March 7, 2024 • 6 mins
Crystal Hefner joins Jonesy & Amanda for a chat about her new book, Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself.
This interview is uncut and unedited.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jersey and Amanda jam Nation. You may know our next
guest as the widow of Hugh Hefner, but she's also
a model and entrepreneur and a mental health advocate. Krystal
Hefner's new book, Only Say Good Things takes you through
her stolen youth and the journey she's been through to
get it all back.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Crystal High, Hi, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
How did you come to be part of the Playboy Mansion?
How did all this come about?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I submitted a photo to go to a party at
the Playboy Mansion. A friend suggested that I submit a
photo to go, and I didn't think I'd ever get picked,
but I did, and up I went to a Halloween
party in two thousand and eight.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Wow, and so many girls have been through the Mansion.
What was it about you and hef I mean you
actually got married, so it was quite a different kind
of relationship.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Yeah. Yeah, I ended up marrying half and I still think,
like all those women, how did I end up being
the one married to him? But but I was, and
it was an interesting experience, and now that I've had
more time to reflect on it, it was a bit traumatic.
So I think writing this book has helped me process
all of that.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And you had to share half with other bodies as well,
which would have been I watched because I watched the
documentary and I thought, wow, it's like it was, it's
like a cult.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, yeah, I think once I realized, like, oh, half
wants multiple people, like in the bedroom. This man can't
really love me, So yeah, I don't. I think he
loved me maybe the best way he knew how.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
But yeah, it was odd because the image we have
of Hugh Heiffna for a number of years was that
he you know, he was kind of benign and and
in a way a harmless presence. But there was a
darkness to it too, wasn't there.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah? Absolutely, And now I think we have terms that
we didn't have back then, or I didn't have back then.
And you know, hef was a narcissist and I didn't know.
I thought that was just his personality, but now I know,
like the signs and like, oh he was just very narcissistic.
And I had to just be a mirror reflecting his
self importance back at him at all times, and it
(02:16):
was hard, and I think in some ways he didn't
even realize the damage he did to people and.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
In the prism of these times now when we look
back on it and yourself, because you defended you for many,
many years, but now you're thinking, well, hang on, what
went on wasn't right?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah? Absolutely, I did defend him for so long, and
he did make me promise him that I would only
say good things about him after he passed away, and
you know that's why the book is called only say
good things. But after reflecting and you know me too.
Happened a month after he passed away. So while I
was there, the media really put him on a pedestal.
(02:59):
And time was when I felt conflicted or my something
and my soul felt like things were off. I'm like,
maybe something's just wrong with me because the media put
him on such a pedestal and like it. You know,
it was such just a different time and things have
changed now and now I realized, you know, my body
was speaking to me and things things weren't right.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
So what sort of damage did you come away with?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Oh? My goodness. I remember at first my friends tried
to set me up with a matchmaker, like a matchmaking
company to date and the company asked me like, what
do you like? And it's such a simple question, and
I couldn't answer it because I'm like, what do I like?
I spent my fol like I spent an entire decade
just people pleasing and being what someone else wanted of me,
(03:44):
Like what do I like? So it took a while
to figure that out, and I ended up in more
relationships that were controlling and manipulative. And yeah, it took
me a while to really have self confidence and know
my worth and respect myself enough to not put up
with anything less than nurturing. So it's been a process.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
What would you say to your younger self or younger women,
What would you go back in time and say to
yourself as you were about to embark on all of that.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I just I just wish that I had more that
I that I realized my power. Back then, I didn't
realize that I had power. I just kept myself small
and malleable, And I wish I just had respected myself more.
But when you're young, you're impressionable, and especially when you
come from hard childhood, which makes it a little tougher
(04:36):
and you.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
In watching the documentary, he seemed to pray on that
a bit as well. He get the vulnerable types like
yourself and he would pray on that.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Absolutely. I remember his secretary saying, you know, he takes
in the ones with the broken wings. And I didn't
think much of it at the time, but thinking back
and like, oh, that's true. You know a lot of
the women that were there, they come from hard, broken childhoods.
And if there were women there that really respected themselves
and had the confidence that they wouldn't last. So yeah, yeah, true.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
And how do you feel now? How are you now?
You're in a good place now?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, finally, finally I have like actual freedom, and I've
been traveling a lot, and i bought a farm in Hawaii,
so I've been spending a lot of time in nature
and just just finding myself.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
What do you grow on the farm?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I have a light chief.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Yeah, a hundred one hundred light cheese.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
That's a lot of.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
It's a tree, a light tree.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I love light cheese.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Do they go on a tree? Yeah? Are they what
are they worth? They? Are they good to to say?
Like they like avocados for example, Like avocados. You know
you make some money at avocados. Is there much money
in the lichi game?
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Yeah? I think I sell them for like four or
six dollars a pounds business to local farmers' markets.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Yeah, it's lovely.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
This is going to grow light light, chill the.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Crystal. I'm always trying to get on the ground floor
of something, okay, and I think maybe the lightchi maybe
we're I know you're already there, like you're already.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
May take Crystal share of the like now.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I'm just saying maybe that maybe I'm always looking for
a new hustle. Maybe there could be something.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It's all about the hustle.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
That's all about the hustle, which was another magazine for
another time. Yeah, Crystal, it's great to talk to you.
I'm so happy that you're doing well. Only Say Good
Things is in all good bookstores near you right now.
Crystal Heffner, thank you for joining us, Thank you for
having me. Are you one nice to meet you.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Thank you very much, Thank you, Bye bye,
Jersey and Amanda jam Nation. You may know our next
guest as the widow of Hugh Hefner, but she's also
a model and entrepreneur and a mental health advocate. Krystal
Hefner's new book, Only Say Good Things takes you through
her stolen youth and the journey she's been through to
get it all back.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Crystal High, Hi, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
How did you come to be part of the Playboy Mansion?
How did all this come about?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I submitted a photo to go to a party at
the Playboy Mansion. A friend suggested that I submit a
photo to go, and I didn't think I'd ever get picked,
but I did, and up I went to a Halloween
party in two thousand and eight.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Wow, and so many girls have been through the Mansion.
What was it about you and hef I mean you
actually got married, so it was quite a different kind
of relationship.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Yeah. Yeah, I ended up marrying half and I still think,
like all those women, how did I end up being
the one married to him? But but I was, and
it was an interesting experience, and now that I've had
more time to reflect on it, it was a bit traumatic.
So I think writing this book has helped me process
all of that.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And you had to share half with other bodies as well,
which would have been I watched because I watched the
documentary and I thought, wow, it's like it was, it's
like a cult.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, yeah, I think once I realized, like, oh, half
wants multiple people, like in the bedroom. This man can't
really love me, So yeah, I don't. I think he
loved me maybe the best way he knew how.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
But yeah, it was odd because the image we have
of Hugh Heiffna for a number of years was that
he you know, he was kind of benign and and
in a way a harmless presence. But there was a
darkness to it too, wasn't there.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah? Absolutely, And now I think we have terms that
we didn't have back then, or I didn't have back then.
And you know, hef was a narcissist and I didn't know.
I thought that was just his personality, but now I know,
like the signs and like, oh he was just very narcissistic.
And I had to just be a mirror reflecting his
self importance back at him at all times, and it
(02:16):
was hard, and I think in some ways he didn't
even realize the damage he did to people and.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
In the prism of these times now when we look
back on it and yourself, because you defended you for many,
many years, but now you're thinking, well, hang on, what
went on wasn't right?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah? Absolutely, I did defend him for so long, and
he did make me promise him that I would only
say good things about him after he passed away, and
you know that's why the book is called only say
good things. But after reflecting and you know me too.
Happened a month after he passed away. So while I
was there, the media really put him on a pedestal.
(02:59):
And time was when I felt conflicted or my something
and my soul felt like things were off. I'm like,
maybe something's just wrong with me because the media put
him on such a pedestal and like it. You know,
it was such just a different time and things have
changed now and now I realized, you know, my body
was speaking to me and things things weren't right.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
So what sort of damage did you come away with?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Oh? My goodness. I remember at first my friends tried
to set me up with a matchmaker, like a matchmaking
company to date and the company asked me like, what
do you like? And it's such a simple question, and
I couldn't answer it because I'm like, what do I like?
I spent my fol like I spent an entire decade
just people pleasing and being what someone else wanted of me,
(03:44):
Like what do I like? So it took a while
to figure that out, and I ended up in more
relationships that were controlling and manipulative. And yeah, it took
me a while to really have self confidence and know
my worth and respect myself enough to not put up
with anything less than nurturing. So it's been a process.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
What would you say to your younger self or younger women,
What would you go back in time and say to
yourself as you were about to embark on all of that.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I just I just wish that I had more that
I that I realized my power. Back then, I didn't
realize that I had power. I just kept myself small
and malleable, And I wish I just had respected myself more.
But when you're young, you're impressionable, and especially when you
come from hard childhood, which makes it a little tougher
(04:36):
and you.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
In watching the documentary, he seemed to pray on that
a bit as well. He get the vulnerable types like
yourself and he would pray on that.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Absolutely. I remember his secretary saying, you know, he takes
in the ones with the broken wings. And I didn't
think much of it at the time, but thinking back
and like, oh, that's true. You know a lot of
the women that were there, they come from hard, broken childhoods.
And if there were women there that really respected themselves
and had the confidence that they wouldn't last. So yeah, yeah, true.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
And how do you feel now? How are you now?
You're in a good place now?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, finally, finally I have like actual freedom, and I've
been traveling a lot, and i bought a farm in Hawaii,
so I've been spending a lot of time in nature
and just just finding myself.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
What do you grow on the farm?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I have a light chief.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Yeah, a hundred one hundred light cheese.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
That's a lot of.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
It's a tree, a light tree.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I love light cheese.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Do they go on a tree? Yeah? Are they what
are they worth? They? Are they good to to say?
Like they like avocados for example, Like avocados. You know
you make some money at avocados. Is there much money
in the lichi game?
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Yeah? I think I sell them for like four or
six dollars a pounds business to local farmers' markets.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Yeah, it's lovely.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
This is going to grow light light, chill the.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Crystal. I'm always trying to get on the ground floor
of something, okay, and I think maybe the lightchi maybe
we're I know you're already there, like you're already.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
May take Crystal share of the like now.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I'm just saying maybe that maybe I'm always looking for
a new hustle. Maybe there could be something.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It's all about the hustle.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
That's all about the hustle, which was another magazine for
another time. Yeah, Crystal, it's great to talk to you.
I'm so happy that you're doing well. Only Say Good
Things is in all good bookstores near you right now.
Crystal Heffner, thank you for joining us, Thank you for
having me. Are you one nice to meet you.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Thank you very much, Thank you, Bye bye,
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