Labor & Delivery Nurse Jen Hamilton joins Bobby to share what life is really like inside the delivery room, from the birth stories that stay with her to theadvice every first-time mom should hear. She opens up about postpartum, swaddling, umbilical cord complications, and why she judged Bobby for not cutting the cord. Jen also shares what it’s like getting recognized in the hospital, the longest induction she’s ever been part of, and the moments that make labor and delivery unpredictable, emotional, and unforgettable.
Watch The BobbyCast on Netflix!
Follow on Instagram: @TheBobbyCast
Follow on TikTok: @TheBobbyCast
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
But she looked like she was not having a good time,
and she's like, get this thing out of me. I
was like, okay, so I go to pull it out,
and I pull it out. I was like, oh, my goodness,
you probably feel so much better.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And she's like, now, today's guest is Jen Hamilton. She
is wildly popular. She's a labor and delivery nurse with
over a decade of experience and a massive online following.
I told some of my friends that I had Jen
Hamilton coming on and they freaked out. She's that popular
and her whole goal is to pull back the cart
(00:39):
and on what really happens in the delivery room. She
has a new book out now called Birth Vibes, and
it's all about ditching the perfect birth plan and learning
how to actually advocate for yourself when things maybe don't
go the way that you expected. And so we're going
to talk about a lot of that. And I just
had a baby, and again, I cannot emphasize to you
how excited so many of my friends were about this interview.
(01:01):
And you'll see she's awesome. We talk labor surprises, postpartum realities,
and the biggest myths about birth and let's do it
now here. She has the great, the funny, the hilarious,
the knowledgeable Jen Hamilton. Hey Jen, I'm Bobby. How are you.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Hey, Bobby, nice to see you.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I'm gonna start with we just had a baby, first baby,
so congratulations, thank you for six weeks six six week baby,
very very small baby.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You're in it. You're in it right now.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, we're in it. Which is how you came into
my world is My wife is a massive fan. And
we were, you know, just talking about what I found interesting,
and she said, you should really talk to Jen Hamilton
because I have to tell you I have a fascination
now with labor and delivery nurse nurses because we had
the greatest one. So that that is still what you do, right?
(01:51):
Is that your everyday job?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, that's my everyday job. So I still work, I
still do the stuff, and it's just like the thing
I love doing the most.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
We went into the hospital and I didn't really know
what to expect other than what friends had told me.
And I never realized how important and how comforting a
great labor and delivery nurse is because I thought we
had all these appointments with the doctor and the doctor
was great, But the doctor just comes into the close.
(02:23):
It's the closer like it's you guys that do all
the work, all the making us feel comfortable, all the
being there. I did not know that until this trip,
and so we had the greatest labor and delivery nurse.
And is it my first question to you, it's kind
of a selfish one. If I wanted to send a
gift up to her because she was awesome? Is that okay?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Absolutely? I mean I think that's that I didn't expect
when of our I kind of switched from er to
labor and delivery because we never got gifts in the ear.
I'll tell you that. But yeah, I think that it's
such a nice thing to do. I'll tell you what
means probably the most to her is if you have
any pictures with her in it. I think that that's
so I love getting pictures of you know, of me
(03:06):
and action. So if you have any pictures, and then
also you can nominate her for like a Daisy Award,
if you know, if she really made your experience awesome.
It's kind of like a way that labor and delivery
nurses can get recognized. But then also if you just
want to give her something tangible we do we do
like snacks and things, and so sometimes people will do that,
(03:28):
but you absolutely don't. I know that. She would have
me tell you you don't have to do any of
those things. But it's so nice that you're thinking about that.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, I you know, don't feel like I have to.
That's why I want to. I'm I'm the kind of
person if I'm told I have to, then I definitely
don't want to do it at all. Right, But she
was such a game changer because one, she was great
for my wife, meaning it was always calm. Her bedside
manner was amazing. But when it was time, like business time,
and I did a lot of learning over the past
(03:57):
six or seven months, I didn't even know what you know,
being dilated, I know any of that, right, So whenever
it was like time to go like ten centimeters dilated like,
she was like focused, business like. She did the work,
not that the doctor didn't, but she was there the
whole time, from the beginning until the end. How many
do you think you've done births?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Yeah, uh, man, I've been doing it for eight years,
and you know, working every weekend and so sometimes and
sometimes you're in births that it's not actually your patient either,
So maybe like at least three a day that I'm in,
So I don't know. I don't even know the math
(04:37):
on that. A whole bunch of babies, for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I feel like everyone thinks their baby is cute. Are
there cuter babies than others?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I'll say that some babies have a rough ride, you know,
they come into the world and they they look a
little road hard, put up what kind of thing. Sometimes
they're a little swollen in their face or bruised or
you know. And then some babies just shoot out and
they look like they, you know, were sent by an angel,
you know. But uh, yeah, some babies have it rough
(05:09):
coming in.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You did er before labor and delivery not and I
understand it's not the same, but not the same at all.
Were you doing a completely different kind of anybody that
comes in you were taking care of as a nurse.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, So in the ER, I did not want to
take care of anybody who was pregnant because I was
afraid that they were going to birth in front of me,
and I knew nothing about that. So EER nurses are
very allergic to pregnant people, like we very much want
them to go somewhere else. So being on labor and delivery,
it was very much a learning curve and having to
(05:42):
figure out this whole new specialty. But that's I think
the beauty of nursing is that you can go from
doing one thing to doing something completely different but still
have the same degree.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Whenever you started doing labor and delivery, did it feel
like something that you had always meant to do or
was it something you were good at.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I think it was something that I didn't expect to
be good at. Whenever I was in nursing school, I
remember on my labor and delivery clinical thinking like this,
yere is a wet place to work, you know. That
was what I remembered most, is like, holy cow, there's
a lot of fluid here. So I wasn't particularly like
(06:25):
excited about it whenever I was in nursing school and
me going from the er to labor and delivery was
really honestly just try to trying to escape the er
because it was just so emotionally, physically everything a lot.
And so I think that going into labor and delivery
(06:45):
was something that I was unexpectedly excited that I was
okay at because I think that what I was looking
for was that connection that I had with people that
I didn't really get to do in the er.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Do you feel the need to make it special for
every person even though you're doing three a day, and
to you it is it's not just a job, but
you're doing a lot of them, so they all aren't
so precious, But to make sure they know how precious
it is, Like, is that something you have to do.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I absolutely feel it's such an honor to be with
every single person, and I really take it seriously in
order to make it special for especially the people who
may feel neglected or like that they wouldn't normally get
that experience. So, for instance, someone who doesn't speak English.
(07:43):
One of the things that I love to do is
I give every patient that I care for promises, And
one of those promises is I promised to speak to
you in the same way that I would someone who
speaks my language, so that you feel cared for as
a friend. So I know that the interpreters where I
work sometimes get a little probably frustrated with me because
(08:04):
I don't just want to know, like, what how was
your pregnancy? Do you have any medical problems? I want
to know, like what's your favorite color? Like what do
you like to eat? What do you like to do,
so that I can make that experience as special for
them as I possibly can have.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
You had people come in and you were their nurse
and they knew who you were from social media.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Oh, it happens so often now. Whenever it first started happening,
it was kind of like that moment where I was like,
oh man, this is this is real. Like, I you know,
there's a lot of people who know me now, but
now i'd have to say that in all the rooms
that I go in, because I'm also a charge nurse
and I work in ther like I work in a
lot of different places, I'd say that there's at least
(08:47):
three patients that I'll see at some point in my
day that do recognize me. And I find that such
an honor, like to see on the back end, like
the effect that you know, me talking about labor and
delivery has on people in real life, and so it's
such an honor to meet these people.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
How did it start for you online?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Oh? Yeah, So in the pandemic time, I had a
lot of boredom and I was just trying to I mean,
I think we were all kind of just like homeschooling
our kids at home and really bored. And so I
had a friend that said, hey, why don't you download TikTok,
like this is a really fun app. And I really
didn't have any interest in downloading another app because I
(09:33):
was already too much online, but since we had a pandemic,
I was like, Okay, I'll do that. So I first
just wanted to be just watching videos, and then my
very first video was me pressing the plus button to
see what that was all about at the bottom. But
it never started with labor and delivery either. I just
(09:55):
kind of started making silly videos about being a mom
or being a nurse. And then I recognized how many
patients were getting their prenatal education from TikTok, and I
saw the effects of when they were getting that from
somebody who maybe didn't have their best interest at heart,
and then thought, if they're getting it from TikTok, I
(10:18):
might as well be here helping them, So I started
talking more about labor and delivery too.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Did you have a specific video that popped off the
most It made you feel like there is something to
this so you can help people?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Well, I think that the videos that have popped off
along the way definitely are videos that maybe didn't have
a lot to do with labor and delivery, but then
they helped me find people who who needed some labor
and delivery content. So I think that one of them
was me swaddling my chickens because I like to swaddle
(10:52):
things as a labor and delivery nurse. So you know,
one of those videos had like, I don't know, forty
three million views or something crazy, and so a lot
of people find me in other ways that don't have
to specifically do with the labor and delivery education of it,
but then they're like, oh, she also does this other thing.
So I did a poll on my Instagram. I was like, hey,
(11:14):
how many of you guys follow me because labor because
of labor and delivery, and then how many of you
follow me for something else? And it was like the
split was like thirteen percent labor and delivery eighty seven
percent something else. So like, people find me mostly through
other things and then figure out later that I do
labor and delivery.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I see a lot of things about parenthood now that
I am a brand new dad in my algorithm and
we swaddle our baby and she loves it. But I
will see people say swaddling is bad because it restrains them.
We don't subscribe to that, But what are your thoughts
on that?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
So I think everything in moderation. There's new stuff coming
out right now that says it's swaddle is not the
most awesome. However, it is cute. It is very cute,
and sometimes it can help your baby to at least
be soothed or comforted, like if they're not having a
great time. So I think that as long as you're
(12:14):
not like, you know, swallowing every moment of every day,
you know, I think that there can be some nice
stuff with it too.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I'd say we're probably about total thirty minutes a day
in the swaddle.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah. Yeah, Sometimes they just liked I like to be swaddled,
you know, somebody swaddle me.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I was watching a video that I thought was really compelling,
pretty moving, and someone had I guess, left a message
for you or maybe in DMS about like postpartum that
they weren't doing well. And again, I have no experience
with this until the last few weeks or so, so
I've been actually been talking about it with my friends too,
and I have one friend whose wife was extremely depressed.
(12:58):
We've been very fortunate as my wife been very emotional postpartum,
but hers has been very, very very positive, like so
happy that it makes her very very emotional. I guess
my question is, with someone who deals with it a lot,
is it just a crap she you know what's going
to happen after you have the baby.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
It really just honestly depends, and you never know how
it's going to affect you until you meet yourself postpartum.
I'll say that I think, at least in my personal perspective,
I think that there's a lot of postpartum depression and
anxiety that begins from not having an awesome birth experience
(13:39):
or one that you truly understand, or having a lot
of questions around what happened to you. So I try
to do my part with the patients that I take
care of and not only making sure that they fully
understand what's happening, that they have autonomy over their choices
and over their body, but also helping them understand what
(14:01):
things they may experience in the postpartum period as far
as looking for those signs of you know, those intrusive thoughts,
and sometimes you think of things that you never ever
thought you would, Like what if I put my baby
in the freezer? Like, of course that's something you're not
gonna act on, but it could be if if you
(14:23):
kind of let these things linger. So I let that
kind of be like the the trigger to say, hey,
I'm having thoughts that I never thought that I would,
Or like if you feel like you're not even able
to relax or you're not able to feel joy in
these moments that you feel like you that you normally
would that letting your people around you know how you're feeling,
(14:48):
especially letting your care team know how you're feeling, and
that there are resources available for people. One of the
resources that my sister had to use was something called
Postpartum Support Internet or PSI. They have an incredible network
of resources to help new moms who are struggling with
these feelings be able to get connected to those resources
(15:11):
and find a way out. Because yes, postpartum depression and
anxiety and sometimes even psychosis does affect a lot of people,
but it doesn't mean that it has to take hold
and become such a huge part of your life. Like
there are resources and the sooner that you recognize that
(15:33):
you're feeling off, and the sooner you get help, the
sooner you can feel better.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Is that something too, where if you go and you're
pursuing medication, that there's not like a single medication that
fixes it, right? Is it something that at times you
may have to bounce around until you find the right thing.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, I mean there's definitely some that they that they
can start with or that are more popular than others.
But the beauty of getting help is that your care
provider can work with you to figureigure out what the
right combination, if there is a combination or the right medication,
the right resources that are available so that you can
find what works for you. It's not always a one
(16:10):
size fits all.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
And we're back on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
We were talking about your book. So when did you
decide you wanted to write a book and how do
you know where to start?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Oh, that's a good question. I didn't know that I
wanted to write a book, and it wasn't until I
had publishers reaching out saying like, hey, we think you
should write a book that I kind of my first
reaction was like, I don't even write in a journal.
I don't know that you want me to write a book.
And through that process, I had a friend, had a
(16:52):
few friends that had written books and kind of got
me with the right people to kind of have my
back through this process, and I wrote a sample and
so that sample was just like one chapter of a
book that I hoped to write, and through that being
able to kind of think about stories that I would
(17:12):
want to tell or themes that I would want people
to know. And it was so cathartic in being able
to write down things that it actually happened to me
in real life. Of course everything is like hip a compliant,
but these are all real things that I've experienced as
a nurse. But being able to write those down and
(17:35):
be able to get those out of my head, I
feel like is a form of therapy for me. And
then also my publisher giving me the freedom to talk
in my book how I talk in real life was
so awesome because like one of the first things that
I had written in my book that got edits back.
(17:58):
So what I did, what I would do is like
I would write it chapter and then I'd send it
to a book coach who would go through and kind
of edit it for you know, grammar and structure and everything.
And one of the first edits I got back from
her was that I had written titties in the wind,
and she crossed it out and put naked. And then
I was like, absolutely not, absolutely not, it is titties
(18:20):
in the wind. Okay. So I write how I talk.
I write how I talk to my patients. And so
having a publisher that could see past like the formality
the professionalism of what you might normally see in a
healthcare book, to be able to talk to people how
I normally do was so awesome and so freeing. So
(18:41):
I'm very happy with what we ended with.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Where did you grow up?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I'm in North Carolina, so I've always been born raised
here in central North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
And where'd you go to college for nursing school?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I went to Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, which has
a lot to controversial that the fall all the yes,
I'm not like I'm not like them. Okay, I need
to say that.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Were you there when that happened?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
I was there when the little one fallwell junior when
he took over. Okay, and I knew that when we
so every every week we'd have to go to church,
like three times a week. That was mandatory. So Monday, Wednesday,
Friday called convocation, we'd have to go there. So I
get there and broke its up in front of everybody
(19:33):
and says to the boys, look around. If you can't
find a wife here, you're a loser. I was like, Oh,
this is different. So I knew that. I knew there
was some weirdness going on from the jump, but you
never know to like if you ever watch those documentaries
or listening to the podcast about it, who they have
(19:54):
some hobbies.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah, that's the pull boys thing right that?
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
The boy Yeah that's wild. Did you meet your husband there?
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I met my husband at Victory Junction Camp. Have you
ever heard of it?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
No?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
So it's a it's a camp for kids with chronic
and terminal illnesses. And we were both camp counselors there.
It's a NASCAR camp, so it's it was made by
Richard Petty's son, Kyle Petty in honor of there of
Kyle Petty's son Adam, And it's like Disney World. So
(20:29):
I mean the amount of time and money and resources
that's put into this camp gives these kids that wouldn't
normally have like a summer camp experience because they have cancer, diabetes,
or kidney failure. It gives them a medically safe summer
camp environment and it was amazing. I worked there for
three years and that's where I met my husband and
(20:51):
then found out that we actually went to school together.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
As in what school, high school, college.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
As in Liberty, as in as in that place.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
So he did look around and did find a wife,
just maybe not at Oh yeah did It.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Wasn't exactly there, but we went back there.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, what is his relationship with your notoriety? Now?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
He's such like a private guy. And the other thing
is I have never wanted to or tried to put
my family out in the wilderness like I am. So
he interacts with my social media stuff in the way
of like silent support in the background, you know, like
he listens to me, he goes with me to my stuff.
(21:34):
But he is very much like protector and quiet support
in the background. But he is definitely not a forefront guy.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I know you guys, when you're doing your job, you're
dialed in, you're focused. Have you had an I want
to say incident in an instance that it was so
positive that it made you emotional.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Oh for sure, all the time, all the time, and
not just you know at work, because like at work,
I'll have those moments all the time. Something that really
gets me is when the dads cry oh so sweet,
especially if you have a dad that's like really stoic
the whole day and then the baby comes out and
they start boohooon. Gets me. But then also like seeing
(22:16):
people out in the wild who have interacted with my
social media stuff, if there's anything that they had happened
to them that I helped them through, and hearing their stories.
It's so I mean, what an honor it is to
hear people's stories when they have had something that I
said impact them in any way.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
And I'm sure you've done it all. But when a
baby's coming out the opposite way, is that breached? Is
that breached?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Yeah, there's a few different ways that they can come out,
but breach is the is the butt first or feet first?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
So when that's happening, how does protocol change.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Well, a lot of obi's in our country are not
as comfortable with a baby coming out that way. If
you've had a baby before, vaginally and their breach you
may have. You may be able to find a doctor
who's like, hey, I'm okay with us attempting a vaginal delivery.
(23:15):
The concern is that the biggest part of a baby
is their head. So if you're coming out, but first
you can get at you know, every part of the
baby out except for their head, and then obviously that's
an emergency. But there's a lot of doctors who will
go straight to okay, your baby's breach where we need
to have a C section. So I've been in plenty
(23:35):
of vaginal breach deliveries. I think they're beautiful and awesome.
Of course they come with risk. Sea sections also come
with risk, So it's just about having a confident ob
provider who's going to help you through that process and
being able to make the decision that's right for you.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
One of my friends is a singer named Laura and Lena,
and her and I were talking about her having a
baby and she said, then there's a clip of it,
but she said when her baby was coming out out
that it was wrapped up completely in the umbilical cord,
like around her leg, around the baby's neck. How common
is that where that happens. Oh, it's that common.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of people who you know,
come in to the hospital with very traumatic stories of
like my baby last time had the cord wrapped around
its neck, and it's so so common. So I think
that there can be some trauma from hearing, like because
I think that people think that the baby's being strangled
(24:34):
or choked in some way, and it's not necessarily that
that's the danger. It's how so the umbilical cord is
like the baby's hose of life, right, So it's got
three vessels inside, and think of it like like a
scrunchy okay, so like it's nice and fluffy here. If
I pull it tight, then it there's less there's more
(24:58):
constriction on those blood vessels, so they can't they can't
get the blood, the oxygenated blood through and the deoxygenated
blood back. So it's more about how tightly wrapped that
that cord is. But thirty percent of babies have a
cord wrapped somewhere, and usually what will happen is like
baby's head comes out, and if we feel I say
(25:19):
we if the doctor or midwife feels that there's a
cord right there around the neck. What they'll do is
they'll just gently untangle and usually all is well. I'm
not saying that it can't be dangerous, right, So, if
they're tightly, tightly, tightly wrapped in there several times, or
if the cord is really short and they're like basically
(25:42):
bungee jumping from the from the placenta like, obviously that
could be not awesome. But most of the time, if
a baby has a cord wrapped somewhere, it's not a
huge deal. Can be, but not most of the time.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Have you been a part of one where it was
surprised twins?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
No, but it did happen at my hospital one time.
I wasn't in there, but it was somebody that came
in with no prenatal care and the first baby came
out and they said, uh oh there's another one.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, that's crazy. Uh so what do you think? And
you may not have official records on this. Have you
had a that's the fastest delivery we've ever had?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Oh? Man?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Yes, I mean sometimes people come in and they're riding
on what one butt cheek coming up and then they
deliver like as soon as they get there.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
It just comes out, just comes out.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
I did have the fastest induction I ever had was
someone who had been Sometimes you get put on hold,
like if you're if you're scheduled for an induction in
the hospital doesn't have either the staff or the room,
they'll leave you at home for your induction. But there
was a girl that had something called a fully balloon
(26:57):
placed in the office to prepare her for her induction.
It kind of just gets you going, does.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
It open I learned about this.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, yeah, it helps open it up. And usually when
you're like three to four ish centimeters, that fully balloon
will fall out and they tell you, all right, come
to the hospital if it falls out, because that means
that you're making change. Well, she came to the hospital
for her scheduled induction and it was still in but
she looked like she was not having a good time,
(27:26):
and she's like, get this thing out of me. I
was like, okay, so I go to pull it out,
and I pull it out. I was like, oh, my goodness,
you probably feel so much better, and she's like no,
and then the baby came out right after the fully balloon,
so it was just in there, not in place, and
then the baby came out right after that. I was like, oh, okay,
(27:46):
there's the baby.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
So the balloon was kind of clogging the hole until
the baby. Yeah yeah, what about the opposite side. Have
you had any really long ones?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Man?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah, the longest induction I ever had was five days.
Oh yeah, five days and ended in a C section.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Yeah. I think that there's a lot of people who
think that OB's are just itching to get you a
sea section. In my experience, it can be the exact opposite,
and sometimes like we're not doing them when you might
expect someone to have a C section. So a lot
(28:24):
of the providers where I work will give you the
best chance at a vaginal delivery that you can have,
while you know there's other It just depends on the doctor, right,
So sometimes you'll have a doctor that goes straight for
that at the first sign of trouble, and then you
have other doctors who will give you the biggest chance
at a vaginal delivery. But yeah, that was a long one.
(28:48):
I felt for.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And you but you went home multiple times, right, like
you weren't there at the beginning and end.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Right, correct? Correct?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Yeah, you're also to toothpicking your eyes open to stay
for five days. That would be crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Okay, my one of my really good friends, Amy has
asked me to ask you three questions. So these are
from number one, how did you get the best personality
in the world?
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Oh, my goodness, that's so sweet. I think that other
people have much cooler personalities than I. That's so kind.
I guess I have to attribute anything that I have
to my my parentals, but they.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Did a good job.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
And then also er trauma. I think that going through
stuff kind of gives you a different kind of sense
of humor that other people might not understand. So I
think that going through stuff can also make you who
you are.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Number two, how excited were you to meet doctor Beach
jim ten on your book tour. I don't know who
that is.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
It has that happened, hasn't happened yet. Okay, I'm so excited.
So she is a TikTok pediatrician. She's lovely and I
cannot wait to meet her. She's going to be like
hosting one of my book tour stops, so I'm very excited.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
The third question is tell her I'm sorry to hear
about her grandmother. Loss is so hard in her story
about her hanging on for life for so many times
made her smile on the inside and then cry because
she doesn't know you, but she felt like she does.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Oh that is so sweet. Yeah, my grandmother she passed
away last year. But we called her a possum or
the possum Lady because this lady kept acting like she
was gonna die and then pulling through, not just pulling
through like Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna eat a Bojuckle's biscuit,
you know, like she got kicked out of hospice. I
(30:36):
don't know how how often that happens, but like she
was in the hospice house or like, oh she's gonna
pass away tonight. She stayed there for months and they're like, okay,
you gotta go. So yeah, it was it was awesome
to have that extra time with her. But yeah, we
called her the possum Lady.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
The Bobby Cast will be right back. This is the
Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
More kind of clinical technical questions. What's something you wish
that every first time mom knew before going into labor
or something fundamental.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I think that this is kind of like a group
of things. But I think that having understanding of different
intervention choices that you may be offered can help help
you inform your decisions going forward. There's so many people
who sign up for an induction who have no clue
(31:37):
what that means. Sometimes I'll get somebody who signed up
for an induction and they say this is going to
take like twenty minutes, and I'm like, oh lord, we
are in trouble. Uh oh, you have no idea what's
about to happen to you. So I think that having
some basic understanding of both inductions and then also interventions
that may be offered to you can help. If that
(31:59):
intervention gets offered, you kind of have some sort of
basic understanding of it. So it's kind of like a
group of things.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
How long do you think it takes? And this is
all general, but until after someone has a baby, they
start to feel like themselves again.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
So individual. But for me, at least for me, I
had pre acclamsia with my second one, so I look
like a sweaty Danny DeVito whenever I was having a baby.
So the moment that I was unpregnant and began peeing
out the fluid that had plagued me for so long,
I felt like Julia Roberts a pretty woman. Okay, I
(32:36):
felt amazing almost immediately, to the point where my husband's like, damn,
like all right, I felt incredible. I may not have
looked awesome, but man, I felt so good. But then
in another pregnancy, it took me several weeks to feel
like I could put pants on or and they were
still maternity pants. But I think and I also have
(33:01):
friends that take months to feel like themselves. And sometimes
you just adapt to the new normal of what it
means to be the new you. And it doesn't mean
that that's anything wrong or bad, but sometimes there is
some grief associated with learning who the new view is
and kind of grieving the old you, whether that's your
(33:22):
body or your lifestyle or the things that you enjoyed
before it. Sometimes it just changes and you've got new
things that you enjoy differently.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Do you ever see parents semi panicking when they have
to leave because now they have to take the baby home?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, because you've got a new human
and we are now entrusting you to keep that human alive.
And there's so much about being a new parent that
you don't know you know, and having to figure that
out on your own is terrifying. I remember even when
I was I was an nurse and we're leaving the
(34:01):
hospital and I'm like, y'all trust me to do this
because I don't know anything about this, And yeah, I
think that in other countries there's a whole lot more
support postpartum to kind of make sure that you're getting
everything that you need. But in the US, we're like, here,
you go, take it home, it's yours.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Yeah, rub some dirt on it, get back to work.
It's crazy. I never really had a full understanding of
I think what a woman after she has birth should
fairly get as far as being able to stay off
work and be paid, like we have a law that
you can't be fired, but you're not getting paid, and
if you have to work hourly, like you're screwed. And
also support, like I never as a dude again, just
(34:43):
had my first kid. But I never really thought maternity
to leave was something I know, something I never really
thought of something you needed. No, you really need good
support there with you to help you for weeks. And
you're right. We are so far behind as a country
when it comes to covering our citizens maternity and paternity leave,
and I had no idea until we had a baby.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Yeah, as a even I mean, like I am a
nurse and delivering at the hospital where I work. You know,
whenever I had my baby, because I had to go
out early because I had preclamsia, I burned through, you know,
a few weeks of maternity leave and ended up having
to go back at like four and a half five
(35:25):
weeks postpartum, just because I needed to work to afford insurance.
So I I mean, and this is I'm a nurse
at the hospital where I have my baby. You know,
it's so crazy that I needed to do that in
this country where you think that we have amazing you know,
(35:46):
care and I think we have amazing care providers. We
have amazing people that want to give the care, but
the system is just so broken that you know, I
have patients that say, I need to be discharged tomorrow
because I have to go to work tomorrow. Like it's
wild that, you know, some people can't even take a
day off of work without feeling like they need to
(36:07):
get back in order to make money.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah, that's the whole conversation of Man, we sure do
buy a lot of bombs, but we can't take care
of our health our people with health care.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Right right.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
That's a second podcast that we'd probably do. And so
a couple of judgment things. I'd like for you to
judge me. On one, I chose, I chose not to
cut the cord because Okay.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
There's a judgment gainst judgment already coming through. Good, Okay,
continue to give me the reasoning.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
So they asked, would you like to cut the cord,
to which I responded, is there any literal benefit to
me cutting this cord? They said no, I said, I
choose not to feel metal going through human flesh. So
I will not cut the cord if you tell me
there is a something about this. For example, I did
(36:54):
skin to skin because they told I learned why that
was important. I said, if there's something about cutting the cord,
that is a bond to my daughter and myself if
I'm in, But if it's literally just me taking metal
and going through human flesh, out, So I did not
cut the cord. I will now accept your judgment.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Okay, do you regret it? Do you wish that you did?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
No? I don't want to cut through humans. I don't
want to cut through skin. I don't know the Bennett
what's the.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Skin though, it's just.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Like it's mean passage.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
It's me, you know, Okay, I can do that.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
If they would have said you need to chew through
it so you can really feel the love, I would
have chewed through it before I would have cut it
with scissors, because at least chewing through it had been
something primal. And yeah, I totally passed. How many dads
pass on cutting the cord more than more than you
would think.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
But I do often talk the bin to it sometimes
because I think that there's a lot of dads who
aren't expecting that question or like we're thinking about it
and then we're like, okay, you've tid to cut the cord,
are you ready? And then they're like whoa, whoa, that's
not my job. And then we you know, encourage. So
what I like to do is say, where's your phone.
(38:03):
We're documenting this moment, you know. So I love to
video that moment because it is sometimes funny because they're
like like making a face, but you know, it can
be a right of passage. We had a dad last
week or the week before that was like, well I
didn't cut it with the last one. I was like
(38:23):
new tradition, right, you can cut it with this one.
So but I'd say five percent of dads turn us down.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
That's all. Yeah, Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
We're very persuasive.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
What if I would have said I will choose through
the cord? Is that allowed?
Speaker 1 (38:41):
I mean, I've never seen that happen. I think you
would definitely get some looks. I mean, I don't think
I can stop you from doing that. I might have
my own thoughts about that, but I would keep them
to myself. I'm all about informed and empowered decision making.
So even if you decide to do something that I wouldn't,
(39:03):
I'd say you do you booth? That's what I'd say.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Man, that would be crazy to watch someone chew through
a chord, like through the damn Billy. That would be
I would get my phone out and want to record
that just for the sake.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Yeah, let's take a quick pause for a message from
our sponsor, and we're back on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
What are the rules on phones in the room? Because
I did get in our delivery the baby landing on
my wife's chest, but I didn't know the rules, so
I was just kind of wasn't hiding it, But I
knew there were places I didn't need to be. Are
there rules?
Speaker 1 (39:43):
There are rules. I will say this. I will say
no one can make you do anything you don't want
to do for me personally, So the rules around recording
a birth are all about liability for the hospital and
everyone involved. For me if I see and I might
(40:06):
get in trouble for saying this, but like if I
see someone recording during a birth, I keep my mouth shut,
like I don't I don't personally care, And what I'll
tell them is like, hey, I'm not gonna say anything.
You might have other people that do. Now it does
get a little tricky for me because I very much
(40:26):
like to not be known where I work or like
you know, because that can put me in a dangerous
safety situation. So I I'm starting to think more about like, hey,
if somebody puts you on the internet like you were
in your outfit and your badge, like that can be
a thing. But I try to hold myself to the
standard where it doesn't matter if I'm being recorded or not.
(40:49):
I'm going to act the exact same. I'm intervene in
the way that I need to intervene. If something goes sideways,
and I feel like sometimes if you have a situation
where those going sideways and the people in the room
who are working at the hospital are more concerned about
whether you're recording or not instead of doing what needs
to happen for the patient, that can look a little
(41:12):
yucky too. So I personally don't care, but a lot
of people do.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Something I've had to learn about recently a safe sleep.
I just thought, if you got a baby and it
goes asleep, if you want to go to sleep with
it, it makes sense. I can't because if I fall over
the baby, I don't sleep at all. If I have
the baby, it doesn't matter, I don't sleep at all.
What are the rules of safe sleep?
Speaker 1 (41:33):
So there, I mean, the main thing is not having
the baby in the bed with you. There's all sorts
of like different rules that you know, people sometimes do
do try to sleep with their babies still, and so
there are rules around that also. But I'll tell you
(41:56):
that people who would never expect to have to have
like a tragic thing happen. It happens. And so me
as labor and delivery nurse who also goes down to
the emergency department when we have infants pass away. I
(42:17):
go down there and help them kind of make shadow
boxes or handprints and footprints of infants that you know
they've they've been born. They go home, they're with their parents,
and then something tragic happens. They come back in and
the baby has passed away for whatever reason. I will
tell you that most of those are co sleeping accidents.
(42:39):
Wow and yeah, and it's it's parents that never thought,
never thought that it would happen. So, and I'll say,
like before I was alber and delivery nurse, I co
slept with my kids because I was like, oh, they're
sleeping cool, and I like put them on my chest
and then have like pillows on either side of me
just so that I didn't turn over. I would never
if I had another baby, which I won't, but if
(43:00):
I did, I would never do it just because of
what I have experienced as a nurse in helping people
memorialize those babies. So it's absolutely tragic when it happens.
And I think that the biggest thing is making sure
that they're not in the bed with you, that they're
on their back and you don't have extra stuff around
(43:24):
them like pillows and blankets and stuff like that. Because
they can breathe in their own air and then lose
some oxygen that way.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Wow. A couple more questions for you before we go.
What do you think is the perfect hospital bag the way?
I don't know what you can call that the birth bag?
What do we need?
Speaker 1 (43:45):
That's a good question, and it depends on who you
are as a person. I talked about this in the book.
But it can be so individualized. And you can also
show up to the hospital titties in the wind, not
a stitch of clothes on you, and we got you.
We can take care of you. We've got diapers for
you and the baby, you know. Uh. But biggest thing chargers. Man.
(44:07):
I can't tell you how many people come in and say, uh, oh,
forgot my charger, and we don't keep chargers.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
But I'll say, if wearing your own clothes is important
to you, you can bring your own birth gown. You
can wear whatever you want. We have mama and baby diapers,
so you don't really have to worry about that if
you have. I really love it when people bring in
they make these like little fans with like like posable
(44:33):
legs that you can like wrap around the hospital bed
or kind of stand up. Those are cool that people
bring playlists. And also if you're making a playlist, do
not just do kumbay all music that you think will
relax you, because I can't tell you how many people
make a kumbay a playlist and they get so angry
(44:55):
at the playlist when it's not helping them get through.
I mean, we need like DMX, we need something like
something else, you know, some hype up music.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Make a few.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Playlists in case you don't like the one that you've made.
I did have a girl one time that played Twinkle
Tweak a Little Star for.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Twelve hours no way. Yes, yes, that's like baby shark
vibes over and over again, like you can't shake it.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Yeah, I thought I was gonna go crazy, but I
held it together. We got through it. But that was
what That's what got her through. What else can I
tell you? Uh, we have scratchy towels, like smaller scratchy towels.
So if you want to bring your own towels, that's cool.
You don't have to your own pillow our pillows. Our
(45:41):
pillows are not gonna cut it. However, you can make
your environment in the hospital feel more like home, whether
that's pillows, blankets, fan since if you have like essential
oils or whatever you want to do, I think that
it's more about making your environment feel like home instead
of having to make sure you bring forty seven baby
(46:04):
outfits or all that kind of stuff, all that after
stuff you don't really need it. Also, don't don't bring
your stroller to labor and deliver. We're not going to stroll.
We're not going to stroll. You can bring it late,
you can bring it later, whenever you're whenever you're leaving
or whatever, but you don't need it. People sometimes bring
in like everything that they've brought for the first eighteen
(46:28):
years of this child's life into the hospital. We don't
need all that.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
You're right about the blankets and the pillows. We luckily
took those and very much needed. The pillows were small
in the hospital. The blankets were kind of scratchy. But man,
it is so cold, and it's not my job to complain,
but I was freezing. I was trying to get a
little nap in. It's hard for me to get a
lit old nap in because it was so cold in
that room.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
Yep, absolutely, and it's always freezing.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
And the couches kind of sucked for me to sleep on. Huh,
you know it, it's true, not made for the man
at all. Apparently.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
No. There they make like dad bed blow up things.
Now have you seen that?
Speaker 2 (47:05):
No, that's something you buy and take with you. Yeah,
oh I would recommend that.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Then.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Okay, here's my advice for the bag. Put in whatever
she's talking about, because you'll get there and they have
like this large pillow that flips down. That's kind of
the bed. But I'm pretty tall and it was Again,
it's no comparison, but it's pretty miserable for me, you know.
And so yeah, for the dead, take the little, take
the blow up.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Yeah. I Also there's a dad that one time figured
out that his gaming system would not hook up to
our TV. He went out to Best Buying's not a
fifty five inch screen TV, No way, no, yes, And
then Karma said guess what because when he opened it
up it was cracked. I said, ha ha, that's what
(47:47):
you get. Don't try to bring your fifty five inch
screen TV in there so you can play your freaking
whatever you play on there's wild because you won't be
there long ta yeah oh yeah, yeah, that stuff aggravates me,
but it does happen. Don't do that, Don't be that guy.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Congratulations on the book. What is it you want people
to take from this book?
Speaker 1 (48:10):
So my goal is that this book helps you prepare
for your birth in a way that builds this cocoon
of safety around you, so that no matter what happens,
you still feel informed, empowered, respected, heard. I think that
a lot of people plan their whole pregnancy for a
birth that's going to check off a birth plan, and
(48:30):
it's so much less about the checkboxes and more about
who you are as a person, what you need to
feel safe, what you need to feel heard and respected.
And so each of the chapters in this book in
the first half go over a different vibe that you
can think about for yourself so that you can personalize
your birth experience so that if everything checks off everything
(48:53):
on your birth plan, awesome, wonderful, we still have this
cocoon of safety that makes it even better. But then
also if your birth goes completely off the rails, that
you still can leave that experience having had a more
positive experience than if you didn't think about all those
other things.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
You said, you swaddleed chickens, you have chickens in your house, I.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
Have, well, yeah I have right now, they're outside, but
I have a I built, I built, someone built for
me a very fancy chicken coop out there. But up
until very recently, I had two chickens at my house.
I've had them in my house for years, and then
we built this very fancy lady coop. I wanted to
see if they liked it. And they've been having a
(49:35):
great time out there. But they wore diapers. Did you
know that chickens had no idea? Yes, I would give
them baths, but they were like special needs chickens, so
they got brought in for special needs reasons.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
And so you domesticated special needs chickens.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Yeah, And I would have people reaching out to because
I know that I would do that. And I had
somebody give me a blind chick who is being picked on,
and I loved on her up until she died, and
I had her. I called it her sister. Her sister
was her seeing eyecat, you know, because they would just
act like cats in my house. They just walk around
(50:14):
and so her sister Grits would show her where the
food is and they were just like at the hip
all day long, just walking around. So yeah, I'd taken
ones that have been maybe abused by their fellow Chicken
family members, and then I bring them inside and they
live a life of luxury.
Speaker 2 (50:34):
That's awesome. Jen, thank you so much for the time.
Congratulations on your book.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
I can't wait for you to meet. Hold On, hold
on we find the name doctor Nope, yeah, doctor beat
Jim Ten, I'm really looking for it. Yes, me too, Jen,
thank you, congratulations, and hopefully we'll run into each other
sometime soon.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
All right, thanks Bobby, all right by Jen.
Speaker 4 (50:57):
Thanks for listening to a Bobby Cast production.
But she looked like she was not having a good time,
and she's like, get this thing out of me. I
was like, okay, so I go to pull it out,
and I pull it out. I was like, oh, my goodness,
you probably feel so much better.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And she's like, now, today's guest is Jen Hamilton. She
is wildly popular. She's a labor and delivery nurse with
over a decade of experience and a massive online following.
I told some of my friends that I had Jen
Hamilton coming on and they freaked out. She's that popular
and her whole goal is to pull back the cart
(00:39):
and on what really happens in the delivery room. She
has a new book out now called Birth Vibes, and
it's all about ditching the perfect birth plan and learning
how to actually advocate for yourself when things maybe don't
go the way that you expected. And so we're going
to talk about a lot of that. And I just
had a baby, and again, I cannot emphasize to you
how excited so many of my friends were about this interview.
(01:01):
And you'll see she's awesome. We talk labor surprises, postpartum realities,
and the biggest myths about birth and let's do it
now here. She has the great, the funny, the hilarious,
the knowledgeable Jen Hamilton. Hey Jen, I'm Bobby. How are you.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Hey, Bobby, nice to see you.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I'm gonna start with we just had a baby, first baby,
so congratulations, thank you for six weeks six six week baby,
very very small baby.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You're in it. You're in it right now.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, we're in it. Which is how you came into
my world is My wife is a massive fan. And
we were, you know, just talking about what I found interesting,
and she said, you should really talk to Jen Hamilton
because I have to tell you I have a fascination
now with labor and delivery nurse nurses because we had
the greatest one. So that that is still what you do, right?
(01:51):
Is that your everyday job?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, that's my everyday job. So I still work, I
still do the stuff, and it's just like the thing
I love doing the most.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
We went into the hospital and I didn't really know
what to expect other than what friends had told me.
And I never realized how important and how comforting a
great labor and delivery nurse is because I thought we
had all these appointments with the doctor and the doctor
was great, But the doctor just comes into the close.
(02:23):
It's the closer like it's you guys that do all
the work, all the making us feel comfortable, all the
being there. I did not know that until this trip,
and so we had the greatest labor and delivery nurse.
And is it my first question to you, it's kind
of a selfish one. If I wanted to send a
gift up to her because she was awesome? Is that okay?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Absolutely? I mean I think that's that I didn't expect
when of our I kind of switched from er to
labor and delivery because we never got gifts in the ear.
I'll tell you that. But yeah, I think that it's
such a nice thing to do. I'll tell you what
means probably the most to her is if you have
any pictures with her in it. I think that that's
so I love getting pictures of you know, of me
(03:06):
and action. So if you have any pictures, and then
also you can nominate her for like a Daisy Award,
if you know, if she really made your experience awesome.
It's kind of like a way that labor and delivery
nurses can get recognized. But then also if you just
want to give her something tangible we do we do
like snacks and things, and so sometimes people will do that,
(03:28):
but you absolutely don't. I know that. She would have
me tell you you don't have to do any of
those things. But it's so nice that you're thinking about that.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, I you know, don't feel like I have to.
That's why I want to. I'm I'm the kind of
person if I'm told I have to, then I definitely
don't want to do it at all. Right, But she
was such a game changer because one, she was great
for my wife, meaning it was always calm. Her bedside
manner was amazing. But when it was time, like business time,
and I did a lot of learning over the past
(03:57):
six or seven months, I didn't even know what you know,
being dilated, I know any of that, right, So whenever
it was like time to go like ten centimeters dilated like,
she was like focused, business like. She did the work,
not that the doctor didn't, but she was there the
whole time, from the beginning until the end. How many
do you think you've done births?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Yeah, uh, man, I've been doing it for eight years,
and you know, working every weekend and so sometimes and
sometimes you're in births that it's not actually your patient either,
So maybe like at least three a day that I'm in,
So I don't know. I don't even know the math
(04:37):
on that. A whole bunch of babies, for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I feel like everyone thinks their baby is cute. Are
there cuter babies than others?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I'll say that some babies have a rough ride, you know,
they come into the world and they they look a
little road hard, put up what kind of thing. Sometimes
they're a little swollen in their face or bruised or
you know. And then some babies just shoot out and
they look like they, you know, were sent by an angel,
you know. But uh, yeah, some babies have it rough
(05:09):
coming in.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You did er before labor and delivery not and I
understand it's not the same, but not the same at all.
Were you doing a completely different kind of anybody that
comes in you were taking care of as a nurse.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, So in the ER, I did not want to
take care of anybody who was pregnant because I was
afraid that they were going to birth in front of me,
and I knew nothing about that. So EER nurses are
very allergic to pregnant people, like we very much want
them to go somewhere else. So being on labor and delivery,
it was very much a learning curve and having to
(05:42):
figure out this whole new specialty. But that's I think
the beauty of nursing is that you can go from
doing one thing to doing something completely different but still
have the same degree.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Whenever you started doing labor and delivery, did it feel
like something that you had always meant to do or
was it something you were good at.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I think it was something that I didn't expect to
be good at. Whenever I was in nursing school, I
remember on my labor and delivery clinical thinking like this,
yere is a wet place to work, you know. That
was what I remembered most, is like, holy cow, there's
a lot of fluid here. So I wasn't particularly like
(06:25):
excited about it whenever I was in nursing school and
me going from the er to labor and delivery was
really honestly just try to trying to escape the er
because it was just so emotionally, physically everything a lot.
And so I think that going into labor and delivery
(06:45):
was something that I was unexpectedly excited that I was
okay at because I think that what I was looking
for was that connection that I had with people that
I didn't really get to do in the er.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Do you feel the need to make it special for
every person even though you're doing three a day, and
to you it is it's not just a job, but
you're doing a lot of them, so they all aren't
so precious, But to make sure they know how precious
it is, Like, is that something you have to do.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I absolutely feel it's such an honor to be with
every single person, and I really take it seriously in
order to make it special for especially the people who
may feel neglected or like that they wouldn't normally get
that experience. So, for instance, someone who doesn't speak English.
(07:43):
One of the things that I love to do is
I give every patient that I care for promises, And
one of those promises is I promised to speak to
you in the same way that I would someone who
speaks my language, so that you feel cared for as
a friend. So I know that the interpreters where I
work sometimes get a little probably frustrated with me because
(08:04):
I don't just want to know, like, what how was
your pregnancy? Do you have any medical problems? I want
to know, like what's your favorite color? Like what do
you like to eat? What do you like to do,
so that I can make that experience as special for
them as I possibly can have.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
You had people come in and you were their nurse
and they knew who you were from social media.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Oh, it happens so often now. Whenever it first started happening,
it was kind of like that moment where I was like,
oh man, this is this is real. Like, I you know,
there's a lot of people who know me now, but
now i'd have to say that in all the rooms
that I go in, because I'm also a charge nurse
and I work in ther like I work in a
lot of different places, I'd say that there's at least
(08:47):
three patients that I'll see at some point in my
day that do recognize me. And I find that such
an honor, like to see on the back end, like
the effect that you know, me talking about labor and
delivery has on people in real life, and so it's
such an honor to meet these people.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
How did it start for you online?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Oh? Yeah, So in the pandemic time, I had a
lot of boredom and I was just trying to I mean,
I think we were all kind of just like homeschooling
our kids at home and really bored. And so I
had a friend that said, hey, why don't you download TikTok,
like this is a really fun app. And I really
didn't have any interest in downloading another app because I
(09:33):
was already too much online, but since we had a pandemic,
I was like, Okay, I'll do that. So I first
just wanted to be just watching videos, and then my
very first video was me pressing the plus button to
see what that was all about at the bottom. But
it never started with labor and delivery either. I just
(09:55):
kind of started making silly videos about being a mom
or being a nurse. And then I recognized how many
patients were getting their prenatal education from TikTok, and I
saw the effects of when they were getting that from
somebody who maybe didn't have their best interest at heart,
and then thought, if they're getting it from TikTok, I
(10:18):
might as well be here helping them, So I started
talking more about labor and delivery too.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Did you have a specific video that popped off the
most It made you feel like there is something to
this so you can help people?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Well, I think that the videos that have popped off
along the way definitely are videos that maybe didn't have
a lot to do with labor and delivery, but then
they helped me find people who who needed some labor
and delivery content. So I think that one of them
was me swaddling my chickens because I like to swaddle
(10:52):
things as a labor and delivery nurse. So you know,
one of those videos had like, I don't know, forty
three million views or something crazy, and so a lot
of people find me in other ways that don't have
to specifically do with the labor and delivery education of it,
but then they're like, oh, she also does this other thing.
So I did a poll on my Instagram. I was like, hey,
(11:14):
how many of you guys follow me because labor because
of labor and delivery, and then how many of you
follow me for something else? And it was like the
split was like thirteen percent labor and delivery eighty seven
percent something else. So like, people find me mostly through
other things and then figure out later that I do
labor and delivery.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I see a lot of things about parenthood now that
I am a brand new dad in my algorithm and
we swaddle our baby and she loves it. But I
will see people say swaddling is bad because it restrains them.
We don't subscribe to that, But what are your thoughts
on that?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
So I think everything in moderation. There's new stuff coming
out right now that says it's swaddle is not the
most awesome. However, it is cute. It is very cute,
and sometimes it can help your baby to at least
be soothed or comforted, like if they're not having a
great time. So I think that as long as you're
(12:14):
not like, you know, swallowing every moment of every day,
you know, I think that there can be some nice
stuff with it too.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I'd say we're probably about total thirty minutes a day
in the swaddle.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Yeah. Yeah, Sometimes they just liked I like to be swaddled,
you know, somebody swaddle me.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I was watching a video that I thought was really compelling,
pretty moving, and someone had I guess, left a message
for you or maybe in DMS about like postpartum that
they weren't doing well. And again, I have no experience
with this until the last few weeks or so, so
I've been actually been talking about it with my friends too,
and I have one friend whose wife was extremely depressed.
(12:58):
We've been very fortunate as my wife been very emotional postpartum,
but hers has been very, very very positive, like so
happy that it makes her very very emotional. I guess
my question is, with someone who deals with it a lot,
is it just a crap she you know what's going
to happen after you have the baby.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
It really just honestly depends, and you never know how
it's going to affect you until you meet yourself postpartum.
I'll say that I think, at least in my personal perspective,
I think that there's a lot of postpartum depression and
anxiety that begins from not having an awesome birth experience
(13:39):
or one that you truly understand, or having a lot
of questions around what happened to you. So I try
to do my part with the patients that I take
care of and not only making sure that they fully
understand what's happening, that they have autonomy over their choices
and over their body, but also helping them understand what
(14:01):
things they may experience in the postpartum period as far
as looking for those signs of you know, those intrusive thoughts,
and sometimes you think of things that you never ever
thought you would, Like what if I put my baby
in the freezer? Like, of course that's something you're not
gonna act on, but it could be if if you
(14:23):
kind of let these things linger. So I let that
kind of be like the the trigger to say, hey,
I'm having thoughts that I never thought that I would,
Or like if you feel like you're not even able
to relax or you're not able to feel joy in
these moments that you feel like you that you normally
would that letting your people around you know how you're feeling,
(14:48):
especially letting your care team know how you're feeling, and
that there are resources available for people. One of the
resources that my sister had to use was something called
Postpartum Support Internet or PSI. They have an incredible network
of resources to help new moms who are struggling with
these feelings be able to get connected to those resources
(15:11):
and find a way out. Because yes, postpartum depression and
anxiety and sometimes even psychosis does affect a lot of people,
but it doesn't mean that it has to take hold
and become such a huge part of your life. Like
there are resources and the sooner that you recognize that
(15:33):
you're feeling off, and the sooner you get help, the
sooner you can feel better.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Is that something too, where if you go and you're
pursuing medication, that there's not like a single medication that
fixes it, right? Is it something that at times you
may have to bounce around until you find the right thing.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, I mean there's definitely some that they that they
can start with or that are more popular than others.
But the beauty of getting help is that your care
provider can work with you to figureigure out what the
right combination, if there is a combination or the right medication,
the right resources that are available so that you can
find what works for you. It's not always a one
(16:10):
size fits all.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
And we're back on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
We were talking about your book. So when did you
decide you wanted to write a book and how do
you know where to start?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Oh, that's a good question. I didn't know that I
wanted to write a book, and it wasn't until I
had publishers reaching out saying like, hey, we think you
should write a book that I kind of my first
reaction was like, I don't even write in a journal.
I don't know that you want me to write a book.
And through that process, I had a friend, had a
(16:52):
few friends that had written books and kind of got
me with the right people to kind of have my
back through this process, and I wrote a sample and
so that sample was just like one chapter of a
book that I hoped to write, and through that being
able to kind of think about stories that I would
(17:12):
want to tell or themes that I would want people
to know. And it was so cathartic in being able
to write down things that it actually happened to me
in real life. Of course everything is like hip a compliant,
but these are all real things that I've experienced as
a nurse. But being able to write those down and
(17:35):
be able to get those out of my head, I
feel like is a form of therapy for me. And
then also my publisher giving me the freedom to talk
in my book how I talk in real life was
so awesome because like one of the first things that
I had written in my book that got edits back.
(17:58):
So what I did, what I would do is like
I would write it chapter and then I'd send it
to a book coach who would go through and kind
of edit it for you know, grammar and structure and everything.
And one of the first edits I got back from
her was that I had written titties in the wind,
and she crossed it out and put naked. And then
I was like, absolutely not, absolutely not, it is titties
(18:20):
in the wind. Okay. So I write how I talk.
I write how I talk to my patients. And so
having a publisher that could see past like the formality
the professionalism of what you might normally see in a
healthcare book, to be able to talk to people how
I normally do was so awesome and so freeing. So
(18:41):
I'm very happy with what we ended with.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Where did you grow up?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I'm in North Carolina, so I've always been born raised
here in central North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
And where'd you go to college for nursing school?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I went to Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, which has
a lot to controversial that the fall all the yes,
I'm not like I'm not like them. Okay, I need
to say that.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Were you there when that happened?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
I was there when the little one fallwell junior when
he took over. Okay, and I knew that when we
so every every week we'd have to go to church,
like three times a week. That was mandatory. So Monday, Wednesday,
Friday called convocation, we'd have to go there. So I
get there and broke its up in front of everybody
(19:33):
and says to the boys, look around. If you can't
find a wife here, you're a loser. I was like, Oh,
this is different. So I knew that. I knew there
was some weirdness going on from the jump, but you
never know to like if you ever watch those documentaries
or listening to the podcast about it, who they have
(19:54):
some hobbies.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah, that's the pull boys thing right that?
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
The boy Yeah that's wild. Did you meet your husband there?
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I met my husband at Victory Junction Camp. Have you
ever heard of it?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
No?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
So it's a it's a camp for kids with chronic
and terminal illnesses. And we were both camp counselors there.
It's a NASCAR camp, so it's it was made by
Richard Petty's son, Kyle Petty in honor of there of
Kyle Petty's son Adam, And it's like Disney World. So
(20:29):
I mean the amount of time and money and resources
that's put into this camp gives these kids that wouldn't
normally have like a summer camp experience because they have cancer, diabetes,
or kidney failure. It gives them a medically safe summer
camp environment and it was amazing. I worked there for
three years and that's where I met my husband and
(20:51):
then found out that we actually went to school together.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
As in what school, high school, college.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
As in Liberty, as in as in that place.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
So he did look around and did find a wife,
just maybe not at Oh yeah did It.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Wasn't exactly there, but we went back there.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, what is his relationship with your notoriety? Now?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
He's such like a private guy. And the other thing
is I have never wanted to or tried to put
my family out in the wilderness like I am. So
he interacts with my social media stuff in the way
of like silent support in the background, you know, like
he listens to me, he goes with me to my stuff.
(21:34):
But he is very much like protector and quiet support
in the background. But he is definitely not a forefront guy.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I know you guys, when you're doing your job, you're
dialed in, you're focused. Have you had an I want
to say incident in an instance that it was so
positive that it made you emotional.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Oh for sure, all the time, all the time, and
not just you know at work, because like at work,
I'll have those moments all the time. Something that really
gets me is when the dads cry oh so sweet,
especially if you have a dad that's like really stoic
the whole day and then the baby comes out and
they start boohooon. Gets me. But then also like seeing
(22:16):
people out in the wild who have interacted with my
social media stuff, if there's anything that they had happened
to them that I helped them through, and hearing their stories.
It's so I mean, what an honor it is to
hear people's stories when they have had something that I
said impact them in any way.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
And I'm sure you've done it all. But when a
baby's coming out the opposite way, is that breached? Is
that breached?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Yeah, there's a few different ways that they can come out,
but breach is the is the butt first or feet first?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
So when that's happening, how does protocol change.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Well, a lot of obi's in our country are not
as comfortable with a baby coming out that way. If
you've had a baby before, vaginally and their breach you
may have. You may be able to find a doctor
who's like, hey, I'm okay with us attempting a vaginal delivery.
(23:15):
The concern is that the biggest part of a baby
is their head. So if you're coming out, but first
you can get at you know, every part of the
baby out except for their head, and then obviously that's
an emergency. But there's a lot of doctors who will
go straight to okay, your baby's breach where we need
to have a C section. So I've been in plenty
(23:35):
of vaginal breach deliveries. I think they're beautiful and awesome.
Of course they come with risk. Sea sections also come
with risk, So it's just about having a confident ob
provider who's going to help you through that process and
being able to make the decision that's right for you.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
One of my friends is a singer named Laura and Lena,
and her and I were talking about her having a
baby and she said, then there's a clip of it,
but she said when her baby was coming out out
that it was wrapped up completely in the umbilical cord,
like around her leg, around the baby's neck. How common
is that where that happens. Oh, it's that common.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of people who you know,
come in to the hospital with very traumatic stories of
like my baby last time had the cord wrapped around
its neck, and it's so so common. So I think
that there can be some trauma from hearing, like because
I think that people think that the baby's being strangled
(24:34):
or choked in some way, and it's not necessarily that
that's the danger. It's how so the umbilical cord is
like the baby's hose of life, right, So it's got
three vessels inside, and think of it like like a
scrunchy okay, so like it's nice and fluffy here. If
I pull it tight, then it there's less there's more
(24:58):
constriction on those blood vessels, so they can't they can't
get the blood, the oxygenated blood through and the deoxygenated
blood back. So it's more about how tightly wrapped that
that cord is. But thirty percent of babies have a
cord wrapped somewhere, and usually what will happen is like
baby's head comes out, and if we feel I say
(25:19):
we if the doctor or midwife feels that there's a
cord right there around the neck. What they'll do is
they'll just gently untangle and usually all is well. I'm
not saying that it can't be dangerous, right, So, if
they're tightly, tightly, tightly wrapped in there several times, or
if the cord is really short and they're like basically
(25:42):
bungee jumping from the from the placenta like, obviously that
could be not awesome. But most of the time, if
a baby has a cord wrapped somewhere, it's not a
huge deal. Can be, but not most of the time.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Have you been a part of one where it was
surprised twins?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
No, but it did happen at my hospital one time.
I wasn't in there, but it was somebody that came
in with no prenatal care and the first baby came
out and they said, uh oh there's another one.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, that's crazy. Uh so what do you think? And
you may not have official records on this. Have you
had a that's the fastest delivery we've ever had?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Oh? Man?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Yes, I mean sometimes people come in and they're riding
on what one butt cheek coming up and then they
deliver like as soon as they get there.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
It just comes out, just comes out.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
I did have the fastest induction I ever had was
someone who had been Sometimes you get put on hold,
like if you're if you're scheduled for an induction in
the hospital doesn't have either the staff or the room,
they'll leave you at home for your induction. But there
was a girl that had something called a fully balloon
(26:57):
placed in the office to prepare her for her induction.
It kind of just gets you going, does.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
It open I learned about this.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Yeah, yeah, it helps open it up. And usually when
you're like three to four ish centimeters, that fully balloon
will fall out and they tell you, all right, come
to the hospital if it falls out, because that means
that you're making change. Well, she came to the hospital
for her scheduled induction and it was still in but
she looked like she was not having a good time,
(27:26):
and she's like, get this thing out of me. I
was like, okay, so I go to pull it out,
and I pull it out. I was like, oh, my goodness,
you probably feel so much better, and she's like no,
and then the baby came out right after the fully balloon,
so it was just in there, not in place, and
then the baby came out right after that. I was like, oh, okay,
(27:46):
there's the baby.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
So the balloon was kind of clogging the hole until
the baby. Yeah yeah, what about the opposite side. Have
you had any really long ones?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Man?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah, the longest induction I ever had was five days.
Oh yeah, five days and ended in a C section.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Yeah. I think that there's a lot of people who
think that OB's are just itching to get you a
sea section. In my experience, it can be the exact opposite,
and sometimes like we're not doing them when you might
expect someone to have a C section. So a lot
(28:24):
of the providers where I work will give you the
best chance at a vaginal delivery that you can have,
while you know there's other It just depends on the doctor, right,
So sometimes you'll have a doctor that goes straight for
that at the first sign of trouble, and then you
have other doctors who will give you the biggest chance
at a vaginal delivery. But yeah, that was a long one.
(28:48):
I felt for.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And you but you went home multiple times, right, like
you weren't there at the beginning and end.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Right, correct? Correct?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Yeah, you're also to toothpicking your eyes open to stay
for five days. That would be crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Okay, my one of my really good friends, Amy has
asked me to ask you three questions. So these are
from number one, how did you get the best personality
in the world?
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Oh, my goodness, that's so sweet. I think that other
people have much cooler personalities than I. That's so kind.
I guess I have to attribute anything that I have
to my my parentals, but they.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Did a good job.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
And then also er trauma. I think that going through
stuff kind of gives you a different kind of sense
of humor that other people might not understand. So I
think that going through stuff can also make you who
you are.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Number two, how excited were you to meet doctor Beach
jim ten on your book tour. I don't know who
that is.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
It has that happened, hasn't happened yet. Okay, I'm so excited.
So she is a TikTok pediatrician. She's lovely and I
cannot wait to meet her. She's going to be like
hosting one of my book tour stops, so I'm very excited.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
The third question is tell her I'm sorry to hear
about her grandmother. Loss is so hard in her story
about her hanging on for life for so many times
made her smile on the inside and then cry because
she doesn't know you, but she felt like she does.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Oh that is so sweet. Yeah, my grandmother she passed
away last year. But we called her a possum or
the possum Lady because this lady kept acting like she
was gonna die and then pulling through, not just pulling
through like Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna eat a Bojuckle's biscuit,
you know, like she got kicked out of hospice. I
(30:36):
don't know how how often that happens, but like she
was in the hospice house or like, oh she's gonna
pass away tonight. She stayed there for months and they're like, okay,
you gotta go. So yeah, it was it was awesome
to have that extra time with her. But yeah, we
called her the possum Lady.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
The Bobby Cast will be right back. This is the
Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
More kind of clinical technical questions. What's something you wish
that every first time mom knew before going into labor
or something fundamental.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I think that this is kind of like a group
of things. But I think that having understanding of different
intervention choices that you may be offered can help help
you inform your decisions going forward. There's so many people
who sign up for an induction who have no clue
(31:37):
what that means. Sometimes I'll get somebody who signed up
for an induction and they say this is going to
take like twenty minutes, and I'm like, oh lord, we
are in trouble. Uh oh, you have no idea what's
about to happen to you. So I think that having
some basic understanding of both inductions and then also interventions
that may be offered to you can help. If that
(31:59):
intervention gets offered, you kind of have some sort of
basic understanding of it. So it's kind of like a
group of things.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
How long do you think it takes? And this is
all general, but until after someone has a baby, they
start to feel like themselves again.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
So individual. But for me, at least for me, I
had pre acclamsia with my second one, so I look
like a sweaty Danny DeVito whenever I was having a baby.
So the moment that I was unpregnant and began peeing
out the fluid that had plagued me for so long,
I felt like Julia Roberts a pretty woman. Okay, I
(32:36):
felt amazing almost immediately, to the point where my husband's like, damn,
like all right, I felt incredible. I may not have
looked awesome, but man, I felt so good. But then
in another pregnancy, it took me several weeks to feel
like I could put pants on or and they were
still maternity pants. But I think and I also have
(33:01):
friends that take months to feel like themselves. And sometimes
you just adapt to the new normal of what it
means to be the new you. And it doesn't mean
that that's anything wrong or bad, but sometimes there is
some grief associated with learning who the new view is
and kind of grieving the old you, whether that's your
(33:22):
body or your lifestyle or the things that you enjoyed
before it. Sometimes it just changes and you've got new
things that you enjoy differently.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Do you ever see parents semi panicking when they have
to leave because now they have to take the baby home?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, because you've got a new human
and we are now entrusting you to keep that human alive.
And there's so much about being a new parent that
you don't know you know, and having to figure that
out on your own is terrifying. I remember even when
I was I was an nurse and we're leaving the
(34:01):
hospital and I'm like, y'all trust me to do this
because I don't know anything about this, And yeah, I
think that in other countries there's a whole lot more
support postpartum to kind of make sure that you're getting
everything that you need. But in the US, we're like, here,
you go, take it home, it's yours.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Yeah, rub some dirt on it, get back to work.
It's crazy. I never really had a full understanding of
I think what a woman after she has birth should
fairly get as far as being able to stay off
work and be paid, like we have a law that
you can't be fired, but you're not getting paid, and
if you have to work hourly, like you're screwed. And
also support, like I never as a dude again, just
(34:43):
had my first kid. But I never really thought maternity
to leave was something I know, something I never really
thought of something you needed. No, you really need good
support there with you to help you for weeks. And
you're right. We are so far behind as a country
when it comes to covering our citizens maternity and paternity leave,
and I had no idea until we had a baby.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Yeah, as a even I mean, like I am a
nurse and delivering at the hospital where I work. You know,
whenever I had my baby, because I had to go
out early because I had preclamsia, I burned through, you know,
a few weeks of maternity leave and ended up having
to go back at like four and a half five
(35:25):
weeks postpartum, just because I needed to work to afford insurance.
So I I mean, and this is I'm a nurse
at the hospital where I have my baby. You know,
it's so crazy that I needed to do that in
this country where you think that we have amazing you know,
(35:46):
care and I think we have amazing care providers. We
have amazing people that want to give the care, but
the system is just so broken that you know, I
have patients that say, I need to be discharged tomorrow
because I have to go to work tomorrow. Like it's
wild that, you know, some people can't even take a
day off of work without feeling like they need to
(36:07):
get back in order to make money.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah, that's the whole conversation of Man, we sure do
buy a lot of bombs, but we can't take care
of our health our people with health care.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Right right.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
That's a second podcast that we'd probably do. And so
a couple of judgment things. I'd like for you to
judge me. On one, I chose, I chose not to
cut the cord because Okay.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
There's a judgment gainst judgment already coming through. Good, Okay,
continue to give me the reasoning.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
So they asked, would you like to cut the cord,
to which I responded, is there any literal benefit to
me cutting this cord? They said no, I said, I
choose not to feel metal going through human flesh. So
I will not cut the cord if you tell me
there is a something about this. For example, I did
(36:54):
skin to skin because they told I learned why that
was important. I said, if there's something about cutting the cord,
that is a bond to my daughter and myself if
I'm in, But if it's literally just me taking metal
and going through human flesh, out, So I did not
cut the cord. I will now accept your judgment.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Okay, do you regret it? Do you wish that you did?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
No? I don't want to cut through humans. I don't
want to cut through skin. I don't know the Bennett
what's the.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Skin though, it's just.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Like it's mean passage.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
It's me, you know, Okay, I can do that.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
If they would have said you need to chew through
it so you can really feel the love, I would
have chewed through it before I would have cut it
with scissors, because at least chewing through it had been
something primal. And yeah, I totally passed. How many dads
pass on cutting the cord more than more than you
would think.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
But I do often talk the bin to it sometimes
because I think that there's a lot of dads who
aren't expecting that question or like we're thinking about it
and then we're like, okay, you've tid to cut the cord,
are you ready? And then they're like whoa, whoa, that's
not my job. And then we you know, encourage. So
what I like to do is say, where's your phone.
(38:03):
We're documenting this moment, you know. So I love to
video that moment because it is sometimes funny because they're
like like making a face, but you know, it can
be a right of passage. We had a dad last
week or the week before that was like, well I
didn't cut it with the last one. I was like
(38:23):
new tradition, right, you can cut it with this one.
So but I'd say five percent of dads turn us down.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
That's all. Yeah, Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
We're very persuasive.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
What if I would have said I will choose through
the cord? Is that allowed?
Speaker 1 (38:41):
I mean, I've never seen that happen. I think you
would definitely get some looks. I mean, I don't think
I can stop you from doing that. I might have
my own thoughts about that, but I would keep them
to myself. I'm all about informed and empowered decision making.
So even if you decide to do something that I wouldn't,
(39:03):
I'd say you do you booth? That's what I'd say.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Man, that would be crazy to watch someone chew through
a chord, like through the damn Billy. That would be
I would get my phone out and want to record
that just for the sake.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Yeah, let's take a quick pause for a message from
our sponsor, and we're back on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
What are the rules on phones in the room? Because
I did get in our delivery the baby landing on
my wife's chest, but I didn't know the rules, so
I was just kind of wasn't hiding it, But I
knew there were places I didn't need to be. Are
there rules?
Speaker 1 (39:43):
There are rules. I will say this. I will say
no one can make you do anything you don't want
to do for me personally, So the rules around recording
a birth are all about liability for the hospital and
everyone involved. For me if I see and I might
(40:06):
get in trouble for saying this, but like if I
see someone recording during a birth, I keep my mouth shut,
like I don't I don't personally care, And what I'll
tell them is like, hey, I'm not gonna say anything.
You might have other people that do. Now it does
get a little tricky for me because I very much
(40:26):
like to not be known where I work or like
you know, because that can put me in a dangerous
safety situation. So I I'm starting to think more about like, hey,
if somebody puts you on the internet like you were
in your outfit and your badge, like that can be
a thing. But I try to hold myself to the
standard where it doesn't matter if I'm being recorded or not.
(40:49):
I'm going to act the exact same. I'm intervene in
the way that I need to intervene. If something goes sideways,
and I feel like sometimes if you have a situation
where those going sideways and the people in the room
who are working at the hospital are more concerned about
whether you're recording or not instead of doing what needs
to happen for the patient, that can look a little
(41:12):
yucky too. So I personally don't care, but a lot
of people do.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Something I've had to learn about recently a safe sleep.
I just thought, if you got a baby and it
goes asleep, if you want to go to sleep with
it, it makes sense. I can't because if I fall over
the baby, I don't sleep at all. If I have
the baby, it doesn't matter, I don't sleep at all.
What are the rules of safe sleep?
Speaker 1 (41:33):
So there, I mean, the main thing is not having
the baby in the bed with you. There's all sorts
of like different rules that you know, people sometimes do
do try to sleep with their babies still, and so
there are rules around that also. But I'll tell you
(41:56):
that people who would never expect to have to have
like a tragic thing happen. It happens. And so me
as labor and delivery nurse who also goes down to
the emergency department when we have infants pass away. I
(42:17):
go down there and help them kind of make shadow
boxes or handprints and footprints of infants that you know
they've they've been born. They go home, they're with their parents,
and then something tragic happens. They come back in and
the baby has passed away for whatever reason. I will
tell you that most of those are co sleeping accidents.
(42:39):
Wow and yeah, and it's it's parents that never thought,
never thought that it would happen. So, and I'll say,
like before I was alber and delivery nurse, I co
slept with my kids because I was like, oh, they're
sleeping cool, and I like put them on my chest
and then have like pillows on either side of me
just so that I didn't turn over. I would never
if I had another baby, which I won't, but if
(43:00):
I did, I would never do it just because of
what I have experienced as a nurse in helping people
memorialize those babies. So it's absolutely tragic when it happens.
And I think that the biggest thing is making sure
that they're not in the bed with you, that they're
on their back and you don't have extra stuff around
(43:24):
them like pillows and blankets and stuff like that. Because
they can breathe in their own air and then lose
some oxygen that way.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Wow. A couple more questions for you before we go.
What do you think is the perfect hospital bag the way?
I don't know what you can call that the birth bag?
What do we need?
Speaker 1 (43:45):
That's a good question, and it depends on who you
are as a person. I talked about this in the book.
But it can be so individualized. And you can also
show up to the hospital titties in the wind, not
a stitch of clothes on you, and we got you.
We can take care of you. We've got diapers for
you and the baby, you know. Uh. But biggest thing chargers. Man.
(44:07):
I can't tell you how many people come in and say, uh, oh,
forgot my charger, and we don't keep chargers.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
But I'll say, if wearing your own clothes is important
to you, you can bring your own birth gown. You
can wear whatever you want. We have mama and baby diapers,
so you don't really have to worry about that if
you have. I really love it when people bring in
they make these like little fans with like like posable
(44:33):
legs that you can like wrap around the hospital bed
or kind of stand up. Those are cool that people
bring playlists. And also if you're making a playlist, do
not just do kumbay all music that you think will
relax you, because I can't tell you how many people
make a kumbay a playlist and they get so angry
(44:55):
at the playlist when it's not helping them get through.
I mean, we need like DMX, we need something like
something else, you know, some hype up music.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Make a few.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Playlists in case you don't like the one that you've made.
I did have a girl one time that played Twinkle
Tweak a Little Star for.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Twelve hours no way. Yes, yes, that's like baby shark
vibes over and over again, like you can't shake it.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Yeah, I thought I was gonna go crazy, but I
held it together. We got through it. But that was
what That's what got her through. What else can I
tell you? Uh, we have scratchy towels, like smaller scratchy towels.
So if you want to bring your own towels, that's cool.
You don't have to your own pillow our pillows. Our
(45:41):
pillows are not gonna cut it. However, you can make
your environment in the hospital feel more like home, whether
that's pillows, blankets, fan since if you have like essential
oils or whatever you want to do, I think that
it's more about making your environment feel like home instead
of having to make sure you bring forty seven baby
(46:04):
outfits or all that kind of stuff, all that after
stuff you don't really need it. Also, don't don't bring
your stroller to labor and deliver. We're not going to stroll.
We're not going to stroll. You can bring it late,
you can bring it later, whenever you're whenever you're leaving
or whatever, but you don't need it. People sometimes bring
in like everything that they've brought for the first eighteen
(46:28):
years of this child's life into the hospital. We don't
need all that.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
You're right about the blankets and the pillows. We luckily
took those and very much needed. The pillows were small
in the hospital. The blankets were kind of scratchy. But man,
it is so cold, and it's not my job to complain,
but I was freezing. I was trying to get a
little nap in. It's hard for me to get a
lit old nap in because it was so cold in
that room.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
Yep, absolutely, and it's always freezing.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
And the couches kind of sucked for me to sleep on. Huh,
you know it, it's true, not made for the man
at all. Apparently.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
No. There they make like dad bed blow up things.
Now have you seen that?
Speaker 2 (47:05):
No, that's something you buy and take with you. Yeah,
oh I would recommend that.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Then.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Okay, here's my advice for the bag. Put in whatever
she's talking about, because you'll get there and they have
like this large pillow that flips down. That's kind of
the bed. But I'm pretty tall and it was Again,
it's no comparison, but it's pretty miserable for me, you know.
And so yeah, for the dead, take the little, take
the blow up.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Yeah. I Also there's a dad that one time figured
out that his gaming system would not hook up to
our TV. He went out to Best Buying's not a
fifty five inch screen TV, No way, no, yes, And
then Karma said guess what because when he opened it
up it was cracked. I said, ha ha, that's what
(47:47):
you get. Don't try to bring your fifty five inch
screen TV in there so you can play your freaking
whatever you play on there's wild because you won't be
there long ta yeah oh yeah, yeah, that stuff aggravates me,
but it does happen. Don't do that, Don't be that guy.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Congratulations on the book. What is it you want people
to take from this book?
Speaker 1 (48:10):
So my goal is that this book helps you prepare
for your birth in a way that builds this cocoon
of safety around you, so that no matter what happens,
you still feel informed, empowered, respected, heard. I think that
a lot of people plan their whole pregnancy for a
birth that's going to check off a birth plan, and
(48:30):
it's so much less about the checkboxes and more about
who you are as a person, what you need to
feel safe, what you need to feel heard and respected.
And so each of the chapters in this book in
the first half go over a different vibe that you
can think about for yourself so that you can personalize
your birth experience so that if everything checks off everything
(48:53):
on your birth plan, awesome, wonderful, we still have this
cocoon of safety that makes it even better. But then
also if your birth goes completely off the rails, that
you still can leave that experience having had a more
positive experience than if you didn't think about all those
other things.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
You said, you swaddleed chickens, you have chickens in your house, I.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
Have, well, yeah I have right now, they're outside, but
I have a I built, I built, someone built for
me a very fancy chicken coop out there. But up
until very recently, I had two chickens at my house.
I've had them in my house for years, and then
we built this very fancy lady coop. I wanted to
see if they liked it. And they've been having a
(49:35):
great time out there. But they wore diapers. Did you
know that chickens had no idea? Yes, I would give
them baths, but they were like special needs chickens, so
they got brought in for special needs reasons.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
And so you domesticated special needs chickens.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Yeah, And I would have people reaching out to because
I know that I would do that. And I had
somebody give me a blind chick who is being picked on,
and I loved on her up until she died, and
I had her. I called it her sister. Her sister
was her seeing eyecat, you know, because they would just
act like cats in my house. They just walk around
(50:14):
and so her sister Grits would show her where the
food is and they were just like at the hip
all day long, just walking around. So yeah, I'd taken
ones that have been maybe abused by their fellow Chicken
family members, and then I bring them inside and they
live a life of luxury.
Speaker 2 (50:34):
That's awesome. Jen, thank you so much for the time.
Congratulations on your book.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
I can't wait for you to meet. Hold On, hold
on we find the name doctor Nope, yeah, doctor beat
Jim Ten, I'm really looking for it. Yes, me too, Jen,
thank you, congratulations, and hopefully we'll run into each other
sometime soon.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
All right, thanks Bobby, all right by Jen.
Speaker 4 (50:57):
Thanks for listening to a Bobby Cast production.
Host
Bobby Bones
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
iHeartRadio 24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.