#302: Pickleball Patty & The Playground Problem

302: The kids in Skeery's community were pushed out of summer sprinkler season for Pickleball mania; Brody encounters the dumbest girl on the planet while trying to let her know about her flat tire; A vegetarian ruined some of the country's best pizza; a bad commercial where a teenager fires the family housekeeper; Skeery recalls his tumultuous time taking Karate lessons when he was a kid

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start up, dot up, start Up, Brooklyn Boy, Start Up,
Brooklyn Boy, start up, dot up, dot up. They making
noise dot up, start up, dot up up, dot up,
dot up, Episode three oh two. It's the Brooklyn Boys
Podcast three oh two. You know, scary is a famous

(00:24):
engine for the Ford Mustang, the three oh two three two.
I believe three hundred and two horsepower no cubic inches.
Oh okay, why do you know these things? I don't know.
The three oh five is a Chevy engine. Three eighteen
is Chrysler three forty is Chrysler three fifty is right?
General Motors. Three oh two is also an area code.

(00:45):
I'm sure it is Harry code three o two. I'm
sure it is. Anyone listening from the three oh two.
Is that California?

Speaker 2 (00:52):
No?

Speaker 1 (00:52):
I think it's East Coast, do you? Yeah? Anyway? Is
that Delaware? I don't know anyway. So yeah, we're here.
We're back. This is cool if we made it. If
I remember correctly, it is Delaware. It is Delaware, right, yeah,
I believe. So. I didn't have to look that up either, No, no,
you didn't. It was very impressive. So, uh, here we are.

(01:17):
We got started a little late. Whose fault. Is that
my fault, and I'll just fault. I'll come to the
table right now before you do that. We were supposed
to do it early today because again I don't know
when you're listening to this, but as we're recording this, Uh, Scar,
can you read my shirt? See what my shirt says.
It says you should just be a Wolverine, Wolverine Wolverine

(01:38):
right because I'm going to see Dead Pull and Wolverine today.
You are. Yeah. I will not spoil anything with my
reviews online, but I am very excited. But it doesn't
come out till tomorrow. All movies, most big movies that
open on Friday actually open on Thursday. So you got
you got your tickets and you're ready. Yeah, I'm ax. Yeah,
I'm not into the Marvel world. You know what else?

(01:59):
Turned into? Any world? Anything, any movies or any TV shows.
I just any collectibles, any hobbies. You're not into anything
the comic strips, the comics from back in the day,
comic books, no hero action films. To watch The Bear
yet season three? No? I just finished Presumed Innocent on
Apple TV and you see that. Nope, No, you are

(02:21):
you watching Game of Throne? The answer is gonna be
no across the board, and you're right right, So for
you to go not really into Marvel films, you're not
really into anything except rooftop bars and DJs and bottle
service and that's fine, and pools and barbecues and filming
your food. Yes, but let's be real, you're not into
any like, you're not into cultural things. You're into culture,

(02:45):
not into like you know, so I'm not really to
Disney movies movies. I get that, not trying to. I
just I was never that guy. You know, there's a
there's a certain kind of person. You aren't even ever
a Star Wars guy like when you watch Yeah, I
did see the films. I just have them. That doesn't matter.
I I was never the dude who would be sitting

(03:06):
there like, yeah, I can't wait for the latest Spider
Man movie to come out. Yeah, I can't wait for
Batman like I never got right and drank. Oh, I
can't wait for that new rooftop bar opens. I got
tickets still opening night. But as far as being entrenched
into the culture of of anything, these no, but especially
these action movies. I mean I can't wait to watch Actually, Okay,

(03:27):
here's something I'm interested in, and I think it got
Wick watch John Wick Moore. I think it's release tonight now,
Dirty Pop the lou Pearlman story on Netflix or whateverever
it's gonna be. It's excited to watch the show about
a pedophile. No, because it's real life and this guy
was a real, filthy, fucking Wolverine's real. Yeah. Okay, see
what I'm saying. You're into the fantasy. You're into fantasy world.

(03:51):
I'm into real life biopics, lid. Why so so there's
Loup Pearlman thing. Obviously, you know it's when he you know,
the Backstreet Boys and sink and he found it all
those and then we have him on the show many
years ago. No, I remember, dude, all the things that
went on behind the scenes and all the tawdry, awful,
disgusting acts, it's all gonna be revealed in Dirty Pop.

(04:14):
And I want to be real but it's accurate. But
that's the stuff I'm interested in because it's interesting. But
you could be you could be interested in that and
other things. I'm interested in reality and loosely based reality.
I like comedy. I like things that make me laugh.
But but when was the less comedy movie you went to.
I don't even know. I don't like to go to
the movies because there's bed bugs in these movie theaters.
I know, beg bugs in the movie theaters, some of them.

(04:35):
Oh my god, I'm just saying, get out, go. Do
are bedbugs in movie theaters? Okay? And there's no okay, right,
there's bed there's no beds in the movie theaters. Doesn't matter.
People bring them in. People are filth okay, people are
America is dirty. Not the listeners who are listening to this.
But overall, right, that's why I go to movie theaters

(04:56):
with leather couch recliner seats. No bed bugs. Oh who's bougie? Now?
Bed bugs don't like leather couches. Oh yeah, my my
my dollar more for a ticket, dude. No, you can't
go to jankinny movie theaters with fabric seats that don't recline.
That's so nineteen nineties. You gotta go with the I went.
You know what I did. I went to see Twisters.

(05:20):
It's a Twister, which, yeah, so Twisters is basically an updated, modernized,
very much the same movie as Twisterwister. It's a twist
you've seen one, you see them all. But I had
I had some time to kill, so I went and
I was sitting in the leather recliner chair, and I
don't know, do you sit with your legs straight when
you sit in a recliner or do you sort of

(05:41):
like spread your knees out, spread my knees out. Yeah,
I need to spread knies out, So I'm spread minisa out. Man,
I spread a sudden I'm getting like, I'm getting hot
and sweaty, Like why am I hot and sweating a
movie theater? This is terrible? And I realized my knee
had hit the heat button. The seats have heaters and coolers,
and I hit the heat button and I'm burning my
ass watching Twisters. Although I did see two movies in

(06:03):
the past two weeks. I saw the movie Kill not
a comedy. Not a comedy. But but if you like
John Wick or Nobody, if you haven't seen the movie
Nobody with Bob Odenkirk, oh my god, it's one of
the best films I've seen in years. If you like
shoot him up, kill a thousand people and survive somehow
kind of movies like John Wick or Nobody, then go

(06:24):
see kill. It's an Indian film with subtitles. Every in
the movie is Indian. But the action, the choreography, the fighting,
the killing, the murdering, the slashing on a on a
train ride, fantastic like that kind of thing. See yeah again,
going back to for a second. Yes, it's just I

(06:46):
know that so many people that are like, oh, ge't Wade,
and they're jumping on it. They're chopping at the bit,
they're talking, they're online on the threads that it is,
discussing what is it? Which one is this? Wolverine versus
who or Deadpool and Wolverine, Deadpool, Wolverine, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine,
Ryan Reynolds Deadpool and a cast of hundreds of famous

(07:09):
people that are going to show up in the movie.
I get it. I get it. I suppose I don't know.
Just you have to understand the world of Marvel, the
DCE universe, I mean, sorry, the Marvel Universe, the MCU.
You have to have watched the low key TV series
to understand what's going on in previous Deadpool movies. But
it's worth it. It's it's this is a there's so

(07:29):
much importance on this movie. If you're into the Marvel movies.
It's not just a movie. It's I can't even I
gottat want to get into it. If you're not into Maorrrow,
you're gonna be like, O don't know, this is this podcast.
I just don't about Marvel stuff. All right, we're gonna
move on. We are we Why was the podcast late?
So the podcast was late because I was on the

(07:50):
phone with Verizon FiOS. Now, yeah, you texted me. You
were on the phone with food. No, I'm on the
phone with I wrote FiOS f I. Oh you said food.
You're exactly mean. I'll read you what you texted me.
Hold on, let me get you book. You said, yo,
on with food, need fifteen more minutes. Oh, then you

(08:11):
starkly wrote back tomorrow. Yeah, because I'm like, I know
you with food either you're eating or you're having a
problem with your food delivery. Oh no, because you food
deliver everything, and it's always a problem. The auto corrected
on with food. It auto incorrected no, on with FiOS.
Oh you wrote it food. You're a dick. No, you're
a dick. You wrote food. I didn't know that I

(08:31):
was on the phone, so I just like blindly wrote
the text and sent it anyway. Okay, so I got
home and the uh, the cable box in my bedroom.
The FiOS box wasn't working, so she was walking me
through it, and then before long find out we need
to replace the box. And then I started asking about
because I'm a tech guy, I want the fastest speech possible.

(08:54):
They're gonna replace both of my cable boxes and I'm
going to get a new router. Now here's the router.
Is the problem? Yeah, here's the reveal. Here's the reveal.
And this is for anyone who has FiOS that's listening
to the sound of my voice right now, do the math.
You are being ripped off. Here's why. In the olden days,

(09:16):
I'm assuming a few years ago, a couple about a
year ago, and before that, there was no option. If
you used the Verizon's router, which is what I did.
You paid. You're paying fifteen dollars a month for that router.
You're rating it. You're renting the router. You're renting it.

(09:38):
And by the way, it's an eternal rental no matter
how old the technology gets. On April seventh of twenty twenty,
during the pandemic, when I had nothing to do. I went
into a new deal with with Verizon and I bought
and I excuse me, I started renting that router. It
was the latest one at the time. Brody, I've been

(09:58):
paying fifteen dollars a month for that to rent that router.
And guess what a lot of you listening to me
are doing that right now not even realizing it. It
is now twenty twenty four July of twenty twenty four.
I have paid seven hundred and fifty dollars into this
router that's sitting in my closet. That's it's an eternal rental,

(10:23):
and if I don't say anything or do anything or
change anything, it's going to continue to fifteen fifteen fifteen
fifteen every month. So you have a solution. You could
have done so for a couple of thousand Hold on, wait, now,
a couple of thousand dollars in you could be like
eight years in on a router that that's probably irrelevant
and slower and probably pales in comparison to what they

(10:45):
have out there on the market. It is not worth
it to pay seven hundred twenty dollars seven fifty into
a router that's four years old. So there is a
there is a router that's on the market that she's
got the new Verizon one. It's a one time fee
of four hundred dollars as came out. Instead of having
two bands, it has three bands. So you get the
two point. You go, it's better, it's a better, it's

(11:06):
a better, it's it's higher, it's it's it's it's better,
it's fast, faster, it's better, just better. Its fine. So
for four hundred dollars, and of course it's over installments,
I'm gonna pay and I'm going to own the router
and guess what if I get a couple of years
out of it, it's paid itself off done. I'm telling
you it is absolutely an atrocity that this is going

(11:31):
on in the background. People you your slices, Yes, you've
got scambonied. Before you go further, before you tell you
go ahead, I slice if you got your shit set
up and a lot of people do the default like me,
And you've got your stuff set up by by bios
and it was a year ago maybe or even less

(11:51):
and more you're ninety nine chance you're you're renting the
router from them, paying fifteen dollars and you're paying into
it every month for no reason. You told them that,
You told them that. Okay, so now I'm gonna buy
the router out a brand new, one one time deal
and that's it. And now, and do you know how
many months you just paid four of your router? If

(12:13):
you were paying fifteen a month two and a half years, yeah,
well twenty six months roughly. Yeah, two years. So in
two years when your router is obsolete, it's not gonna
be absolute right. You'll have to keep it more than
two years for it to pay for itself. But in
two years when they have a new router, you're gonna
kill yourself that you can't. You can't get rid of
your router. You have to sell it. You have to

(12:33):
ask me to sell it for you. Because what you
should have done was going on Facebook Marketplace and bought
somebody else's brand new router and gotten it for one
hundred bucks. Because that's what I did. There's no way
you have the latest in technology, the brand new Horizon router.
Of course I do, of course, yes I do. Because
people quit, they quit either they got it from somebody

(12:56):
or they they quit their Hoverrizon sings and they have
a tech coming over it all everything. So they're not
going to install a router that I bought off a
Facebook marketplace, No shot. If it's a Verizon router, they will.
They don't know. They see the Verizon rold, You're like, oh,
I moved? Can you put it? There's nothing to install? Scary.
You plug it into the jack. You take the Ethernet cable,
you plug it in. What kind of installation you think
they do? You think they have a soldering iron and

(13:17):
a well, a blowtorch and and a big metal mask
over their face. They come over and they go, where's
your Ethernet port? Okay, yellow cable in back of the
think in all right, log on? Create a password? Is
the is the website changed? Password? Bye? Bye, thanks to
have a nice day. What do you mean by install
the router? No? But are you your own grandma? No,

(13:39):
they're they're giving me a new router and new equipment
and new and new uh new box cable boxes right
which they just plug in? No this, yeah, they plug
them in. No, because I think that the bedroom has
a bigger problem. I think there's a I think there's
a coaxial issue there. I do, I do. Are you
still using co axile cables? What else am I to use?

(14:01):
Nobody uses coax cables anymore. What am I supposed to
plug it into? Well, my my Verizon FiOS boxes are
are wireless. They run off the Wi Fi. Wait, the
cable boxes are wireless. Yeah, my files Mini is wireless.
All right? Where does it get its wall from the Internet,
from the router? From the router? Right? But wait, but

(14:23):
you need something going into the TV. Well, you need
coax coming out of the wall. Do you know I
have an Ethernet cable? Okay, an Ethernet cable, so you
can use the Ethernet m yep? Is that a better
quality than that coax? I don't know. It seems fine,
And I'm not renting my router. All right, I'm gonna

(14:45):
figure something out here. I'll tell you one better. I
don't know if I told this story yet. So when
we moved into the townhouse, the Wi Fi route, the
Wi Fi box wasn't getting the signal because they put
the the router in the garage, which is two levels
down real quick. So you have to get a repeater
so it repeats the signal and strengthens the signal. So

(15:07):
I called for Ese and they go, it's ninety dollars.
What you it's ninety dollars. You could rent it for
fifteen a month whatever, whatever the scam is. Whatever it was.
So I said, well, but it's not working. Your system
doesn't work here without the repeater. Well, we'll send a
tech out. I said, all right, So tech Coms goes, yeah,
you need a repeater here. You go, okay, thanks. Yeah,
so I'd have to pay the fee because the tech

(15:29):
was like, yeah, it's not working or is your repeater? Okay,
but if you have them on the phone for the repeater,
they want to charge you. It was maybe it's one
hundred ninety something like that. You gotta be smart, scary,
you gotta be smart. No one well know that you
have not. They're gonna get new cable boxes. We've already
established you don't watch any television of movies. So what's
the point of it just to watch Luke Pelman rape

(15:52):
them and sink kids? Oh god, it's the podcast. I
hate it when you put things into perspective that way. Well,
that's what you want to see, right, You want to
see J. C. Chase earning his spot and in sync
lance bass I don't even know what, I would just
calling these names out. We don't know. All this stuff

(16:13):
is alleged. We don't know what's going on. I was
alleged alleged, but watch the movie. Yeah, I mean it's alleged,
like you know, Lion's Main mushrooms allegedly allegedly. So, speaking
of which, our friend t White, the guy who bought
your thirty three million dollar sound system, Yeah, what about it?
He sent us both a picture of sixteen dollars and
ninety nine cent Lions main mushroom pills that he found

(16:36):
in the drug store. Oh nice, is he gonna take you?
Whuch did you pay for yours? I got mine from
from London, from overseas. Oh you had to get the
imported mushrooms? No, yeah, but no, but mine. I did
a Google search on them and I did, you know,
did vetted them through several I went to Reddit, I
spoke to you know a lot of people, and they

(16:57):
recommended this specific version, this specific used these London memory pills.
Are you driving on the wrong side of the road?
What are you doing? Yeah? How is it? Has it
affected you now? These four or five episodes later? How
you feeling? I feel great? How many days a week.
Do you remember to take them every day? I take them
every day. Yes. In fact, well you just reminded me
to take them for today. I haven't taken them yet,

(17:18):
but I know we got wall Wait wait, whoa, whoa, whoa?
Hold on a second, Hold on a second. You need
someone to remind you to take memory pills. They're not working?
But no, no, no, no, you misunderstanding where I'm coming from.
If you're forgetting to take your memory pills, they're not
working by definition. I put a reminder in my phone,

(17:41):
and my phone reminds me there what any memory pills
for your phone has does more than just memory? Yeah,
it cognitive repair. It prevents dementia and Alzheimer's maybe allegedly
it may or may not, we don't know. Hey, listen,
you're gonna go from laughing to crying in another second

(18:04):
because I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna show you something
right now. Okay, this is what happens. This is disgusting,
and we're gonna shout it out because we're we always
come back to pizza, don't we on this podcast. So
my boy Jetski Brian is hanging out with his girl
and they're on their way up Jukie, Susie. They're on there.
They're on their way up to Newport, Rhode Island. Oh

(18:29):
love Newport Road. So where would you, David Brody, logically
stop for lunch on your way driving up ninety five
to Newport, Rhode Island. I might stop in New Haven
for some second best pizza. Ding ding ding ding ding,
you would, right. So So they they left this morning
and they here. They aren't lunchtime. This was just sent

(18:50):
to me about a half hour ago. They ended up
at I told him to go to one of the
three big ones, either Sally's Modern or Pie. So here
they are sitting in Modern Pizza Modern in New Haven,
which we know is some of this country's best pizza.
Chicken French fries. No, no, he's a purist. She's a vegetarian.

(19:16):
Look what she did to this fucking pizza. I'm showing
the picture, the picture of she got three quarters of
the pizza. Well, he said half. They fucked them, So
they fucked him. They gave him two slices. He's so
angry right now. He goes sky he goes, you send
me to Modern Pizza, he goes. It's like a pack

(19:38):
man of vegetables. He goes my side of the little
triangle because my side of my side of the pizza
is banging her side. And guys, you know, it's it's garden.
It's it's Brodie's worst nightmare, throwing up, threw up on
a pizza. It's got look, I'm zooming in. It's got broccoli,
it's got mushrooms, it's got olives, it's got onions, it's

(20:00):
got peppers, it's got hold on. I may even have
some dill on there too. But the best part is
he orners half half and somehow somebody's not even close
to half. Dude, it's like three three quarters. It's a
showing that eighty five percent of people eat vegetables and
fifteen percent don't. Dude, Wow, you're a vegetarian. What the

(20:23):
fuck you have to add vegetables to it? You U
still eat cheese and sauce and dough. What the hell
you don't do that? You don't ruin a masterpiece. I
said you need a do over, buddy. You can't sit
there at modern pizza eating stuff with a garden on it. Now, listen,
I'm a vegetable. He got two slices at best, right there.

(20:44):
I'm a vegetable guy. I love vegeta going back, you know,
if that's me, it's going back, of course it is.
But I'm a you know, I would love I love vegetables,
but I like vegetables by themselves. I don't want to
awe my fucking pizza. Vegetables have no place on pizza. Well,
my wife will sometimes order a mushroom peezza or half mushroom,
but then I have to like make sure that the
mushrooms stay on her half. Maybe our pizza if I

(21:06):
were no never, but if our pizza came back three
quarters mushroom and two slices like that, it's going back.
Or they're bringing me a plane one well probably with sausage.
They're bringing me a pizza for me. And by the way,
I had a free pizza last night. How'd you get that? Well? So, uh,
I moved from one town to another town. Right when

(21:30):
we sold our house, we moved. So the town in
between my old town and my new town has a
pizza place and we get a packet back in May.
That says, so, welcome to the neighborhood. Packet. So, like,
here's some coupons for your new dry cleaner. Here's some
coupons for your new dentist. In other words, in case

(21:52):
you moved from another state or really far away, welcome
to the area. Here's you know, a discount on Indian food.
Like they want you to. They want to become their
your new places, right, So I got a coupon for
a free specialty pizza from this pizza place in the
town between the two towns I moved from two, so

(22:12):
I've gone there before. I'm not really new to the area.
So in other words, I moved from town C to
Town A, and this pizza place is in town B
smack in the middle. Welcome to the neighborhood. Come get
a free twenty five dollar pizza. So last night I
got a free sausage of meatball pizza. Welcome to the

(22:33):
town I've lived next to for twenty five years. But
thank you. But there was some movement there and they
saw that and they recognized it. Well. They gotta whoever
sinds out the mailers for Welcome to the neighborhood saw
there was a new person living in the town. But
it doesn't ever tell them where I came from. I
came from right overn are over there I went from

(22:55):
your left arm to your right off. Okay, tick my
free pizza please, And I'm gonna get some free dry cleaning.
I'm gonna get a discount of my my, my, my
dog appointment for grooming, a free bath for the dog, like,
no problem, free bath. Welcome to the neighborhood. I didn't
change area codes. I just changed zip codes from I

(23:17):
moved to towns basically, so thank you, thank you. You
got free gym, free gym membership. Wow. So this is
all from move. Maybe I should move. Maybe I'll get
some free shit or just like rented apartment for a month,
uh huh, and then wait till the package shows up.
Welcome to the town. Yeah, but the way you pay

(23:39):
rent it probably be more than the coupons you need
to move. By the way, I know, I know, I'm sedentary.
I don't know why I sit here, but I'll figure
out something. Here he is broadcasting live from his kitchen,
living room, combo kitchen. It's exactly what it is is
a net behind him. It's his kitchen, it's kitchen room.
Let's say he's gotta He's got the diningom table right

(24:01):
behind his microphone, where the pile of papers is shorter,
shorter pile. Yeah, and and for years I'm telling them, dude,
you got it. You gotta get a pick up place,
he said, dam I'm happy here. Now he's gonna tell
me I can't move, bro, I just got new files boxes.
I can't move to get I have to the guy

(24:21):
to install it in my next place. No, you'll have
to have the guy uninstall it in this place and
then move it to your new place and reinstall it.
It's not a satellite dish. It's a fucking plugin ball.
You work at a radio stack. He's a good guy.
You have to install it. I will watch, you know what,
I will be watching some things. I'll be watching the Olympics.
Are you excited for the Olympics. The Olympics start tomorrow

(24:44):
tomorrow afternoon. Yeah, tomorrow tomorrow, the opening ceremonies tomorrow night.
Summer Olympics. You see what they cited. The Mets are
playing the Braves, battling for second place. But yeah, oh,
by the way, did you see the Yankee fans. Mets
swept the Yankees four games this year. That's right, all
your Yankee fans out there. The Mets take the season series.
The Subway Series four games to none. We're still way

(25:04):
behind the Phillies for all you Philly fans out there,
way behind. But while card race and we have Garrett
Cole's number, don't we? Oh yeah, yeah, thank you. Welcome
to the Grimace era and uh are you? Are you
excited by the way? I went on the radio this morning,
yesterday and today in a row and I just went
off on Yankee fans and I really stuck it to them.

(25:29):
I really did about about the Mets clobbering the Yankees.
It's nice to do on the radio where no one
can reach your neck, Isn't that great? They added a sports,
a couple of sports to the Olympic roster for summer.
One of them would be, yeah, the very curious breakdancing.
Are you exciting? That's a death No, that's not real.

(25:50):
I mean, I know it's real, but that's not a sport.
Are you excited on breakdancing? Remember back in the day breakdancing? Yeah,
cardboard box on the ground break dancing? Yeah, of course?
How great was with that?

Speaker 3 (26:02):
You know?

Speaker 1 (26:02):
I attempted the worm on the Big Show the other day.
I saw that that was not a worm. Didn't go
over very well, it was more like an arc. Someone
called it the uh, the the pirate ship, the buccaneer
at Disney World back and for whatever reason, I got
no leverage and I didn't have any movement on my worm.
But anyway, now, had you tried it on your back,

(26:23):
I have a good feeling you would have been able
to accomplish it s your own deep practice. Oh yeah, sure?
Can you do the spinner? Is the upside down turtleshell
spin whatever you call that? No? And I can't do
the helicopter or the scissor kick or whatever, the pop
and lock? No, the change? What was was this one?
The chain link fence or that? That's the wave? The

(26:43):
wave wave, I think that's the way, the inflatable wiggle
Blackie wave filling food too. You don't need to call
it exactly what family guy called it, just the waving
guy by that. Are you you are excited for the Olympics?
Are you're not? Really? Yeah, there's certain I loved it.
Watching gymnastics, track and field is fun. I don't want
to know why. You don't want to know why? Why

(27:06):
why you like watching gymnastics? Because my kids did gymnastics.
They got me into the all right, I don't like gymnastics.
I don't like watching it. What you thought there was
some No, I'm just like watching the Man in tight pants.
I'm just saying I don't like I don't like gymnastics.
I don't like watch I understand the scoring and the
art of it and the difficulty of it. More so
having watched my my kids do gymnastics for so many years,

(27:30):
and I would watch with them, and they have favorites,
and so it got me into the sport more. I
know that's one of the big ones, though. I mean,
I'm really I'm really crushing. Oh, it's probably the it's
probably the biggest. I mean, tennis is big. I think
they're playing They're playing baseball or softball this year. I
don't remember. I'll know by the time you hear this,
but I know they were bringing it back for one
of them and Lena Lebron James is carrying what is
he carrying the torch in there, and Snoop apparently is

(27:52):
screing the torch, which you know is going to be
a giant spliff. Of course it is. You know he's
gonna be smoking from the torch or smoking the actual torch. Yeah, yeah,
all right, basketball will totally dominate and if we don't,
they're like, that's that'll be that's sad, Yeah, that would
be all right. We're taking commercial for the Olympics. You
go Team USA. Yeah, and Brody before we go further, well, bump,

(28:19):
we we have just a couple of days left. Now
we've put an extension. Oh, we did put an extension
on our on our merch our Brooklyn Boys Limited Edition
Commemorative three hundredth episode merch. You can get it in
the form of a T shirt, a hoodie or tank
Ladies tank tops. Well, something happened yesterday because you and
I both posted and then Mert match Matt Mert Merch. Yeah,

(28:44):
Matt Merch emailed us and said that sales went through
the roof yesterday and we should extend it because apparently
people are catching on late. Right, So we're like, all right, well,
we don't want to end it if people are like
suddenly start buying it. So I think people are an
episode behind, yeah, and I think when they saw a
post they woul they went and started buying stuff. So
what are week stending to the thirty first right? Well,
the sir, the merch of the shirt and whatever you

(29:06):
want in whatever form you want to get it in
will be available while supplies last, but the actual live
or the autograph signing from from Brody and I will
will be only through July. Brodian Mate will be July
thirty first at midnight, So you must place your order

(29:26):
by July thirty first at midnight on those on the
merch and we will gladly sign the merch if you'd like,
if you put it on I'd like to correct scary.
July thirty first at midnight is either the first thing
in the morning on July thirty four, August first at twelve,
So July thirty first, when it becomes August first, you're done.

(29:48):
You're done. So before July thirty first ends, Yeah, you
have to buy the merchandise, yes, and then that this
Coast baby, and then after that we'll just go back
to whatever shirt you're left. You can still buy them,
but they won't necessarily be signed. So yeah, make sure
you get those in there. And then also if you
want to buy the things that if you want to

(30:09):
buy other during this period of time, if you buy
other things, other items in the merch store, you put
a request in there. We'll sign that to everything up
till July thirty. First, that what we said. Yeah, okay,
have you guys noticed slices that there's been a bit
of an Instagram battle between me and Scary on posting
for the shirts, because I, you know, I post everything

(30:29):
and always put I tagged me and I tag him
below it. So Scary posted the shirts and he wrote
Scary and Brody in white ink on all of the shirts.
So so Brody couldn't put his name ahead of mine, right,
So here's what I did. I found us this is
my music for my post.

Speaker 3 (30:52):
A.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Yeah, that's my music now for my posts for the
Brooklyn Boys merchandise. That's all. You put your last name
in the music. There's a it's there's a guy called
your last name in song or something like that. And
if you have a relatively decent, relatively popular last name,
there's a song with your last name in it. Great.
I can't imagine he did Jones. That's not very poppy. No,

(31:14):
there's a Brody song. So I was like, oh, Brodie's
now my song for posting these Brooklyn Boys shirts. That's awesome.
That's awesome. Appreciate you Brooklyn Boys dot bigcartel dot com.
That's Brooklyn Boys dot Bigcartel dot com. By the way,
everybody says it when I say it. I'm sure they
say it along with me, but probably nobody says it
along with you because they don't know what's coming exactly.

(31:35):
So I appreciate it. Oh, I was just gonna say something.
I don't know what it was. Well, you have a
whole list of things that you wanted to say. Yeah,
I know, but I was about to interrupt you like
I always do. We interrupted for this.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
Joke.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
I did tease I would tell you about one of
the dumbest people I've ever met, which I'm still gonna do.
But I wanted to talk about pickleball, Patty, if I
have a moment to have a moment. Of course, as
you know, I have been play playing pickleball a lot,
and I've gotten quite good at it. My ranking has
gone up twice since I started about a month ago,
and I'm still getting people saying, wow, how long you've

(32:09):
been playing? I go, like three and a half weeks,
what I've been playing two years. You're better than me.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
You know.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
It is what it is. So when you play open play,
it means whoever signs up. Usually it's four people per court.
Let's say there's sixteen people. There's four people on a court,
and then you play to eleven and then the winning
team splits and stays there and the losing two people
walk off to another court to go play the winners
of another and you also split up, so you don't

(32:36):
play at the same person more than once. So we
lost a match and we move over to court whatever
for another court, and we're playing with two people I've
never met before because I don't normally play on Sunday mornings.
And one of the women is a very mean looking
woman with glasses. Very mean looking. Okay, I'll refer her
as pickleball Patty for the rest of this story. I

(32:58):
don't care what her real name is, but she's pickled. Now,
when you play pick a ball, there the woofle balls right,
roughly the balls would plastic holes in it. They look
like what are those shoes? The crocks the crocks, but
balls right, And so usually when you when you go
on the court, the place you play at gives you
like a dozen balls to play with, like six to

(33:18):
eight balls, and they give you a little a little
gray basket and they leave it on the bench on
the side where you sit down, right on the side
of your court. Sure, and then it's usually balls on
the court, so like you know, if you need some,
they're behind you. Like we didn't get those, they're still
they're all laying all over the place. Now, the distance
between the court and the wall is like, no know,
eight ten feet. You're not going to run into the wall.

(33:39):
So if a ball goes past you and it's not
your serve, you're like that, fuck it, I'll leave it
there against the wall. I get it later if I
need it. And when it's your turn to serve, either
the other team throws you the ball because they happen
to have it, or you pick up one from behind you.
Sure that makes sense, right of course. So pickleball Patty
decides she hates having any ball on the floor near her.

(34:00):
She might step on them, even if they're ten feet
behind her. So she picks up all the balls on
her side and walks over to the bench on the
side and puts all the balls in the basket. And
my partner and I had whatever three or four balls
are on our side. So every time we serve and
they miss it or they hit it to us and
we miss it, and it's hard turn to serve right

(34:22):
she doesn't have a ball oh, and stands there and
gives us a dirty look like, hey, can you go
get a ball on your side and throw it over
you ah. So the first two times I was like,
all right, here, take the balls from us, sore you go,
And every time they it would end up on her side.
She would pick it up and walk over to the
basket and put it in the basket. So at some
point we had one ball on the court, and eventually

(34:44):
she didn't want to walk over to the basket. She's
staring at me like, can you walk over and get
a ball? It's your turn to walk over. So I said, hey, hey,
you keep putting them in the basket, go get a ball.
She it's your turn. I got the last two. They
go listen, you're the one putting them in the basket.
Everybody else leaves them on the floor, so they're easily
grab a ball. I'm not getting it on the pickle

(35:06):
ball court. No, So my teammate, she says, I'll go
get one.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
I go.

Speaker 1 (35:10):
You will not you will, you will stand right there
and I made pick a ball Patty, go get the ball.
Fuck pick a ball, Patty. I'm gonna play pickle ball.
You leave the balls on the court and if we
need one, they're there. She's like, I'm afraid I'm gonna
step on them. You're gonna run back ten feet and
step on one like six inch wide ball. Every time

(35:30):
she's obviously she's got something. Yeah, you'll have to excuse her.
You know what, she doesn't have a fucking pickleball a
pick up. Every time I got it, See, I have
to walk over to the corner over there by the
defence and get a ball and throw it to heart. Yeah,
because she's, oh, I can't have any balls on the floor.
I can't. She hates balls. That's all you need to know.
Is scary, all right, she hates balls. I can fill

(35:54):
in the rest with my imagination. Pickle ball, Patty, and
more importantly, don't play with pickleball, Patty. I played pickleball
a couple of years ago when it was really, you know,
on the move in in South Florida. It was pickleball
was on the move. Well, pickleball started, I believe in Florida,
somewhere on the west coast of Florida, It started in uh,

(36:15):
the Pacific Northwest, Oh did really well. It picked up Steam, Washington,
State of Portland, in those in those communities and people
were playing pickleball for years down there before they made
its way up here to the northeast. So I I
gotta you know they have did. The court's ready to go.
It's I like it. I like it because you feel
out much again, Yeah, you feel after you feel like

(36:38):
you're doing something. You know. It's not quite tennis, It's
it's a it's a miniature version of tennis. If you
don't know what ping pong. It's a large version of
ping pong, but a minia version of tennis. It's like
paddle tennis. When when you were a kid of camp, like,
did you play paddle tennis, which is like racketballs and
tennis balls on a smaller court. Yeah? No, no I
did not. All right, well, I feel like it's appropriate

(37:01):
for people our age, right, I gotta be honest with you.
I play with women in their let's say forty to sixty,
well forty to their sixties, and I'm running around, I'm jumping, leaping, slamming,
I'm hitting the ball home. You're gonna break a sweat.
Oh no, no, I'm breaking a sweat. I'm worried I'm
gonna break something. Right, the instructor is like, calm down.

(37:22):
I don't want to have to. You know you're gonna
be bleeding soon because I'm like lunging for shit. But
here's the thing, I'm pretty decent. For as long as
I've been playing. There are women in their sixties scary.
They're not exerting as much effort as I am, and
they're as good, if not much better than me, because
they know how to angle the ball and spin the
ball and return low, low hits and they're not moving

(37:43):
a lot and they don't have to, but they're very good.
So all my athleticism and slamming and smashing and pick
a ball players, if you're listening, you know that you
don't you don't. You shouldn't be slamming every time somebody
do a drop shot or a dink. This skill to
when you hit hard, when you lob it. So I've
gotten really good at longbing it over their heads because
they're not fast and they can't get back quickly. So

(38:04):
when they when they come in, not all the way,
but if they come in most of the way towards
the kitchen. Yep, oh the way. Yes, I just loop
it over the heads and lands in the back of
the court, so I get some looks. Boy, the ladies
give me the looks. Oh yeah, Leah, like, oh what
you think you're missed the man? You're gonna loop over
my head and then they destroy me. You feel bad?
Do you feel guilty when you're playing women? You're like, ah,

(38:26):
I'm you know, you're off for blood that kind of thing. Oh,
I'll tell you what. I played a woman. Uh, it
was two. I played two. It was two women and
and me and another woman. So three win in me
and one of the women had a knee brace on
like not like a like a cast. I would feel bad.
I wouldn't want to try and defeat them. I'm like,
oh my god, And I know this is sounding it
just sounds weird, right, but but I just feel like

(38:46):
I showed. At one point, my teammates slammed the ball
at her feet and she couldn't get it, and she
looked at me. She went, I feel really bad about that.
I said, why, we're up seven to four. There's nothing
to feel bad about. Like you're there had a win
like one girl said to me. She goes, well, uh oh,
I hit a serve and it was in like it was.
It was past the kitchen, so you have to hit
it past the blue area, right. And so the earlier

(39:08):
in the game, I hit a ball and it was
on the line of the kitchen, like the area right
over the net. So the guy was like, that landed
in the kitchen. Bad serve. So to me it looked
like it didn't. But I was like, I'm not gonna
argue with you, okay, fine. About five or ten minutes later,
I hit a ball that was easily a foot past
the kitchen. Beautiful serve. He couldn't get in fast enough.
I aced him. He goes, I was in the kitchen.

(39:31):
I go, what it was a foot? What are you
talking about? It was that it was perfect, It was perfect.
He's like, no, I was in the kitchen. So my
teammate goes, I don't argue, just it's not it doesn't
matter who wins. What are we doing here? What do
you mean it doesn't matter who wins. You would think
I showed up for the for the for the love
of the game. I want to win. I just want

(39:51):
to win. My mo would be. I just want exercise.
I don't care if I win. Well, when is that
ever your M? Well, it would be my m because
I like there were only why I'm getting on that
goddamn court is is so I can move my body
and get some exercise. Listen, the exercise spot's good. I'm
sweating like crazy, that sweat bands on. I'm wiping my
face with my shirt. We got getting exercise. We got

(40:12):
a problem right below where I am right now, like
literally twenty twenty something floors below where I am right now,
there is controversy on the because they installed these pickleball courts,
and they did this last summer. Coming over, there's three
pickleball courts. But in order to make a building, Yeah,
they belong to my building. You and I should play.

(40:35):
You can get exercise. I demolish you. Let's play, but
let's play. We should film it. Here's the problem. Yeah,
this is now the second year in a row that
that space is for pickleball. In the winter time, it's
an ice skating rink. But in the in the summertime,
they how do they do They bring in They bring

(40:55):
in the ice. They make it an outdoor. It's one
of the out only use. They take up the boards
of the well. It's not a clay court, and they
pick the well. No, they put stuff over it. They
put ice on it. Anyway, So in years past and forever,
in the summer that was a huge three drain sprinkler

(41:20):
system for the kids with these elephants, these these stone
elephants and the and the and the uh, the water
would come out of the trunks, right yeah, and the
kids would play there. And then last year in the
in the spring, as soon as they put the ice
away from the ice skating rink, they're like, we're gonna
go into a transition period here and we're just gonna

(41:41):
put down these these pickleball courts temporarily. Anyway, it became
wildly popular day and night, night and day. Right, they
did nobody. They just pushed the sprinkles systems aside. They
never installed the sprinkless systems, and all summer the kids,
the poor kids of this community went without the sprinklers

(42:04):
because they had to have three pickleball games going on
down there. So people were furious by the midsummer, They're like,
what are you gonna pick up the pickle ball courts
and put the elephants back and open up the sprinklers
like never so co so, like maybe next season, because
they were gonna do like an alternate, like they were
gonna go one season pickleball, one season. Well guess what

(42:28):
this last summer came and went, winter came, Winter came,
and then they put the ice down, ice skating rink,
ice skating rink ended. They painted on the pickleball courts again.
Fuck the kids, Fuck the sprinklers. This is down season,
season two of pickleball with no sprinklers for the kids.

(42:50):
And I'm actually siding on the on, you know, with
the families with the kids because mich well, why don't
they put up a sign that says we will have
sprinklers for the kids on all days it rains. No,
because it's just not that easy. You took a minute.
I took a second. You know something, I don't care. Hey,
wait a minute, I figured that out. Yeah. I feel

(43:12):
bad for these families because there's no like water source
anywhere in that area. There's no where for the kids
to go. Oh, they have the Hudson River right there, Yeah,
jump right in, have a take a dip. Well, can't
they get my hoose or something they can sprinkle. I mean,
I feel bad for the kids. Don't get me wrong,
but pickle ball is the upcoming sport in the country.
Well that's exactly. It bigger an Olympic event. Yet it's

(43:35):
pickleball in the Olympics because it's not. It will be.
I don't think it is. It will be soon. But
isn't that awful? Like all all the adults of the
community like dominate. They're like, yeah, and now it's pickleball
mania downstairs. All they do do day and night, night
and day. Those courts. I don't even know if we
get a court because they're always full, even in the morning. Well,
you're scary Jones. You can't pull rank. I don't know

(43:57):
how it even works to sign up, but can you imagine?
I just I just think it sucks because now two
years in a row, these poor kids were shut out.
At some point they'll forget. No, these families are protesting.
The big fight's going on. They want them, they're angry,
like they want their sprinklers back. Well, can't they do

(44:18):
three pickle ball courts and make the fourth area a sprinkler.
It's not large enough. No, fucked, Well, maybe they got
to just take up to amusement park, take them to
a water park. Yeah, I feel bad, but pick a
ball is a support of the future. Yeah, here we go,
pickle ball the kids, the podcast. We will be right back.

(44:38):
I have to uh issue a clarification. What's that. I
don't necessarily need you to play the Brody was wrong jingle?
But sometimes you know the way my brain works like
boom boom boom. Well, one of my pet peeves with
the English language is when people say, you know when
you when you spay or new to your dog. Yeah,

(44:59):
when a dog is it's past tense. It's spade, yep,
spade and spade. It's not spaded right, right, it's right.
So a lot of people get that wrong. So in
my head I'm so conditioned to the ed not being correct.
Whenever I hear somebody say, oh, I had my dog spae,
I'm waiting for it. It dorg spade spade. Well, last episode,

(45:24):
you said or somebody said petted the girl petted the dog.
I say that. I don't think I said that. It's
irrelevant what the context was. But somebody said, uh, somebody
said something petted, and I said petted the past tensive
pet is pet I pet him right, But I was

(45:47):
thinking of spade and I brain farted. So I just
want to say, anyone who was upset last week, I
don't I don't think it was that deep. I don't
think anybody really loves sleep over that. Because Marky Mark
on Instagram pointed it out to me and screenshot of
the AI definition, So because he pointed it out, I'm like,

(46:08):
oh fuck, I must have been thinking of spade, Spade
not being spade. So petted is correct? Petted petted, I
petted the dog. I don't think that's correct. Well, i'll
look it up. I don't think that is correct. I
think I think you were right in the first place.
I petted. No past tense of the verb pet is petted. Petted.

(46:31):
Petted can be used as both simple and past particle
participle tense of the word. I petted the dog yesterday. Yesterday,
the dog was petted. It is a word I just
am so used to shopping. It's spade, and I'm gonna
use that on the air and they're going to correct me.
And then petted petted. No, it's petted, and it's also
it's texted. Just a reminder I texted him, I saw

(46:53):
I saw a politician this week, said, oh, I text
him yesterday. It's texted. Also, uh again, watching the news,
I saw two people say that's a carbon copy. All
they did was cut and paste. Nope, they copied and pasted.
They copy and pasted. They keep saying cut and paste. Also, yeah, yeah,

(47:19):
I got, I got, I got grin. I want to
want to play some audio if I could of two
mistakes and played off my phone and uh, and one
very very funny comment. I want to know what you
think of this your first thing you think about when
you hear the third clip. So this is a baseball announcer,
John Smoltz, a Hall of Fame pitcher for the Atlanta Braves. Uh,

(47:42):
he's broadcasting the one of the games on ESPN. And
here's what he says. And if you speak Spanish you'll understand.
I know that's where you go. But I'd love to
see it to Monolyn go after one of the best.
So what he said was he, uh, he wants to
see them go mono e mono. Oh no, that's not correct.

(48:03):
It's it's mono ah a a which means which technically
means hand to hand, but mono e mono, which which
I is not hand and hand right hand and hand
is like do you want to see them date? Uh?
This was a uh scary everybody knows about the unfortunate
assassination attempt. Yeah, right, Uh anyway, so, uh, the head

(48:28):
of the Secret Service was grilled this week by Congress
to see what happened, what was the failure, and they
wanted her to resign, and she wasn't answering a lot
of questions. So a representative, I think her name is, uh,
let me see, her name is McCain. Maybe no relation
to John McCain. I could be wrong in the name.
It's not important to the story. But she was trying

(48:48):
to This is a fact finding meeting, right of Congress,
and she's she's grilling the woman who runs this the
Secret Service on and she's claiming that the woman's not
answering the question. So tell me what mistakes this woman
made in her questioning. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
If you want to stay in charge, it's it's really
really simple. You want to keep your job, right, absolutely, Okay,
the best way to keep your job is to answer
the questions, not play this shell game, not sing the
slim Shady song wasn't me.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
I mean, come on, it wasn't me. It's not by
it's not by M and M. That's why I or Slim,
it's it's that's that's Shaggy, that's Shaggy. So she's in
a fact finding meeting and she yeah, you need to,
you need to. You know that was written. You know

(49:43):
that was written. She had written down somebody. Somebody definitely
wrote that. Yeah, So don't don't sing that it wasn't
me song by Slim Shady. Now here's a commercial, a
new commercial. I just saw it. It's what looks to
be a relatively well off teenage girl and she's talking

(50:07):
about this new service called Maids, where you can hire
them for not a lot of money and the team
comes over and cleans your house. But listen to her
how she talks about in the commercial, how excited she's
about this new company. Right, you tell me your first thought.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Okay, after Homoglobe cleaned our.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
Place for nineteen dollars, I'm sorry Homoglobe. Oh, the name
of the company's Homoglobe. And they come over and they
clean your house for nineteen dollars.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
After homoglow cleaned our place for nineteen dollars. We fired
our old housekeeper. Homogo tackled everything from our.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
Kitchen to our So did you catch it? No, one
more time, one more time hit me.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
Right after Homoglow cleaned our place for nineteen dollars, we
fired our old housekeeper.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Homoglo, we fired that old housekeeper. Yeah, listen to our
Shes like, oh, yeah, just we loved Homoglobe, so we
fired our house fired. That's pretty. She's cavalier about it. Yeah,
I don't, I don't we use home. Let's do it again.
She's like, yeah, we fired that bitch, is what she said.
Listen to her.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
After Homoglow cleaned our place for nineteen dollars, we fired
our old housekeeper.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
She's such privilege. She's like, yeah, we fired a housekeeper. Yes,
she does sound snide. Fuck her and her four kits
she has to feed. We got our housekeeave of nineteen dollars. Yeah,
hear it.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
We tackle everything market.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
We After Homoglow cleaned our place for nineteen dollars, we
fired our old housekeeper.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
We fired she did like, you know, we let our
housekeeper go. You know, all she had to say was,
you know what, we're happy with the company. We used
to pay another service a lot more money. Now we
fired our housekeeper. Fuck her, Let me go live somewhere else,
let me go back where she came from. That's all. Yeah,
that's a little much. Yeah, I don't like that. I

(51:46):
don't like it either. And now all I can think
about is the poor housekeeper who doesn't have a job.
Right right, tackle everything, go back to the beginning again.
Want more time if you see the commercial to see
this this teenage girl. She's a teenage girl, by the way,
you know it's not her money. Either that's the money
or her fucking house. Yeah, she's like. What she means
is my parents fired them, but I would.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
Go after Homoglobe cleaned our place for nineteen dollars. We
fired our old housekeeper.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
We fired I love I love how the big the
bitch teenage daughters the one to deliver the message to
everyone's like, you've been part of the family for eleven years.
Hit the fuck out. We just paid nineteen dollars in
the house, a house that I don't know and I
don't contribute to in any way financially, Dad, you're saving money.
You fire it, get out, get out, get your things,

(52:32):
get out. Don't even don't even wait, don't even clean
your things out. We'll fucking mail them to you. We
got Homoglobe. Get the fuck out. You fied, Mommy? Can
I fire the housekeeper? Hey, guess what, Miranda, you fire you?
Get the fuck out. Do you know they're from the
wealthy area of Connecticut. You got to see the Connecticut
she she looks like she's well off, blonde teenage girls.

(52:56):
I love homogloves so much more time. One doesn't know
how she's impacted.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
Cleaned our place for nineteen dollars. We fired our old housekeeper.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
Yeah, they probably had house. They probably had the housekeeper
like in her bed. She probably lives upstairs. And these
Homoglobe people for nineteen dollars, they're like, can you lift
your feet? They vacuumed under her feet. No before they
finished cleaning the house for nineteen dollars're like, get the
fuck out, get out, get out. I don't care how
long you've been cleaning our house. I don't care how
long you have you're on Wick food stamps. Your family out.

(53:30):
You know, we used to fifty. We used to pay
you fifty dollars. Now we can pay nineteen. Get the
fuck out. You worked for us for twenty years, You
earn trust with loyalty. You came to our other daughter's wedding,
you babysat for our kids nineteen dollars. You're fucking firefire,
get out. Don't the dog hitch in the ass anyway.

(54:04):
I'mout recovery from that who writes commercials, people who don't
care about people who work for a living. But they're
trying to play on the They're also trying to play
on the audience's sensitivities, and that's that has been insensitive.

(54:25):
All they're playing off of is I could save money
for nineteen But let me ask you a question. No,
but it's not dead black and white. It's not that
clear cut and dry. How many how many people who
have enough money for to have someone clean their house
are also concerned about saving money? I would imagine it's
a percentage none. But if you have a if you
have a scary you have somebody who cleans your apartment.

(54:45):
For how many years now? Estella has been with me
since Wow, since Greg t and I moved into our
first place twenty nine, so twenty four, twenty four years.
She's been with me well, ninety nine to twenty four
is twenty five years, two thousand. I got her in

(55:06):
two thousand, okay, so twenty four I let you got
she was right there. I got well, she was recommended
to me twenty four years. Now you're paying a little
more than nineteen dollars a month, a lot more, okay,
But she's becoming Here's here's the thing. But scary, scary
hemoglobein whatever that company is scary. They can have a
team come over for nineteen dollars and you can fire her.
No way. The woman who threw his sneakers out by accident,

(55:28):
you can fire her. You've been in my life at
twenty four, Get the fuck out. There's no way I
can't do that to her. No way, no shot. Scare.
You'll be saving a little money. What how much am
I saving? You're talking about the guy that pays pays
four hundred dollars for a brand new Verizon router when
I could get it for one hundred on Facebook Marketplace

(55:48):
and not give a shit about it. So no, because
it's about no way, it's about there's a so much
more that goes into that. Come on, No, it was
part of the fam. Here's it's a part of the family.
There's a human there's a human factor. There a huge
human fact. When I'm not at home, this person is
able to go through my drawers whatever, I trust them

(56:09):
not to do that. Yeah, so I'm gonna hire somebody
for nineteen dollars, dude if they're getting paid five dollars
an hour, because it's like for them, you know, yeah,
aren't they more likely to need the money? And what's
going on? Yeah it is, Jef, you work for one
of those companies, got blessed. I'm not saying you're dishonest.
I'm saying having someone you know, for a long time,
there was a local place in Hoboken that had this issue.

(56:30):
They underpaid their their staff that worked for them. It
was like a giant cleaning service and they and there's
been a lot of I saw on a Reddit thread
a lot of issues on with that service because the
people are very underpaid, and because they're underpaid, they're probably
figuring they'll take it out on these people's houses and

(56:52):
their clients. Yeah maybe maybe not maybe allegedly alleged. Right,
So all right, uh, you know you said a local
a local place, right, he said a local? Yeah, Well,
it's not a yeah, yeah, And you know on Facebook
sometimes people ask for advice, right, people have say local
places advice, and I've always I've talked about this someone

(57:13):
we both know put up on their Facebook page, and
you tell me, tell me if this is a cool post,
and if you have all the information you need to
help looking for local places to take off lessons? Thanks
local to what? Thank you? Yeah? Local to? Nobody knows
where she lives? And define local like how Chris, my

(57:35):
local and your local have two different measurements in distance? Correct? Correct?
Because for me, local is you know, maybe the you know,
maybe the tri stated area. I have a car, so
local you may take the bus everywhere, and local is
only within five miles. Right. You may have moved from
a new place. Uh, and there's a pizza place that
wants you to be welcome to the neighborhood. But you
were always local, so you had a free pizza. So

(57:57):
where's the low? So where did and we don't even
know why person lived? To this person? I said to
this person on their Facebook page, I said, how can
I help you if I don't know where you live?
And they wrote, oh, well, the people who live near
me know where I live. We huh, that's what she wrote.
The people who know where I live, you know, live
near me, know where I live. Okay, but but I'm

(58:19):
seeing it. I will tell you scary. There's there's a
group I belong to which I've told you to join.
It's the Chicken Palm Club of New Jersey or something,
and people post pictures of the chicken palm and they
recommend the best chicken palm in the area, and uh,
you know where you can go, and it's it's it's
like the pizza place, the pizza FanBook Facebook group that

(58:42):
I'm part of, but it's for chicken palm. Sure you'd
want to be part of that, wouldn't you? Always? Yeah? Yeah,
So how can I get it on it? So somebody,
well you have to just I'll send you the link.
It's fine. So somebody, somebody put up the question. They said,
what's the best pizza? What's the best chicken palm? Uh?

(59:04):
In Morris County, New Jersey. All right, So you would
expect someone to write the name of a place they
recommend as the best chicken parm in Mars County. Give
me names. So this guy wrote, not to sound rude,
but go try them all there's a ton of great
restaurants in Marris County that is not helpful in any way,

(59:25):
right to which I replied, how is that helpful? A
person asks you for a recommendation of the best chicken
parm and you tell them go try all five thousand
restaurants in Marris County? And what did they? Right back?
They wrote, I was trying to be helpful. You weren't.
You were the exact opposite of helpful. Yeah, go try

(59:46):
every restaurant in the entire county, and let us know
is a lot of good ones. Go try them all.
Go try every Italian restaurant? And Diana, did people feel
the need to even elicit or put a response out
if they don't have a specific thing that hits home
with them, Like, by the way, if I saw that

(01:00:06):
post and I didn't know anything about Morris County and
I or I didn't have an opinion, I wouldn't write anything.
I wouldn't waste my time. Don't write anything. Why you
wasting your your own brain power and your your time
to to write something nonsensical that's not helpful? Right now?
If you if you're asking me specifically about a place

(01:00:30):
in Hoboken, that I know is near and dear to
my heart. I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say the
best chicken palm is at this place you give because
it it hits home with me, it hits a nerve.
So I feel like I got to get out there.
I want this person to experience the experience I had

(01:00:51):
with this chicken palm? Right? Does that make me know?
I've tried a lot of them. Try one. I enjoy
every restaurant in Marris County. Morris County is the size
of almost the size of like may, I guess it's
the size of a city. Yeah, so so, so I
was brought back to my childhood. We had Ralph Machio.

(01:01:14):
Oh you heard Nicki minaj What what are you raised on?

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
Yeah, I grew up on Nicki minaj.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
U.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
We're Ralph Macchio in the studio from the Cobra Kai
and back in the day, the Karate Kid, the Outsiders
and my cousin Vinnie, who was in all the So
he ages in reverse. He is like the real life
Benjamin Buttons. This dude. I look, he just ages slowly.
He's not he looks great. He does look great. So

(01:01:46):
so he came in and we're talking off air about
how in nineteen eighty four, when The Karate Kid was released,
if you go back to back in the day Karate Kid,
mister Miyagi, you know, and all the you know, all
the mayaghisms and stuff, and the Bonzai tree. Let me

(01:02:07):
say paint defense. The paint Defense. I will tell you
that that was an inspiration to me back then. And
little known fact I'm just gonna let you know here
because nobody on the morning show knew, but I took
karate because of that fuck karate. Yeah, little Scary Jones,

(01:02:27):
you're a large belt. It was. Do you know how
many karate studios were opened during that in the mid
eighties because of the Karate Kids series of films. Thing
biggest thing karate was. Everyone wanted how to take karate.
And now I know today it's not a big it

(01:02:48):
was today. You know, it's like going to the dojo
or I work. I do this here and karate is
pretty commonplace. But it really wasn't as popular before that
film came out as it became, and it was an
explosion in the eighties. So I took karate. I got
through my first I know, the first katta and the

(01:03:09):
second kata. But you also know, welcome back kata, mister katzia,
mister kattia. But I will, I don't. I never made
it past the white belt. Man never made it man, Yeah,

(01:03:31):
I mean the belt turned yellow from just stretching having
a white belt for so long, it just turned yellow.
Did your belt pe my belt? But no, I never
made it past the white belt. It was I was
not good in karate, and no, wasn't. I was not
my thing. And back then you did you didn't get

(01:03:54):
a participation trophy. Back then it was I suffered through
karate for about a year year and I never got better.
And rather today if it was was, if this was today,
i'd be like an orange belt or a blue belt
by now. If it was like a year, a year
passed by because they want to show progress, I feel
like that they're a lot easier on you. Back then

(01:04:14):
it was the school of hard knocks. Did you ever
get flipped? Yes? I did, but I took karate classes.
Wasn't the greatest thing. I wasn't motive, I was. I
don't know. I just felt like that the guy who
sense was just a bit of an asshole. He never

(01:04:36):
you know, he I never progressed because he never painted
a fence, no wax. The call so having Ralph macho
and unlocked all these memories from liked did did you
tell him the story?

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
I didn't get to go that far, but I just
told him he was he inspired me to take karate
because which is true? Which is true? You fanboyed a
little bit, did you? I used that very I said,
I'm fanboying ten year old Scury is fanboying right now
because that's that was a thing. But man, then I
thought about the awful times and how it just all

(01:05:10):
came crumbling down for me. It really did. It ended
in misery. I started detesting going there. I told my
father would take me there and I'd be like, fuck this.
I don't think you're gonna learn karate, Anthony. You're gonna
protect yourself in this neighborhood. What dude? After a year
of that misery, I said, Dad, I don't want to
do this anymore. Fuck this because there was a year

(01:05:31):
of misery, but you only went for like two weeks.
But the sense was a douche, he really was. He
never tried to make me and other kids were advancing.
Oh congratulations, they have a ceremony. This person earns their
orange belt. This person has moved up. This guy's a
red belt, and everyone was moving through the system. And
a year later, I still have my goddamn white belt.

(01:05:51):
This guy's belt is turning color. You're a yellow belt
by default. I'll tell you. I'm gonna tell you my
karate story if I can sure. There's a strip mall
about fifteen twenty minutes away from me that I pass often,
and I see this giant sign a couple of years
ago opening soon, Master sue. I'm like, great, another Chinese

(01:06:12):
restaurants opening up. This fantastic and it turned out to
be a karate place. I'm like, that's disappointing. I wanted
a new takeout place to try, and the lettering, the
font would all look like a Chinese restaurant. It's a
karate place, And every time I passed it, I'm like,
oh Chinese, damn it. I can't go by it and

(01:06:33):
I think it's Chinese food. Yeah, damn it. Well, no,
I never I never did you what did you? What
did you play? Well, let me tell you about karaate.
I'm not saying it's the same now, but back in
the day, karate was for the kids that were hyperactive.
The teachers and experts would tell you to tell you
you should put him in karate. He's very physical, he
needs to get his energy out. So the craziest wild

(01:06:56):
kids would go to karate to get their their their anger,
their their their their physical I guess you'd call it
hyperactivity or ADHD now whatever. But back in the day,
the kids that were like hyper and wild and rambunctious,
they go, you should, you should, like they'd build on
your little league team, but they'd be like jumping up
and down and throwing things in the outfield. They couldn't
focus right. They're like, oh, she put him in karate

(01:07:17):
to focus him, said in the same kids. When these wild,
rambunctious kids now did karate moves, she made them more
dangerous and violent. There was the terrible worst thing to do.
They're like, the kid used to punch the air, now
has like they're building to punch your face out. Yeah
that was karate and that's not like that now to
my knowledge. But that's where they were like, you should
have him do karate or like boxing or something, get

(01:07:39):
his get his energy out. So no, not doing that
did you play any sports that kill you played baseball, Yeah,
I played baseball. I played football in uh you know,
I tag football. But in high school we didn't have
we didn't have sports in our high school. We didn't
have real sports. But I always played baseball. I always
played baseball and softball. I bowled. I was in bowling
leagues most of my teen years. And uh, well, I'm

(01:08:01):
pretty good. No, No, I know, I know you're good.
You're a good bowler. No, you really are. And I
am now a rising intermediate pick pick player. I play volleyball.
I'm pretty good at badminton. I know my I know
my way around a shuttle cock. If you know what
I'm saying. You know I I don't really have any
I I really you know. I played street basketball with

(01:08:23):
my friends mm hmm, occasional softball. That was it. I
mean I didn't join I didn't join the baseball leagues.
I wasn't that kid because you were doing karate. I
was doing karate, doing karate. I'm still gonna tell the
story about dumb Girl, but I want to get your
opinion on animals when we come back. That's okay, we're
out of commercials. No, we're good, we're commercial free. Oh then,

(01:08:44):
oh god, I want no. I should tell you about
the stupid girl, and I'll do the animal conversation late.
Let me tell about the now. I'm not saying, uh,
everyone's like this or I expect more from everyone, and
I'm sure everyone has a kid like this or whatever.
But let me tell you what happened to me. I
was at Target, I guess a week and a half
ago because before last week's episode, and I parked next

(01:09:05):
to a white car and I noticed, so I was
on the right side of this car. I noticed that
the right rear tire was flat, not low flat as
I was getting out of my car. So I got
back in my car. I got some paper and I
left a note on the windshield that said, hey, your
right rear tire is flat, don't drive on it. And

(01:09:28):
I put it on the windshield wiper under the driver's wiper. Well,
I come back, the note still there, the car is
still there. I must have finished shopping before they did,
or they work there, I don't know. So I get
in my car. I'm checking my phone, I'm killing time,
and as I'm pulling out, I hear the woman getting
in her car. So I rolled down the window and

(01:09:50):
I blow the horn. I get it, roll down the
window and I say, listen, I'm the guy who put
the note on your wiper blade. A what note? Now?
She had already started the cars is going to back up.
I said, you don't see the note. It's a piece
of paper and you win, you'll wiper Oh I didn't
see it. I said, you need air and your tire
isn't that right?

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:10:10):
What do you think she should say? Scary when I
tell her she needs air on a tire or tires flat?
Thank you so much for letting me know. I'm gonna
go to a gas station and I'm gonna fix it, right,
She says, Oh, no, that's just the light on my dashboard.
So I said, the light. Yeah, Like about how would
I know about the light on your dashboard? Well, my

(01:10:31):
dad says, the light's broken and my tires are fine.
I said, but how would you know? Right? How would
I know, David Brody that your light is one? You're
not inside the car? Yeah, you're looking, you're you're are
you making an observation right? And I'm talking about the
fact your tire is actually flat? She said, Oh, it's
just no no, my dad said, the light will go off.

(01:10:53):
I said, no, no, the light is telling you the
tire is flat. You get out of the car. Your
tires floy You can't try it on the tire. Do
you live in moron Ville? What city are you in? Haha? No,
not gonna say which target. Ah. She says, well, he
put air in my tire last night, so it's fine. Okay,

(01:11:15):
So you're not listening to me. You have a bigger problem.
The air is gone, your tire is flat, and I
would have no way of knowing that your your dad
put the the tire last night. I wasn't with you.
I'm making an observation, right, So I said, how would
I know about your dad putting air in the tire?
I said, the tire's flat. She's oh, I don't know.

(01:11:35):
I said, Look, I have the girl. The girl is
a teenager. She had to be like nineteen twenty years old.
Obviously twenties on a teenager, but she's around that age.
I said, look, I have a portable air compressor that
you know I got on Amazon. You in. It's battery
operated or you can plug it into the cigaret ladder.
So it's cordless because I charged the batter. I said, look,
I have a portable air compressor joint to put air
on your tire. She says sure. I said, okay, how

(01:11:56):
many PSID does your tire hold? I don't know what's
ps she says to me, Come on, Broye. At this point,
you really think she knows your PSI. She doesn't know
her ass from her elbow. Okay, So I said, it
means pounds per square inch. So she says, I don't
know what does thirty seven sound right? I said, I
don't know what would sound right either. It's that's the
right number, it's not. I don't know how much your

(01:12:18):
tires take. I said, look, the number's on the tire.
Can you can you bend down and look on the tire.
Where on the tire? I said, you see the lettering
going around the tire. That's where it's written on the
outside of the tire. So she's looking down and see it.
So I get down and I look. She got really
cheap tire scare. I've never heard of this brand. I
never heard of it. It didn't have the PSI on
the tire. I said, you know what, I opened my

(01:12:40):
car door. I didn't know my car. I said, check
your door jam again. I think I was talking to
an adult. Check your doorjam. And there's a sticker that
tells you the PSI. What's a doorjam? So I opened
my car door. I said, see that sticker, that's your doorjam.
Go on your car and look and tell me the PSI.
So she goes. She goes, it's his thirty nine PSI. Okay, great,

(01:13:00):
come over here, I said you. I said, I'm going
to set the compressor to thirty nine PSI. And I
attached it to a tire and I said, your tire
has fourteen PSI. That means it's basically flat. It's flat.
I said, you really should get a portable air compressor
for your car. She says, well, my dad has one
at home. I said, what good is it doing at home.

(01:13:24):
Your tire is flat. It should be in your trunk
at all times. I said, I said, is this your car?
She says, no, it's a lease. Well I said, no
it is. I go, great, but is it your car?
She can't be that stupid. I'm scary. This is the conversation.
So it's just well, it's my it's not really my car,

(01:13:45):
but I drive it. But we haven't paid off the
lease yet. I go, honey, I didn't say, how I go.
You realize when you pay off the lease, it's their
car again, right, don't own the car. It's your car
for now, right, it's hey, it's my Verizon router for now.
You're right now fifteen. But I'm gonna give that shit
back that twenty twenty technology. So I said, you should

(01:14:05):
get one of these compressors. They're on Amazon at like
thirty five dollars. She said, to keep in my car? No,
to keep it? I said no, So I swear to
God I said this. I said, no to keep in
your shower. And she says, huh, why would I keep
it in my shower? Exactly? Why wouldn't you keep it
in your car? Oh, I guess that makes the most sense.

(01:14:27):
So she's so, she's looking at the tire, and I said,
don't worry, it'll shut off by itself. And so thirty
seconds later she says to me, when will it turn off?
I said, I just told you it shuts off by
its side. I just told you that. So she says,
I said, you had to check your tire pressure on
your dashboard, like you youne had it probably comes up.
If you set your menu, you'll tell you how many

(01:14:48):
PSI are in your tire, and if it's not thirty nine,
if it's thirty eight, you're fine, but if it's like twenty,
you shouldn't drive on it. She says, Oh, my dad
does that for me. I said, how can your dad
do that for you? If you're here at Target, you
should know, Oh, your car? How long has this been
your car? A year and a half? Forget it? I said, Okay,
I said, you should know how to check your gauges

(01:15:08):
because you're in the car alone. She said, well, I
just call them. I said, but you know, but this
story mirrors so many people listening right now. It really does.
There's a lot of people that don't look at me.
I know, I don't know shit about cars. I just
pressed the freaking button and said, hey, but you don't
row my father, right, Okay? So I said, you know,

(01:15:30):
you can also look at the owner's manual for any
of this information. Where is that it's all? Where is that?
I go, It's in your glove compartment. I made it.
I made her check okay, okay, okay, it was there
right yeah? So I said, look, I said, she wasn't
in her bedroom. She had to make a bonhead move
take it out of the car. So I fill up
the tire with air and she goes, all right, I said,

(01:15:51):
you're gonna go get this fixture. Well, I got to
do a little more shopping and then I'll drive home later.
I said, you need to get this fixed by a
flat fixed place. So she says, oh, like the place
by the movie theater. I said, I don't know what
movie theater you're talking about, so I really can't answer
your question about if there's a place next to a
movie theater that fixes flats. I don't know what movie
theater you talk You get involved ocause I was trying

(01:16:12):
to be helpful. She says, you know, just the movie
theater in my town. I gotta go. I don't know
what town you live in, So I said, look, it's
a it's a. I said, look, it's a good thing
I stopped you. If you had driven on that tire
with the what you would with the tire flat like that,
the rim would have cut into the tire and ruined it.
She says, oh, then I would have had to get
like a whole new tire. I said, no, exactly, like
a whole new tire. That's what ruined means, it would

(01:16:35):
have been ruined. She says, how much are new tires?
I said, you need to know these things, they're all
different prices. Well, my dad does it for me. I said, Oh,
I totally got that impression. I got that impression. You
have a good day, I said, but you should probably
get home because if your dad put air in the
tire and it's flat today, you're losing it quickly. You
can't tell you have more patience than I do. Man,
I would never probably. It was only like five minutes

(01:16:57):
of conversation. It wasn't like I was there for an hour.
I mean, she's, oh, no, no, I don't know. I
don't have a flat tire. That's the light on my dashboard.
What the fuck? How would I know that? The dumbest
I don't. I don't know. You'll lose it over this. Okay,
you're right there, Okay, I'm not no, I'm not okay,
catch your breath. I'm not catch your breath, Brodie. It's

(01:17:18):
feel like I've been playing pick a ball for two hours.
All right, my dad does that for me. How do
you you have gas in the car? I don't know.
My dad puts gas in the car. Oh Boys, Boys,