Holiday Talk Radio Potpourri

Today's batch is soaked in eggnog and myrrh.  Topics include being trapped by trains in Council Bluffs, trapped by homeless urea in Omaha, and trapped by striking Amazon drivers for Christmas.  You know, the holilday staples.  All here.  All free.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scott Vordiez.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
I got a letter yesterday from a guy, a dude
that says, Hello, my name is Easton.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
How did you know you? On accent?

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hello? Hello, my name is Easton and I am an
eighth grader who loves broadcasting. I received KFA B at
around seven oh five PM on twelve seven, twenty four.
Day of the week was that that's a Saturday. So
seven oh five on Saturday? Is that the last hour

(00:35):
of Dana Lesh or the first hour of an old
addition to Coast to Coast? I think it's I think
we're still in Dana at that point. Uh. Anyway, well
seven o five you've been hearing a commercial or a
station promo before the station programming. So anyway. I received
KFA B at around seven oh five PM on twelve seven,

(00:58):
twenty four. Received eleven ten at my home in Jaydon, Texas,
seven hundred and sixty two miles away from kfab's transmitter.
KFAB is the first radio station that I have received
that was over seven hundred miles away from me. Thank
you and have a blessed day, Signed Easton, Jaydon, Texas.

(01:24):
Love getting stuff like that. I don't know that he's
listening right now. He's probably in what should be his
maybe his last day of school. Maybe they got one
more tomorrow and the OPS is out after today. But
since I started off yesterday's program talking about my son,

(01:47):
you know my wife bailed him out yesterday.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Did she?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yes, that's get I get tacked.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
That's what moms do.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
I know, I get a tex But see, that was
the thing. I was like, no one's bailing him out.
I got a text mess from my son say I
forgot my notes from my big science test. I'm like, well,
it sounds like someone's gonna get a bad grade in
a science test. We don't exist, and it's time to
instill some more responsibility into the boy. He's a man

(02:15):
of the world now. He's fifteen. He is one year
older than a young Easton. You know, Easton's picking up
radio stations from seven hundred miles away. What's my son doing?
He's put getting the science notes together, realizing, oh, these
are the notes I need for that big test tomorrow.
Better just have them strewn all over the place. Wouldn't

(02:38):
want to compile them and put them in my backpack
that I know I'm taking to school tomorrow. So he
sends a text, no, no my notes. Can someone bring
me my notes? And my response is no, hopefully you
got some of it embedded in your brain because we
don't exist to bail you out. And I told my.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Wife, like you kind of do though.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
I told my wife, I said, I'm more your mom's working,
No one can help you. My wife left work to
go take him his notes.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
You see, because your wife doesn't want him to fail out.
She has far greater sight than you.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
I didn't think about that. If he starts failing now,
then he's going to be living in my house forever.
I don't know that I want that.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
So next time, what are you going to do?

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Well? Hopefully there won't be a next time. I at
least want I want him to do the same thing
that I would have done when I was his age,
because I absolutely would have forgotten something I needed and
we all have done that, forgotten something I needed. I
get to school, or I get to work, or I
get to wherever I'm going, I'm like look around, going,
oh no, I forgot this. You know what I wouldn't

(03:45):
have done? Called my dad, Hey dad, I wanted to
remind you what an idiot I am. Can you bail
me out. My dad would not have done that. I
never would have texted my dad, and not just because
the technology didn't exist at that time. My son said
to me the other day, I forget what the heck

(04:06):
we were talking about, he said, because I think he
was saying like he was gonna drop out of school.
He doesn't like school. He wants to drop out. He said.
At what age would I have to be before you
kicked me out of the house if I drop out
of school? I said, today years old?

Speaker 3 (04:25):
But he can't drop out yet.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
No, I know he can't. He thinks he can one
more year. He can really well, don't tell him that, Okay, Sorry?
I love this picture from Keith. Keith is trying to
institute a little Christmas into all of our spirits here today.
And Keith pass this along via the Zonker's Custom Woods inbox,

(04:48):
which is Scott at kfab dot com. And what he
said was what did he say? I asked Ai to
draw a family opening presents at Christmas? Did he send
this to you as well? You just automatically know, so,
Keith says, I asked Ai to draw a family opening

(05:12):
presents at Christmas? This is what Ai gave me. On
the left is a mother of motherly age for some
kids who appear to be around looks like we've got
a couple of kids that we'll say around ten years old.
There's one who's a little younger, four or five. The

(05:33):
younger one is sitting on the lap of a guy
who's much older than her, who's sitting next to a
guy who appears to be the same age. So what
I'm seeing here is you've got a couple of guys
here who appear to be a couple, and they've got
a kid, and then there's a couple of kids, and
then there's a lady. This is what AI thinks of

(05:55):
as the American family. You've got a throuple here with
three kids, and the presence that they're about to open
is a nice rectangular box, nice Christmas wrapping paper in
front of them on the floor with a rug stretched
out underneath the top of this box, slash Christmas present

(06:18):
is on fire, so they are around the fire, which
also happens to be the Christmas present, And you've got
a thrupple and some kids, and the rest of the
room here is decorated beautifully kind of a winter scene.
Outside Christmas tree over here in the corner, some various

(06:39):
holly and missiletoe around the home. It's beautiful except that
it's just really freaking weird.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
What is the political and religious affiliation of this? Said Ai?

Speaker 2 (06:53):
People want to blame AI. You know, AI didn't just
come up with this. It is the sum total of
everything we have taught a It's.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Like so it doesn't think.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
It's like when you've got a bad dog. People say
that's a bad dog. Was it a bad dog? Or
is it a dog that has been taught that there
are no straight couples with kids anymore? And Christmas presents
are on fire? Is that the dog we're talking about?
People look at that and go, bad dog. If you're
gonna have a family, I mean you, I don't know
what's going on here with these guys, but you don't

(07:23):
need her. I don't know what she's doing here. You know,
bad dog. And then you rub their nose in it,
and the dog's like, hey, all I did was exactly
what everyone's been telling me. Humanity has said, I go
to the bathroom on the paper, don't bite that person
over there. And we can't have a couple or a
family anymore without some layer of LGBTQ over it. Oh

(07:48):
and the as far as the ethnicity, completely undetermined. So
that's the future of America right there. You know what.
They seem happy, So I'll go I just thought that
was adorable.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
I'm more concerned with the gift that's on fire.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, the gift is on the top of the gift
is on fire. I don't Maybe it's some sort of flambay,
some sort of Christmas present that's on fire.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
It's Cherry's Jubilee again or baked Alaska. Which one do
you light on fire?

Speaker 2 (08:21):
I light it all on fire. Most food that I get,
I prefer it if it's flaming. And that's what I
told AI, And that's the picture it came up with.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Well, we have our excuse now explanation.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah whatever, whatever, dude, What do you want to talk
about next? Lucy the woman who hears the sound of
human bilge outside of her door to her apartment, a
story we will absolutely get to. Or the individuals in
a neighborhood and council bluffs consistently walled in by trains.

(08:59):
Which would you like to do first? It's ladies choice
this morning.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
I would like to hear about those counts of bluffs
residents that can't get out.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Okay, that's next.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Scott Voice News Radio eleven ten KFAB.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
A lot of emails here from guys, dudes, bros, and
bruhs sent to Scott atkfab dot com say I'm right
there with you, brother. My kids mess up all the time,
and I say, let him mess up, it's good for him.
And then our wives say, oh no, we're not gonna
let him, and they bail him out every time. And
we're over here just in the corner, reading the paper

(09:37):
and smoking cigars and drinking, and the wives are raising
these kids and we're like, hey, stop coddling the kid,
and they're like, the kid's on fire. I gotta put
them out. Hey, he's got to learn. But at the
end of all these emails, the guys are like, I
guess we got pretty good wives. They're all right. They
put up with us anyway, and hope they're not listening

(10:00):
to the show. I'm going to read every one of
these emails with first and last names. We'll start with
I'm kidding.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
We don't just have to balance it out. You have
to say you do. You're both right, You have to
let them fail so that they can figure life out,
which is what we've got an entire generation of kids
that weren't allowed to do that.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
I know well, I am, of course, the one who
pushed at an early age for the kids to be
free range children, which at one point resulted in the
two stories I love too I've told on the radio before,
and I love them. My son coming home and saying,
my buddy and I were playing under the bridge by

(10:39):
the creek, and I said, the bridge, like underneath Maple Street.
Yeah I think, I don't know. I said, it's a
little dangerous down there. You have to be careful. He goes, yeah,
that's what the guy who lives under the bridge set.
My wife was not real thrilled about that one. And
then they went into the drainage tunnels like the sewer tunnels.

(10:59):
They found a way in and started exploring that, which
of course I thought was great until they came home
and said, hey, Dad, we think we found a dead
body in there.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
I start one of the best stories you've ever done.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
I get, uh, Gordy, and and uh, what the heck
were the names of those kids from stand by me? Gordy.
I just want to say Mouth, but that's his name
from Goony. Anyway, I get those kids together, Jerry O'Connell,
Corey Feldman, River Phoenix, and Will Wheaton. I can think
of the actors names. I can't think of the character's name,

(11:35):
Chris Gordy, Chunk and Mouth. No, those are We're going
to be here all day, aren't we? Yeah? Uh so,
Lucy Less, Lucy Chapman, I'm Scott Vorhees. It wasn't a
dead body. By the way, this is news Radio eleven
to ten kfab. I gave Lucy the option you want
to hear about trains and council bluffs or about this
woman who hears the constant sound of her door being

(11:56):
hosed down, And Lucy did not choose these story immediately
about human urine chicks. Man, Am I right? Trains?

Speaker 3 (12:09):
Did I choose incorrectly?

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (12:11):
Do I need to go back and change my No.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
If I bring the story in here, it's because I
kind of sort of maybe want to talk about it.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
I'm sorry, I'm going to phone a friend. I'll be
right bank.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
My wife just sent me a text.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
It doesn't seem to even get the fifty to fifty.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
It doesn't seem too bad. No, you can't phone a friend.
We're in it. Story here is from KMTV three News.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
When fourteen years ago, fourteen years from now.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
No, KMTV three News now, minutes now KMTV three News Now.
It has to do with an area on the south
side of Council Bluffs, which is like the south side
of Chicago. That's where bad bad Lee Roy Brown lives.
So on the south side of Council Bluffs, You've got

(12:58):
a neighborhood over there that the only thing that stands
between them and civilization. In this case, civilization is Council Bluffs,
and the only thing that stands between them and civilization
is a train track. Well, yeah, that's fine, no big deal.
There's a lot of train tracks right Well, for this

(13:18):
particular area, there's really no way around the train track
unless you drive. I don't know. I have to get
to work on the other side of the train tracks,
and the only way to get around it, the only
roads that allow me to get around it, is if
I go south a couple of hours and then take

(13:38):
a left and then come back and do like.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
A parentle of hours.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
I don't know. Apparently it's impossible because there's a story
here where this woman says, I'm sitting there waiting for
the train to move the train tracks. The train tracks
aren't the problem. It's the trains parked on the train tracks,
which apparently happens a lot. The trains just get to
this point knowing that they're blocking this road, and the
trains are like, well, we can't move. I don't know

(14:04):
what's going on, you know, down the track or whatever.
But this lady sitting there waiting for the train to move,
it's not moving. Finally she has to call work, and
she works at the hospital. She says, well, I can't
get there to do this emergency surgery that you called
me in for. And they're like, we took care of
that forty five minutes ago. Where have you been? You know,

(14:26):
I'm sitting here waiting for the train.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
There are so many things wrong with this story. She
lives in this area, right yeah, and yet, as a
medical professional in a hurry in an emergency situation, she
gets at the intersection that she knows is possibly going
to be blocked forever and doesn't call in to the

(14:49):
hospital until the surgery has already been done.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
No, I made that part up, But she did come
she said, quote, I had nowhere to go. I tried
getting out of there, and finally I had to call
the hospital and say, I can't make it for that
C section. You're gonna have to call somebody else unquote.
So you know who they called me?

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Oh, that was a mistake and I.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Didn't know what I was doing. Her name is Cindy,
and she was one of those who was talking at
some town meeting the other night covered by KMTV three.
There's some city leaders there and there's a group of
people working with the city Council, PLUFS and Union Pacific
to fix the problem. Now. Union Pacific says, we're in

(15:30):
close communication with city officials and other key stakeholders. We're
working to mitigate any related impacts, including enhancing safety and
education outreach safety. The trains aren't moving very fast. I
don't think being hit by a train as a concern.
I guess the safety of what if there's an emergency
and we need to get an emergency vehicle or staff

(15:52):
member from one side of the tracks to the other
and there's miles worth of train in the way. So
now we're looking at, well, what should we do about this?
Here's what the city of Council Bluffs came up with
because because Lucy, you said there's so much that's wrong
with the story, and I thought, oh, you haven't even

(16:12):
heard about the dumbest part of the story yet. Guy
with an organization called United Today, Stronger Tomorrow. I don't
have any idea what this is. But I don't know
if they're working with Council Bluffs or they just happened
to be there out of the cold at this meeting, whatever.

(16:33):
But they said, here's what we've got. We got a
high tech system that warrens drivers when the train crossing
is blocked, when there's a train parked on the tracks
not moving. We got this high tech system that tells
people that there's a train there. And it costs three

(16:56):
to four hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
Would they have it or they are getting?

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Oh, they said, that's that's an option. Well, you know
what else we could buy this? It costs about four
hundred thousand dollars and then thirty five thousand dollars a
year upkeep after that.

Speaker 3 (17:11):
You know what else will tell them that there's a
train stop.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
I can't think of anything. Lucy, what were you thinking?
Does it cost more or less than four hundred and
thirty five thousand dollars first year.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
What it depends on what discount you get.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
What are you thinking.

Speaker 3 (17:28):
Your eyes?

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Oh wait a second, so wait, so you're you're saying
that you just get up to wear the tra So
what you're saying is like a crossing arm with like
a bell or something on it. That. Yeah, I mean
then and then the train in your way.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
You know what, you could even spend maybe maybe an
extra five thousand dollars once and put another warning light,
just like the warning light you see right at the track,
a warning light at the block before the Yeah, you know,
just run an extension cord.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah, apparently there are so many people that are just
driving headlong into these park trains. I didn't, I did it.
I needed a warning I need Yes, I needed an
expensive high tech warning system telling me the crossing was blocked.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
Crows crows. They could train crows to land on cars
that are approaching the train, flap their wings.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Danger danger like carrier crows. Correct, black crows. Cameron crows.
Russell Russell, Russell crows.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
That's a guy with no arm and no legs under
the pile of leaves.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Russell. Yeah, Russell Crows just sit there and go Are
you not entertained by the trains? That's what they say.
You need a cherry, they say, are you not enter trained?
Because it's a train?

Speaker 3 (19:01):
Done?

Speaker 1 (19:01):
Thank you, Scott News Radio eleven ten kfab.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
Andrew sent me a map to the Iowa Department of
trans I'm like, I thought, Governor Reynolds, but this is
the transportation Iowa Department of Transportation.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
It's just an abbreviation.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
Did I forward you? This is my favorite, the meme
of the guy going, ain't no way the whole Siberian
Orchestra's trans.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
Yes, because I replied back, there's two of them.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
It's so funny. All right, Well, Andrew says, there's a
lot of He's like, Andrew says, I don't know why
Union Pacific is over there talking with these neighbors and
Council Bluffs, who's apparently their neighborhood is often walled out
by trains parked on the tracks not moving. So you're
just sitting there going, uh, I wonder if people are

(19:57):
honking at it? You know, the a train is miles long,
the engineer is way down there, out of earshot, and
you're just honking at the side of this train. The
hoboes inside are like, Hey, I've tried to sleep and
have some hobo stew in here. Do hobos still ride
the rails? I hope?

Speaker 3 (20:18):
Stick in a handkerchief, I hope.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
So that's basically. People often ask me, Scott, what do
you do when you get fired from radio? Ride the rails?
It always seemed like a great idea.

Speaker 3 (20:33):
I just want to know who's doing all of the artwork.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
All the Oh, yeah, I know that. Why can't the hoboes?
I mean, if the trains pay the hoboes and say, look,
we're gonna let you ride the rails and you'll have
adventures and tales to tell. But you're gonna have to
We're gonna pay you a few bucks. You got to
do something for us. When people show up there and

(20:58):
start tagging graffiti on the sides of these train cars,
you need to throw stuff at him. Here's some stuff
to throw.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
Well, what if they're good? Like, what if Banksy comes
up and starts to do a train you would let him?

Speaker 2 (21:10):
No, I wouldn't.

Speaker 3 (21:11):
I just don't want to get stuck at a train
if I have to look at a stupid mural that
was badly done.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
I might be an uncultured boob, But you know people
who are like, I just spray painted something inside this building,
but I'm Banksy, Like, yeah, well you're gonna pay for that,
cause I don't care who you are. Does Banksy have
a first name? Like, his name's not Banksy? You know
that right, I don't know who he is. I Norton something,

(21:41):
not that that's a bad name or I'm just saying
the guy's name. Just because you decide that you call
yourself one name that's a stupid name and you just
start spray painting or putting graffiti on things, doesn't mean
that you're special. You're a criminal. He should be in jail.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
You know what makes him special the million dollar paychecks
that he gets. I'll be unspecial for a million dollars.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
These are the same people that look like look at
a banana tape to a wall and go, oh, it's amazing.
These people, they they're not smart, they're not cultured. They
just want you to think that they're smart and cultured.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
That is how. That is why any art, any music,
any show, anything does well because people decide they like it.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yeah, you know this is this is a nation that
loves Family Guy. You know why, because Family Guy isn't
pretentious and doesn't pretend to be something that's not. It's
just stupid. And it's Stewie and and Brian throwing up
on each other pretty much every episode, and America's like,

(22:51):
I love this stuff, you know, that's who we are.
And someone comes along is like I just taped the
banana to the wall, and and you have some people
they're like, oh, that is so deep. No it's not.
It's a banana.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
I know you're more of an apple tape to the
wall kind of guy. But it is subjective. It's art.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
It shouldn't.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
I don't want that art to be dismissed because someday
I am going to create one of the most beautiful
art masterpieces and it's going to consist of duct tape
and I don't know, bailing wires.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
You are an actual artist, No, I'm not. We had
a what were we doing? They asked us years ago
to do something at the radio station, where we created
a painting or something, and I just drew like a
stick figure and said, here, I don't remember what we
were doing, but you actually put a lot of effort
into it, and I remember it was very good.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
I'm not I probably still have it under the bed someplace.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
I think someone nobody ever wanted to. It's probably in
the second news booth with everything else that we don't
use anymore anyway. Yeah, we got a second news booth
in here. We just it's been pilfering equipment from it
and just storing junk in there we don't need. We
got the Christmas decorations that aren't up this year. I
just recognized that we didn't do any of that. Roger

(24:10):
Olsen's in there. It's just a bunch of stuff in
there that we don't need anymore. That's just shoved into
that room.

Speaker 3 (24:17):
I've been trying to get rid of it. I've been
trying to sell it on eBay.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
You can't sell Roger on eBay. I'm not an uncultured booth.
I'm not an unculled He doesn't care. I'm not an
uncultured boob. I was moved to tears when at the
Sistine Chapel we were looking at the ceiling. Is my
neck hurt? No? I uh, you know why. I was

(24:42):
amazed by the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, the incredible
work that Michaelangelo had done because he didn't just show
up in the middle of the night and just spray
paint it. It was it was allowed, it was, it
was encouraged. I think he made money for it. It
It wasn't like this banksty thing. He didn't show up

(25:03):
mill of the night and like there you go away.
I went up here, painted your ceiling for you. Yes,
it's Mikey. Hey, it's touching fingers. Yes. And in the
corner Michelangelo.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
I thought you were Mikey.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
Michelangelo. It's still Mikey, Mikey from his friends like Vinny Barbarino.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
Ay, I think that's fun.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Yeah, it is.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
It is still subjective in that there are many people
who would not consider that fantastic, beautiful art that is unmatchable,
if somebody hadn't told them that it was a masterpiece.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
I went to the Santra pompa Do This is the
Paris Museum of Modern Art, the George Pompadou Center, and
I was looking at a painting that was probably eight
feet tall. It was a close up of a man's
genitalia and it was all tied up in rope and

(26:12):
knots oh, and in case you're like, that doesn't sound
It wasn't. It wasn't a young man's who was It
wasn't a painting either. It was a picture someone tied
up his buddies bits with like rope and stuff and
then just put that profile eight foot tall and black

(26:34):
and white on the wall and said this is art.
And I'm laughing my face off, and some pretentious fellow
American college student comes up to me. It's like it's
supposed to represent the struggle between a man and sexuality
in today's society and norms. What's okay? And I'm just

(26:54):
looking at him, going all right, dude. His girlfriend came
up to me and apologized, my wife can vouch for
all of this true story.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
Bana to the picture.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
We're not gonna follow for the banana and the tailpipe.
There's your eighties movie reference for this segment of the
radio program. You got that one, Lucy.

Speaker 3 (27:14):
Nope, Yes, yes, yes, yes, it's pee wee Herman.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
We're not gonna fall for the banana, and we're not
gonna file for the banana the tailpipe. No, it's not
pee wee Herman. It's Beverly Hills cop.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
I was so proud of myself yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
Not close, but we went. When we were in Paris,
we went to the Louver, we went to the How
close did you get You can only get about twenty
feet or so away from I presume you're talking about
the Mona Lisa. Everyone said, oh, you're not gonna believe
how small the Mona Lisa is.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
Because they all look at it twenty feet away.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
Well, you can't get that close. But everyone everyone said that, Oh,
you're going to Paris, Are you gonna go see the
Mona Lisa. Yeah, we're gonna go see them. I couldn't
believe how small it was. And by the time I
saw it, I expected it to be the size of
a plane card. It's not, you know what the size
it is, it's it's painting size. Oh yeah, yeah, it's

(28:08):
the size of a painting.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
Now it all comes clear.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
It's exactly the size I thought it was. I don't
know why everyone, I don't know how big they thought
it was supposed to be.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
I didn't think it was very big, but we were
what we saw it from the back of the room
because we weren't even going to try.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
I didn't know the Mona Lisa was walking around like
my friend Brian just going like it's huge. You're like, nah,
it can't be d dut dun dun dun dun duh.
What were we? Uh?

Speaker 3 (28:37):
The lady with the door.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
There's a woman who lives in an apartment building at
Ernie Chambers Court. This is your first problem. Anything named
for that dirt bag is gonna be all dirt baggie.

Speaker 3 (28:55):
What do you really think about it?

Speaker 2 (28:56):
He's a dirt bag. Okay, he's the human version of
some of this modern art. Someone's decided like, Oh, he's amazing.
No he's not. He's a dirt He's a dirt bag.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
The views in the show may not represent all of these.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Oh I've gotten a kick out of him a few
times over the years, but mostly he is a dirt bag.
So they named an apartment complex after him, and what
do you know, it's a piece of crap. How about that?

Speaker 3 (29:24):
Would he he asked to have it named after him.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
I don't know, well that it's not his fault. He
probably doesn't live anywhere near there. So this woman lives
in there with her daughter, and she said, here's what happens.
There's a security door to where you're not supposed to
be able to get in the building unless you have
a special key card or something to get in. That's broken.
So now people are just wandering in and they're going

(29:50):
through the building, and they eventually wandered down this long
corridor where they get to a dead end. There's a
locked storage room on one side, and Danielle's door to
her apartment this is her home, is on the other
side at the end of this dead end corridor. And
the people, several of them, just decide, well, I guess

(30:12):
we live here now, And so they're living. They're homeless
people who live in this hallway and they do everything
that you do in your home. They eat here, they
sleep here, and and she says, this is great because
we got like a security doorbell where you can watch
all this happen. Not to mention the fact you can

(30:32):
just hear it happening out there, because it's kind of
this dank carpet out there, and the sound of human
waste hitting the carpet at all hours of the day
and night, it's an unmistakable sound. And then just in
case you're wondering, like did someone just pour a bottle
of fresca out there in the hallway, then you open
the door and you smell hits you right in the

(30:53):
puss and you go, ah, No, I knew what it was,
and I was right. And so they go to the
the people here who run this place and said, hey,
maybe we should have a more secure door here, since
that's what we're paying for. And they said, yeah, problem
with this door. It's broken, all right, we'll fix it. Yeah,

(31:16):
problem with that. It's an historic building. And so therefore,
since this is on the Registry of Historic Buildings and
it has that designation, we have to replace this door
with historically accurate materials, like it's a security door. If
the building was built one hundred and forty years ago,
they didn't have a big, old electric security door. We

(31:39):
don't need everything to be historically accurate. Never mind the
fact that you don't have people walking around going well,
I've already seen all that Banksy and Da Vinci have
to offer. Let's go look at that historic building in
north omahad Ernie Chambers Court. How about this fix the
flipping door.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
This is happening for real. This is an absolute true story.
This is happening in Omaha.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
The story is from WWT First Alert six and this
is a seventy one unit apartment complex owned by the
Omaha Housing Authority that people are living in, and the
people includes those in the seventy one units and all
the people who just live in the hallway because they
won't fix the door. They're like, well, that door could

(32:29):
cost more than five thousand dollars. No, it doesn't go
to home depot buy a door. I bet someone in
that billy knows how to fix the door. Let him
fix the door. This woman, she and her daughter, and
she says, I can't go out. We go out there.
My daughter opens the door and start screaming because there's
a bunch of people just living out there, and go

(32:49):
into the bathroom in the hallway.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
This is absolutely unacceptable for this beautiful city we live in.

Speaker 2 (32:58):
And I know it does me too. It's gross, right.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Well gross is it's disgusting.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Yeah, you know who probably doesn't give a rip about this?
A lot of people, apparently Ernie Chambers. Scott, do you
want to hear my wife stand up for herself? She
sent me a text message. I mentioned that an hour ago.
I said, oh, oh, she sent me a text. She
don't look happy. I'm Scott vorhees there's Lucy Chapman, this
is News Radio eleven ten kfab right, here's what happens.

(33:29):
So yesterday, right before the show, get a text message
from my no good son said, I forgot my science notes.
I got a big test today, and I said, hope
you remember some of your notes, cause I'm at work,
your mom's at work. No one's gonna drop everything and
bring you your notes. My wife dropped everything and brought

(33:52):
him his notes. I said, the boy's not gonna learn,
He's got to learn. He said he did try to
reprint his notes at school and it was not printing
out right or whatever. He said. And this is the
science teacher he's been trying to win over all year.

(34:13):
I caved. It's the Christmas season and I was tired,
so I said, you're a terrible parent, but I love
you dearly, and I'm taking you to a party tonight
to show you off. Oh and that reminds me it
all comes full circle. They said they're gonna have karaoke
at this little soare this evening and I hope she

(34:35):
sings Let's Hear It for the Boy by Denise Williams.
Though I don't know what boy she's gonna be thinking
of not me, probably not, probably not me. There's Lucy Chapman.
I'm Scott Vorhees. Did already say that part? This is
still news Radio eleven ten kfa B. We can't say
that enough. We're very proud of it. Let's do a
little business update here, Lucy, what do you say?

Speaker 3 (34:57):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (34:57):
I got three businesses to talk talk about. First Amazon strike.
People are like, hey, yeah, oh wait, no, Amazon, the
delivery drivers can't go on strike. I just ordered everything
and I expected to be here before Christmas. I ordered
it on December nineteenth, and I needed to be here

(35:21):
within the hour. I'm not going to go to the
store and get this stuff.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
Is it going to affect this steck that much? You
think because it's just one one area though, No.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
There's a few areas. There are a few areas Chicago,
New York, Atlanta, San Francisco.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
Oh that's a few.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
Yeah, there's a few areas.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
It's pretty big areas.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
So here's what the teamsters say. They say, ain't no
one having a good Christmas this year? We're on store.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
I already knew that before anything with Amazon.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
And Amazon I kind of like their style on this.
Amazon just said we don't need them. We'll be fine.
We don't expect any kind of disruption of service. And
the teamsters are like a dare you? Amazon said, teamsters
don't speak for our delivery drivers. Our delivery drivers for
whatever reason. Amazon says that they don't recognize their union.

(36:17):
This is just the teamsters trying to do thug teamster stuff.
My words, not exactly Amazon, but that's essentially the message.
And the teamsters said, if your package is delayed during
the holidays, you can blame Amazon's insatiable greed. We gave
Amazon a clear deadline to come to the table and

(36:39):
do right by our members. They ignored it. These greedy
executives had every chance to show decency and respect for
the people who make their obscene profits possible. Instead, I've
pushed workers to the limit, or they push workers to
the limit, and now they're paying the price. This strike
is on them. Yeah. I like that They think that

(36:59):
there's one guy making obscene profits. Now, never mind the
fact that the guy who started and runs Amazon might
make a few more dollars than a guy who just
got hired last Tuesday as a delivery driver for the company.
But in their socialistic, communistic world. I guess they think
that's fine. By the way, how's Amazon doing in Russia?

(37:20):
How's Amazon doing in Venezuela. If you look at some
of these communistic, socialistic countries, how's all of that all
that innovation coming in those Areas's how's North Korean Amazon doing?
Did they come up with anything big there? No, because
once you institute socialistic communism that these guys you put

(37:42):
on parade every single day. And some of these idiots
out there outside courthouse in Pennsylvania where this morning the
guy charged with murdering the CEO of United Healthcare went
in there for his first court hearing, And there's all
these sycophans out there, fan out there holding signs say denied,

(38:03):
defend and disgusting or what. I don't know the third
d WA deflect. They they're all out there holding signs. Fans.
It's like looking at little girls at a Taylor Swift concert.
These grown men are like, oh my gosh, there he is.

Speaker 3 (38:21):
He's so cute.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
He murdered that father too. You know, they're looking at
Amazon and the teamsters thing going, I don't know why
these guys are going on strike. Why don't you just
go murder their CEO. That seems to be all the
rage these days. Just go kill that guy that ought
to do it. By the way, your healthcare premiums go down,
it's been two weeks since that CEO from Iowa, Brian Thompson,

(38:45):
father of too young guy, a decent man who was
very involved in the community and special Olympics. It's been
about two weeks since he was murdered. Your premiums go down. Yeah,
did you get all your medical debt wiped out? Oh,
it's almost it's like nothing fricking happened. So these so
no teamsters are going on strike right before Christmas try

(39:09):
and force Amazon to the table. Amazon says, we don't
recognize our workers' affiliation with this union. And what's funny
is I think Amazon's probably gonna win this. What other
company could look at all the delivery drivers basically doing
the Santas Slay impersonation of going out here all corners

(39:34):
of the country, if not the globe, to get you
all the junk that you ordered and get it to
you in a very short amount of time. And you
have these big hubs, seven facilities of teamster delivery driver
type people suddenly going on strike and Amazon's like, we're fine,
and they probably are. What do they do? They just

(39:56):
announced here in the Omaha Council Bluffs area that there'll
be a lot of people who can expect same day
delivery of goods because they just opened this giant warehouse
or they're gonna have a I and see the thing.
They're gonna have a big warehouse where all the stuff
is here. So if you order something at noon, you

(40:18):
might have it at to your house by three. A
couple of things on that one. If there's a big
warehouse with all the stuff we want, how about you
just say open and we go in there and buy stuff,
what like a store, I know, kind of like you
know a store forty year Old Virgin, Like, you know,

(40:38):
I'm here. I just give you the money and you no, no,
you got to buy that on eBay. You gotta go
bit on that on eBay and then we send it
to you. Yeah, but I'm here, you're here about I
just give you the money. And Jonah Hill yep in
that role from forty year Old Virgin Kelly, Yeah, it's great.
It's a great movie.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
Yeah. So if we have that big delivery, the big warehouse,
but just just open it up, you say, And our
hours are Monday through Sunday from nine to five or whatever.
And yeah, it's because it's a bank and you so
we we just go there and buy stuff. But no,
like some people don't feel like they can really appreciate

(41:19):
anything unless it's sent to them quickly. But I'm not
chastising those who order things online necessarily. In fact, last
night I dragged my aforementioned near do Well's son with
me because he was actually a delight to be around

(41:43):
last night because he wants something because Christmas coming up,
so he was actively sucking up to me and my wife,
which is always fun. We let that happen for a while.
It's kind of fun. He does. He cleared the table
after dinner last night. He was really sweat. I said,
come hang out with me. What did he clear the table? No? No, no,

(42:06):
he did exactly what he was supposed to do because
he wants something. So I said, come to come to
the store with me. I need to buy something, and
he goes, why do you need me to help you
carry it? I said, no, what are we getting? I said,
I need replacement blaze from my shaving razor because it's
Lucy can see it's a veritable forest up here. That's

(42:30):
not not look not up here. That's my eyebrow. No,
I mean the beard. Uh yeah, I was kind of thinking.
My wife said I should keep the beard. But every
time I think maybe I'll keep the beard, I lay
my face down on the pillow. I'm like, I don't
like it.

Speaker 3 (42:44):
Get satin.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
Maybe I'll just get satin.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
Your face will just slide right off.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
The slide right off the pillow, wouldn't it like pierce
the satin. And now I'm stuck, like I'm interwoven with
the pillowcase.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
It might have had hair on my face.

Speaker 2 (43:01):
Come to work with the pillowcase stuck to the side
of my face. You never had hair on your face.
You want some, So I said, I just need a
little I need replacement blades from a shaven razor. And
my son said, why are you taking me with you?
I said, oh, because you're fun to be around right now,
because you're sucking up because you want something, and it's

(43:22):
a delight to hang out with you. You're not just
stalking off to your room all day and night. And
my son and I have a good relationship. He wouldn't
say that, but I do. So I go to the
big box superstore warehouse place to get this thing. They
don't have it. There's a spot where that thing would be,

(43:45):
this replacement blade thing would be, and there's a little
sign on there says, here's the series seven blades for
this particular razor. And it's empty. And it's and I
remembered last time I went to this place a couple
of years ago or here whatever for a year and
a half whatever to get replacement blades. It was empty
then too, and I had ordered online.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
Is that because the blades are so crappy and they
just don't last long.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
They last about a year and a half. Okay, that's
pretty good. That's pretty good, Cinern though.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
See you're on the same cycle.

Speaker 2 (44:15):
There's a whole bunch of other Yeah, well yeah, maybe yeah.
I guess we all got this thing for Christmas a
few years back, and now it's.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
All all buying blades at the same time. They were
just faster than you.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
Yeah, hearing about the summer of twenty twenty six, I'm
gonna go back be like they're not here along with
every other guy. Yeah, I didn't think about that. I
think that actually is true. I think I did get
this thing for Christmas years ago, and I'm just on
that eighteen month cycle going there around the holidays or
the middle of summer, and I can't get any blades. Huh.

(44:48):
Never thought about that.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
That's why I'm here, Scott.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Kind of smart. I was wondering, and so I ordered
them online and they're gonna be here. I think they
were actually at my house before I got home, him
from the store right next to my neighborhood. I mean,
that's how fast they get this stuff. And so Amazon's like,
so wait a second, all these Teamster delivery driver guys
are going to go on strike. We're good. We don't

(45:14):
actually need them to drive it anywhere. We got drones.
I don't know if you heard about what's going on
in New Jersey.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
People are what they are.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
Yeah, people are shooting. Yeah, people are shooting him out
of the sky. And then they're like, hey, where are
my razor blades? Where are my electric razor foil blades?
Shot him out of the sky. Didn't think about that there,
did you? Jersey Mike make sandwiches and he shoots drones
out of the sky. Is Jersey Mike? Danny DeVito? I

(45:47):
think it is can that guy not get work anywhere?

Speaker 3 (45:50):
Well? When did he do anything.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
Last Jumanji two, I'll say three. No, he wasn't an
only murderers in the building, not yet. But I would
welcome Danny DeVito to be in there. Twins too. Oh,
I actually heard that they wanted to make twins too

(46:12):
with Shaquille O'Neill and Kevin Hart. That'd be funny, except
you switch it up where Kevin Hart's like the alpha
male and shaq is the DeVito character. You switch it
up a little bit. That would That's how you That's
how you write it. If anyone's listening, I'll help. So
Amazon said, don't worry, you're all gonna have a merry Christmas.
We'll get you all your stuff. And the teamsters are

(46:35):
like the teamsters, A spokesperson said. Amazon is gaslighting the
American public with their false narratives. Yeah. And the reason
why they can say that is because they recognize it
as their job. Unions. Look, if you're in a union
and you like it and it works for you, and
your father is a union, your uncle is a union,

(46:56):
your grandpa is a union guy, that's fine. I just
I'm not a big fan of going on strike, like
I don't like my job, Yeah, well join the club
and if you really don't like it, go find another job.
I'm just gonna threaten to punch my boss, like all right.
If that works for you, then have at it. It
doesn't work for most of us because I have threatened

(47:17):
so many times to punch Ronda. But you know what,
She's got a mean left hook. You don't see it coming,
and she before you even get the threat out of
your mouth. I'm like, listen here, right, and then bam.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Ah, yeah, because you broke the first If you're planning
on punching somebody, you don't telegraph that.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
I know.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
You don't walk up to him and say anything. You
don them.

Speaker 2 (47:40):
You know who taught me how to fight, Billy Jack.
I love Billy You're gonna take this foot and put
it up to that side of your face and there's
nothing you can do about it. About halfway through me
saying that Ronda delivers a left hook right to the chops.
That's right, Billy Jack. I went my money back, Billy Jack.
That's part one of our business breakdown here on news

(48:04):
Radio eleven ten kfab Amazon Up. Next, we got stories
about a place where I'm sure Lucy either we shop there,
But now that I think about it, I don't know
if we actually shop there, if we just think we did.
But I know we've eaten at this restaurant, so store.
We got two more stores to talk about in our

(48:24):
little business breakdown.

Speaker 3 (48:25):
I'm hearing about a Mandela effect coming up. Then if
you can't remember.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
I know, well, I'm gonna I'm gonna say the name
of the store, and then you're gonna know exactly what
I'm talking about next.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
Scott Boys NewsRadio eleven ten k fab.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
Lucy and I are not in the same studio. We're
in the same city, though we're not.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
Even in the same atmosphere.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
I'm definitely not in your same ballpark. Lucy is in
the ballpark. I'm in the dumpster out there in the
bar realm of the parking lot. I can see the
ballpark from where I am, and I know Lucy's in
there doing great. And someday I hope I can get
in that ballpark too, But nope, not as long as

(49:13):
I can't say ballpark. That's what separates the two, all right.
We both grew up here in Omaha. We're in the
middle of the business breakdown? Is that what I'm calling it?
Here talked about Amazon a moment ago, get a restaurant
to discuss here momentarily, But now we've got one of
the There are two remaining stores in the United States,

(49:34):
but soon there will be none, as Sam Goodie is
closing its final two stores.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
I know, I'm just I didn't know there was any
open soon.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
I'm disappointed too. There's two remaining brick and mortar Sam
Goody stores, one at the Ohio Valley Mall Mall in
Saint Clairsville, Ohio, and then there's one at the Rogue
Valley Mall in Medford, Oregon. And in the new year
they will close. And I'm thinking, oh, no, not Sam Goody.
And then I'm thinking, going, did we even have a

(50:06):
Sam Goodie here? Or do I just think that we did? Now?

Speaker 3 (50:09):
I think we had one in the basement of.

Speaker 2 (50:13):
Western I want to say, was that Sam Goodie or
was that Music Land?

Speaker 3 (50:20):
I don't know. I don't think I thought it was
a Sam Goodie, but I don't know, you know what
it might have been. At Crossroads. I think we did
have one. I think we had one of the somebody's
going to email you'll know for sure.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
But I know I'm not going to do research. I
just throw questions out there and let Kafabi Nation respond.
But I want to say I thought we did, but
it wasn't a place that I was frequenting. I mean,
I was getting my music, but back in the day,
I mean, you either get it at Homer's Music Land
at West Roads. We had a place not too far

(50:54):
from where I grew up in Ralston called Tuons in
La Vista off eighty fourth in Giles area. I get
a lot of tapes over there. But back in the
day you go to Albertson's and they had a whole
aisle of records and tapes, so I would get a

(51:16):
lot of my stuff there.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
We all got it all of our stuff at Homers.
So whatever you're talking about, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
Well, Homer's was not the closest place to me, but
it was always exciting. Next we would go to the
Homers near one hundred and thirty second at Center, and
that was always exciting. I remember getting the Ghostbusters soundtrack there,
and you know, and I was really excited, even though
I realized, like I'm spending this money. The only song

(51:44):
I know this on the soundtrack is Ghostbusters, but it
turns out good soundtrack had the bus boys on there
with cleaning Up the Town. A song called Saving the Day.
I really liked.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
And you still listen to it to this day.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
There are some of my cassette tapes that I moved
from a container because I still have them, and a
lot of them are in a container some drawers down
in the basement alphabetized, but I took some of them
out and put them upstairs in the hallway between my
daughter's room and my son's room when they were young,
because I gave them both tape players and said, you

(52:20):
can listen to any of this music you want, and
they actually took me up on it, and they listened
to a lot of weird Al Yankovic and the Ghostbuster
soundtrack is there, and they're all still sitting there. So
I actually see the Ghostbuster soundtrack every single day of
my life. That I bought at Homer's at one hundred
and thirty second in Center when it was there. That's

(52:42):
the same place I stood in line all day to
try and get tickets to see Garth Brooks and Lincoln
circa nineteen ninety six and got them. That's back when
you can kind of camp out for tickets. But they're
closing the last Sam Goodie store. The people. I don't
buy a lot of physical music anymore. It's all stuff

(53:03):
I buy online or you set up playlists on our
iHeartRadio app or whatever and you can I mean, it's
all digital. Like, if I go out and buy the
latest Ed Sharon album, what am I gonna do? Play
it in my car doesn't have a CD player. I
gotta get a digital copy, get it set up on
my phone, and play that through my phone through my car.

(53:25):
So what's the point of actually owning the album? I
miss owning the album, and I miss physical tickets for
things like concerts and movies.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
Well, you can still own the actual album if you
want to. In most cases it might be a CD,
but at least it'll be something in your hand. At
least you get some of that album art. There are
still some groups that are doing.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
It, I know, and really, since I'm a collector, the
only person who would release new music that I actually
physically buy would be Elton John. I gotta have the
physical album. Is it's there in my collection? So Sam,
the last two remaining Sam goodie stores in the US
are closing.

Speaker 3 (54:08):
Just as they're bringing back vinyl. Maybe he should rethink
this business decision.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
By no, but they're bringing back vinyl. But it's all
like stupid expensive. Here's the same music that's on a
CD you can buy for twelve bucks, except we're going
to put it on a record and sell it for
forty five dollars. It's especially dumb when it's a reissue. Yeah,

(54:34):
let's say you want to Let's say your kid has
great taste in music and wants these soundtrack to Ghostbusters
and they just repressed it for some reason, and it's
available at you know, some fancy bookstore that also has
a few records for forty five dollars. You nowhere else
you can get that any garage sale or at my
favorite record store, Keystone Collectibles in downtown Council Bluffs. Not Kate.

(55:00):
I keep saying that Canes Canesville Collectibles just off my
favorite place. Well, what's its face? The Kainsville Collectibles Downtown
Council Bluffs. I bet they have thirty copies of it
there for three bucks apiece. Any reissue, including stuff like
they don't have the Beatles, Yeah they do. It's probably
more than three bucks, but it's probably a lot less

(55:21):
than fifty. All right, one more piece of business. Oh
my gosh, am I so am I really this late
for the break? Yes, yeah, I am. This isn't anything
I want to go on and on about. It's just
a story that says Taco Bell is going to start
offering chicken nuggets, and people are like, hey, you can't.
Taco Bell can't order chicken nuggets. It's not Mexican food. Meanwhile,

(55:44):
people from Mexico and even Southwest America are like, yeah,
what Taco Bell usually offers isn't exactly Mexican food. At
no point do we ever sit down and go, yeah,
I want a Chloopa gordita and some cinnamon twists, just
like Grandma used to make Guadalajara. Like it's it's Taco Bell.
They can do what they can, clearly do whatever they want.

(56:05):
We will eat it two o'clock in the morning. Have
you ever been to Taco Bell during daylight hours? It's weird,
isn't it. I've done it, Like is this what color
the store is? Usually? I just see it at night.
I love me some Taco Bell, And now they're offering
chicken nuggets because clearly they can just do whatever they want.

(56:29):
So there's your business breakdown. Fox News Update. Next, Scott,
I saw the story about the squirrels, and I thought,
I don't, I can't. I can't get into it. I'll
leave that one to Emory. And considering all the things
we've talked about on this program today, it's amazing that
there would be anything that I'd pass up because I

(56:50):
didn't feel it was appropriate to bring up on the radio.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
That's the reason.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
Eh, Now do I have to at least do a
one line on that? In case?

Speaker 3 (57:02):
Do you want me to play back the show for
you real quick?

Speaker 2 (57:05):
I know I talked about that woman who had an
entire homeless encampment in the hallway outside of her apartment,
just basically hosing down the carpet, that that was fine.
The squirrel story basically they found out that squirrels don't
just eat and storeaway nuts. They also will eat pretty

(57:25):
much any road and they can get their hands on,
and that includes cannibalism.

Speaker 3 (57:29):
Not the squirrels at my house.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
Chip, Chip, Chip, and Dale. I know those are They're
not squirrels, right, what are Chippindale? They're squirrelsipmunks. Are they Okay,
that's the same thing, the chip Dales. That's right, yeah,
chip and Dale's. Yes. Someone right now is going to
be talking to a co worker later today. That's Lucy Chabin.
I'm Scott Voorhi's This is News Radio eleven ten kfa B.

(57:52):
And they're gonna say I heard on the AM radio.
You know those Chippindale dancers, those male strippers. They eat
each other. And that's actually not too far from the truth.
Here's an animal story, Lucy. What is the official bird
of the United States of America? No? I know that's

(58:19):
not a terrible idea, either as an actual answer or
as a sarcastic one. It's really good. It checks both boxes.
But it's also incorrect. Most people would think, oh, the
official bird of America is the bald eagle. No, it isn't.

(58:40):
We don't have an official bird.

Speaker 3 (58:42):
What happened?

Speaker 2 (58:44):
We just no, Well, you couldn't do the feather thing
because they were well, I guess it wouldn't be bad
to have a feather if they're in danger. But they
say the bald eagles aren't even endangered anymore. It was

(59:04):
just it was federally protected.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
Over protected right, and there was right the government's helicopter,
and there was.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
Something about like you couldn't have an eagle feather unless
it was given to you by a Native American whose
name may or may not be eagle feather. There's something
like that. It was federally protected, as it should be.
It's a beautiful birden. Every once in a while, you
just got to say, all right, that's off limits. Like
a bald eagle or your sister. You just tell everyone, like,

(59:36):
all right, everything else is fair game. That's off limits.

Speaker 3 (59:40):
Wait, you're telling somebody else this.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
Yeah, they're just they're just see, they're just some things.
You're like, look, I don't care what you guys are
going to do. So it's a couple of things are
off limits. No one is to bother the bald eagle
or my sister. And guy like good dudes, good guys

(01:00:06):
are they're gonna not and go, yep, you're right now.
They may not follow that, but they're at least going
to tell the guy like you bet. In fact, they're
like most guys would be, like, I wasn't even thinking
about your sister until you said I couldn't have her.
Now there's nothing I want more anyway, the bald eagle.

(01:00:26):
If you're under the impression the bald eagle was America's
official national bird, you are wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
But it's on the coins.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Yeah, I know, it's the money.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
Oh, just use that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
It's appeared on the right. It's appeared on the Great
Seal since seventeen eighty two, but no one ever thought
to like, actually pass legislation and make it in their
official national bird. So now you've got Republicans and Democrats
that say we need to have it. So they're the uh,
it's sailing, it's soaring through Congress on eagles wings, and

(01:01:00):
and it's expected to go to the president for his
signature or whoever it is that's signing stuff for the
president these days.

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
I think I know why this never got done. Why
because from seventeen eighty two, when you had to volunteer
your services and this was an absolute it was a
hardship to serve in the government, they didn't waste a
bunch of time on a bunch of stupid things, whereas
today the government's almost all just well, we're here and

(01:01:33):
that's local too.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
Now you're I think we got to do something.

Speaker 3 (01:01:36):
Let's just pass this or pass.

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
That you're right, but there is evidence to the contrary.
I love what you're saying a whole. Mister Smith goes
to Washington thing. I'm all, I'm here for it. But
we do have a national flower, we have a national tree,
and we even have a national mammal. You want to

(01:01:58):
take a crack at any of these.

Speaker 3 (01:01:59):
Is it a chipmunk?

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Yeah, until one chipmunk ate a squirrel, who ate a
a guinea pig, who ate a hamster? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
I hope you're not going to tell me it's a buffalo,
because that would be like spitting in the buffalo's face
and I wouldn't want to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:19):
Technically, it's a bison. Yeah, that's the I don't why
does that spit in the face of the buffalo?

Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
Bison almost we almost made them extinct.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
Well that's why we made them our national mammal. Like stop.

Speaker 3 (01:02:33):
Oh, so we did this after I don't go looking
for things.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
I don't know the history of it, but it says
once President Biden signs this, the bald eagle will be
in the company of the bison, our national mammal. We
have a national flower, and that is the golden Rod.
Nebraska state flower isn't amazing? We can that's the one
thing we remember from our our childhood education.

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
I would hope no, because we are national are our
state bird is? I think it's a wren no middle lark. Yeah,
that's what I meant.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
Yeah, we even have a state fish. Am I the
only one who remembers this stuff? The Channel catfish?

Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
Huh?

Speaker 2 (01:03:18):
Didn't you ever go to Shram Park when you were
a kid? Did you should go there?

Speaker 3 (01:03:22):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
It's still great. The national flower is.

Speaker 3 (01:03:25):
The I'm gonna say Rose.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
Ah, that's right, because all of our ant's middle name
is Rose. True. Yeah, Oh, I didn't think about it
because of the rose garden.

Speaker 3 (01:03:37):
I don't think that the rose garden is the reason
we have I think the flower is why we have
the rose garden. The national flower is why we have
the rose garden, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
You think we're ever going to have a president who
who assumes office? And like, all right, here's what I
see happening. Oh, this is perfect. Trump eventually becomes president.
This is after Biden declares martial law, and it takes
a little longer than we thought. We have to storm
the Capitol, but this time America is somehow in favor

(01:04:09):
of it. So Trump eventually becomes president, and then Elon
Musk and Vivek Ramaswami say, we're cutting back all these
government services. One of them is why does it cost
so much money to maintain the grounds here at the
White House. The rose garden withers and dies, it eventually
becomes a dandy lion field. And then we have President J. D.

(01:04:31):
Vance and he's like, this is just exactly what I
remember growing up as a kid. And frankly, there are
a lot more Americans out there that have a lawn
full of dandy lyons and weeds than they do a
rose garden. This is more representative of America. Americans are like,
I like this guy. And JD. Vance goes on to

(01:04:51):
serve an unprecedented five terms in office.

Speaker 3 (01:04:55):
And Robert Kennedy Junior is going to be all over this,
supporting this because because dandy lyons are so so good
for you. Dandy lion root and dandy lion leaf can
just cure so many things and do so many great
things for you. Right, you gotta be careful out of
your yard. If you get chemicals on your yard, though, and.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
The national tree is the oak tree. That's great. You
can like dandy lyons all you want. I don't want
them in my yard. I remember walking my daughter around
when she was two or three, and we passed a
neighbor's lawn that had just all kinds of dandy lions
in it, and my daughter, sweetheart little girl, said, oh,
they're so lucky. Look at all the flowers. I said, yep,

(01:05:37):
they sure are lucky.

Speaker 3 (01:05:38):
See.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
Uh, come, we don't have flowers like that in our yard. Well,
we're just not lucky enough, not like these guys.

Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
You should have picked those flowers or the leaves. You
should have picked them and eaten them, because they probably
didn't have any chemicals on their lawn, and you would
be healthier today than you are now.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
You did eat dandy lyons as a kid, didn't you.
The rest of us were just popping heads off or
blowing on the ones were about to die. That's how
more dandy lions got spread. I realized that now, or
we'd take the danny lion and like spread it on
our on our finger and be like our finger or
the back of our hands all yellow. Now, well, you
were eating that. I did eating them raw.

Speaker 3 (01:06:14):
I was eating them as a kid, but I never
could figure out why. It never helped because they would
just get stuck in my teeth, the big fuzzy pieces,
because apparently I was eating them after they'd already bloomed.
I put it in the mouth, it would just like
disintegrate and I could never figure never figure out what
was going wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:06:30):
It's chewing on dandy lions. I got Danny lions.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
Stuck in my teeth, just the seed part.

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
It's a wonder you ever grew up. I want a
home with a yard full of dandy lions. So maybe
someday Lucy can come over to my house and eat
my yard like a goat.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
Scott Boys Mornings nine to eleven. Our News Radio eleven
ten KFAB