AM Show Hr 3 | Kidnap by ICE (Sorta): Tales of Impersonation and Bold Moves

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
It's that time, time, time, time, luck and load.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
The Michael Verie Show is on the air, just an.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Early tease for something that will be coming up. And
I only say this because there's no action needed right now.
But sometimes people listen in a spotty fashion that may
listen today and then not be able to listen for
a month. And so if that is you, and you
know who you are. I have been in talks with

(00:56):
President Trump's team about an other Palm Beach visit for
our group and it will most likely be in September.
For those of you who came on the first trip,
we were not able to secure rooms at Mar Alago

(01:17):
but because it was already booked. But we have been
offered rooms at Mar a Lago itself this time, as
well as our other events we do. And hopefully the
President will drop in, but I can't. I don't promise that,
and I'm not going to promise that because if the
Pope dies and he's out of town, then he's not
going to drop in. But he has dropped in in

(01:38):
the past and been very cool about the whole deal.
It is very, very expensive, and so there will be
some guy out there that can't afford to go. That
pitches a fit and sends me fifteen emails on how
I'm an awful person and a sellout. I got to
block him, and I hate that because you know, he
otherwise sends me good emails, but he's mad he can't go,

(01:59):
and it's not my fault. I also can't buy a
Rolls Royce. I'm not mad at Rolls Royce because I
can't buy a Rolls Royce. It is a special trip.
It does cost a lot of money, and the people
who go all end up coming back.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Again and again.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Same thing with our Aspen trip because it's it's special,
and they end up.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Matt Trumbull and Kirk van Hook and their.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Wives Cindy and Stacy are in They are in Mexico
together right now. And that's the kind of people make
lifelong friends out of our associations, because you're self selecting
a group of people. I always say that the fun
of the trip mar Lago's cool. Don't get me wrong,
it's cool. It is special, There's no doubt about that.

(02:41):
Seeing the president in his natural habitat, he's ten feet
away from you, and you know this is his you're
at his house. It's very personal. He's walking around. You know,
the Secret Service are not keeping you away from him.
You don't go up to him, but he walks right
past you. You know, slap some some of our folks
on the shoulder, or tap them on the head, smile
them and give them a thumbs up. It's a very

(03:02):
very very special thing. I don't have the date, and
I don't have the exact price. It'll be somewhere between
twenty five and forty and that depends. That's per couple,
and that depends on whether we do the private jets
or you do.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Your own airline. And I'm working all that out.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
That's a I'm going to say about that for now.
I will if you are a person who has been
or that's something you might be interested in, send me
an email. I will hold on to it, Emily. We'll
get back to you when the time comes. One of
my favorite listeners right wrote me an email, said that
arrest that dolittle maid was about five minutes from my house,
right in front of the Brookshire Brothers that has the

(03:41):
sushi department with the sweet Asian lady who calls me
Big Daddy. I have nothing more to add. I just
wanted to mention that the sushi lady calls me big
Daddy and that it's good sushi as one would not
naturally expect from the Brookshire brothers in Magnolia, Texas, and
one other. And then we have a guest. I'm sorry,
I forgot we had a guest from one whoa, whoa, whoa.

(04:01):
We metal detectorists are very much alive and well. I'm
forty five and I've been detecting since two thousand.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
It's a great hobby.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
Although Houston and Harris County have kicked us out of
the city in county parks years ago, Memorial Park was
great back in the day. I found many World War
One buttons and coins and even dog tags. I got
to return one dog tag to its owner a few
years ago, and I documented the research and getting in
touch with his grandson and he posts a video. Most
of the beach hunting will be done in the water
or at night, and generally speaking, most of us want

(04:31):
to be left alone while we're hunting, unless you want
to tell me about an old property I can hunt,
which in case I'll be all ears.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Go out just.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
About any summer night and you'll see at least one
guy out there with a headlamp if it's on working
the surf.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
That's a good story, all right.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
Melanie Varga was a woman who emailed me. I don't
remember all the details about something with regard to her
kids and ADHD, but she was one of my favorite
categories of people. She was a mommy to advocate for
her little ones and going full mama bear. And Melanie,

(05:06):
what happened? You sent me an email that you told
me this a couple of days ago, that you told
me some time ago about a problem with your kids.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
And then I asked you to come on and you
said you wouldn't come on, And I said, well, then
you're not as passionate about it, because if this was true,
you'd be shouting from the rooftops. And now you've decided,
is that what happened?

Speaker 3 (05:27):
Yes, thank you, because I can sometimes be a little
bit short, not not rude, but short.

Speaker 4 (05:34):
No, no, no, not at all, just you know you're
on the outside looking in, not rude at all. So yeah,
they my kids had some problems from some decisions they made,
and you know, I'll respect their privacy in that space,
but they were painful, and you know, these were huge

(05:56):
lessons for them and very painful our whole family, and
that pain I'm turning into my purpose. So the root
cause is weak executive function skills, and for them that's
because of their ADHD. And so yeah, that's common in

(06:18):
people with various types of neurodivergence, whether it's some forms
of autism, even people who have had a stroke. You know,
I was talking to someone the other day whose kid
had a stroke, and so they have weak executive function skills.
So neuronest ai is an app that I'm building. I

(06:41):
have a developer building it for me, and it's going
to be brain training games, mindfulness tools, and an AI companion.
Debated making the AI companion optional because some people are
against AI, but it is I think so important to

(07:03):
help these kids get to the next level that it's
just going to be included. It'll be part of it,
and there will be controls in place. Parents will be
able to turn off and on different areas of the app.
The AI is actually it's not an open source. I
had to get my developer to give me the kind

(07:25):
of the verbiage on this, but it's an open aikey
with a wrapper on it that includes all the protocols.
We want to protect these kids so that it can
only be used for what isn't is intended to be
used for. It's intended to be a companion. So if
they have a decision to make and they're having trouble

(07:46):
figuring out the right decision, they can talk to their
companion about it, and that ai companion will give them
ways to think about it, help them learn how to
think about the problem, not just what the right answer is.
It's also going to help them with their activities of
daily living.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
So as they're going about their hold on just a moment,
just a moment is on well done.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
So this is the Michael Berry Show.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
I realized I.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
Must in artful as to how I explain things were
insufficiently articulate.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
I don't really understand. But number of emails Yody, Hey,
can we get those details on the Palm Beach trip?
Uh to the details or we don't have the details yet.
We've just begun the process. When you.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
There's a lot that goes on to do this. We
have to settle on the date, the price of features,
what we're going to do. We go out on the
yacht one day, we go uh, we do all sorts
of things, and all of that affects what the price
has to be for all of this.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
So anyway, we don't have the details. We don't have
the day.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
If you're a person who would want to be informed
of the details once we have them, we will put
you on that list if you email, just say I
want to be on the list for Palm Beach or
for the trip or whatever, and you'll get an email
from Emily once that happens. For me, making the decision
that we were going to do the trip is the
biggest hurdle because it takes a ton of work, and

(09:27):
to decide to do that means I gotta yeah. Well anyway,
don't cry for me, Argentina. So, Melanie Varga is a
mommy first and foremost as it relates to this story, Melanie,
I want to make that sure. I'm saying, how did
you have access to an app developer? Most folks don't.

Speaker 4 (09:49):
I used an app called upwork to go hire someone.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
That can do the work, okay, and what direction did
you give them?

Speaker 4 (10:02):
I basically took some time to think about it. Started out,
I just wanted brain training games. I needed to get
my kids making better decisions. I thought, you know, just
a brain training game and then.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Give you an example. Would these be scenarios in what
you do?

Speaker 2 (10:17):
Or are these.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Asteroids?

Speaker 4 (10:21):
Yeah, so like they can be short little games. I
don't want to give the brand of another app out
there that's for geared more towards adults and has been
out there for a long time. But if you think
about memory games, decision making games, it's problem solving games.
That's the type of thing one of them were working on.

(10:42):
And the brain the games actually are not quite under development.
We've got like most of it built out on Pigma.
Now they're working on the graphics, the UI. It's all
going to be neurodivergent friendly. I learned that colors matter
when it comes to people with that are neuro divergent,
so it'll be kind of muted tones and so these games.

(11:07):
That was just my first you know, reactive you know,
how do I get better decisions? But it's more than that.
So I didn't realize at the time, though I most
clearly do now that mindfulness is a huge part of it.
So these mindfulness tools are going to help them. So
emotional dysregulation is also a big part of ADHD and

(11:28):
other neurodivergent struggles and these executive function skills, and so
we'll have an entire, a big section on mindfulness. So
it'll it'll have different mindfulness activities like mindfully walking, mindfully stretching,
mindfully eating, and these will all be where the parent
can turn them on or off. For example, I don't
want one of my sons to be mindfully eating because

(11:50):
he sits there left to his own devices, he'll take
two hours to eat, so I don't want him to
slow down his eating process. And then it also has
breath work in there, so it'll it'll give guided visuals
on doing like box breathing or deep breathing. I know
when I get disregulated myself and you know, I want
to take a minute to breathe. I can't count do

(12:12):
this for ten seconds, to this for ten seconds. Now
need to excel or I need to hold whatever that is.
So we'll have this graphic that will guide them through
their breath work. And then there's also you know, the
like grounding exercises.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
When is this quite a.

Speaker 4 (12:33):
Month? The developer says a little less than that, but
I'm saying a month.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
And then what will now be available on the App Store.

Speaker 4 (12:41):
It'll be available on Google Play and the App Store,
so it's going to be both uh, it can work
with Android and iPhone. Now, before it goes live, people
can go to my website neuronest Ai dot app, neuro
neuronest Ai, neuro n e u r O nest any
s t Ai dot app. They can sign up to

(13:07):
be a beta tester. So I have a limited spots available.
So when we get all those names in there and
we get ready to do a drawing to see, you know,
who gets to be a beta tester, there will be
no charge for that. And then of course I want
feedback on how's it working and what areas do you
think need to be improved or you know, if there's
a glitch somewhere, I definitely want to know that about that,

(13:30):
and then once we're done with that, then we'll make
whatever corrections or adjustments we need to make and then
it'll be released to the public.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
What does it mean to you again to do something mindfully? Said,
to walk mindfully or to eat mindfully? What does that
mean to you?

Speaker 4 (13:50):
Sure, it's about being in the moment and thinking about
what you're doing and the environment you're around when you're
doing that. You're deserving. You know what's in your environment,
what do you see, what do you smell sometimes, what
do you taste?

Speaker 1 (14:06):
And is that about good decision or is it about focus?
Help me drill down into that.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
Yeah, right, So the app is about strengthening your executive
function skills. Decision making is an outcome of that. So
your executive function skills is you know, your ability to focus,
the plan, to organize, to manage your time, to control
your impulses, to follow through on tasks. The skills needed

(14:34):
for that are your working memory, your inhibitory control, so
controlling your inhibitions or having inhibitions, cognitive flexibility, planning and organizing.
The emotional regulation. So emotional regulation I did not connect

(14:54):
until recently is also a big part of ADHD and transparency. Transparently,
I really believe this for me is a journey, a
god thing, because both of my kids have ADHD and
their twins are fraternal, but they have it in very
different ways. So one is notorious for not making very

(15:19):
good decisions, another one struggles with emotional disregulation.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
So I'm going to have.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
You back when this app is finished and we can
actually go over the app live on the hopefully that'll be.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
Your lucky day.

Speaker 5 (15:45):
The O I n s let's kick y I all right, stop,
collaborate and listen is back with a brand newing shant.
Deport aliens daily, put them in a catapult, watch them
fly away. We won't interstop hell No only word in

(16:06):
Spanish that we know is audios to the extreme. Kick
him out, things to home, and if you hear illegally,
you gotta go man first. It's the violin of fenders
game banging thought. You best so rendered, nest up minor infractions.
If you resist in the contraction, we love it and
you'll leave it. Hormand don't blame you. Better hit the road,
Jack Colbrand and you are a problem.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Trump just solved it. The butter in the door that's revolving.

Speaker 5 (16:28):
I I Spain bo us my Spain, domus my Spain head.

Speaker 4 (16:40):
Spain.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
I don't want to go.

Speaker 6 (16:45):
Ice is coming.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
I prefer I stay.

Speaker 6 (16:50):
Icis comy really lie my lie? Ice is coming U
s A Ice is coming here.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Three years he is coming.

Speaker 5 (17:03):
Joe Biden say he's hold Jolyon, he's a fire.

Speaker 7 (17:07):
I got e b D.

Speaker 6 (17:08):
Car is coming a free I'm fall I phone back
im Tom Ice Meaby.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
Tom Hold, a Florida woman has been arrested for impersonating
an ICE officer in order to kidnap her ex boyfriend's
wife from work. She was outfitted with a shirt that
said ICE and equipped with a walkie talkie. The victim

(17:54):
told the popo that she believed the suspect was quote
an ICE law enforcement agent end quote, in part because
quote she had a handheld radio and she was talking
on it to who I assumed were other ICE agents.
Officers arrested fifty two year old Latrance Battle, La tr Ncee.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
I'm guessing she's not a white woman from Latrance.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
Of course, being a government employee and being black actually
makes it more credible, more believable.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
I mean, I mean really.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
Here is the story from WMBB Television in Lovely Panama City, Florida.

Speaker 8 (18:35):
This is fifty year old La Trance Battle. Deputy's arrested
Battle on Friday, April eleventh, the day after she allegedly
tried to arrest someone else. Becounty Sheriff's Office officials say
Battle showed up at the victim's job, identifying herself as
an ICE agent, wearing a black shirt with ICE printed
on the front, carrying a handheld radio and.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
A Sheriff's office business card.

Speaker 8 (18:54):
The woman, who was in the process of becoming a
legal United States resident, told deputies she believed Battle was
legitimate and got into a car with her. She claims
she tried to call her husband and her lawyer, but
Battle snatched away her phone. Officials say the victim became
growingly concerned after they passed the Sheriff's office and the jail.
When they stopped at the Bridge Plaza apartment complex, the
victim was able to escape, and a concerned citizen assisted

(19:15):
in contacting authorities. This is Sheriff's office bodycam video of
Battle's arrest. The Acounty Sheriff's officials say this was a
targeted incident.

Speaker 9 (19:23):
There is a connection between the victim's husband in miss
Battle goes back a few years ago, so there has
not been much much connection lately, but they do know
each other. This is definitely a targeted, particular incident that
happened here.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
We're not concerned about.

Speaker 9 (19:42):
Anything else like this happening, but she did pick her victim,
and so we don't believe there's any other threat to
the public at this time.

Speaker 8 (19:52):
Yad's Battle appeared to be on her way out of
town when she was arrested. Battle's charged with kidnapping and
commission of a felony robbery by sudden snatching in person
an officer, and commission of a felony and felony violation
of probation. She's held on eighty five thousand dollars bond
on the first three charges and held without bond on
the probation violation.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Oh that's like.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
Saying, yesterday a woman in Crosby went over to her
her ex boyfriend's house, and she shot her ex boyfriend's
now wife, and then she turned the gun on herself. Now,
let's talk to local law enforcement. Should the public be concerned,
Should people in Pairland be worried? No, we think this

(20:36):
was an isolated event. We've got it under control.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
Now you think this Latrentce woman was going to hold
her for ransom?

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Ramon, Hello, my speaking with FBI.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
They beat yet if you wanted the girl back at life,
he said, the talk.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Okay, I'm listening.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
Let me get me.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
The drop will be made tonight eleven pm.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
In months will be fifteen million dollars, fifty million dollars.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
You think you're getting up Chelsea Clayton.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
I love this story so much and it's a it's
a bad movie, but for real, I mean, can't you
just imagine imagine Latrnce battle and how this makes sense.
She's talking to Shamikuah, Shamikha. I'm so mad at Tremaine.

Speaker 4 (21:26):
Girl.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
What you're talking about. I'm just sitting here being mad
at Tremaine.

Speaker 4 (21:32):
Girl.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
He had been your man in three years.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
I'm still mad at him, still mad at him. You
know I gave I let him borrow my car. He
ain't never brought it back. Girl, that's been three years.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
I know, I know.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
I don't want my fat ass hat on the on
the bus. I ain't got time for the bus.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
I'm out on the bus and him probably he probably
don't already wrecked my car.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
Why are you worried about Tremaine. I'm just mad at it.
I'm gonna get him back.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
What are you gonna do, Latrnce? What are you gonna do?
He'll beat you up again. Oh, I'm gonna get him,
you know, I'm gonna do. You know he dating that
Mexican girl?

Speaker 1 (22:15):
Who is she cute?

Speaker 2 (22:16):
By the way?

Speaker 1 (22:17):
She Puerto Rican?

Speaker 4 (22:18):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (22:18):
Okay, well, what I'm gonna do. I'm on you know what,
I'm gonna sick Ice on her. I'm gonna get her
deported the trans You messing with the wrong thing, girl,
You messing with the wrong thing. No, you know what,
I'm gonna be the Ice. I'm gonna kidnap her. I'm
gonna go up to her job. She don't know what

(22:39):
I look like. She never seen me, and I'm wonna
kidnap her. The victim confirmed that she genuinely felt as
if La Trnce was an ICE agent at the time
and she is in the process of becoming.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
A legal US resident.

Speaker 3 (22:51):
As they were in the car traveling to their destination,
Latrance forcefully snatched the victim's wig off a not La
Trnce forcefully snatched the victim's phone from her as she
was trying to contact her lawyer and husband. After they
arrived at the Bridge Plaza apartment complex, the victim suspected

(23:15):
something was wrong because La Trance told the victim they
were going to the Sheriff's office.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yep, just keep on walking. I'll be behind you. I
got my own you.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
We're going into the sheriff's office. But this is Section
eight housing, Room eight b right down there, it's a
sheriff's office. We're going in and talk to shrif we're
gonna work this out. Man, this don't look like I
ain't been here my whole lot, but this don't look
like what I expected the sheriff's office to be. I
seen the rock profiles. This don't look like no sheriff's

(23:46):
office to me. Eight b keep walking, bitch, you just
keep on a walking.

Speaker 4 (23:51):
I work for it.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Let me you gonna make me pull out my walkie talkie.

Speaker 3 (23:55):
Love this story so much, Let's open the phone lines
for the last segment. If you've ever hadnapped anyone or
been kidnapped, or if you ever snuck into a concert
or a sporting event with an elaborate disguise, or you
ever pretended to be something you weren't and pulled it off.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
Make your story quick. Seven one three nine nine nine
one thousand, seven one three nine nine nine one.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
Thousand from.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
Me.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
That's a share for years.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
This is the Michael Ferry Show.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Ten seconds and think how great Peter Sellers was. Think about.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Peter Sellers in Doctor Strangelove. You know when we say
all time greatest. When you're in the conversation for all time,
greatest of anything. I think a lot of people say that,
you know, say, kwem bark all time, great a fuck
ball player, hitbody baita all time.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
I'm great as running back. Okay, all right, now, let's
let's have the conversation. You ever heard of a fello
named Walter Payton?

Speaker 3 (25:09):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, I mean out here he was good? Okay? Jim Brown?
You ever hear of Jim Brown? Okay? Then you're not
allowed to make a statement like that. You don't know
anything about anything.

Speaker 4 (25:23):
You know.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
You can't say that he might be, but you don't
have the context to be able to say that.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
Peter Sellers in Doctor Strangelove is one of the three
greatest cinematic acting performances of all time.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
And I'm not even giving any thought to what would
be the other two. I'm just telling you it is.
That is that great. You know what I love about
the Peter the Pink Panther theme song is that it
suggests everything that the Pink Panther is. It's clandestine. One
of my favorite words from the Latin clandestinus, meaning secretive.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
Great word.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
All the great words relating to espionage and the light
are French from the Latin route.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
All machiavellian in nature anyway, So to your.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Calls, if you ever snuck in anywhere pretended to be
somebody you weren't. This make the story quick so we
can get everybody on because I've already sucked up most
of the time with you know, pink panther stuff.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Richard, you're up, go.

Speaker 7 (26:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (26:30):
My brother and I were teenagers. We went to a
lot of Rocket games and we noticed the ball boys
how they were dressed, so we started dressing like them,
and towards the end of the game, we'd jump over
the rail and walk at the around the court and
we would go back into the dressing rooms, the hallway
and everything. And this was when the Rockets were playing
the Celtics for the championship. And actually got a pair

(26:53):
of Kevin mckel's.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
Shoes size seventeen. I bet.

Speaker 10 (26:59):
Yeah, I still have them. I got them in the
class case.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
My favorite, my favorite Kevin McHale story. They they were
calling him for traveling because of his patented drop step,
and so during the off season he had a production
company film him making that move, which was his signature move,
and they submitted it to the league and they spent
a lot of energy getting the league commissioner to take

(27:24):
a look at that.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
I don't know if it was Red R.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
Barker or who it was, it was involved in it,
and they they taught the referees that what he's doing
is unique, but it is actually legal.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
It does follow within within the rules. Love Kevin McHale.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
Uh, the white Man basketball of Kevin McHale, Larry Bird,
Danny Ainge, Dennis Johnson, he's practically white because he had freckles.
Those were some years. Oh, and the Chief Barbert Parrish Man,
those were good years. Victoria, what's your story?

Speaker 4 (28:00):
Uh?

Speaker 11 (28:00):
Yeah, I was kidnapped probably eight years ago. So that's
my story. It starts in Houston and I ended up
in Arizona, and it ended with, you know, just my
family having to come get me in the middle of
the night because I was just locked out of a
place where I was staying at. But there's a whole,

(28:21):
you know, story to it. I guess, I just don't
know how much.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
Time I have, Victoria in me a favor, I want
you to hold right there with me, about four or
five minutes left in this segment, and then I will
we will record this conversation in every last detail, and
we will post it to the podcast as soon as
we're through. Okay, can you hold with me for just
a few moments. You have my attention, Jeff. You're on
the Michael Berry Show. What's your story?

Speaker 4 (28:45):
Hey?

Speaker 7 (28:45):
My story is I'm back in high school. I went
to the different high school and my friends, and my
friends weren't detention, and so I went.

Speaker 4 (28:54):
To the other high school.

Speaker 7 (28:55):
Snuck in through the library window. And it was a
lower window where it opened up, you know, from the
bottom up, And so he snuck in there, tapped some
kid on the shoulder, got what his name was, I
don't remember what his name was, and told him to
go out through the window, and I sat and did
detention with him. I get his attention. And the other
at the other school, the other high school, so I
could hang out with my friends after school. And the

(29:17):
teacher of detention, he could not figure out what was
different because every time he called rolls three or four times,
every time I'd tell, I'd say the kid's name, you know,
and he's looking. He could not figure out. We thought
it was the funniest thing, but you know, it was
just it was better and hanging around outside waiting for
my friends.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
It's a good story.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
And I imagined that window. I know exactly what you're
talking about, those old metal framed windows with the panes
in the middle, and then they would just keep painting
over him with the old lead based, thick lacquered paint,
and so it would bubble over and the window never
closed correctly.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, I remember those. Well, Pete, you're up. What's your story?

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Pete, you're up?

Speaker 1 (29:57):
No, Pete h Richard you're up? Richard, go ahead, sir?
Would we talk to? Who do you want to? Susan,
you're up?

Speaker 12 (30:10):
When nineteen ninety six Olympics, I was in the Olympic
village with my dad. He was pretended to be the
rowing coach for the Ukraine team. I pretended to be
a gymnast. We took pictures with people all day and
gave autographs all day, but he had to translate for me.

Speaker 1 (30:26):
So does he speak Ukrainian?

Speaker 4 (30:30):
No, he doesn't speak anything.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
That's hilarious, so he would just fake a language.

Speaker 12 (30:36):
Uh huh that I was Natasha, So he was.

Speaker 4 (30:39):
He did do crue.

Speaker 12 (30:39):
He crude soke. He would mine everything and then just
would make up words and talk to me and then
I would go around and I can't imagine the people
that have their picture with me on their mantles.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
Yeah, yeah, I got a picture with Nadya Komenich and
this Ukrainian one, Susan. If that were done today, it's
so much funnier that it was done then. If that
were done today, it would just be a copycat of
everyone else doing it. But you were doing it before
that was known, and that was candid camera kind of stuff.
Tom Green kind of made that stuff famous. But if

(31:13):
that was done today, you would have it secretly filmed
and you would post it to TikTok and all the
Instagram and all those and it would go amazingly viral
because it would just be hilarious. You know, your dad
has to have the Is he still alive? Yes, he
has to have the best sense of humor to pull

(31:33):
that off.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
That is hilarious.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
I love that.

Speaker 12 (31:35):
Oh, and he does it all the time. He used
to pretend to see that he was deaf and would
the signal to me when we were on the London
Tube and he would just have full conversations. But he
doesn't know a lick of sign language.

Speaker 9 (31:46):
Right, I.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
Will call show, sponsors, friends, different people, and I will
alter the base of my voice just enough, and I
will speak to them in Spanish very fast and very aggressively,
and I'm never caught, and i will at the end
of it let them in because I'll then go into

(32:12):
broken English to try to help them get to the
point whe're trying to get to. And then at some
point I'll tell them it's me, and they don't believe it,
and they never find it funny, but I find it funny.
And the best advice I can give anyone in life
is when you can learn to laugh at your own jokes,
you have found true happiness because you don't.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
Need anybody else's approval.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
All we're going to post to the podcast that woman's
kidnapping story