April 4, 2025 • 33 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's that time time, time, time, luck and load. The
Michael Very Show is on the air. They must passed away.
It would be our national holiday hip the South. What
a one we'd have had it made.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I would like to explain to you that Sudtherners have
a heritage that just about everything we get involved in
is funny. That's right.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
You can take some individual who doesn't live in the
South to come in the South and just sit down
and listen to us, and it ain't long.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
They commenced to Latin, making.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Their way the only way they know how.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Let's just little bit more both over the love.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
I go downtown and yeah, Azoo City may sit there
to hang on a parking meeting every now and then,
just to visit with old buddies. Go by the barber
shop and we'll talk, it says Jered. Where you've been lately.
We'll have a good time visited. And the other day
I was visiting in downtown Yasoo City. Stand on the street, corner,
(01:19):
bunch of folks out, we is talking, and a funeral
possession started by.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Now, there's nothing funny about.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Getting picking your way the only way, ain't no how,
that's just a little bit Nold, the Lord.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Of love excel In the South, an expression may be
made that they don't even intend to be funny, but
Southerners are naturally humorous. The funeral possession started by, and
everybody got quiet, got reverent, turned toward the street, put
the hand over the heart, and I whispered to this
old boy, I said, who died? He said to one
(01:59):
in the first car.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh, that's what I'm supposed to talk. Okay, Caleb held
out till last, but you were what was left.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
So here we go.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
We're scraping the bottom of the barrel. Here seven one, three,
one thousand. Did this to me? Go ahead, Caleb?
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Can you hear me? Mister Barry, yep, I give you.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I got you.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
I think I'm not sure this is what you consider
the shout out? Can I can I recognize someone on radio?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yes, Caleb, you can.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I would like to recognize today as the ceremony. My
dad's forty six years years with the police department. He's
retiring today today, Today, today is the ceremony at two pm.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Caleb, you have called every day this week. I have
not picked up in every day. It said you were
calling about your dad. Now you're certain that today is
the day, because that means on those earlier days you
were calling and it wasn't the day he was retiring, right, Yeah,
I was.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
I just told your your your producer that that gets
me hooked up to wait for you. That I said,
oldha WHI I didn't think about that. It was along
the open line Friday day and I should have waited.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So so forty six years huh, yes, sir in two
o'clock today.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
Yes, sir, it's a less early or training center on
Genoa rebelu.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
And what are they doing? Like cake and punch tape dealt?
Speaker 5 (03:59):
I think I believe they are. Yeah, they're going to
show a shadow box all his recognition and his badges
and and talk about, uh, you know what all the
departments he's served in and what all he's done for
the police department.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Are you going?
Speaker 5 (04:14):
I believe. I believe so. My daddy I did a degree.
They're support him.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Well, if he told you about it, he probably would.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
Like you to come. Oh surely, Yeah, I live with
him too, so.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I kind of yeah, is your mom there? Does your
mom live there too?
Speaker 5 (04:32):
No, they divorced a long time ago.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
You know, I'll bet you the divorce rate for police
officers is one of the highest of all fields. It's
such a stressful job.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
I appreciate you taking the call, Michael.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Mister Michael, Yeah, So are you going to take him
for dinner or anything tonight? To celebrate?
Speaker 5 (04:50):
We are going, Uh it's off the Beltway and pasting
the boulevard and well between passing the Boulevard and Red
Blood at four p m. After that, we're going to
have a private party with family and friends at Ernie's
Cafe kitchen right there, just down the road.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Well, it's not gonna be private anymore. Have you been
to Bernie's.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Ernie's are in I'm not trying to correct you. I
just thought I thought you said Bernie.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I was just saying to get it right, Okay, Ernie's.
What's it called.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Ernie's Cafe?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yes, it says the original, like there's somebody else out
there trying to be Ernie's.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
I love it is.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
They got like a piece of fry, like a chicken
fried steak, and it just says the only thing that
says on the screen is the original, Like you know,
often imitated, ever duplicated.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
My opinion, he's he's the best he's the best restaurant
in my opinion, well one of them out there for sure.
I think he's fabulous.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Do you have a hotline to him? Do you have
a way to talk to him? Because I need to
pass a message to him?
Speaker 5 (06:05):
What you want? You will let me see you want you?
Are you saying no?
Speaker 1 (06:09):
No, if you're going to see him, get him there? No, no,
if you're going to see him, Just if you could
pass this message to him. He's got in thirty seconds
on his website, I've come across about twenty five different
fonts and that's a that's a real irritant to me.
He's probably got a daughter that that took a weekend
web program programming class, and God bless her, she made
(06:32):
his web page for him, and it's just she's just
pulled every different kind of font. There's times new rooming
over here, there's helvetica over here, there's some cursive that
you can't even read. And if there's words that are
that are illegible because she's ripped off these fonts that
are I guess intended to look like cursive and they're
(06:54):
just not working. And I need somebody to pass that
to him. Just standardize the fonts. That's all I ask.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
See.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Like on one page, if you go to it, Caleb, it
says Ernie's Cafe and Catering, or at least I think
it does, because it's in a script that has more
seraphs than I've ever seen in my life, and so
you can barely read it, just barely read it. It
looks like jumbled up Bob Wars what it looks like.
And then underneath it you see it ramon go to
(07:26):
Ernie's theriginal dot com Ernie's Restaurant in Pasadena. And then
when you go to catering, if you click on catering, Yeah,
if you go to visit us, it's gonna say Ernie's
Cafe and Catering, or at least I think it does.
And it looks like a whole barrel of bob War
(07:49):
because it's all you see it, and it's just all
mixed up in there. And then underneath that, which is
at least legible, it says our location and it's a
and that is in a bold font that is cursive,
but at least it's legible, and it's but it's a
totally different font. It makes me crazy when I see
(08:14):
multiple fonts on a website, from levisians to librarians. Everyone
listens to Michael Berry show, pull on not that song
you were Stop and think about the fact that one
day that song didn't exist, But there are John F.
(08:43):
Kennedy never heard that song, right, That song didn't exist
and people didn't know it didn't exist. And once you
understand the profound existential nature of that, you start considering
(09:08):
the vast unknown, what doesn't exist, that we don't know
doesn't exist and we will never know doesn't exist. But
someone else will or they won't because that band doesn't
for him, because Billy stays in Dallas, or Dusty takes
(09:33):
a job at the construction crew. I mean you think
about that for a moment. I mean, on a more
pedestrian level, imagine being the first person to hear that
song once they've got it worked up to at least
close to this version, and they go, all right, give
(09:54):
this a listen. We want you to want you give
us your honest opinion. What do you think of this?
I like to I think they didn't ask anybody's honest opinion.
Like we're a three piece band. It sounds like twenty
we're gonna play the thickest strings ever on a bass
guitar like it's rhythm, and to hell with everybody else. Oh,
and by the way, we're gonna have real long beards,
(10:18):
and except the guy named Beard, and he's not gonna
have a beard. And Billy's gonna wear something like a
skull cap. What's it called a kaffir? He's gonna wear
a knitted skull cap for no good reason. And we're
(10:39):
gonna be skinny with long beards playing an instrument in
the way you've never heard of past where we should be.
We're gonna be in our prime past when bands first
lighted up. After after mind you, having had a regional
cult following with a whole different vibe, traveling around with
(11:03):
tractor trailer loads of animals on the national tour of Texas. Yeah,
then we're gonna go MTV mainstream and be the hottest
thing out there and sex symbols even though we don't dance.
How unlikely was that whole set of events? Now play
(11:23):
it now and can think about it? What about that?
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
All right, let's do it. All right, let's have you
say something but that's pretty good. Yeah, leave that in there.
Listen to this remon, the Astros brought Satchel Page to
test pitching conditions, specifically to see how breaking balls would
behave in the new indoor air condition environment. Now, mind you,
(11:57):
he's fifty nine at this point. This event took place
on February seventh, nineteen sixty five, about two months before
the Astrodome's official opening on April ninth, nineteen sixty five.
Page's assessment was glowing. He called the Astrodome a picture's paradise,
(12:17):
noting that the windless conditions allowed for greater control and
movement on sensitive pitches. In an April nineteen sixty five
interview with Frank god Soo of the Amarill Daily News,
Satchel Page said, I've pitched in more places than any
other man, living or dead, but there's no place to
pitch like the Astrodom Stadium in Houston. Man, that place
(12:41):
is something else. He believed the controlled environment could have
extended his career by a decade if it had existed earlier,
as it eliminated variables like wind and weather that often
disrupted a picture's rhythm. You're a think about how crazy
it was the first time people walked into the astronaut
(13:04):
mean we take it for granted, it's old and outdated.
It needs to be torn down, so we'd have parking
for NRG n RG. But the first time you walked
into that place, it had to seemed like I mean,
I still can't figure out the span. How they got
the span? I can't. I can't have a span more
than twenty foot in my house without a pillar in
(13:26):
the middle of it. How in the world they accomplished
that in the mid sixties is beyond because you didn't
have a lot of the technology you have now. You
didn't have the equipment, You didn't have the same cranes
and booms and composites. This really is incredible. And to
(13:46):
think about Satchel Page's career, Satul Page. Nobody knows what
Satchel Page did before he was fifty. By the time
Satchel Page is famous, he's an old man, an old
black man in the sixties who is famous for defying age.
(14:11):
This old black man is talking, is talking about things.
It really is. It shatters to mind. It's to fathom
you think about here comes Satchel Page. They set it
up so somebody had some secretary, had to be on
(14:32):
the phone with Satul Page. Because he didn't have an assistant,
I'm sure, and she had to tell him where to
be and he had to figure out how to get there,
and he didn't have Google Maps, so she had to
tell him how to get there, and then she had
to tell him what street to come to and at
the gate, and then they had to have some guy,
(14:53):
just some random guy who's probably still alive. And he
stood at the gate and waited and she said, what
are you going to be in? And he would have said,
I'm going to be in a green Cadillac. Okay, So
some guy had to sit out there and wait and
Satchel Page was probably late, so for an hour and
a half. Let's see what month it was, February okay,
(15:14):
so at least it wasn't hot. Yeah, February seventh. Some
dudes sat out there and waited until he saw the
green Cadillac pull up and he waved and he pulled
him over, and maybe he got in. It took a
while to get in because that door was so big,
and he got in. He fell into that big old
cadillac and he slammed it back and he pointed to
(15:38):
where to go, and they drove up and there were
more people along the way. Oh, here he comes, yeah, yeah,
here he comes. And then somebody waited, and there was
there was the official entry to the Astrodome that nobody
had been in yet. And so Satchel Page would have
bespied that building and looked around and cocked his head
(15:58):
and they would have pulled up. You just pull right on.
They might let him pull inside. They might let him
pull in like it was the seventy nine eighty football season.
They brought the and they opened the door, and he
pulled up there.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
And.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
They show him wearing a wear in a uniform. They
got in an Astro's uniform. Maybe they sent him an
astros uniform because they took photos, I'm sure. And he
put on a uniform and he went out there and
somebody had to catch for him. Think about how elaborate
this whole thing had to be.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
His finger on the pulse.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
The King of Team continues on the Michael Berry Show.
The best email of the month so far from Jeff
stevens Now mind you. When he says Charlotte with an S,
he spells it Charlotte with the sea, the way it's
supposed to be, and then he spells out with an S. Okay,
(16:55):
can I get some real light music to go under this?
This is this is the best email in a while.
This sounds like me and my buddy's talking about what
we talked about on the air that day, but he's
put it in an email without knowing me. Subject John
(17:16):
and Charlotte with an S is call this morning. I
was wiping tears from laughing on my drive to work
this morning listening to John's call. His wife loved and
respected him enough to let him take the lead on
the call, but from the first time she interjected in
the background, you could tell that although she was used
(17:36):
to John's John miles an hour delivery, she was poised
on the edge of her seat, chomping at the bit
to correct and or add her two cents in. When
it came time for a cat's name, it got even
more hilarious. I think we've all known and sometimes loved
(17:57):
as Charlotte with an S in our lives. They had
words to get out than there are seconds in a day.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some people just
have an innate need to speak. And you could also
tell Charlotte with an S was very used to running
John's affairs as much as he'll let her. I pictured
them at the doctor, with John plodding along answering questions,
(18:21):
and her correcting and interjecting and giving the doctor exasperated looks,
and I laughed even harder. That is one of the
best descriptions ever. John's John Miles an hour delivery. That
is such a brilliant turn of phrase. This poor guy
(18:44):
is probably probably in collections or accounts receivable all day,
his amazing creativity stifled, and reading the great books on
(19:06):
his lunch break while he eats an apple, and his
friend and his colleagues think he's the weirdest dude ever.
But he's not. I mean, in a sense, he is,
but in a glorious, beautiful way. Listen to this line again.
And this is just an email to the show. He
has no idea I'm even going to read it. His
wife loved and respected him enough to let him take
(19:30):
the lead on the call. But from the first time
she interjected in the background, you could tell that Comma,
although she was used to John's John Miles an hour delivery,
she was poised on the edge of her seat, chomping
at the bit to correct and or add her two
(19:53):
cents in that is so, that's literature. I might not
frame that. That's one of my favorite emails. She was
used to, although she was used to John's and these
are all hyphenated. John Miles an hour delivery. That's the
speed in which he speaks, John Miles an hour. That
(20:14):
is just I cannot tell you enough. I love it.
I love it. Let's go to Linda Johnson. Linda, you're
on the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
Hi, how are you?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I'm good, Linda good.
Speaker 6 (20:31):
I'm glad you are. I wanted to ask the question
of your opinion. A five year old was brought into
the pediatric office doctor's office that had put his head
and threw the child's chair slat where the neck was.
(20:51):
The slat was over his neck and begged his kit
the children in his class to jump on it and
break so he could die. How would he learn to
do that in the first place. I know that if
they watched things they shouldn't watch on TV. But for
him to be that inventive is amazing to me. And
(21:15):
I'm just wondering your opinion on how he would have
realized figured out how.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
To do that.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
He is probably a student of the French Revolution, and
when he got to the part about the guillotine, that
was just too much. He just he just had to
he had to see if that would work right. He
might he might have fallen in with the Jacobins, and
he thought to himself that that he appreciated their plight
(21:42):
and he would get to acting out. I mean, this
could be an advanced, uh you know, future French history expert.
I mean, it's inventive. If you have to admit it's inventive.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
It's very inventive. And that's what I was wondering.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
How did you come to know of this story?
Speaker 6 (22:02):
Linda, my granddaughter, works in the pediatric office, and she
told us about it. She was just just so upset
about it because him being only five and then asking
his taskmates to jump on it to kill him, and
it just ooh. I said, I got to talk to
(22:23):
you about that, because you always have good ideas.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I'm going to say something that's going to upset the women,
and it might upset you, and it's not intended to provoke.
I promise you this, but I'm going to say this, okay,
and the boys are going to the boys among us
are going to going to nod because they know. I'm right,
what goes through a little boy's mind? What goes through
(22:50):
a little boy's mind, and it never stops. Okay, we learn,
we learned, We learn how to not express it or
in any way reveal it. If women understood what goes
through a little boy's mind, you would live in an
anxious frenzy at all times. And I mean sexual violence
(23:20):
dangerous if you if if women understood, they beat it
out of us. Uh, and they make like a show
of this little kid. I'll bet you three percent of
kids have thought to themselves. I wonder if I could,
you know, if you could cut my head off, if
(23:41):
I would still be able to think? Let me see
you just little girls are not the species. We're so different, Linda,
you wouldn't believe it, and I think it would just
would horrify the school are primarily made up or at
(24:03):
least historically work of women. So little boys went from
their home where their mother is just horrified that people
will know the things that her son says and does.
And by shrieking when little boys do this, women teach
little boys that it's not acceptable. So little boys learn
(24:23):
from an early age not to ever express anything that's
outside the norm, and so by the time they get
to school, it's all about it's about handcuffing them. It's
about restraining that creativity, that wandering mind. But when I
(24:45):
tell you that the things that go through our minds
from the earliest ages would shock you and horrify them,
so you think that's just me All Greek cities in
between these. The Michael Berry Show is nationwide.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Welcome on.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
I have noticed four out of five Robert oldteen fans fellas,
and the reason is it's not pretty language, it's not
traditional languages. His storytelling is talking about things that we
do that happen, that we feel, that we wonder, that
(25:31):
are not remarkable. They're only remarkable in their normalcy, but
him giving voice to it. Pam writes zar Ernie's is
a well known Pasadena restaurant that's been around since the eighties.
He has some of the best food around. There probably
(25:52):
isn't one policeman in Pasadena that hasn't eaten at his place.
The Pasadena School District uses him for a lot of
their cater to events. Also, the policeman being honored tonight
at Ernie's is a detective in Pasadena. I feel like
she's a little bit protective of the detective, Like maybe
(26:13):
he's not appreciating the detective sufficiently. I got a message
from our old friend, Mark Turpin. You remember Mark Turpin. Yeah,
Pasadena cop. Yeah, Shanna got smoking white, smoking hot wife.
I came to know Mark Turpin through Jonathan Kim. He
and Jonathan Kim are big buddies and Mark Turpin. You'll
(26:36):
remember this story. Remember we had the dartboard to the
side of the Russell eybar. Uh, the bar, the big,
big long bar. If you walked in the front door
and you went to the left, we had the box
office right there on that wall toward the bar. You
could walk back into the side of the kitchen in
(26:58):
the liquor room right there. If you walked in right there,
you walked down that wall, there was we had a big, beautiful,
very ornate decorative dartboard. Okay. That was presented to us,
I think the day before we opened, and it was
(27:19):
brought to us by Jonathan Kim. He had bought it,
he had designed it and paid for it because he's
got a lot of money because he runs gringos, And
he had bought it and paid for it. And a
friend of his had made it, and he said, and
I hadn't met this guy yet. Since his he's been
a very good friend, become a very good friend. And
he said, a buddy of mine's Opacaden a cop and
(27:41):
he made this. I said, oh wow, uh pretty cool. Well,
later I come to find out that his buddy, now
my friend, Mark Turpin, had cut off the ends of
his fingers doing woodworking, and that he had done that
(28:03):
about two weeks ago. Well, his hand is all bandaged
up at this point, so I asked to see a
picture of it. You ever see a Salvador Dali painting,
you know how things melt? His fingers. His wife Shanna
had taken pictures of his fingers before he went into hospital,
(28:26):
and it was like his fingers were melting, because the
bone was gone, the nail was gone, the end was gone,
a knuckle was gone. It was just skin. And I
don't know, I don't know what the other things were
in there. Capillari's a diaphragm. I don't know whatever was
in the end of his fingers. It was hanging down,
(28:47):
just dangling there, and all I could think was check
the dartboard for blood droppings. N cis back kicked in,
so I can't wait to see him and ask him,
did you cut your fingers off working on my dartboard?
(29:11):
Because that makes it more valuable, it makes it more special,
And did you finish right? No, he had not cut
his fingers working on my dartboard. He had cut his
fingers off, not on the project before my dartboard, but after,
(29:32):
meaning with his hands bandaged up, he went back and
made another dartboard, and again and again and again. He
does all sorts of woodwork. He also dresses like he's
a character when he's off duty, like he's a character
in the Outsiders. You remember the You know, he could
(29:54):
have been not the Greasers, but he could have been
one of the socials. He wears his hair in that
dip do, kind of fifties style Frankie Valley, you know
what I mean. It's real long on top and the
short on. He does that, and then he he he
wears a white T shirt like a Haint, just basic
white T shirt which he rolls up. He looks up
(30:15):
my dad in nineteen fifty seven. Yeah, it puts the
cigarettes in there, yep. And then and then he wears
like penny loafers with no penny, unironically, and then he
cuffs his jeans at the bottom and he's got about
a twenty nine inch waist, which a grown man ought
not to have, and then he wears the Buddy Holly glasses.
He is, he is completely in character, but he does
(30:39):
it in a way that's not like a guy going
to a costume party, like they're looking around, like, are
y'all all seeing me? Look at the cot He does
it as if he's is if he's being normal, but
it's not normal. And he does this and people just
everybody just acquiesces. He's just he's like just he's just
pulled out of nineteen fifty seven. If you went and
saw six years lad later the Kennedy Assassinate, you saw
(31:02):
this a bruder film, and you were to insert him
in there walking past as if just a guy walking
on the street, you'd go, I knew Mark Turpin was there.
He's a time traveler, yes, yes, anyway, so that Detective
Caleb's dad is riding with Mark Turpin today. He asked
to ride Mark Turpin his last day. And now all
(31:25):
I can think is that movie Falling Down remembered Duval's
last day. It's his last day, and I don't want
to ruin it. But out on the boardwalk Jeff Wright
czar it Is said the human palette can recognize five
flavors sweet, salty, bitter, sour, and umami, which means savory.
(31:47):
I truly believe smoke should be added to the list.
Any meats that are smoked have a unique flavor. We
all know this. We sat by and accepted it when
Nolan Ryan never received a cy Young Award, and everybody
knows he should. Half This smoke snub can no longer
be allowed to continue. Thanks for considering. Happy Friday, Jeff, Uh,
(32:09):
we did, Linda.
Speaker 5 (32:11):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Let's go to Randy. Randy, You're on the Michael Berry Show. Yes, sir,
John's Miles for Hours could be a hard act to follow,
but you know, I just know it was John's John
Miles an hour. There was John's John Mile an hour delivery.
What a line I'm gonna think.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
About my day. Well, my hat's off to literary giant
for sure.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yeah, but you have a good voice. I'll say you
got it. You got a good voice for radio. Just
hold on just a moment, we'll get We'll get to
you straight out of the gate. Maybe you could think
up a clever line. We'll give you a couple of
minutes to think up something clever, to just spice in
the real delicately, just throw it in like it's natural.
But we'll know when you do it. Well, we'll know,
(33:00):
h John's John Miles an hour delivery. How slow or
fast is his delivery. It's John Miles an hour because
(33:22):
it's his delivery. It's John's John Miles an hour. That
is so perfect
It's that time time, time, time, luck and load. The
Michael Very Show is on the air. They must passed away.
It would be our national holiday hip the South. What
a one we'd have had it made.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I would like to explain to you that Sudtherners have
a heritage that just about everything we get involved in
is funny. That's right.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
You can take some individual who doesn't live in the
South to come in the South and just sit down
and listen to us, and it ain't long.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
They commenced to Latin, making.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Their way the only way they know how.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Let's just little bit more both over the love.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
I go downtown and yeah, Azoo City may sit there
to hang on a parking meeting every now and then,
just to visit with old buddies. Go by the barber
shop and we'll talk, it says Jered. Where you've been lately.
We'll have a good time visited. And the other day
I was visiting in downtown Yasoo City. Stand on the street, corner,
(01:19):
bunch of folks out, we is talking, and a funeral
possession started by.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Now, there's nothing funny about.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Getting picking your way the only way, ain't no how,
that's just a little bit Nold, the Lord.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Of love excel In the South, an expression may be
made that they don't even intend to be funny, but
Southerners are naturally humorous. The funeral possession started by, and
everybody got quiet, got reverent, turned toward the street, put
the hand over the heart, and I whispered to this
old boy, I said, who died? He said to one
(01:59):
in the first car.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh, that's what I'm supposed to talk. Okay, Caleb held
out till last, but you were what was left.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
So here we go.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
We're scraping the bottom of the barrel. Here seven one, three,
one thousand. Did this to me? Go ahead, Caleb?
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Can you hear me? Mister Barry, yep, I give you.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I got you.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
I think I'm not sure this is what you consider
the shout out? Can I can I recognize someone on radio?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yes, Caleb, you can.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I would like to recognize today as the ceremony. My
dad's forty six years years with the police department. He's
retiring today today, Today, today is the ceremony at two pm.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Caleb, you have called every day this week. I have
not picked up in every day. It said you were
calling about your dad. Now you're certain that today is
the day, because that means on those earlier days you
were calling and it wasn't the day he was retiring, right, Yeah,
I was.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
I just told your your your producer that that gets
me hooked up to wait for you. That I said,
oldha WHI I didn't think about that. It was along
the open line Friday day and I should have waited.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So so forty six years huh, yes, sir in two
o'clock today.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
Yes, sir, it's a less early or training center on
Genoa rebelu.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
And what are they doing? Like cake and punch tape dealt?
Speaker 5 (03:59):
I think I believe they are. Yeah, they're going to
show a shadow box all his recognition and his badges
and and talk about, uh, you know what all the
departments he's served in and what all he's done for
the police department.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Are you going?
Speaker 5 (04:14):
I believe. I believe so. My daddy I did a degree.
They're support him.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Well, if he told you about it, he probably would.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
Like you to come. Oh surely, Yeah, I live with
him too, so.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I kind of yeah, is your mom there? Does your
mom live there too?
Speaker 5 (04:32):
No, they divorced a long time ago.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
You know, I'll bet you the divorce rate for police
officers is one of the highest of all fields. It's
such a stressful job.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
I appreciate you taking the call, Michael.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Mister Michael, Yeah, So are you going to take him
for dinner or anything tonight? To celebrate?
Speaker 5 (04:50):
We are going, Uh it's off the Beltway and pasting
the boulevard and well between passing the Boulevard and Red
Blood at four p m. After that, we're going to
have a private party with family and friends at Ernie's
Cafe kitchen right there, just down the road.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Well, it's not gonna be private anymore. Have you been
to Bernie's.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Ernie's are in I'm not trying to correct you. I
just thought I thought you said Bernie.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I was just saying to get it right, Okay, Ernie's.
What's it called.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Ernie's Cafe?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yes, it says the original, like there's somebody else out
there trying to be Ernie's.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
I love it is.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
They got like a piece of fry, like a chicken
fried steak, and it just says the only thing that
says on the screen is the original, Like you know,
often imitated, ever duplicated.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
My opinion, he's he's the best he's the best restaurant
in my opinion, well one of them out there for sure.
I think he's fabulous.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Do you have a hotline to him? Do you have
a way to talk to him? Because I need to
pass a message to him?
Speaker 5 (06:05):
What you want? You will let me see you want you?
Are you saying no?
Speaker 1 (06:09):
No, if you're going to see him, get him there? No, no,
if you're going to see him, Just if you could
pass this message to him. He's got in thirty seconds
on his website, I've come across about twenty five different
fonts and that's a that's a real irritant to me.
He's probably got a daughter that that took a weekend
web program programming class, and God bless her, she made
(06:32):
his web page for him, and it's just she's just
pulled every different kind of font. There's times new rooming
over here, there's helvetica over here, there's some cursive that
you can't even read. And if there's words that are
that are illegible because she's ripped off these fonts that
are I guess intended to look like cursive and they're
(06:54):
just not working. And I need somebody to pass that
to him. Just standardize the fonts. That's all I ask.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
See.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Like on one page, if you go to it, Caleb, it
says Ernie's Cafe and Catering, or at least I think
it does, because it's in a script that has more
seraphs than I've ever seen in my life, and so
you can barely read it, just barely read it. It
looks like jumbled up Bob Wars what it looks like.
And then underneath it you see it ramon go to
(07:26):
Ernie's theriginal dot com Ernie's Restaurant in Pasadena. And then
when you go to catering, if you click on catering, Yeah,
if you go to visit us, it's gonna say Ernie's
Cafe and Catering, or at least I think it does.
And it looks like a whole barrel of bob War
(07:49):
because it's all you see it, and it's just all
mixed up in there. And then underneath that, which is
at least legible, it says our location and it's a
and that is in a bold font that is cursive,
but at least it's legible, and it's but it's a
totally different font. It makes me crazy when I see
(08:14):
multiple fonts on a website, from levisians to librarians. Everyone
listens to Michael Berry show, pull on not that song
you were Stop and think about the fact that one
day that song didn't exist, But there are John F.
(08:43):
Kennedy never heard that song, right, That song didn't exist
and people didn't know it didn't exist. And once you
understand the profound existential nature of that, you start considering
(09:08):
the vast unknown, what doesn't exist, that we don't know
doesn't exist and we will never know doesn't exist. But
someone else will or they won't because that band doesn't
for him, because Billy stays in Dallas, or Dusty takes
(09:33):
a job at the construction crew. I mean you think
about that for a moment. I mean, on a more
pedestrian level, imagine being the first person to hear that
song once they've got it worked up to at least
close to this version, and they go, all right, give
(09:54):
this a listen. We want you to want you give
us your honest opinion. What do you think of this?
I like to I think they didn't ask anybody's honest opinion.
Like we're a three piece band. It sounds like twenty
we're gonna play the thickest strings ever on a bass
guitar like it's rhythm, and to hell with everybody else. Oh,
and by the way, we're gonna have real long beards,
(10:18):
and except the guy named Beard, and he's not gonna
have a beard. And Billy's gonna wear something like a
skull cap. What's it called a kaffir? He's gonna wear
a knitted skull cap for no good reason. And we're
(10:39):
gonna be skinny with long beards playing an instrument in
the way you've never heard of past where we should be.
We're gonna be in our prime past when bands first
lighted up. After after mind you, having had a regional
cult following with a whole different vibe, traveling around with
(11:03):
tractor trailer loads of animals on the national tour of Texas. Yeah,
then we're gonna go MTV mainstream and be the hottest
thing out there and sex symbols even though we don't dance.
How unlikely was that whole set of events? Now play
(11:23):
it now and can think about it? What about that?
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
All right, let's do it. All right, let's have you
say something but that's pretty good. Yeah, leave that in there.
Listen to this remon, the Astros brought Satchel Page to
test pitching conditions, specifically to see how breaking balls would
behave in the new indoor air condition environment. Now, mind you,
(11:57):
he's fifty nine at this point. This event took place
on February seventh, nineteen sixty five, about two months before
the Astrodome's official opening on April ninth, nineteen sixty five.
Page's assessment was glowing. He called the Astrodome a picture's paradise,
(12:17):
noting that the windless conditions allowed for greater control and
movement on sensitive pitches. In an April nineteen sixty five
interview with Frank god Soo of the Amarill Daily News,
Satchel Page said, I've pitched in more places than any
other man, living or dead, but there's no place to
pitch like the Astrodom Stadium in Houston. Man, that place
(12:41):
is something else. He believed the controlled environment could have
extended his career by a decade if it had existed earlier,
as it eliminated variables like wind and weather that often
disrupted a picture's rhythm. You're a think about how crazy
it was the first time people walked into the astronaut
(13:04):
mean we take it for granted, it's old and outdated.
It needs to be torn down, so we'd have parking
for NRG n RG. But the first time you walked
into that place, it had to seemed like I mean,
I still can't figure out the span. How they got
the span? I can't. I can't have a span more
than twenty foot in my house without a pillar in
(13:26):
the middle of it. How in the world they accomplished
that in the mid sixties is beyond because you didn't
have a lot of the technology you have now. You
didn't have the equipment, You didn't have the same cranes
and booms and composites. This really is incredible. And to
(13:46):
think about Satchel Page's career, Satul Page. Nobody knows what
Satchel Page did before he was fifty. By the time
Satchel Page is famous, he's an old man, an old
black man in the sixties who is famous for defying age.
(14:11):
This old black man is talking, is talking about things.
It really is. It shatters to mind. It's to fathom
you think about here comes Satchel Page. They set it
up so somebody had some secretary, had to be on
(14:32):
the phone with Satul Page. Because he didn't have an assistant,
I'm sure, and she had to tell him where to
be and he had to figure out how to get there,
and he didn't have Google Maps, so she had to
tell him how to get there, and then she had
to tell him what street to come to and at
the gate, and then they had to have some guy,
(14:53):
just some random guy who's probably still alive. And he
stood at the gate and waited and she said, what
are you going to be in? And he would have said,
I'm going to be in a green Cadillac. Okay, So
some guy had to sit out there and wait and
Satchel Page was probably late, so for an hour and
a half. Let's see what month it was, February okay,
(15:14):
so at least it wasn't hot. Yeah, February seventh. Some
dudes sat out there and waited until he saw the
green Cadillac pull up and he waved and he pulled
him over, and maybe he got in. It took a
while to get in because that door was so big,
and he got in. He fell into that big old
cadillac and he slammed it back and he pointed to
(15:38):
where to go, and they drove up and there were
more people along the way. Oh, here he comes, yeah, yeah,
here he comes. And then somebody waited, and there was
there was the official entry to the Astrodome that nobody
had been in yet. And so Satchel Page would have
bespied that building and looked around and cocked his head
(15:58):
and they would have pulled up. You just pull right on.
They might let him pull inside. They might let him
pull in like it was the seventy nine eighty football season.
They brought the and they opened the door, and he
pulled up there.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
And.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
They show him wearing a wear in a uniform. They
got in an Astro's uniform. Maybe they sent him an
astros uniform because they took photos, I'm sure. And he
put on a uniform and he went out there and
somebody had to catch for him. Think about how elaborate
this whole thing had to be.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
His finger on the pulse.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
The King of Team continues on the Michael Berry Show.
The best email of the month so far from Jeff
stevens Now mind you. When he says Charlotte with an S,
he spells it Charlotte with the sea, the way it's
supposed to be, and then he spells out with an S. Okay,
(16:55):
can I get some real light music to go under this?
This is this is the best email in a while.
This sounds like me and my buddy's talking about what
we talked about on the air that day, but he's
put it in an email without knowing me. Subject John
(17:16):
and Charlotte with an S is call this morning. I
was wiping tears from laughing on my drive to work
this morning listening to John's call. His wife loved and
respected him enough to let him take the lead on
the call, but from the first time she interjected in
the background, you could tell that although she was used
(17:36):
to John's John miles an hour delivery, she was poised
on the edge of her seat, chomping at the bit
to correct and or add her two cents in. When
it came time for a cat's name, it got even
more hilarious. I think we've all known and sometimes loved
(17:57):
as Charlotte with an S in our lives. They had
words to get out than there are seconds in a day.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some people just
have an innate need to speak. And you could also
tell Charlotte with an S was very used to running
John's affairs as much as he'll let her. I pictured
them at the doctor, with John plodding along answering questions,
(18:21):
and her correcting and interjecting and giving the doctor exasperated looks,
and I laughed even harder. That is one of the
best descriptions ever. John's John Miles an hour delivery. That
is such a brilliant turn of phrase. This poor guy
(18:44):
is probably probably in collections or accounts receivable all day,
his amazing creativity stifled, and reading the great books on
(19:06):
his lunch break while he eats an apple, and his
friend and his colleagues think he's the weirdest dude ever.
But he's not. I mean, in a sense, he is,
but in a glorious, beautiful way. Listen to this line again.
And this is just an email to the show. He
has no idea I'm even going to read it. His
wife loved and respected him enough to let him take
(19:30):
the lead on the call. But from the first time
she interjected in the background, you could tell that Comma,
although she was used to John's John Miles an hour delivery,
she was poised on the edge of her seat, chomping
at the bit to correct and or add her two
(19:53):
cents in that is so, that's literature. I might not
frame that. That's one of my favorite emails. She was
used to, although she was used to John's and these
are all hyphenated. John Miles an hour delivery. That's the
speed in which he speaks, John Miles an hour. That
(20:14):
is just I cannot tell you enough. I love it.
I love it. Let's go to Linda Johnson. Linda, you're
on the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
Hi, how are you?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I'm good, Linda good.
Speaker 6 (20:31):
I'm glad you are. I wanted to ask the question
of your opinion. A five year old was brought into
the pediatric office doctor's office that had put his head
and threw the child's chair slat where the neck was.
(20:51):
The slat was over his neck and begged his kit
the children in his class to jump on it and
break so he could die. How would he learn to
do that in the first place. I know that if
they watched things they shouldn't watch on TV. But for
him to be that inventive is amazing to me. And
(21:15):
I'm just wondering your opinion on how he would have
realized figured out how.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
To do that.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
He is probably a student of the French Revolution, and
when he got to the part about the guillotine, that
was just too much. He just he just had to
he had to see if that would work right. He
might he might have fallen in with the Jacobins, and
he thought to himself that that he appreciated their plight
(21:42):
and he would get to acting out. I mean, this
could be an advanced, uh you know, future French history expert.
I mean, it's inventive. If you have to admit it's inventive.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
It's very inventive. And that's what I was wondering.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
How did you come to know of this story?
Speaker 6 (22:02):
Linda, my granddaughter, works in the pediatric office, and she
told us about it. She was just just so upset
about it because him being only five and then asking
his taskmates to jump on it to kill him, and
it just ooh. I said, I got to talk to
(22:23):
you about that, because you always have good ideas.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I'm going to say something that's going to upset the women,
and it might upset you, and it's not intended to provoke.
I promise you this, but I'm going to say this, okay,
and the boys are going to the boys among us
are going to going to nod because they know. I'm right,
what goes through a little boy's mind? What goes through
(22:50):
a little boy's mind, and it never stops. Okay, we learn,
we learned, We learn how to not express it or
in any way reveal it. If women understood what goes
through a little boy's mind, you would live in an
anxious frenzy at all times. And I mean sexual violence
(23:20):
dangerous if you if if women understood, they beat it
out of us. Uh, and they make like a show
of this little kid. I'll bet you three percent of
kids have thought to themselves. I wonder if I could,
you know, if you could cut my head off, if
(23:41):
I would still be able to think? Let me see
you just little girls are not the species. We're so different, Linda,
you wouldn't believe it, and I think it would just
would horrify the school are primarily made up or at
(24:03):
least historically work of women. So little boys went from
their home where their mother is just horrified that people
will know the things that her son says and does.
And by shrieking when little boys do this, women teach
little boys that it's not acceptable. So little boys learn
(24:23):
from an early age not to ever express anything that's
outside the norm, and so by the time they get
to school, it's all about it's about handcuffing them. It's
about restraining that creativity, that wandering mind. But when I
(24:45):
tell you that the things that go through our minds
from the earliest ages would shock you and horrify them,
so you think that's just me All Greek cities in
between these. The Michael Berry Show is nationwide.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Welcome on.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
I have noticed four out of five Robert oldteen fans fellas,
and the reason is it's not pretty language, it's not
traditional languages. His storytelling is talking about things that we
do that happen, that we feel, that we wonder, that
(25:31):
are not remarkable. They're only remarkable in their normalcy, but
him giving voice to it. Pam writes zar Ernie's is
a well known Pasadena restaurant that's been around since the eighties.
He has some of the best food around. There probably
(25:52):
isn't one policeman in Pasadena that hasn't eaten at his place.
The Pasadena School District uses him for a lot of
their cater to events. Also, the policeman being honored tonight
at Ernie's is a detective in Pasadena. I feel like
she's a little bit protective of the detective, Like maybe
(26:13):
he's not appreciating the detective sufficiently. I got a message
from our old friend, Mark Turpin. You remember Mark Turpin. Yeah,
Pasadena cop. Yeah, Shanna got smoking white, smoking hot wife.
I came to know Mark Turpin through Jonathan Kim. He
and Jonathan Kim are big buddies and Mark Turpin. You'll
(26:36):
remember this story. Remember we had the dartboard to the
side of the Russell eybar. Uh, the bar, the big,
big long bar. If you walked in the front door
and you went to the left, we had the box
office right there on that wall toward the bar. You
could walk back into the side of the kitchen in
(26:58):
the liquor room right there. If you walked in right there,
you walked down that wall, there was we had a big, beautiful,
very ornate decorative dartboard. Okay. That was presented to us,
I think the day before we opened, and it was
(27:19):
brought to us by Jonathan Kim. He had bought it,
he had designed it and paid for it because he's
got a lot of money because he runs gringos, And
he had bought it and paid for it. And a
friend of his had made it, and he said, and
I hadn't met this guy yet. Since his he's been
a very good friend, become a very good friend. And
he said, a buddy of mine's Opacaden a cop and
(27:41):
he made this. I said, oh wow, uh pretty cool. Well,
later I come to find out that his buddy, now
my friend, Mark Turpin, had cut off the ends of
his fingers doing woodworking, and that he had done that
(28:03):
about two weeks ago. Well, his hand is all bandaged
up at this point, so I asked to see a
picture of it. You ever see a Salvador Dali painting,
you know how things melt? His fingers. His wife Shanna
had taken pictures of his fingers before he went into hospital,
(28:26):
and it was like his fingers were melting, because the
bone was gone, the nail was gone, the end was gone,
a knuckle was gone. It was just skin. And I
don't know, I don't know what the other things were
in there. Capillari's a diaphragm. I don't know whatever was
in the end of his fingers. It was hanging down,
(28:47):
just dangling there, and all I could think was check
the dartboard for blood droppings. N cis back kicked in,
so I can't wait to see him and ask him,
did you cut your fingers off working on my dartboard?
(29:11):
Because that makes it more valuable, it makes it more special,
And did you finish right? No, he had not cut
his fingers working on my dartboard. He had cut his
fingers off, not on the project before my dartboard, but after,
(29:32):
meaning with his hands bandaged up, he went back and
made another dartboard, and again and again and again. He
does all sorts of woodwork. He also dresses like he's
a character when he's off duty, like he's a character
in the Outsiders. You remember the You know, he could
(29:54):
have been not the Greasers, but he could have been
one of the socials. He wears his hair in that
dip do, kind of fifties style Frankie Valley, you know
what I mean. It's real long on top and the
short on. He does that, and then he he he
wears a white T shirt like a Haint, just basic
white T shirt which he rolls up. He looks up
(30:15):
my dad in nineteen fifty seven. Yeah, it puts the
cigarettes in there, yep. And then and then he wears
like penny loafers with no penny, unironically, and then he
cuffs his jeans at the bottom and he's got about
a twenty nine inch waist, which a grown man ought
not to have, and then he wears the Buddy Holly glasses.
He is, he is completely in character, but he does
(30:39):
it in a way that's not like a guy going
to a costume party, like they're looking around, like, are
y'all all seeing me? Look at the cot He does
it as if he's is if he's being normal, but
it's not normal. And he does this and people just
everybody just acquiesces. He's just he's like just he's just
pulled out of nineteen fifty seven. If you went and
saw six years lad later the Kennedy Assassinate, you saw
(31:02):
this a bruder film, and you were to insert him
in there walking past as if just a guy walking
on the street, you'd go, I knew Mark Turpin was there.
He's a time traveler, yes, yes, anyway, so that Detective
Caleb's dad is riding with Mark Turpin today. He asked
to ride Mark Turpin his last day. And now all
(31:25):
I can think is that movie Falling Down remembered Duval's
last day. It's his last day, and I don't want
to ruin it. But out on the boardwalk Jeff Wright
czar it Is said the human palette can recognize five
flavors sweet, salty, bitter, sour, and umami, which means savory.
(31:47):
I truly believe smoke should be added to the list.
Any meats that are smoked have a unique flavor. We
all know this. We sat by and accepted it when
Nolan Ryan never received a cy Young Award, and everybody
knows he should. Half This smoke snub can no longer
be allowed to continue. Thanks for considering. Happy Friday, Jeff, Uh,
(32:09):
we did, Linda.
Speaker 5 (32:11):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Let's go to Randy. Randy, You're on the Michael Berry Show. Yes, sir,
John's Miles for Hours could be a hard act to follow,
but you know, I just know it was John's John
Miles an hour. There was John's John Mile an hour delivery.
What a line I'm gonna think.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
About my day. Well, my hat's off to literary giant
for sure.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Yeah, but you have a good voice. I'll say you
got it. You got a good voice for radio. Just
hold on just a moment, we'll get We'll get to
you straight out of the gate. Maybe you could think
up a clever line. We'll give you a couple of
minutes to think up something clever, to just spice in
the real delicately, just throw it in like it's natural.
But we'll know when you do it. Well, we'll know,
(33:00):
h John's John Miles an hour delivery. How slow or
fast is his delivery. It's John Miles an hour because
(33:22):
it's his delivery. It's John's John Miles an hour. That
is so perfect
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