I'm
calling though, if someone breaks in my house, I'm calling

(31:11):
Kamala Harris.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
Scott Boys News Radio eleven KFAB.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
They hear her laugh and then go, let's get out
of here. This isn't worth it. Let us see good morning.
What are you doing this weekend?

Speaker 3 (31:24):
Railroad Days?

Speaker 1 (31:26):
Who is it? Time for Railroad Days?

Speaker 3 (31:29):
All be out there tomorrow at the Railroad Museum at
the up in Council Bluffs.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
And Council Bluffs, the Council Bluff's location.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
Super excited because I have not been.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
Oh it's super cool, very very cool, great bit of
history around here. And you know, we take it for
granted here growing up in the Omaha Council Bluffs area,
But there are railroad enthusiasts who come here and they
see the Railroad Days Museum and Council Bluffs. They see

(31:57):
what we have here at the Durham where you can
go down there and walk on the old two to
one train cars and you know, tell some kids that
it says like don't crawl on this, and there's like
nine kids crawling on it, Like get over there. It's history.
This is why it's all the it's all torn up.
You know, it's mostly I'm talking to my kids while

(32:18):
doing that. My kids are both high schoolers now. They
still love going to the Durham Museum, getting a milkshake
at the old soda fountain counter and then just running
up and down the trains, knocking people out of their way.
And it's they're too big now for it to be cute.
I mean, isn't that What is the cutoff? When you've
got like this little three year old just yay, running

(32:40):
and toddling and bouncing off of people, and you're like, oh,
they're so enthusiastic, that's great. And then when they're doing
it at thirteen.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
Now here's the part of the show where Lucy says
she's glad she doesn't have kids.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
That's when you end up calling the police.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
I would say the cutoff is generally four, but you've
got that a little bit of time within the zero
to four where they're not cute to anybody, not even
their parents.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
Wow, you're wrong all the time, and you've never been
more wrong. You know what the cutoff is?

Speaker 3 (33:08):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (33:09):
Never? If you, as a year old who want to
go and just run up and down the train cars,
you should do it. Maybe take care not to know.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
Don't ask me what the cutoff that they were cute still.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
Or I think what I meant was where it's acceptable
or it's cute therefore makes it acceptable. And I'm saying
it's any age. If you see little kids running up there,
you're like, all the innocence of the excitement. I'd give
anything to be half as excited about anything as they
are about everything. And then they're running up and down

(33:48):
as fourteen year olds, like those little disrespectful little punk right.
And then they're doing it as twenty four year olds
and like, oh, this is one of those things like
I saw on YouTube. It's a flash mob. Everything's getting
stolen and you're just handing over your jewels and they're like, no, no,
we're just excited to run up and down the trains.
And then they're doing it like in their like thirties, forties, fifties.

(34:09):
You're like, oh, that's that's some sort of midlife crisis
or mental health problem. And then when they do it
as they get older, you know, like their eighties, their nineties,
then it's like, oh, someone needs to throw a coat
over that lady and call her family because she's escaped.

Speaker 3 (34:27):
When we said about me, when we should.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
Just look at all of it for what it is.
The excitement of running up and down old train cars.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
So what are you doing this weekend?

Speaker 1 (34:38):
I'm going to the Durham Museum.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
Now you have to.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
I'm gonna get all looped up on chocolate malts and
I'm gonna run up and down the train cars.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
When does the tree get there?

Speaker 1 (34:50):
They've been using this a dirty little secret because everyone
talks about like, oh, I love the Durham Museum. When's
the last time you were there? I'm there all the time,
and like they haven't been for eight year. You don't
know this, But it's still the same tree. It's just
been sitting there dying.

Speaker 3 (35:04):
It's all is painted green.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
Yeah, they just spray painted every year. It's a huge
fire hazard. And uh yeah, it's just the same tree.
They've been using it for eight years. That you know why,
because I'm running the Durham Museum. Now, so every year
just after the holidays, my wife and I bought the
Durham Museum. A lot of people don't know this. We

(35:27):
bought the Durham Museum. And my wife says, all right, well,
it's time to take the tree down, Like, why would
I take the tree down? We're just gonna have to
get another one and put it up again in just
a few months from now. It's fine, it's not hurting anybody.
Just leave it there. Did anyone else have her? Have
a grandma who got tired of taking the fake Christmas
tree and putting it up, decorating it and then taking

(35:50):
it down. So what she decided to do was just
decorate it now for the seasons. It's now just part
of her annual decor for any holiday, and they just
hang different due Dad's on it based in the time
of year. It is like, right now, you've got like
some probably the Halloween stuff on there, some fall colors
with leaves and stuff like that, and then they take
that down, put the tinsel and the garland up, and

(36:12):
it's a Christmas tree. And then after that it's like
some pinks for Valentine's Day, it's green for Saint Patrick's,
I mean red, white and blue. It's now just an
all seasons fun artificial tree there in the corner that
she doesn't want to keep putting in the box and
taking it down because it's hard to get the one
area like pull it off the other one and and

(36:33):
you know what, we're just gonna leave it. I like it.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
And if it's pre lit, once you unplug those sections,
you'll never find the where they plug back in again.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
Not at all. So did anyone else's grandma ever do that?

Speaker 3 (36:45):
I don't do that, and I'm not a grandma. I
don't do that. But I have a tree that I
don't undecorate.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
Now here's the part of the show where Lucy says
she's glad she doesn't have grandkids. You do that, don't you.
You've got a tree that's just still sitting there. Except
the difference I put it away. The difference is is
it was a real Christmas tree and it's just they're
decaying in your living room.

Speaker 3 (37:09):
Got my idea from the Durham what's the.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
Difference between a living room and a family room?

Speaker 3 (37:13):
Living room is where you receive guests.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
I thought that was the TV in there I thought
that was the foyer.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
Well that's only if you don't want them past your front.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Door, which goes into the sitting room.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
I don't that's the music room.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
I realized how rude I was the other day when
my my neighbor came by and she's never come and
knocked on our door. And I was immediately like, what's
this about? And rather than say hey, come on in,
I stepped out of my house and onto the porch
to talk to her outside.

Speaker 3 (37:44):
Oh my gosh, you're that neighbor. I well, you know what,
you know what if you don't one hundred percent know somebody,
I would do the same thing.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
I like her, Fine, I don't know her real Well,
she's a good neighbor. And she came over she's never
come over before, and I figured, all right, well my
house is on fire or something. I should probably be
outside for this. I didn't get the impression she was
looking to be invited in and offered hot chocolate.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
Well, I hope not. Yesterday it was ninety five hundred degrees.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
I forget who listens to this show, because mostly I
think who would. The other day I mentioned on the
radio that I don't know we were talking about nicknames,
and I said, since my name is Scott, my nickname
Scooter by virtue of being Scooter, I said, no one
calls me Scooter anymore except mister D when he sees me,
going Hey Scooter. I haven't seen mister D in a

(38:39):
disturbingly long amount of time. Mister D used to run
a record shop, and he's the dad of a girl
I grew up with in the neighborhood. Super great guy,
wonderful family. And then he ran a record shop, and
so he was still doing all that, and I would
see him when they used to do like pop up
record shows. They do him at like the Holodome or

(39:01):
at the Firefighters Union hall, and i'd see him for
years after that. But I haven't seen him in so long. Well,
guess who happened to be listening the other day when
I mentioned that on the radio. Not him, He hadn't listened,
but his wife does, and she said, I think they
were talking about you on the radio. So I got
this wonderful voicemail, Hey Scooter, like mister D.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
That's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Always my measurement as to who's listening to this radio station?
How long does it take to get back to them
when I say their name on the radio. Here's another one.
Congratulations to Lindsey Wilson. Lindsey Wilson is a seventh grade
teacher at just says Bennington. Is it Bennington Middle School?

Speaker 3 (39:49):
Or is it like uh, I'm hearing from the news department,
is middle school?

Speaker 1 (39:52):
Okay? I thought maybe they just renamed it like Barack
Obama Middle School of Bennington or something, or this preemptive, like,
let's get ahead of this. The Kamala Harris School for
Gifted Children in Bennington. And she's the seventh grade teacher
there in Bennington, and she's just been named Nebraska Teacher
of the Year. Congratulations by the Nebraska Department of Education.

(40:17):
She teaches seventh grader. I don't know. I don't think
I clipped enough of the story to find out what
she actually teaches. But it says here that she is
honored for a dedication her knowledge and ability to inspire
her students. And I look at this and I think,

(40:38):
good for her, good for or missus Wilson, And then
I think that's the Madden curse. That's the Madden curse.
Does this require some explanation? Yes, When you are put
on the cover of the Madden video game. This is
the annual Xbox, PlayStation whatever video game where it's NFL

(41:02):
football game. And every year the new Madden game comes
out and one of the best and most popular players
is put there on the cover of the Madden video
game box and it seems like almost instantaneously, that person
breaks his whole body, like suddenly it's just hit by
one of those trains that you're celebrating this weekend and

(41:25):
is like on all the different ventilators and everything. They're
keeping them alive by virtue of whatever machines they can
get their hands on, because that's what happens when you
go on the Madden game. You're guaranteed to at least
like get a bad case of turf toe. Something happens,
and you're pretty much out for that season. Same thing
with Teacher of the Year. How many times do you

(41:46):
see a story that says a teacher turns out she
was throwing virgins into a volcano. This teacher was recently
named teacher of the Year in Alabama. You know it's
all what you mentioned that, Yeah, all the time. So
I don't know how long we have until it's like
recently named Nebraska Teacher of the Year, Lindsey Wilson was

(42:07):
just picked up by police in Springfield, Ohio eating Haitians.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
Scott Voice, News Radio eleven ten.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
Happens every time. Every time clay Anderson heard us talking
about the Railroad Museum, the Durham Museum, He's like, now,
do the sac Aerospace Museum like he wants me to like.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
It's also a very cool place.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
He wants us to roast the Sack Aerospace Museums. You
can stop by the Sack Museum this weekend. Nebraska astronaut
Clayton Anderson is going to be out there personally showing
you how they use the restroom in space. It's an
amazing display. The kids love it. I hope not. And
then I'd mentioned mister D and the Jason sent me

(42:53):
an email via the Zonker's custom Woods inbox and said,
I haven't seen mister D for a while because I'm
a belly And I paused for a second and then
I got it, and I thought, I don't.

Speaker 3 (43:04):
And you've repeated it.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Oh yeah, because I I'm always proud and ashamed of
what we've cultivated here. Mornings nine to eleven on News
Radio eleven ten kfab you know who I feel really
bad for. Let's keep talking about space for a second.
The story this week. Over the past week, it's been

(43:27):
an amazing succession of stories on this front. They had
the first ever spacewalk by a private citizen. Remember this
happened a week ago, the SpaceX exploration. The expedition, I
should say, had these very rich people get all the training,

(43:48):
not just to get you know, fired up in a
rocket and you know, go way above the clouds and
be able to look and for a moment there it
got kind of dark and you could see maybe a
little bit of curvature of the Earth, and then you
plummet back towards Earth and you think, is this gonna work?
Or is this gonna be like that Titanic submersible? Are
we just gonna go pop? And then that's the rest
of it. William Shatner's in that thing. We got to

(44:10):
get these guys home safely. It's not like that they
actually were up and had a chance to spacewalk where
they were outside the module. Right now, Klay Anderson's yelling
at the radio, going it's not a module. They're outside
this space ship and they're tethered to it, and they've

(44:33):
got all the stuff on so they're able to not
only breathe, but not suddenly float away into the abyss,
which I forced Gary Sadlemayer to think about last week
he was talking about these guys space walking. I said,
how long? Because I'm thinking that the breathing apparatus and

(44:55):
everything is attached to you. It's not like the tethering
rope is just a rope, so you don't float off
into space. But in my scenario, which I don't think
is accurate, but follow me, you have all this stuff
on to help you breathe, and you've got enough oxygen
for a week, and the rope comes loose right around

(45:19):
the time someone is going I thought you said you
knew how to tie this type of not. Yeah, I said,
I do not know how to tie this knot. And
then you realize that this slip news or the sailor's
not or whatever is just come loose, and this guy
is drifting helplessly into space. And I'm thinking, how long

(45:44):
can you say alive? Because you probably didn't put any
snacks or water in there, so now you're subjected to
how long you can survive without food? And water and
how much oxygen you have, how much oxygen you have
there in your spacesuit as you're drifting for they're and
further away, helplessly into space. And I couldn't think whether

(46:06):
or not that would be an incredibly awesome way to
go or horrifying. I'm sure it'd be horrifying for a while,
but I mean, how long can you stay horrified you'd
be drifting. It'd be like nine hours later and finally
you're like, I might as well just enjoy this ride.
Next thing, you know, you bump into something. You turn around.

(46:29):
It's one of Saturn's rings and you're like, holy cow,
I'm standing on the rings and you're dancing around, Like
how cool would that be? I mean, it'd be terrible
but cool?

Speaker 3 (46:39):
Right, Well, astronaut Anderson could probably make a confirmer deny this.
I thought that if you don't have the air running
through your space suit, that it heats up very quickly
and you would kind of boil.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Yeah, but I don't want to think about you know,
someone up there.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
Well, I'm just saying you wouldn't get there for nine hours,
right either.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
You know, your oxygen to space ratio is off and
next thing you know, you're up there and you hear
the beeping of your pager going off, and.

Speaker 3 (47:12):
That's way better than what I said.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
People on the ground are looking up and they just
see a flash of light, like, ah, there goes Mike. Anyway,
I just wanted to think about drifting off into space.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
You do that every day?

Speaker 1 (47:27):
Who said that? So this billionaire who had a chance
to go and do the first private citizens spacewalk ever
is a billionaire named Jared Isaacman. And mister Isaacman, who's
a billionaire. How did this guy get Who is this guy?
How do he get his money? Is he a SpaceX guy?

(47:49):
Polaris that's the name of the ship. I don't know
who this guy is. He's forty one years old. He's
got enough money to just obviously he's not married, right,
I don't care how much money has Really, I'm gonna
spend a bazillion dollars just to go up and just
dance around in space.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
No, obviously he doesn't have kids.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
With my friends? Right. Anyway, he spends the money, he
gets up, there's fired off into space and he's up
there and it's the first spacewalk ever by a private citizen.
And then he comes back down and he had that
famous quote where I don't know who wrote this for him,
and he said, Earth sure looks like a perfect world.

(48:32):
He like, in other words, we have all this stuff
happening down here on Earth, but really, if you look
at it from the I don't know, one hundred and
thirty thousand foot view or whatever, you know, it just
it looks like a peaceful, perfect world and we should
enjoy it. But then, you know what he said after that,
what they're talking about, it like, all right, you've had
a few days to think about this. How was it?

(48:55):
And basically he said, like, eh, he spent all this money.
I don't know how much. He spent billions and billions
of moneies and he did this, and he was up there,
he was in space, tethered to a ship, a space ship.

(49:19):
He's a rocket man, burning out his fuse out here alone,
and he's looking he's able to see the Earth. He's like,
I can see my house from here. And meanwhile he's like, yeah,
you know, it was fine. Fine. You're on a very
very short list of people who have done this, and
the rest of them are all astronauts. And he was like, eh,

(49:44):
it was, it was great. I don't need to do
it again, but eh, it was fine. I'm glad I
did it. But oh well, like I know that it
sometimes in people's nature that you have something you're looking
forward to and maybe you build it up too much
and then you actually do it and you're like, oh,

(50:04):
this wasn't what I thought it was.

Speaker 3 (50:06):
A lot of people do that when they go to Disney, Right.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
That's exactly what I was gonna say. Oh, sorry, no, no,
I just think it's funny. We were going the same way,
like people say, Like, I thought it was gonna be great. Meanwhile,
it was just my kids were hot, and they were
wondering how long they had to stay there, Like stay here.
We're at Disney World and we're just standing in line forever.
You know, some guy in a mascot suit, you know,
can't see my kids. He's tripping over him. Everything costs

(50:29):
way too much and we only rode like three rides
because I'm too cheap to get the fast pass. And
I just, you know, thought the whole you know, I
understand that this guy was in space and he's like, eh,
what did he think it was? What did you think
was gonna happen up there. He was gonna go all
just gonna go all Shatner and like bed down a

(50:51):
hot alien chick. Tribles, tribbles.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
Don't don't make for music.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
Yeah don't. That's right, triples and bass notes. Don't let
the nerds down. If we lose them, we'll have nothing
left on this show.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
Scott voices news Radio eleven ten kfab.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
Casey emails and says, do you know the name of
the knot they use to tie off the spacewalkers? An astronut?

Speaker 3 (51:24):
Dad jokes he love them.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Casey says, I'm surprised you missed that one. I am
not that funny. That is a good joke. I anytime
someone tells me this lame dad joke, I roll my
eyes and think ugh, and I think I can't wait
to tell my kids. Lucy. We still got a problem
at one hundred and twentyeth in Center.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
Yes, westbound is shut down. No, at one hundred and
twenty fifth, it is a crash.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
How are you gonna get to the hitching post? Oh
my gosh, how are you gonna get to Homer's No,
you would.

Speaker 3 (51:58):
Have been past it already. Westbound wasn't it at one
hundred and twentieth.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
It's one hundred thirty seconds. Okay, how are you gonna
get to the Oak Few mall and hang out with
all the kids that go hang out there constantly? Hi,
I'm Scott for Hees. I am permanently in trench somewhere
around nineteen ninety four. Thank you very much for listening.
I will not grow up or update my references beyond then.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
And you're fat?

Speaker 1 (52:24):
What?

Speaker 3 (52:25):
I love that commercial that just aired?

Speaker 1 (52:26):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (52:28):
I love it?

Speaker 1 (52:29):
I know, I do love that guy. He's a great dude,
by the way. And yes, commercials for high tech weight loss.
It's the holidays are coming up, and you're fat.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Yeah, I'm calling them.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
That's a good one. Yes, that's a good one. Got
an email and this will just put this under the
category if you know, you know, but Rob just send
me an email and says, Grandpa, can you with me
a story? Sorry? You know, Grandpa's gonna die any minute now.
Like what? And he's reading that, he's reading that little

(53:08):
Boy Rapunzel. I'm like, you know what, I was just
dressing drag. We're talking about the advertisers today, call in,
don't We're not sorry, my sales managers having some sort
of way hues. I know, it's just well, hey, it's

(53:28):
an extra. It's to get your attention. Right. We're not
gonna sit here all day and talk about the commercials
because I would rather be the best than apologize for
anything less. Morning, Darcy, Are you a pusher, lifter or tilter?

Speaker 3 (53:52):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
That's exclusively between five and five thirty am. They have
their own crop of ads in that slot that air
every two and a half minutes. I don't know how
that happens, but we need to talk about something else. Lucy,
stop it jump what? Oh right, that's right. We're gonna
jump around a lot today. This woman in Bangkok was

(54:19):
preparing to do the evening dishes. Yeah, it was just no.
I think she's been there for her whole life. Whole
life in Bangkok. Not as big a song as One
Night in Bangkok by the great name the.

Speaker 3 (54:32):
Artist Timbuck two.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
Oh that was tim Buck three? Who did my Future
so bright? I gotta wear shades?

Speaker 3 (54:40):
Oh I can't.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
The name you're looking for is Murray murray Head. Taco
did putting on the Ritz Murray Head One night in Bangkok.
I get my kicks above the waistline. Sunshine, This woman
preparing to do the evening dishes. It doesn't say that
anyone in her family. He was gonna help her. Ah,

(55:01):
the plight of women in Bangkok. When she felt a
sharp pain in her thigh and looked down, and what
do you think? It was.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
A alligator?

Speaker 1 (55:19):
You're in the right classification, but wrong animal. It was
as you would describe a nope, rope. Oh and a
big one estimated to be sixteen foot long. It was
a python. And you think I didn't know python's bit.
I thought they were constrictors.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
No, they bite to get you to stop so they
can constrict.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
That is how it starts, apparently, And she was probably
thinking that, arms folded, looking down, I write, what time?
Why are you biting me?

Speaker 3 (55:50):
Right?

Speaker 1 (55:51):
I thought you were a constrictor. First you wrap yourself
around me and squeeze the life out of me, and
then you begin the process of swallowing me all why
are you biting me? And the Python's like, you're right sorry,
released the thigh and began wrapping itself around her as
apparently she was standing. How and if you look down

(56:12):
and there's a python biting like chewing on you like
you're a cat in Springfield, Ohio. Don't you pretty much
just hit the ceiling and take the python or whatever
with you. But these things are fast. I mean they
have to wrap themselves around hippopotamusis or something they I mean,
these they've got to move. So she has this python

(56:35):
latches on and then quickly wraps around her, coils around
her torso, squeezing her. Now she's on the floor of
her kitchen. She can't get up, and she's like punching
it in the head. Let go, I said, but it
wouldn't release, it only tightened, all right, Stop punching it.

(56:57):
And then she's now wondering like, am I gonna die
from the venom? Oh wait a second, I remember what
I learned growing up here at Bangkok Middle School. Pythons
are non venomous, So I got that going for me.
I don't have to worry about being killed by snake venom.
Still got a little problem. I am now pray as

(57:18):
this thing is now squeezing the breath out of me.
She starts crying for help. Her husband, who is like, hey,
aren't you done doing the dishes? Just turned up the
TV louder so he could watch Monday night football.

Speaker 3 (57:34):
You're making this up.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
I made that part up. But apparently it wasn't anyone
immediately around to hear. But finally a neighbor hears her
cries for help. After an hour and a half.

Speaker 3 (57:47):
She's still alive. That's not a very good snake.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
See, that's what I was thinking.

Speaker 3 (57:53):
He's not very smart. Yeah, it wasn't very hungry. Yeah,
that's broke into the house.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
I know. But he would like, well, yeah, but something.
You don't always go grocery shopping when you're hungry. Sometimes
you're just like, I got to run into the supermarket
because I need nasal spray, and oh look there's a
sale on this lady. In the end, I don't need
to eat it now, but I want to get it later.

Speaker 3 (58:22):
So at least an hour from there.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
Yeah, so you just make your purchase. In this case,
this is how the python does it. So now the
neighbor shows up, she's I don't know what to do.
So she did what anyone would do in this situation,
took a picture of her.

Speaker 3 (58:41):
Let's let's quickly go recap real quickly, because she's washing
dishes alone in her house, nobody helping. Husband turns up
the TV when she screams, I made that part us
an hour for anybody to hear her.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
The hour and a half, hour and a half.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
There are times in life when when circumstances just grab
you and you just say, okay, what a horrible that's
why she didn't fight.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
What a horrible way to think. This is how I'm
going by, slowly but surely dying here on my kitchen
floor as a snake finally gets around of finally killing me.

Speaker 3 (59:19):
So I'm sensing a theme in in your show today.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
What's that?

Speaker 3 (59:22):
Slowly dying? Yeah and knowing it?

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Yes, this entire show has been a metaphor for my career.
Now it's two hours. The police have finally showed up.

Speaker 3 (59:37):
But there are pictures.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
Oh yeah, she got a picture of it. And the
police finally show up. Only took him half an hour?

Speaker 3 (59:46):
Do they gary gunser Uh?

Speaker 1 (59:50):
Here's what it said that they did police, And this
is this is funny to me. The police are like,
I don't know what we do that same thing. Shoot it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
You're in a kitchen, there's probably a knife.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
Keep shooting and doing whatever to it until it releases.
It's great age it, but they want to make sure, like,
we want to do this the right way. So animal
control shows up. The animal control officer looks up, it
looks over the situation, goes shoot, I don't know, grabs
a crowbar and starts beating it and everyone's like, well
I could have done that, let's do it. And then

(01:00:23):
now they're just using a crowbar and shovel whatever they
have around here. They're beating the snake in the head
until the snake's like all right, already. Finally it releases
its grip, it slithers away. All in all, this poor
woman sixty four years old, spent two hours in the
clutches of a python in the worst hug ever, until

(01:00:47):
finally the snake is like all right, my head hurts,
I'm out and left. They just let it leave and
well no, they captured it to like, I don't know,
do what with it?

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
Stop right there you are under.

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
Get the handcuffs. Oh. So the amazing thing after all
of this, she was treated for what's referred to here
several bites. Python's like I'm gonna bite you here, and
I'm gonna bite you here, Like could you You're already
constricting the life out of me? Could you at least

(01:01:23):
stop biting me. Don't you wish you could reason with
animals like this, Like, look, I'm clearly not going anywhere.
You don't need to bite me. Stop biting me. But
was otherwise, says here, unharmed and talking to her neighbors
about the situation. Minutes after she was freed.

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
Looking at pictures putting them on Facebook.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Yeah, she's looking at the picture going, oh, wait a second,
that's a terrible picture of me. Let's try this again.
Let's get a better picture of me. Some of my colors, Yeah,
some of my color is not gone. Where's Britney Spears
and the snake handlers? I know where you can find
a snake handler. Eh, you can join my religion. Mo,
it's great. No, hell no, Heeley.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Tarry Hammer, I was born a snake handler and I'll
die of snag Candler Scott Bodhees where you're going? News
Radio eleven ten kfab