April 8, 2026 • 30 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's that time, time, time, time, luck and load. The
Michael Very Show is on the air.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yeah, Corn Pop was a bad dude and he ran
a bunch of bad boys.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
The first rule of fight club is you do not
talk about fight club.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
The second rule of fight club is you do not
talk about fight club.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Not a joke.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
And so he's up on the board, wouldn't listen, and
I said, hey, Esther, you.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
Off the board. I'll come up and drag you off.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Well, he came off, and he said, I'll meet you
outside my car. This was mostly they were all public housing.
Behind you. You know, the chain used to be a
chain that went across the deep end, and he cut
off the six foot left the chain.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
He pulled up.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
He said, you walk out with that chain and you
card say you may cut me, man, but I'm gonna
wrap this chain around your head.
Speaker 6 (01:04):
You gotta fight. Why all right?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
I wonder what is your message to Hezbollah and its
backer Iran.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Don't don't don't don't, Sureley, you can't be serious. I
am serious, and don't call me show you don't don't don't,
But I'm serious.
Speaker 7 (01:27):
These are the kind of guys you like, a smacking ass.
Speaker 8 (01:31):
You and me.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
We're gonna have a fight today after school three o'clock
in the parking lot.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Press always asked me, don't I wish I were debating him? No,
I wish you were in high school.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
I could take him behind the gym.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
You gotta fight? Why you right? Well, mister Darley Man?
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Nine staples to your DOSSI thirty one broken buns.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Two bullet womans, nine punching force.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
Things still screws.
Speaker 6 (02:01):
That's an estimate, of course. I'll give you a local.
Speaker 7 (02:04):
No, thank you.
Speaker 6 (02:07):
Do you enjoy pain?
Speaker 7 (02:09):
Pain?
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Don't hurt? Most of my patients would disagree with you.
Speaker 8 (02:14):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (02:16):
You always carry your medical records around with you safe time.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
It's not about being a tough guy.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
You like that old man. You want a piece of me.
I don't want a.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
Piece of you. I want the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
You can see that I'm mentally incompetent because I can't walk,
and I can beat the hell out of both of them.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
You got to fight. Why you're right? You gotta fight?
Why are you right?
Speaker 5 (03:32):
So? On Tuesdays and Thursday nights, a friend of mine
named Alex Miller comes over and we have dinner. My
wife and me and him, and then we watch Jeopardy.
Sometimes my wife will come out and watch an episode
or two with us, but she doesn't like the cigar smoke,
(03:54):
so she'll usually leave. But she has this irritating habit.
She'll leave after she gets about three in a row,
and then she leaves on a high point and then
I want her to stay back because you know, you
want to double or nothing kind of deal, and she's like, nope.
Irritates me every time. So last night, I don't know why,
(04:15):
but Ramone got a wild hair and he come over
and he was watching with us, and he was on
a roll. I don't know. He admitted later that one
of the final Jeopardy answers he googled and I don't
know how he googled it that fast, but he's you said,
Leon Trotzky. You wasn't even a correct answer whatever? What
What was the correct answer, Anastasia? Yeah, that was correct? Yes, yes,
(04:39):
yes were you there when this question came up? Because
I never heard of this answer. Here was the question.
You can answer it in your own truck. A viral
red pickle is marinated in this sweet and sour and
pecante red sauce from Mexico, sprinkled with teene and stuffed
(05:00):
with takis. You weren't there for that? Do you know
what it is? I don't know how. I've never heard
of this. It's called chamoi. Have you ever heard of
chamoy Yeah? Me, neither. I looked it up. It says
a variety of savory sauces and condiments in Mexican cuisine,
(05:21):
made from pickled fruit. Chamoi may range from a liquid
to a paste consistency, and typically its flavor is salty, sweet, sour,
and spiced with chilies, apple covered in chamoi paste. Well,
I'm gonna ahead and tell you something right now, and
you can mark me down on this one. A lot
(05:43):
of people love to eat Mexican food, proper Mexican interior food,
and they love to tell you how good it is.
It's not, but they love to tell you how good
it is, and they love to tell you how it's authentic.
It's a virtue signal. Oh I eat it so and so,
(06:05):
and it's authentic, authentically what Mexican. Okay, Well, I never
doubted that it was authentically Mexican. Well, this Mexican food,
that's text mex It's a totally different cuisine. But I
will tell you this, ninety nine out of one hundred Texans,
if given the choice between Mexican, I call it Mexican
(06:27):
interior food because it's non text mex and it's in
uh San Luis put the Sea kind of places versus
what you get in Houston, which is the world capital
of tex mex And it's my favorite cuisine. It's not
even close. And I love to tell you that. And
(06:49):
I'm guessing this chimoy is one of those things. But
have you ever had the experience from Hong where somebody
takes you and they say Mexican food because we call
gringos Mexican food, it's not it's text Mexican. And you
go somewhere with somebody and you get in there and
you realize, oh, oh, we're going to play a day
at the museum here. That's what we're gonna do. Okay,
(07:11):
all right, all right, we're all gonna You know, there's
a lot of things people pretend they like that I
don't believe they do. You already know where I'm going.
Sushi's one of them. I don't think people dislike sushi.
I just think they don't like it as much as
they say they do, because nobody needs to say. You know,
women don't post my husband's taking me out for date
(07:33):
night Friday and we're going out and have steak and
home cut French fries. They don't need to do that.
You know you're gonna enjoy it that you just do it.
But with sushi, they feel like by saying that, you'll
have a different impression of them, you'll think that they're
really hip. Well that's what Mexican interior food is. People
(07:57):
like to say, See, this is not what you're used to.
This right here, but this is this right here, this
is this is real Mexican food. Well, I don't like it.
Oysters are not saying I should have I don't like it.
Just just mark me down on the like it or not.
Like I don't like it. I don't care for it.
It's not good. The Michael Barry Show, Simple Man, Johnny There, Yeah, listener.
Speaker 7 (08:25):
Don Williams. I liked that. I got I got to
download it.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
You like what Thomas Soul would call a black redneck.
Speaker 7 (08:35):
Well, you know, I don't believe in colors, Mike and
I that's why I talk to people all over the world. Uh,
and uh, I remember when I would have to do
these applications to do it to get a job, Western ignicity,
American And as much as they wanted to fight back,
(08:55):
they couldn't because I was an American all that, and uh,
but back to me, because I don't want to well,
hold on, John, my situation.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Hold on just a second. We're gonna get to it.
We're gonna get to it. I had a number of
people who email me, including gay Dave, who said, how
did you know he was black? I thought that guy
was a redneck, And I said, I just called one
little word the way he said that was before you
called me, Mike. So I would like to have you
as a recurring character. Just call in and check in
with us on the show so we can check your progress.
(09:26):
I think we need a name for you. And I
know you don't see color. But I was singing a
black John, but I thought, no, but how about surprising
black John King.
Speaker 7 (09:36):
John King John?
Speaker 5 (09:38):
I'm surprisingly black?
Speaker 7 (09:41):
No, I don't want that color in now.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
Okay, deceptively black? How about DBJ. Let's see, nobody will
know what it is.
Speaker 8 (09:49):
Now.
Speaker 7 (09:49):
Just tell me King John. And I got the.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
I got John John with attitude.
Speaker 7 (10:00):
The reason why I say at King John is because
I like the Quarter of the Crimson King by King Crimson.
I don't know if you've heard that song.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Yeah, of course, yeah, I have to be confused with
King Harvest. Okay, John, were gonna play a little game
before we get to your point. I'm going to call
out Burt Reynolds movies and you tell me the first
movie TV that you know of. These were all at
the movie theater. Hold on, John, that was not playing. Well,
hold on, Ramon. I'll play with you. I'll call out
the movie and you tell me what was the first
(10:31):
movie that you saw Burt Reynolds in? Because he was
in movies before you knew it. Nineteen fifty nine, The
Velvet Alley, sixty one, Angel Baby. Just tell me when
we get to one, you know, sixty one Armored Command,
sixty five Operations CIA, sixty six, Navajo Joe sixty eight,
(10:52):
Fade in one hundred sorry hundred Rifles in sixty nine,
Sam Whiskey in sixty nine, Impass in sixty nine, Sharp
in sixty nine, Skullduggery in seventy Hunters Are for Killing
in seventy Run Simon Run in seventy, Fuzz in seventy two,
(11:16):
Deliverance in seventy two. That's when he came to everybody.
Look how many movies he's already been in in that point.
You know he did all his own stunts. He did.
He learned archery for that whole thing. You know his
college roommate was Lee Corso at Florida State. Uh huh
uh huh yeah.
Speaker 6 (11:37):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
Then listen to the movies he was in. I'll forget
the years just so I can go fast. This is
in order, this is starting in seventy two, Everything You
Always Wanted, shame Us White, Lightning, The Man who Loved
Cat Dancing, The Longest Yard. That's a movie right there
at the end when he goes to pick the football
up and the warden tell he's just about to shoot him. Oh,
he just picks the football up, comes back WW and
(12:00):
the Dixie Dance Kings at Long Last, Love, Hustle, Lucky Lady.
We're only at seventy five, Silent Movie, Gator, Nickelodeon, Smoke
in the Bandit seventy seven, Semi Tough, The End, Hooper,
starting Over, Double Jeopardy, Rough Cut, Smoking the Band A two,
(12:21):
then the Cannonball Run the next year, Paternity, Sharky's Machine,
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Another great movie, Best Friends.
That's what Best Friends is, where they try to transition
him to being more of a heart throb, kind of
a tom selick, you know, pure sex symbol without having
(12:42):
to do silly stuff. The winds of Whoopee, stroker Ace again,
trying to get that, trying to get that lightning in
a bottle. Smoking and Smoking the bandit part three, So
imagine that nineteen eighty three, you got stroker Ace and
Smoking the band at part three, The Man Who Loved
Women Cannonball Run two, Well they were wearing that concept
(13:04):
out scona Juveeiler City heat Stick, Sherman's March heat Malone.
We're at eighty seven now, Happy hundredth birthday, Hollywood, rent
a cop, switching channels, Modern love. What year did he do?
Boogie Knights. That's a movie right there, Boogie nice man.
He's in a lot of movies. Good night, All right,
(13:28):
John tell your story. What do you want to do?
You want to figure something out?
Speaker 7 (13:34):
Let me just say this. Now, you know you worked
at Casey ohk okay, Johnny going did the same thing.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Yeah, and but Johnny Goen emails.
Speaker 7 (13:43):
Me, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's on the internet show
called Platinum something, and he's on that on the internet.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
He's a student of radio. He will reference something. He'll say,
you sounded like this person when you did this, and
I go look that person up.
Speaker 7 (14:03):
Yeah when, uh they used to be on I think
Ken from Ken used to be on Greenwood. I remember
in the eighties. I brought him eggnog and turkey and
uh uh he came out and we got acquainted.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
But where did you get that from?
Speaker 7 (14:24):
Kroger?
Speaker 8 (14:25):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (14:25):
Okay, at least my mom did.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
And did you know Mike Patrizza.
Speaker 7 (14:33):
Not I've heard of the name, but.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
He was the guy that was a managing partner of
k C O ah. So you had an all black station,
literally everybody there. You had sweet Jackie that answered the
phone and she pronounced radio R E D D I oh.
I used to love that. She said k C k
C k C oh radio when you'd call it. Yeah.
And then they had uh who did the Battle of
(14:57):
the Bands in the afternoon. The sales director was Don
SAMs John Sampson, the baut of the band. Uh yeah, yeah,
Elon Emelion was the sales director. Michael Harris did the
morning who came in after me, and then Ralph Cooper.
They had Ralph Cooper.
Speaker 7 (15:17):
Yeah, yeah, Mike. I never did listen to.
Speaker 9 (15:20):
The I only listened to person person that station out. Yeah,
but but my stations were Ken mu Ze, Paul Berlin,
uh Scott Alton.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
Yes, got Arthur God. Arthur is still a round. He's
a PR director. He does work for the rodeo and
he the PR director for the homeless shelter Star of Hope.
South West Houston homeowner talks about the would be burglar
who got stuck in their chimney while trying to break
into the home over the weekend. He says he thought
it was maybe a raccoon or something got in. I
(15:56):
come down and open the flu and this guy was
speaking Spanish and he would freaking out. Turns out the
burglar was stuck in there for about two hours. Well
can you isolate? Joni Mitchell making the noises of the
third stof Oh you got the story? Okay, clip number twelve,
You got it? Khou with the story.
Speaker 10 (16:16):
At the Mitchell's home, things were quiet on Easter weekend,
then around twelve thirty Sunday morning.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
The dog started barking.
Speaker 11 (16:23):
And I was like, what's going on?
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Ellie?
Speaker 5 (16:25):
And I did hear some noises.
Speaker 10 (16:28):
Joni Mitchell looked around the house.
Speaker 12 (16:30):
All of a sudden, I started hearing ooh, ooh, ooh,
and it was coming out of the fireplace.
Speaker 10 (16:38):
She wakes up her husband, Kurt, who was confused by
what his wife told him.
Speaker 5 (16:42):
Maybe a raccoon or sudden. They got in and I'll
come down. I know the flu.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Inside the fireplace, the blue levers inside there, and this
guy was speaking Spanish and he.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
Was freaking out.
Speaker 10 (16:56):
The couple called nine one one and Houston firefighters came
in to knock the wall down, brick by brick.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
When I broke, an in the front fell off and
there was his face and his shoulders.
Speaker 10 (17:06):
The man stuck in a space no bigger than two
square feet. After the ordeal, the Mitchells learned why the
man chose the chimney.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
One of the fireman spoke Spanish, and he told him
that he was being chased. He was trying to get
away from something, so.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
I don't know.
Speaker 10 (17:23):
The suspect, identified as thirty three year old Edwin Leonel,
Salmaran Granados is still in the hospital. The Mitchells have
their own pain to deal with patching the wall, hopefully
with the help of insurance.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
It's a pretty good company, so I'm hoping they will.
But we'll find out here shortly, so I hope we
got to pay for it because that less expensive.
Speaker 10 (17:42):
Usually we hear about men in red suits sliding down
chimneys providing gifts, but a real unexpected visit from a
possible intruder left a mark.
Speaker 12 (17:52):
I've never ever heard anything like this before.
Speaker 11 (17:55):
It was crazy.
Speaker 10 (17:57):
The district attorney's office tells me that the expect we'll
be charged with burglary of habitation. And it's unclear though,
since he's still in the hospital, when he's going to
face a judge or be in courts. And I asked
the he's a fire department, who is responsible for the
hole in the wall, and who could be held liable.
I'm still waiting for a definitive answer.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
He claims somebody was chasing him. Okay, all right, so
that's why you got up on the roof. Were they
chasing you on the roof and you decided to go
down the chimney in the middle of the night. Can
you imagine how horrible that would be. You walked from
(18:38):
the southern tip of Mexico to get to Texas. You
stand around all day at the home depot, nobody hires you,
and you decide, I'm going to break into that house
right there, But how will I get in? They made
a door for man, but I shan't do that. I
(19:02):
will make like a turtle dove and enter the the
chimney and hope the flu is open. Well, what's his
name again? He's got four names? That's too much. I
never understood that with Mexicans. I don't have time for that.
There's too many names, too many names to give. I
can't keep up with a full name. Now, how's four names?
(19:26):
And I know this is gonna make people mad, Ramon,
and you're as guilt as the next guy. But there
ain't but like five Mexican names, they're all really the
same name if you think about it, Pedro, Juan, Jose, Jorge,
which is the same thing, Ramon, Ramundo. Heyesus, that's weird.
(19:47):
That's weird. You admit that's weird. Oh yeah, it's like
Jim Gaffigan talking about Mexican food. It's all really the
same thing. My favorite food is Mexican food.
Speaker 8 (19:59):
I used to be a waiter in a Mexican restaurant
in Indiana, and that's where you go from Mexican. Mexican
food's great, but it's essentially all the same ingredients, so
you'd always have to as a weight. You have to
deal with these stupid questions, people like, what is not
chos nachos.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
It's tortillaa cheese meater vegetables. Oh, then what is it
burrito tortilla cheese meter vegetables. But then what is that
tas tata.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Tortilla cheese meat of vegtaans.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
We then, look, it's all the same. Why don't you
say a Spanish We're gonna bring you something. Mexican food
is great, but it is all the same. It's almost
a conspiracy. It's almost like they had a meeting two
hundred years ago in Mexico City and one guy sit up.
He was like, hey, look the reason I got everyone
here is pretty simple. I figured we could rename this
(20:52):
one entree seven times and sell it to the North Americans.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
The French said it would be a good idea. That
was a callback to an earlier Joe that homeowner named
Joni Mitchell. The sound she makes of the burglar when
he got stuck in there. I've listened to that twenty
five times.
Speaker 12 (21:10):
All of sudden, I started here, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Speaker 5 (21:23):
We were talking about it earlier, and I said, hey,
you got the audio on that story of the Mexican
dude and said which one? And I said, you know,
the turd stuck in her chimney. And he thought that
was the funniest thing ever. If you recognize that he's
a third and he was charged with burglary, that makes
(21:45):
him the turd burglar. My brother used to use that term,
not for Mexicans that came in that it there's a
whole difference. Yeah, anyway, can we hear it again one
more time?
Speaker 12 (21:57):
All of sudden, I started here, Oh, Willia, it sounds
like she's in the nineteen seventies Kung Fu movie.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Listen. After all, it was my brother who died, so
that you'll let me.
Speaker 11 (22:25):
Julia Hia.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I'm not proud of this, but I think I might
have been like Marcellus in uh pulp fiction when he
said when he let Bruce Willis go, you remember, and
they had ned, he had ned now and she's but
baby who is ned Ed's dead? Baby was zed Z's dead.
(23:07):
I kind of feel like if I had one of
them turd burglars in the chimney like that and the
flu was closed and I realized what was going on.
I think I might leave him there for a while,
you know, use the poker and poke in there on him.
Hey you like that? How you like them apples?
Speaker 8 (23:25):
What?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
And mess with him for a while. Our friend Miller rights,
My girlfriend likes interior slash upscale type masking food. There's
a handful of them in Austin. They all have some
kind of state which what we always get. Don't get
me wrong, it's good. But I've come to call them
black bean places because that's about the only kind they have.
I like this girl, and I don't want to break
up with her, but if I ever do, it's because
I want it. I don't want oh, because I want
(23:48):
a damn number two dinner plate that is all not
black means I don't like what?
Speaker 11 (23:54):
Accept that.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
I'll tell you what. You go to Corey Morril concert
these days, it's liable to bust into a revival, and
I'm here for it. He played in Manville this weekend.
I couldn't go with some people who were there sent
me emails and I don't know who did this. Have
you seen this video they made? They made a massive
(24:27):
Christ in the sky out of drones. You saw this?
My goodness, that was amazing. I believe it was a
church in Manville. I need to ask Forry the story,
but I sent him a text of the email and
he said it was one of the most fulfilling shows
(24:47):
I've ever done. He will now openly give his testimony
during the middle of his show. It's incredible. You know,
most people, if they're saved or rededicate their lives, we'll
leave the music business because of the temptation, the difficulties.
(25:09):
So he gave up drinking and anything else he wants
to tell you he did. He gave all that up.
So you know, half the songs mentioned drinking. Everybody in
the audience because the standard redneck move is to raise
your beer to Corey while he's singing and bounce your
(25:30):
beer to the to the to the music, you know,
kind of as a tribute. So that's going on every night.
And when you were already a drinker and a wild child,
and I saw a video the other day. I had
to send it to him because it was so funny.
It was him and Corey on stage and he's holding
a cigarette. It just felt so dirty, like Corey, what
(25:54):
are you doing? We got a good laugh out of it.
But now you know, I'm a big believer administering to
people where they are. And the fact that he can
do a show and play Nashville Blues and twenty one
days on the road and all demand that I've been,
all the hits, light on the stage, and then give
(26:17):
his testimony and play he carries me. He has a
number of what would qualify as country gospel songs that
he wrote, and they also happened to be wonderful songs.
Remote there's a bunch of people working out while they're
listening to the show, Michael writes Czar. I'm exercising in
my garage and I was doing dead lifts. When you
played the clip of the lady mocking the Santa Claus
(26:40):
Sento's clause he called it, I dropped the weights from laughing.
I hope I didn't injure myself play that again.
Speaker 12 (26:48):
All of a sudden I started hearing oohoo.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
The only reason that's funny is because you know that's
what he sounded like, and everybody can imagine he's in there.
David writes, lady making the burglar noise. I'm at the
gym playing your show and people are looking at me.
Funny do it again? All of a sudden, I started hearing.
(27:19):
I like to imagine them worrying that he's gonna die
after they call the cops, Like, this is gonna be
one of George Floyd deals, right, because they're gonna pull
him out and he's gonna look like the Tar Baby
and Song of the South, you know that, right, because
he's kind of that soot all over it. And it's
always the wife that starts worrying, honey, what if he dies? Well,
(27:45):
I didn't put him in there. Well should we get
him out? No, we gotta wait till the cops get here. Well,
I want him to die. They sent Chauvein to prison. Well, Mexican,
he's not black, so there's there's not really a black
lives It's not really a you know, Mexican lives matter
(28:09):
sort of thing. What's he saying? I have no idea? Well,
you got that translation app on your phone, won't you
look it up. Let's let's see if we can pass
him a message. Ask him. See what it says for?
How are you doing?
Speaker 8 (28:27):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (28:28):
Okay? It says como esta, and he's in there, steady,
he's charge of the Alamo. Hey, hey, hey, hey, fellow,
calm down, listen, listen, say it again? What say?
Speaker 7 (28:42):
Tell him?
Speaker 5 (28:42):
What you're gonna say? Como esta? Senor mal us mal rs.
I don't know what he's I think you want something
to eat? Ask him again, Senor, Senor talking, We can't
hear you. Stop stop listen, Listen to my wife. Listen
(29:04):
to my wife. Say it again. Say it again, honey, Senor,
come come on it. It says esta, and esthas depending
on if it's from it just do the word. I
don't know familiar and he ain't related to us? Okay, Senor?
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (29:21):
Como esta? Mo my o man? What are yeah? Should
we get him something to eat? I wonder if he's thirsty?
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Look up?
Speaker 5 (29:36):
You want something to drink? Let's see kieres all go
uh tomorrow say Mampie's is one of the resident Oh man,
there has to be video of this. There's got to
be video of this. What it wouldn't be worth to
(29:56):
watch that exchange. What did he do again? Makes that
noise again?
Speaker 12 (30:02):
All of a sudden, I started hearing ooh, ooh, ooh.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
We're trying to come up with a name for John.
I had somebody, a democrat, minds you who listens to
the show, said you can't call him King John because
of no kings. I like surprisingly black John. He doesn't
want a color in there, but I think that's memorable.
SBJ for short Beguil. Should we get shirts made
It's that time, time, time, time, luck and load. The
Michael Very Show is on the air.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yeah, Corn Pop was a bad dude and he ran
a bunch of bad boys.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
The first rule of fight club is you do not
talk about fight club.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
The second rule of fight club is you do not
talk about fight club.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Not a joke.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
And so he's up on the board, wouldn't listen, and
I said, hey, Esther, you.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
Off the board. I'll come up and drag you off.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Well, he came off, and he said, I'll meet you
outside my car. This was mostly they were all public housing.
Behind you. You know, the chain used to be a
chain that went across the deep end, and he cut
off the six foot left the chain.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
He pulled up.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
He said, you walk out with that chain and you
card say you may cut me, man, but I'm gonna
wrap this chain around your head.
Speaker 6 (01:04):
You gotta fight. Why all right?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
I wonder what is your message to Hezbollah and its
backer Iran.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Don't don't don't don't, Sureley, you can't be serious. I
am serious, and don't call me show you don't don't don't,
But I'm serious.
Speaker 7 (01:27):
These are the kind of guys you like, a smacking ass.
Speaker 8 (01:31):
You and me.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
We're gonna have a fight today after school three o'clock
in the parking lot.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Press always asked me, don't I wish I were debating him? No,
I wish you were in high school.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
I could take him behind the gym.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
You gotta fight? Why you right? Well, mister Darley Man?
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Nine staples to your DOSSI thirty one broken buns.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Two bullet womans, nine punching force.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
Things still screws.
Speaker 6 (02:01):
That's an estimate, of course. I'll give you a local.
Speaker 7 (02:04):
No, thank you.
Speaker 6 (02:07):
Do you enjoy pain?
Speaker 7 (02:09):
Pain?
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Don't hurt? Most of my patients would disagree with you.
Speaker 8 (02:14):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (02:16):
You always carry your medical records around with you safe time.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
It's not about being a tough guy.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
You like that old man. You want a piece of me.
I don't want a.
Speaker 5 (02:32):
Piece of you. I want the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
You can see that I'm mentally incompetent because I can't walk,
and I can beat the hell out of both of them.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
You got to fight. Why you're right? You gotta fight?
Why are you right?
Speaker 5 (03:32):
So? On Tuesdays and Thursday nights, a friend of mine
named Alex Miller comes over and we have dinner. My
wife and me and him, and then we watch Jeopardy.
Sometimes my wife will come out and watch an episode
or two with us, but she doesn't like the cigar smoke,
(03:54):
so she'll usually leave. But she has this irritating habit.
She'll leave after she gets about three in a row,
and then she leaves on a high point and then
I want her to stay back because you know, you
want to double or nothing kind of deal, and she's like, nope.
Irritates me every time. So last night, I don't know why,
(04:15):
but Ramone got a wild hair and he come over
and he was watching with us, and he was on
a roll. I don't know. He admitted later that one
of the final Jeopardy answers he googled and I don't
know how he googled it that fast, but he's you said,
Leon Trotzky. You wasn't even a correct answer whatever? What
What was the correct answer, Anastasia? Yeah, that was correct? Yes, yes,
(04:39):
yes were you there when this question came up? Because
I never heard of this answer. Here was the question.
You can answer it in your own truck. A viral
red pickle is marinated in this sweet and sour and
pecante red sauce from Mexico, sprinkled with teene and stuffed
(05:00):
with takis. You weren't there for that? Do you know
what it is? I don't know how. I've never heard
of this. It's called chamoi. Have you ever heard of
chamoy Yeah? Me, neither. I looked it up. It says
a variety of savory sauces and condiments in Mexican cuisine,
(05:21):
made from pickled fruit. Chamoi may range from a liquid
to a paste consistency, and typically its flavor is salty, sweet, sour,
and spiced with chilies, apple covered in chamoi paste. Well,
I'm gonna ahead and tell you something right now, and
you can mark me down on this one. A lot
(05:43):
of people love to eat Mexican food, proper Mexican interior food,
and they love to tell you how good it is.
It's not, but they love to tell you how good
it is, and they love to tell you how it's authentic.
It's a virtue signal. Oh I eat it so and so,
(06:05):
and it's authentic, authentically what Mexican. Okay, Well, I never
doubted that it was authentically Mexican. Well, this Mexican food,
that's text mex It's a totally different cuisine. But I
will tell you this, ninety nine out of one hundred Texans,
if given the choice between Mexican, I call it Mexican
(06:27):
interior food because it's non text mex and it's in
uh San Luis put the Sea kind of places versus
what you get in Houston, which is the world capital
of tex mex And it's my favorite cuisine. It's not
even close. And I love to tell you that. And
(06:49):
I'm guessing this chimoy is one of those things. But
have you ever had the experience from Hong where somebody
takes you and they say Mexican food because we call
gringos Mexican food, it's not it's text Mexican. And you
go somewhere with somebody and you get in there and
you realize, oh, oh, we're going to play a day
at the museum here. That's what we're gonna do. Okay,
(07:11):
all right, all right, we're all gonna You know, there's
a lot of things people pretend they like that I
don't believe they do. You already know where I'm going.
Sushi's one of them. I don't think people dislike sushi.
I just think they don't like it as much as
they say they do, because nobody needs to say. You know,
women don't post my husband's taking me out for date
(07:33):
night Friday and we're going out and have steak and
home cut French fries. They don't need to do that.
You know you're gonna enjoy it that you just do it.
But with sushi, they feel like by saying that, you'll
have a different impression of them, you'll think that they're
really hip. Well that's what Mexican interior food is. People
(07:57):
like to say, See, this is not what you're used to.
This right here, but this is this right here, this
is this is real Mexican food. Well, I don't like it.
Oysters are not saying I should have I don't like it.
Just just mark me down on the like it or not.
Like I don't like it. I don't care for it.
It's not good. The Michael Barry Show, Simple Man, Johnny There, Yeah, listener.
Speaker 7 (08:25):
Don Williams. I liked that. I got I got to
download it.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
You like what Thomas Soul would call a black redneck.
Speaker 7 (08:35):
Well, you know, I don't believe in colors, Mike and
I that's why I talk to people all over the world. Uh,
and uh, I remember when I would have to do
these applications to do it to get a job, Western ignicity,
American And as much as they wanted to fight back,
(08:55):
they couldn't because I was an American all that, and uh,
but back to me, because I don't want to well,
hold on, John, my situation.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Hold on just a second. We're gonna get to it.
We're gonna get to it. I had a number of
people who email me, including gay Dave, who said, how
did you know he was black? I thought that guy
was a redneck, And I said, I just called one
little word the way he said that was before you
called me, Mike. So I would like to have you
as a recurring character. Just call in and check in
with us on the show so we can check your progress.
(09:26):
I think we need a name for you. And I
know you don't see color. But I was singing a
black John, but I thought, no, but how about surprising
black John King.
Speaker 7 (09:36):
John King John?
Speaker 5 (09:38):
I'm surprisingly black?
Speaker 7 (09:41):
No, I don't want that color in now.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
Okay, deceptively black? How about DBJ. Let's see, nobody will
know what it is.
Speaker 8 (09:49):
Now.
Speaker 7 (09:49):
Just tell me King John. And I got the.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
I got John John with attitude.
Speaker 7 (10:00):
The reason why I say at King John is because
I like the Quarter of the Crimson King by King Crimson.
I don't know if you've heard that song.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Yeah, of course, yeah, I have to be confused with
King Harvest. Okay, John, were gonna play a little game
before we get to your point. I'm going to call
out Burt Reynolds movies and you tell me the first
movie TV that you know of. These were all at
the movie theater. Hold on, John, that was not playing. Well,
hold on, Ramon. I'll play with you. I'll call out
the movie and you tell me what was the first
(10:31):
movie that you saw Burt Reynolds in? Because he was
in movies before you knew it. Nineteen fifty nine, The
Velvet Alley, sixty one, Angel Baby. Just tell me when
we get to one, you know, sixty one Armored Command,
sixty five Operations CIA, sixty six, Navajo Joe sixty eight,
(10:52):
Fade in one hundred sorry hundred Rifles in sixty nine,
Sam Whiskey in sixty nine, Impass in sixty nine, Sharp
in sixty nine, Skullduggery in seventy Hunters Are for Killing
in seventy Run Simon Run in seventy, Fuzz in seventy two,
(11:16):
Deliverance in seventy two. That's when he came to everybody.
Look how many movies he's already been in in that point.
You know he did all his own stunts. He did.
He learned archery for that whole thing. You know his
college roommate was Lee Corso at Florida State. Uh huh
uh huh yeah.
Speaker 6 (11:37):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
Then listen to the movies he was in. I'll forget
the years just so I can go fast. This is
in order, this is starting in seventy two, Everything You
Always Wanted, shame Us White, Lightning, The Man who Loved
Cat Dancing, The Longest Yard. That's a movie right there
at the end when he goes to pick the football
up and the warden tell he's just about to shoot him. Oh,
he just picks the football up, comes back WW and
(12:00):
the Dixie Dance Kings at Long Last, Love, Hustle, Lucky Lady.
We're only at seventy five, Silent Movie, Gator, Nickelodeon, Smoke
in the Bandit seventy seven, Semi Tough, The End, Hooper,
starting Over, Double Jeopardy, Rough Cut, Smoking the Band A two,
(12:21):
then the Cannonball Run the next year, Paternity, Sharky's Machine,
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Another great movie, Best Friends.
That's what Best Friends is, where they try to transition
him to being more of a heart throb, kind of
a tom selick, you know, pure sex symbol without having
(12:42):
to do silly stuff. The winds of Whoopee, stroker Ace again,
trying to get that, trying to get that lightning in
a bottle. Smoking and Smoking the bandit part three, So
imagine that nineteen eighty three, you got stroker Ace and
Smoking the band at part three, The Man Who Loved
Women Cannonball Run two, Well they were wearing that concept
(13:04):
out scona Juveeiler City heat Stick, Sherman's March heat Malone.
We're at eighty seven now, Happy hundredth birthday, Hollywood, rent
a cop, switching channels, Modern love. What year did he do?
Boogie Knights. That's a movie right there, Boogie nice man.
He's in a lot of movies. Good night, All right,
(13:28):
John tell your story. What do you want to do?
You want to figure something out?
Speaker 7 (13:34):
Let me just say this. Now, you know you worked
at Casey ohk okay, Johnny going did the same thing.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Yeah, and but Johnny Goen emails.
Speaker 7 (13:43):
Me, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's on the internet show
called Platinum something, and he's on that on the internet.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
He's a student of radio. He will reference something. He'll say,
you sounded like this person when you did this, and
I go look that person up.
Speaker 7 (14:03):
Yeah when, uh they used to be on I think
Ken from Ken used to be on Greenwood. I remember
in the eighties. I brought him eggnog and turkey and
uh uh he came out and we got acquainted.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
But where did you get that from?
Speaker 7 (14:24):
Kroger?
Speaker 8 (14:25):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (14:25):
Okay, at least my mom did.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
And did you know Mike Patrizza.
Speaker 7 (14:33):
Not I've heard of the name, but.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
He was the guy that was a managing partner of
k C O ah. So you had an all black station,
literally everybody there. You had sweet Jackie that answered the
phone and she pronounced radio R E D D I oh.
I used to love that. She said k C k
C k C oh radio when you'd call it. Yeah.
And then they had uh who did the Battle of
(14:57):
the Bands in the afternoon. The sales director was Don
SAMs John Sampson, the baut of the band. Uh yeah, yeah,
Elon Emelion was the sales director. Michael Harris did the
morning who came in after me, and then Ralph Cooper.
They had Ralph Cooper.
Speaker 7 (15:17):
Yeah, yeah, Mike. I never did listen to.
Speaker 9 (15:20):
The I only listened to person person that station out. Yeah,
but but my stations were Ken mu Ze, Paul Berlin,
uh Scott Alton.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
Yes, got Arthur God. Arthur is still a round. He's
a PR director. He does work for the rodeo and
he the PR director for the homeless shelter Star of Hope.
South West Houston homeowner talks about the would be burglar
who got stuck in their chimney while trying to break
into the home over the weekend. He says he thought
it was maybe a raccoon or something got in. I
(15:56):
come down and open the flu and this guy was
speaking Spanish and he would freaking out. Turns out the
burglar was stuck in there for about two hours. Well
can you isolate? Joni Mitchell making the noises of the
third stof Oh you got the story? Okay, clip number twelve,
You got it? Khou with the story.
Speaker 10 (16:16):
At the Mitchell's home, things were quiet on Easter weekend,
then around twelve thirty Sunday morning.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
The dog started barking.
Speaker 11 (16:23):
And I was like, what's going on?
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Ellie?
Speaker 5 (16:25):
And I did hear some noises.
Speaker 10 (16:28):
Joni Mitchell looked around the house.
Speaker 12 (16:30):
All of a sudden, I started hearing ooh, ooh, ooh,
and it was coming out of the fireplace.
Speaker 10 (16:38):
She wakes up her husband, Kurt, who was confused by
what his wife told him.
Speaker 5 (16:42):
Maybe a raccoon or sudden. They got in and I'll
come down. I know the flu.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Inside the fireplace, the blue levers inside there, and this
guy was speaking Spanish and he.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
Was freaking out.
Speaker 10 (16:56):
The couple called nine one one and Houston firefighters came
in to knock the wall down, brick by brick.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
When I broke, an in the front fell off and
there was his face and his shoulders.
Speaker 10 (17:06):
The man stuck in a space no bigger than two
square feet. After the ordeal, the Mitchells learned why the
man chose the chimney.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
One of the fireman spoke Spanish, and he told him
that he was being chased. He was trying to get
away from something, so.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
I don't know.
Speaker 10 (17:23):
The suspect, identified as thirty three year old Edwin Leonel,
Salmaran Granados is still in the hospital. The Mitchells have
their own pain to deal with patching the wall, hopefully
with the help of insurance.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
It's a pretty good company, so I'm hoping they will.
But we'll find out here shortly, so I hope we
got to pay for it because that less expensive.
Speaker 10 (17:42):
Usually we hear about men in red suits sliding down
chimneys providing gifts, but a real unexpected visit from a
possible intruder left a mark.
Speaker 12 (17:52):
I've never ever heard anything like this before.
Speaker 11 (17:55):
It was crazy.
Speaker 10 (17:57):
The district attorney's office tells me that the expect we'll
be charged with burglary of habitation. And it's unclear though,
since he's still in the hospital, when he's going to
face a judge or be in courts. And I asked
the he's a fire department, who is responsible for the
hole in the wall, and who could be held liable.
I'm still waiting for a definitive answer.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
He claims somebody was chasing him. Okay, all right, so
that's why you got up on the roof. Were they
chasing you on the roof and you decided to go
down the chimney in the middle of the night. Can
you imagine how horrible that would be. You walked from
(18:38):
the southern tip of Mexico to get to Texas. You
stand around all day at the home depot, nobody hires you,
and you decide, I'm going to break into that house
right there, But how will I get in? They made
a door for man, but I shan't do that. I
(19:02):
will make like a turtle dove and enter the the
chimney and hope the flu is open. Well, what's his
name again? He's got four names? That's too much. I
never understood that with Mexicans. I don't have time for that.
There's too many names, too many names to give. I
can't keep up with a full name. Now, how's four names?
(19:26):
And I know this is gonna make people mad, Ramon,
and you're as guilt as the next guy. But there
ain't but like five Mexican names, they're all really the
same name if you think about it, Pedro, Juan, Jose, Jorge,
which is the same thing, Ramon, Ramundo. Heyesus, that's weird.
(19:47):
That's weird. You admit that's weird. Oh yeah, it's like
Jim Gaffigan talking about Mexican food. It's all really the
same thing. My favorite food is Mexican food.
Speaker 8 (19:59):
I used to be a waiter in a Mexican restaurant
in Indiana, and that's where you go from Mexican. Mexican
food's great, but it's essentially all the same ingredients, so
you'd always have to as a weight. You have to
deal with these stupid questions, people like, what is not
chos nachos.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
It's tortillaa cheese meater vegetables. Oh, then what is it
burrito tortilla cheese meter vegetables. But then what is that
tas tata.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Tortilla cheese meat of vegtaans.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
We then, look, it's all the same. Why don't you
say a Spanish We're gonna bring you something. Mexican food
is great, but it is all the same. It's almost
a conspiracy. It's almost like they had a meeting two
hundred years ago in Mexico City and one guy sit up.
He was like, hey, look the reason I got everyone
here is pretty simple. I figured we could rename this
(20:52):
one entree seven times and sell it to the North Americans.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
The French said it would be a good idea. That
was a callback to an earlier Joe that homeowner named
Joni Mitchell. The sound she makes of the burglar when
he got stuck in there. I've listened to that twenty
five times.
Speaker 12 (21:10):
All of sudden, I started here, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Speaker 5 (21:23):
We were talking about it earlier, and I said, hey,
you got the audio on that story of the Mexican
dude and said which one? And I said, you know,
the turd stuck in her chimney. And he thought that
was the funniest thing ever. If you recognize that he's
a third and he was charged with burglary, that makes
(21:45):
him the turd burglar. My brother used to use that term,
not for Mexicans that came in that it there's a
whole difference. Yeah, anyway, can we hear it again one
more time?
Speaker 12 (21:57):
All of sudden, I started here, Oh, Willia, it sounds
like she's in the nineteen seventies Kung Fu movie.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Listen. After all, it was my brother who died, so
that you'll let me.
Speaker 11 (22:25):
Julia Hia.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I'm not proud of this, but I think I might
have been like Marcellus in uh pulp fiction when he
said when he let Bruce Willis go, you remember, and
they had ned, he had ned now and she's but
baby who is ned Ed's dead? Baby was zed Z's dead.
(23:07):
I kind of feel like if I had one of
them turd burglars in the chimney like that and the
flu was closed and I realized what was going on.
I think I might leave him there for a while,
you know, use the poker and poke in there on him.
Hey you like that? How you like them apples?
Speaker 8 (23:25):
What?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
And mess with him for a while. Our friend Miller rights,
My girlfriend likes interior slash upscale type masking food. There's
a handful of them in Austin. They all have some
kind of state which what we always get. Don't get
me wrong, it's good. But I've come to call them
black bean places because that's about the only kind they have.
I like this girl, and I don't want to break
up with her, but if I ever do, it's because
I want it. I don't want oh, because I want
(23:48):
a damn number two dinner plate that is all not
black means I don't like what?
Speaker 11 (23:54):
Accept that.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
I'll tell you what. You go to Corey Morril concert
these days, it's liable to bust into a revival, and
I'm here for it. He played in Manville this weekend.
I couldn't go with some people who were there sent
me emails and I don't know who did this. Have
you seen this video they made? They made a massive
(24:27):
Christ in the sky out of drones. You saw this?
My goodness, that was amazing. I believe it was a
church in Manville. I need to ask Forry the story,
but I sent him a text of the email and
he said it was one of the most fulfilling shows
(24:47):
I've ever done. He will now openly give his testimony
during the middle of his show. It's incredible. You know,
most people, if they're saved or rededicate their lives, we'll
leave the music business because of the temptation, the difficulties.
(25:09):
So he gave up drinking and anything else he wants
to tell you he did. He gave all that up.
So you know, half the songs mentioned drinking. Everybody in
the audience because the standard redneck move is to raise
your beer to Corey while he's singing and bounce your
(25:30):
beer to the to the to the music, you know,
kind of as a tribute. So that's going on every night.
And when you were already a drinker and a wild child,
and I saw a video the other day. I had
to send it to him because it was so funny.
It was him and Corey on stage and he's holding
a cigarette. It just felt so dirty, like Corey, what
(25:54):
are you doing? We got a good laugh out of it.
But now you know, I'm a big believer administering to
people where they are. And the fact that he can
do a show and play Nashville Blues and twenty one
days on the road and all demand that I've been,
all the hits, light on the stage, and then give
(26:17):
his testimony and play he carries me. He has a
number of what would qualify as country gospel songs that
he wrote, and they also happened to be wonderful songs.
Remote there's a bunch of people working out while they're
listening to the show, Michael writes Czar. I'm exercising in
my garage and I was doing dead lifts. When you
played the clip of the lady mocking the Santa Claus
(26:40):
Sento's clause he called it, I dropped the weights from laughing.
I hope I didn't injure myself play that again.
Speaker 12 (26:48):
All of a sudden I started hearing oohoo.
Speaker 5 (26:54):
The only reason that's funny is because you know that's
what he sounded like, and everybody can imagine he's in there.
David writes, lady making the burglar noise. I'm at the
gym playing your show and people are looking at me.
Funny do it again? All of a sudden, I started hearing.
(27:19):
I like to imagine them worrying that he's gonna die
after they call the cops, Like, this is gonna be
one of George Floyd deals, right, because they're gonna pull
him out and he's gonna look like the Tar Baby
and Song of the South, you know that, right, because
he's kind of that soot all over it. And it's
always the wife that starts worrying, honey, what if he dies? Well,
(27:45):
I didn't put him in there. Well should we get
him out? No, we gotta wait till the cops get here. Well,
I want him to die. They sent Chauvein to prison. Well, Mexican,
he's not black, so there's there's not really a black
lives It's not really a you know, Mexican lives matter
(28:09):
sort of thing. What's he saying? I have no idea? Well,
you got that translation app on your phone, won't you
look it up. Let's let's see if we can pass
him a message. Ask him. See what it says for?
How are you doing?
Speaker 8 (28:27):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (28:28):
Okay? It says como esta, and he's in there, steady,
he's charge of the Alamo. Hey, hey, hey, hey, fellow,
calm down, listen, listen, say it again? What say?
Speaker 7 (28:42):
Tell him?
Speaker 5 (28:42):
What you're gonna say? Como esta? Senor mal us mal rs.
I don't know what he's I think you want something
to eat? Ask him again, Senor, Senor talking, We can't
hear you. Stop stop listen, Listen to my wife. Listen
(29:04):
to my wife. Say it again. Say it again, honey, Senor,
come come on it. It says esta, and esthas depending
on if it's from it just do the word. I
don't know familiar and he ain't related to us? Okay, Senor?
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (29:21):
Como esta? Mo my o man? What are yeah? Should
we get him something to eat? I wonder if he's thirsty?
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Look up?
Speaker 5 (29:36):
You want something to drink? Let's see kieres all go
uh tomorrow say Mampie's is one of the resident Oh man,
there has to be video of this. There's got to
be video of this. What it wouldn't be worth to
(29:56):
watch that exchange. What did he do again? Makes that
noise again?
Speaker 12 (30:02):
All of a sudden, I started hearing ooh, ooh, ooh.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
We're trying to come up with a name for John.
I had somebody, a democrat, minds you who listens to
the show, said you can't call him King John because
of no kings. I like surprisingly black John. He doesn't
want a color in there, but I think that's memorable.
SBJ for short Beguil. Should we get shirts made
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