March 9, 2026 • 26 mins
This week’s hometowns include a mafia grandma and generational trash parenting.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hello and welcome my favorite murder the miniso to read
you the stories that you send us, and I keep.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Air drying my hair. So what you're hearing now it
sounds so smooth and silky, but what you're seeing.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Or a mess. But this is the chill episode. I
feel like this is the easy like lightlift episode.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Is this the clean girl makeup episode?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
No, I've been like hometowns just feel like, do we
have to be so perfect all the time, not like
in the regular episodes where we're.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Where it's on it eh, caroling it. This is a
nice concise one to kick it off. The subject line
is classic hometown and badass Grandpa, and it says it
just goes right into it. My grandpa Ray was and
I'll always will be a total badass and my hero
Ray Boom. I could write stories for days, But my
favorite was the time that he casually told me he
(01:08):
spent part of his childhood alongside an infamous killer. Grandpa
grew up in the holler of Brush Mountain in Blacksburg, Virginia,
where I was born and raised. He once told me
about a boy who lived up the same road in quotes,
a different fella, he said, who had a glass eye.
The boy's mama was a sex worker, and his daddy.
I bet that's not how her Grandpa said.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
He did not use those words.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
The boy's mama was a sex worker and his daddy
didn't have any legs. Grandpa added, almost as an afterthought,
that the fellow went on to kill women out west
and confessed to many other murders. I immediately called bullshit
on Grandpa. That's when my mom chimed in, No, it's true.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Grandpa grew up alongside Henry Lee Lucas, the confession killer.
Holy shit, Henry Lee Lucas was his neighborhood kid.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Noo. Grandpa ra to wait ten years ago, but I
treasure the twenty six years I got to spend with
him and the many stories he shared. I would love
to hear Grandpa wrote holler stories, absolutely, especially that one
in particular. Sure, stay sexy, and don't be too quick
to call bullshit on Grandpa, Amy and.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Immediate bullshit on Grandpa like I would never have the
gualt called bullshit on a grandpa.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That's how these kids are these days, true, these gen
z ers, that's right, they yearn for justice.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay, this is called one hour Photo for good. If
you're actually reading this, I am so grateful to this
podcast and everyone who makes it happen. I have been
a listener since twenty sixteen. Hey, your podcast talked me
off the ledge the morning after the election that year.
Can you believe we thought that was the worst that
could happen.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
You've been my friends and traveling companions through so much,
giving me laughter, through breast cancer, divorce, pet loss and
empty nest, and so much more. I appreciate you, ladies,
and count you as sisters. Oh my god, No, but
I want to tell you about something that happened when
I was nineteen. It was nineteen eighty nine and I
had dropped out of college. Concerned about my well being.
(03:09):
My older brother invited me to move from my home
state of Kentucky down to League City, Texas.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Big baseball town, a lot of league, a lot of
baseball leagues, a lot of leagues, measurements under the seat,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
That is a whole nother story. I quickly got a
job at a one hour photo lab in friends would
Texas just up the inner state one exit. My sister
worked at a one hour photo place when she was
in high school at she saw some shit. Awesome, Yeah,
we all saw. We all got to see some shits.
It was a busy one hour lab and a big mall.
There were regulars with rolls of film chronicling their lives.
(03:45):
Do you remember disc cameras in stematics. These took terrible pictures?
Yeah they did, did they?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Me and my sister got them for Christmas one year
from Aunt Mannon and they came in this big It
was almost like an unboxing box. It came in this
big box. It was such a big deal presentation, but
it felt like they were cameras made for to give
kids a camera and be like, here, go take some pictures.
And that's what all.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Everything was like from a down here perspective, like downward
going up right? Yeah? This okay? These two terrible pictures.
But then there was the thirty five millimeter film in
twelve twenty four or thirty six frame rolls. Oh I
should know that my sister's now a photographer.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I was going to say, did Lee learn it at
the photo development line?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Since high school? She's been doing it. Oh yeah, she's dedicated. Okay.
Most people got single or double prints, except for a
regular customer who came in about once a week dropped
off a role for film processing. Only he would be
back on the hour to pick up the film. He
asked us to keep the whole role intact, placed in
a special clear plastic sleeve, then rolled, and then put
(04:46):
back into the paper bag. So I feel like we
need to explain to some children that are listening.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Oh yeah, instead of.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Getting the film developed into actual photos, you would just
get them turned into film so you could go home
in your own dark room and develop them yourself. Yeah,
meaning no one would see the film at the one
hour photostore. See, I didn't know that. I'm learning with
the children. Okay, I didn't realize that was like getting
a thing to then go home and do it himself
instead of Yeah, He's like, you have to take the
(05:15):
first two steps for me because I don't have like
the chemicals or something. Sure, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Okay, that's all I know. All he's saying is what's
happening on this film is illegal.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Totally, and I don't look at it.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
My boss, a no nonsense native Texan a year older
than me named Lisa, stopped me the first time I
processed a role of his film. She took the role,
looked at it on the light table, quickly printed a
few frames. The date was automatically printed on the back
of each print. The pictures would go through the machine
in a long strip, coming down a conveyor belt to
(05:45):
be packaged that people in the mall could watch the
stream of images. She covered the conveyor when his went through. Oh,
she's going clandestine.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Lisa knows exactly what's happening here, and she's going to
do something about it.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I love this one because I remember every single old
like boss or coworker I had from when I was
stupid at nineteen sure instead of stupid and forty five
that like taught me so much about life. They were
like so no nonsense.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yes. Well, also because they were the holders and like
they were the rule followers, as the example, so when
they were breaking rules, you were like, wait, what's happening now,
Like the waitress had passed my mom the aspirn where
it's like, we don't know why this is the rule.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Your child is a headache. I'm going to give you
totally and I trust you to make that decision on
your own. Yes, okay. When she handed me the printed pictures.
I saw images of him, a dumpy, middle aged man
in states of getting nude in an empty classroom. The
pictures went into a package she kept in her desk. Okay, weird.
She instructed me to print samples from his film whenever
(06:44):
he came in. Sometimes his wife would drop off the film.
Then one fateful day, he brought in a role that
included a girl elementary age sitting at a school desk
looking down writing seemingly and I hope honestly unaware that
he was several rose back behind her with his pants
around his ankles. My badass twenty year old boss printed
(07:06):
every frame on that role. Then she called the FBI,
and after that our district manager, Yes Lisa.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Lisa was like, I'm not messing with the local cop. No,
this is a federal case.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I have them on speed Dialuck, I've never seen that
kind of calm. Sure, get this shit dealt with self
confidence before. He and his wife who held the camera,
who held the camera, so they were doing it together.
I didn't see that. We're arrested and went to jail.
He lost his teaching license. I don't know where Lisa
(07:39):
is now, but I'm sure she's doing good. Bet you.
Thank you for reading Heather.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Especially in a time like this. We we are now
just up to our eyeballs in this nightmare Epstein file bullshit,
which is like just this kind of stuff that's been
like brushed under the carpet and heading away for years. Yep, yeah,
made smaller whatever. It's just like Lisa's been fighting the
good fight totally since eighty nine.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I mean that's yeah. Come on, tell us your stories
about the older kid that you knew that was a
fucking badass, that gave you the courage to also be
a badass.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yes, right, your example, your example like lateeen, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
My favorite murder at Gmail. Yeah, goodnue, And send them in.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Literally, I thought you were like, do you have Epstein stories?
Just send us.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
That's not funny.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
That's not funny at all, And that's how we do
things over here.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Send those to the FBI call in.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Okay, I'm not going to read you the subject line
it says, hello, badass MFM podcast family. I grew up
in the same house that my mother was raised in,
which was built by my great grandfather after they emigrated
from Italy in the nineteen forties. Come on, abundanza.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Sorry, Leana, every time you say Italy, you have to
touch the italy, do.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
It, lily? Okay. My grandmother purchased it from her parents
and eventually sold it to my mother when I was
maybe twelve. At that point, my grandmother moved upstairs and
my parents commissioned Hella construction to make sure I missed
that first time. Hella construction to make sure that she
(09:20):
was comfortable in what would become a finished mother daughter apartment.
Because I was twelve and my parents wanted to make
me feel better about the whole move, they promised to
renovate one of the bedrooms for me too, which involved
knocking out a wall and building out the foundation of
the house. The whole bedroom ended up being larger than
my first studio apartment. Jesus nice. Here's the thing. My
great grandfather was in cement. His son, my great uncle,
(09:45):
followed suit more or less in the cement business.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I know.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Sorry, I buried under the house in cement.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I actually wasn't sure.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
I had to in cement contact.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Okay, okay, my mother said, with quotes around Yea, So
here we go. My mother said that when she was
a kid Uncle Charlie would come to the house at
all sorts of weird hours with weird people and weird things.
One of her more memorable stories involved him showing up
just before their bedtime with a life size statue of
Saint Jude, which he took from a church that was
being renovated because they were throwing it up. Saint Jude
(10:19):
still lives in my parents' basement because everyone's afraid it's
the only thing bringing good juju into the house at
this point, a full size statue, I don't think you
can throw away, like, no, thank your reliquary unless it
thank you right. Sorry, I really had to bust that
one out. God, it's so rare that a word comes
into my head anymore.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
That one really was good waiting holding onto that. I've
never even heard that word, that's how good it was.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Oh, I'm so proud of my fucked up brain. Okay, yeah,
I don't think they'd just throw out statues because they're
redoing the place. Yeah, this style has been pretty similar
since about fifteen ninety. I would guess. Okay, my parents'
basement is still a treasure trove of what the fuck?
Because my grandmother was a hoarder, and it's taken more
than five years to clear out all her stuff. My
(11:06):
grandmother's second husband collected guns, and they knew my grandmother
had held onto an antique pearl handled pistol, but these
weren't pretty collectibles. That particular closet backs up to the attic,
which is accessible through a creepy little door in the
back wall, and something told my parents to investigate further. Well.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
After a week end of deep diving through support beams
and insulation, they found upwards of a dozen firearms hidden
in the attic, including models that are very illegal to own.
They have no idea how long they'd been there, who
originally own them, or why my grandmother.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Was hiding them. But that's not the story I'm really
emailing about. What Yeah, sorry, not talking about that. It
says several years later, I was visiting my parents for
a weekend and we were sitting around the table after
lunch talking about some weird dreams we'd had. My mother
made a reference to the hidden attic guns, saying she
felt like there was an another gun hidden somewhere and
(12:01):
dreamed about it often. In her dreams. It was buried
in the backyard or sometimes the side garden. She said
something about the cement used to pour the walkway, and
my dad's face went totally white. He was noticeably uncomfortable,
and when we asked what was wrong, he just asked,
if I break a promise to someone who's dead, will
they come back and haunt you. My dad has always
(12:23):
been a pretty straightforward guy. My mother's family is old
school Italian superstitious, but my dad not so much so
old school Italian suing, so this was kind of a
weird question to ask at the lunch table. At this point,
all the alarm bells in my mother's head are going off,
and she demands to know what he's talking about. After
a few minutes of sweating and dodging questions, he tells
(12:45):
us this story. When my parents were building the addition
to the house, they hired a friend of my great
uncles to do the construction. The plan was to build
a new living room where the concrete porch used to be,
but when they went to dig it up, they found
it went down way further than was structurally necessary and
decided the best idea was just to use that as
the foundation. That meant matching the depth. When they poured
(13:08):
the foundation for my new bedroom. The morning they scheduled
the concrete pour, my grandmother called my dad upstairs and
handled him a bundle of sheets. Give this to the guys.
She told him they'll know what to do with it,
and whatever you do, don't tell your wife. My dad
did as he was told and handed the bundle to
my great uncle's friend, who unwrapped it just enough to
see the handgun inside and just gave it a nod
(13:30):
before setting it into the cement.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
So aside from finding out that my childhood bedroom was
built over a hidden handgun, we also realized that if
my grandmother had been cool with hiding some dozen guns
in the attic, this particular gun must have been responsible
for some atrocious shit. If it needed to be hidden
forever in a foundation, it was hot, it was hot,
and potentially connected to it international murder mafia. Gotta say,
(13:58):
if I'm ever in trouble, I'm going to my dad
for help, because he immediately forgot all about the incident
and was never even tempted to tell my mother until
that exact day when she had had the dream that
there was a gun somewhere on the pop room if
this ends up getting read on a miniso, thanks for
sharing in my ruined childhood. Stay sexy and don't get murdered. Faith. Wow, Faith,
(14:19):
that's a very sopranos email.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
It's a meadow.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
It could be send signed Meadow your friend Meadow.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Okay, my mom fucked politeness at the laundromat. Hey, y'all,
that's all I have in me, So that's all I
have in me for an intro, So let's jump in.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Sounds good there.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
When I was in middle school, my parents were remodeling
our house and we didn't have a laundry room for
over a year and had to do all of our
laundry at the local laundromats. I always went with my
mom to hang out for a few hours while the
clothes washed and dried. All the other customers were always kind,
usually women and kids hanging out. One day, while we
were loading up the laundry and supplies into the back
(14:56):
of the vehicle, a man stopped my mom. He had
been sitting outside in the Alabama heat the whole time
we were there. I didn't stop and went to sit
in the car, but I heard him ask her for
a ride to a local motel. I heard my mom say, sir,
you know I can't do that, and shot her eyes
over to me. Next I knew my mom was at
my door telling me to shut it and lock it.
(15:18):
I was being a bratty teen and said no because
it was hot and she hadn't started the car yet,
just like leaning with the door open. She said, through
gritted teeth, shut the door. Now. I probably rolled my
eyes and crossed my arms after shutting the door because
I was and then dramatic. She was a little upset
with me when she got in, but then we drove
(15:39):
home like normal. When we got home, my mom told
my dad about the conversation with the man, including the
parts I didn't see. The man had lifted his shirt
to show a gun in his waistband and told her
that he would keep us safe. So I can't drive you.
I'm scared. I'll keep you safe. I'll keep don't have
a gun, I'll keep you safe.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
It's me, the strange man would the gun. I'll keep
it in my waistband. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
After she told the man no again, he threw his
flip phone at the brick wall of the laundromat in anger.
She also told my dad about how I wouldn't shut
the door, and he got upset with me too. But
as a parent myself, now I understand their reactions were
out of fear. Safe to say, our washer dryer were
installed that week and we never went back to the
laundromat again. I'll never know what intentions that man had,
(16:26):
but I'm glad my mom fucked politeness and kept us safe.
She is such a strong woman, and I hope I
am showing my kids a fraction of the strength and
determination she has. Her name is Tara pronounced Tara, Stay
sexy and shut the car door when your mom asks.
Ambria pronounced Ambria. Oh nice, read that name before. It's
pretty Feel free to use my name. Love you guys
(16:47):
and all that you do.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Ambria. Here's what I love that you're like. I understand
that she was saying that to me out of fear.
It's like, do you understand that you need to be
a team player? And if the person that knows more
than you and is smarter than you and been around
so much longer than you comes up and tells you
to do a thing the door with a certain kind
of energy, maybe focus on that.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Teens have no clue they're like equally the best people
in the world and the worst people in the world
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I mean it's not fair in a lot of ways
because you're the youngest old person, so you're the dumbest
old person, right Usually, Yeah, but in those situations where
it's just like.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I just wish she had done a full like I
should have listened to my mom the first time and
had some spatial awareness. Instead, it's like I understand she
was working out of fear. Like there was that guy.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Okay, I love yelling, so you know we're talking about. Hey,
sometimes it's the kid's fault. Okay, sometimes it's the parent's fault. Okay,
as we well know, I'm not going to read you
the subject line. It just says, hi, fellow murder loving people. Again,
we don't love murder.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It was summer of two thousand and five and I
was eight years old when we took a family vacation
Tea and San Francisco. While in San fran we got
a boat tour that took us past Alcatraz and to
some other island close by. What is that Marin Treasure Island.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, well, it depends on where they were going. I
don't remember there being a two island stop for the
Alcatraz tour, but I haven't been there Alcatraz too.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
It's smaller and hipper, and there's a disco. There's an
amazing night life on Alcatraz two. Okay. My dad was
really nervous that I was going to get seasick, so
he gave me three dramamine and we bordered the boat.
Turns out that the serving size of dramamine for an
eight year old is half a pill, so I was
knocked the fuck out. My dad happens to be a fireman,
(18:44):
Oh my god, and it says he's retired. No, this
is so classic. So he walked around the island Alcatraz
with my sleeping eight year old body thrown over his
shoulder in a fireman's carry. So can I just stop
here to tell you this? And this is the most
villaged dad life thing I will ever tell you, which
is that at night when we were little, my dad,
(19:07):
you could do the fireman's carry, You could do sack
of potatoes, or you could ride a horse to bed.
Those are the three ways we got carried to bed.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
And you gotta pick which one.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah, that's so cute. So fireman's you're just bent over
his shoulder, your stomach a little bit. Yeah, it's not
that fun sack of potatoes. He's holding you by your ankles.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
And you're behind Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
But then the horse. You got on on back and
put your hand over his mouth to feed the horse,
and he ran down the hallway and threw you on
the bed.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Can you do it? Can I have that?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
I mean no, he can only do it verbally fun times.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
That's all.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
The physical isn't there with him anymore. But it was.
Laura and I talk about it sometimes we're like, that
might be the greatest privilege.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, having a firefighter dad, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
So that's I think this one gets me, especially because
he just basically like every fireman's like, we're just going
to solve this problem. Just fucking here.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Next time Vince's brother is in town, I'm gonna ask
him to carry me like a secota.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
You could do. I'll take second tails or a horse, right, okay.
So he would occasionally stop and wake me up to
eat ice cream and drink water with my eyes closed.
My mom and brother took normal pictures and occasionally included me.
Weekend of Bernie's steyle.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
You a picture I could see of a picture. Oh
my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
It's the best picture too. The only thing that I
actually remember about that day is waking up on a
park bench next to a dog wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Oh she's awaken it. Oh my god, that's her way.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
She woke up. At the end of all that was like, Hey,
that is yes I've ever seen Wow.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Also, my dad swears he didn't accidentally drug me, and
that I was just super tired from camping in Yosemite
the week prior. Like, yeah, cheers to the dads that
keep our lives interesting and create great memories, even if
they're only remembered in photographs. Also, I just completed my
advanced certificate in crime andalysis. I also that girl digester
(21:03):
from the park bench. I also have my bachelor's degree
in textile science, and I'm hoping to end up in
some sort of crime scene analysis textile forensic science situation.
Someone once told me that at the FBI, it is
someone's job to go up to crime scenes and analyze
duct tape and plastic bags that were used in crimes.
So maybe that cheers to unique career paths and Thank
(21:24):
you guys for being such great advocates for these victims
and their families. You're both part of the reason why
I decided to go back to school and the hopes
of using my niche knowledge on textiles and other materials
in order to help find evidence and build a case
and then advocate and fight for those who no longer
can and bring justice to them and their loved ones.
Oh my god, stay sexy and always remember to buy
(21:46):
the non drowsy meds and then call your dad. Xoxo, Lizzy, Ah, Lizzy,
isn't that the best?
Speaker 1 (21:53):
That's the best? How am I going to fall? Okay?
I have one more?
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Do you have a dog in sunglasses at the end? No?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
And that dog you can all. He's a private investigator too, right.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
That dog knows more than he's He's actually undercover as
a stoner.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Okay, this is an inheritance of trash parenting. Hello, you're
all great, let's go. I said in a story about
the time my dad discovered I was scared of his
basement and decided that telling me there was a man
with machetes down there would be the best way to
make me not scared.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
That's why we didn't read that email is because that's
just child abuse.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
It's as it kind of worked. From then on, he
signed all of my Christmas and Birthday presents in shaky
handwriting from the man in the basement with the machetes.
I don't get it. Felt like it was a joke,
but I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
It's not that funny. It's kind of hilarious. It's the
the horror of like there's just so many people loose
with children making these independent decisions.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I'm going to pretend like he said it in a
like hilarious way, like, Oh, don't worry about the basement,
it's just a man.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Maybe, Like the trying to follow it up with funny
jokes is like I really scared her that one time,
and now I'm really trying to lighten the right, lighten
the mood.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Who knows. I bring this up to excuse one of
my trash parenting moments in my early thirties, I took
my four young children Jesus two Astoria, Oregon, because there
was a tartist in an arcade and they loved Doctor Who.
While there, I desperately wanted to look at some of
the downtown art galleries, so gathered my children and inform
them all that we were going to look with our eyes,
(23:28):
not with our hands. It doesn't work because the shopkeepers
have machetes under the counter to chop off the hands
of people who touch the art in her devents. Four
fucking kids.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
By any means necessary. First of all, but I'm so sorry.
I just didn't think it was going to loop around
like that.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
We go into the first shop and my four year
old walks right up to the older woman working there
and asks her if she has a machete.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
The woman look.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Confused and asked, why would I have a machete, sweetie.
My daughter looked directly into the woman's eyes and made
a chopping motion with her hand to her other arm.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
The woman looked horrified. A four year old I felt
my face go bright right with shame. My ten year
old daughter rushed forward and said, we're okay. Our family
just has a dark sense of humor. Then she steered
us all out of the gallery. We spent the rest
of the time outside until we went home. I asked
my children if they remember this, and none of them did,
(24:30):
but they all got a good laugh. Stay sexy and
don't resort to baseless machete threats to get your children
to act right or do cow.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Because they work so well, Kel, you gotta admit it solightful.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
In ten years, we're going to get an email from
the ten year old who's a parent who says they
used it and it didn't go well.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
The ten year old is going to be like a
world class artist, or it's like, have you seen my
machete sculptures? This was my I just love machette. I
love them and this was an inspirational day. Mmmm.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Okay everyone, I think that like people who are watching
on Netflix maybe don't know what we're doing when we
should have maybe said it earlier. But send us your
any kind of story that you have that you think
fits with the true crime comedy weird podcast to my
favorite murder at Gmail.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yeah, I mean it's kind of explained, but it's like
it's just mail bag. So yeah, we very early on
heard back from our audience so much about so many things.
We're like, let's get this out there.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah, we needed an episode just for your stories, so
we did that.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
So join us.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yeah, and stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye, Elvis.
Do you want a cookie?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer
is Tessa Hughes.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
This episode was mixed by Leona Squalacci.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and
the remind Me buttons. That's the best way you can
support our show. Goodbye,
Hello and welcome my favorite murder the miniso to read
you the stories that you send us, and I keep.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Air drying my hair. So what you're hearing now it
sounds so smooth and silky, but what you're seeing.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Or a mess. But this is the chill episode. I
feel like this is the easy like lightlift episode.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Is this the clean girl makeup episode?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
No, I've been like hometowns just feel like, do we
have to be so perfect all the time, not like
in the regular episodes where we're.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Where it's on it eh, caroling it. This is a
nice concise one to kick it off. The subject line
is classic hometown and badass Grandpa, and it says it
just goes right into it. My grandpa Ray was and
I'll always will be a total badass and my hero
Ray Boom. I could write stories for days, But my
favorite was the time that he casually told me he
(01:08):
spent part of his childhood alongside an infamous killer. Grandpa
grew up in the holler of Brush Mountain in Blacksburg, Virginia,
where I was born and raised. He once told me
about a boy who lived up the same road in quotes,
a different fella, he said, who had a glass eye.
The boy's mama was a sex worker, and his daddy.
I bet that's not how her Grandpa said.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
He did not use those words.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
The boy's mama was a sex worker and his daddy
didn't have any legs. Grandpa added, almost as an afterthought,
that the fellow went on to kill women out west
and confessed to many other murders. I immediately called bullshit
on Grandpa. That's when my mom chimed in, No, it's true.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Grandpa grew up alongside Henry Lee Lucas, the confession killer.
Holy shit, Henry Lee Lucas was his neighborhood kid.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Noo. Grandpa ra to wait ten years ago, but I
treasure the twenty six years I got to spend with
him and the many stories he shared. I would love
to hear Grandpa wrote holler stories, absolutely, especially that one
in particular. Sure, stay sexy, and don't be too quick
to call bullshit on Grandpa, Amy and.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Immediate bullshit on Grandpa like I would never have the
gualt called bullshit on a grandpa.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
That's how these kids are these days, true, these gen
z ers, that's right, they yearn for justice.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay, this is called one hour Photo for good. If
you're actually reading this, I am so grateful to this
podcast and everyone who makes it happen. I have been
a listener since twenty sixteen. Hey, your podcast talked me
off the ledge the morning after the election that year.
Can you believe we thought that was the worst that
could happen.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
You've been my friends and traveling companions through so much,
giving me laughter, through breast cancer, divorce, pet loss and
empty nest, and so much more. I appreciate you, ladies,
and count you as sisters. Oh my god, No, but
I want to tell you about something that happened when
I was nineteen. It was nineteen eighty nine and I
had dropped out of college. Concerned about my well being.
(03:09):
My older brother invited me to move from my home
state of Kentucky down to League City, Texas.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Big baseball town, a lot of league, a lot of
baseball leagues, a lot of leagues, measurements under the seat,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
That is a whole nother story. I quickly got a
job at a one hour photo lab in friends would
Texas just up the inner state one exit. My sister
worked at a one hour photo place when she was
in high school at she saw some shit. Awesome, Yeah,
we all saw. We all got to see some shits.
It was a busy one hour lab and a big mall.
There were regulars with rolls of film chronicling their lives.
(03:45):
Do you remember disc cameras in stematics. These took terrible pictures?
Yeah they did, did they?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Me and my sister got them for Christmas one year
from Aunt Mannon and they came in this big It
was almost like an unboxing box. It came in this
big box. It was such a big deal presentation, but
it felt like they were cameras made for to give
kids a camera and be like, here, go take some pictures.
And that's what all.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Everything was like from a down here perspective, like downward
going up right? Yeah? This okay? These two terrible pictures.
But then there was the thirty five millimeter film in
twelve twenty four or thirty six frame rolls. Oh I
should know that my sister's now a photographer.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I was going to say, did Lee learn it at
the photo development line?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Since high school? She's been doing it. Oh yeah, she's dedicated. Okay.
Most people got single or double prints, except for a
regular customer who came in about once a week dropped
off a role for film processing. Only he would be
back on the hour to pick up the film. He
asked us to keep the whole role intact, placed in
a special clear plastic sleeve, then rolled, and then put
(04:46):
back into the paper bag. So I feel like we
need to explain to some children that are listening.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Oh yeah, instead of.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Getting the film developed into actual photos, you would just
get them turned into film so you could go home
in your own dark room and develop them yourself. Yeah,
meaning no one would see the film at the one
hour photostore. See, I didn't know that. I'm learning with
the children. Okay, I didn't realize that was like getting
a thing to then go home and do it himself
instead of Yeah, He's like, you have to take the
(05:15):
first two steps for me because I don't have like
the chemicals or something. Sure, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Okay, that's all I know. All he's saying is what's
happening on this film is illegal.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Totally, and I don't look at it.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
My boss, a no nonsense native Texan a year older
than me named Lisa, stopped me the first time I
processed a role of his film. She took the role,
looked at it on the light table, quickly printed a
few frames. The date was automatically printed on the back
of each print. The pictures would go through the machine
in a long strip, coming down a conveyor belt to
(05:45):
be packaged that people in the mall could watch the
stream of images. She covered the conveyor when his went through. Oh,
she's going clandestine.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Lisa knows exactly what's happening here, and she's going to
do something about it.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I love this one because I remember every single old
like boss or coworker I had from when I was
stupid at nineteen sure instead of stupid and forty five
that like taught me so much about life. They were
like so no nonsense.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yes. Well, also because they were the holders and like
they were the rule followers, as the example, so when
they were breaking rules, you were like, wait, what's happening now,
Like the waitress had passed my mom the aspirn where
it's like, we don't know why this is the rule.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Your child is a headache. I'm going to give you
totally and I trust you to make that decision on
your own. Yes, okay. When she handed me the printed pictures.
I saw images of him, a dumpy, middle aged man
in states of getting nude in an empty classroom. The
pictures went into a package she kept in her desk. Okay, weird.
She instructed me to print samples from his film whenever
(06:44):
he came in. Sometimes his wife would drop off the film.
Then one fateful day, he brought in a role that
included a girl elementary age sitting at a school desk
looking down writing seemingly and I hope honestly unaware that
he was several rose back behind her with his pants
around his ankles. My badass twenty year old boss printed
(07:06):
every frame on that role. Then she called the FBI,
and after that our district manager, Yes Lisa.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Lisa was like, I'm not messing with the local cop. No,
this is a federal case.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I have them on speed Dialuck, I've never seen that
kind of calm. Sure, get this shit dealt with self
confidence before. He and his wife who held the camera,
who held the camera, so they were doing it together.
I didn't see that. We're arrested and went to jail.
He lost his teaching license. I don't know where Lisa
(07:39):
is now, but I'm sure she's doing good. Bet you.
Thank you for reading Heather.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Especially in a time like this. We we are now
just up to our eyeballs in this nightmare Epstein file bullshit,
which is like just this kind of stuff that's been
like brushed under the carpet and heading away for years. Yep, yeah,
made smaller whatever. It's just like Lisa's been fighting the
good fight totally since eighty nine.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I mean that's yeah. Come on, tell us your stories
about the older kid that you knew that was a
fucking badass, that gave you the courage to also be
a badass.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yes, right, your example, your example like lateeen, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
My favorite murder at Gmail. Yeah, goodnue, And send them in.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Literally, I thought you were like, do you have Epstein stories?
Just send us.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
That's not funny.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
That's not funny at all, And that's how we do
things over here.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Send those to the FBI call in.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Okay, I'm not going to read you the subject line
it says, hello, badass MFM podcast family. I grew up
in the same house that my mother was raised in,
which was built by my great grandfather after they emigrated
from Italy in the nineteen forties. Come on, abundanza.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Sorry, Leana, every time you say Italy, you have to
touch the italy, do.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
It, lily? Okay. My grandmother purchased it from her parents
and eventually sold it to my mother when I was
maybe twelve. At that point, my grandmother moved upstairs and
my parents commissioned Hella construction to make sure I missed
that first time. Hella construction to make sure that she
(09:20):
was comfortable in what would become a finished mother daughter apartment.
Because I was twelve and my parents wanted to make
me feel better about the whole move, they promised to
renovate one of the bedrooms for me too, which involved
knocking out a wall and building out the foundation of
the house. The whole bedroom ended up being larger than
my first studio apartment. Jesus nice. Here's the thing. My
great grandfather was in cement. His son, my great uncle,
(09:45):
followed suit more or less in the cement business.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I know.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Sorry, I buried under the house in cement.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
I actually wasn't sure.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
I had to in cement contact.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Okay, okay, my mother said, with quotes around Yea, So
here we go. My mother said that when she was
a kid Uncle Charlie would come to the house at
all sorts of weird hours with weird people and weird things.
One of her more memorable stories involved him showing up
just before their bedtime with a life size statue of
Saint Jude, which he took from a church that was
being renovated because they were throwing it up. Saint Jude
(10:19):
still lives in my parents' basement because everyone's afraid it's
the only thing bringing good juju into the house at
this point, a full size statue, I don't think you
can throw away, like, no, thank your reliquary unless it
thank you right. Sorry, I really had to bust that
one out. God, it's so rare that a word comes
into my head anymore.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
That one really was good waiting holding onto that. I've
never even heard that word, that's how good it was.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Oh, I'm so proud of my fucked up brain. Okay, yeah,
I don't think they'd just throw out statues because they're
redoing the place. Yeah, this style has been pretty similar
since about fifteen ninety. I would guess. Okay, my parents'
basement is still a treasure trove of what the fuck?
Because my grandmother was a hoarder, and it's taken more
than five years to clear out all her stuff. My
(11:06):
grandmother's second husband collected guns, and they knew my grandmother
had held onto an antique pearl handled pistol, but these
weren't pretty collectibles. That particular closet backs up to the attic,
which is accessible through a creepy little door in the
back wall, and something told my parents to investigate further. Well.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
After a week end of deep diving through support beams
and insulation, they found upwards of a dozen firearms hidden
in the attic, including models that are very illegal to own.
They have no idea how long they'd been there, who
originally own them, or why my grandmother.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Was hiding them. But that's not the story I'm really
emailing about. What Yeah, sorry, not talking about that. It
says several years later, I was visiting my parents for
a weekend and we were sitting around the table after
lunch talking about some weird dreams we'd had. My mother
made a reference to the hidden attic guns, saying she
felt like there was an another gun hidden somewhere and
(12:01):
dreamed about it often. In her dreams. It was buried
in the backyard or sometimes the side garden. She said
something about the cement used to pour the walkway, and
my dad's face went totally white. He was noticeably uncomfortable,
and when we asked what was wrong, he just asked,
if I break a promise to someone who's dead, will
they come back and haunt you. My dad has always
(12:23):
been a pretty straightforward guy. My mother's family is old
school Italian superstitious, but my dad not so much so
old school Italian suing, so this was kind of a
weird question to ask at the lunch table. At this point,
all the alarm bells in my mother's head are going off,
and she demands to know what he's talking about. After
a few minutes of sweating and dodging questions, he tells
(12:45):
us this story. When my parents were building the addition
to the house, they hired a friend of my great
uncles to do the construction. The plan was to build
a new living room where the concrete porch used to be,
but when they went to dig it up, they found
it went down way further than was structurally necessary and
decided the best idea was just to use that as
the foundation. That meant matching the depth. When they poured
(13:08):
the foundation for my new bedroom. The morning they scheduled
the concrete pour, my grandmother called my dad upstairs and
handled him a bundle of sheets. Give this to the guys.
She told him they'll know what to do with it,
and whatever you do, don't tell your wife. My dad
did as he was told and handed the bundle to
my great uncle's friend, who unwrapped it just enough to
see the handgun inside and just gave it a nod
(13:30):
before setting it into the cement.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
So aside from finding out that my childhood bedroom was
built over a hidden handgun, we also realized that if
my grandmother had been cool with hiding some dozen guns
in the attic, this particular gun must have been responsible
for some atrocious shit. If it needed to be hidden
forever in a foundation, it was hot, it was hot,
and potentially connected to it international murder mafia. Gotta say,
(13:58):
if I'm ever in trouble, I'm going to my dad
for help, because he immediately forgot all about the incident
and was never even tempted to tell my mother until
that exact day when she had had the dream that
there was a gun somewhere on the pop room if
this ends up getting read on a miniso, thanks for
sharing in my ruined childhood. Stay sexy and don't get murdered. Faith. Wow, Faith,
(14:19):
that's a very sopranos email.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
It's a meadow.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
It could be send signed Meadow your friend Meadow.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Okay, my mom fucked politeness at the laundromat. Hey, y'all,
that's all I have in me, So that's all I
have in me for an intro, So let's jump in.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Sounds good there.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
When I was in middle school, my parents were remodeling
our house and we didn't have a laundry room for
over a year and had to do all of our
laundry at the local laundromats. I always went with my
mom to hang out for a few hours while the
clothes washed and dried. All the other customers were always kind,
usually women and kids hanging out. One day, while we
were loading up the laundry and supplies into the back
(14:56):
of the vehicle, a man stopped my mom. He had
been sitting outside in the Alabama heat the whole time
we were there. I didn't stop and went to sit
in the car, but I heard him ask her for
a ride to a local motel. I heard my mom say, sir,
you know I can't do that, and shot her eyes
over to me. Next I knew my mom was at
my door telling me to shut it and lock it.
(15:18):
I was being a bratty teen and said no because
it was hot and she hadn't started the car yet,
just like leaning with the door open. She said, through
gritted teeth, shut the door. Now. I probably rolled my
eyes and crossed my arms after shutting the door because
I was and then dramatic. She was a little upset
with me when she got in, but then we drove
(15:39):
home like normal. When we got home, my mom told
my dad about the conversation with the man, including the
parts I didn't see. The man had lifted his shirt
to show a gun in his waistband and told her
that he would keep us safe. So I can't drive you.
I'm scared. I'll keep you safe. I'll keep don't have
a gun, I'll keep you safe.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
It's me, the strange man would the gun. I'll keep
it in my waistband. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
After she told the man no again, he threw his
flip phone at the brick wall of the laundromat in anger.
She also told my dad about how I wouldn't shut
the door, and he got upset with me too. But
as a parent myself, now I understand their reactions were
out of fear. Safe to say, our washer dryer were
installed that week and we never went back to the
laundromat again. I'll never know what intentions that man had,
(16:26):
but I'm glad my mom fucked politeness and kept us safe.
She is such a strong woman, and I hope I
am showing my kids a fraction of the strength and
determination she has. Her name is Tara pronounced Tara, Stay
sexy and shut the car door when your mom asks.
Ambria pronounced Ambria. Oh nice, read that name before. It's
pretty Feel free to use my name. Love you guys
(16:47):
and all that you do.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Ambria. Here's what I love that you're like. I understand
that she was saying that to me out of fear.
It's like, do you understand that you need to be
a team player? And if the person that knows more
than you and is smarter than you and been around
so much longer than you comes up and tells you
to do a thing the door with a certain kind
of energy, maybe focus on that.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Teens have no clue they're like equally the best people
in the world and the worst people in the world
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I mean it's not fair in a lot of ways
because you're the youngest old person, so you're the dumbest
old person, right Usually, Yeah, but in those situations where
it's just like.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I just wish she had done a full like I
should have listened to my mom the first time and
had some spatial awareness. Instead, it's like I understand she
was working out of fear. Like there was that guy.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Okay, I love yelling, so you know we're talking about. Hey,
sometimes it's the kid's fault. Okay, sometimes it's the parent's fault. Okay,
as we well know, I'm not going to read you
the subject line. It just says, hi, fellow murder loving people. Again,
we don't love murder.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It was summer of two thousand and five and I
was eight years old when we took a family vacation
Tea and San Francisco. While in San fran we got
a boat tour that took us past Alcatraz and to
some other island close by. What is that Marin Treasure Island.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, well, it depends on where they were going. I
don't remember there being a two island stop for the
Alcatraz tour, but I haven't been there Alcatraz too.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
It's smaller and hipper, and there's a disco. There's an
amazing night life on Alcatraz two. Okay. My dad was
really nervous that I was going to get seasick, so
he gave me three dramamine and we bordered the boat.
Turns out that the serving size of dramamine for an
eight year old is half a pill, so I was
knocked the fuck out. My dad happens to be a fireman,
(18:44):
Oh my god, and it says he's retired. No, this
is so classic. So he walked around the island Alcatraz
with my sleeping eight year old body thrown over his
shoulder in a fireman's carry. So can I just stop
here to tell you this? And this is the most
villaged dad life thing I will ever tell you, which
is that at night when we were little, my dad,
(19:07):
you could do the fireman's carry, You could do sack
of potatoes, or you could ride a horse to bed.
Those are the three ways we got carried to bed.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
And you gotta pick which one.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah, that's so cute. So fireman's you're just bent over
his shoulder, your stomach a little bit. Yeah, it's not
that fun sack of potatoes. He's holding you by your ankles.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
And you're behind Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
But then the horse. You got on on back and
put your hand over his mouth to feed the horse,
and he ran down the hallway and threw you on
the bed.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Can you do it? Can I have that?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
I mean no, he can only do it verbally fun times.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
That's all.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
The physical isn't there with him anymore. But it was.
Laura and I talk about it sometimes we're like, that
might be the greatest privilege.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, having a firefighter dad, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
So that's I think this one gets me, especially because
he just basically like every fireman's like, we're just going
to solve this problem. Just fucking here.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Next time Vince's brother is in town, I'm gonna ask
him to carry me like a secota.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
You could do. I'll take second tails or a horse, right, okay.
So he would occasionally stop and wake me up to
eat ice cream and drink water with my eyes closed.
My mom and brother took normal pictures and occasionally included me.
Weekend of Bernie's steyle.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
You a picture I could see of a picture. Oh
my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
It's the best picture too. The only thing that I
actually remember about that day is waking up on a
park bench next to a dog wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Oh she's awaken it. Oh my god, that's her way.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
She woke up. At the end of all that was like, Hey,
that is yes I've ever seen Wow.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Also, my dad swears he didn't accidentally drug me, and
that I was just super tired from camping in Yosemite
the week prior. Like, yeah, cheers to the dads that
keep our lives interesting and create great memories, even if
they're only remembered in photographs. Also, I just completed my
advanced certificate in crime andalysis. I also that girl digester
(21:03):
from the park bench. I also have my bachelor's degree
in textile science, and I'm hoping to end up in
some sort of crime scene analysis textile forensic science situation.
Someone once told me that at the FBI, it is
someone's job to go up to crime scenes and analyze
duct tape and plastic bags that were used in crimes.
So maybe that cheers to unique career paths and Thank
(21:24):
you guys for being such great advocates for these victims
and their families. You're both part of the reason why
I decided to go back to school and the hopes
of using my niche knowledge on textiles and other materials
in order to help find evidence and build a case
and then advocate and fight for those who no longer
can and bring justice to them and their loved ones.
Oh my god, stay sexy and always remember to buy
(21:46):
the non drowsy meds and then call your dad. Xoxo, Lizzy, Ah, Lizzy,
isn't that the best?
Speaker 1 (21:53):
That's the best? How am I going to fall? Okay?
I have one more?
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Do you have a dog in sunglasses at the end? No?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
And that dog you can all. He's a private investigator too, right.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
That dog knows more than he's He's actually undercover as
a stoner.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Okay, this is an inheritance of trash parenting. Hello, you're
all great, let's go. I said in a story about
the time my dad discovered I was scared of his
basement and decided that telling me there was a man
with machetes down there would be the best way to
make me not scared.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
That's why we didn't read that email is because that's
just child abuse.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
It's as it kind of worked. From then on, he
signed all of my Christmas and Birthday presents in shaky
handwriting from the man in the basement with the machetes.
I don't get it. Felt like it was a joke,
but I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
It's not that funny. It's kind of hilarious. It's the
the horror of like there's just so many people loose
with children making these independent decisions.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I'm going to pretend like he said it in a
like hilarious way, like, Oh, don't worry about the basement,
it's just a man.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Maybe, Like the trying to follow it up with funny
jokes is like I really scared her that one time,
and now I'm really trying to lighten the right, lighten
the mood.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Who knows. I bring this up to excuse one of
my trash parenting moments in my early thirties, I took
my four young children Jesus two Astoria, Oregon, because there
was a tartist in an arcade and they loved Doctor Who.
While there, I desperately wanted to look at some of
the downtown art galleries, so gathered my children and inform
them all that we were going to look with our eyes,
(23:28):
not with our hands. It doesn't work because the shopkeepers
have machetes under the counter to chop off the hands
of people who touch the art in her devents. Four
fucking kids.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
By any means necessary. First of all, but I'm so sorry.
I just didn't think it was going to loop around
like that.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
We go into the first shop and my four year
old walks right up to the older woman working there
and asks her if she has a machete.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
The woman look.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Confused and asked, why would I have a machete, sweetie.
My daughter looked directly into the woman's eyes and made
a chopping motion with her hand to her other arm.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
The woman looked horrified. A four year old I felt
my face go bright right with shame. My ten year
old daughter rushed forward and said, we're okay. Our family
just has a dark sense of humor. Then she steered
us all out of the gallery. We spent the rest
of the time outside until we went home. I asked
my children if they remember this, and none of them did,
(24:30):
but they all got a good laugh. Stay sexy and
don't resort to baseless machete threats to get your children
to act right or do cow.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Because they work so well, Kel, you gotta admit it solightful.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
In ten years, we're going to get an email from
the ten year old who's a parent who says they
used it and it didn't go well.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
The ten year old is going to be like a
world class artist, or it's like, have you seen my
machete sculptures? This was my I just love machette. I
love them and this was an inspirational day. Mmmm.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Okay everyone, I think that like people who are watching
on Netflix maybe don't know what we're doing when we
should have maybe said it earlier. But send us your
any kind of story that you have that you think
fits with the true crime comedy weird podcast to my
favorite murder at Gmail.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yeah, I mean it's kind of explained, but it's like
it's just mail bag. So yeah, we very early on
heard back from our audience so much about so many things.
We're like, let's get this out there.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah, we needed an episode just for your stories, so
we did that.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
So join us.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yeah, and stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye, Elvis.
Do you want a cookie?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer
is Tessa Hughes.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
This episode was mixed by Leona Squalacci.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and
the remind Me buttons. That's the best way you can
support our show. Goodbye,
Hosts And Creators
Georgia Hardstark
Karen Kilgariff
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