Dealing With My Grief

Dealing With My Grief

My name is Darwyn M. Dave, and I lost my father in April of 1978 when I was just 10 years old. Even though that was a long time ago, I have realized that I'm not "over" his death, but in fact I'm still dealing with it. I've started the Dealing With My Grief podcast to discuss how I have been coping with grief and bereavement since that time. It is my hope that in creating this space I am able to connect with others who have lost someone close to them and in some small way help them deal with their pain.

Episodes

November 7, 2023 13 mins
I have been away for almost 2 years after going through a health crisis... I'm back and I'd like to thank everyone who reached out to me during my absence.

If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedul...

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IDoes the pain of grief ever sto hurting so much? If so, when? I reflect (and maybey rant) on my experience wih the ebbs and flows that pain brings with grief.

Spoiler alert: it begins to hurt less until it doesn't!

If ...

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I have returned to podcasting after a long hiatus. While I have had some struggles with my physical health, Im doing well and looking to get better.

I've received a lot of email in the last 6 months and today. I'd like to focus on platitutes and the things that people say when we are grieving. Why aren't they helpful?

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As we approach Father's day, it dawned on me that during the Mother's Day/Father's Day period there is a certain segment of the grief population that seem sto be totally ignored... that would be parents who have lost children.

I know that people post about loss of all types every day, but during this period I rarely see posts by parents who have lost children but I see a lot of post of individuals mourning their parents.

If you hav...

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As I release this episode of the podcast, I am remembering my dad's 86th birthday. It also marks the beginning of my mourning period leading to his death anniversary on the 24th.

As this is the third year I have had to navigate this anniversary without the words of my mother to comfort me, I try looking  for other ways to keep from focusing to much on my dad's death anniversary. This year 'm trying to be inspired by others.

Joe Bid...

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Dealing with recent challenges has forced me to re-examine my relationship with the word "help". Being an only chile, I was "forced" to figure most things on my own. Asking for help was something I didn't do often. If I did I'd ask my mother for help. Now that she's gone, I have other's that I can go to, but for me that is often difficult.

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We've been dealing with COVID for over a year... During this time their are a lot of things that we've done that we didn't think we could do, things we didn't want to do... but we did them anyway.

Needless to say, it has been a rough year.

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I have been away for a long time. My home caught on fire in February 2020 and before moving back into my home in November 2020 I moved a total of 4 times. I caught COVID in February 2021 which caused me to be in the hospital for almost 3 weeks.

Needless to say, it has been a rough year.

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I have often been asked if I have problems discussing the circumstances surrounding my dad' s death. Truthfully, I used to , but since starting the podcast It has been a lot easier for me. People need to know that some things they see on television is real, and it effect real people.

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Have you ever had an issue expressing how you navigate through the grieving process? If so, I had a conversation with a film maker who has a project that is a must see for grievers as well as those who are supporting grievers.

Lindsey Whissel Fenton is an Emmy award-winning storyteller who is passionate about using public media to build empathy. She is currently a senior producer at WPSU where, most recently, she developed, produce...

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A listener asks if I still styruggle with someThe short anse things since it seems like I have come up with coping skills for a lot of things.

The short answer is yes... I struggle with some things. However, there are some things that don't bother me so much.

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I received letter a few months ago from the person convicted of killing my father. This letter had been written in 2008 and had never been claimed by my mother.

I'm not sure if she was truly aware that this letter had been written, or if she simply chose not to receive it.

In any case, it weas not what I expected .

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A few months ago, I received notification that the person convicted of killing my father will be eligible for a parole hearing in April 2023... that is less than 3 years away. Even still, while the hearing is in less than three years, he still has another mandatory 8 years let's be fty to server.

When I was a kid, 50 years seemed forever... now its right around the corner. I know have to ask myself how I feel about that.

Do I consi...

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Sometimes grief comes between us.

we plan for many things, but grief is not one of them. As we be go through life, planning for what we think is going to be the future, grief has a way of derailing those plans, So much so that it may begin to eat away at the fabric of our relationships.

As we begin to process our grief, how quickly we move through has a serious impact on what people think about us and how they act towards us. The k...

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On May 25, 2020 George Floyd lost his life to the hands of the Minneapolis, Minnesota police when a police office knelt on his neck until he was dead. This is just the latest example an unarmed African American man whose life has senselessly been taken by those who have sworn to protect and serve us.

In the wake of this tragedy, there have been protests and riots all across the country.

In the midst of it all there are many people ...

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May 27, 2020 19 mins

Why did my mother give me my name.... Darwyn?

Last week I talked about change... change while going through the changes that grief brings.

This week is about the evolution of grief... how my grief has evolved and how I have evolved (or maybe not) around it.

I used to be angry, lost, confused in the immediate days and years following my dad's death.

Somehow, somewhere I found the act of forgiveness which allowed me to release the an...

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Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher said, “Change is the only constant in life.”

As I publish this episode I realize that not only is change constant, but I have no control over how or even when it affects me. Change for as much as it can be welcomed and good when we know that something good is coming can be so dreadful when the unexpected bad thing s happen.

Even when we know that bad things are going to occur I sometime ignore the ...

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As I sit working from home amid the COVID-19 pandemic I have realized that the link between this virus and grief is more that just the deaths caused by the virus.

With all the talk about the number of cases and death expected to rise, speculation about a possible vaccine years ahead of the normal timeline for vaccine development and the politicizing of the virus by both parties here in the U.S., Just like I have often done in grief...

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As this podcast episode is being released on the anniversary of my father's death, I find myself being consumed by a different question than usual.

When did I start my healing process?

The answer... when the bleeding stopped!

When I physically fall, sometimes bhe bleeding doesn't happen immediately. The blood and pain take a minute to be registered by my brain and they suually hit at the same time. At that point there is no denying...

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