Why do people not like Pete Hegseth's tattoos?

This podcast edition of Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness features comedian Jesse Peyton.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jack gannon government sucks. The Suit of Happiness radio is DeLux.
Liberty and freedom will make you smile. A suit of
happing and us on your radio to al justice, cheeseburgers, libri.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hap breaking news. The CEO of Apple Apple Computer Tim Cook.
Tim Cook donate a million dollars to the Trump inauguration.
That reminds me, Hey, Siri, how do I get around
a US ban on child labor?

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Oh? Is that that's by doing that? Okay?

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hi, everyone thinks for turning on the radio. I'm Kenny
Webster joining me this afternoon. Brandon Walton is stopping by
from Texas scorecard dot Com.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
We will be traveling to the state capitol.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Where there's a fight a bruin over who is going
to be the Texas House speaker, and comedian Jesse Payton
will be here at the bottom of the hours to
hang out for that. But the big news today is
this thing with Pete Hegseth All Eyes on Washington, d C.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
Today. Get ready for a show. Well, it's already started.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Pete Hegseeth is president elect President Donald Trump's controversial pick
to lead the Pentagon. Why is he controversial? Okay, he's
got a couple of tattoos. One of them says deuce
vault dos valter or whatevers, the thing that the Crusaders
used to scream when they were fighting Muslims. And to
that point, the Democrats did vote to send Pete Hegseth
Overseas to fight Muslims back when he was in the military.

(01:26):
So if you didn't want him to be passionate about
doing a job, maybe you shouldn't have given him the job.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
What's the other thing they don't like about him?

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Oh yeah, anonymous sexual assault allegations.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
Pete hag Seth was accused of rape.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Pete Hagsath, for whatever it's worth, is considered to be
a very handsome man, and the people accusing him of
rape are anonymous, some of a gound and just flush
that down the toilet right now. If someone's actually accusing
him of something as serious as rape or sexual misconduct,
we deserve to know a little more than just the
fact that the allegation was made, Like who made it?

(02:02):
Where did it happen? So all right, I dismissed that
one then. And what's the other thing. He was in
charge of a veteran's rights group, and they claim that
there was financial misconductors, like how much financial misconduct We
don't know exactly, but we heard there was. So it's
kind of the same thing as the other allegations hearsay,

(02:23):
third party conjecture, some vague allegation with no evidence to
back it. Earlier today, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand of New York Boy,
she does not look good. This is remember when she
ran for president five years ago. She's aged twenty years
since then. Here she is earlier today, going off on
Pete Hegsat at the.

Speaker 4 (02:44):
Hearing in the DoD Everything you've said in these public
statements as politics, I don't want women. I don't want moms.
What's wrong with a mom? By the way, once you
have babies, you therefore are no longer able to be lethal.
I mean, you're basically saying women after they have children
can't ever serve in the military to combat. It's a
silly thing to say. It's a silly thing to say.
Beneath the position that you are aspiring to to denigrate

(03:07):
LGBTQ service members is a mistake. If you are a sharpshooter,
you're as lethal regardless of what your gender identity is.
Regardless of who you love. So please know this to
be a true statement. So you say, you say it
was a political thing, you say it undermined us social engineering.
I don't know why having someone having to publicly say

(03:31):
or not publicly say, who they love is social engineering.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
All right, stop right here the boy. She sure does
sound shrill, doesn't she.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Calm down, Kirsten, That's why you never got to be president.
This is what a professional actor looks like. She's not
really mad. But for the record, women serving in frontline
combat is a horrible idea. They're really different. A number
of ways of looking at this. Anna Simmons wrote about
this a while back blogger decade or so ago, woman

(04:03):
who actually served in the military, and pointed out what
we have pointed out on this radio show before. Every
sentient adult knows what happens when you mix healthy young
men and women together in small groups for extended periods
of time. Just look at any workplace couple's form. At
some point, how couples interact sexually, emotionally, happily or unhappily

(04:28):
makes life uncomfortable for those around them. Factor in intense
intimate conditions, and you could forget about adults being able
to stay professional twenty four to seven. Object lesson here
for anyone who disagrees would be to take a good
long look at what happened with General Petraeus. But I digress.
Those who favor lifting the combat exclusion ban engage in

(04:50):
a clever sleight of hands whenever they equate women serving
in combat with women serving in combat units. Big difference,
given women's performance over the past decade or two in
places like Afghanistan or Iraq. Who but a misogynist would
doubt their capacity for courage, aggressiveness, or grace under fire
at this point. But battles are like exclamation points. They

(05:13):
punctuate long stretches when there are no firefights, spend time
around soldiers when they are coming down from adrenaline highs,
when they're depressed or upset. They are prone to all
sorts of temptations. Alternatively, under groundhog daylight conditions, troops invariably
grow bored and frustrated.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
That's what happens. And then there's this folks.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Proponents of lifting the ban love to invoke desegregation as
the demise of things like don't ask, don't tell. Well,
we let the blacks and the whites work together. Why
can't we let the gays and the straits work together?
Why can't we let the military have men and women
fighting together in frontline combat?

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Because it's not the same thing.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Being black isn't the same thing as being gay, Being
a woman isn't the same thing as being African American.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
The whole thing is just silly.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Frankly, I've noticed, when you really pick at it, the
people that are accusing you of being homophobic or sexist,
they're the sexists. They're the homophobes. Racism and bigotry lie
at the opposite end of the spectrum from attraction. Mumping
all three together is absurd. There's no clear way to

(06:32):
put this. Heterosexual men like women. They compete for their attention.
That's what they do. Male male competition and a female choice.
No female has to leave a bar alone if she
doesn't want to, whereas at last call, lots of men do.
Don't they cast back through history or just look cross culturally,

(06:54):
men's abiding interest in women and women's interested in having
men be interested creates limitless potential for friction. Is this
really what we want in a combat unit? And it
seem obvious you could accuse Pete Hagsath of raping someone
or sexual misconduct. There's no evidence that that happened. You
can accuse Pete hag Seth of misappropriating funds when he

(07:18):
was in charge of a veteran's rights charity. I actually
there's really no proof that happened either. They're just vague allegations.
One thing you cannot do is say that he's wrong
when it comes to his policy positions, because having men
and women serve in frontline combat together is a horrible idea,
and it's very hard to find a military veteran who
served in frontline combat that would disagree with that.

Speaker 5 (07:40):
Our doctor told us the pills we took were just
a placebo. But he must not know what he's talking about,
because man, those suckers worked. This is Kenny Webster's pursuit
of happiness.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Two North Korean soldiers fighting for Russia were just captured
by the Ukrainian military. Ukraine's getting them to talk by
threatening to send them back to North Korea. That ought
to do it. Boy, Howdy, hi everyone, welcome back. Bottom
of the hour here Jesse Peyton comedian Jesse Peyton coming
up in a little bit. But first I wanted to

(08:23):
take a quick trip to Austin, Texas, where your tax
money is currently funding lawmakers' efforts to, among other things,
create new laws. Yes, my friends, how exciting it is.
The eighty ninth legislative session the legislature in the state
of Texas is happening right now. But who's going to

(08:43):
be the House Speaker? That's the big fight. Who's the
two candidates here, Dustin Burrows and David Cook. There was
this other guy who was a candidate.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Named Robert Morrow. I don't know if you know who
that is.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
He's a conspiracy theorist on the internet who thinks LBJ
murdered JFK. And he's not a serious candidate. But he
just dropped out of the race apparently. I don't think
anybody ever thought he was going to be the guy.
But whatever, I don't know. We will talk about the
strange and unusual on this radio show, even if it's pointless.
I digress, though. There are things happening today that will

(09:14):
affect your life as a Texas resident and taxpayer and voter.
So who better to report on what's going on right
now at the state Capitol than none other than Brandon
Waltons Texas scorecard dot Com. Brandon, what's the big news
down there today.

Speaker 6 (09:29):
Today's the first day of the session, right, there's one
hundred and forty days of this, but today's the day
that they're going to gabble in and all the eyes
are on right now, who's going to be the next
Speaker of the House. I mean, you laid it out exactly.
You've essentially got Dustin Burroughs and David Cook as the
major two candidates. Neither of them, at least does of
right now as we're talking, have released a list of

(09:50):
a majority of members. So there could be, you know,
several rounds of votings. You've got, you know, a Democrat
candidate who's thrown their hat in the ring. There could
be other candidates maybe that pop up at the last minute.
But one thing is for certain that this is unlike
what we've seen in sessions past, because normally the stuff
is all sort of buttoned up before then. It's been

(10:10):
a while since we've had a real race for Speaker
of the House actually happened on the floor, and I
think that's a good thing for transparency.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Yeah, I think so too.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
A lot of people might be confused about that. Usually
these are secret votes they have somewhere. I think they
usually do it at a twin peaks, don't they.

Speaker 6 (10:28):
Yeah, something like that. Yeah, it's usually all kind of
sewn up and then there's just you know, one candidate
and they get all the votes at the end of
the day. Republican and Democrat. This one's a little different.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
The line in Texas politics isn't always drawn where people
would assume it would be.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
You would think it would be left verse right. Not
really the case.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
Usually it's right of center, right, far right versus everybody else.
All the moderates and liberals and Democrats seem to work together.
One person who's falling on the far right is new lawmakers.
State Representative Shelley lou who some of our listeners may
recall was a woman that was arrested for the crime
of running a business in the Dallas Fort Worth area

(11:07):
back during the pandemic several years ago. Anyway, now so
much has changed since then. Now she's a lawmaker. She
says she's backing David Cook.

Speaker 7 (11:15):
We came out with the Contract of Texas, some of
us new people and some of the incumbents came out
with the Contract of Texas, which is more about reforming
the Texas House so it's more fair, it runs more smoothly.
People that have bills, they can make sure that they
get heard. We make sure that the speaker doesn't have
too much power, because sometimes times that's been an issue

(11:36):
as well. And so when David Cook came out and
said that he was for reform and he wanted to
transform the House into something that is a working house,
then we all got behind him.

Speaker 3 (11:51):
Now this sounds good, right. I like Shelley.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
My our history with her on this radio show has
been that she's an honest person, very I think she's
going to be a big star in Texas politics now
that she's been elected. But what do you think about that, Brandon?
The what did she call it? The contract with Texas?
I don't hear a lot of discussion of this.

Speaker 6 (12:07):
Yeah, what is that? Her contract with Texas? Something that
was rolled out last year by a number of reform
minded members of the legislature, incoming members like Shelley, and
they're actually sort of underscoring a lot of the fight
that we're seeing right now. David Cook is somebody who
is I think agreed to most, if not all of
the points of the Contract with Texas. These are things

(12:28):
like ending Democrat committee chairmanships, you know, hearing Republican priorities
early on, et cetera. Things that should be pretty common sense.
And these are things that Dustin Burroughs has not agreed to.
In fact, you know, he's actually courting Democrats as we
seek right now, has more support from Democrats than he
does Republicans. In a you know, in a Republican controlled legislature,

(12:49):
right there's eighty eight Republicans sixty two Democrats. So just
consider that. I mean, that's absolutely wild. So I would say,
you know, the Contract with Texas, the reforms that these
members have been pushing out, has absolutely been something that's
been at the basis of this speaker race.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
All right.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Meanwhile, another outspoken voice in this debate over who should
be the House Speaker Jeff Leech. Jeff Leach is basically
the Mitt Romney of Texas politics. He would be a
liberal Democrat if not for the fact that he inconveniently
got elected as a Republican. He's backing Dustin Burrows and
criticizing Ken Paxton, our attorney general, while he doesn't.

Speaker 8 (13:26):
Question is very clear for all of us is who
is best prepared, who is best equipped to faithfully lead
the House over the next one hundred and forty days
in the eighty ninth Legislative session. And Speaker Burroughs, there's
no question to me that that Chairman Burroughs is going
to win and do a great job. Speaker.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
People who have supported Cook they point to a couple
of things. One, they say, he doesn't support democrats serving
as committee chairs.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
And they also.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Let's pause it right here, we already know what he's
going to say. How is it with what happened, you know,
a little over a year ago, the impeachment of Ken
pack and failed, and a lot of people open their
eyes Brandon to the fact that people like Jeff Lee
really don't have a conservative agenda.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
They're working with Democrats.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
Their only goal is to achieve more power, and that's
why they give these chairs to Democrats. I mean, most
people must know that at this point, why is this
still acceptable?

Speaker 6 (14:19):
Well, I think that a lot of these members are
going to find out that it's no longer acceptable. I mean,
this was a big election cycle where a lot of
incumbents were voted out, were replaced with conservatives, said they'd
had enough. But then you get some people like Jeff
Leach and some others that survived, and they're, you know,
just kind of trying to repeat the same playbook that

(14:42):
they've played from before. I think that if they're successful
and we do end up having the essentially a Democrat
power sharing situation again, I think I don't think it's
going to play out like it has in years past.
I think that you're going to see a lot of pushback,
not only from the Senate, but ultimately from voters who's
said they've they've had enough of this.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
Here in the Houston area. It's my understanding, the only
Republican holdout right now is still liberal Republican Lacey Hall.
Lacy Hall still apparently backing Dustin Burrows. Last we heard
any change there.

Speaker 6 (15:17):
Yes, you know the uh you know Lacey Hult Lily
the only Republican in Harris County right now that's supporting
Dustin Burroughs. He had some precinct chairs in her district essentially,
you know, formally urging her passing a resolution to do that.
You know, I haven't heard that she's changed her mind.
I guess we'll find out whenever they vote today. But

(15:40):
I would be surprised if she if she if she did.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Yeah, Okay, so I guess we can expect more of
the same today. Who do you think will be the
first to start dropping off? It seems, if I had
to predict, I'm expecting David Cook is ultimately going to win.

Speaker 5 (15:53):
Right.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
That seems to be the direction that things are moving in.
They're moving away from Dustin Burroughs. You guys reported he's
hemorrhaging support. You reported that back in December after a
number of people who claim to previously be supporting him
drop to their support for him. You know, anybody you're
expecting to shift their support from Cook to Burrows.

Speaker 6 (16:11):
Today, I don't know. I mean, we saw Caroline Fairley,
a now fresher and from Amarillo, who was on David
Cook's team, switching to Burrows. I think she might be
the outlier you've seen. She's the only member I've seen
so far that's that's done that way. We've actually seen
his members switching from Burrows over to Cook. So I
think of the votes are floating right now as we're talking.

(16:32):
Right now. I know this will play later, but they're
going to gabble in at about an hour, and you know,
they'll have the vote here in probably a few hours.
And you know, a lot of this is still very fluid,
and I think a lot of members aren't aren't going
to really know how this shakes out until the vote
actually takes place.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Is there any truth to the rumor that State Representative
Dustin Burrows is actually the anonymous person who claims to
have been sexually assaulted by Pete Hagsath.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
What's the word on that, Brandon.

Speaker 6 (17:02):
You know, I hadn't heard that. I can't so I
can't speak to that. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
Fair fair point. I thank you for not taking the bit.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Brandon Walton's an honest journalist down at the state capitol
right now reporting on what is happening in the race
to see who the House.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
Speaker is going to be.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Follow him on Twitter get all the latest information, and
check out his work at texascorecard dot com.

Speaker 5 (17:22):
Show radio shows are so hot you'll literally burn your eyes.

Speaker 9 (17:27):
Fortunately, this is it one of those shows.

Speaker 6 (17:30):
I feel like never listening to you all again.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
But shoot of Happiness radio, Mike Son, everybody watch your
pottyme out there.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
Who's in studio? What it's Comedian Jesse Payton inside the
building waitings, brother.

Speaker 9 (17:50):
What's up dude? Happy to be back. This is like
a regular spot for me.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
Now, Yeah, you have become a regular here at KPRC Radio.
We started doing comedy shows with you a few years ago,
and during that time we've raised I don't know six
figures for wheelchairs over the years, and today you're here
because we are learning about this. I was surprised to
learn people are very offended by Pete Hegsath, the Fox

(18:13):
and Friends Weekend morning show host, tattoos. So I invited
in the most tattooed guy I know, and that's this guy,
Jesse Peyton. Jesse Payton has a lot of tattoos on him.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
I do. Pete hag Seth got his tattoos in the military.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
You also got tattoos while you were in a government institution,
Is that correct?

Speaker 9 (18:31):
I was serving the state of Texas, not the country.
So yeah, I've picked acres of cotton in my lifetime
for free, is that right?

Speaker 3 (18:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (18:40):
And as much as I've been on the show, I
feel like if I had a Social Security number still
I should be on Babrol What about Yeah?

Speaker 3 (18:47):
Are you an illegal immigrant? Jesse? It did not even
occur to me.

Speaker 9 (18:49):
I am I made the long swim from Germany, so
I'm a white back, all right.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
So Pete Haigseth has these tattoos. Have you looked at them?
There's supposed to be I guess we should have prepared
for this ahead of time. Let me put him up
on the screen here so everyone can look at it.
If you're just tuning in. There's a Senate hearing happening
right now. Tommy Tuberville. That's a fun doesn't Tommy.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
That sounds like a Billy Madison character. No, No, he was.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
I think he was a football coach and then he
became a senator if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, anyway, I
got Pete hag Sets tattoos here up on the screen.
Let me show everybody what they look like. These are
Pete hag Sets tattoos. He's got two tattoos that are
real controversial. One of them is this cross. The cross
is called the Jerusalem Cross, and Elizabeth Warren told everybody
that was a white supremacist thing. And then the other

(19:37):
day during the Jimmy Carter funeral, let me see if
I can get that on the screen here. Jimmy Carter funeral,
Jerusalem cross You don't have to spell things right, it'll
fix it for you. People notice that on the floor
of the funeral they had those crosses all over the place.
I don't have a good photo of it here, but
you'll just have to take my word for it. This

(19:58):
symbol right here, it looks like that is all over
the floor of Jimmy Carter's funeral, basically right around where
the cast gets hat. So right away it's like, all right,
you have to dismiss that tattoo. That's just a Christian thing.
But the other thing that people are mad about is
this thing that says deuce vault, and deuce vault has
something to do with the Crusades when they were fighting

(20:19):
Muslims back in the day. Now, Pete Hagsat's credit here.
We voted and sent him overseas to fight Muslims a
little different than the Crusades.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
But does that make him a racist? I don't.

Speaker 9 (20:30):
I don't know how you could be racist with Jerusalem.
That just seems white supremacist, doesn't seem very it doesn't
seem very in line with that. And I don't know
what deuce vault is. I've seen a lot of tattoos.
I spend a lot of time in prison. I've seen
most racist tattoos, if not all of them.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
Okay, and I've never seen that. And that's a true story. Okay.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
So you've seen anti black tattoos. Will be like a swastika. Yeah,
what it's an anti white tattoo?

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Look like?

Speaker 9 (20:54):
Uh, it's the of the Pride flag. Anti white is everything,
now right, it's anything. Any Trump tattoo is now, No,
that's pro it's anti pro.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yeah, I guess so, yes, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
But they've got neo Nazis in prison, and you got
you got tattoos when you were in prison.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
But you never chose to become a neo Nazi. No,
I wasn't.

Speaker 9 (21:18):
It wasn't my thing. It wasn't the Nazi I disagreed with.
It was the neo part. No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
I was like, I don't know who prefixes are. Can
I'm not signing your constitution. What's an acronym? Right?

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Okay, So you didn't become a Nazi in prison. Why
didn't you join the white supremacist gang when you.

Speaker 9 (21:34):
Were in Well, the true story, I could make a
funny story or the true story. The true story is
because I don't subscribe to all of their their whole doctrine.
And number two was another real thing was that I
didn't want to be responsible.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
For somebody else's actions, right. I didn't want some idiot white.

Speaker 9 (21:49):
Dude to jump on the day room table scream out
the N word, and now we're in a race riot
and I got to fight because Billy Bob can't keep
his mouth shut.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
Yeah, so that's a real thing. That's why I didn't
do it. Being racist seems like it would be.

Speaker 9 (21:59):
Exhausted, would just be I hate seems exhausting to me.
Like in general, like you know what I'm really good at.
I idle at indifference, Like I couldn't be in the
KKK because I joined the IDGAF the I don't give
a f at all, Like if that was a gang,
like sign me up, Like if there was a I
don't care, Oh, Ken, I'll be your spokesperson.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
I have the same problem when I look at racists,
I'm almost jealous of them because I don't get that
passionate about anything. You know what I mean, how do
you find the energy to care this much about every demographic?

Speaker 3 (22:32):
You know?

Speaker 9 (22:32):
What's sad is I'm single, and I think I'm going
to die alone because I've never loved anything as much
as they hate, and that just it does.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
It seems like an all day affair. Have you NonStop?

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Have you seen the conspiracy theory about the California wildfires
that all these mansions were connected with a cabal of tunnels,
that they were and they were all going down into
the tunnels and raping kids, and that they had to
burn down the mansions in an effort to destroy all
the evidence of their pedophile network. And I thought that
would make a great movie. I'm sure that's not what's happening. No,

(23:03):
I don't think so either. It would be like the
woke version of Mississippi burning.

Speaker 9 (23:08):
We're just gonna do California burning. And it's it's insane
to me. The conspiracy theories, like they want to control
the hurricanes, the viral bacterial with covid, and now they're
going to control fire. I've seen castaway, Like starting fire
is not easy.

Speaker 3 (23:27):
And then yeah, it's it's my numbing.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
I believe that they're rich, wealthy, billionaire pedophiles out there
using their influence to have sex with kids.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
I believe.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
I just don't think that every world event somehow has
something to do with the pedophile network idea.

Speaker 9 (23:42):
Yeah, like yeah, Like the tsunamis are because the Japanese
have gotten out of control. For the Sri Lankan pedophilia
ring is out of control, so we did a tectonic
shift to do an earthquake in a tsunami to wipe
that out because the weather Mother Nature was just over it.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
Feminist apparently I had no idea.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Yeah, all right, So you got tattoos in prison. I did,
and they're not neo Nazi tattoos like you just explained
that was too much work, did jit Were you ever
worried about hepatitis Jesse?

Speaker 3 (24:12):
Oh no, I can't.

Speaker 9 (24:13):
I drink water out of hose and I've never used
a condom. You think I'm worried about a disease. I've
never owned a face mass during COVID you think I'm
worried about.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
No, I wasn't worried about.

Speaker 9 (24:22):
You know what I was worried about being a seventeen
year old, blonde haired, blue eyed, white boy in prison
who was one hundred and forty pounds five 't eight
from Katie, Texas. Like the first time I saw black dude,
I was like twenty and I just wanted to look
as grown up, tough and unrapeable as it is unrapeable
a word, because that's what I wanted. I wanted to

(24:43):
look like the opposite of Pete heads hegset.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
Well, yeah, they say that Pete Hegseth is a rapist.
Now look we noticed things. I don't know that he's
not or that he is. It's possible, but apparently the
people making allegations against him are anonymous, and you're like,
all right, their anonymous allegation, who is this guy?

Speaker 3 (25:00):
And then you see him.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
He's got TV show good looks like nobody ever there
was no me too allegations against George Clooney or Brad Pitt.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
Why do you think that is?

Speaker 10 (25:08):
Yeh.

Speaker 9 (25:08):
And first of all, anonymous usually means you're ugly, and
you can use social media by that. If somebody has
a Facebook picture of a dog or a sunset, they're
not attractive, because you know what attractive people love is
pictures of themselves. So just by anonymous alone, you're discredited,
because how are you going to try to slander somebody's
entire career by the worst thing you can say about

(25:29):
somebody is that they rape somebody. To me, that's the
that says tantamount to murder. And then you're gonna do
that anonymously with no with no spine or backbone to
stand up for that.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
No, I disagree. I was raped by Mazi Herono.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
Okay, the lawmaker today that was questioning Pete Hagseth. There's
as much evidence that I was raped by her right
as there is that Pete Hegseth raped someone.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Why doesn't anyone believe me?

Speaker 9 (25:52):
Jesse, Well, I believe you can because I was molested
by the Texas Public Department of Safety officer who pulled
me over and gave me a ticket for doing ninety
two and a sixty five smart So I've gone to
counter sue and if you don't drop my ticket, then
you're going to double prison.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
All right, Mazi Herono, I gotta I have to mute
the mics for you to hear this. I should have
given you headphones before we but that's my bad. Earlier,
Petere haig Sets, for those that don't know, he's a
Fox and Friend's host, He's a TV show. He's to me,
I always thought Pete Hegsets seemed like a squeaky clean guy,
but apparently he's very controversial by Washington DC's standards. So
earlier he's been questioned by Mazzi Herono, who I just

(26:32):
seems like a terrible person to run into at a
cocktail party, and she asked him these questions.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
I'm a legal adult.

Speaker 10 (26:39):
Have you ever made unwanted requests for sexual favors or
committed any verbal or physical harassment or assault of a
sexual nature?

Speaker 3 (26:49):
Hold?

Speaker 2 (26:49):
Hold on, Hold on. Jesse's raising his hands. Jesse, what
did you want to say about balls?

Speaker 9 (26:53):
She just asked, have you ever made unwanted sexual requests?
You just asked a grown man if he's ever advanceance
on a woman, who said, no, that doesn't mean you
pursued the.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
You're pursuit. It doesn't mean that you continued with that.
She asked, if you've.

Speaker 9 (27:09):
Ever been turned down? Look at her? Has she ever
had any unwanted requests?

Speaker 3 (27:15):
Yes?

Speaker 9 (27:16):
Everything you've wanted in life that doesn't have calories in it,
You've been denied, lady.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
Like, what are you talking about? Like, how do you
ask somebody?

Speaker 9 (27:24):
Have you ever made an unwanted sexual advance on somebody?

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah? At every bar, I've ever been to in life. Well,
you raise an interesting point.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
I mean, at the end of the night, women don't
have to worry about leaving the bar alone.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
Right.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
If a woman wants to leave a bar at the
end with someone, she's probably gonna have a guy to
leave with. Men, on the other hand, not so much. Men,
even good looking men will strike out sometimes. Right, You're right.
It is a weird question that she asked him. Have
you ever made.

Speaker 3 (27:50):
An unwanted advance on somebody?

Speaker 9 (27:52):
Yes, everybody, unless you're batting a thousand in life on
your advances towards women.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
And what kind of guy is batting a thousand in
life advances towards women?

Speaker 9 (28:01):
Jesseee, No, that's absolutely unequickly not true.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
Wait, hang on, wouldn't you Did you explain this off
air earlier?

Speaker 2 (28:07):
The kind of guy that's batting a thousand on sexu rapists?

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Yes? Have you ever made it? Yeah?

Speaker 9 (28:13):
I've never had a sexual advance on a woman not
come to fruition. How are you batting a thousand on
every seed that you sew bears fruit?

Speaker 3 (28:23):
No, you're a rapist?

Speaker 9 (28:25):
You know who?

Speaker 3 (28:25):
Didn't you know who?

Speaker 9 (28:26):
Never had any unadvanced or unwanted advancement. Damer Dahmer, you
know who never took no Dahmer. Okay, get the hell
out of here. This one is insane.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
Well, he's a good point, all right, hang on, here's
how we answered the question. Let's keep playing this.

Speaker 3 (28:40):
I'm a legal adult.

Speaker 10 (28:41):
Have you ever made unwanted requests for sexual favors or
committed any verbal or physical harassment or assault of a
sexual nature? No, Senator, have you ever faced discipline or
entered into a settlement relating to this kind of conduct?

Speaker 5 (29:00):
Senator, I was falsely accused in October of twenty seventeen.
It was fully investigated, and I was completely cleared.

Speaker 10 (29:09):
I don't think completely cleared is accurate. But the fact
is that your own lawyer said that you entered into
an NDA paid a person who accused you of raping
her some of money to make sure that she did
not file a complaint.

Speaker 3 (29:30):
Okay, let's pause it right there.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
So he's there was an NBA, he paid someone to
say that he didn't rape or whatever. Was like, I
don't know this. I am not convinced, Jesse. Does this
guy seem like a monster to you?

Speaker 9 (29:41):
I mean, I've been around monsters, kN and no it
doesn't seem like that. I just you know, what I
usually go by. It is the baited, loaded questions that
she's asking, you know, and that's it's it's ridiculous. You're
backing him into a corner with no evidence, you know,
and it's somebody screaming out anonymously when you're coming up
for you know, a defense secretary position that now they
want to say that you did this heinous thing, get

(30:01):
the hell out of here.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
It does seem like a stretch to me. What they're
saying here is that is tattoos are racist. It's an
anonymous person accusing him of sexual assault. These seem like
silly distractions. You could have an argument here about policies.
What policies does he have that are controversial? One of
them is no women in frontline combat. Now, you and
I talked about this off the air earlier. I agree
that men and women should not be together in frontline combat.

(30:24):
If people are in their early twenties, late teen years,
they're alone in a life or death situation out in
the middle of the desert on the side of a mountain.
They almost died, and now they're alone with nothing to do.
They're gonna have sex with each other. Even if she's
a nine and he's a four, or she's a four
and he's a nine, they're still probably gonna bone absolutely.
And you had made the point earlier that actually.

Speaker 9 (30:46):
That yeah, I think you should like, oh my, like
you know, when your life flashes before your eyes, like
that's what happened. That's She's not the only thing getting
flashed right then, because I'm pulling a penis out. I'm sorry,
Kim Man. I know I shouldn't say that on conservative
talk radio, but I'm doing it, and I don't. I
disagree with him because I definitely want every single feminist

(31:09):
I know on the front line. I want them out
there being human shields for real men.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
Okay, all right, I get your point. Then, all right,
let's take a look at this. The other person that
asked him questions today was Kristin Giliber Kristen Jilibrand I'm sorry,
Kirsten jil Some people may have forgotten about this woman.
She was a pretty blonde lady from New York who
ran for president a few years back. Some people may
remember this video. It's a weird way to promote your

(31:41):
just she realized she's on camera and she suddenly screamed
gay rights.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
Like, do you have liberal turetts? What the hell is
going on here?

Speaker 9 (31:48):
I don't know why you have to say loud and proud.
Everything gays and trans do is loud. We get it,
We hear you. Nobody was ever like, Hey, I didn't
hear what that gay rights person said.

Speaker 3 (32:00):
No, we heard you screaming, get out of traffic. Okay,
all right, so point taken there.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
Now, Krista Jilibrand is back today, and hang on, let
me get this video up on the screen. Here. A
couple of things I did not realize about her. She's
changed a little bit since she ran for president. Let
me put her up on the screen here. This was
five years ago. Here she was five years ago, twenty.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
Nineteen directive, older woman right there, all right? Here she
is today.

Speaker 9 (32:25):
She looks like the older lady. And something about Mary.
What the hell happened? That's what Abiden economy does to you,
right No, just what Abiden economy does to you right there?

Speaker 3 (32:35):
All right.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
So Kursta Jilibrand was asking questions today. Let me see
if I could find the sound bite.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
Here we go.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
So it's so easy to find anything on Twitter these days.
Here is kursta jilibrand talking asking she really just lecturing him.
She didn't even ask him a question.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
In the DoD Everything you've said in these public statements
is politics. I don't want women. I don't want moms.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
What's wrong with a mom?

Speaker 4 (32:56):
By the way, once you have babies, you therefore are
no longer able to be lethal. I mean, you're basically
saying women after they have children can't ever serve in
the military in a combat role. It's a silly thing
to say. It's a silly thing to say beneath the
position that you are aspiring to to denigrate LGBTQ service
members is a mistake. If you are a sharpshooter, you're

(33:17):
as lethal regardless of what your gender identity is, regardless
of who you love. So please know this to be
a true statement.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Hang on, we got a positive right there, Jesse. If
you're a gay sharp shooter, go ahead, gay sharp shooter.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
Yes, something, I have something.

Speaker 9 (33:32):
I don't know how you're the guy trying to keep
women and mothers out of combat because you hate women.

Speaker 3 (33:38):
You know who I want to you know who I
want to.

Speaker 9 (33:41):
Usher into combat is every dude who's ever slighted me
ever in life? How are you to go be a
human shield on the front line? But he's like, I
want to keep women and mothers out of combat. There
was a reason when the Titanic went down, women and
children were saved first, because you preserve them, because you

(34:01):
esteem and edify them.

Speaker 5 (34:02):
Right.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
No, no, no, that's the old America, Jesse.

Speaker 2 (34:04):
Today we make them drown in the frozen water because
it's empowering.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
Quick break more with comedian and Jesse Payton. Right after
this vanity.

Speaker 9 (34:13):
Ken Webster's Pursuit of Happiness, a radio show that's just
as good when you're driving around Soba as it is
when you're drunk at home.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
I don't know why, but the only music we have
that's royalty free, like trademark free for social media purposes
is electronic music.

Speaker 3 (34:37):
Do you okay, Jesse?

Speaker 2 (34:38):
I put some some ecstasy in your monster rehabed is
I did?

Speaker 3 (34:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (34:42):
I I'm so horny right now, can't. I was wondering
what that was.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
I thought it was you.

Speaker 9 (34:47):
I thought it was your pheromones and a fragrance that
you must have been in. Let me take another sip.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
I'm not a monster guy. Why are there so many
different colors?

Speaker 3 (34:54):
Is it all? What is this one? Tea and lemonade? Yeah?
I like this one. It's good.

Speaker 9 (34:58):
It's the DEI of energy drinks. So there's just you
have to do every color in every brand.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
Is that it?

Speaker 2 (35:03):
My buddy I lift weights, as you know, it's starting
Strength on Shepherd in Houston, and one of the guys
I lift weights with Bob says, he's like, I'm having
white today, and then he's got a white can, and
then tomorrow it's blue. He's like, what, Oh, it's blue,
I'm having blue? What the hell does white taste like? Uh?

Speaker 3 (35:17):
Privilege? It's delicious.

Speaker 9 (35:20):
It tastes like uh, you know, security, success, and yeah,
the it's it's great.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
I don't I don't like the why I like the tea.
This is the only one I really drink. So okay, Yeah,
I'm a tea and lemonade guy.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
All right, Well, speaking of white people, I guess it's
as good a time as any to do the Walmart news.
I'm look, I'm white trash. I'm not ashamed of it either.
I am white trash. I think that's why I like
the TV show Landman so much. I love that show
me too.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
A friend of mine in the in the Works in
Oil and Gas said landman's not a realistic show. I
work in oil. I was like, well, what's not realistic?
He's like all the stuff at the cartiles true. I
was like, all right, but in oil and Gas, is
it a bunch of white trash people making more money
than they know what to do with doing a job
that'll kill him?

Speaker 3 (35:58):
And he goes, yeah, that's pretty much what it is. Yeah.
It's like, well that's the show.

Speaker 9 (36:01):
Yeah, and that's like the cartel Narcos is the exact
same premise. It's a bunch of people, a bunch of idiots,
making more money than they deserve, doing a job that's
very dangerous.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
That's true. Yeah, And that's kind of what radio is too. No,
it's not all right.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
So Walmart must have spent millions of dollars on this.
They just did their first rebrand since two thousand and eight.
Walmart has decided to change this logo over here to
this logo Jesse Peyton pictured on the left and the
right here. I don't know how much they spent on this,
but I know it was at least seven figures. There's
no way that Walmart didn't spend millions of dollars on this. Well,

(36:35):
it's first time since two thousand and eight they changed
the logo. What do you even is the point of
this just to prove that we still need a marketing department?

Speaker 9 (36:41):
It sends I mean, I wouldn't have known the difference
if they weren't side by side.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Even side by side, you can barely tell.

Speaker 9 (36:47):
It's almost like it was a gender reassignment surgery, like
we can still tell.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Wait, okay, so hold on, you're saying that this is
It's kind of like when a guy puts a miniskirt
on and claims to be a woman that wal I'll.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
Still see your Adam's apple.

Speaker 9 (37:02):
Brian, You're not fooling anybody because you have lipstick in
your mustache.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
Dude, Like, we get it. This is insanity.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
Well, going back to what we were just talking about,
one of the problems that Pete Hegseth is facing today
he doesn't think gays and trans should serve in the military,
and apparently that makes him homophobic or transphobic. But like
you just explained, if you hated gays and trans, wouldn't you.

Speaker 3 (37:24):
Want them to serve in the military. That would I would?
I mean yeah, because I'm pro trans in the military.
For really, Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 9 (37:31):
Let's go stand on a land mine and whatever genitalia
falls out of your pants.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
We did your gender reveal in Iraq. Good luck to you, Brian. Yeah,
I've never been to a gender reveal party, have you?

Speaker 9 (37:42):
No?

Speaker 3 (37:43):
No, I don't. Yeah, no, no insanity.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
I think when people get pregnant they stop being friends
with people like me.

Speaker 9 (37:49):
Yeah, me too, because I'm fat shaped. No, I'm getting,
I'm getting. I'm getting.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
That's a joke. Do not delete me more again. Good,
I'm sorry you can't. I forget where I was.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
No, we love pregnant ladies. This is weird though, that
that's it? Isn't it strange that that's a kink?

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Now it is?

Speaker 9 (38:02):
It's my king pregnant women. If you're kill in percent
kend I'm forty four with no kids. You know what
I know about pregnant women. You can't get them pregnant.
Imagine a girl walking around with a scarlet letter that
says you can't get me pregnant. You know what that's
called a playground? Can are you glory?

Speaker 3 (38:22):
Yes? In my heart, you're beautiful that's it.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Yeah, So it doesn't bother you that she's a little heavier.
That doesn't bother you.

Speaker 3 (38:29):
No, that's it.

Speaker 9 (38:30):
That's yeah, that's absolutely love the I love the oven
and the bun o.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
It's it as long as it's not my my oven
or bun. Okay.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
So there's a news story today. Police say a legally
blind guy shot his best friend while he was attempting
to evict a squatter. And this is a hang on,
let me get this story up on the screen here.
I want people to look at this. This is on
not the Bee. It's one of my favorite websites. So
get a load of this guy. This gentleman is in trouble,

(38:57):
as you can see from his outfit.

Speaker 3 (38:59):
You've had to this. Did you ever wear the yellow Jesse?
What was that's a different state? What color did you
have to wear in prison in Texas?

Speaker 9 (39:06):
It's orange in Harris County and it's white in the
state of Texas when you go to state prison.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
Really, yeah, I feel like i'd look good an orange
because the Astros.

Speaker 3 (39:14):
Yeah it is. Yeah, so I rocked it too.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Do people in Houston make a point out of that,
They're like, well, it's the baseball colors.

Speaker 9 (39:21):
No, when you get away from Houston, you become more
Houston base But when you're in the county, Joe, everybody's
from Houston, so there's no designation for that, really, no distinction.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
All right, well that makes sense. Okay, Well this this
new story took place in Washington. Apparently this guy's name
is Dan Phelps. Let me get Dan Phelps on the
screen here so everybody can look at him. This is
Dan and apparently Dan's hall deal is where you know
he's in trouble obviously, as you guys could probably imagine,
because Dan has decided to shoot somebody and the person

(39:52):
he shot was his best friend. He was attempting to
evict another guy from his basement for two months, so
he decided to go down after him with his friend
Joey and Selmo. That's Italian guys and a gun. And
so here's the kicker.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Dan D.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
Phelps is legally blind and his friend, uh An Selmo
has only got one leg. Now I know what you're thinking,
Uh you know, how convoluted? Does? It gets pretty convoluted?
Apparently if you combine all three of them, they're one person.

Speaker 9 (40:24):
It reminds me of that movie with Gene Wilder and
Richard Pryor No Evil.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
What was it called? Yeah, right, ce No Evil? Trading Places? Oh,
trading Places? Yeah, one was blind and the other one
was deaf.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
What was that movie, No No Trading Places with Dan
Ankroy Acroy.

Speaker 9 (40:37):
That's right, I'm sorry all those Yeah, there was another
great Richard Pryor.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Comedy, No Evil. No, you got to write the first you.
No Evil is actually a two thousand and six slash
slasher film. Are we running out of names from?

Speaker 9 (40:49):
What is the movie where Gene Wilder's blind and Richard
Simmons see no Evil here?

Speaker 2 (40:53):
No Evil is Gene Wilder and uh and and Richard Pryor?

Speaker 9 (40:58):
Yeah, okay, that was it where one's blind and one's yeah,
deaf or something like that.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
And Kevin Spacey is in that movie. Oh wow, that's crazy?
Does that know?

Speaker 6 (41:05):
That?

Speaker 3 (41:05):
Does that piss you off?

Speaker 2 (41:06):
That Kevin Spacey ruined all the movies he was in,
like House of Cards.

Speaker 9 (41:10):
It didn't ruin it for me, It didn't ruin He's
still Kevin Spacey pre allegations, you know. I don't know
if he was convicted or not, but was my favorite actor.
But I'm the type of person. Kid, I separate the
art from the artist. Yeah, just because Trump was unfaithful
or paid a prostitute, whatever, I still think he's the
perfect person for a candidate.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
I don't I separate the two. I think some people
like him more because of that.

Speaker 9 (41:32):
Right in, just because Kevin Spacey, you know, was a
sexual DV it doesn't mean I'm not gonna watch La Confidential.
It was a great movie. And just because R. Kelly
makes crappy music doesn't mean I'm gonna stop pee it on.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
Girls. You've gotta separate the art from the artist. Are
thank you, Janto, Thank you. Jesse Payton.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
Hey, I don't know we're about to run out of
time here. I'm Kenny Webster. This is my good buddy
Jesse Payton.

Speaker 9 (41:54):
You have shows coming up. We haven't even promoted your show.
I have shows Mobile Alabama. Do you have any listeners
in Mobile, Alabama? Because I'm coming there this Friday, Guys,
I'm gonna be a Mobile Alabama doing my show called
Couples Therapy. Clearly, you guys, if you've heard this segment,
I'm a relationship expert, okay, borderline professional. So I'm really
bad at couples I'm really bad at therapy, but I
am hilarious.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
We've got a phenomenal show.

Speaker 9 (42:15):
It's an interactive relationship theme comedy show called Couples Therapy.
It's gonna be in Mobile, Alabama, this Friday, the seventeen.
To get tickets at jessesfunny dot com. And the very
next day I'm gonna be in Bay Saint Louis, Mississippi.
Exciting news can We just sold out the first show.
We had to add a second show because the show
is so hot and everybody who's been is coming back.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
It's gonna be a great show.

Speaker 9 (42:35):
Bay Saint Louis on Saturday, Mobile Alabama on Friday, January
seventeenth and eighteen.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
And what are the venues? Did you have that?

Speaker 2 (42:41):
Uh?

Speaker 9 (42:41):
Alchemy Tavern for one and then the other one is
gonna be.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
Base Lewis. Oh no, that's all right.

Speaker 9 (42:53):
Yeah, we're buying the tickets at jesse is funny dot com.
They're all there, Bay Saint Louis. It's six miles wide.
Wherever it is, it's close.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
Let's go.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
And if I'm not mistaken, didn't you book our friend
Mary Ryan Brown?

Speaker 9 (43:04):
She's actually going to be on the show. I'm excited
to meet her. It's gonna be our first time on
the show. But I've seen her and she is hilarious.
She's going to be a perfect fit for this show,
and she's super excited about this.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
Mary Ryan Brown is hilarious. She is an Instagram sensasion,
she's a friend of the show. Hang on, let's play
a little bit of her stuff before.

Speaker 3 (43:20):
We get out of here. If she's great, go ahead.

Speaker 8 (43:22):
Leslie Low's bomb, tips, Pillet and a blessed carnival to you.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
We don't go to the parades anymore.

Speaker 7 (43:30):
It's too many people.

Speaker 4 (43:31):
And you know what they say, people are but the
corn and the great crawfish bowl of the universe.

Speaker 3 (43:36):
I skip the parades.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
If those bads aren't a Marla Aaron baby Lock, I
don't want them.

Speaker 3 (43:41):
Are you going to put a sweater on that baby?
We do Marty Girl a little differently.

Speaker 9 (43:47):
In our home in little town.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
We have a Marty This is the bits called Mississippi.
Mom goes to Marty Grass. She does all these bits
about southern women. Why is the baby cake thing so terrifying?

Speaker 3 (43:56):
Jesse? Have you seen that before? Is it? It's frightening?

Speaker 9 (44:00):
All dolls scare me actually, real kids scare me more
than any of them, so I'm just I don't like children.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Okay, But also the animatronic baby at Marty Gras is
kind of terrifying too.

Speaker 3 (44:09):
I'm Kenny Webster. If you guys don't mind. For those
of you enjoying.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
Our radio show on old school terrestrial radio, the best
way to listen to it, in my opinion, subscribe to
our podcast, follow us on social media, and to the
rest of you, since you've obviously already done that, maybe
share this video or link or podcast, whatever it may be.
I love you all. Have a great afternoon. We'll be
back bright and early tomorrow morning for more of what
you bought a radio for.

Speaker 6 (44:36):
You are listening to the Pursuit of Happiness Radio, Tell
the government to kiss your ass when you listen to
this show.