September 9, 2025 • 45 mins
After examining the truthiness of the Trump birthday message to Epstein, Chapman and Voorhees have it out. Why? Because of Tom Hanks and a cabinet door, that's why.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scott Vordiez, I turned fifty in just over a year
from now. My hair turned fifty seventeen years ago. But
the rest of me, yeah, the rest of me. I
turned fifty in just over a year from now, and
I've never I'm not concerned about it. I wasn't concerned
(00:23):
about it, but now I kind of am. Is this
the kind of thing that happens when you turn fifty?
You get these alleged friends of yours going, I have
a great idea. Let's put together a little birthday book,
and we'll get some of your friends to write things
like this in the birthday book. This is the Epstein
(00:46):
Happy fiftieth Birthday birthday Book. The Democrats released it on
the House Oversight Committee. They released this yesterday, which is
described as a sexually suggestive letter to Jeffrey Epstein, purportedly
signed by President Trump. He said, I don't talk like that,
(01:08):
and I didn't sign that, and I don't draw pictures.
Let's take a look first at apparently what is this
page in the book. It's all typed out and written.
The only thing that seems to be in pen on
there is the armless figure of a woman. I presume
(01:35):
it's a woman, I say, I presume, because you've got
a little and a half circles there in the chest
region to suggest here is where some breasts might be.
The hips do tend to come out in a womanly way.
(02:00):
And some have suggested that Trump's signature is in a
rather suggestive place, and Trump's got that kind of scratching
up and down signature in the in the pubis region.
That would be the I suppose, the sexually suggestive part
(02:20):
of this. And here's what the thing says. And this
is I'm just going to read it the way it's written.
It's in like stage directions, and here's exactly what it says,
quote voiceover. There must be more to life than having everything. Donald, Yes,
(02:47):
there is, but I won't tell you what it is, Jeffrey,
nor will I since I also know what it is. Donald.
We have certain things in common, Jeffrey. Jeffrey, Yes, we do,
come to think of it, Donald, Enigma's never age. Have
(03:14):
you noticed that, Jeffrey. As a matter of fact, it
was clear to me the last time I saw you, Donald,
A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy birthday, and may
every day be another wonderful secret. Donald J Trump, I
(03:45):
should have warn you before I read that, in case
you have a weak gag reflex. Oh maybe it's good,
maybe because I already got it all out earlier. Upon
seeing this and reading it, I was relieved because I
had two much bile in my system. That problem has
been solved, and I'm not chucking because it's it's gross
(04:11):
or suggested. This is just about the worst stupidest thing
I've ever seen. And this was given by apparently a
wonderful pal. This was given to someone for his fiftieth birthday.
If this is what is in store for me in
just over a year from now, in fact, I will
be disappointed if I don't get exactly this now for
(04:35):
my fiftieth birthday. But in jest, of course, you know
my friends will do it with They're like, all right,
we're gonna do the Trump Epstein thing, except we're gonna
draw a picture of a guy, an anatomically correct picture
of a guy. That that would be my buddies, That's
what they would do. What pardon my language, What the
(04:57):
hell is this? What is this? What are we looking
at here? And what did the Democrats seeing this? This
is see we told you well, he says, may every
day be another wonderful secret. It's amazing that the media,
in talking about how they Democrats in the House Oversight
(05:19):
Committee have released this letter to Epstein purportedly signed by
President Trump, which they do point out he has denied,
and by the way, sued the Wall Street Journal when
they printed this and said, yeah, here's what Trump gave
to jeff Jeffrey on his fiftieth birthday. Trump sued them.
He filed a ten billion dollar lawsuit against the Wall
(05:41):
Street Journal and the Democrats, you know, say, I see
this proves it, and it's funny the media and a
lot of the stories I've seen about this, the media
only includes that last line, a pal is a wonderful thing,
happy birthday, and may every day be another wonderful secret,
(06:06):
suggesting we know what the secret is. We're going to
the island and we've got all these underage girls and
we victimize them, and we're gonna keep it a secret. Now.
I admit, if you only see that, you look at
(06:27):
this and go, well, that's potentially odd, isn't it. But
when you look at it in the totality of the
whole thing, that starts with voiceover and it's supposed to
be this conversation between these two guys that sounds just
(06:48):
freaking weird. Well it's because they're weird, are they? Or
is this resist written by some weirdo who I don't know.
It sounded like they were trying to make an ad
for like a perfume or a cologne. Remember those great
ads in the eighties that were complete non sequiturs. Uh.
(07:11):
Saturday Night Life did a great job of spoofing them,
and it would just be you know, this woman in
various stages of duress, just running this way and that,
and ridiculous voiceovers and Dana Carvey, you know, looking off
in the distance like I tried to love her but
(07:32):
it wasn't enough, liar, you know, just stupid crazy. That's
That's kind of what this looks like. It's like an
AI version of right, a really dumb conversation between two guys,
and at the end we say Christian Dior cologne or whatever, like,
oh wow, that doesn't make any sense at all. That's
(07:54):
what would That's what we would see here. Let's look
a little more specifically at this. Does Donald Trump talk
like this? No, Because if they had actually had an
entire conversation between Donald and Jeffrey. It would be nine
(08:17):
pages of Donald and then like one page or one
little line by Jeffrey going yeah, you're right, and that
would probably and then sign Donald J. Trump. Well, frankly,
the fiftieth birthday is really something I someday when I
turned fifty. It's a long time from now. Jeffrey's very old.
(08:40):
It's gonna be an amazing thing. Fifty years. Well, I'll
tell you what. Fifty What a number, right, am I right?
It's bigger than forty nine. Forty nine not so bad
a number. We get along very well. But fifty if
he is a bigger number than forty nine, not so
big as fifty one, let me tell you. And I
think you know what I'm talking about, and go on
for like seven pages, and then it's like Jeffrey after
(09:05):
Trump finally got around and saying it's a happy birthday,
Jeffrey go thank you, Donald, and then it would say
Donald J. Trump.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
No drawing, No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
The drawing would have to be like oblong, and she
had to be lying on her side and it would stretch.
She'd have like the longest legs ever, like we're just
going down the one leg and coming back up the
other in this weird silhouette of what's supposed to be
a woman. This is not how Trump speaks. This is
(09:39):
frankly not how anyone speaks. I don't and apparently this
book is all in this form. It's like someone thought
it'd be just really really swell to write up all
this stuff and then have these people sign it. They
(10:00):
there are some people that say, this doesn't look like
a signature. I don't know. It kind of looks like
a signature. But I think it's also highly likely as
someone gave it to Trump and said, will you sign this?
It's a birthday card for Jeffrey? You bet Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah,
he gives a lot of money Donald, and then he
(10:21):
went on with his life. He didn't even read it,
look at it, or like who knows, or maybe since
they just they clearly put his words and made up
this weird little conversation between these guys, they probably just
took his signature and just copied it on there. Did
that technology exist in what this would have been like
(10:44):
two thousand and three, I think, yeah, two thousand and three,
fiftieth birthday album. Why would someone take someone's signature from
something else and just crudely paste it on this Because
in nineteen ninety five or six ninety six, I was
(11:05):
a fledgling talk radio host, not the total amateur I
am now, but I was a fledgling talk radio host
in the college station, and Carney and I wanted to
put some flyers up around campus at dear Old UNK
to promote my radio show. I don't know why. It
was awful, but it was super fun to do, and
(11:26):
I had the radio teacher there gave me two hours
every day from noon to two to do pretty much
whatever I wanted. It was awesome, So I thought people
need to hear this, and I put up flyers Oliver
campus well at un K. Certainly at that time, if
you were going to paste a flyer on anything, you
had to have the stamp of the vice chancellor for
(11:47):
student affairs. Her name, I just lose her name. I
think it was Barbara Snyder, a nice enough woman, but
we decided she was the enemy because like, why do
we have to have her signature on something before me?
So did I get her signature on my flyers?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
No.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I took a flyer off one of the bulletin boards.
I just cut off her a signature, and I just
pasted that on the piece of paper promoting my radio show,
and I made a billion copies and I put them
all over the campus and her signature was on it.
She's like, I don't remember signing this. And it said
on there, you know, like it was called talk Radio
for Beginners, Radio station time, stupid picture of me probably,
(12:30):
and then it said the favorite radio show of and
then the purported signature of Vice Chancellor Barbara Snyder, which
I had just crudely just pasted on there, and it
looked real enough, kind of funny. I thought it was
kind of funny. You know who didn't think it was funny,
Barbara Snyder. I remember being called into her office. What
(12:53):
is this? I didn't sign this, I didn't approve of this.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
But do you like it?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Have you listened to you want to come on the show? No,
I don't want to come on your show.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
You might like it?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah, yeah, I just I thought it was funny, But
it was the same thing. I took the signature off
something else, taped it on there, made a photocopy, which is,
by the way, how this looks. It looks like it's
a total photocopied thing from It's the book is not
nothing's written, it's it's just all typed. Like I said,
(13:24):
like stage directions in the worst play I've ever seen,
enigmas never age. Have you noticed that? Yeah, this didn't
age very well. I want to know who wrote this,
so so we can make an example of this person.
You know what, It doesn't prove to me that Trump
(13:44):
had anything to do with this. He's right, he said,
this is not how I talk, and I don't draw pictures,
he said his exact quote quote, these are not my words,
not the way I talk. Also, I don't draw pictures
on quote. I can't imagine even Trump's most arduous detractors
(14:09):
believe that he wrote any of this. This is so stupid.
But it's not like Trump's level of babbel stupid, which
is often entertaining and sometimes causes someone to roll their
eyes in a way that they need to see an optometrist,
But it's not this. I don't know. Do you think
(14:33):
we'll ever know anything about this whole Epstein business. This
is so everything about this is super bizarre. You have
like the people in Congress saying, all right, we've seen
all that, and you have the Biden administration now the
Trump administration. The people have seen all of this stuff
have all said, well, we want to we don't want
to release all of this. We don't want to identify
(14:55):
the victims. Meanwhile, a parade of Epstein's purported victims had
a new conference last week where they were all out
there saying, Hi, my name is this, and I was
a victim, and here's this person, and we're all victims
and we're all identifying ourselves. And then they were like,
and we're gonna name names. And then they didn't name
any names. And then they went back to Congress and said,
(15:18):
all right, well you've seen here are the women in
the report. They're okay being named. Can you name the
names now? And they said, no, we don't want to
identify the vict Like, I don't know, if you saw
the news conference, the victims just identified themselves. This is
the dumbest game of pingpong. This whole thing is so weird,
(15:41):
and I think it's pretty obvious at the root of
all of this, you do have some some young women
who were victimized. I don't know how all of that worked.
I don't know did anyone I mean, if Epstein's got
a private island and it's just full of this group
of like misfit fourteen year olds. Did any parents file
a missing person's report? How did any of that work?
(16:04):
I don't know the whole thing. None of it makes
any sense. And then when the Democrats on the House
Oversight Committee say, well, we've got the proof. Here it is.
It's a crudely drawn picture, a sketch of a woman's silhouette,
and it says there must be more to life than
(16:28):
having everything. Yes, there is, but I won't tell you
what it is. Donald Trump, perfume, what the hell is this?
And is this honestly what happens on your fiftieth birthday?
Because if so, I am changing my birthdate and I'll
go older because I know I won't be able to
pass for younger next year. When they say, isn't this
(16:49):
your fiftieth birthday? Nope, that was last year. Sorry you
missed it. No big deal, no reason to do anything.
I'm fifty one. I'm just I'm skipping fifty. If this
is what happens on your fiftieth freaking birthday, so weird.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Scott Bodies News Radio eleven ten k.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
FAD Enigma's never age. Have you noticed that?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You know I have.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I should print out another copy of this and we
can read it as though we're in a play. Do
you want to be Donald or Jeffrey? What a choice? Yeah,
Sophie had an easier choice, all right. Kevin emails and
says Scott, I turned fifty last month. All I got
was a T shirt that says welcome to the old ball.
I can't read that welcome to the old club. I
(17:34):
feel like I was cheated. I need a pal. A
pal is a wonderful thing. Has anyone ever said that?
I mean since like eighteen sixty eight? A pal is
a wonderful thing. That's right, spanky, A pal is a
(17:56):
wonderful thing. Let's see here. It's a very wealthy and
important person's birthday. It's his fiftieth birthday. That's a big deal.
And I need to write something here for posterity in
this book. I know a pal is a wonderful thing.
(18:19):
You know who also is looking at this birthday card?
That Trump again says I have nothing to do with that.
I don't talk like that. The one Republican who's spoken
up that I thought would be like, oh yeah, this
proves that, this proves everything. This is shadow of the
doubt stuff. Is Congressman Thomas Massey. He's the guy who
(18:41):
recently decided he wants to be anti Trump everything, and
he now gives the media the chance to say, a
bipartisan group or a bipartisan and the bipartisan is this
guy an alleged Republican who is just super super liberal
now total anti Trump. Congressman Thomas Massey, who, according to
(19:03):
the Associated Press here is leading a bipartisan push. Yeah,
bipartisan means all the Democrats. And Thomas Massey, that's bipartisan
now leading a bipartisan push for a House vote to
force the Justice Department to release the Epstein Epstein files
downplayed the letters relevance entirely. Quote it doesn't prove anything.
(19:26):
Having a birthday card from Trump doesn't help the survivors
and the victims. Unquote. Oh even Thomas Massey, who also
did subtly throw in there that he believes it's real,
but he also said this doesn't prove anything. I don't
know that anyone looks at this and says, yep, this
is it. This is definitely Trump he and this proves everything.
(19:50):
May every day be another wonderful secret. If that's the
only thing that's written here, I think that it would
give us license to look at and go right, what
does he mean? But when the rest of it is
talking about enigmas? And there must be more to life
than having everything? Yes, there is, but I won't tell
you what to do. I don't know if I've made
(20:11):
this clear, but I think this card is stupid, fake
and hilarious. And I may have exhausted the relevance and
entertainment value of this card ten minutes ago, which hadn't
stopped me from continuing to this point. I might be done.
I don't know. We'll see Fox News update next, Scott Boys,
(20:33):
Lucy Chapman. Do we need to do another traffic update
Lucy on Dodge Street?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Nope, all clear East found Dodge at ninety four. That
crash is all cleared and in traffic's moving.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Well that's the update. Then that's a good update. Nice job.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I meant to the people who cleared the wreckage, the
smoldering wreck that was out there on Dodge.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
How do you know it was smoldering? You don't know?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
You don't, Yes, I do. I'm the one who caused
the accident On my way into work this morning, I
was running late and I just started shoving cars in
front of me into the ditch. And as I looked
at my rear view, I had a little smile on
my face, going, Ah, it's smoldering, and that'll be smoldering
for hours to come. So that's how I know, Lucy,
(21:20):
That's how I know.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Rejected denied note, how dare you?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Lucy waited until September ninth. Every year Lucy gets one
opportunity to reject something I say, usually this one. Usually
it happens in the nine o'clock hour on January second.
But this year she waited, lide and wait like a
cobra about to strike. September ninth. Well played nine nine.
(21:49):
Must have driven you crazy to wait this long, but
that means you're out. You don't get any more opportunities
to reject me for the rest of the year.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Denied what to reject? That there are rules, There'll be many,
There'll be many, many times.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Democrats on the House Oversight Committee release yesterday what they
say is a sexually suggestive letter written to Jeffrey Epstein,
purportedly signed by and written by President Donald Trump. Now
he has denied writing it. He also denied drawing the
picture of a woman around the writing on there. And
(22:31):
I did take a little time earlier in the program
to read and mock the letter that Trump signed and
purportedly this is supposed to be a conversation between Donald
Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. I read that a couple of
times earlier, and I am not going to read it again.
(22:54):
We are lucy. If you decided which part you want
to play here, I.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Have decided to let you tell me which part I will.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
You can be Donald that way, I'll take it upon
myself to be Jeffrey Epstein, a notorious name in American
history here. So I'll say the voiceover part, and then
you be Donald and I'll be Jeffrey, and we will
read this birthday letter. Because this is totally how a
couple of pals talk. Here's how it starts, voiceover. There
(23:33):
must be more to life than having everything, Donald.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yes, there is, but I won't tell you what it.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Is, Jeffrey, nor will I since I also know what
it is.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
We have certain things in common, Jeffrey.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yes, we do. Come to think of.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
It, Enigma's been every age. Have you noticed that.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
As a matter of fact, it was clear to me
the last time.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I saw you, a pal. That's a wonderful thing. Happy birthday,
and may every day be another for another wonderful secret.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
I know this.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Much. Cheers true mad Jesus. True.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Yeah, this is the truest thing I've ever heard, is
this little conversation between Donald and Jeffrey, not don and
jeff not Donnie and Jeffy.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Scott Voorhees News Radio eleven ten kfab, there's Lucy Chapman.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I'm Scott Vorhees. Let me tell you the response of
getting here in the inbox. It's we're making the kids
feel uncomfortable because mommy and daddy are fighting. Now I'm
going to reveal to everyone, including maybe you, why this is.
But first let's have an adult conversation about our ridiculous spat.
(25:19):
And is always the case with married couples, and Lucy
and I are married, but not to each other.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I didn't realize we were having a spat, so you're
gonna have to explain it to me.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
As is always the case in a marital spat, it's
never a big thing that you end up fighting about.
That's the underlying cause, and it's a little thing that
suddenly causes the whole thing to fall down. Okay, so
the little thing here is I mentioned that Tom Hanks
(25:51):
was supposed to get an award from West Point, and
West Point decided they weren't going to do the ceremony.
We don't really know why, but President Trump says, we
don't need destructive, woke recipients getting our cherished American awards.
I said, Trump, or Hanks has made a lot of
movies celebrating the American military and service members and honoring
(26:15):
especially the Greatest generation from World War Two. That's why
West Point wanted to give him an award. And then
I said, admittedly to needle Lucy, because I know that
Lucy seems to believe all of the crazy conspiracy theories
that she sees on ex Twitter. I said, I don't
know anyone who doesn't like Tom Hanks, knowing that Lucy
(26:37):
would not be able to not take a swing at
that one, and she did, which caused me to play
one of my favorite little sound effects.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Sounds like Lucy has a conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
And I said, all right, fine, you have the whole
table here, you tell me what it is that Tom
Hanks did or is accused of doing that you don't like,
You wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Do it, No, because because he hasn't been officially accused
of anything, it is all just conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
And you believe it.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I what what didn't say?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I what about? And this has I believe that this
has nothing to do with Tom Hanks. This has to
do with someone who achieves a certain level of notoriety,
whether it's entertainment, politics, or whatever. Immediately you have people
that want to just start trying to take that person down.
Why do you believe everything you read about these these
(27:36):
pathetic snipers online that you want to take shots at
someone who they don't know, they don't have anything about.
But I can start a rumor and let's see if
it spreads.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
No, I don't think that's the way it went. I
didn't believe anything about him or a number of other
celebrities that have been accused of some of the stuff.
But when you see it over and over and over
and over again from different sources, yet you do kind
of stop and go. Oh. And as far as the
(28:06):
West Point Award, that's that's fine. You want to give
an actor who was acting in movies, you want to
honor them for their contribution to the military. That doesn't
even make sense if you want to if you want
to honor somebody who has done a lot for the military,
why not Gary Sonise.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I think that would be an excellent choice.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I just don't understand why.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Tom Hanks would probably agree with you. They acted together
and Forrest Gump, Yeah it's Lieutenant Dan. All right, let
me explain what's really going on here.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Okay, I'm ready, And like I said a moment ago,
anytime you've got major problems, it's always some little thing
that kind of tends to like this is the last Straw.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Have you ever seen the movie Nobody? I think that
you would really like that movie. It's Bob Odenkirk as
an action hero, which sounds completely stupid and it is,
except that it isn't and it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I think he saw the previous but anyway, I'll check
it out.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Well. The thing about the movie Nobody that I love
so much is there are all these horrible things happening
to Bob Odenkirk, who's seemingly just a normal guy, and
there's these terrible things that happen right at the start
of the movie, someone breaks into his house. That's kind
of how it starts. And it's just one thing after another,
(29:40):
and he's holding it together. He's good, he's calm, he's
dealing with it. And then his daughter says something that
is maybe just about the most insignificant thing that anyone
in the world could say, and he just grabs his
(30:02):
keys and says, I'll be right back, like that's that's
the thing that sets him off. It's a it's an
action movie with a comedian sensibility that's so darkly funny.
It's called Nobody, and I love it. So let me
tell you what my little insignificant thing is That drawer
(30:23):
you leave open upstairs in the little break area of
the radio station.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Did I leave open?
Speaker 1 (30:30):
It's got to be you. You're the one who, like
they did it once. You're the one who left the
note mocking me for closing it.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
That was me.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Every day I come in here and upstairs I go.
The first thing I do when I come in, one
of the first things I do is I go and
make a little protein shake. I have to go up
to the water cooler. That's where the water is and
it plays for it. I fill up my little water bottle.
And there are some cabinets, little slighty cabinets, and there's
(31:05):
one that's open every single day, and I close it
because having the cabinet open, like, here's where the plates
and the forks and the spoons and stuff are. Knowing
it's that. The reason we have a cabinet door there
is we shut the door just so if we have
guests in the building, they're like, oh, hey, I need
(31:25):
to use the restroom. Yes, right up there, and they
look over and goo, cabinet door is open. What is
this and so? And for that? For that re it's not.
It's an incredibly insignificant deal. So every day I close it.
And every day I come back here the next day
after leaving here very late in the evening some cases,
(31:46):
and the door is still closed. The next morning. Someone
from our morning crew who goes over there every morning,
opens that thing, gets whatever they need from there, and
then just leaves it open.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
And you think it's me.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
You're the one who left the note mocking me for
closing it. One time, I do think it's you, is
it not you?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
So for about three and a half years, I would
occasionally slip into your office and put googly eyes on pictures. Yes,
and you never caught me for that. And now you're
gonna blame me for a cabinet being opened?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Did you leave it? Do you? Are you the one
who leaves it open?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
No, I'm much more creative than that Google eyes.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
You have no idea how how insane is driving me.
I wake up in the middle of the night and
I think about that cabinet door, because that cabinet door
is it signifies everything else that's happening here, and I've
just I've focused all of it in on one door.
And here's the thing, Okay, I don't It doesn't even
(32:49):
have to be you that's leaving it open, though I'm
sure it is. It doesn't even have to be you.
It's someone. It's either you or it's her or and
if it's if it's him, then there's no there's no
rationalizing with that. That's just gonna be the way that is.
And I can, I can. I can handle anything. And
(33:13):
if it's not you, then it's probably her because she's
the same one who she goes into the production studio
and she turns down all the different sliders, and I've
told her, you don't need to do that. She's like,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Well, we women don't listen, Yeah, she goes.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I don't. And then I go in after she's in
there and everything's turned down, and I'm like, don't tell
me that you're not the one doing It's little it's
these little things that just make me think, you know what.
Every day I come in here and I'm I'm beating
my brains out in some instances for this team. And
(33:51):
this team, and this team just leaves doors doors, and
they don't right, and they don't think, they don't put
things back the way they're supposed to be, and and
I and I think why it is? Why? Yeah? Why
do I do it? I do it for this team,
and I love this team, and this team mocks me
(34:14):
by leaving notes for me, mocking me for closing cabinet doors.
And I've decided because there for a couple of days,
I'm like, you know what if these animals, if these
total human trash pandas want to destroy everything, like the
water cooler down here. I had to fight to get
us a new water too, because you guys break it
(34:36):
on me and I had to fight to get it
a water cooler. And I and for a couple of days,
I'm like, fine, you guys want to leave this open,
I'm then I'll just leave it. You guys, this is
the way you want it. Apparently I'm the one in
the wrong for thinking we just need to close draw
you got. I probably come to your house. All the
doors are open. They're just laundry piled up everywhere. Stuff's
(34:59):
all walking in the dishwasher. You got spoons laying face
up where the water pools inside of the spoon and
the detergent gets on there. Now you gotta read clean
the spoon because someone hadn't figured out that's not how
spoons go the basket. The bulls face up. That's probably
what I find at your house. And I've said, fine,
(35:22):
if that's the way you guys want it, fight And
for a couple of days, a couple of weeks ago,
I decided I'm not gonna let it bother me. But
you know what what happened was bothering me. It was
bothering me. Of course it's always open, and I was
leaving it open, going fine, you guys want it this way,
and then I walk up in the middle of the
night and all I can think about is that damn door. Wow,
(35:46):
And I thought, I'm gonna keep closing it. As long
as I still have the passion and the fire that
burns within me to close that door. They can't get me.
And that's they, that's any outside force in my life
that's trying to bring me down. I've put all of
(36:09):
it on that stupid blanking door, and I'm gonna come in.
I'm gonna close it every single day. And when I stop,
that's when you know I've completely died inside and I
need to go walk into oncoming traffic. But until then,
and I'm telling you, I've replenished. I've got years ahead
(36:31):
of me of closing that door. You guys can leave
it open all you want. I'm gonna keep closing that door.
I'll be the only person who cares. But as long
as I still care, that door will be closed.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
So should we be watching for somebody that has completely
given up and is ready to walk out in front
of traffic because that door sticks. And every time they
leave it open so that they don't have to fight
with it, the next morning it's closed.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
It is you. It's not me door.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I would tell you if it was me.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
That door used to stick because someone painted it and
then they didn't exercise the door. The door doesn't stick anymore.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
See, I didn't know that it still because.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
You haven't tried to close it. Because you haven't tried,
you assume it still. You've you've fallen into the fifty
ten disease, which is something's broken. There's nothing we can
do about it. We're just gonna leave it broken forever.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Oh is that a thing? Yes, that makes so much sense.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
None of this should be on the radio, but we
never have a chance to meet and talk off the radio.
So I gotta do this here otherwise I'm gonna lose
my mind even more than it's a parent. I've already
lost it.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Okay, so we're good now, Lucy.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
I love you, I adore you, and even though you
mock me every day leaving notes or googly eyes on
pictures of the mike. This was our engagement picture alle
in particular, the first one is a picture of me
(38:05):
and my wife, and when we got engaged my step mom.
My step mom said I'm gonna take a picture you guys.
This will be your engagement picture. And I don't know,
I guess my wife probably framed it and she gave
it to me, and that's our and I put it
on my desk at work, and you would you wouldn't
put googly eyes on me. It's one of the few
good pictures of me that's ever been taken, and you
(38:25):
destroyed it.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
I didn't destroy it. If you notice, I never put
googly eyes on the kid's art because it was paper
and they might have stuck to it.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Oh, that stuff's garbage. My daughter painted a picture of
me wearing my pink tie because that's the tie award
a daddy daughter dance when she was preschool age, and
she she wrote, she painted a picture. It's a happy
Father's Day. And it's a picture of me, all oblong
(38:53):
and weird looking, you know, like a little kid draws someone.
And I've got no arms, but I got that pink
tie on.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
How did she get it on without arms?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Yeah, someone put it on me. Clip on so I'll
look I that everything in my life is dependent on
either closing the door or impressing upon the nice people
with whom I work that the door needs to be closed.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Set up a hidden camera.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Leaving it open. It's trashy. I'll trust me. There's nothing
I want to do more. But I'm not going to
set up a hidden camera because I don't know the
first thing about that kind of thing, and I'm not
going to spend the money on heides. Besides, I know
it's you.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
When when it is over, yes, when nobody has left
it open, what are you going to think and worry about?
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Trust me, this is a small thing.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
You can occupy your time and you don't have to
think about anything of real consequence.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Lucy, trust me when I tell you, Trust me when
I tell you. If for some reason either let me
tell the other thing I've thought about doing with that door,
ripping it completely off of its little track. There's no
hinges on it, so it's on a track. I've thought
I would feel so good if I were just to
(40:14):
rip that door off there and just leave it on
the floor, like all right, this is the way you
guys want it. That's how much it bothers me. But
I haven't done that because I don't throw golf clubs.
I don't throw temper tantrums. I did kick a trash
can last week. It felt great. I might do stuff
like that more. I didn't realize how much fun it
would be to be a complete psychopath. For a half second,
(40:36):
I kicked a trash can.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
That's where it starts. Yeah, here is my oh ish.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
I was going to tell you, though, if for some
reason the door is no longer an issue, I will
have zero problem finding something else to obsess about.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Well, my wish for you will be this. I hope
that the greatest trouble that you have in your life
is wondering if the door of the cap is open.
It has to be, because if that is your greatest problem.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
It's not okay, you see, you're you're completely missing the point.
It's not about the.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Door, the one that keeps you up at night, by
your own admission.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
But Lucy, like I said, it's not the door. I've
taken all the other stress in my life and I
have put it onto that door.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Oh so cupping it off of the frame would actually.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Bear because I can close that door behind it. It
just is one finger. I just slide it closed. It's
just one finger. It's real easy. It doesn't stick anymore.
I cleaned it up.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
I took all the little buffalo wild wings wipes that
were just blocking. I cleaned it all up. I did
that long time ago. Did not know that, but that
I can close that door. All the other problems I
have in my life I can't do anything about, but
I can close that damn door.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Now you've given me something to think about.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
How about think about that it looks trashy. Let's say
the president that the president of the company, the president
of the United States, the president of the Dundee Homos Association.
I don't care. Someone comes into the building and they
walk up there and go, I want to use the restroom,
or do you have any water? Yeah, that's right up here.
Do you have a microwave that I can warm up
(42:36):
my teeth? Yeah, it's right up here. And they come
up there and there's just this door open, and here's
some plants and forks and cups and stuff strewn all
over the place. It looks trashy. And that's why I
close the door. And also that's that's without applying any
other issues to the door. On its face, you got
(42:58):
to close the door.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
I think I think you're onto something in that when
you started to mention the homeowners association. Yeah, that's what
we need. We need a building owners association, a BOA.
We need a BOA.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Did you hear Emery Songer and I yesterday, we're trying
to figure out what the phillies Karen woman, the woman
it took that, that's my ball, what she probably does
for a living. And I said, well, I guarantee she's
the president of her homeowners association. And then no, no, no, no, no,
it goes better. And then I said, no, no, no, wait,
she's the former president of her homeowners association who still
(43:37):
goes and tells the current president of the HOA how
to do her job unsolicited. The current president of the
HOA has never asked her for advice, and this woman
still goes and bothers like, hey, I don't know if
you noticed this, but the Johnson's down there painted their
fence a little and like, I've never asked for her
opinion once. She just keeps telling me she's micromanaging. She hasn't.
(43:58):
She's not the president anymore. She needs to leave me alone.
That's who that woman is.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
I can see that. And the Homeowners' associations are just
pure evil in my opinion. I've got a great story
for you on my page at kfab dot com.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
You're not even gonna tell me on the radio.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Yeah, this like older guy he's like seventy seven lives alone. Yeah,
he is most likely or very probably going to lose
his home because the homeowners association put a lean on
it because he didn't power wash the one wall outside
and there was a ladder outside up against the house
(44:38):
and there was a bucket of water. But he didn't
get the mail, so he didn't know that they were
finding him fifty dollars a day and now it is
thirty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
That didn't happen here.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
No, And I clearly stayed on that story because I
hate it when that happens.
Speaker 4 (44:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Yeah, it clearly states this is not in Omaha, but
it sure could be.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Oh sure could be. Yeah, that's where you have rational
common sense adults come in there and go, all right,
we're not gonna find this guy for doing all this.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
They're trying to foreclose on his own they're not letting go.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
We're gonna make an example of this guy.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Anyway, that story is I.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
Guar he's probably a Trump supporter and he had a
sign in his yard and they decided to take it
out on him. I don't know, maybe, but I can
tell you one thing. That woman, the lady with the baseball. Yeah,
Philly's game would agree with me. At that door up
there in the break room needs to be closed.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
Scott Boys Mornings nine to eleven on News Radio eleven
to ten KFAB
Scott Vordiez, I turned fifty in just over a year
from now. My hair turned fifty seventeen years ago. But
the rest of me, yeah, the rest of me. I
turned fifty in just over a year from now, and
I've never I'm not concerned about it. I wasn't concerned
(00:23):
about it, but now I kind of am. Is this
the kind of thing that happens when you turn fifty?
You get these alleged friends of yours going, I have
a great idea. Let's put together a little birthday book,
and we'll get some of your friends to write things
like this in the birthday book. This is the Epstein
(00:46):
Happy fiftieth Birthday birthday Book. The Democrats released it on
the House Oversight Committee. They released this yesterday, which is
described as a sexually suggestive letter to Jeffrey Epstein, purportedly
signed by President Trump. He said, I don't talk like that,
(01:08):
and I didn't sign that, and I don't draw pictures.
Let's take a look first at apparently what is this
page in the book. It's all typed out and written.
The only thing that seems to be in pen on
there is the armless figure of a woman. I presume
(01:35):
it's a woman, I say, I presume, because you've got
a little and a half circles there in the chest
region to suggest here is where some breasts might be.
The hips do tend to come out in a womanly way.
(02:00):
And some have suggested that Trump's signature is in a
rather suggestive place, and Trump's got that kind of scratching
up and down signature in the in the pubis region.
That would be the I suppose, the sexually suggestive part
(02:20):
of this. And here's what the thing says. And this
is I'm just going to read it the way it's written.
It's in like stage directions, and here's exactly what it says,
quote voiceover. There must be more to life than having everything. Donald, Yes,
(02:47):
there is, but I won't tell you what it is, Jeffrey,
nor will I since I also know what it is. Donald.
We have certain things in common, Jeffrey. Jeffrey, Yes, we do,
come to think of it, Donald, Enigma's never age. Have
(03:14):
you noticed that, Jeffrey. As a matter of fact, it
was clear to me the last time I saw you, Donald,
A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy birthday, and may
every day be another wonderful secret. Donald J Trump, I
(03:45):
should have warn you before I read that, in case
you have a weak gag reflex. Oh maybe it's good,
maybe because I already got it all out earlier. Upon
seeing this and reading it, I was relieved because I
had two much bile in my system. That problem has
been solved, and I'm not chucking because it's it's gross
(04:11):
or suggested. This is just about the worst stupidest thing
I've ever seen. And this was given by apparently a
wonderful pal. This was given to someone for his fiftieth birthday.
If this is what is in store for me in
just over a year from now, in fact, I will
be disappointed if I don't get exactly this now for
(04:35):
my fiftieth birthday. But in jest, of course, you know
my friends will do it with They're like, all right,
we're gonna do the Trump Epstein thing, except we're gonna
draw a picture of a guy, an anatomically correct picture
of a guy. That that would be my buddies, That's
what they would do. What pardon my language, What the
(04:57):
hell is this? What is this? What are we looking
at here? And what did the Democrats seeing this? This
is see we told you well, he says, may every
day be another wonderful secret. It's amazing that the media,
in talking about how they Democrats in the House Oversight
(05:19):
Committee have released this letter to Epstein purportedly signed by
President Trump, which they do point out he has denied,
and by the way, sued the Wall Street Journal when
they printed this and said, yeah, here's what Trump gave
to jeff Jeffrey on his fiftieth birthday. Trump sued them.
He filed a ten billion dollar lawsuit against the Wall
(05:41):
Street Journal and the Democrats, you know, say, I see
this proves it, and it's funny the media and a
lot of the stories I've seen about this, the media
only includes that last line, a pal is a wonderful thing,
happy birthday, and may every day be another wonderful secret,
(06:06):
suggesting we know what the secret is. We're going to
the island and we've got all these underage girls and
we victimize them, and we're gonna keep it a secret. Now.
I admit, if you only see that, you look at
(06:27):
this and go, well, that's potentially odd, isn't it. But
when you look at it in the totality of the
whole thing, that starts with voiceover and it's supposed to
be this conversation between these two guys that sounds just
(06:48):
freaking weird. Well it's because they're weird, are they? Or
is this resist written by some weirdo who I don't know.
It sounded like they were trying to make an ad
for like a perfume or a cologne. Remember those great
ads in the eighties that were complete non sequiturs. Uh.
(07:11):
Saturday Night Life did a great job of spoofing them,
and it would just be you know, this woman in
various stages of duress, just running this way and that,
and ridiculous voiceovers and Dana Carvey, you know, looking off
in the distance like I tried to love her but
(07:32):
it wasn't enough, liar, you know, just stupid crazy. That's
That's kind of what this looks like. It's like an
AI version of right, a really dumb conversation between two guys,
and at the end we say Christian Dior cologne or whatever, like,
oh wow, that doesn't make any sense at all. That's
(07:54):
what would That's what we would see here. Let's look
a little more specifically at this. Does Donald Trump talk
like this? No, Because if they had actually had an
entire conversation between Donald and Jeffrey. It would be nine
(08:17):
pages of Donald and then like one page or one
little line by Jeffrey going yeah, you're right, and that
would probably and then sign Donald J. Trump. Well, frankly,
the fiftieth birthday is really something I someday when I
turned fifty. It's a long time from now. Jeffrey's very old.
(08:40):
It's gonna be an amazing thing. Fifty years. Well, I'll
tell you what. Fifty What a number, right, am I right?
It's bigger than forty nine. Forty nine not so bad
a number. We get along very well. But fifty if
he is a bigger number than forty nine, not so
big as fifty one, let me tell you. And I
think you know what I'm talking about, and go on
for like seven pages, and then it's like Jeffrey after
(09:05):
Trump finally got around and saying it's a happy birthday,
Jeffrey go thank you, Donald, and then it would say
Donald J. Trump.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
No drawing, No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
The drawing would have to be like oblong, and she
had to be lying on her side and it would stretch.
She'd have like the longest legs ever, like we're just
going down the one leg and coming back up the
other in this weird silhouette of what's supposed to be
a woman. This is not how Trump speaks. This is
(09:39):
frankly not how anyone speaks. I don't and apparently this
book is all in this form. It's like someone thought
it'd be just really really swell to write up all
this stuff and then have these people sign it. They
(10:00):
there are some people that say, this doesn't look like
a signature. I don't know. It kind of looks like
a signature. But I think it's also highly likely as
someone gave it to Trump and said, will you sign this?
It's a birthday card for Jeffrey? You bet Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah,
he gives a lot of money Donald, and then he
(10:21):
went on with his life. He didn't even read it,
look at it, or like who knows, or maybe since
they just they clearly put his words and made up
this weird little conversation between these guys, they probably just
took his signature and just copied it on there. Did
that technology exist in what this would have been like
(10:44):
two thousand and three, I think, yeah, two thousand and three,
fiftieth birthday album. Why would someone take someone's signature from
something else and just crudely paste it on this Because
in nineteen ninety five or six ninety six, I was
(11:05):
a fledgling talk radio host, not the total amateur I
am now, but I was a fledgling talk radio host
in the college station, and Carney and I wanted to
put some flyers up around campus at dear Old UNK
to promote my radio show. I don't know why. It
was awful, but it was super fun to do, and
(11:26):
I had the radio teacher there gave me two hours
every day from noon to two to do pretty much
whatever I wanted. It was awesome, So I thought people
need to hear this, and I put up flyers Oliver
campus well at un K. Certainly at that time, if
you were going to paste a flyer on anything, you
had to have the stamp of the vice chancellor for
(11:47):
student affairs. Her name, I just lose her name. I
think it was Barbara Snyder, a nice enough woman, but
we decided she was the enemy because like, why do
we have to have her signature on something before me?
So did I get her signature on my flyers?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
No.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I took a flyer off one of the bulletin boards.
I just cut off her a signature, and I just
pasted that on the piece of paper promoting my radio show,
and I made a billion copies and I put them
all over the campus and her signature was on it.
She's like, I don't remember signing this. And it said
on there, you know, like it was called talk Radio
for Beginners, Radio station time, stupid picture of me probably,
(12:30):
and then it said the favorite radio show of and
then the purported signature of Vice Chancellor Barbara Snyder, which
I had just crudely just pasted on there, and it
looked real enough, kind of funny. I thought it was
kind of funny. You know who didn't think it was funny,
Barbara Snyder. I remember being called into her office. What
(12:53):
is this? I didn't sign this, I didn't approve of this.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
But do you like it?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Have you listened to you want to come on the show? No,
I don't want to come on your show.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
You might like it?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah, yeah, I just I thought it was funny, But
it was the same thing. I took the signature off
something else, taped it on there, made a photocopy, which is,
by the way, how this looks. It looks like it's
a total photocopied thing from It's the book is not
nothing's written, it's it's just all typed. Like I said,
(13:24):
like stage directions in the worst play I've ever seen,
enigmas never age. Have you noticed that? Yeah, this didn't
age very well. I want to know who wrote this,
so so we can make an example of this person.
You know what, It doesn't prove to me that Trump
(13:44):
had anything to do with this. He's right, he said,
this is not how I talk, and I don't draw pictures,
he said his exact quote quote, these are not my words,
not the way I talk. Also, I don't draw pictures
on quote. I can't imagine even Trump's most arduous detractors
(14:09):
believe that he wrote any of this. This is so stupid.
But it's not like Trump's level of babbel stupid, which
is often entertaining and sometimes causes someone to roll their
eyes in a way that they need to see an optometrist,
But it's not this. I don't know. Do you think
(14:33):
we'll ever know anything about this whole Epstein business. This
is so everything about this is super bizarre. You have
like the people in Congress saying, all right, we've seen
all that, and you have the Biden administration now the
Trump administration. The people have seen all of this stuff
have all said, well, we want to we don't want
to release all of this. We don't want to identify
(14:55):
the victims. Meanwhile, a parade of Epstein's purported victims had
a new conference last week where they were all out
there saying, Hi, my name is this, and I was
a victim, and here's this person, and we're all victims
and we're all identifying ourselves. And then they were like,
and we're gonna name names. And then they didn't name
any names. And then they went back to Congress and said,
(15:18):
all right, well you've seen here are the women in
the report. They're okay being named. Can you name the
names now? And they said, no, we don't want to
identify the vict Like, I don't know, if you saw
the news conference, the victims just identified themselves. This is
the dumbest game of pingpong. This whole thing is so weird,
(15:41):
and I think it's pretty obvious at the root of
all of this, you do have some some young women
who were victimized. I don't know how all of that worked.
I don't know did anyone I mean, if Epstein's got
a private island and it's just full of this group
of like misfit fourteen year olds. Did any parents file
a missing person's report? How did any of that work?
(16:04):
I don't know the whole thing. None of it makes
any sense. And then when the Democrats on the House
Oversight Committee say, well, we've got the proof. Here it is.
It's a crudely drawn picture, a sketch of a woman's silhouette,
and it says there must be more to life than
(16:28):
having everything. Yes, there is, but I won't tell you
what it is. Donald Trump, perfume, what the hell is this?
And is this honestly what happens on your fiftieth birthday?
Because if so, I am changing my birthdate and I'll
go older because I know I won't be able to
pass for younger next year. When they say, isn't this
(16:49):
your fiftieth birthday? Nope, that was last year. Sorry you
missed it. No big deal, no reason to do anything.
I'm fifty one. I'm just I'm skipping fifty. If this
is what happens on your fiftieth freaking birthday, so weird.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Scott Bodies News Radio eleven ten k.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
FAD Enigma's never age. Have you noticed that?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You know I have.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I should print out another copy of this and we
can read it as though we're in a play. Do
you want to be Donald or Jeffrey? What a choice? Yeah,
Sophie had an easier choice, all right. Kevin emails and
says Scott, I turned fifty last month. All I got
was a T shirt that says welcome to the old ball.
I can't read that welcome to the old club. I
(17:34):
feel like I was cheated. I need a pal. A
pal is a wonderful thing. Has anyone ever said that?
I mean since like eighteen sixty eight? A pal is
a wonderful thing. That's right, spanky, A pal is a
(17:56):
wonderful thing. Let's see here. It's a very wealthy and
important person's birthday. It's his fiftieth birthday. That's a big deal.
And I need to write something here for posterity in
this book. I know a pal is a wonderful thing.
(18:19):
You know who also is looking at this birthday card?
That Trump again says I have nothing to do with that.
I don't talk like that. The one Republican who's spoken
up that I thought would be like, oh yeah, this
proves that, this proves everything. This is shadow of the
doubt stuff. Is Congressman Thomas Massey. He's the guy who
(18:41):
recently decided he wants to be anti Trump everything, and
he now gives the media the chance to say, a
bipartisan group or a bipartisan and the bipartisan is this
guy an alleged Republican who is just super super liberal
now total anti Trump. Congressman Thomas Massey, who, according to
(19:03):
the Associated Press here is leading a bipartisan push. Yeah,
bipartisan means all the Democrats. And Thomas Massey, that's bipartisan
now leading a bipartisan push for a House vote to
force the Justice Department to release the Epstein Epstein files
downplayed the letters relevance entirely. Quote it doesn't prove anything.
(19:26):
Having a birthday card from Trump doesn't help the survivors
and the victims. Unquote. Oh even Thomas Massey, who also
did subtly throw in there that he believes it's real,
but he also said this doesn't prove anything. I don't
know that anyone looks at this and says, yep, this
is it. This is definitely Trump he and this proves everything.
(19:50):
May every day be another wonderful secret. If that's the
only thing that's written here, I think that it would
give us license to look at and go right, what
does he mean? But when the rest of it is
talking about enigmas? And there must be more to life
than having everything? Yes, there is, but I won't tell
you what to do. I don't know if I've made
(20:11):
this clear, but I think this card is stupid, fake
and hilarious. And I may have exhausted the relevance and
entertainment value of this card ten minutes ago, which hadn't
stopped me from continuing to this point. I might be done.
I don't know. We'll see Fox News update next, Scott Boys,
(20:33):
Lucy Chapman. Do we need to do another traffic update
Lucy on Dodge Street?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Nope, all clear East found Dodge at ninety four. That
crash is all cleared and in traffic's moving.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Well that's the update. Then that's a good update. Nice job.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I meant to the people who cleared the wreckage, the
smoldering wreck that was out there on Dodge.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
How do you know it was smoldering? You don't know?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
You don't, Yes, I do. I'm the one who caused
the accident On my way into work this morning, I
was running late and I just started shoving cars in
front of me into the ditch. And as I looked
at my rear view, I had a little smile on
my face, going, Ah, it's smoldering, and that'll be smoldering
for hours to come. So that's how I know, Lucy,
(21:20):
That's how I know.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Rejected denied note, how dare you?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Lucy waited until September ninth. Every year Lucy gets one
opportunity to reject something I say, usually this one. Usually
it happens in the nine o'clock hour on January second.
But this year she waited, lide and wait like a
cobra about to strike. September ninth. Well played nine nine.
(21:49):
Must have driven you crazy to wait this long, but
that means you're out. You don't get any more opportunities
to reject me for the rest of the year.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Denied what to reject? That there are rules, There'll be many,
There'll be many, many times.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Democrats on the House Oversight Committee release yesterday what they
say is a sexually suggestive letter written to Jeffrey Epstein,
purportedly signed by and written by President Donald Trump. Now
he has denied writing it. He also denied drawing the
picture of a woman around the writing on there. And
(22:31):
I did take a little time earlier in the program
to read and mock the letter that Trump signed and
purportedly this is supposed to be a conversation between Donald
Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. I read that a couple of
times earlier, and I am not going to read it again.
(22:54):
We are lucy. If you decided which part you want
to play here, I.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Have decided to let you tell me which part I will.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
You can be Donald that way, I'll take it upon
myself to be Jeffrey Epstein, a notorious name in American
history here. So I'll say the voiceover part, and then
you be Donald and I'll be Jeffrey, and we will
read this birthday letter. Because this is totally how a
couple of pals talk. Here's how it starts, voiceover. There
(23:33):
must be more to life than having everything, Donald.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yes, there is, but I won't tell you what it.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Is, Jeffrey, nor will I since I also know what
it is.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
We have certain things in common, Jeffrey.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yes, we do. Come to think of.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
It, Enigma's been every age. Have you noticed that.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
As a matter of fact, it was clear to me
the last time.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I saw you, a pal. That's a wonderful thing. Happy birthday,
and may every day be another for another wonderful secret.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
I know this.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Much. Cheers true mad Jesus. True.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Yeah, this is the truest thing I've ever heard, is
this little conversation between Donald and Jeffrey, not don and
jeff not Donnie and Jeffy.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Scott Voorhees News Radio eleven ten kfab, there's Lucy Chapman.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I'm Scott Vorhees. Let me tell you the response of
getting here in the inbox. It's we're making the kids
feel uncomfortable because mommy and daddy are fighting. Now I'm
going to reveal to everyone, including maybe you, why this is.
But first let's have an adult conversation about our ridiculous spat.
(25:19):
And is always the case with married couples, and Lucy
and I are married, but not to each other.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I didn't realize we were having a spat, so you're
gonna have to explain it to me.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
As is always the case in a marital spat, it's
never a big thing that you end up fighting about.
That's the underlying cause, and it's a little thing that
suddenly causes the whole thing to fall down. Okay, so
the little thing here is I mentioned that Tom Hanks
(25:51):
was supposed to get an award from West Point, and
West Point decided they weren't going to do the ceremony.
We don't really know why, but President Trump says, we
don't need destructive, woke recipients getting our cherished American awards.
I said, Trump, or Hanks has made a lot of
movies celebrating the American military and service members and honoring
(26:15):
especially the Greatest generation from World War Two. That's why
West Point wanted to give him an award. And then
I said, admittedly to needle Lucy, because I know that
Lucy seems to believe all of the crazy conspiracy theories
that she sees on ex Twitter. I said, I don't
know anyone who doesn't like Tom Hanks, knowing that Lucy
(26:37):
would not be able to not take a swing at
that one, and she did, which caused me to play
one of my favorite little sound effects.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Sounds like Lucy has a conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
And I said, all right, fine, you have the whole
table here, you tell me what it is that Tom
Hanks did or is accused of doing that you don't like,
You wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Do it, No, because because he hasn't been officially accused
of anything, it is all just conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
And you believe it.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I what what didn't say?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I what about? And this has I believe that this
has nothing to do with Tom Hanks. This has to
do with someone who achieves a certain level of notoriety,
whether it's entertainment, politics, or whatever. Immediately you have people
that want to just start trying to take that person down.
Why do you believe everything you read about these these
(27:36):
pathetic snipers online that you want to take shots at
someone who they don't know, they don't have anything about.
But I can start a rumor and let's see if
it spreads.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
No, I don't think that's the way it went. I
didn't believe anything about him or a number of other
celebrities that have been accused of some of the stuff.
But when you see it over and over and over
and over again from different sources, yet you do kind
of stop and go. Oh. And as far as the
(28:06):
West Point Award, that's that's fine. You want to give
an actor who was acting in movies, you want to
honor them for their contribution to the military. That doesn't
even make sense if you want to if you want
to honor somebody who has done a lot for the military,
why not Gary Sonise.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I think that would be an excellent choice.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I just don't understand why.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Tom Hanks would probably agree with you. They acted together
and Forrest Gump, Yeah it's Lieutenant Dan. All right, let
me explain what's really going on here.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Okay, I'm ready, And like I said a moment ago,
anytime you've got major problems, it's always some little thing
that kind of tends to like this is the last Straw.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Have you ever seen the movie Nobody? I think that
you would really like that movie. It's Bob Odenkirk as
an action hero, which sounds completely stupid and it is,
except that it isn't and it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I think he saw the previous but anyway, I'll check
it out.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Well. The thing about the movie Nobody that I love
so much is there are all these horrible things happening
to Bob Odenkirk, who's seemingly just a normal guy, and
there's these terrible things that happen right at the start
of the movie, someone breaks into his house. That's kind
of how it starts. And it's just one thing after another,
(29:40):
and he's holding it together. He's good, he's calm, he's
dealing with it. And then his daughter says something that
is maybe just about the most insignificant thing that anyone
in the world could say, and he just grabs his
(30:02):
keys and says, I'll be right back, like that's that's
the thing that sets him off. It's a it's an
action movie with a comedian sensibility that's so darkly funny.
It's called Nobody, and I love it. So let me
tell you what my little insignificant thing is That drawer
(30:23):
you leave open upstairs in the little break area of
the radio station.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Did I leave open?
Speaker 1 (30:30):
It's got to be you. You're the one who, like
they did it once. You're the one who left the
note mocking me for closing it.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
That was me.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Every day I come in here and upstairs I go.
The first thing I do when I come in, one
of the first things I do is I go and
make a little protein shake. I have to go up
to the water cooler. That's where the water is and
it plays for it. I fill up my little water bottle.
And there are some cabinets, little slighty cabinets, and there's
(31:05):
one that's open every single day, and I close it
because having the cabinet open, like, here's where the plates
and the forks and the spoons and stuff are. Knowing
it's that. The reason we have a cabinet door there
is we shut the door just so if we have
guests in the building, they're like, oh, hey, I need
(31:25):
to use the restroom. Yes, right up there, and they
look over and goo, cabinet door is open. What is
this and so? And for that? For that re it's not.
It's an incredibly insignificant deal. So every day I close it.
And every day I come back here the next day
after leaving here very late in the evening some cases,
(31:46):
and the door is still closed. The next morning. Someone
from our morning crew who goes over there every morning,
opens that thing, gets whatever they need from there, and
then just leaves it open.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
And you think it's me.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
You're the one who left the note mocking me for
closing it. One time, I do think it's you, is
it not you?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
So for about three and a half years, I would
occasionally slip into your office and put googly eyes on pictures. Yes,
and you never caught me for that. And now you're
gonna blame me for a cabinet being opened?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Did you leave it? Do you? Are you the one
who leaves it open?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
No, I'm much more creative than that Google eyes.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
You have no idea how how insane is driving me.
I wake up in the middle of the night and
I think about that cabinet door, because that cabinet door
is it signifies everything else that's happening here, and I've
just I've focused all of it in on one door.
And here's the thing, Okay, I don't It doesn't even
(32:49):
have to be you that's leaving it open, though I'm
sure it is. It doesn't even have to be you.
It's someone. It's either you or it's her or and
if it's if it's him, then there's no there's no
rationalizing with that. That's just gonna be the way that is.
And I can, I can. I can handle anything. And
(33:13):
if it's not you, then it's probably her because she's
the same one who she goes into the production studio
and she turns down all the different sliders, and I've
told her, you don't need to do that. She's like,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Well, we women don't listen, Yeah, she goes.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I don't. And then I go in after she's in
there and everything's turned down, and I'm like, don't tell
me that you're not the one doing It's little it's
these little things that just make me think, you know what.
Every day I come in here and I'm I'm beating
my brains out in some instances for this team. And
(33:51):
this team, and this team just leaves doors doors, and
they don't right, and they don't think, they don't put
things back the way they're supposed to be, and and
I and I think why it is? Why? Yeah? Why
do I do it? I do it for this team,
and I love this team, and this team mocks me
(34:14):
by leaving notes for me, mocking me for closing cabinet doors.
And I've decided because there for a couple of days,
I'm like, you know what if these animals, if these
total human trash pandas want to destroy everything, like the
water cooler down here. I had to fight to get
us a new water too, because you guys break it
(34:36):
on me and I had to fight to get it
a water cooler. And I and for a couple of days,
I'm like, fine, you guys want to leave this open,
I'm then I'll just leave it. You guys, this is
the way you want it. Apparently I'm the one in
the wrong for thinking we just need to close draw
you got. I probably come to your house. All the
doors are open. They're just laundry piled up everywhere. Stuff's
(34:59):
all walking in the dishwasher. You got spoons laying face
up where the water pools inside of the spoon and
the detergent gets on there. Now you gotta read clean
the spoon because someone hadn't figured out that's not how
spoons go the basket. The bulls face up. That's probably
what I find at your house. And I've said, fine,
(35:22):
if that's the way you guys want it, fight And
for a couple of days, a couple of weeks ago,
I decided I'm not gonna let it bother me. But
you know what what happened was bothering me. It was
bothering me. Of course it's always open, and I was
leaving it open, going fine, you guys want it this way,
and then I walk up in the middle of the
night and all I can think about is that damn door. Wow,
(35:46):
And I thought, I'm gonna keep closing it. As long
as I still have the passion and the fire that
burns within me to close that door. They can't get me.
And that's they, that's any outside force in my life
that's trying to bring me down. I've put all of
(36:09):
it on that stupid blanking door, and I'm gonna come in.
I'm gonna close it every single day. And when I stop,
that's when you know I've completely died inside and I
need to go walk into oncoming traffic. But until then,
and I'm telling you, I've replenished. I've got years ahead
(36:31):
of me of closing that door. You guys can leave
it open all you want. I'm gonna keep closing that door.
I'll be the only person who cares. But as long
as I still care, that door will be closed.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
So should we be watching for somebody that has completely
given up and is ready to walk out in front
of traffic because that door sticks. And every time they
leave it open so that they don't have to fight
with it, the next morning it's closed.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
It is you. It's not me door.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I would tell you if it was me.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
That door used to stick because someone painted it and
then they didn't exercise the door. The door doesn't stick anymore.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
See, I didn't know that it still because.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
You haven't tried to close it. Because you haven't tried,
you assume it still. You've you've fallen into the fifty
ten disease, which is something's broken. There's nothing we can
do about it. We're just gonna leave it broken forever.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Oh is that a thing? Yes, that makes so much sense.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
None of this should be on the radio, but we
never have a chance to meet and talk off the radio.
So I gotta do this here otherwise I'm gonna lose
my mind even more than it's a parent. I've already
lost it.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Okay, so we're good now, Lucy.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
I love you, I adore you, and even though you
mock me every day leaving notes or googly eyes on
pictures of the mike. This was our engagement picture alle
in particular, the first one is a picture of me
(38:05):
and my wife, and when we got engaged my step mom.
My step mom said I'm gonna take a picture you guys.
This will be your engagement picture. And I don't know,
I guess my wife probably framed it and she gave
it to me, and that's our and I put it
on my desk at work, and you would you wouldn't
put googly eyes on me. It's one of the few
good pictures of me that's ever been taken, and you
(38:25):
destroyed it.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
I didn't destroy it. If you notice, I never put
googly eyes on the kid's art because it was paper
and they might have stuck to it.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Oh, that stuff's garbage. My daughter painted a picture of
me wearing my pink tie because that's the tie award
a daddy daughter dance when she was preschool age, and
she she wrote, she painted a picture. It's a happy
Father's Day. And it's a picture of me, all oblong
(38:53):
and weird looking, you know, like a little kid draws someone.
And I've got no arms, but I got that pink
tie on.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
How did she get it on without arms?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Yeah, someone put it on me. Clip on so I'll
look I that everything in my life is dependent on
either closing the door or impressing upon the nice people
with whom I work that the door needs to be closed.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Set up a hidden camera.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Leaving it open. It's trashy. I'll trust me. There's nothing
I want to do more. But I'm not going to
set up a hidden camera because I don't know the
first thing about that kind of thing, and I'm not
going to spend the money on heides. Besides, I know
it's you.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
When when it is over, yes, when nobody has left
it open, what are you going to think and worry about?
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Trust me, this is a small thing.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
You can occupy your time and you don't have to
think about anything of real consequence.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Lucy, trust me when I tell you, Trust me when
I tell you. If for some reason either let me
tell the other thing I've thought about doing with that door,
ripping it completely off of its little track. There's no
hinges on it, so it's on a track. I've thought
I would feel so good if I were just to
(40:14):
rip that door off there and just leave it on
the floor, like all right, this is the way you
guys want it. That's how much it bothers me. But
I haven't done that because I don't throw golf clubs.
I don't throw temper tantrums. I did kick a trash
can last week. It felt great. I might do stuff
like that more. I didn't realize how much fun it
would be to be a complete psychopath. For a half second,
(40:36):
I kicked a trash can.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
That's where it starts. Yeah, here is my oh ish.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
I was going to tell you, though, if for some
reason the door is no longer an issue, I will
have zero problem finding something else to obsess about.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Well, my wish for you will be this. I hope
that the greatest trouble that you have in your life
is wondering if the door of the cap is open.
It has to be, because if that is your greatest problem.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
It's not okay, you see, you're you're completely missing the point.
It's not about the.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Door, the one that keeps you up at night, by
your own admission.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
But Lucy, like I said, it's not the door. I've
taken all the other stress in my life and I
have put it onto that door.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Oh so cupping it off of the frame would actually.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Bear because I can close that door behind it. It
just is one finger. I just slide it closed. It's
just one finger. It's real easy. It doesn't stick anymore.
I cleaned it up.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
I took all the little buffalo wild wings wipes that
were just blocking. I cleaned it all up. I did
that long time ago. Did not know that, but that
I can close that door. All the other problems I
have in my life I can't do anything about, but
I can close that damn door.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Now you've given me something to think about.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
How about think about that it looks trashy. Let's say
the president that the president of the company, the president
of the United States, the president of the Dundee Homos Association.
I don't care. Someone comes into the building and they
walk up there and go, I want to use the restroom,
or do you have any water? Yeah, that's right up here.
Do you have a microwave that I can warm up
(42:36):
my teeth? Yeah, it's right up here. And they come
up there and there's just this door open, and here's
some plants and forks and cups and stuff strewn all
over the place. It looks trashy. And that's why I
close the door. And also that's that's without applying any
other issues to the door. On its face, you got
(42:58):
to close the door.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
I think I think you're onto something in that when
you started to mention the homeowners association. Yeah, that's what
we need. We need a building owners association, a BOA.
We need a BOA.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Did you hear Emery Songer and I yesterday, we're trying
to figure out what the phillies Karen woman, the woman
it took that, that's my ball, what she probably does
for a living. And I said, well, I guarantee she's
the president of her homeowners association. And then no, no, no, no, no,
it goes better. And then I said, no, no, no, wait,
she's the former president of her homeowners association who still
(43:37):
goes and tells the current president of the HOA how
to do her job unsolicited. The current president of the
HOA has never asked her for advice, and this woman
still goes and bothers like, hey, I don't know if
you noticed this, but the Johnson's down there painted their
fence a little and like, I've never asked for her
opinion once. She just keeps telling me she's micromanaging. She hasn't.
(43:58):
She's not the president anymore. She needs to leave me alone.
That's who that woman is.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
I can see that. And the Homeowners' associations are just
pure evil in my opinion. I've got a great story
for you on my page at kfab dot com.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
You're not even gonna tell me on the radio.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Yeah, this like older guy he's like seventy seven lives alone. Yeah,
he is most likely or very probably going to lose
his home because the homeowners association put a lean on
it because he didn't power wash the one wall outside
and there was a ladder outside up against the house
(44:38):
and there was a bucket of water. But he didn't
get the mail, so he didn't know that they were
finding him fifty dollars a day and now it is
thirty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
That didn't happen here.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
No, And I clearly stayed on that story because I
hate it when that happens.
Speaker 4 (44:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Yeah, it clearly states this is not in Omaha, but
it sure could be.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Oh sure could be. Yeah, that's where you have rational
common sense adults come in there and go, all right,
we're not gonna find this guy for doing all this.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
They're trying to foreclose on his own they're not letting go.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
We're gonna make an example of this guy.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Anyway, that story is I.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
Guar he's probably a Trump supporter and he had a
sign in his yard and they decided to take it
out on him. I don't know, maybe, but I can
tell you one thing. That woman, the lady with the baseball. Yeah,
Philly's game would agree with me. At that door up
there in the break room needs to be closed.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
Scott Boys Mornings nine to eleven on News Radio eleven
to ten KFAB
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