June 25, 2025 • 41 mins
This podcast edition of Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness features comedian Jesse Peyton. ( @KennethRWebster )
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Gigan of government sucks soon of happiness. Radio is de
Ux Liberty and freedom will make you smile of a
suit of happing us on your radio toil justice. Cheeseburger
is a libit arise at the food.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
A new report claims glass bottles may contain more microplastics
than plastic containers, but both are far far behind the
average real housewife. I'm just guessing. Hi, everybody, I'm Kenny Webster.
Thanks for turning around the radio. It's great to be
here with you this afternoon. Who's here today? Oh yeah,
stand up comedian Jesse Payton is going to be stopping
(00:44):
by in a little bit. We have a comedy show
this weekend at the Panther Room. And where's that at.
It's it's in Fort Worth. If you want to come
hang with us. Tickets are available right now. Four shows
you're gonna want.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
To go to that. It's gonna be a lot of fun.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
If you're in the fort Worth area, maybe you're in
the sh Report area or the Tyler, Texas area, it
would be worth it to drive out to that. If
you want tickets, you can go to jesseisfunny dot com.
The event is going to be at the Big Laughs
comedy club. Big Laugh Comedy Club. I didn't mean to
pluralize it. We're in the panther room now. But there's
also a link at the top of my ex account.
I'm Kenny Webster. As a lot of you probably know anyway,
(01:20):
Donald Trump had a lot of big w's over the
past twenty four hours.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Let's start off with this one. That little piece.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Deal the ceasefire, if you will, between our friends in NATO,
excuse me, and Iran in Israel.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Seems to me holding up so far.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Trump touchdown and speaking of NATO, he met with him
yesterday in the Netherlands and he got our allies to
finally commit to paying their fair share. You ever go
out to dinner with a group of your friends and
you didn't order any margaritas, and the bill comes and
everybody throws in a twenty and you look at the
(01:57):
bill and your share of it is like seventy eighty dollars,
but all you got was a cheeseburger or a chicken
sandwich or something. You think to yourself, man, this doesn't
make any sense. You look around the table. There's your
French buddy. He's got four cocktails in front of him
in a steak and you look over at your friend
from Italy and what did he order? Two glasses of
wine and caviat And then you look at your friend
(02:18):
from Canada and this guy he ordered twenty four oysters.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So that's twice the amount of average.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
That's a lot, right, And all you got was a
weak little chicken sandwich and you had to pay more
than half the bill. Well, that's a lot like what
America's role is in NATO. NATO is supposed to be
a military alliance, but we pay a lot more than
they do. Doesn't really seem fair, does it. Donald Trump
spoke out against this four years ago, so it was
(02:47):
longer than that. During his first term, Donald Trump made
a point, remember when he said he wanted to get
us out of NATO. He said, you know, we're the
only ones paying our fair share? What about all these
other countries. Yesterday, the Secretary General in charge of NATO
made a big announcement.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
For too long one ally, the United States carriage too
much of the burden of that commitment, and that changes today,
President Trump. Dear Donald, you made this change possible. Your
leadership on this has already produced one trillion dollars an
extra spending from Europe and ALLI since twenty sixteen, and
(03:25):
the decision to day we'll produce trillions more for our
common defense to make us longer and fairer by equalizing
spending between America and America's allies.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
All right, so fair share? Right now, our allies are
going to go from two to five percent. Some of
them are paying less than two percent. That doesn't seem fair.
As Donald Trump sitting there at the table with all
these other people from Europe rolling their eyes at him,
it's a quicker reminder. I didn't order any beers. I
didn't get oysters. Y'all are having caviar. Why am I
(03:57):
paying more than you? It's about time Trump believes the
US should pay less into the Alliance based on where
the money goes. That money is not being used to
protect the United States. The United States protects the United States.
That money is being used to protect Europe. Trump is
going to meet with a bunch of leaders today. He's
meeting them with them right now, including President Zelensky. And
(04:20):
I don't know if you've heard, but Zelensky wants a
lot of our money too. Free loading pos damn use Zolensky.
Even in the aftermath of the devastating US military strikes
on Iran's nuclear program over the weekend, the Iranian foreign minister,
who I'm sure you already know, Abbas Aragaki, is vowing
the terrorist regime will continue its pursuit of a nuclear program,
(04:42):
which requires uranium enrichment. Now, at first they said that
we didn't bomb any of it. They said, nay, you
hardly hurt us at all. It only set us back
a couple months. And by saying that, it's almost like
they were provoking us, trying to get us to keep
bombing them. So now they claim no, no, no, you
destroyed it all. Don't don't bomb us anymore. A spokesman
for the Iranian Atomic Energy Industry Agency excuse me as
(05:05):
speaking publicly, and he had this to say, I think
we have a tape of that, and hang on, can
you roll the tape?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Please?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Thank you, roll the tape. It's not working. Okay, it
doesn't matter. Live radio, folks, the fun of live radio.
The SoundBite will not work. Isn't that fun? Anyway? You
missed out on listening to an Iranian guy talk out loud.
It's kind of like listening to a bear fart in
the woods. Nobody needs to hear that anyway. Basically, what
they said was stop bombing us. You destroyed everything. It's fine,
(05:33):
it's all good. Trump responded to him at the NATO summit,
saying the regime won't be building bombs anytime soon and
that their nuclear sites have been obliterated. Now here's the problem.
Somebody that works at the Pentagon is leaking leakers. This
is why no one said a thing when Midnight Hammer
(05:53):
was being planned and executed. We can't trust members of
our own federal government. Trump's air strikes for a success.
A ceasefire is in place. World War III barely lasted
a few hours, although I'm still a little skeptical about that.
But now the fake press gets involved. They're stunned that
we have a present who stacks wins for the country.
(06:13):
They're trying to downplay this elite display of American military
and diplomatic power by suggesting that Iran's nuclear program was
only set back a few months. They claimed the infrastructure
for making atomic weapons remains intact. That's what they claim.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
This is CNN breaking news.
Speaker 5 (06:31):
We have major breaking news into CNN. Three sources tell
CNN that according to an early US intelligence assessment, the
US military strikes on three of Iran's nuclear facilities last
weekend did not destroy the core components of the country's
nuclear program and likely only setted back a few months.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Now, imagine watching this and cheering for Iran. That's what
CNN viewers are doing. They love this, they think it's great.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
Round about the battle damage that resulted from those US
military strikes on these three Iranian nuclear facilities over the weekend.
And as you said, it was produced by the Defense
Intelligence Agency, which is the Pentagon's intelligence arm And it
is worth noting that it is a very early assessment.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Okay, So it's a story from Natasha Bertrand, and it's
based on three stories. If you don't remember who she is,
I want to refresh your memory. She was the woman
at CNN who published a story detailing how the Hunter
Biden laptop wasn't real. It was during the twenty twenty
election cycle. Do you remember it's the same woman. She
still does a job. Yeah, imagine that still does the
(07:34):
same thing at CNN. The fact that she's telling us
this suggests to me that it's probably not true. But
I do love Donald Trump's response.
Speaker 7 (07:43):
This was an unbelievable hit by genius pilots and genius
people in the military, and then not being given credit
for it, because we have scum that's in this group,
and not all if you are, you have some great reporters,
but you have scum. CNN is scum, msdnngus scum.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
The New York Times is scum. We have bad people.
Speaker 8 (08:04):
This Kenny Webster the best looking dude on radio, and
if you've seen the competition, that's not saying a whole
hell of a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Apparently there's an old airfield in the Florida Everglades. It's
not being used anymore. At least it wasn't being used anymore.
So now they're going to turn it into an immigration
detention center. Yeah, they even gave it a funny nickname.
They're calling an alligator Alcatraz. Wait a second, I thought
Alligator Alcatraz was already the official nickname of the entire state. Anyway,
(08:37):
I guess I was wrong. Hi, everybody, welcome back, Kenny Webster.
You're comedian Jesse Payton joining me in studio shortly. But
before we get to that, let's talk about the criminal
investigation being launched over the Iranian nuclear leak The damage Right.
Speaking to reporters at the NATO summit, Secretary of Defense
Pete i like Beer Hegseth revealed a criminal leak investigation
(08:59):
is underway after top secret intelligence was illegally shared to
undermine US military strikes on Iran's nuclear program, which begs
the question was the leak real or was it fake?
Pete Hegseth says, when you actually look at the report,
by the way, it was a top secret report, it
was preliminary, it was low confidence. You make assessments based
(09:23):
on what you know. We're doing a leak investigation with
the FBI right now because this information is for internal
purposes battle damage assessments. CNN and others are trying to
spin it to make the president look bad when it
was actually an overwhelming success.
Speaker 9 (09:41):
You have something to say about that whom's president When
you talk to the people who built the bombs, understand
what those bombs can do and deliver those bombs. They
landed precisely where they were supposed to, so flawless. Mission
floats right down where we knew they needed to enter.
And given the thirty thousand pounds of explosives and capability
of those munitions.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
It was devastation.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Okay, So the investigation comes after information was leaked to
CNN claiming the US strikes on the Iranian nuclear sites
over the weekend set the program back only a few weeks.
Marco Rubio made an interesting point. He said, I think
it may I actually have the audio of it.
Speaker 7 (10:20):
Here.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Do I have the audio? I don't have the audio.
Marco Rubio said, this is what a leaker is telling you.
This is what a leaker is telling you, what the
intelligence says. That's the game these people play. They read
it and they go out and characterize it the way
they want to characterize it, the way they want it characterized,
and their leakers, this is the game they play. Mark
Rubio made the point that we dropped twelve of the
(10:42):
strongest bombs on the planet right down the hole in
two places. Everything underneath that mountain is in bad shape now.
Marco Rubio says, he refers you to the statements of
the IAEA. There was Iran the way it looked the
day before the attack, and the way it looks right now.
They are way behind where they were seven days ago.
(11:06):
These leakers are professional backstabbers. That's what they are. They
go out and they read this stuff and they tell
you what it says against the law, but they characterize
it for you in the way that is absolutely false.
There's no way Iran comes to the table if somehow
nothing happened. This was complete and total obliteration. They're in
bad shape. They are way behind today compared to seven
(11:29):
days ago because of what the President did. So NATO
Secretary General Mark Rute began the meeting by praising Trump's
decision to take out the Iranian nuclear sites. We played
a little bit of that audio in the last segment.
I'm kind of amazed that whoever leaked that information thought
there wouldn't be any consequences, And what did they plan
(11:51):
to get out of it, simply to make Trump look
bad in a fifteen minute news cycle. It's not going
to work. Certainly doesn't seem like it's working. Most people
that like Trump probably still like them. People that hate
Trump probably still hate them. It didn't change anything. I
think this is going to elect affect the election next year.
It seems unlikely anyway. It's not the only investigation today
(12:14):
on a federal level that's getting a lot of attention
from the media. It's not just the Department of Homeland
Security blasting this woman named Cynthia Gonzalez, the vice mayor
of Cudahee, Los Angeles County City. It's a little town
in Los Angeles County. I'd never heard of it before,
but she hopped on social media recently.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
To tell her followers she.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Wants illegal gang members to come out and violently attack
federal agents that are trying to arrest the undocumented illegal immigrants.
Speaker 10 (12:44):
Not for nothing, but I want to know where all
the trollos are at in Los Angeles, Eighteenth Street, Florentia.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Where's the leadership at?
Speaker 10 (12:52):
Because you guys are all about territory and this is
eighteenth Street and this is Lorente.
Speaker 5 (12:57):
You gotta tag.
Speaker 10 (12:57):
Everything up, claiming hood. And now that your hood's been
invaded by the biggest gang there is, they're.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
In a peep out of you.
Speaker 10 (13:06):
It's everyone else who's not about the gang life that's
out there protesting and speaking us. We're out there life
biding Arthur, protecting our protecting our people, and like where
you at? Minka ya vitovinka ya Vitoo'm like, dude, they're
running a muck all up in.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Your on your shoe. Can you believe this woman is
a doctor? Now, to be clear, she's a doctor of education.
I know. It's amazing, absolutely embarrassing. According to a Fox
News report, this woman posted that on her social media account,
and then the FBI came to her house, and then
(13:46):
she told her social media followers she needs a lawyer.
I mean, yeah, you probably do need a lawyer. Not
a smart woman. She's looking for a lawyer right now.
On uh. I don't understand that she's trying to find
a lawyer on social media, which is a strange thing
to do. I'm surprised at that. I don't quite understand
the strategy here. But anyway, as all that's taken place, yesterday,
(14:07):
they tried to impeach Donald Trump. Texas Democratic Representative Al
green A filed impeachment yesterday. I went horribly, absolutely abysmal.
President Trump got this went nowhere. Green introduced an article
of impeachment against the president over the fact that he
ordered the US military to strike three Iranian nuclear facilities
on Saturday. In the resolution, Green wrote, he alleged abuse
(14:32):
of presidential powers by disregarding the separation of powers, devolving
American democracy into authoritarianism by unconstitutionally usurping Congress's power to
declare war. Now, he didn't even get a hundred votes.
They didn't even break triple digits on this thing. That
means that hundreds of Democrat lawmakers either didn't vote or
they voted with the Republicans not to impeach. You guys,
(14:54):
try to impeach Donald Trump twice already, and all you
did was get him reelected. You sent federal agents to
his house to rifle through his wife's underwear drawer. That
made him more popular. You had him arrested, You had
a mugshot put on the guy. What happened, His popularity
among Latinos and blacks went up. One out of three
black men in Texas voted for Donald Trump. Nothing like
(15:16):
that has happened in decades. Last time Republicans were this
popular with the black community in America, I gotta think
it was the mid twentieth century.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
JFK was still alive.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
It's been a long time, right, here's al Green yesterday.
Speaker 10 (15:35):
Miss a speaker, and still I rise, and I rise
today in the name.
Speaker 11 (15:44):
Of government of the people, by the people, for the people.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Isn't it funny?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Whenever these black male Democrats today the positive stop it.
These guys talk like Martin Luther King Jr. They're cosplaying,
they're LARPing. This isn't real. This is entertainment, and itat
it's great for his constituents. I'm sure they think it's
very entertaining. I wonder sometimes, what is the difference between
Al Green and the Geico Caveman. It's the same guy.
(16:10):
I think the Geico Caveman smarter. He'd probably make a
better lawmaker. Fortunately he's not running for office right now.
I digress. With all that going on right now, it's
interesting to think on one end of the country of
a Texas Democrat trying to impeach the president. On the
other end of the country, you have this lawmaker, excuse me,
the vice mayor of some town in Los Angeles County,
(16:31):
know we'd ever heard of before, calling on gang members
to violently attack federal agents from ICE. And then there's this, right,
they're mad at Trump because of Iran. They're mad at
him because of the ICE agents. ICE just arrested eleven
Iranian nationals in forty eight hours.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Wow, what a weird coincidence.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
No, it's not American Homeland security strikes fast capturing Hesbololink
suspects in Minnesota, part of a sweeping effort to defend
the nation. So you're telling me, right after we launched
missiles at a nuclear site in Iran and some Democrat
city municipal leader on the West Coast cause on gang
(17:09):
members to go out and attack ICE agents, we discover
there are Iranian agents in the country.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
How many?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Almost a dozen of them and not shockingly basically in
Illhan Homer's part of the country. It's pretty obvious there
are two halves of the country right people that support
the United States of America, people who believe in law
and order. You know this isn't like an extreme right
wing position. Stop terrorism, protect the planet, arrest people for
(17:37):
breaking the law. How long can we go on pretending
we have two different countries? How long can we go
on sharing the country with a group of people that
want the nation to fail? They watch CNN all day
long waiting for bad news. Remember a while back, discussions
had over whether or not we could have a healthy
divorce with half the country.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I think we're past that at this point.
Speaker 8 (17:59):
Everything you've heard is a lie, well unless you heard
it from the mouth of Kenny Webster, all facts, even
the bit about it is little Kenny. Oh sorry, bro,
I mean big Kenny. You're listening to Kenny Webster's Pursuit
of happiness.
Speaker 7 (18:14):
They don't know what the did doing.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Do you understand that? Oh? This is interesting.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
China just unveiled a drone the size of a mosquito.
Apparently it's generating as much buzz as this year's NBA Finals.
That was a g rated joke, another direction I could
have gone with that. I'll do it again, Jesse.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Are you ready? I'm gonna do a different version of
that joke? All right? Okay?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
China unveiled a drone the size of a mosquito. Apparently
they modeled it after President Jeshin Ping's penis b I
love it, my buddy, Jesse Payton, live in studio right now,
greeting to you. So we're also live on So besides
being on the radio, we're on social media right now.
We're on X and Rumble. Are you on Rumble? Do
(18:55):
you rumble?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
I don't rumble. I'm I'm on a OnlyFans and porn Hub? Cool?
How's that going? Which of those does better for you?
For seven cents? A month. You can see my Asian drone. Fantastic. Thanks,
that's delightful.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
This weekend, Jesse Payne and I are performing in the
Panther Room at Big Laughs Comedy Club and we're gonna
be there Friday and Saturday night, four shows for those
that want to come hang with us.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
It's a couple's therapy this weekend. You've been doing two
comedy tours simultaneously. Simultaneously, We've been doing the Couple's Therapy
Tour and the Right Side of Comedy. Kinny Webster has
been a part of both of those. You've been an
integral that's a good word. That is a good that
makes you sound smart. It does, and I feel very
intellectually inferior around you, but I love sharing the stage
(19:42):
of the year hilarious. That's right.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
You are a better comedian than I am, but I'm
a better political pundit than you. And together we combined
together to create one great media personnality.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
We are the Yinni Yang completing the whole circle. I'll
be the black side because I've seen you dance, and
nothing about your dance moves, scream, rhythm or diversity. You
have no dei in your dance steps.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Kenny, I have the the rhythm of a Chinese accountant.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
That's what you're the reason the word rhythm has no
vowels in it. You just screwed it all up, Kenny.
I do enjoy, but we have fun. We have a
good time.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
This weekend we're gonna be in Fort Worth and it
is a couple's themed comedy show, so it is a
risk humor.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
It's very mature.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
It's not for children, not unlike what just happened in
a poker room in the Greater Houston area.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Jesse, you and I.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
For those who don't know, Jesse Peyton is one of
my best friends. He's a really funny stand up comedian.
And besides touring around the country together, you do a
lot of radio with me, and you and I actually
met each other because of poker. You're a besides being
a comedian, you're an ex con and a poker player.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yeah, thank you for just ruining all my dating side biography, Kenny.
With those are the things I left off of there,
but thank you for doing it in front of millions
of listeners.
Speaker 12 (20:56):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Yeah, I used to play and run a poker game
for a long time and some guys were doing a
poker podcast here in studio and you were next door,
and I came in and you know, told a lot
of unrelated penis jokes, and you were like, that's my
type of fella, which was weird. And then here we
are tour in the country doing radio and BFF since then.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
But because of your connection to the poker world, yeah,
you would you say you're semi professional. Yeah, I was
a semi professional. I could beat the common player.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
But guys like Ray Henson and Chris Burchfield, the ones
that we met through, those guys are pro who those
guys eat from that, And I was just, you know,
I was you know, I was like the guy who
would win his bowling league but could never play on tour. Yeah,
you know real poker players.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Though I'm not a poker player, but I know a
lot of these guys. So here in the Houston area.
The poker laws in Texas are vague and confusing. Generally,
gambling is illegal in Texas, but someone several years ago
figured out there's this gray area, if you will, where
because it's not a casino, the laws written so that
the house the casino can't participate in a bet ergo
(22:05):
you like er goes, you can't have it. You can't
have a casino, right because he can't because the house
can't gamble. But someone figured out, well, technically you could
have a poker room.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
So we do.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
We do have poker rooms all over the state, and
one of them's here in Houston.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
What's it called Joker Stars. Good friend of mine, Jerry Inn,
is the owner of that. It's a great club.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
And you've been in there before, you've hung out obviously.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I used to do a show right next to it
at Cap Supper Club. All Right, We've got this guy
named Adrian Peterson. He's technically from Texas and he's a
professional football player, first ballot Hall of Famer coming up.
He's gonna be he's as good as there was in
the NFL.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Ever, Yeah, and running back, if I'm not mistaken, played
fifteen seasons in the NFL. He was in Oklahoma Sooner
back in the day and he just got.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Into trouble or did he what happened? Tell the story? Well,
apparently he was at a poker room. He's a big
poker player, very well known, plays in a lot of
the rooms in here Houston, and I've played with him
multiple times. If I walked in right now, if he
walked into the studio right now, he would recognize me,
call me by name, and you know, shake my hand
way too hard. Because the guy's built like a brick
crap house. You don't know him. Money, No, he would
(23:11):
owe me money. He's a degenerate gambler. I'm a winning poker, plarry.
He was a losing one. But he has way more
money than I do. But he was apparently not having
a good day and was getting mouthy and lippy with
some of the staff there and the dealers, who you
know which is crazy and poker. When you get mad
at a dealer for the way the cards go, that's
like screaming at your mailman for getting a bill in
(23:33):
the mail. Like this guy's just flipping the cards over.
It makes no sense. And one of the good friend
of mine, baby Joe is his nickname, Joe Cosangeta, told him, hey,
you know, chill out, calm down, and he didn't calm down. Surprisingly,
that doesn't work with women either. Yeah, hey, you should
look at it rationally, and when a guy's losing all
of his money, and yeah, they were not happy, so
(23:55):
they engaged in fisticuffs rewind right here.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
My favorite is this guy right here. He's like not
even interested in what's going on. A lot the fight
breaks out. Some of these people see so many fights.
An NFL players fighting one of the poker players in
the room, and there are people in the room that
don't even care. There's also always one girl at every
poker game and she's not even playing, she's just hanging out.
Some guy brought his girlfriend with. This dude is holding
his own Jesse. I'm actually kind of surprised.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
And baby Joe's about my age, maybe a hair a
year or two older, and fighting a first ballot Hall
of Famer who's probably Adrian Peterson's what thirty five, probably
ten years is his junior.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
His Wikipedia page says he's forty. Who's that Adre Peterson
nineteen eighty five? Fair enough, but look at that.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
I mean he's still built like a monster and as
a professional athlete. Yeah, and this guy some Joe and
I are good friends. I've known Joe for fifteen years,
and you know, he was kind of a he was
a knucklehead, ruffian guy too, and he's definitely not.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Scared, not even a little bit. Dude, Man, that was
so look at him taking a swing. Ye tramps, Adrian
Peterson bright shoes, but you got you got a strong
sneaker game. Jesse, what are your thoughts on the yellow
and purple sneakers? They're very ethnic Ethnico. Yeah, only two
groups of people could get away with that, Ethnics and
(25:14):
Gaze mixing Gaze. Yeah, well that's okay. So how did
this end?
Speaker 3 (25:20):
What happened? I mean, obviously it's on TMZ now. I
was civilly broken up, and for I was just more
impressed with Joe hanging in there, like definitely, Like if
you watch this fight objectively and you didn't know either
one of them, you would say it was a pretty
close fight. And I would love to have it on
my biography. Got in a fist fight with Adrian Peterson
(25:42):
and I'm undefeated lifetime. One of the.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
People in the comments section, Kevin says they're in a
Chinny gambling womb.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
I don't know what that means Kenn either, but it
looks Hey. If you Paul's real quick, you can look
above and flying. That's not a bug above there, it's
a Chinese drone. You're not kidding? Wow? How about that? Yes?
Spying on it. That's where, in fact, that's where the
camera came from. How interesting.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Yeah, okay, so the room didn't close or anything.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
They still they Yeah, they got right back to it.
So fights aren't common. I will say this. I know
this poker room very well. It is a very well
run establishment by a good friend of mine, Jerry In
And this is not a common thing. But I appreciate
Joe stepping in there in the face of fighting a
NFL Hall of Fame football player to keep peace and
(26:33):
protect his staff.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I hate to make it about her, but there's one
woman in the room. White mini skirt. What is this
a halter top? Yeah, she's actually dressed pretty well compared
to most women nowadays. Yeah, I have noticed, Jesse. There
is a way that women are dressing this summer, and
I have a photo of it.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
It was in the New York Post. Here I want to.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
We're on the radio, so people can't see what we're
looking at, but those of us on social media can
see basically right now, the look this summer that women
will take any black shirt, right, haltertop, tank top, t shirt, whatever,
and pair it with the white with the stonewashed blue
mom jeans, that's the look this summer. This is the
forgive me a little incoming language, the basic bitch look
(27:13):
it is.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
This is the pumpkin spice latte right here. This photo
looks like if it was captioned, it would be Dutch
Sister's coffee.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
That's it, exactly. This is the look of a tailor
swift concert. Just standing on the street corner there. Every
woman you meet on a dating app dresses like this
right now.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Absolutely, it's you know what's silly is I have a
bunch of jeans, Canny. I probably got twenty five pair
of blue jeans. I don't know how you could put
all of these and they're all the exact same color.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
How does that happen? Yeah, how does that happen? They're
all wearing I don't know. Women are just predictable. I
guess I had made this point yesterday on social media
that this is not a good look for women. They're
wearing the dumpy diaper blue jeans. I'm from the twentieth century,
so to me, I remember low cut jeans or city jeans.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Right, they were sexy. This is it's mom jeans, Kenny.
It looks like they bought these genes at forever fifty three.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And by the way, I hate to be the one
to point it out, but I made this point yesterday
and social media. It's not a good look, and a
lot of women disagreed with me. You know who did
not disagree with me? If you look through the comment
section here the five or six really attractive women in
the comment section, one of them being nationally syndicated radio
host Dana lash maybe one of the best looking women
(28:28):
in conservative media, said burn these hideous genes in a fire.
Now I'm not saying that means I'm right.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
No, I'm not. But if mc hammer made a blue
gene for women forty years later, this would be it.
It's not a good It's not like last night.
Speaker 8 (28:43):
After a few beers, we discovered the art of deceiting politicians.
Just tell them the truth and they'll never believe you.
Kenny Webster's pursuit of happiness.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Great, Now that story is going to give me bad dreams.
Imagine that, just like that, especially if those nine year
take place on Elm Street.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I hate it. Jesse, are you uh? Do you have
a nightmare? Do you remember your dreams when you wake
up in the morning? Not really. I you know, I
can usually look down and if my covers are in
a tent, I know we had a good dream. That
isn't that I had always wondered?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
No, it's okay, I had wondered. I asked a doctor
about that recently.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Why do men when I have to I'm just going to,
for lack of a better term, when you have to
relieve yourself sometimes when a man's asleep, Yeah, you become
we all know what fill in the blank.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
We know what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Is that like your body's way of preventing you from
messing up your bed? And a doctor said, no, what's
happening is and someone actually explained this to me. Your
bladder fills up with fluid and then it presses against
your prostate, which causes you.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
So there's like a scientific reason for it. Well, I remember,
I mean I was incarcerated for a long time and
I was you know, I would go through phases in
there where I would just not do that for a
long period of time, and then at night you're doing it.
Is that whether you like it or not. It's like
it's like trying to hold back a sneeze. Yeah, it's like, no,
you're not. When you were in prison, did you have
(30:02):
what's it called the conjugal visits? Do you guys know
they don't do that in Texas. That's not not a thing.
I mean, yeah, there are, but they're inner cell that's
not a good thing. It depends on who your cellmate is.
If you're in there with Sean Puffy Combs, yeah, it's
everything's conjugal. Jesse, you didn't know who the punisher was.
I didn't know who the I thought it was, you know,
(30:23):
the Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
No, the punisher is the name of one of the witnesses,
one of the star witnesses and the P Diddy trial.
He's a black male escort or exotic dancer or whatever
you'd call it, and he was a witness to some
of the debauchery that took place. So when I heard
the words bunker buster in the news, I just assumed
it was another p didty escort.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
Yeah, it does sound like a It does sound like
a party favor at a freak off at the Diddy mansion.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
That trial is wrapping up, that is rapping and the
defense didn't bring any witnesses. Imagine how long you've been
doing this for P did He's been having his freak
offs for twenty thirty plus years, and there's not a
single person that's attended these things that could testify on
P Diddy's behalf, that could speak positively about him. That
I guess the prosecution wouldn't say, well, yeah, but didn't
(31:09):
you want to stab a guy in a nightclub?
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I mean right, there's nobody. There's nobody without ill repute
there at all, you know, and it's like at least
one person from the Epstein Island crap could have been like, Hey,
I just came here for the jet skis and the
charcuterie boards and you know you didn't. But nobody came
to the Diddy freak off, like you didn't cover the
cheese dip, Like nobody came because he's got you know,
(31:32):
endless wings. Right, No, that's everybody came to get penetrated.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Even jay Z, I guess would be what when you think, like,
who were Diddy's friends? Well, jay Z, that's a guy
people like because the doesn't organize the NFL halftime shows. Yeah,
but he was also a crack dealer who stabbed a
guy exactly. That's gonna get brought up in front of
the jury. I gotta think right right the latest time
it is this prosecutors have at the eleventh hour dropped
(31:57):
some of the charges related to their sprawling and indictment
of Sean Diddy Coombs as the government seeks to create
clear instructions for the jury. Attorneys for the Southern District
of New York, which by the way, President Trump's administration claims,
is the same office where they're withholding the Epstein files,
they are removing instructions from the charge that relate to
(32:18):
attempted kidnapping, attempted arson, and aiding and abetting sex trafficking.
According to the court filings, the government is no longer
planning to proceed with theories of liability, so instructions are
no longer necessary. The decision does not change the charges
the office brought against Combs, simplifies which predicate acts the
jury should focus on when deliberating on the verdict. Combs
(32:41):
has pleaded not guilty to one count of racketeering conspiracy,
two counts of sex trafficking, and two counts of transportation
to engage in prostitution.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
You know, Kenny, in my entire career in show business,
I've been to one Ditty freakoff and I'm not proud
of it, but I was kind of very warmly welcome
to When I got there, asked what the party favors were,
and they told me I was a party favor. So
we played a cute little We played a cute little
party game called pin the tail on the Honky? Is
(33:11):
that it? Yeah? I was token honky and I found
out black dudes don't have tails. Those weren't tails, and
they hurt. Wow, that was a surprise. It's and I'm
very upset that they're dropping charges because I was there
and I was incarcerated, and when I was there, I
couldn't drop the soap, so that was a bad correlation.
(33:32):
So no, it's okay. I'm out here to judge you.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Look, I've never been to a P Diddy freak off,
but I know somebody that went to one. They said,
it's exciting, it's fine. It's weird when you wake up
the next morning you're not hungover, but your bunghole hurts
for some reason.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
You're not hungover, but you're bent over. It's weird.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I think the weirdest thing about the p Didty trial
that nobody expected was that is every rapper gay or
they all gay.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
I didn't think that. I never had him know that either.
I knew him as a as Sean Combs and P
Diddy that's a gay name. And then there's I call
him Daisy. It's not not jay Z anymore. No, it's not.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
In the last segment, we were talking about how a
lot of white women dress the same this summer. They
all wear those the dirty diaper jeans apparently, I don't
know how else to describe it, the big the mom jeans.
And we were watching videos of how white women are
dressing this summer, and we stumbled across this. Here's a
white lady explaining why she can never be drafted. And
a lot of you know, a lot of zoomers are
(34:31):
worried about getting drafted now because of the war with
Iran and Yemen and Israel and Ukraine and Russia and
pretty much every corner of the world right now. So
this woman has an idea for why she should never
get drafted, and I think her theory is actually pretty
rock salt.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Here's a few reasons.
Speaker 12 (34:46):
Why I shouldn't be drafted. Number One, I like to gossip.
I'll willingly go to the other side and gossip about you,
including your personal secrets, just to get them to like me.
I've never known how to be quiet about anything my life,
so your secrets they're not safe with me. Number two,
I've always wanted to have an enemy still lovers romance,
(35:07):
so being drafted would kind of feel like my opportunity.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Number three.
Speaker 12 (35:12):
If you yell at me, I'll cry associate. If you're
a male authority figure.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
I will crumple.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Number four.
Speaker 12 (35:20):
I actually can't wear camo because I'm a cool summer
and also, if I look back in my costume, I'm
not going to go. Number five.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
I'm a picky eater.
Speaker 12 (35:27):
If the option is to eat MRIs or nothing, I
will choose nothing, and then I won't shut up about
how I'm being skinny. Then, as a bonus, I was
an ROTC already and I quit after three weeks.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Okay, so she was already in the army and she
didn't make it, Jesse, do the things you just say
surprise you at all?
Speaker 3 (35:44):
No, but a lot of things are making sense now, Kenny.
I've never understood how any man could be homosexual because
I love women. And then I watched that video, and
I'm now, I get it now. It's just like that.
I don't know. She raises a lot.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Great, I know she's kidding, but like, do you understand
women can't be there's a reason that we in the
Catholic Church don't have female priests. Do you understand how
that would work? In a confessional booth? You go in
there and you tell them your darkest secrets. Our father,
I'm sorry, I have sinned, forgive me. It's been six
months since my last confession. And then you tell them listen,
I unfortunately, you know I cheated on my wife, I stole,
(36:22):
I shoplifted, I uh, insider trading, whatever it is. And
then you'd be quiet for a minute and then the
priest on the other side would say, go on, dude,
like you can't you can't have female priests.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
She's instagram live. Sorry are you doing this? Exactly?
Speaker 2 (36:39):
So, when this woman says I'll tell all my the
secrets to I ran or I believe her.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
I completely agree. That's what women would do. And she
would have the worst vernacular doing it too. Like your
confessional is giving obsessive.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
It's giving me the ick. Oh my god, I'm getting
the pease all right, I gotta play one more video
before we get out of here. Jesse showed me this earlier,
and there was some suggestion.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Online that this video may or may not be real.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
I don't know if it's real or not. I do
know it has elements of truthiness to it. Ever since
the nineteen sixty remember there was President LBJ.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
Lyndon B.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Johnson created the War on poverty. Anytime the government creates
a war on something, we fail at taking war on terrorism,
war on poverty, find a way around.
Speaker 11 (37:22):
It, war on hunger, we're dodging that draft. There's no
way the war on anything. Well, the War on poverty
was very bad for the black community. It created a
system where people were rewarded for.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Bad behavior, so that a single parenthood, for example, skyrocketed
after people realized if we get married, then we get
less money from the government, single moms get more. It
didn't work out well for some of the marginalized, disenfranchised
members of our culture. And so that brings us to
this video today. I'm just going to turn up the
volume here and hit place so we can all watch.
Speaker 13 (37:53):
Getting no Job. If you go get a job, they're
gonna take my Section eight then you won't be able
to get no Section eight. You're not going to get
no job. They're going to count your income against my
Section eight in my link card, you're not working no,
So I don't care what you gotta say. I don't
care how you feel. You're not working. You're not going
to get a job.
Speaker 14 (38:11):
You're seeing how i'mupposed to be successful in life. So
you're basically telling me, I gotta I gotta be broke
to be successful. I got to be broke so I
can get Section eight.
Speaker 13 (38:19):
You gotta be government can help you.
Speaker 14 (38:22):
So the government can help me. So you're telling me
I can't work on a job, bro Like that's like
all my friends got jobs to live in nice houses.
So you're telling me I got to I got to
go through the same thing you went through.
Speaker 13 (38:32):
If you have a house, any of that, they're going
to take.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
My Section eight. What they'd be like what they get yours?
Like Eve, you can get out doing the screen reads.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
My mama just told me that I can't get a
job because they gone gone take her Section eight in
her link card, she said government assistance is a cheat code.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
For black people. Justine, you're blacker than me. What do
you think about this?
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Uh, Jesse, you did so you lived with black people.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Here. Here's the the easy take from this is how
crappy the mom is. I think that's very I'm less
intrigued by her response and more intrigued by the young man.
And I know it's easy to slant this about how
bad it is, but look at this young dude videoing
(39:24):
his mom and saying, Mom, I want to be successful.
I want to get a job. To me, that's impressive.
And I'm looking for any glimmer of optimism that we
can from this, because what she's spouting is a system
that we built, that we know is broken, that is
enabling and given a crutch for this community of impoverished people.
But for this kid to want to break the mold
and do it on his own, I'm going to find
(39:45):
the silver lining in this one kid. Find it for us.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
I love us kid, I love that well. That is well,
there's an interesting lesson to be learned here. The War
on poverty created the system. It's an age old hustle.
I bet people have heard this. Before guy gets his
girlfriend pregnant, they don't get married. He owns property, right,
Maybe he owns a condo or an apartment or something.
He rents it out to her. Section eight. Right, he
lives in it for free. She gets it for cheap.
(40:10):
The government subsidizes their their mortgage. Kid lives there, They
get the Section eight, they get the food stamps. This
isn't just something black people do. I know whites do
it too. I'm sure some of the browns do.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
It.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Isn't that weird we have to call him brown people now?
But real quick, though, what color are the Asians?
Speaker 3 (40:26):
Yell er? I don't think you're supposed to say that,
Jesse Oka fault. What color are the Native Americans? Red?
Speaker 2 (40:33):
No, I don't think you're supposed to. Sorry, this is
you're tricking me. I don't know what they're well, it's
good fusing, you know it is. Yeah, they're commanders. I
don't approve of any of that anyway. I digress. Hey, Jesse,
some of this misogynistic racist humor that you do. Can
people come and watch you do it this weekend?
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Yes? And you can bring your date to do it
a couple's therapy guys, and I do a one hundred
percent money back guarantee for every guy who brings his
girlfriend or wife there or email date I do. My
goal is to get everybody that get that you get
lucky that night, that you get some intercourse and fellas.
If your girl doesn't put out that night, I'll be
staying at the Hampton Room two o nine. Come by.
(41:14):
And that doesn't make me gay, It makes me a capitalist.
That's true.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Thank you very much, Jesse Peyton find him on social media.
His website is jesseisfunny dot com.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
Thanks for listening, everybody.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
We'll be back bright and early tomorrow morning for more
of what you bought a radio for.
Speaker 12 (41:31):
You are listening to the pursuit of.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
That be Miss Radio.
Speaker 8 (41:36):
Tell the government to kiss your ass when you listen
to this show.
Gigan of government sucks soon of happiness. Radio is de
Ux Liberty and freedom will make you smile of a
suit of happing us on your radio toil justice. Cheeseburger
is a libit arise at the food.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
A new report claims glass bottles may contain more microplastics
than plastic containers, but both are far far behind the
average real housewife. I'm just guessing. Hi, everybody, I'm Kenny Webster.
Thanks for turning around the radio. It's great to be
here with you this afternoon. Who's here today? Oh yeah,
stand up comedian Jesse Payton is going to be stopping
(00:44):
by in a little bit. We have a comedy show
this weekend at the Panther Room. And where's that at.
It's it's in Fort Worth. If you want to come
hang with us. Tickets are available right now. Four shows
you're gonna want.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
To go to that. It's gonna be a lot of fun.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
If you're in the fort Worth area, maybe you're in
the sh Report area or the Tyler, Texas area, it
would be worth it to drive out to that. If
you want tickets, you can go to jesseisfunny dot com.
The event is going to be at the Big Laughs
comedy club. Big Laugh Comedy Club. I didn't mean to
pluralize it. We're in the panther room now. But there's
also a link at the top of my ex account.
I'm Kenny Webster. As a lot of you probably know anyway,
(01:20):
Donald Trump had a lot of big w's over the
past twenty four hours.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Let's start off with this one. That little piece.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Deal the ceasefire, if you will, between our friends in NATO,
excuse me, and Iran in Israel.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Seems to me holding up so far.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Trump touchdown and speaking of NATO, he met with him
yesterday in the Netherlands and he got our allies to
finally commit to paying their fair share. You ever go
out to dinner with a group of your friends and
you didn't order any margaritas, and the bill comes and
everybody throws in a twenty and you look at the
(01:57):
bill and your share of it is like seventy eighty dollars,
but all you got was a cheeseburger or a chicken
sandwich or something. You think to yourself, man, this doesn't
make any sense. You look around the table. There's your
French buddy. He's got four cocktails in front of him
in a steak and you look over at your friend
from Italy and what did he order? Two glasses of
wine and caviat And then you look at your friend
(02:18):
from Canada and this guy he ordered twenty four oysters.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So that's twice the amount of average.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
That's a lot, right, And all you got was a
weak little chicken sandwich and you had to pay more
than half the bill. Well, that's a lot like what
America's role is in NATO. NATO is supposed to be
a military alliance, but we pay a lot more than
they do. Doesn't really seem fair, does it. Donald Trump
spoke out against this four years ago, so it was
(02:47):
longer than that. During his first term, Donald Trump made
a point, remember when he said he wanted to get
us out of NATO. He said, you know, we're the
only ones paying our fair share? What about all these
other countries. Yesterday, the Secretary General in charge of NATO
made a big announcement.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
For too long one ally, the United States carriage too
much of the burden of that commitment, and that changes today,
President Trump. Dear Donald, you made this change possible. Your
leadership on this has already produced one trillion dollars an
extra spending from Europe and ALLI since twenty sixteen, and
(03:25):
the decision to day we'll produce trillions more for our
common defense to make us longer and fairer by equalizing
spending between America and America's allies.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
All right, so fair share? Right now, our allies are
going to go from two to five percent. Some of
them are paying less than two percent. That doesn't seem fair.
As Donald Trump sitting there at the table with all
these other people from Europe rolling their eyes at him,
it's a quicker reminder. I didn't order any beers. I
didn't get oysters. Y'all are having caviar. Why am I
(03:57):
paying more than you? It's about time Trump believes the
US should pay less into the Alliance based on where
the money goes. That money is not being used to
protect the United States. The United States protects the United States.
That money is being used to protect Europe. Trump is
going to meet with a bunch of leaders today. He's
meeting them with them right now, including President Zelensky. And
(04:20):
I don't know if you've heard, but Zelensky wants a
lot of our money too. Free loading pos damn use Zolensky.
Even in the aftermath of the devastating US military strikes
on Iran's nuclear program over the weekend, the Iranian foreign minister,
who I'm sure you already know, Abbas Aragaki, is vowing
the terrorist regime will continue its pursuit of a nuclear program,
(04:42):
which requires uranium enrichment. Now, at first they said that
we didn't bomb any of it. They said, nay, you
hardly hurt us at all. It only set us back
a couple months. And by saying that, it's almost like
they were provoking us, trying to get us to keep
bombing them. So now they claim no, no, no, you
destroyed it all. Don't don't bomb us anymore. A spokesman
for the Iranian Atomic Energy Industry Agency excuse me as
(05:05):
speaking publicly, and he had this to say, I think
we have a tape of that, and hang on, can
you roll the tape?
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Please?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Thank you, roll the tape. It's not working. Okay, it
doesn't matter. Live radio, folks, the fun of live radio.
The SoundBite will not work. Isn't that fun? Anyway? You
missed out on listening to an Iranian guy talk out loud.
It's kind of like listening to a bear fart in
the woods. Nobody needs to hear that anyway. Basically, what
they said was stop bombing us. You destroyed everything. It's fine,
(05:33):
it's all good. Trump responded to him at the NATO summit,
saying the regime won't be building bombs anytime soon and
that their nuclear sites have been obliterated. Now here's the problem.
Somebody that works at the Pentagon is leaking leakers. This
is why no one said a thing when Midnight Hammer
(05:53):
was being planned and executed. We can't trust members of
our own federal government. Trump's air strikes for a success.
A ceasefire is in place. World War III barely lasted
a few hours, although I'm still a little skeptical about that.
But now the fake press gets involved. They're stunned that
we have a present who stacks wins for the country.
(06:13):
They're trying to downplay this elite display of American military
and diplomatic power by suggesting that Iran's nuclear program was
only set back a few months. They claimed the infrastructure
for making atomic weapons remains intact. That's what they claim.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
This is CNN breaking news.
Speaker 5 (06:31):
We have major breaking news into CNN. Three sources tell
CNN that according to an early US intelligence assessment, the
US military strikes on three of Iran's nuclear facilities last
weekend did not destroy the core components of the country's
nuclear program and likely only setted back a few months.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Now, imagine watching this and cheering for Iran. That's what
CNN viewers are doing. They love this, they think it's great.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
Round about the battle damage that resulted from those US
military strikes on these three Iranian nuclear facilities over the weekend.
And as you said, it was produced by the Defense
Intelligence Agency, which is the Pentagon's intelligence arm And it
is worth noting that it is a very early assessment.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Okay, So it's a story from Natasha Bertrand, and it's
based on three stories. If you don't remember who she is,
I want to refresh your memory. She was the woman
at CNN who published a story detailing how the Hunter
Biden laptop wasn't real. It was during the twenty twenty
election cycle. Do you remember it's the same woman. She
still does a job. Yeah, imagine that still does the
(07:34):
same thing at CNN. The fact that she's telling us
this suggests to me that it's probably not true. But
I do love Donald Trump's response.
Speaker 7 (07:43):
This was an unbelievable hit by genius pilots and genius
people in the military, and then not being given credit
for it, because we have scum that's in this group,
and not all if you are, you have some great reporters,
but you have scum. CNN is scum, msdnngus scum.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
The New York Times is scum. We have bad people.
Speaker 8 (08:04):
This Kenny Webster the best looking dude on radio, and
if you've seen the competition, that's not saying a whole
hell of a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Apparently there's an old airfield in the Florida Everglades. It's
not being used anymore. At least it wasn't being used anymore.
So now they're going to turn it into an immigration
detention center. Yeah, they even gave it a funny nickname.
They're calling an alligator Alcatraz. Wait a second, I thought
Alligator Alcatraz was already the official nickname of the entire state. Anyway,
(08:37):
I guess I was wrong. Hi, everybody, welcome back, Kenny Webster.
You're comedian Jesse Payton joining me in studio shortly. But
before we get to that, let's talk about the criminal
investigation being launched over the Iranian nuclear leak The damage Right.
Speaking to reporters at the NATO summit, Secretary of Defense
Pete i like Beer Hegseth revealed a criminal leak investigation
(08:59):
is underway after top secret intelligence was illegally shared to
undermine US military strikes on Iran's nuclear program, which begs
the question was the leak real or was it fake?
Pete Hegseth says, when you actually look at the report,
by the way, it was a top secret report, it
was preliminary, it was low confidence. You make assessments based
(09:23):
on what you know. We're doing a leak investigation with
the FBI right now because this information is for internal
purposes battle damage assessments. CNN and others are trying to
spin it to make the president look bad when it
was actually an overwhelming success.
Speaker 9 (09:41):
You have something to say about that whom's president When
you talk to the people who built the bombs, understand
what those bombs can do and deliver those bombs. They
landed precisely where they were supposed to, so flawless. Mission
floats right down where we knew they needed to enter.
And given the thirty thousand pounds of explosives and capability
of those munitions.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
It was devastation.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Okay, So the investigation comes after information was leaked to
CNN claiming the US strikes on the Iranian nuclear sites
over the weekend set the program back only a few weeks.
Marco Rubio made an interesting point. He said, I think
it may I actually have the audio of it.
Speaker 7 (10:20):
Here.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Do I have the audio? I don't have the audio.
Marco Rubio said, this is what a leaker is telling you.
This is what a leaker is telling you, what the
intelligence says. That's the game these people play. They read
it and they go out and characterize it the way
they want to characterize it, the way they want it characterized,
and their leakers, this is the game they play. Mark
Rubio made the point that we dropped twelve of the
(10:42):
strongest bombs on the planet right down the hole in
two places. Everything underneath that mountain is in bad shape now.
Marco Rubio says, he refers you to the statements of
the IAEA. There was Iran the way it looked the
day before the attack, and the way it looks right now.
They are way behind where they were seven days ago.
(11:06):
These leakers are professional backstabbers. That's what they are. They
go out and they read this stuff and they tell
you what it says against the law, but they characterize
it for you in the way that is absolutely false.
There's no way Iran comes to the table if somehow
nothing happened. This was complete and total obliteration. They're in
bad shape. They are way behind today compared to seven
(11:29):
days ago because of what the President did. So NATO
Secretary General Mark Rute began the meeting by praising Trump's
decision to take out the Iranian nuclear sites. We played
a little bit of that audio in the last segment.
I'm kind of amazed that whoever leaked that information thought
there wouldn't be any consequences, And what did they plan
(11:51):
to get out of it, simply to make Trump look
bad in a fifteen minute news cycle. It's not going
to work. Certainly doesn't seem like it's working. Most people
that like Trump probably still like them. People that hate
Trump probably still hate them. It didn't change anything. I
think this is going to elect affect the election next year.
It seems unlikely anyway. It's not the only investigation today
(12:14):
on a federal level that's getting a lot of attention
from the media. It's not just the Department of Homeland
Security blasting this woman named Cynthia Gonzalez, the vice mayor
of Cudahee, Los Angeles County City. It's a little town
in Los Angeles County. I'd never heard of it before,
but she hopped on social media recently.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
To tell her followers she.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Wants illegal gang members to come out and violently attack
federal agents that are trying to arrest the undocumented illegal immigrants.
Speaker 10 (12:44):
Not for nothing, but I want to know where all
the trollos are at in Los Angeles, Eighteenth Street, Florentia.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Where's the leadership at?
Speaker 10 (12:52):
Because you guys are all about territory and this is
eighteenth Street and this is Lorente.
Speaker 5 (12:57):
You gotta tag.
Speaker 10 (12:57):
Everything up, claiming hood. And now that your hood's been
invaded by the biggest gang there is, they're.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
In a peep out of you.
Speaker 10 (13:06):
It's everyone else who's not about the gang life that's
out there protesting and speaking us. We're out there life
biding Arthur, protecting our protecting our people, and like where
you at? Minka ya vitovinka ya Vitoo'm like, dude, they're
running a muck all up in.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Your on your shoe. Can you believe this woman is
a doctor? Now, to be clear, she's a doctor of education.
I know. It's amazing, absolutely embarrassing. According to a Fox
News report, this woman posted that on her social media account,
and then the FBI came to her house, and then
(13:46):
she told her social media followers she needs a lawyer.
I mean, yeah, you probably do need a lawyer. Not
a smart woman. She's looking for a lawyer right now.
On uh. I don't understand that she's trying to find
a lawyer on social media, which is a strange thing
to do. I'm surprised at that. I don't quite understand
the strategy here. But anyway, as all that's taken place, yesterday,
(14:07):
they tried to impeach Donald Trump. Texas Democratic Representative Al
green A filed impeachment yesterday. I went horribly, absolutely abysmal.
President Trump got this went nowhere. Green introduced an article
of impeachment against the president over the fact that he
ordered the US military to strike three Iranian nuclear facilities
on Saturday. In the resolution, Green wrote, he alleged abuse
(14:32):
of presidential powers by disregarding the separation of powers, devolving
American democracy into authoritarianism by unconstitutionally usurping Congress's power to
declare war. Now, he didn't even get a hundred votes.
They didn't even break triple digits on this thing. That
means that hundreds of Democrat lawmakers either didn't vote or
they voted with the Republicans not to impeach. You guys,
(14:54):
try to impeach Donald Trump twice already, and all you
did was get him reelected. You sent federal agents to
his house to rifle through his wife's underwear drawer. That
made him more popular. You had him arrested, You had
a mugshot put on the guy. What happened, His popularity
among Latinos and blacks went up. One out of three
black men in Texas voted for Donald Trump. Nothing like
(15:16):
that has happened in decades. Last time Republicans were this
popular with the black community in America, I gotta think
it was the mid twentieth century.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
JFK was still alive.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
It's been a long time, right, here's al Green yesterday.
Speaker 10 (15:35):
Miss a speaker, and still I rise, and I rise
today in the name.
Speaker 11 (15:44):
Of government of the people, by the people, for the people.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Isn't it funny?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Whenever these black male Democrats today the positive stop it.
These guys talk like Martin Luther King Jr. They're cosplaying,
they're LARPing. This isn't real. This is entertainment, and itat
it's great for his constituents. I'm sure they think it's
very entertaining. I wonder sometimes, what is the difference between
Al Green and the Geico Caveman. It's the same guy.
(16:10):
I think the Geico Caveman smarter. He'd probably make a
better lawmaker. Fortunately he's not running for office right now.
I digress. With all that going on right now, it's
interesting to think on one end of the country of
a Texas Democrat trying to impeach the president. On the
other end of the country, you have this lawmaker, excuse me,
the vice mayor of some town in Los Angeles County,
(16:31):
know we'd ever heard of before, calling on gang members
to violently attack federal agents from ICE. And then there's this, right,
they're mad at Trump because of Iran. They're mad at
him because of the ICE agents. ICE just arrested eleven
Iranian nationals in forty eight hours.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Wow, what a weird coincidence.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
No, it's not American Homeland security strikes fast capturing Hesbololink
suspects in Minnesota, part of a sweeping effort to defend
the nation. So you're telling me, right after we launched
missiles at a nuclear site in Iran and some Democrat
city municipal leader on the West Coast cause on gang
(17:09):
members to go out and attack ICE agents, we discover
there are Iranian agents in the country.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
How many?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Almost a dozen of them and not shockingly basically in
Illhan Homer's part of the country. It's pretty obvious there
are two halves of the country right people that support
the United States of America, people who believe in law
and order. You know this isn't like an extreme right
wing position. Stop terrorism, protect the planet, arrest people for
(17:37):
breaking the law. How long can we go on pretending
we have two different countries? How long can we go
on sharing the country with a group of people that
want the nation to fail? They watch CNN all day
long waiting for bad news. Remember a while back, discussions
had over whether or not we could have a healthy
divorce with half the country.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I think we're past that at this point.
Speaker 8 (17:59):
Everything you've heard is a lie, well unless you heard
it from the mouth of Kenny Webster, all facts, even
the bit about it is little Kenny. Oh sorry, bro,
I mean big Kenny. You're listening to Kenny Webster's Pursuit
of happiness.
Speaker 7 (18:14):
They don't know what the did doing.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Do you understand that? Oh? This is interesting.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
China just unveiled a drone the size of a mosquito.
Apparently it's generating as much buzz as this year's NBA Finals.
That was a g rated joke, another direction I could
have gone with that. I'll do it again, Jesse.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Are you ready? I'm gonna do a different version of
that joke? All right? Okay?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
China unveiled a drone the size of a mosquito. Apparently
they modeled it after President Jeshin Ping's penis b I
love it, my buddy, Jesse Payton, live in studio right now,
greeting to you. So we're also live on So besides
being on the radio, we're on social media right now.
We're on X and Rumble. Are you on Rumble? Do
(18:55):
you rumble?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
I don't rumble. I'm I'm on a OnlyFans and porn Hub? Cool?
How's that going? Which of those does better for you?
For seven cents? A month. You can see my Asian drone. Fantastic. Thanks,
that's delightful.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
This weekend, Jesse Payne and I are performing in the
Panther Room at Big Laughs Comedy Club and we're gonna
be there Friday and Saturday night, four shows for those
that want to come hang with us.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
It's a couple's therapy this weekend. You've been doing two
comedy tours simultaneously. Simultaneously, We've been doing the Couple's Therapy
Tour and the Right Side of Comedy. Kinny Webster has
been a part of both of those. You've been an
integral that's a good word. That is a good that
makes you sound smart. It does, and I feel very
intellectually inferior around you, but I love sharing the stage
(19:42):
of the year hilarious. That's right.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
You are a better comedian than I am, but I'm
a better political pundit than you. And together we combined
together to create one great media personnality.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
We are the Yinni Yang completing the whole circle. I'll
be the black side because I've seen you dance, and
nothing about your dance moves, scream, rhythm or diversity. You
have no dei in your dance steps.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Kenny, I have the the rhythm of a Chinese accountant.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
That's what you're the reason the word rhythm has no
vowels in it. You just screwed it all up, Kenny.
I do enjoy, but we have fun. We have a
good time.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
This weekend we're gonna be in Fort Worth and it
is a couple's themed comedy show, so it is a
risk humor.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
It's very mature.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
It's not for children, not unlike what just happened in
a poker room in the Greater Houston area.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Jesse, you and I.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
For those who don't know, Jesse Peyton is one of
my best friends. He's a really funny stand up comedian.
And besides touring around the country together, you do a
lot of radio with me, and you and I actually
met each other because of poker. You're a besides being
a comedian, you're an ex con and a poker player.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Yeah, thank you for just ruining all my dating side biography, Kenny.
With those are the things I left off of there,
but thank you for doing it in front of millions
of listeners.
Speaker 12 (20:56):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Yeah, I used to play and run a poker game
for a long time and some guys were doing a
poker podcast here in studio and you were next door,
and I came in and you know, told a lot
of unrelated penis jokes, and you were like, that's my
type of fella, which was weird. And then here we
are tour in the country doing radio and BFF since then.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
But because of your connection to the poker world, yeah,
you would you say you're semi professional. Yeah, I was
a semi professional. I could beat the common player.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
But guys like Ray Henson and Chris Burchfield, the ones
that we met through, those guys are pro who those
guys eat from that, And I was just, you know,
I was you know, I was like the guy who
would win his bowling league but could never play on tour. Yeah,
you know real poker players.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Though I'm not a poker player, but I know a
lot of these guys. So here in the Houston area.
The poker laws in Texas are vague and confusing. Generally,
gambling is illegal in Texas, but someone several years ago
figured out there's this gray area, if you will, where
because it's not a casino, the laws written so that
the house the casino can't participate in a bet ergo
(22:05):
you like er goes, you can't have it. You can't
have a casino, right because he can't because the house
can't gamble. But someone figured out, well, technically you could
have a poker room.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
So we do.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
We do have poker rooms all over the state, and
one of them's here in Houston.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
What's it called Joker Stars. Good friend of mine, Jerry Inn,
is the owner of that. It's a great club.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
And you've been in there before, you've hung out obviously.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I used to do a show right next to it
at Cap Supper Club. All Right, We've got this guy
named Adrian Peterson. He's technically from Texas and he's a
professional football player, first ballot Hall of Famer coming up.
He's gonna be he's as good as there was in
the NFL.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Ever, Yeah, and running back, if I'm not mistaken, played
fifteen seasons in the NFL. He was in Oklahoma Sooner
back in the day and he just got.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Into trouble or did he what happened? Tell the story? Well,
apparently he was at a poker room. He's a big
poker player, very well known, plays in a lot of
the rooms in here Houston, and I've played with him
multiple times. If I walked in right now, if he
walked into the studio right now, he would recognize me,
call me by name, and you know, shake my hand
way too hard. Because the guy's built like a brick
crap house. You don't know him. Money, No, he would
(23:11):
owe me money. He's a degenerate gambler. I'm a winning poker, plarry.
He was a losing one. But he has way more
money than I do. But he was apparently not having
a good day and was getting mouthy and lippy with
some of the staff there and the dealers, who you
know which is crazy and poker. When you get mad
at a dealer for the way the cards go, that's
like screaming at your mailman for getting a bill in
(23:33):
the mail. Like this guy's just flipping the cards over.
It makes no sense. And one of the good friend
of mine, baby Joe is his nickname, Joe Cosangeta, told him, hey,
you know, chill out, calm down, and he didn't calm down. Surprisingly,
that doesn't work with women either. Yeah, hey, you should
look at it rationally, and when a guy's losing all
of his money, and yeah, they were not happy, so
(23:55):
they engaged in fisticuffs rewind right here.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
My favorite is this guy right here. He's like not
even interested in what's going on. A lot the fight
breaks out. Some of these people see so many fights.
An NFL players fighting one of the poker players in
the room, and there are people in the room that
don't even care. There's also always one girl at every
poker game and she's not even playing, she's just hanging out.
Some guy brought his girlfriend with. This dude is holding
his own Jesse. I'm actually kind of surprised.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
And baby Joe's about my age, maybe a hair a
year or two older, and fighting a first ballot Hall
of Famer who's probably Adrian Peterson's what thirty five, probably
ten years is his junior.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
His Wikipedia page says he's forty. Who's that Adre Peterson
nineteen eighty five? Fair enough, but look at that.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
I mean he's still built like a monster and as
a professional athlete. Yeah, and this guy some Joe and
I are good friends. I've known Joe for fifteen years,
and you know, he was kind of a he was
a knucklehead, ruffian guy too, and he's definitely not.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Scared, not even a little bit. Dude, Man, that was
so look at him taking a swing. Ye tramps, Adrian
Peterson bright shoes, but you got you got a strong
sneaker game. Jesse, what are your thoughts on the yellow
and purple sneakers? They're very ethnic Ethnico. Yeah, only two
groups of people could get away with that, Ethnics and
(25:14):
Gaze mixing Gaze. Yeah, well that's okay. So how did
this end?
Speaker 3 (25:20):
What happened? I mean, obviously it's on TMZ now. I
was civilly broken up, and for I was just more
impressed with Joe hanging in there, like definitely, Like if
you watch this fight objectively and you didn't know either
one of them, you would say it was a pretty
close fight. And I would love to have it on
my biography. Got in a fist fight with Adrian Peterson
(25:42):
and I'm undefeated lifetime. One of the.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
People in the comments section, Kevin says they're in a
Chinny gambling womb.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
I don't know what that means Kenn either, but it
looks Hey. If you Paul's real quick, you can look
above and flying. That's not a bug above there, it's
a Chinese drone. You're not kidding? Wow? How about that? Yes?
Spying on it. That's where, in fact, that's where the
camera came from. How interesting.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Yeah, okay, so the room didn't close or anything.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
They still they Yeah, they got right back to it.
So fights aren't common. I will say this. I know
this poker room very well. It is a very well
run establishment by a good friend of mine, Jerry In
And this is not a common thing. But I appreciate
Joe stepping in there in the face of fighting a
NFL Hall of Fame football player to keep peace and
(26:33):
protect his staff.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I hate to make it about her, but there's one
woman in the room. White mini skirt. What is this
a halter top? Yeah, she's actually dressed pretty well compared
to most women nowadays. Yeah, I have noticed, Jesse. There
is a way that women are dressing this summer, and
I have a photo of it.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
It was in the New York Post. Here I want to.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
We're on the radio, so people can't see what we're
looking at, but those of us on social media can
see basically right now, the look this summer that women
will take any black shirt, right, haltertop, tank top, t shirt, whatever,
and pair it with the white with the stonewashed blue
mom jeans, that's the look this summer. This is the
forgive me a little incoming language, the basic bitch look
(27:13):
it is.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
This is the pumpkin spice latte right here. This photo
looks like if it was captioned, it would be Dutch
Sister's coffee.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
That's it, exactly. This is the look of a tailor
swift concert. Just standing on the street corner there. Every
woman you meet on a dating app dresses like this
right now.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Absolutely, it's you know what's silly is I have a
bunch of jeans, Canny. I probably got twenty five pair
of blue jeans. I don't know how you could put
all of these and they're all the exact same color.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
How does that happen? Yeah, how does that happen? They're
all wearing I don't know. Women are just predictable. I
guess I had made this point yesterday on social media
that this is not a good look for women. They're
wearing the dumpy diaper blue jeans. I'm from the twentieth century,
so to me, I remember low cut jeans or city jeans.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Right, they were sexy. This is it's mom jeans, Kenny.
It looks like they bought these genes at forever fifty three.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And by the way, I hate to be the one
to point it out, but I made this point yesterday
and social media. It's not a good look, and a
lot of women disagreed with me. You know who did
not disagree with me? If you look through the comment
section here the five or six really attractive women in
the comment section, one of them being nationally syndicated radio
host Dana lash maybe one of the best looking women
(28:28):
in conservative media, said burn these hideous genes in a fire.
Now I'm not saying that means I'm right.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
No, I'm not. But if mc hammer made a blue
gene for women forty years later, this would be it.
It's not a good It's not like last night.
Speaker 8 (28:43):
After a few beers, we discovered the art of deceiting politicians.
Just tell them the truth and they'll never believe you.
Kenny Webster's pursuit of happiness.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Great, Now that story is going to give me bad dreams.
Imagine that, just like that, especially if those nine year
take place on Elm Street.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I hate it. Jesse, are you uh? Do you have
a nightmare? Do you remember your dreams when you wake
up in the morning? Not really. I you know, I
can usually look down and if my covers are in
a tent, I know we had a good dream. That
isn't that I had always wondered?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
No, it's okay, I had wondered. I asked a doctor
about that recently.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Why do men when I have to I'm just going to,
for lack of a better term, when you have to
relieve yourself sometimes when a man's asleep, Yeah, you become
we all know what fill in the blank.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
We know what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Is that like your body's way of preventing you from
messing up your bed? And a doctor said, no, what's
happening is and someone actually explained this to me. Your
bladder fills up with fluid and then it presses against
your prostate, which causes you.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
So there's like a scientific reason for it. Well, I remember,
I mean I was incarcerated for a long time and
I was you know, I would go through phases in
there where I would just not do that for a
long period of time, and then at night you're doing it.
Is that whether you like it or not. It's like
it's like trying to hold back a sneeze. Yeah, it's like, no,
you're not. When you were in prison, did you have
(30:02):
what's it called the conjugal visits? Do you guys know
they don't do that in Texas. That's not not a thing.
I mean, yeah, there are, but they're inner cell that's
not a good thing. It depends on who your cellmate is.
If you're in there with Sean Puffy Combs, yeah, it's
everything's conjugal. Jesse, you didn't know who the punisher was.
I didn't know who the I thought it was, you know,
(30:23):
the Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
No, the punisher is the name of one of the witnesses,
one of the star witnesses and the P Diddy trial.
He's a black male escort or exotic dancer or whatever
you'd call it, and he was a witness to some
of the debauchery that took place. So when I heard
the words bunker buster in the news, I just assumed
it was another p didty escort.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
Yeah, it does sound like a It does sound like
a party favor at a freak off at the Diddy mansion.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
That trial is wrapping up, that is rapping and the
defense didn't bring any witnesses. Imagine how long you've been
doing this for P did He's been having his freak
offs for twenty thirty plus years, and there's not a
single person that's attended these things that could testify on
P Diddy's behalf, that could speak positively about him. That
I guess the prosecution wouldn't say, well, yeah, but didn't
(31:09):
you want to stab a guy in a nightclub?
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I mean right, there's nobody. There's nobody without ill repute
there at all, you know, and it's like at least
one person from the Epstein Island crap could have been like, Hey,
I just came here for the jet skis and the
charcuterie boards and you know you didn't. But nobody came
to the Diddy freak off, like you didn't cover the
cheese dip, Like nobody came because he's got you know,
(31:32):
endless wings. Right, No, that's everybody came to get penetrated.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Even jay Z, I guess would be what when you think, like,
who were Diddy's friends? Well, jay Z, that's a guy
people like because the doesn't organize the NFL halftime shows. Yeah,
but he was also a crack dealer who stabbed a
guy exactly. That's gonna get brought up in front of
the jury. I gotta think right right the latest time
it is this prosecutors have at the eleventh hour dropped
(31:57):
some of the charges related to their sprawling and indictment
of Sean Diddy Coombs as the government seeks to create
clear instructions for the jury. Attorneys for the Southern District
of New York, which by the way, President Trump's administration claims,
is the same office where they're withholding the Epstein files,
they are removing instructions from the charge that relate to
(32:18):
attempted kidnapping, attempted arson, and aiding and abetting sex trafficking.
According to the court filings, the government is no longer
planning to proceed with theories of liability, so instructions are
no longer necessary. The decision does not change the charges
the office brought against Combs, simplifies which predicate acts the
jury should focus on when deliberating on the verdict. Combs
(32:41):
has pleaded not guilty to one count of racketeering conspiracy,
two counts of sex trafficking, and two counts of transportation
to engage in prostitution.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
You know, Kenny, in my entire career in show business,
I've been to one Ditty freakoff and I'm not proud
of it, but I was kind of very warmly welcome
to When I got there, asked what the party favors were,
and they told me I was a party favor. So
we played a cute little We played a cute little
party game called pin the tail on the Honky? Is
(33:11):
that it? Yeah? I was token honky and I found
out black dudes don't have tails. Those weren't tails, and
they hurt. Wow, that was a surprise. It's and I'm
very upset that they're dropping charges because I was there
and I was incarcerated, and when I was there, I
couldn't drop the soap, so that was a bad correlation.
(33:32):
So no, it's okay. I'm out here to judge you.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Look, I've never been to a P Diddy freak off,
but I know somebody that went to one. They said,
it's exciting, it's fine. It's weird when you wake up
the next morning you're not hungover, but your bunghole hurts
for some reason.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
You're not hungover, but you're bent over. It's weird.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I think the weirdest thing about the p Didty trial
that nobody expected was that is every rapper gay or
they all gay.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
I didn't think that. I never had him know that either.
I knew him as a as Sean Combs and P
Diddy that's a gay name. And then there's I call
him Daisy. It's not not jay Z anymore. No, it's not.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
In the last segment, we were talking about how a
lot of white women dress the same this summer. They
all wear those the dirty diaper jeans apparently, I don't
know how else to describe it, the big the mom jeans.
And we were watching videos of how white women are
dressing this summer, and we stumbled across this. Here's a
white lady explaining why she can never be drafted. And
a lot of you know, a lot of zoomers are
(34:31):
worried about getting drafted now because of the war with
Iran and Yemen and Israel and Ukraine and Russia and
pretty much every corner of the world right now. So
this woman has an idea for why she should never
get drafted, and I think her theory is actually pretty
rock salt.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Here's a few reasons.
Speaker 12 (34:46):
Why I shouldn't be drafted. Number One, I like to gossip.
I'll willingly go to the other side and gossip about you,
including your personal secrets, just to get them to like me.
I've never known how to be quiet about anything my life,
so your secrets they're not safe with me. Number two,
I've always wanted to have an enemy still lovers romance,
(35:07):
so being drafted would kind of feel like my opportunity.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Number three.
Speaker 12 (35:12):
If you yell at me, I'll cry associate. If you're
a male authority figure.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
I will crumple.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Number four.
Speaker 12 (35:20):
I actually can't wear camo because I'm a cool summer
and also, if I look back in my costume, I'm
not going to go. Number five.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
I'm a picky eater.
Speaker 12 (35:27):
If the option is to eat MRIs or nothing, I
will choose nothing, and then I won't shut up about
how I'm being skinny. Then, as a bonus, I was
an ROTC already and I quit after three weeks.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Okay, so she was already in the army and she
didn't make it, Jesse, do the things you just say
surprise you at all?
Speaker 3 (35:44):
No, but a lot of things are making sense now, Kenny.
I've never understood how any man could be homosexual because
I love women. And then I watched that video, and
I'm now, I get it now. It's just like that.
I don't know. She raises a lot.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Great, I know she's kidding, but like, do you understand
women can't be there's a reason that we in the
Catholic Church don't have female priests. Do you understand how
that would work? In a confessional booth? You go in
there and you tell them your darkest secrets. Our father,
I'm sorry, I have sinned, forgive me. It's been six
months since my last confession. And then you tell them listen,
I unfortunately, you know I cheated on my wife, I stole,
(36:22):
I shoplifted, I uh, insider trading, whatever it is. And
then you'd be quiet for a minute and then the
priest on the other side would say, go on, dude,
like you can't you can't have female priests.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
She's instagram live. Sorry are you doing this? Exactly?
Speaker 2 (36:39):
So, when this woman says I'll tell all my the
secrets to I ran or I believe her.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
I completely agree. That's what women would do. And she
would have the worst vernacular doing it too. Like your
confessional is giving obsessive.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
It's giving me the ick. Oh my god, I'm getting
the pease all right, I gotta play one more video
before we get out of here. Jesse showed me this earlier,
and there was some suggestion.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Online that this video may or may not be real.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
I don't know if it's real or not. I do
know it has elements of truthiness to it. Ever since
the nineteen sixty remember there was President LBJ.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
Lyndon B.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Johnson created the War on poverty. Anytime the government creates
a war on something, we fail at taking war on terrorism,
war on poverty, find a way around.
Speaker 11 (37:22):
It, war on hunger, we're dodging that draft. There's no
way the war on anything. Well, the War on poverty
was very bad for the black community. It created a
system where people were rewarded for.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Bad behavior, so that a single parenthood, for example, skyrocketed
after people realized if we get married, then we get
less money from the government, single moms get more. It
didn't work out well for some of the marginalized, disenfranchised
members of our culture. And so that brings us to
this video today. I'm just going to turn up the
volume here and hit place so we can all watch.
Speaker 13 (37:53):
Getting no Job. If you go get a job, they're
gonna take my Section eight then you won't be able
to get no Section eight. You're not going to get
no job. They're going to count your income against my
Section eight in my link card, you're not working no,
So I don't care what you gotta say. I don't
care how you feel. You're not working. You're not going
to get a job.
Speaker 14 (38:11):
You're seeing how i'mupposed to be successful in life. So
you're basically telling me, I gotta I gotta be broke
to be successful. I got to be broke so I
can get Section eight.
Speaker 13 (38:19):
You gotta be government can help you.
Speaker 14 (38:22):
So the government can help me. So you're telling me
I can't work on a job, bro Like that's like
all my friends got jobs to live in nice houses.
So you're telling me I got to I got to
go through the same thing you went through.
Speaker 13 (38:32):
If you have a house, any of that, they're going
to take.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
My Section eight. What they'd be like what they get yours?
Like Eve, you can get out doing the screen reads.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
My mama just told me that I can't get a
job because they gone gone take her Section eight in
her link card, she said government assistance is a cheat code.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
For black people. Justine, you're blacker than me. What do
you think about this?
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Uh, Jesse, you did so you lived with black people.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Here. Here's the the easy take from this is how
crappy the mom is. I think that's very I'm less
intrigued by her response and more intrigued by the young man.
And I know it's easy to slant this about how
bad it is, but look at this young dude videoing
(39:24):
his mom and saying, Mom, I want to be successful.
I want to get a job. To me, that's impressive.
And I'm looking for any glimmer of optimism that we
can from this, because what she's spouting is a system
that we built, that we know is broken, that is
enabling and given a crutch for this community of impoverished people.
But for this kid to want to break the mold
and do it on his own, I'm going to find
(39:45):
the silver lining in this one kid. Find it for us.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
I love us kid, I love that well. That is well,
there's an interesting lesson to be learned here. The War
on poverty created the system. It's an age old hustle.
I bet people have heard this. Before guy gets his
girlfriend pregnant, they don't get married. He owns property, right,
Maybe he owns a condo or an apartment or something.
He rents it out to her. Section eight. Right, he
lives in it for free. She gets it for cheap.
(40:10):
The government subsidizes their their mortgage. Kid lives there, They
get the Section eight, they get the food stamps. This
isn't just something black people do. I know whites do
it too. I'm sure some of the browns do.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
It.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Isn't that weird we have to call him brown people now?
But real quick, though, what color are the Asians?
Speaker 3 (40:26):
Yell er? I don't think you're supposed to say that,
Jesse Oka fault. What color are the Native Americans? Red?
Speaker 2 (40:33):
No, I don't think you're supposed to. Sorry, this is
you're tricking me. I don't know what they're well, it's
good fusing, you know it is. Yeah, they're commanders. I
don't approve of any of that anyway. I digress. Hey, Jesse,
some of this misogynistic racist humor that you do. Can
people come and watch you do it this weekend?
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Yes? And you can bring your date to do it
a couple's therapy guys, and I do a one hundred
percent money back guarantee for every guy who brings his
girlfriend or wife there or email date I do. My
goal is to get everybody that get that you get
lucky that night, that you get some intercourse and fellas.
If your girl doesn't put out that night, I'll be
staying at the Hampton Room two o nine. Come by.
(41:14):
And that doesn't make me gay, It makes me a capitalist.
That's true.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Thank you very much, Jesse Peyton find him on social media.
His website is jesseisfunny dot com.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
Thanks for listening, everybody.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
We'll be back bright and early tomorrow morning for more
of what you bought a radio for.
Speaker 12 (41:31):
You are listening to the pursuit of.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
That be Miss Radio.
Speaker 8 (41:36):
Tell the government to kiss your ass when you listen
to this show.
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