November 26, 2025 • 31 mins
Michael Berry unpacks the wildest breakup move ever—plus UFC’s White House fight plans and other jaw-dropping tales. You’ll never look at a toilet the same way again.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's that time, time time, luck and load. The Michael
Berry Show is on the air. Good morning, Michaelberry, yield morning,
Michael Berry. Good morning, Michael, Good morning, Michael, good morning, Sar,
(00:27):
Good morning, Michael, Zay Sailor, Good morning, Elsina, Good morning, Michael. Hello, Hello,
are you there? Good morning you, Michaelberry. How you learned that?
Are ready tomorrow?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Money?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Good mornexcess.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Listen to.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Good morning, Texas.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Morning, your car, good.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Morning Texas onesday. We're happy to talk about everything.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We're not wearing that.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Goody, goody, good lady, good morning week.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That's big, god damn good morning. UFC President Dana White
says they will hold a fight card at the White
House on the two hundred and fiftieth birthday of our
(01:40):
great nation July fourth, twenty twenty six, telling CBS it's
definitely going to happen and he believes it will be
shown on CBS. UFC just signed a seven point seven
billion dollars deal with Paramount.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
And speaking of big and destination watches, there is talk
of a July fourth go ahead fight America's two hundred
and fiftieth birthday. Next summer, We're we're at the White
House a pretty big venue.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Is that gonna happen? Daniel? What can you tell us?
It is definitely going to happen.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
I talked to him last night, him being the president,
and I'm flying out there at the end of this
month and I'm gonna sit down and walk him through,
you know, all the plans and the renderings, and we're
going to start deciding what he wants and doesn't want.
But yeah, it's definitely going to happen. Well, think about
this when you were just asking me, you know, at
the beginning, how I felt about you know, where we
(02:40):
are today, July fourth, two hundred and fiftieth birthday of
the United States of America, live on CBS from the
White House.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So wow, I like the live on CBS anytime you
can say that. But were it on the street? Was
that Ivanka Trump was involved in this? Is that true?
Getting Yeah?
Speaker 5 (02:59):
So when he when he what he called, yeah, when
he called me and asked me, uh to do it,
he said, uh, I want Ivanka in the middle of this.
So Ivanka reached out to me and her and I started,
uh talking about the possibilities where it would be, and
you know, I put together all the renderings. I'm flying
(03:20):
out there at the end of the month and going
to sit down with those two and start figuring it out.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Do we know who's fighting?
Speaker 5 (03:28):
No, it's it's still almost a year away, and you
know the landscape will change several months.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
So yeah, okay, we'll be ready, be ready for you.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
Everybody wants to be on this card.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
You know who he ought to have there. You know
who he ought to have fighting, Chattaconi Knakanishi. That's what
I'm talking about. I've never seen chat Mike, but he's
hauliflower like you wouldn't believe, you know the old joke. Yeah,
(04:08):
but you ought to see the other guy. You imagine
Chad at the White House. Oh, how loud we everybody
was fighting. How loud we we be? Cheerful? Chad goose
Chad though it be that classic movie scene in the
world over there, run first run, Let me Chatt. He
(04:39):
is more of a grappler. But can I just tell
my story? I thought I was a little time. I like,
in my mind, in my mind, my story, he's like, uh,
Ralph Mantio is karate kid and he's doing the praying mantis.
Remember that blonde dude, That poor guy, he always gets
cast as the bad guy and he comes running at
him and you know, Chad's got the one leg up
and one down, it's injured. And the dude comes in
(05:02):
close and he does that, you know, he goes down
on one up on it. So and then on the
screen you see Pean pal Child by Dean Dow and
there's Chad and then you an hour over to the
side and the music starts playing. What is the what
is the music that plays with rock when Rocky wins?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, yeah, And then there's a picture of you and
me because we have to be in this, and we're
over to the side and we're you know, before the fight,
we're worried. And then he wins. Remember when they rush
the stage and he's won. What if it is a song?
(05:46):
And then there's us and we're gotting a lot of
airtime out of there, and we raise our heads up. Yeah,
and then we go running into the ring because you
know that's where the camera's gonna be. You remember what
song plays when you remember there's that moment, the victory moment,
and the song plays, God, okay, well do you remember
(06:24):
I don't think this is it?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I remember, oh this can't be Yes, Oh that's it.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
This is going in the distance. Yes, yes, yes, this
is where Yeah, this is that moment when they run
out into the mean. You can't you can't keep it,
can't keep it together. At this point, he's one. You
can't help it. You just finished your bluebell. That'll be
(07:04):
Chad for a fowl. You want a Polo Creed fought
Pulk Hogan? What did Apollo Creed that fought Hulker? Who
fought the Hulk? Oh? Rocky did? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you're right. Who would Who would you want Chad to fight?
(07:28):
I stink maybe Fetterman? Yeah, I don't want to fight close.
I like FETI. Fetterman comes out in a hoodie with
his shorts and his little string being legs. But he's
like six eight or something. Big boy form. Have you
(07:48):
have you ever heard of an upper decker? Well, apparently
our marines will know what this is called. I have
a story to end all stories. I had a buddy
tell me a story. I asked how things were going.
He'd been through a really nasty breakup, divorce, the whole thing,
and and he has a thing for crazy women. And
(08:14):
you think me, you think you know what crazy women do?
This is a story. This is a story. I'll buckle
up the Michael Berry Show. If you've ever had a
house's peering beam or blocking base, there's a cross base
(08:36):
under the house. Oftentimes there is a skirt around your house,
so you don't see under there. It's just more attractive.
They'll put them on trailers that put them on houses
that are elevated. If you're on a slab, then you
wouldn't have noticed this. The good news about a house
being elevated on peering beam is that if you can
(08:59):
get somebody up under there, you do work on the house,
whereas a slab you're sort of idle up. And that's
usually where you send in a little bit of tiny
Mexican because you know, you and I can't fit through
the regular hole and get up under there, so you
put a little Mexican up under there. Now, just because
(09:20):
somebody's a Mexican doesn't mean they have to be illegal.
So one of the things lost in all this that
I'm hearing is that legal Mexicans are commanding higher wages
because there's fewer of them supply and demand. The demand
did not decrease, it remained static, but the supply decrease,
(09:40):
and we know on our chart that that means the
prices increase. Cabbage patch dolls all of a sudden became
far more valuable when there are a few fewer of
them that one Christmas. So that little be Mexican fellow.
You got to have certain people to do certain things. Well,
you got to have marines to fight wars. You got
(10:01):
to have crazy people, right, You have to have people
who are self denying of themselves and their safety and
their sanity, and who will be willing to run at
the bullets. You got to have crazy people. Well, the
problem with the military when they started putting women in
there for the soul's sake of saying we have women,
(10:22):
is those are not creatures. The people that they put
there who are eager to go to war. You want
to have the right people, as Jim Collins wrote in
Good Great, the right people on the bus, in the
right seat on the bus. So, my buddy is a
marine and everything that that means, right, He's one of
these guys that defines himself by being a marine. He's
(10:43):
one of these guys that when we had the RCC,
you were happy he was there, but you also after
giving him a big hug and being happy he's there.
You remember, oh wait a second, last time he was here,
I think he fought eight people passed out drunk, smashed
the door and you ooh, oh, this is Anybody that
knows a real marine knows that personality. The Marines go
(11:05):
looking for it. And these people go to the Marines
because this is this is that's where they belong. It's
all right, So bear in mind, my buddy is marine.
My buddy goes through a very nasty divorce. There are
kids involved. Uh there's a I'm not going to say
which department. It's not HPDA, but it was a local
(11:26):
police department officer who was banging his wife. And you know,
so he drives over. He's got the kids in the
back seat, so he's he's been through a lot, and
so he starts dating after that. If you know this personality,
this type of personality, you know these guys are. They're
(11:49):
they're hard charging, hard of gold to do anything in
the world for you. But they make terrible decisions and
that's kind of part of what makes them interesting, right,
They're always there's always going to he's something screwed up.
So no, I'm not telling his name. You know, you
don't know, you never man. So my buddy starts dating
this girl. And certain guys are attracted to women and
(12:15):
they don't realize it. They're attracted to women who are
not going to be good for them. I say that, right,
And a lot of times that's Hispanic girls that are
very jealous and crazy but cute and you know, freaking
the sheet sort of thing, and they love that, and
so it's very volatile and that adds to the excitement.
She said, Osa, he's crazy there, you know, and they
(12:37):
even make Joe, you know, we're both crazy, you know,
but they're we're in a cabine at the beach for
the weekend, and you know, thirty days later, she's pregnant.
I mean, you know the type. Okay, So he's he's
out of a bad marriage, as two kids, working like
crazy and trying to keep it all together. He starts
dating this girl and he's crazy and she's crazy, and
(13:02):
he decides, you know what this is, this is not working.
She's crazy. I'm going to break up with her now.
This is one of those relationships that involves GPS trackers
and phones being checked and private investigators at I mean
it's just it's nutty.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Well, he is at work and she goes to his
house and he's got a doggie door because he's got
he's got dogs, and she uses the dogie door to
access the house. Now you know, when I tell you that,
(13:44):
you go, well, that's kind of weird, and you or
maybe you had an act who did that. She went
in the dog Just imagine, you know, I always forced
myself to see something in my mind's eye and then
it becomes far more ridiculous. So just to imagine you're
the Diosex mocking of this story. You're you're watching from above.
(14:05):
You got a cross section view. The roof has been
removed on the house, and you're looking down and here
is this woman. She's gone around the house, she's peeked
in the windows, and here she is crawling through the
doggy door. First of all, the doggy door smells like ass.
We know that, right, it's filthy, and there she is.
(14:25):
Just imagine watching her crawl through the doggy door. Okay,
then she's inside the house. She now has to pick
herself up and dust her stuff. She has come through
the doggy door. She is at a moment right now,
you don't later want to have to defend in court. Okay,
that's you know, but just go ahead and bawl the kids, rabbits,
your nuts, Glen close. So here we are. She is
(14:47):
in the house. That's not going to be the craziest
thing she does on this day. She ransacks the house.
She goes through everything in his house. She basically she's
if he wasn't sure she was crazy, he's going to
She's going to make certain that by the time he leaves,
(15:08):
she knows. Sorry, by the time she leaves, he knows
she's crazy. Have you ever heard determined upper decker? I
hadn't eaten, but everybody's about to know what an upper decker? Yeah,
stay tuned the Michael Berries. The first time I ever
(15:33):
heard anybody cover this song was pre RCC. My wife
is going to get Crockett. She's gone for six weeks
and it's just me and Michael t at the house
and I'm having parties every night. When my wife came home,
(16:00):
he told my wife Dad at a party every night,
I couldn't sleep. Charlie Hager's there and it's kind of
a there's a lot of there's several musicians there and
then I would just call on guys randomly, and they're
on the couches and a lot of people piled in there,
and it's a heck of a time and it's getting late.
(16:22):
I call on Charlie to do a number and he
breaks into this first time I've ever heard anybody, first
time I'd ever heard anybody cover that song, and that
became one of his throwdown songs. I would always ask
him to do. I did not know that. So Charlie
Hager's at the Armdilla Palace this Friday night or Captain
Legendary Band this Friday night. Oh, you're going to see him? Well,
(16:45):
that'll be nice. How'd you know they texted you? Oh
it must be nice if they reached out to you
and asked you to come. Okay, all right, So anyway,
guy sent me an email Bobby Crumpley during the break
and he said, this is why you don't crawl under
the crawl spaces under the house. Well, first of all,
(17:05):
I don't because I'm American. I don't want to get
under the crass space of a house. Secondly, there were
forty five rattlesnakes in Albany, Texas, and this guy goes
in there and pulls them out. You know those guys
like that, that's a different breed man. I hold my
man who had cheap compared to fellas like that. He
gets up under there and he's pulling those snakes out,
and the snakes are striking at him, and he's going, yeah,
(17:27):
this one's a mean one right here. Anyway, So my
buddy's gone through a bad breakup wherein his wife has
had an affair with a law enforcement officer. He goes
over to the house where they're having an affair, calls
the popo over and says, y'all better go over here.
I'm gonna go in there and kill him. I got
my kids out in the car. Of course, she's got
(17:48):
to go to a work meeting, so he needs her
to take the kids so he can go to the
work meeting. Oh, by the way, that I mentioned they
were married five minutes ago and she's laid up with
the law enforcement officer. It's just not a good picture,
and she ends up getting pregnant by the law enforcements.
But that's a different story, all right. So that's a
whole different that's his headspace at this point. So he
(18:09):
starts dating miss Crazy because he likes crazy. I should
tell you that all there's a lot of these stories.
We could go on for a while. I'm not going to.
But they're all very attractive ladies. Don't get me on
if you like the bolted on. Look, that's his thing.
And they're all nuts and they might have all been strippers.
We don't know. He doesn't ever ask because he doesn't
(18:30):
want to know. But they're nuts and he's nuts. But
he's my friend. And so he's at work. Kids are
at his mother's house because remember he's gone through a
divorce and when the man gets prime custody over young kids,
(18:50):
and it's a female judge that ought to tell you
how crazy his excess. Yeah, the whole story, all right.
So he's at work and all of a sudden, his
ring camera goes off to ding and there's old Maria
I don't know her name is. She's come through the
(19:11):
doggy door that right there. When he tells this story,
I'm thinking, oh, she's crazy. He said, we're not even
getting started yet. Oh okay, all right, So she's already
put GPS trackers because you know hispanics are they're jealous.
Blacks and whites are not jealous like his hispanics are jealous.
(19:34):
So she crawls through the crossbe I mean the doggy door.
I had asked him which breed. Apparently got big dogs,
so it wasn't a chihuahua. You know, she's little, but
she ain't that little. So she's in the house. She
gets up and all I'm thinking is if I had
watched somebody coming through the like that made sense to
(19:55):
you at that moment, all right, So she gets up,
she ransacks the house, throws everything everywhere. She he's a marine.
She takes the uh you know that stick them that
Leicester the molester Hayes stick them that you have for
rats and roaches. She takes one of those with a
gum on those things that's a that's a pegamento like
(20:19):
you ain't ever seen. She takes that and smears it
on his dress blue Marines uniform. Well, being a marine
is the highlight of this guy's life. I mean, you
have she is defiling everything that is decent in this
man's life. But then she does something well I don't
know what order, We don't know what or because they
(20:40):
have cameras upstairs, she goes into his restroom and she
delivers what apparently is known as an upper decker. I
did not know what a nupper decker was, but I
do now, and so will you. Apparently this is a
well known fact. I looked it up on the Urban
Dictionary and it is and does in fact have its
(21:01):
own entry along with the word that's credited to me
and unrelated. So I don't know if she needed to poop.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Or she.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
My mother used to do prune Jude. I don't know
if there was malice a forethought, or if this just
happened on the spot. Maybe in the middle of ransacking
his house, she thought to herself, I need to move
my bowels. At some point I shall go into his
restroom and have a movement, and then she comes with
(21:42):
the idea, or if she went over there and all
of this was one big scheme, because I just don't
know where on earth you get the idea to do
what she's about to do. I never even I have
never understood.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
We have done over the years. Tell me about the
time you quit your job and your Johnny paycheck, take
this job and shove it. And I am always shocked
how often pooping on stuff before you leave is part
of the deal. I watched this and watched this show
(22:26):
called I Survived a few years ago, and see's two
guys and they are out and they're out in Alaska
and they fly the little plane themselves and they crash
it coming in. So they're stuck out there and they're
surveyors and they're out surveying, and here comes this bear.
And these are bad bears. These are not your Colorado bears.
These are Alaska. But these things will attack you. And
(22:48):
the one guy starts crawling up the tree, which is
a great idea to you. See a bear crawl a tree,
climb a tree. They run up the tree and the
dude rips his buddy's scalp off. And then once he's
got him good and dead, he stands above him and
takes a big old poop. And the guy said it
was like he was dropping a brick on me. Beca
(23:10):
is a bear, you know, a bear scat is very thick.
All right, Well, this woman is not a bear, but
apparently she'd had refried bean's for practice, whereupon she delivers
what is known as an up protecting long now an
unprotect them must be right, you're listening to Michael me
(23:30):
think people don't understand when they go, oh, you know,
they sent in the Marines and everybody. You know, as Americans,
we get proud ash and in the Mariens Marines will
kick their ass. You don't understand. Those guys are crazy,
like genuinely crazy. I mean, Marcus the Trail's crazy. He's
(23:54):
a seal, not a marine, but they work closely together.
Those guys are nuts, completely nuts. And then you add
in alcohol, jealousy or anything like this. But this story
is not about my friend being crazy saving except for
the fact that he dates and marries women that are crazy. Well,
(24:15):
we're on the second one and she is. She's nuts.
She's the rebound girl. But when I say she's the
rebound girl, she's like Dennis Rodman rebound, you know what
I mean. She'll serve the purpose of the rebound. But
there's gonna be some crazy getting married in address. You know,
you're trying to be in the finals, and she's off
(24:36):
in Vegas, you know, painted up anyway, So here we are.
She has crawled through the doggie door and she steals
his dog. Now, to put this into perspective, my buddy
wears Hawaiian shirts. You can have these shirts made. I
(24:59):
had one made with my wife on it because it
was funny. He wears Hawaiian shirts with pictures of his
dog on the Hawaiian shirt. Yeah, he loves his dog.
So this isn't you know, this isn't as pet hamster
as goldfish. This is boiling the rabbit, Glenn close. Fatal
(25:19):
attraction kind of stuff. Was that fatal traction? What was that? Called?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
All right? So she steals his dog. But after stealing
his dog, I think she thought to herself, Wow, you know,
stealing his dog, that'll mess him up mentally. But and
this is where this is where she thinks hard. I've
stolen his dog, I've destroyed his dress blues. I've ransacked
(25:45):
his house. I have broken into his house. She's done
a number of things to this man, all in one visit.
And then and again I think of the stupidest stuff.
I can't help but think did she need to poop
(26:06):
before she went over? And it's like, well, I don't
have you know, remember, old girl put the diaper on.
She's going to Florida. Nobody cared that she was going
there to kill that woman that was never taught. She
was driving that far to kill, kill her, to kill
her rival. Nobody thought about that. All we cared about
was she could not be bothered to stop on the
(26:30):
way to kill this woman for ten minutes and get
one of those hot dogs at the convenience store and
a diet coke and maybe you know who who or whatever. No, no, no,
she needed to get there fast and she could not
have to stop. So she bought Dion Sanders depends and
(26:51):
she strapped that thing on so she could just drive.
Can you imagine round about baton Rouge six'? Ten? Ten
was it? Sixty wasn't? TEN i? Ten what's the what's the? Split?
There just past our station right, there and she's, THINKING
i need To oh, NO i got my. Diaper let it,
go all? Right so this crazy, woman she's done all
these things at his, house she goes into his restroom
(27:16):
and delivers WHAT i now. Know And i'm getting emails
from buddies of mind that are military, veterans and, yes
this is a very well known, act the upper. Decker
and let me tell your mom what the upper decker.
Is you've been into a baseball, right so imagine you're
(27:37):
you're Not Buck, sexton y'all can Tell BUCK i said
that he'd never been to a pro, game to a sporting.
EVENT i don't think Until clay took. It that's that's.
Buck you got to no buck to understand. It so
at the GAME i remember on seven ninety years, ago
they were. MAD i don't know if it Was adam
and and uh uh what Is Wexer's? Adam adam And?
(27:58):
ADAM i don't know if it was Who. Adams it
might have Been Matt. THOMAS i don't know if they
know they have the same. Name somebody programming didn't realize
you can't put THE sat this guy's with the same
name on there because somebody calls a, Hey. Adam. WAIT
i think it might have Been Matt. Thomas you know
sports freaks on the sports. Stations they get upset that
no city Is philadelphia other Than, philadelphia, Right philadelphia fans are?
(28:22):
Crazy how come y'all are crazy like? That so nobody's
in the Lower bowl until you, know, halftime because the
kind of people who can afford the seats down there
don't get there early with their, kid buy them a
jersey and watch the warm. Ups they rusty, Heartened they
come strolling in whenever they want to come strolling. In
that's what rich people. Do that's like, SAYING i don't
(28:45):
know why he's got why he gets to have a
roles once he doesn't even drive it every. Day well
he's got it. Anyway so that's the lower, bowl you,
know down down, Front, okay or at a baseball, game
you know the lower dagne as an end get, inspirity
sweets and all. That, well then you've got the, tank,
(29:07):
right remember the tank that in Uh Godfather part. Two
that's where they hide the. Gun that's uh cops tell
me that's one of the spots where people hide. Stuff
although it's kind of became a sort of pass the
cliche to put to hide stuff in the toilet bowl
because now they're gonna, well you don't want to check
in this, case she does not the way THE i don't.
(29:29):
Know i'm sure you know, this but the way a
toilet is set up is you've got a lower, bowl
or we'll call that the lower deck here and then
and and you can you can stand up and, pee
or you can sit, down turn the opposite, way drop a,
deuce drop the kids off at the. Pool and then
in time they put a nice little padding in. There
(29:50):
you lift it and you drop, it and that became
you know what men would fight about and all. That,
Uh but then there is the mechanism behind. There unless
you're a, plumber likelihood you don't get into that area very. Off,
well this girl is not a, plumber but she did
end up in that. Area she takes the top of
the bowl off and places it. Somewhere we don't. Know
(30:11):
that part of the story is. Missing it's not that.
Important she proceeds to take a massive dump in that,
bowl the upper, bowl upper. Deck now you got to
think about, how aside from the fact that you are,
(30:31):
disgusting this is how much you love this guy you
do This aside from, that imagine how she's got to
contort herself to get her booty hanging over the side
to get this thing done. Right? Yeah, Yeah and so
all this, thought you, know did you plan this ahead
of time or are you middle of ransay and you
got a? Poop you're, like, AH i gotta. Poop this
(30:53):
is an. Opportunity she drops the deuce in, there she
puts the bowl back on, top so you won't. Know,
now the way this works IS i didn't realize think about.
It that's the water coming down in. There so when
you pee and you go to flush the, toilet there's
old Girl maria's who coming in. There so until that's. Gone,
(31:14):
well at the end of this, story there's a group
of us he's telling a story to and he, said she's.
Toxic you think you think your whole water supply is now.
Contaminated she's very. Toxic well you would, think oh, Boy,
no he never saw her. Again he had her. Arrested
(31:37):
they had sex that night after he bailed her. Out
It's that time, time time, luck and load. The Michael
Berry Show is on the air. Good morning, Michaelberry, yield morning,
Michael Berry. Good morning, Michael, Good morning, Michael, good morning, Sar,
(00:27):
Good morning, Michael, Zay Sailor, Good morning, Elsina, Good morning, Michael. Hello, Hello,
are you there? Good morning you, Michaelberry. How you learned that?
Are ready tomorrow?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Money?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Good mornexcess.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Listen to.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Good morning, Texas.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Morning, your car, good.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Morning Texas onesday. We're happy to talk about everything.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We're not wearing that.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Goody, goody, good lady, good morning week.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That's big, god damn good morning. UFC President Dana White
says they will hold a fight card at the White
House on the two hundred and fiftieth birthday of our
(01:40):
great nation July fourth, twenty twenty six, telling CBS it's
definitely going to happen and he believes it will be
shown on CBS. UFC just signed a seven point seven
billion dollars deal with Paramount.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
And speaking of big and destination watches, there is talk
of a July fourth go ahead fight America's two hundred
and fiftieth birthday. Next summer, We're we're at the White
House a pretty big venue.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Is that gonna happen? Daniel? What can you tell us?
It is definitely going to happen.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
I talked to him last night, him being the president,
and I'm flying out there at the end of this
month and I'm gonna sit down and walk him through,
you know, all the plans and the renderings, and we're
going to start deciding what he wants and doesn't want.
But yeah, it's definitely going to happen. Well, think about
this when you were just asking me, you know, at
the beginning, how I felt about you know, where we
(02:40):
are today, July fourth, two hundred and fiftieth birthday of
the United States of America, live on CBS from the
White House.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
So wow, I like the live on CBS anytime you
can say that. But were it on the street? Was
that Ivanka Trump was involved in this? Is that true?
Getting Yeah?
Speaker 5 (02:59):
So when he when he what he called, yeah, when
he called me and asked me, uh to do it,
he said, uh, I want Ivanka in the middle of this.
So Ivanka reached out to me and her and I started,
uh talking about the possibilities where it would be, and
you know, I put together all the renderings. I'm flying
(03:20):
out there at the end of the month and going
to sit down with those two and start figuring it out.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Do we know who's fighting?
Speaker 5 (03:28):
No, it's it's still almost a year away, and you
know the landscape will change several months.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
So yeah, okay, we'll be ready, be ready for you.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
Everybody wants to be on this card.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
You know who he ought to have there. You know
who he ought to have fighting, Chattaconi Knakanishi. That's what
I'm talking about. I've never seen chat Mike, but he's
hauliflower like you wouldn't believe, you know the old joke. Yeah,
(04:08):
but you ought to see the other guy. You imagine
Chad at the White House. Oh, how loud we everybody
was fighting. How loud we we be? Cheerful? Chad goose
Chad though it be that classic movie scene in the
world over there, run first run, Let me Chatt. He
(04:39):
is more of a grappler. But can I just tell
my story? I thought I was a little time. I like,
in my mind, in my mind, my story, he's like, uh,
Ralph Mantio is karate kid and he's doing the praying mantis.
Remember that blonde dude, That poor guy, he always gets
cast as the bad guy and he comes running at
him and you know, Chad's got the one leg up
and one down, it's injured. And the dude comes in
(05:02):
close and he does that, you know, he goes down
on one up on it. So and then on the
screen you see Pean pal Child by Dean Dow and
there's Chad and then you an hour over to the
side and the music starts playing. What is the what
is the music that plays with rock when Rocky wins?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, yeah, And then there's a picture of you and
me because we have to be in this, and we're
over to the side and we're you know, before the fight,
we're worried. And then he wins. Remember when they rush
the stage and he's won. What if it is a song?
(05:46):
And then there's us and we're gotting a lot of
airtime out of there, and we raise our heads up. Yeah,
and then we go running into the ring because you
know that's where the camera's gonna be. You remember what
song plays when you remember there's that moment, the victory moment,
and the song plays, God, okay, well do you remember
(06:24):
I don't think this is it?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I remember, oh this can't be Yes, Oh that's it.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
This is going in the distance. Yes, yes, yes, this
is where Yeah, this is that moment when they run
out into the mean. You can't you can't keep it,
can't keep it together. At this point, he's one. You
can't help it. You just finished your bluebell. That'll be
(07:04):
Chad for a fowl. You want a Polo Creed fought
Pulk Hogan? What did Apollo Creed that fought Hulker? Who
fought the Hulk? Oh? Rocky did? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you're right. Who would Who would you want Chad to fight?
(07:28):
I stink maybe Fetterman? Yeah, I don't want to fight close.
I like FETI. Fetterman comes out in a hoodie with
his shorts and his little string being legs. But he's
like six eight or something. Big boy form. Have you
(07:48):
have you ever heard of an upper decker? Well, apparently
our marines will know what this is called. I have
a story to end all stories. I had a buddy
tell me a story. I asked how things were going.
He'd been through a really nasty breakup, divorce, the whole thing,
and and he has a thing for crazy women. And
(08:14):
you think me, you think you know what crazy women do?
This is a story. This is a story. I'll buckle
up the Michael Berry Show. If you've ever had a
house's peering beam or blocking base, there's a cross base
(08:36):
under the house. Oftentimes there is a skirt around your house,
so you don't see under there. It's just more attractive.
They'll put them on trailers that put them on houses
that are elevated. If you're on a slab, then you
wouldn't have noticed this. The good news about a house
being elevated on peering beam is that if you can
(08:59):
get somebody up under there, you do work on the house,
whereas a slab you're sort of idle up. And that's
usually where you send in a little bit of tiny
Mexican because you know, you and I can't fit through
the regular hole and get up under there, so you
put a little Mexican up under there. Now, just because
(09:20):
somebody's a Mexican doesn't mean they have to be illegal.
So one of the things lost in all this that
I'm hearing is that legal Mexicans are commanding higher wages
because there's fewer of them supply and demand. The demand
did not decrease, it remained static, but the supply decrease,
(09:40):
and we know on our chart that that means the
prices increase. Cabbage patch dolls all of a sudden became
far more valuable when there are a few fewer of
them that one Christmas. So that little be Mexican fellow.
You got to have certain people to do certain things. Well,
you got to have marines to fight wars. You got
(10:01):
to have crazy people, right, You have to have people
who are self denying of themselves and their safety and
their sanity, and who will be willing to run at
the bullets. You got to have crazy people. Well, the
problem with the military when they started putting women in
there for the soul's sake of saying we have women,
(10:22):
is those are not creatures. The people that they put
there who are eager to go to war. You want
to have the right people, as Jim Collins wrote in
Good Great, the right people on the bus, in the
right seat on the bus. So, my buddy is a
marine and everything that that means, right, He's one of
these guys that defines himself by being a marine. He's
(10:43):
one of these guys that when we had the RCC,
you were happy he was there, but you also after
giving him a big hug and being happy he's there.
You remember, oh wait a second, last time he was here,
I think he fought eight people passed out drunk, smashed
the door and you ooh, oh, this is Anybody that
knows a real marine knows that personality. The Marines go
(11:05):
looking for it. And these people go to the Marines
because this is this is that's where they belong. It's
all right, So bear in mind, my buddy is marine.
My buddy goes through a very nasty divorce. There are
kids involved. Uh there's a I'm not going to say
which department. It's not HPDA, but it was a local
(11:26):
police department officer who was banging his wife. And you know,
so he drives over. He's got the kids in the
back seat, so he's he's been through a lot, and
so he starts dating after that. If you know this personality,
this type of personality, you know these guys are. They're
(11:49):
they're hard charging, hard of gold to do anything in
the world for you. But they make terrible decisions and
that's kind of part of what makes them interesting, right,
They're always there's always going to he's something screwed up.
So no, I'm not telling his name. You know, you
don't know, you never man. So my buddy starts dating
this girl. And certain guys are attracted to women and
(12:15):
they don't realize it. They're attracted to women who are
not going to be good for them. I say that, right,
And a lot of times that's Hispanic girls that are
very jealous and crazy but cute and you know, freaking
the sheet sort of thing, and they love that, and
so it's very volatile and that adds to the excitement.
She said, Osa, he's crazy there, you know, and they
(12:37):
even make Joe, you know, we're both crazy, you know,
but they're we're in a cabine at the beach for
the weekend, and you know, thirty days later, she's pregnant.
I mean, you know the type. Okay, So he's he's
out of a bad marriage, as two kids, working like
crazy and trying to keep it all together. He starts
dating this girl and he's crazy and she's crazy, and
(13:02):
he decides, you know what this is, this is not working.
She's crazy. I'm going to break up with her now.
This is one of those relationships that involves GPS trackers
and phones being checked and private investigators at I mean
it's just it's nutty.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Well, he is at work and she goes to his
house and he's got a doggie door because he's got
he's got dogs, and she uses the dogie door to
access the house. Now you know, when I tell you that,
(13:44):
you go, well, that's kind of weird, and you or
maybe you had an act who did that. She went
in the dog Just imagine, you know, I always forced
myself to see something in my mind's eye and then
it becomes far more ridiculous. So just to imagine you're
the Diosex mocking of this story. You're you're watching from above.
(14:05):
You got a cross section view. The roof has been
removed on the house, and you're looking down and here
is this woman. She's gone around the house, she's peeked
in the windows, and here she is crawling through the
doggy door. First of all, the doggy door smells like ass.
We know that, right, it's filthy, and there she is.
(14:25):
Just imagine watching her crawl through the doggy door. Okay,
then she's inside the house. She now has to pick
herself up and dust her stuff. She has come through
the doggy door. She is at a moment right now,
you don't later want to have to defend in court. Okay,
that's you know, but just go ahead and bawl the kids, rabbits,
your nuts, Glen close. So here we are. She is
(14:47):
in the house. That's not going to be the craziest
thing she does on this day. She ransacks the house.
She goes through everything in his house. She basically she's
if he wasn't sure she was crazy, he's going to
She's going to make certain that by the time he leaves,
(15:08):
she knows. Sorry, by the time she leaves, he knows
she's crazy. Have you ever heard determined upper decker? I
hadn't eaten, but everybody's about to know what an upper decker? Yeah,
stay tuned the Michael Berries. The first time I ever
(15:33):
heard anybody cover this song was pre RCC. My wife
is going to get Crockett. She's gone for six weeks
and it's just me and Michael t at the house
and I'm having parties every night. When my wife came home,
(16:00):
he told my wife Dad at a party every night,
I couldn't sleep. Charlie Hager's there and it's kind of
a there's a lot of there's several musicians there and
then I would just call on guys randomly, and they're
on the couches and a lot of people piled in there,
and it's a heck of a time and it's getting late.
(16:22):
I call on Charlie to do a number and he
breaks into this first time I've ever heard anybody, first
time I'd ever heard anybody cover that song, and that
became one of his throwdown songs. I would always ask
him to do. I did not know that. So Charlie
Hager's at the Armdilla Palace this Friday night or Captain
Legendary Band this Friday night. Oh, you're going to see him? Well,
(16:45):
that'll be nice. How'd you know they texted you? Oh
it must be nice if they reached out to you
and asked you to come. Okay, all right, So anyway,
guy sent me an email Bobby Crumpley during the break
and he said, this is why you don't crawl under
the crawl spaces under the house. Well, first of all,
(17:05):
I don't because I'm American. I don't want to get
under the crass space of a house. Secondly, there were
forty five rattlesnakes in Albany, Texas, and this guy goes
in there and pulls them out. You know those guys
like that, that's a different breed man. I hold my
man who had cheap compared to fellas like that. He
gets up under there and he's pulling those snakes out,
and the snakes are striking at him, and he's going, yeah,
(17:27):
this one's a mean one right here. Anyway, So my
buddy's gone through a bad breakup wherein his wife has
had an affair with a law enforcement officer. He goes
over to the house where they're having an affair, calls
the popo over and says, y'all better go over here.
I'm gonna go in there and kill him. I got
my kids out in the car. Of course, she's got
(17:48):
to go to a work meeting, so he needs her
to take the kids so he can go to the
work meeting. Oh, by the way, that I mentioned they
were married five minutes ago and she's laid up with
the law enforcement officer. It's just not a good picture,
and she ends up getting pregnant by the law enforcements.
But that's a different story, all right. So that's a
whole different that's his headspace at this point. So he
(18:09):
starts dating miss Crazy because he likes crazy. I should
tell you that all there's a lot of these stories.
We could go on for a while. I'm not going to.
But they're all very attractive ladies. Don't get me on
if you like the bolted on. Look, that's his thing.
And they're all nuts and they might have all been strippers.
We don't know. He doesn't ever ask because he doesn't
(18:30):
want to know. But they're nuts and he's nuts. But
he's my friend. And so he's at work. Kids are
at his mother's house because remember he's gone through a
divorce and when the man gets prime custody over young kids,
(18:50):
and it's a female judge that ought to tell you
how crazy his excess. Yeah, the whole story, all right.
So he's at work and all of a sudden, his
ring camera goes off to ding and there's old Maria
I don't know her name is. She's come through the
(19:11):
doggy door that right there. When he tells this story,
I'm thinking, oh, she's crazy. He said, we're not even
getting started yet. Oh okay, all right, So she's already
put GPS trackers because you know hispanics are they're jealous.
Blacks and whites are not jealous like his hispanics are jealous.
(19:34):
So she crawls through the crossbe I mean the doggy door.
I had asked him which breed. Apparently got big dogs,
so it wasn't a chihuahua. You know, she's little, but
she ain't that little. So she's in the house. She
gets up and all I'm thinking is if I had
watched somebody coming through the like that made sense to
(19:55):
you at that moment, all right, So she gets up,
she ransacks the house, throws everything everywhere. She he's a marine.
She takes the uh you know that stick them that
Leicester the molester Hayes stick them that you have for
rats and roaches. She takes one of those with a
gum on those things that's a that's a pegamento like
(20:19):
you ain't ever seen. She takes that and smears it
on his dress blue Marines uniform. Well, being a marine
is the highlight of this guy's life. I mean, you
have she is defiling everything that is decent in this
man's life. But then she does something well I don't
know what order, We don't know what or because they
(20:40):
have cameras upstairs, she goes into his restroom and she
delivers what apparently is known as an upper decker. I
did not know what a nupper decker was, but I
do now, and so will you. Apparently this is a
well known fact. I looked it up on the Urban
Dictionary and it is and does in fact have its
(21:01):
own entry along with the word that's credited to me
and unrelated. So I don't know if she needed to poop.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Or she.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
My mother used to do prune Jude. I don't know
if there was malice a forethought, or if this just
happened on the spot. Maybe in the middle of ransacking
his house, she thought to herself, I need to move
my bowels. At some point I shall go into his
restroom and have a movement, and then she comes with
(21:42):
the idea, or if she went over there and all
of this was one big scheme, because I just don't
know where on earth you get the idea to do
what she's about to do. I never even I have
never understood.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
We have done over the years. Tell me about the
time you quit your job and your Johnny paycheck, take
this job and shove it. And I am always shocked
how often pooping on stuff before you leave is part
of the deal. I watched this and watched this show
(22:26):
called I Survived a few years ago, and see's two
guys and they are out and they're out in Alaska
and they fly the little plane themselves and they crash
it coming in. So they're stuck out there and they're
surveyors and they're out surveying, and here comes this bear.
And these are bad bears. These are not your Colorado bears.
These are Alaska. But these things will attack you. And
(22:48):
the one guy starts crawling up the tree, which is
a great idea to you. See a bear crawl a tree,
climb a tree. They run up the tree and the
dude rips his buddy's scalp off. And then once he's
got him good and dead, he stands above him and
takes a big old poop. And the guy said it
was like he was dropping a brick on me. Beca
(23:10):
is a bear, you know, a bear scat is very thick.
All right, Well, this woman is not a bear, but
apparently she'd had refried bean's for practice, whereupon she delivers
what is known as an up protecting long now an
unprotect them must be right, you're listening to Michael me
(23:30):
think people don't understand when they go, oh, you know,
they sent in the Marines and everybody. You know, as Americans,
we get proud ash and in the Mariens Marines will
kick their ass. You don't understand. Those guys are crazy,
like genuinely crazy. I mean, Marcus the Trail's crazy. He's
(23:54):
a seal, not a marine, but they work closely together.
Those guys are nuts, completely nuts. And then you add
in alcohol, jealousy or anything like this. But this story
is not about my friend being crazy saving except for
the fact that he dates and marries women that are crazy. Well,
(24:15):
we're on the second one and she is. She's nuts.
She's the rebound girl. But when I say she's the
rebound girl, she's like Dennis Rodman rebound, you know what
I mean. She'll serve the purpose of the rebound. But
there's gonna be some crazy getting married in address. You know,
you're trying to be in the finals, and she's off
(24:36):
in Vegas, you know, painted up anyway, So here we are.
She has crawled through the doggie door and she steals
his dog. Now, to put this into perspective, my buddy
wears Hawaiian shirts. You can have these shirts made. I
(24:59):
had one made with my wife on it because it
was funny. He wears Hawaiian shirts with pictures of his
dog on the Hawaiian shirt. Yeah, he loves his dog.
So this isn't you know, this isn't as pet hamster
as goldfish. This is boiling the rabbit, Glenn close. Fatal
(25:19):
attraction kind of stuff. Was that fatal traction? What was that? Called?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
All right? So she steals his dog. But after stealing
his dog, I think she thought to herself, Wow, you know,
stealing his dog, that'll mess him up mentally. But and
this is where this is where she thinks hard. I've
stolen his dog, I've destroyed his dress blues. I've ransacked
(25:45):
his house. I have broken into his house. She's done
a number of things to this man, all in one visit.
And then and again I think of the stupidest stuff.
I can't help but think did she need to poop
(26:06):
before she went over? And it's like, well, I don't
have you know, remember, old girl put the diaper on.
She's going to Florida. Nobody cared that she was going
there to kill that woman that was never taught. She
was driving that far to kill, kill her, to kill
her rival. Nobody thought about that. All we cared about
was she could not be bothered to stop on the
(26:30):
way to kill this woman for ten minutes and get
one of those hot dogs at the convenience store and
a diet coke and maybe you know who who or whatever. No, no, no,
she needed to get there fast and she could not
have to stop. So she bought Dion Sanders depends and
(26:51):
she strapped that thing on so she could just drive.
Can you imagine round about baton Rouge six'? Ten? Ten
was it? Sixty wasn't? TEN i? Ten what's the what's the? Split?
There just past our station right, there and she's, THINKING
i need To oh, NO i got my. Diaper let it,
go all? Right so this crazy, woman she's done all
these things at his, house she goes into his restroom
(27:16):
and delivers WHAT i now. Know And i'm getting emails
from buddies of mind that are military, veterans and, yes
this is a very well known, act the upper. Decker
and let me tell your mom what the upper decker.
Is you've been into a baseball, right so imagine you're
(27:37):
you're Not Buck, sexton y'all can Tell BUCK i said
that he'd never been to a pro, game to a sporting.
EVENT i don't think Until clay took. It that's that's.
Buck you got to no buck to understand. It so
at the GAME i remember on seven ninety years, ago
they were. MAD i don't know if it Was adam
and and uh uh what Is Wexer's? Adam adam And?
(27:58):
ADAM i don't know if it was Who. Adams it
might have Been Matt. THOMAS i don't know if they
know they have the same. Name somebody programming didn't realize
you can't put THE sat this guy's with the same
name on there because somebody calls a, Hey. Adam. WAIT
i think it might have Been Matt. Thomas you know
sports freaks on the sports. Stations they get upset that
no city Is philadelphia other Than, philadelphia, Right philadelphia fans are?
(28:22):
Crazy how come y'all are crazy like? That so nobody's
in the Lower bowl until you, know, halftime because the
kind of people who can afford the seats down there
don't get there early with their, kid buy them a
jersey and watch the warm. Ups they rusty, Heartened they
come strolling in whenever they want to come strolling. In
that's what rich people. Do that's like, SAYING i don't
(28:45):
know why he's got why he gets to have a
roles once he doesn't even drive it every. Day well
he's got it. Anyway so that's the lower, bowl you,
know down down, Front, okay or at a baseball, game
you know the lower dagne as an end get, inspirity
sweets and all. That, well then you've got the, tank,
(29:07):
right remember the tank that in Uh Godfather part. Two
that's where they hide the. Gun that's uh cops tell
me that's one of the spots where people hide. Stuff
although it's kind of became a sort of pass the
cliche to put to hide stuff in the toilet bowl
because now they're gonna, well you don't want to check
in this, case she does not the way THE i don't.
(29:29):
Know i'm sure you know, this but the way a
toilet is set up is you've got a lower, bowl
or we'll call that the lower deck here and then
and and you can you can stand up and, pee
or you can sit, down turn the opposite, way drop a,
deuce drop the kids off at the. Pool and then
in time they put a nice little padding in. There
(29:50):
you lift it and you drop, it and that became
you know what men would fight about and all. That,
Uh but then there is the mechanism behind. There unless
you're a, plumber likelihood you don't get into that area very. Off,
well this girl is not a, plumber but she did
end up in that. Area she takes the top of
the bowl off and places it. Somewhere we don't. Know
(30:11):
that part of the story is. Missing it's not that.
Important she proceeds to take a massive dump in that,
bowl the upper, bowl upper. Deck now you got to
think about, how aside from the fact that you are,
(30:31):
disgusting this is how much you love this guy you
do This aside from, that imagine how she's got to
contort herself to get her booty hanging over the side
to get this thing done. Right? Yeah, Yeah and so
all this, thought you, know did you plan this ahead
of time or are you middle of ransay and you
got a? Poop you're, like, AH i gotta. Poop this
(30:53):
is an. Opportunity she drops the deuce in, there she
puts the bowl back on, top so you won't. Know,
now the way this works IS i didn't realize think about.
It that's the water coming down in. There so when
you pee and you go to flush the, toilet there's
old Girl maria's who coming in. There so until that's. Gone,
(31:14):
well at the end of this, story there's a group
of us he's telling a story to and he, said she's.
Toxic you think you think your whole water supply is now.
Contaminated she's very. Toxic well you would, think oh, Boy,
no he never saw her. Again he had her. Arrested
(31:37):
they had sex that night after he bailed her. Out
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Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.