All Episodes

December 7, 2023 75 mins
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, the world’s largest therapy platform. Visit http://BetterHelp.com/WhatsUnderneath today to get 10% off your first month. Schuyler Bailar, influential athlete, author, educator, and vocal LGBTQ+ advocate, shares his transformative journey. As the first publicly documented NCAA D1 transgender man to compete as a man in any sport, Schuyler's story is at the forefront of the debate on trans athletes in college sports. Assigned female at birth, Schuyler opens up about the internal struggle he faced in accepting his own boyhood, initially associating masculinity with harmful behaviors​​. He offers candid insight into the performance of masculinity, highlighting how many boys and men seek validation solely within the male gaze, rooted in a desperate need for belonging. A gifted swimmer, Schuyler's passion and talent have been constant through his journey of self-discovery. He provides an intimate look at locker room dynamics, offering a unique perspective on male bonding rituals and the quest for peer validation. His decision to join Harvard’s men's swim team, after being initially recruited for the women's team, was more than a sports headline. This choice was the first statement of his personal truth, and also marked a significant moment in sports history, challenging norms and sparking discussions on inclusivity in athletics.  Schuyler's story is a testament to the strength of character and authenticity, demonstrating how embracing one’s true identity can be a powerful tool for challenging and redefining societal norms. What’s Underneath: Masculinity is Man Enough’s series in partnership with StyleLikeU with new episodes every Thursday. Watch shorter video episodes: http://YouTube.com/StyleLikeU  Man Enough Podcast episodes will continue every Monday.  IN THIS EPISODE:  (05:08) Feeling like an other, sports as a “girl on a boy’s team” (07:16) First relationship to gender (10:00) Being perceived as a cis man and erasure of trans identity (21:19) Experiencing misogyny as a man vs woman; empathy for men (32:34) Swim team, mental health, eating disorder (35:13) Rehab, discovering trans identity (46:01) Top surgery (51:23) Joining Harvard men’s swim team vs women’s (54:01) Men’s locker rooms; calling men in (1:07:14) What does it mean to be “man enough”? SCHUYLER QUOTATIONS: “My takeaway is that if I can call somebody in…if I can get a moment where I can actually talk to somebody and connect about an experience, there's actually real change to be had." “In the locker room, I'd see somebody tell a joke and immediately scan the room to see who else is going to respond and to give them validation...Those dynamics were so striking to me because I hadn't interacted with them in the same way before, and I hadn't been expected to participate in them either...I think that was the most terrifying moment, when I realized I had a desire to engage in the behaviors, because I had spent so long thinking all these things were horrible…Do I engage so that I can belong or stand by my values and risk belonging?” FOLLOW SCHUYLER BAILAR:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pinkmantaray  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pinkmantaray  Site: https://www.pinkmantaray.com/  Book, HE/SHE/THEY: https://www.pinkmantaray.com/he-she-they  FOLLOW MAN ENOUGH:  Instagram: http://instagram.com/wearemanenough   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wearemanenough   Facebook: http://facebook.com/WeAreManEnough  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/wearemanenough  Newsletter: https://manenough.com/newsletter  FOLLOW STYLELIKEU:  Instagram: http://instagram.com/stylelikeu  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stylelikeu   Facebook: http://facebook.com/stylelikeu  YouTube: http://YouTube.com/StyleLikeU Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Mark as Played

Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.