Kiara's Friend is in a TOXIC Relationship

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Kiara, thanks for holding you on the air. What's
going on?

Speaker 2 (00:03):
So I need some advice because my friend, my best
friend at that, is in the most toxic relationship ever,
and like, I just don't know what to do anymore.
And it's like everyone sees that. I see that her
boyfriend is a walking red flag. He's manipulative, he's controlling.
He's like convinced her that I'm the problem, and it's

(00:23):
working because she's like distant now and I just I
don't understand.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
And he's telling her that I'm jealous and she's believing him,
and I've tried to reason with her and and everything,
and it's just I don't I really don't know what
to do.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
He's just showing all the red flags. I'm trying to
show her the red flags. I just I don't know
what to do. So I'm hoping you guys can give
me some advice.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Well my advice, would we just wait, let them get
hurt and then go see how about it's.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
That see your friends go through stuff like that, Like
when you talk to your friend and you're like, dude,
this guy is manipulative, he's controlling, and you're saying all
of these things. How does she respond? Does she get defensive?
She like, what's her vibe?

Speaker 2 (01:02):
She gets super defensive, and like, I know he's been
talking to her about me, because like last time I
said something to her, she said, like, I'm probably jealous
because I'm single and I don't have a boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Like, girl, what's the behavior that that is so red flaggy?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Well, first of all, every time, like we all go out,
I see him talking to other girls, Like he'll leave
her with me and like go and scout around the club,
or he'll like go and get other girls drinks, and
then like he'll barely even like be with us. And
I'm like, if this is what you're doing when we
are here, what are you doing when we're not around?
Like that's so weird.

Speaker 4 (01:39):
Right, here's my advice for you. This is what this
is what I would do, because I've had a handful
of friends that have been in those toxic relationships, right,
and you want to protect him. I had a friend
and she had dated this guy and he was the worst.
He was literally the worst, couldn't stand him. And then
I decided, after telling her for so many years, I
decided that I was gonna love him. When she loved him,
and I was gonna hate him when she hated him,

(02:00):
And eventually she left him, and we don't talk about him.
We don't hear about him anymore. And that was so
good for our relationship because it got to a point
where I would be on her case so much and
I would tell her all the time, and then she
didn't want to confine in me anymore. She didn't feel
like she could talk to her friend. So that's my advice.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
When you loved him, when she loved him, did you
also sleep with him?

Speaker 5 (02:16):
No, John Jay, understanding it was love from a distance, right,
It would hard to do that because when you're not
the one that actually loves them to put aside the
fact that they're a total jerk, that's.

Speaker 6 (02:26):
Really difficult to do. So I mean you're a good
friend for doing that. I would also just say, on
Peyton's tip, just you need to just always be there
to listen for her, like otherwise she is going to
push you away and then you're not going to have
any voice at all.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, I guess that's true.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
All right, Keren, good luck, Thanks for calling in.