PM Show Hr 2 | Chosen for Greatness with Author Paula Batura

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's that time, time, time, time, luck and load till
Michael Very Show is on the air. Luke eleven nine says,

(00:25):
ask and ye.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Shall receive, seek, and ye shall fine knock, and the
door shall be opened unto you.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
And it has happened. We have wanted forever to add Tulsa.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Oklahoma to the Michael Berry Show family, and it has happened.
Thanks to Brian Gann formerly of WAI and San Atom
thirteen hundred The Patriot in Tulsa, Oklahoma also at ninety
three point five FM and one oh six point one
HD two.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
We are honored to be there.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
And for our new show listeners wherever you are, you
can send me an email directly Michael at Michael Berryshow
dot com. If that's too much to remember, go to
Michael Berryshow dot com and hit new submission and say, hey,
I'm your new listener on this new station you just added.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
And you and I'll have a little conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
I got some nice love from the good folks of Toledo, Ohio.
I appreciate you. Don't think I didn't see that. And
on k EIB this week, which we have just gone
live on, very excited have Tulsa, Oklahoma, in our listener family.
All right, now we're back to the Michael Berry Annual

(01:38):
Adoption Show. If this is your first one, we're glad
you're here. Paul Battura has written a book about these
individuals who were adopted and went on to change the world.
The book is called Chosen for Greatness, How Adoption Changes
the World. Paul, I ask everyone this, but in your
case in particular, why I write this book?

Speaker 3 (01:59):
Hi, Michael, Well know it's a topic that's near and
dear to my heart. I'm an adoptive dad. We have
three three boys there are eleven, six and four, and
I wanted to try and put together something that would
make a few points. Number one, life is the better choice.
There are so many parents out there, prospective parents wanting
to adopt. Over a million a year are waiting, and
you know there's unfortunately there's a way too high abortion rate.

(02:21):
Any number is too high, and what a great thing
to be able to match that birth mom with an
adoptive couple. And then you have the foster care system
which is overloaded with children, lots of kids looking for
forever home and just trying to celebrate those adoptions that
have happened, and to make the point that, look, there

(02:42):
is an amazing amount of potential out there. If you
are have a heart that's open to taking a child in,
you could be raising the next president of the United States,
the next great inventor. And that's that's sort of what
was the inspiration for the project.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
The founder of Apple computers, and on and on, and
we'll talk about some of those stories. One of the
greatest home run hitters of all time. You know, I
think it's part and parcel of the same argument. If
you're going to be we should all be for adoption,
and we should all seek to find ways to put
more children in foster homes with loving parents because the

(03:19):
child didn't choose to be there. But especially if you're
going to say your pro life, I think this is
part of it's the next phase, because an unplanned pregnancy
is going to provide a child, and if we somebody's
got to step up and take.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Care of that, I think that's exactly right. And you know,
we often talk in the pro life movement about you know,
encouraging the birth mom to keep the baby, meaning to
carry the baby to term, which is ann i mentally
important thing, but then what do you do next? If
she's a single mom who does not have the means
and it's in a rough situation, what a loving thing

(03:54):
to do. It's a very sacrificial thing to do. But
I think we should encourage it wherever we can, and
you know, obviously rather than just talk about it, if
you feel that you have the capacity wherewithal you know,
there's a lot of different levels of this that you
can get involved in, like you alluded to, you could
obviously adopt, you could foster, you could provide respite care,
you could you know, work at a clinic, encourage moms.

(04:16):
There's a lot you can do. But you're right, it's
job number one is if you're pro life, you need
to be pro adoption. And I think everyone can agree
that a child deserves a mom and a dad.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
Agreed you were talking. I thought you were going to
go into it.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
But there's a group here in Houston called Depelching Center
and they do. They've won national awards to do wonderful
work for folks out there who have considered adopting or
being a foster parent.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
And it's a wonderful organization.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
But are there some organizations across the country that you've
seen that you think are doing good work in this field.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Well, I do you know? There are so many great
adoption agencies that work in both you know, infant placement
and then foster care. The one that I'm real familiar
with would be Bethany Christian Services. We use them for
our middle guy, and they're wonderful, and you know, they're
based in Michigan, but they have offices all over the country.
But you know, if you look in your own area,

(05:09):
there's going to be an agency. There's going to be
you know, the people who are devoted to this issue,
who have the kids interest at heart, and we'll work
with you and will you know, in essence to create
the best scenario for you. They want you to succeed.
They're not just looking to plug a child into just
any place. They want to find the right fit. And
so there are going to be children who, you know,

(05:30):
middle aged children who are going to do better in
certain homes than others. But I really, I really applaud
anyone in that industry.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Paul Batura is the author of Chosen for Greatness, How
Adoption Changes the World. Let's get into some of these
sixteen people who you studied. The first is as an
Apple computer user, I mean an a as an Eye
product user.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
Steve Jobs.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
Yeah, Steve is such a fascinating story, Michael. He almost
didn't go to the family. He went to with a
family that he was originally chosen to go to turn
down placement when they found out he was a girl
a boy. They wanted a girl, and so they kind
of scrambled at the last minute and wound up matching
him with Paul and Clara Jobs. As I say, who
just quote happened to live in Silicon Valley. His father

(06:13):
was a mechanic and was a real craftsman of sorts
and had a workshop in his garage. And what this
is just, you know, the first example of many where
children are placed with the right families and they're given
the best opportunity to succeed because those those parents bring
out the best in the child.

Speaker 4 (06:31):
You know.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Steve grew up in a neighborhood full of tech people,
a couple streets over where HP executives lived. He got
to intern there.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
You know.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
He said his father loved to work on cars. He said, well,
I didn't really love to work on cars, but I
love to be with my dad, and just working alongside him.
He became infatuated with his father's passion for his design.
And his father used to say, you know, when you
design something, even if someone doesn't see it, there's value
to making good designs. So if you know, you open

(07:00):
up an Apple computer, it looks quite beautiful. But it's
because his father taught him, you know that every little
detail matters, and you know, that's that's the environments that
he grew up in. And I find that just fascinating
how God places certain people in certain situations. And I
think that's why we have, you know, we were able

(07:22):
to enjoy Steve Jobs's inventions.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
I think that's what drove him so hard.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Paul, I have one minute left in this segment, but
I wanted to get you to tell the story of
when Steve Jobs, the little girl across the street learns
that he's adopted, and how he responded to that.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Yeah, that's that was a painful moment for him, but
it was handled well by his parents. The child said
to him, oh, is that because someone didn't want you?
And you know, he took that very painfully and ran
into his parents, and his parents did the thing, the
exact thing they should do. And they wrapped their arms
around him and they said, oh, no, you know, we
chose you. And it said it filled him with such

(08:01):
love and such affirmation that later in life he said,
you know, I wanted to meet my birth mom to
thank her one for you know, obviously choosing this family,
but most of all for not borting me.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, they were my parents one thousand percent.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
That's what he told Walter Isaacson.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
The book is Chosen for Greatness, How Adoption Changes the World.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
The author is Paul Butua.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
It's our adoption special the Michael Barry Show, Michael Berry.
The book is called Chosen for Greatness, How Adoption Changes
the World. The author is Paul Butura. It's our annual
adoption special. We were going through the sixteen lives you
profile in the book. Nancy Reagan's steps out or jumps

(08:47):
out as someone who having been adopted changed her life.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Yeah, her story is one for the book for sure.
And you know everyone knows that name. Most people wouldn't
know the name Anne Robins, but that's who she was
when she was born. She was born to a couple
in Queens, New York. They had marriage troubles from the beginning.
They just actually separated before she was even born, and
she was sent to live with an aunt in Bethesda, Maryland,

(09:12):
where she spent the first six or so years of
her life, and she wound up eventually getting reunited with
her mom, her birth mom in Chicago. But this is
where the story kind of makes an interesting faithful turn.
She wound up reuniting with her mom because her mom remarried,
and her mom remarried a doctor, a guy by the
name of Loyal Davis, who was a prominent neuroservant in
Chicago area. It is a good name, isn't it. And

(09:36):
she was excited to have a dad again, and she
wanted to take his name because she was still Robbins
because her biological father was still living. But she got
permission from her biological father and he relinquished rights and
her adoptive father adopt adopted her. And what is so fascinating, Michael,

(09:56):
is that when she moved to California after graduating from
high school, you know, she had her new name. She
was now Nancy Davis. Nancy was her nickname, but there
and she was trying to pursue a career in acting. Well,
there was another Nancy Davis in California, who was on
a communist sympathizer list, and she couldn't get work because
of this, this black mark on the name. They said, well,
you need to talk to the president of the Screen

(10:18):
Actors Guild. And I think all of us know who
that was. That was Ronald Reagan. And the point I
tried to make trying to connect the dots is that, look,
if she had not been adopted, had she not changed
her name, she wouldn't have had real excuse reason to
meet with Governor Or Ronald Reagan. And if she had
not met him, a lot of people I think, and
I think this is where I would agree with this.

(10:39):
He wouldn't have become governor and she wouldn't and he
wouldn't have run for president. I mean, that was the
impact she had on him. So you know, in essence,
if you love Ronald Reagan, if you appreciated him as
a president, you would you know, a lot of that
is attributed to the fact that Nancy Reagan was adopted.
I mean, it feels like a lot of connections, but
I think it's it's quite true.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
Well, it also it also showed how many I've had
friends who were going through difficult times and things weren't
ending up the way they had mapped it out in
their mind. And I've just said life is not as
storybooks as we'd believe, and that's all around us. There
are people that if you'd caught them at any point
in their lives, things were not going well, but people
stepped in and it worked itself out. Another one you

(11:20):
profile as Faith Hill. I thought that was a good story.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yeah. Faith Hill was born Audrey Perry, and she was
adopted by a couple and ed birth and they had
such an impact on her throughout the course of her
growing up, like any parent would, but they really made
a point to try and identify her gifts and her
talents and really feed those. You know. Her adoption to

(11:43):
that family almost didn't happen either, because her mom and
dad had two biological children and were wanting a larger
family were unable to have one. But her mom convinced
her father to pursue adoption, so he relented and they
wound up adopting her. And you know, there are my
stones in her life, you know, from where she expressed

(12:03):
a desire to pursue music at a very young age.
She wanted to go to an Elvis Presley concert, and
they relented. They weren't so sure about it, but they
went with her, and she said, I fell in love
with the whole idea of performing that night. She had
a rebellious streak as a kid, and her parents, you know,
had very strong discipline kept her on the rails. And

(12:25):
then when she went and pursued a singing career in Nashville,
she hit a rough spot like most people do, and
she called home wanting to quit, and her mom said, look,
have you ever wanted to be anything else? And she
said no, And so her mom said, well, I suggest
you hang up the phone and get back to work.
So it's you know, it's good parenting led to her

(12:46):
her being able to become who she was, and you know,
she winds up eventually marrying Tim McGraw ironically, who was
also adopted, and you know they have a very very
happy twenty year marriage now. But again it all stemmed,
It really all turned for her, you know, because of
her adopted family.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
When I was Paul Battura as our guest, the book
has chosen for greatness how adoption changes the world. When
I was a kid, the two things I read about
were Texas history and sports biographies, and one of the
best was on The Babe, and that's probably where I
was first introduced to the idea of adoption and his
childhood and you know, you could call it imperfect or

(13:25):
as unplanned as they get. And here's a guy who
turned out, you know, is a great story. But could
you talk about that?

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Sure? Yeah, the Babe is a larger than life figure.
I'm with you. I loved reading those sports biographies as
a kid, and The Babe was at the top.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Of the list.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
He you know, came from Maryland. His biological parents were bartenders,
kept a saloon and he was kind of running apparently
roughshot of this in the streets and his parents just
kind of threw up their hands and gave up. We
know very little about his mother, so she was either
incapacitated or at least not present, and his father wound

(14:00):
up taking him to Saint Mary's Industrial School for Boys.
And on the submission forum when he relinquished him, he
said he was incorrigible and vicious, which is hard to believe.
You problem exactly, and it was those monks, that Catholic
order that really not only taught him the difference between
right and wrong, not only gave him, you know, a

(14:22):
disciplined life in the sense of, you know, they all
had jobs and they all had responsibilities. He became a
fantastic shirt maker. And but brother Matthias and brother Gilbert
taught him how to play baseball. And so they channeled
that you know, personality into you know, a fine ballplayer
and introduced him to an agent. He got, you know,
signed for two hundred and fifty dollars, which was a

(14:44):
fortune for him. He bought a bicycle with his first paycheck.
But the Babes. What I love about the Babes story, Michael,
you kind of allude to this is that he was
such an imperfect person, just like you and me. He
but you know, he lived his all his imperfections on
his sleeve. You know, he did everything in excess. But
it was really that beginning of his life, that adoption

(15:06):
into that school, that gave him, you know, the tools
that he needed to make it. I mean, he had.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
We can't know what the alternative would have been, and
it wouldn't have been as good. You can be sure
that I'm going to cut you off, Paul, Paul Batura
is the author of this book, Chosen for Greatness, How
Adoption Changes the World. You've got a minute, fifty seconds.
I wanted to make sure you got to what you
call the ultimate adoption story and could tell that.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
Well, thank you, and sure I couldn't think of doing
this book without pointing to the creator, and that is
you know, most people probably don't necessarily think of Jesus
as an adopted child, but he was. His father was Joseph,
who was visited by an angel and told you will
be the father of this child. He's not biological to you,
but you know, declaring you to be his dad, And

(15:50):
as an adoptive father, I can kind of relate to that.
You know, Joseph didn't look any differently upon Jesus. He
accepted him as his son and raised him. We don't
know much about Joseph beyond the fact that he said
yes and he was responsive to the angel's call. But
what I found to be so fascinating with the parallels
with Jesus's story and adoption in general, is that, you know,

(16:11):
we often see Christmas and the Christmas story as this
idellic courier and ives kind of moment and it was
in a sense that scripture tells us it was a
beautiful night and angels sang and shepherd's you know, came
to the stable. But the reality was that there was
a lot of dysfunction going on. I mean, people wanted
that baby to be killed and they had to sleep,

(16:31):
you know, and escape it. And I thought, isn't that
a little bit like adoption? That it is gritty, it
is imperfect. There is not going to be the hallmark
hall the same moment, but in the end, there is
God's sovereignty directing the affairs of menical Michael.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Very Good, Karen Wright Zara. I have always been pro adoption.
My parents adopted four children while living and working in Madrid, Spain,
for Brown and Root back in the fifties. They were
married for over ten years before they started adopting. They'd
lived all over the world and were living in Spain.

(17:08):
Of course, like typical parents, they wanted a baby and
adopted a nine year old girl and a four year
old boy. Then two years later they decided the girl
needed a sister and the boy needed a brother. They
adopted another girl, which was me and my brother Gavin.
My parents said that adopting was like eating peanuts. They
just couldn't stop lol. For eleven days out of the year.

(17:32):
Three of us are the exact same age that used
to freak out our friends and teachers. They could never
ever figure that equation out. They would wonder if mother
was in labor for eleven days between us, but.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
No one ever thought of adoption.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
We used to get asked about our bio parents a
lot from our friends growing up, but I never gave
them a second thought because I always thought that it
must have been very difficult to give up your child,
especially from a Catholic country like Spain.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
People would ask me, don't you want to know if
you look like them?

Speaker 2 (18:03):
And I would think, what relevance does it have on
life's meaning if I look like someone? My mother was
always much more curious than I was. I always thought
of mother and father as mother and father and nothing else.
We went on to live all over the world because
of my father's profession with Brown and Root, and eventually
lived in Houston, Texas because Brown and Root is home
to Halliburton slash KBR. I'm an enormous fan of your

(18:27):
show and have been forever. Your children are aging us.
Keep up the great work, and I love your sense
of you and we're so sorry for your loss of
your mother. Let us pray that next year is a
better year for y'all. For all, I wish you continued
success in your business and pleasant personal progress. Karen, my
birth name was Maria Dolores Puente Pila. My parents changed

(18:52):
all of our names upon adoption. What a great story. Gosh,
thank you for sharing that. That's uh, that's solid, that's solid.
You know. One of the areas of adoption we try
to hit them all is folks that adopt not because

(19:13):
they need a child, but because they have a loved
one who gets sent to prison, who dies, who whatever,
and they step in and take over these that child.
And in this case, a couple uprooted their entire life
to adopt their niece's five kids.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
This is this is what it's all about. This is beautiful.

Speaker 5 (19:33):
It feels really good to have them out that actually
cares and gets some clothes.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
They just absorb it.

Speaker 6 (19:40):
I sometimes I have three and four of the kids
on my lap. They're like wanting a whole rock with me,
or give me a hugs, or used to having a
lot because we have a lot of our own kids
and grandkids, and this will make us have seventeen kids.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
We're all fool brides. We don't have to go and
fill out.

Speaker 6 (19:56):
All these different last names on you know, we can
all just be under the same last name.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
They're all very proud to be a fool bright.

Speaker 5 (20:03):
My mom was like shouldly for days at a time
with not being home and likes and I don't know
my dad. He lives in Mexico, so it's really nice
having a diet.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
To spent time with.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
So earlier we played you the little girl writing the letter,
which was her gift to her stepdad that she wanted
him to adopt her, and he just lost it. Now
we have the reverse. A ten year old girl sobs
when she finds out that she's being adopted on her birthday.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
I'm going to be adopted, will always be okay. You're

(21:18):
all there for secret too.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
I remember when Michelle Bachmann was in Congress and she
and her husband had fostered a lot of kids over use.
It was over thirty and they were described as being
weirdoh's for that, And I thought all these people saying
that would never take a child into their home.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
They're not stealing these children.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
These these children have nowhere to go, and they're opening
their home to these children. You know why people make
fun of those kind of people because they're embarrassed that
they're not willing to do it. And that's fine, you
don't have to take a child into your home. But
why label someone as some sort of freak because they're

(22:15):
willing to do it again and again and again. You know,
you know why I do nice things for other people,
Not that I do it very often, but when I do,
not of them, but for me, makes me feel good.
It's a very selfish thing. I say this all the time.
The reason people keep fostering children or adopting children is

(22:38):
because it makes you feel good.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
It fills a.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
Hole inside that we all have. It fills a void.
And isn't that great that somebody can benefit by us
doing something that makes us feel better. Here's a couple
that had ten kids and adopted seven more.

Speaker 5 (22:58):
It feels really good to have a mother that actually
cares and gets some clothes.

Speaker 6 (23:03):
They just absorb it. They I sometimes I have three
and four of the kids on my lap. They're like
wanting a whole rock rock with me, or give me
a hugs or used to having a lot because we
have a lot of our own kids and grandkids, and
this will make us have seventeen kids.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
We're all full brides.

Speaker 6 (23:19):
We don't have to go and fill out all these
different listnings on you know, we can all just be
under the same last name.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
And they're all very proud to be a full bride.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
My mom, oh I did Ramono, says we played that already. Well,
I'm not at myself, and my grandmother will say, you're
not at yourself. I'm not at myself. You know, it's
a very emotional subject from me. Well, I made my point.
You know what my point was. This is the story
I meant to play earlier, which is the Clarks celebrating

(23:51):
their adoption of seven kids at once. I got to
I mean, who's who adopts seven kids at once? You know,
I get to get them confused.

Speaker 7 (24:00):
Hello Facebook followers, we are on our way to the
courthouse in Springfield and we are going to be finalizing
today the adoption of our super seven.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Everybody say, Hi, what are we doing?

Speaker 7 (24:17):
Who's getting adopted Super seven?

Speaker 8 (24:21):
We are all super excited. They have been up since
six screaming and running around the house. But it's almost
ever praise Jesus, and we'll see you guys in a
few maps.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Man, there's a special place in heaven.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
I tell you what, because I gotta tell you I
raising two kids. It's been by far the greatest joy
of my life. But it takes time and effort and energy.
And I'm told that once you have a bunch of
kids like that, you learn not to over obsess about things,

(24:58):
and you know, you just get better at it.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
You know, want something done, give it to a busy person.
I can't imagine the Michael Barry Show. In the category of.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Cops are good people, A bad cop is the exception,
not the rule. Another story that was not highlighted in
President Trump's State of the Union. They can't all be
This story comes from Arizona and was on Good Evening Arizona.
A police officer adopted a little girl that he met
while responding to an abuse call.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
This is pretty cool.

Speaker 7 (25:36):
I had a lot of shot abuse cases and there's
always kids that I would bond with that I'd love
to take him out of bad situation, just bring him homes.

Speaker 9 (25:46):
For Kingman Police officer Brian Zach and his wife Sierra
adopting their child, Kyla was fate. They were already considering fostering,
but when Brian met Kyla in twenty eighteen through one
of his cases, they formed a special bond. In just
a few hours, while waiting for DCS to show up.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
We colored we We've watched recket Rael.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
She loved record Rawe.

Speaker 8 (26:10):
He shows up and he's like, I've got to hang
out with the cutest little cruel.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
She was so awesome.

Speaker 9 (26:16):
Since DCS couldn't find any family members willing to care
for Kyla, Ryan and Sierra first took her in as
a foster child before officially adopting her this summer.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
She's happy and she's flourished. And when we got her
she knew three words. Basically, she grunted like a caveman
because she couldn't know how to talk. And now she
loves to talk. We got her into a charter school.

Speaker 9 (26:40):
Katie Hernandez works at Arizona's Children Association, the agency which
helped Brian and Sierra through the adoption process.

Speaker 6 (26:48):
Most foster currents say that it's one of the most
rewarded things.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
That I can took cold.

Speaker 9 (26:52):
Brian and Sierra are now planning to renew their foster
license and help more kids.

Speaker 6 (26:57):
I would definitely encourage people to do it because there's.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
So many kids and who need that.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
So even if it's just for a small amount of time,
you can make such an impact.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
We are going to close the show with a call
from a few years ago. I got to tell you
the story first. This guy's name is Chaos. That's what
he calls in under. He's from Harlem. He's a truck driver,
and he would call in and be very angry at me.
Might go, you're a racist, might go, hear this. But
he would keep calling, and we would keep talking to him,
and I would scold him, and I would.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Jab at him.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
We would have some fun with it. But he called
on our adoption special one year and a lot of
people responded. It was like we'd kind of gotten through
to him. And so I'm going to finish the show
with that call and a call to you that says,
if it's on your heart to adopt, then do it.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
If you're pregnant and can't handle it, seek.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
An adoption agency. If you are adopted and have never
shared that, be proud. Be proud so that other people
will understand the impact adoption has on the entire world.
Take it to the break Chaos and Michael Barry show,
go ahead, caves.

Speaker 4 (28:12):
Yeah, I just want to let you know that for me,
that that adoption stuff was the foster kids, because I
was in both. For that, I was in fourth kid.
I was adopted. For me, it wasn't good. I'd rather
have been in the cup home, you know, because I
was like neglected and all that. I ain't care about.
I mean, I ain't get this Christmas gifts and all that.
The streets raised me. You know, in the system, the
system was my was my parents, and the streets was

(28:32):
my dad. So you know, I at out the system.
I was on my own. So it was either the
shows to the army. You know.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
I appreciate that, and I appreciate your story, but I'm
confused because you're speaking, uh in some sort of a vernacular.
Who at what home? What residents did you live at?
Who was the owner or occupant of that residence?

Speaker 4 (28:58):
Who was the owner? Like I was? I was in
an apartment building.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Okay, so in the in.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
The bronx Okay, was was your mother or your father?
Or was it a foster home.

Speaker 4 (29:11):
I was in? I was in forced a home. I
was I was in the group home. Then I was
in the foster homes. I was in fourth home, the
fourth of home, and I got adopted, you know, for money,
because I was classified as a problem chop. But you
get paid.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
That's the money for that, right, Okay, So let's go
back at what age did you leave the home of
your mother?

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Did you ever live with your mother?

Speaker 4 (29:27):
I was six years old? Okay, so fixtures old in
the cops can got all right?

Speaker 1 (29:32):
So you went from there to a foster home. Okay.
How long were you in that first foster home?

Speaker 9 (29:39):
Three years?

Speaker 1 (29:40):
All right? And then from there?

Speaker 4 (29:43):
Then from there, I got kicked out of school because
I got suspended three times. So I went to another
foster home, and then I went.

Speaker 3 (29:52):
To a group home.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
The group home was the only person I felt like
I belonged.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
Okay, how how old were you when you went to
the group home?

Speaker 4 (29:57):
Nine?

Speaker 1 (29:58):
All right? And you stayed there how long?

Speaker 4 (30:01):
Like a year?

Speaker 1 (30:03):
And then from there you went back to a foster home.

Speaker 4 (30:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
Why do you feel like you belonged more at the
group home than in a foster home, Because in the group.

Speaker 4 (30:13):
Home I was around people that you know that was
like the similar situations where I could relate to when
I was in the foster homes, I was like out
of place, Like everybody talking about oh this, you know,
they family and they talk about like how they grand
pans or whatever something, and I'm out of place, like

(30:34):
nobody could like tell me, like what's really going on
with me? And it was like that was like I
was a visitor or a stranger and someone else's home.
So you know what I mean, it wasn't And then
plus the people I was with, you know, they ain't
care about me anything like that. Like I wasn't getting
gift anything. I was neglected. I felt like a waste
of seeming.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
Did you feel like you belonged at I mean, did
you feel like people cared about you at.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
The group home?

Speaker 4 (30:59):
I felt about I felt like it was it was
where I was supposed to be at. I mean, it
wasn't really like it was a couple of counselors that
I had liked, but it was it was more I'd
rather have that situation than they have people where they
pretend or they supposed to care about me, but they
really don't, you know, at least at least I know

(31:20):
what it is. I know what it is. Off top
when I'm in the group home, I know this is
this is where I'm at. You know, my real moms
or whatever seen handling business. So I got to handle
my own.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
You know, are you grateful for the people who cared
for you?

Speaker 4 (31:36):
No, my foster plan nine, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
They like they just did it for money.

Speaker 4 (31:44):
I know they did it for money. They said it,
they said it they when I was seventeen, I was
about to turn eighteen. Oh, she told me, like, yo,
my chest is about to end. You have the possible
where to go straight up. So I had it like
I had to make moves, Like I said, it was
either the shelter on the army. You know, I mean
I picked the wrong de suits I should want to

(32:04):
shelter it.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
Bless your heart. I have always said chaos, and I
don't mean that as an insult. Behind every angry young
man like you, there is the lack of love growing up.
And I'm not insulting you. That's not your fault. You
didn't choose that, but it's true. It is true. I
just hope I really do chaos. All kidding aside, I

(32:33):
will clown you all day to amuse people, but honest
to goodness.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
I really mean this sincerely.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
I pray for peace for you because I feel for
you that you did not have the love I had
as a child. And I will tell you your call and
nothing you just told me surprises me.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
People that are around me will tell you.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
I can pick out fact patterns of people and how
they grew up and what their experiences were. You know,
way it is uncanny because I study people. That's my expertise.
I'm not an engineer. I'm not a scientist. That is
my expertise. And I knew that about you already. I
knew it without ever knowing it, because it is written
all over everything you say. When you have conversations, they

(33:16):
go back to that angry young man that feels frustrated
nobody loved him, or the feeling that you had that
nobody loved you. I'm sure there were actually people there
who loved you and you didn't sense it, or you
put up a rough exterior, But I feel terrible for that.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
I really do. I feel sad for you. Now.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
That doesn't mean that you can make bad policies based on,
you know, lashing out from your experiences, but I do. Look,
I much rather be me than you chaos because I'm
a very happy person when I lay my head down
at night.