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August 15, 2024 1 min
From 2011.  The government always has the BEST solutions!   
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Channel ninety three three.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Now a few words from the federal government.

Speaker 3 (00:04):
Social Security is running out of money and we're about
to get rid of it altogether, that is, unless you
can help. We're asking everyone to die young. This could
save billions of dollars and save Social Security. You don't
have to commit suicide, but what better time than now
to try hang gliding, base, jumping, hook or chasing. And
how about eating more red and meat? That stuff is

(00:26):
darn tasty. Hey, you know what's fun drinking heavily yeager bombs?
And speaking of bombs, how about vacationing in the Middle East?
And who says you shouldn't warm your mayonnaise in the
natural light of the sun? Ever had prostate cancer? Who
needs it? Die young? While your prostate is the size
of an immature grape. You know what might be up
there heaven and it could be epic. So what are

(00:49):
you waiting for? Live a little and die younger. Don't
be usy.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
This message brought to you by the Social Security Administration,
who reminds you that white water rafting can be exhilarating
and dangerous.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
L O L at five oh five brought to you
by Illegal Peach Search L. Ols on iHeartRadio,

Nerf's LOLs at 5:05 News

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