June 8, 2026 • 35 mins
This week’s hometowns include a dog breaking into prison and a ’90s money machine.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hello, and Welcome's my favorite murder. That's Georgia hart Stark,
the minisode the minisod. We're both the minisode, but George
is more so the minisod today because today is George's birthday.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
This comes out on my birthday. I will be traveling
through Italy.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Now, do you have enough fancy shoes? Because I'll tell
you what, Yeah, they do not tolerate shitty shoes over there.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I am really nervous about my style and fashion there
because I know that, like especially Milan, Yeah, I'll get stoned.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
No that you know what you'll get is it's the
worst thing of anything. Yeah, it's worse than physical torture.
It's worse than anything. It's just kind of like an
Italian lady. He'll go like this and looked at down
at your shoes. It happened to me on a ferry
and I wanted to jump over the edge.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
But what about my hookahs?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
No, he just looks so terrible. But you know what,
if you bring your vintage clothes, I bet you they'll
go crazy. Okay, because you're wearing outfits and it looks
like you care.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I'm going to fucking dress to impress for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
To do it. Happy Birthday, and I swear to God
not as revenge. I got you something for your birthday
this past weekend, but I was like, oh, this your
birthday episode won't be for a while.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I have your birthday present in my car because I forgot.
This was a miniso, so I'm going to give it
to you on Thursday.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Great. Then that gives me a couple of days to
bring mine in. Okay, what if it's the same thing,
that would be incredible.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Okay, I'm going first, Okay, right, hoy hoy, I'm funny.
I'm a year one listener, not quite day one, but
I am from Western Australia and it always takes us
a while to catch up to the rest of the world.
I work at Fremantle Prison, which is where I'm writing
you from today on my life break. I promise we
(02:01):
don't give a shit. Do your thing, Yeah, get paid
to fucking rite us. Firstly, I would like to acknowledge
the Woodjuck people as the traditional custodians of the land
on which Freemantle Prison is located. I pay my respects
to ancestors and elders both past and present, and the
ongoing connection between people, land, waters and community. I just
listened to your Rewind episode number ninety four where Georgia
(02:23):
covered David and Catherine Bernie fuck one of the Darkest
so bad, and decided it's high time I tell you
about my fascinating and ghastly workplace. Freemantle Prison was built
by convicts in the eighteen fifties and operated as Perth's
maximum security prison until its closure in nineteen ninety one.
Haunted by ninety two, it had been converted into a
(02:45):
tourist site and is now a UNESCO World Heritage Listed Building.
Our main cell block is in fact the largest convict
building in the Southern Hemisphere with an intact roof. Okay,
that's really specific.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
You have to qualify. UNESCO isn't messing around with like
patios and stuff, but.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
A fucking roof got ahead the roof, which goes to
show if you can be specific enough with your categorizations,
you can be the best at something that's right.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
So who's the other one without the roof? Though? That's
really just one of those out courtyard prisons that are
so popular.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You know, those open air prisons.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yees. I think the prison from Papillon was open air
that sounds terrible.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
David Bernie was a prisoner here from the time he
was incarcerated to the prison's closure. As he was at
risk of being harmed by other prisoners, three of the
old death row cells were converted into a private apartment for.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Him, just to keep him inside. Yeah yeah, side note.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
The death penalty was abolished in Western Australia in nineteen
eighty four. The last person to be hanged at Fremantle
Prison was Perth's most infamous serial killer, Eric Edgar Cook,
aka the night Crawler, who went on a four year
killing spree from nineteen fifty eight to sixty three and
was finally executed in nineteen sixty four. How we never
heard of this and done it?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
We must have sure both like looked it up. But
that's so early, yeah for a serial killer.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Totally interesting and purse which is like so far away.
Back to the Bernie's You may think a whole apartment
sounds like a pretty sweet deal for David, but it's
one of the dankest, most smelly, oppressive areas of the prison.
I usually say, if this place is haunted, the ghosts
sure aren't interested in me. But that apartment gives me
the heavy GBS. One of our tour guides had a
(04:33):
boyfriend who lived on the same street as the Bernie's
back in the eighties. She remembers walking alone a sixteen
year old girl to her boyfriend's house, seeing David Bernie
and waving hello, oh, which is like, that's exactly his type. Yeah,
he seemed friendly enough. Thank you for a decade of
your dear voices in my ear holes. If we can
lock in another ten, that would be fab.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Where do we saye?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah SSDGM kat kat.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Thank you for listening for so long from so far
away and telling us about your essentially like a hometown
kind of crossover story.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yeah, and like you work there, so it's cool tell
us about your We like weird workplaces. Yes, we've had
Smithsonian people write in music tiny museums from tiny places
in the world.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah. We also love the post office.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I love thee haunted.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Told a couple post office stories.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I bet the post office is haunted somewhere.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Here's the thing. Everyone's had to work. Everyone's got a
good work story.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Totally.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
What's happened to you at work?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Totally?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Okay. The subject line of this email is random hippie
crashes my mother's college graduation in seventies California. Oh god, right,
I have to pick that one. It says, hey, y'all,
my mom graduated from U SEE Santa Cruz, home of
the fighting banana slugs, in the late nineteen seventies. She
graduated with a bachelor's in biology, continuing the theme of
(05:54):
people on her side of the family studying botan wow,
which I of course ended by majoring in theater down
here in Texas. And then it says I'm smart. I
promise I had her graduation ceremony a local woman who
didn't attend the school, just lived in the area, was
known as the Cosmic Lady. She made her way on
stage to the microphone and told the audience that the
(06:15):
sky lab was falling.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Oh wait wait, sorry, that what that sky lab was.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Falling, which was well, I'll tell you about it in
a second, and if they all concentrated together they could
keep it from falling. A Spanish language professor calmly met
her on stage, walked her down to the audience, and
sat her next to him in the front row, keeping
his arm around her for the remainder of the ceremony
to keep her from ambushing the stage again, and that
man was Paul Onions just kidding, He wasn't. So here's
(06:44):
the explanation. And the reason I know about Skylab so
well is because Skylab was a space station that was
up in the right around nineteen seventy nine.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
It was like a field trip thing for you.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
It was you know what it was. I once played
Liza h in my friend's musical about the last night
of nineteen seventy nine Halston's New Year's Eve party that
they had at the what's the famous disco, oh fifty four, Yeah, studio.
It was called Waiting for a Studio fifty four and
it was like everybody getting together before they go out
for the night. Yeah, and I, as Liza Minelli sang
(07:19):
a song called sky Lab is Falling.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
How are we just hearing about this?
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Well, it's just a generational thing because it was like
a weird It was like the kind of pseudo Haley's
comet accident thing that was happening.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Yeah, I thought you played Liza Minelli. Well, there's been
plenty of times for you to fucking mention.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
That, and now I do the song. No, but this
it's such a weird thing because apparently in real life
because they were all on a lot of coke. Sure
at the time, Liza was obsessed with the fact that
sky Lab was falling and she thought it was going
to fall on her, and it was this weird paranoia.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
She was, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Here's the full explanation, instead of just me talking about
a play I was in once, So me, here's the explanation.
Spot I did a musical. As you may already know,
Skylab was a space station operated by NASA for several
years in the seventies and was the only one they
operated exclusively without foreign companies involved. It did end up
(08:13):
falling in nineteen seventy nine, landing in a remote area
of Australia outside of Perth. The fuck outside of Perth.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
And like we're talking, we're talking about ceilings and buildings,
and now we're talking about you know, the.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Sky meet me on the astral plane. Man. I guess
they didn't concentrate hard enough at this one specific college graduation,
which honestly makes sense. So the woman was basically saying,
if we all focus, we can get this thing not
to fall. And it hadn't falled yet. It was like
in the process they knew and I thought she like, no,
she was like guessing, yeah, no, No, it was like
(08:47):
on the news every.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
She was like, y'all, yes, it's fucking scary.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Get ready because it could fall anywhere. My mom, not
a talented storyteller, just repeats things when my family asks
her for an explanation. I love, Yeah, well, skylab falling
was falling. When somebody invariably asks who the cosmic Lady was,
my mom replies with, you know, the cosmic lady that
would drive me insane. Yeah, as if we were there
(09:11):
in the seventies and forgot about it and are being
little shits about it. My mom is a very straight
least Christian woman who continually surprises me by knowing how
to differentiate by smell different strains of marijuana. She's a mystery.
She's the cosmic lady.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
That's what I like.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
That's what it's Probably her popular came to her graduation. Lady.
If you know pot that, well, the Christianity probably came after, right, Okay,
that's all judgment. My girlfriend got me hooked on listening
to your podcast a year ago, and I'm so glad
she did. Best wishes, Emily.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Emily in the Skylab, I learned something new.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I mean that was that was a real slice of
life right Thereah.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Was everyone freaking out and like terrified.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, especially the people that were on cocaine all the time.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
That was a big part of it. Especially Eliza Minelli.
She's specifically worried about She.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Was specifically worried about it, and it was affecting. She
was on some movie shoot and she wouldn't come out
of her her trailer because she thought Skylab was going
to fall. She just wanted to stay safe for the cocis. Yeah,
fair enough. God, I want to sing this song so
bad right now. Sing it, Guy loves Fallen out of
the clear blue Sky. You have to do the Skylab falling.
(10:24):
It's such a good if. My friend Laura Milligan's musical
Waiting for a Studio fifty four is on YouTube or anything.
I highly recommend.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Are you able to go find it?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Yeah, dude, I'm I'm Liz Minelli. Tom Kenny aka spongeby
Startpants is Halston. No, he's such a good Halston. Doug
Benson is Andy Warhol.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
My friend Laura, who was five feet tall, was Jerry
Hall wearing like a cowboy hat and a big wig,
which was very funny. Paul Tompkins was a Truman Capoti.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Oh yes, of course was who else was in this
fucking let's bring this back.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
It was the most fun, insane, crazy thing I've ever heard,
fever Dream done. It was nuts and everyone had a song.
So she wrote individual songs for everybody about where they were.
Actually she on coke. That's crazy. I mean she has
been at times in her life. Let's not throw her
a little No, she's not ease, that's she's done it
(11:24):
all amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Wow, Okay, I know what I'm googling when I get home.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I mean, I hope it's somewhere because it the last
really episode.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
I told you about being in a fucking mall fashion show.
This week you're telling us about a like we have
more to give.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
There's more to give if we would just try.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
It's so funny because I'll talk about it later. Okay,
stop it, okay, okay. Uh trash Dad story two minute read? Yes,
I timed it. Okay, I promised a two minute read,
so let's get into it. My dad passed away in
October twenty twenty three. This was my kid's first real
experienarans with loss. So to comfort them in times of sadness,
(12:03):
I tell funny stories of Grandpa Dana and his Shenanigans.
One particular story stood out as a trash dad story.
On Wednesdays, we went with my dad, part of the
split custody agreement, same and he would bring us home
after going to eat or whatever single dads come up
with to entertain kids. So much miniature golf, I can't
even tell you. On the way home this Wednesday summer evening.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
My dad got pulled over.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
As the officer walked up, my dad handed me his
cell phone. This is nineteen ninety three, so thinks saved
by the bell Zach Morris style brick phone. Oh no,
like fuck it? Yeah Jesus and said quote, if I
get arrested, call my lawyer. To Jesus Christ, that's it.
No number to call, no explanation. I'm eleven years old,
(12:48):
all caps, My little brother is nine and in the
back seat all caps. What the actual fuck, Dana, He's
going to get arrested?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Well, here's the girl.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
The officer checks license and info, gives him a warning,
and off we go. Me still freaking out, thinking I
was going to have to explain to my mom why
my dad went to jail in front of us and
how I learned to use a cell phone on the fly.
As we drive away, my dad chuckles and says, well,
that was close. Then he reaches over and opens his
glove box to show us at least thirty unpaid parking
(13:20):
and speeding tickets.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Oh jesus, you getting flashbacks. Well, I just thought it
was going to be like my cousin Lisa, where one
time I opened her glove box and it just bags
of weed fell out, and then she's she like slammed
it back up and goes, that's not mine. I'm holding
it for someone. And I didn't know what it was
because I was like seven years old. Seriously, It's like,
can you just take me to four? Ah?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Oh my god. I thought it was like not that much,
but you were a little kid, so you were like
it was.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Bags and bags. It seems like bags and bags, like yeah,
but it was also nineteen seventy eight, so it's just like.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Shitty weed anyway, yeah, stems and seeds. I never told
my mom this story until my dad's celebration of life,
where we all laughed and reminisced about what a rascal
my dad was. My dad was my best friend, and
I think about him and miss him every day, but
his memory lives on in me, my brother, and my
children as a lifelong resident of Wichita. I also have
fun stories about the BTK killer Dennis Raider, including how
(14:14):
the police thought my mom was a victim spoiler alert,
she wasn't. Diana is still alive to this day, and
how he taught my husband to make fire as his
boy scout leader and says, thanks Dennis. But this story
about my dad means so much more to me and
gives me a chance to talk about what a funny,
crazy dad I got to have, stay sexy and always
pay your parking tickets.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Caroline, Caroline, your dad was a badass, Yeah, because he's
getting speeding and parking tickets and just throwing them, yeah,
throwing them in a thing and being like, I'll deal
with it later.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
There is nothing like this era from like the eighties
through the mid nineties of divorced Dad. That it's all
trash Dad, because they didn't know what the fuck they
were doing.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
But yeah, it was kind of they were blazing a
new tree rail of ways, to live life right and
thinking they're like, yeah, I'm gonna like I'm going to
get a second wife in my secretary and data girl.
It's twenty two and just blueshit up totally. And then
we're like drunk at Sizzler, crying at their children.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yes, I went to Sizzler so many times with my
dad as a child. I cannot even tell you that
salad bar was fucking kicking.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
It's that salad bar. I mean, didn't they have like
fried chicken and fucking potato, have stuff nacho cheese everywhere,
so good still around. That'll get you over a divorce. Okay.
The subject line of this email is an unintentional exorcist
reenactment picture it that just goes right into it. Picture
(15:43):
it Chiller Theater horror convention in Parsipony, New York. In Parsipony,
New Jersey, twenty twelve.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Where everything happens Parsipony.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
It sounds like there's a lot of gardens. It's like
it's it sounds like it's very salt of the earth.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
They have a very very specific style of Victorian houses
and like think you have to paint them a certain
colorado get fine by the city.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
It's like every person in every house is a kookie ant. Yes,
how do they per capita have so many cookie ants?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
And can we move there now?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Please? Pa Sipany Sipony, get me my funny apron who
invited all these tacky people? I'm in, Pa Sipony, New Jersey.
I'm twenty seven, cute, single, bubbly and high masking with
undiagnosed autism in adhd God, that makes me tired for you.
It's just I saw TikTok and it was about how
(16:34):
adh people find each other no matter where they are,
and it absolutely described you and I'm meeting for the
first time. It is the funny, one of the funniest
things I've ever seen. Okay, Anyway, I was working for
my chiropractor back home in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. We were both
Turkish American, so our relationship was more friendship than strictly professional.
He loved telling me wild stories about the celebrities he'd adjusted,
(16:57):
complete with photo evidence. Oh my god, I would just
sit there wide eye celebrities he's adjusted. Can you imagine it?
Hip a violation for sure? For sure, except he's a
chiropracticge so maybe there's no agreement.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It can't be no agreement, no friends, chiropractors.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
It's just all vibes. It's all Turkish vibes. He got
invited to work on celebrities at a nearby horror convention
and asked me to come along as his assistant. He
told me he wouldn't know which celebrities he'd be working
on until the day of, but honestly, I didn't care.
I was just thrilled to be there. It was my
first ever celebrity convention. Passipity.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
It's one of the ones where like Thisnce goes to
those we're like people from movies, from TV shows and
the sixties come and like take photos with you and
sign things.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yes, it's a horror movie one, right, It's like if
Bella Lugosi was alive.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
He'd be there, and uh, that's all you got.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Freddy Krueger exactly. Yes, Okay, I could have pulled his
name if I had had fifteen seconds. But the menopausal
brain is just like just the lights are shutting down.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
When we arrived, I had a couple hours to wander
before I had to report back. In that time, I
had a lovely conversation with Michael Constantine, the dad from
My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I also met John Aston,
the original Gomez from the Adams Family, who was also
Sean Aston from the Hobbit movies, his dad Butch Patrick
(18:21):
Eddie Munster, and awkwardly promposed with Dean Kin from the
Lois and Clark TV show.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Okay, that's not that's like a.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Solid B plus level. It is, although Dean Kine it
says this was pre Trump, so I was fully geeking
out over Superman with his big arms around me. Okay,
Then it says I met back up with doctor Kent.
He casually tells me he's going to bring me up
to Linda Blair's hotel room while he adjusts her. I
don't think I need to explain that what the Exorcist
(18:49):
means to a horror fan, but just in case, it
is my favorite horror movie of all time, and at
twenty seven, with completely unmedicated ADHD and zero emotional regulation skills,
I was not equipped to handle this level of autistic joy.
We go up to her room. I sit in a
chair next to the bed while doctor Kent starts adjusting her.
I try to keep it together. I really do but
(19:10):
I can't, so I blurt out something like, I can't
believe this is happening. The Exorcist is my favorite horror movie.
And that's when it happens. Linda Blair is lying on
the bed across from me as doctor Kent cracks her
neck violently to one side. Well that's an adjustment.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, you put it also sounds like the movie. Yes.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
She suddenly shoots upright, locks eyes with me and his
is stop talking about the fucking exercis. Oh no, that
should be cool, and then slams herself back down on
the bed. I cannot begin to describe the emotional cocktail
I experienced in that moment. Terror, shame, embarrassment, all of
the above, but more importantly, I am now watching Linda
Blair's head move in deeply unsettling directions on a hotel bed,
(19:51):
So I shut the fuck up. She says something after
that about the movie being about faith and evil, but
I fully dissociated at that point. After a few more
minutes of adjustments and me sitting there in absolute silence,
she gets up, walks over to me and apologizes her
exact words. She was sorry for quote going all Exorcist
on my ass and all right. She explained that she
(20:11):
has a lot of trauma tied to the film and
was also in a great deal of physical pain. Then
she opened her arms and we hugged it out.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
They say never meet your heroes, but honestly, even though
this encounter went horribly wrong and nothing like I imagined,
I would also argue that it was absolutely the perfect
way to meet Linda Blair, not just the icon, but
the perfect human. And on that note, stay sexy and
let the power of Christ compel you. Duigu. She her, Wow,
(20:42):
but here's the thing. She's getting her neck adjusted. And
then everything that just got described literally sounds like that
horrible scene in The Exorcist. And she remember we covered
this in probably episode eleven or something. She hurt her
back really badly those scenes.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh god, and that's why she needs a chiropractice.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yes, she's young. In that movie, she got flipped all
over the place like it wasn't good. And then now
years later, it's like she's trying to get a foxing adjustment.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Here's a reminder of why you're even in this position,
and it's.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Okay, I love your movie.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Okay, counter argument, she's at a horror convention. Of course
someone's going to talk about the Exorcist, but non private room.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, it's understandable. And then
it's just like, the thing is that I think like
somebody like Linda Blair, it's like, and I bet you
she was in the middle of it, but she's like,
she's an icon, and it's hard to know. She doesn't
know she's an icon. She's like, oh, this is just
a movie that fucked my back and NECKA yeah, but
actually people are just like I this is my favorite
(21:47):
genre man girl. Also, I love that it was like
the full story there, because it would have sucked if
it had just been like and what a bitch for
doing that, where it's like no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
No, she wouldn't have been, but it was. It's very
cool that she was also lovely. Yeah, okay, this one
is oh my last one is one of my favorite stories. Okay,
it's got a lot of different things that we've asked
for around the years. I'm not going to reach to
the subject line. When I was in middle school, my
mom randomly told us we were going to the pound
(22:16):
to find a dog. We found the cutest little black
dog whose origins we did not know, but he looked
like a mix between a black lab and a wiener dog.
We named him Otis.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
That's a great dog name.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Such a good dog name. Yeah, my friend is a
cat name Otis. That doesn't matter, Okay. Otis would like
to get out of our dog door and then sneak
out of the fenced in backyard and take himself on
walks around the neighborhood while we were at school and work. Yeah,
it's unfamiliar.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
He would come back on his own when he was ready,
or be returned to our parents by some nice neighbor
who would simply call my mom. So no big deal, right, Well,
one day he escaped to go on his adventures around
the neighborhood, but this time did not return. My family
searched for him for days, and then that turned into weeks,
and this time no one called. My three year old
(23:04):
nephew was living with us at the time and that
dog was his best friend, so naturally he was crushed.
My parents stopped by the pound every day for weeks
looking for him, with no luck. They had given up hope,
not sure what to do, when one day my mom
was driving past the penitentiary in our town. The penitentiary
was located out of the way, so it was random
(23:25):
that she took the route right by it that day,
and while driving, she looked over and yelled, hey, that
looks like otis. She was looking at the yard inside
the penitentiary. She whipped the car around, parked, and walked
over to the fence about thirty yards from where an
inmate was training a little black dog and yelled, otis.
He came running over immediately. There was still a large
(23:49):
fence with barbed wire in between them, but my mom
knew it was our otis. It's the first line you
asked for dogs in prison, so here is a story
for that.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
We did well, but I think it was the thing
of like you know that that's a program that they do,
of like training dogs.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Wait, there's more, Okay. She asked the inmate how he
got that dog, and he quickly and nervously said, you
need to speak to the pound and ran off. He
could get into a lot of trouble for speaking to
someone who is randomly standing outside the fence. Fair enough, yes,
So she drove over to the pound immediately. This is
so fucked up, and after much insistence. They finally told
her that the dog she had been inquiring about was
(24:26):
in a program called Prison Pups, where an inmate is
assigned a dog from the pound and trains them to
be ready for a home, and in exchange, the inmate
gets time off their sentence.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
So they knew that that dog was in the prison
the whole time that they were checking in.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
But wait, there's more. Okay, this is one of those
like the story we talked about, like the woman keeping
the dog she found that didn't you know, it's like,
what would you do? But this is actually really bad. Okay, okay,
But the lady who was running the pound at the
time insisted that the dog was not Otis. We think
they had put a lot of time slash paperwork with
(25:00):
Otis to get him into the program, so they did
not want to pull him out. At this point, she
had like a quota to meet of dogs to get
put in this prison program, and so.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
She was fucking taking people's Also, you know, I have
the story of George climbing that goddamn fence, and that's
what she would do. I think people get really mad
if that, if they look at you as like you're
a terrible pet owner and the people that are sincerely again,
please go listen to my story about what was actually
happening with George. But when dogs get out like that,
(25:32):
they could get hit hit by cars. So there's I
think there was a neighbor in my neighborhood when I
had to go spring her from the Parapan day because
they're just like, you can't have a dog if your
dog is going to get.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Out all the time. Sure, I stole I accidentally couldna
have a cat for that same reason. I'm like, there's
no outdoor cats in this fucking neighborhood. There's coyotes everywhere. Yeah,
and I wasn't wrong.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
You're just trying to do some good in this world.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Me and Salem, we're now fucking bonded for life. Okay.
My mom, not one to let down, return the next
day with a full thirty page photo album of Otis
with our family. My mom loved her camera, a lot
of the photos being of Otis with my nephew, and
to seal the deal, she also brought my little three
year old nephew with her. A little heartbroken boy looking
(26:18):
for his dog must have finally melted the stubborn employee's heart,
and she gave in and admitted that the dog was
in fact Otis. Fuck. I mean, the fact that the
woman came for weeks every day to the pound shows
you that this was a dog that was loved, you
know what I mean. It's not like no one came
for him.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
But almost like it's the more that person comes, the
more that the person who made that decision right has
to stick by it and has to tell themselves, like,
but she would think it didn't happen for a couple
weeks at least, because they have time to sign Otis
up for this program.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Were they hiding Otis?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Well, I mean it sounds like it. Or she was
like Otis already got funneled into the program. It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
They agreed to give him back after we paid one
hundred and fifty dollars fee. Of course, the employee also
tried to charge my mom an additional two hundred and
seventy five dollars for a neutering fee. We had to
get him nutered when we got him years before, so
this was already done. Oh, in which my mom replied, quote,
that is strange. I did not know you could cut
their balls off twice. The lady again relented and removed
(27:22):
that fee. When all the paperwork was done, they opened
the door and Otis ran into the arms with my
nephew and knocking him down with joy. My little nephew
was in tears. Otis returned home and never escaped again.
He's like, sorry, I'm not going back to place.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I didn't mean to go to prison, guys.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I thought I was going to like a fucking candy
factory or something, or like a chicken roasted chicken place.
He grew old with his little boy for several more
years until the ripe old age of sixteen. My mom
too has since passed, but she was never one to
give up on her family, especially a boy and his
best friend. Otis lived an adventurous life and we have
(27:59):
many more stories, but this is the one about how
he got locked up, did hard time, and eventually broke free.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Thank you for all you do and for.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Providing such a great space to return to every Monday
and Thursday and Wednesday. Stay safe and don't give up
the search. Maybe even look in the pen, Love Laura.
And then there's a picture of the dog and it
also says PS my mom's name was Vicky with an
eye at the end.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
There's a look and he looks traumatized, like oh man,
He's like, listen, I've made some bad decisions.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
At least I'm here with my friend again. Look at that.
Look at how eighties and nineties that comforter is that
he's laying. It looks like one of those cups, doesn't it.
It's like, get some ice, get some sprite that dog. Also,
the odds of that dog being outside while she drives
by totally like that's fate where it's like it just
(28:51):
wasn't supposed to be in that program.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, get him off the streets.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
So funny. Okay, here's my last one, and this is
if that story had all the elements of things we love,
this one does too. The subject line is nineties prom
money Machine k Pals. You want money Machine stories? How
about one with all the hairspray glamour of the late
nineteen ninety Yes, just like in all the iconic teen
(29:18):
movies of that great decade. Prom was a big deal
at our Colorado High school. My junior year nineteen ninety
nine saw my date and I, along with most of
our friends, in the theater department renting a double decker
bus to help us arrive at the dance in style.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
My god, it's so embarrassing they would even find that
in Colorado.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
How much money did they have to pay a lot
of money to get a double decker bus?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
I'm already worried though, tell me.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
But for all the Jessica McClintock dresses and awkward slow dancing,
the real main event was after prom, and that's capital
a capital p Our. School's PTA was incredibly dedicated to
ensuring that, unlike in those classic movies, their kids would
not spend the rest of the night drinking and making
out in someone's unfinished basement or worse, out on the roads.
(30:08):
Oh sorry it says finished basement. I'm from a different
car on town.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
I want to go a party in an unfinished place.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
That's where all of ours. There was always like a
can of like a weed killer on the on the wall.
As you were at.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Slow dance, washer and dryer you've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah, they pulled the car out. You go in there,
you start slow dancing. They planned for weeks to completely
transform the school into an unbelievable wonderland, which they would
quickly install within a mere twelve hours while we were
prepping and preening, snapping photos, pretending we belonged in a
fancy restaurant, and then dancing away at some event hall
(30:45):
after prom was a chance for us kids to kick
off the high heels, change into jeans, but keep the
carefully applied makeup and curled hair intact, of course, and
really let loose. There was always a different theme, and
the year Story takes place, that theme was movies. Think
themes are so fucking ridiculous. It's either movies or underwater.
(31:06):
Those are the basically the two themes. What about hot dogs?
Hot dogs? Can't we roll in some hot dogs? How
about Picasso as a theme modern art? Think of car
cutouts and benches lined up for the hallway drive in,
projecting grease onto a giant screen and serving popcorn and candy.
A James Bond themed casino where you would sip mocktails
(31:29):
in martini glasses. Wow. A Titanic room with a paper
miche iceberg and a ship's bow where Captain Smith would
marry you and your date, complete with cheap plastic gold
rings and a fancy printed certificate.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
The official entrance to this particular after prom dropped you
right into Jurassic Park. Wow, this rich kid's school, it is,
You and your date would climb into a blow up
raft to paddle across the school's pool pool. What we
didn't even have a cafeteria for fox sake.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I'm from a rich fucking down and we didn't have
a fucking pool pool.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Which was lined with palm trees and dinosaur cutouts, fog
rolling across the water, and the movie's iconic theme song
blaring from the speakers. It was amazing. Steven would die,
Steven would not survive. But amid all this Hollywood hoopla,
where's the money machine? You might be thinking. It all
ties back to that Double O seven casino where you
could gamble and earn chips that you then exchanged for
(32:30):
raffle tickets. All the usual prizes were there, from restaurant
and Starbucks gift cards, to CDs to autograph sports memorabilia,
and then in parentheses it says these parents really did
work hard to make this a can't miss event. Yeah,
they fucking did. I want to go, But there was
one prize that stood out from the rest all caps
A chance to go in the money machine. And guess
(32:50):
who was lucky enough to win one of those turns.
That's right, yours truly, so into the machine. I stepped
in front of all the students assembled in the gym
for the events grand finale. This was my chance.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
It turned Wait, what's this person's name? I want to.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Picture Lindsay with lee? Why Lindsay? So, this was my chance.
It turned on and the ringlets from my updo flu
but my rhinestone Tierra held fast. However, I had chosen
to change from my shiny satin ball gown into a
spaghetti strap tank top and boot cut jeans from Express,
I didn't have a chance of ballooning my shirt and
(33:28):
capturing all those fluttering bills. In the end, I was
lucky enough to snag about twenty dollars, which was plenty
for me to treat my date to breakfast at Village
Inn with our friends before the magical night morning came
to a close. All in all, a pretty great experience,
but I definitely learned a lesson stay sexy and don't
rely on spaghetti straps. Lindsay, Wow, incredible those money booths
(33:53):
man number When the chick got stuck in one at
Chuck e cheese. She was being greedy the money. Boot
firefighters had to come get her out. Oh to be
like sorry, I know, it's this is for kids. I know,
I'm sorry. Ummm, have you ever been stuck in a
machine at Chuck e Chee? Has anything ever happened to you?
We love that it's happened to you and we want
(34:15):
to hear about it.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
That's right. Send us your stories at My Favorite Murder
at gmail and stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye, Elvis.
Do you want a cookie?
Speaker 1 (34:31):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer
is Tessa Hughes.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
This episode was mixed by Leona Squalocci.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Follow the show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and
the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can
support our show. Goodbye,
Hello, and Welcome's my favorite murder. That's Georgia hart Stark,
the minisode the minisod. We're both the minisode, but George
is more so the minisod today because today is George's birthday.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
This comes out on my birthday. I will be traveling
through Italy.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Now, do you have enough fancy shoes? Because I'll tell
you what, Yeah, they do not tolerate shitty shoes over there.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I am really nervous about my style and fashion there
because I know that, like especially Milan, Yeah, I'll get stoned.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
No that you know what you'll get is it's the
worst thing of anything. Yeah, it's worse than physical torture.
It's worse than anything. It's just kind of like an
Italian lady. He'll go like this and looked at down
at your shoes. It happened to me on a ferry
and I wanted to jump over the edge.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
But what about my hookahs?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
No, he just looks so terrible. But you know what,
if you bring your vintage clothes, I bet you they'll
go crazy. Okay, because you're wearing outfits and it looks
like you care.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I'm going to fucking dress to impress for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
To do it. Happy Birthday, and I swear to God
not as revenge. I got you something for your birthday
this past weekend, but I was like, oh, this your
birthday episode won't be for a while.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I have your birthday present in my car because I forgot.
This was a miniso, so I'm going to give it
to you on Thursday.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Great. Then that gives me a couple of days to
bring mine in. Okay, what if it's the same thing,
that would be incredible.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Okay, I'm going first, Okay, right, hoy hoy, I'm funny.
I'm a year one listener, not quite day one, but
I am from Western Australia and it always takes us
a while to catch up to the rest of the world.
I work at Fremantle Prison, which is where I'm writing
you from today on my life break. I promise we
(02:01):
don't give a shit. Do your thing, Yeah, get paid
to fucking rite us. Firstly, I would like to acknowledge
the Woodjuck people as the traditional custodians of the land
on which Freemantle Prison is located. I pay my respects
to ancestors and elders both past and present, and the
ongoing connection between people, land, waters and community. I just
listened to your Rewind episode number ninety four where Georgia
(02:23):
covered David and Catherine Bernie fuck one of the Darkest
so bad, and decided it's high time I tell you
about my fascinating and ghastly workplace. Freemantle Prison was built
by convicts in the eighteen fifties and operated as Perth's
maximum security prison until its closure in nineteen ninety one.
Haunted by ninety two, it had been converted into a
(02:45):
tourist site and is now a UNESCO World Heritage Listed Building.
Our main cell block is in fact the largest convict
building in the Southern Hemisphere with an intact roof. Okay,
that's really specific.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
You have to qualify. UNESCO isn't messing around with like
patios and stuff, but.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
A fucking roof got ahead the roof, which goes to
show if you can be specific enough with your categorizations,
you can be the best at something that's right.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
So who's the other one without the roof? Though? That's
really just one of those out courtyard prisons that are
so popular.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You know, those open air prisons.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yees. I think the prison from Papillon was open air
that sounds terrible.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
David Bernie was a prisoner here from the time he
was incarcerated to the prison's closure. As he was at
risk of being harmed by other prisoners, three of the
old death row cells were converted into a private apartment for.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Him, just to keep him inside. Yeah yeah, side note.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
The death penalty was abolished in Western Australia in nineteen
eighty four. The last person to be hanged at Fremantle
Prison was Perth's most infamous serial killer, Eric Edgar Cook,
aka the night Crawler, who went on a four year
killing spree from nineteen fifty eight to sixty three and
was finally executed in nineteen sixty four. How we never
heard of this and done it?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
We must have sure both like looked it up. But
that's so early, yeah for a serial killer.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Totally interesting and purse which is like so far away.
Back to the Bernie's You may think a whole apartment
sounds like a pretty sweet deal for David, but it's
one of the dankest, most smelly, oppressive areas of the prison.
I usually say, if this place is haunted, the ghosts
sure aren't interested in me. But that apartment gives me
the heavy GBS. One of our tour guides had a
(04:33):
boyfriend who lived on the same street as the Bernie's
back in the eighties. She remembers walking alone a sixteen
year old girl to her boyfriend's house, seeing David Bernie
and waving hello, oh, which is like, that's exactly his type. Yeah,
he seemed friendly enough. Thank you for a decade of
your dear voices in my ear holes. If we can
lock in another ten, that would be fab.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Where do we saye?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah SSDGM kat kat.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Thank you for listening for so long from so far
away and telling us about your essentially like a hometown
kind of crossover story.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yeah, and like you work there, so it's cool tell
us about your We like weird workplaces. Yes, we've had
Smithsonian people write in music tiny museums from tiny places
in the world.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah. We also love the post office.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I love thee haunted.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Told a couple post office stories.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I bet the post office is haunted somewhere.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Here's the thing. Everyone's had to work. Everyone's got a
good work story.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Totally.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
What's happened to you at work?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Totally?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Okay. The subject line of this email is random hippie
crashes my mother's college graduation in seventies California. Oh god, right,
I have to pick that one. It says, hey, y'all,
my mom graduated from U SEE Santa Cruz, home of
the fighting banana slugs, in the late nineteen seventies. She
graduated with a bachelor's in biology, continuing the theme of
(05:54):
people on her side of the family studying botan wow,
which I of course ended by majoring in theater down
here in Texas. And then it says I'm smart. I
promise I had her graduation ceremony a local woman who
didn't attend the school, just lived in the area, was
known as the Cosmic Lady. She made her way on
stage to the microphone and told the audience that the
(06:15):
sky lab was falling.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Oh wait wait, sorry, that what that sky lab was.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Falling, which was well, I'll tell you about it in
a second, and if they all concentrated together they could
keep it from falling. A Spanish language professor calmly met
her on stage, walked her down to the audience, and
sat her next to him in the front row, keeping
his arm around her for the remainder of the ceremony
to keep her from ambushing the stage again, and that
man was Paul Onions just kidding, He wasn't. So here's
(06:44):
the explanation. And the reason I know about Skylab so
well is because Skylab was a space station that was
up in the right around nineteen seventy nine.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
It was like a field trip thing for you.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
It was you know what it was. I once played
Liza h in my friend's musical about the last night
of nineteen seventy nine Halston's New Year's Eve party that
they had at the what's the famous disco, oh fifty four, Yeah, studio.
It was called Waiting for a Studio fifty four and
it was like everybody getting together before they go out
for the night. Yeah, and I, as Liza Minelli sang
(07:19):
a song called sky Lab is Falling.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
How are we just hearing about this?
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Well, it's just a generational thing because it was like
a weird It was like the kind of pseudo Haley's
comet accident thing that was happening.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Yeah, I thought you played Liza Minelli. Well, there's been
plenty of times for you to fucking mention.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
That, and now I do the song. No, but this
it's such a weird thing because apparently in real life
because they were all on a lot of coke. Sure
at the time, Liza was obsessed with the fact that
sky Lab was falling and she thought it was going
to fall on her, and it was this weird paranoia.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
She was, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Here's the full explanation, instead of just me talking about
a play I was in once, So me, here's the explanation.
Spot I did a musical. As you may already know,
Skylab was a space station operated by NASA for several
years in the seventies and was the only one they
operated exclusively without foreign companies involved. It did end up
(08:13):
falling in nineteen seventy nine, landing in a remote area
of Australia outside of Perth. The fuck outside of Perth.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
And like we're talking, we're talking about ceilings and buildings,
and now we're talking about you know, the.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Sky meet me on the astral plane. Man. I guess
they didn't concentrate hard enough at this one specific college graduation,
which honestly makes sense. So the woman was basically saying,
if we all focus, we can get this thing not
to fall. And it hadn't falled yet. It was like
in the process they knew and I thought she like, no,
she was like guessing, yeah, no, No, it was like
(08:47):
on the news every.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
She was like, y'all, yes, it's fucking scary.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Get ready because it could fall anywhere. My mom, not
a talented storyteller, just repeats things when my family asks
her for an explanation. I love, Yeah, well, skylab falling
was falling. When somebody invariably asks who the cosmic Lady was,
my mom replies with, you know, the cosmic lady that
would drive me insane. Yeah, as if we were there
(09:11):
in the seventies and forgot about it and are being
little shits about it. My mom is a very straight
least Christian woman who continually surprises me by knowing how
to differentiate by smell different strains of marijuana. She's a mystery.
She's the cosmic lady.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
That's what I like.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
That's what it's Probably her popular came to her graduation. Lady.
If you know pot that, well, the Christianity probably came after, right, Okay,
that's all judgment. My girlfriend got me hooked on listening
to your podcast a year ago, and I'm so glad
she did. Best wishes, Emily.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Emily in the Skylab, I learned something new.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I mean that was that was a real slice of
life right Thereah.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Was everyone freaking out and like terrified.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, especially the people that were on cocaine all the time.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
That was a big part of it. Especially Eliza Minelli.
She's specifically worried about She.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Was specifically worried about it, and it was affecting. She
was on some movie shoot and she wouldn't come out
of her her trailer because she thought Skylab was going
to fall. She just wanted to stay safe for the cocis. Yeah,
fair enough. God, I want to sing this song so
bad right now. Sing it, Guy loves Fallen out of
the clear blue Sky. You have to do the Skylab falling.
(10:24):
It's such a good if. My friend Laura Milligan's musical
Waiting for a Studio fifty four is on YouTube or anything.
I highly recommend.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Are you able to go find it?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Yeah, dude, I'm I'm Liz Minelli. Tom Kenny aka spongeby
Startpants is Halston. No, he's such a good Halston. Doug
Benson is Andy Warhol.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
My friend Laura, who was five feet tall, was Jerry
Hall wearing like a cowboy hat and a big wig,
which was very funny. Paul Tompkins was a Truman Capoti.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Oh yes, of course was who else was in this
fucking let's bring this back.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
It was the most fun, insane, crazy thing I've ever heard,
fever Dream done. It was nuts and everyone had a song.
So she wrote individual songs for everybody about where they were.
Actually she on coke. That's crazy. I mean she has
been at times in her life. Let's not throw her
a little No, she's not ease, that's she's done it
(11:24):
all amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Wow, Okay, I know what I'm googling when I get home.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I mean, I hope it's somewhere because it the last
really episode.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
I told you about being in a fucking mall fashion show.
This week you're telling us about a like we have
more to give.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
There's more to give if we would just try.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
It's so funny because I'll talk about it later. Okay,
stop it, okay, okay. Uh trash Dad story two minute read? Yes,
I timed it. Okay, I promised a two minute read,
so let's get into it. My dad passed away in
October twenty twenty three. This was my kid's first real
experienarans with loss. So to comfort them in times of sadness,
(12:03):
I tell funny stories of Grandpa Dana and his Shenanigans.
One particular story stood out as a trash dad story.
On Wednesdays, we went with my dad, part of the
split custody agreement, same and he would bring us home
after going to eat or whatever single dads come up
with to entertain kids. So much miniature golf, I can't
even tell you. On the way home this Wednesday summer evening.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
My dad got pulled over.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
As the officer walked up, my dad handed me his
cell phone. This is nineteen ninety three, so thinks saved
by the bell Zach Morris style brick phone. Oh no,
like fuck it? Yeah Jesus and said quote, if I
get arrested, call my lawyer. To Jesus Christ, that's it.
No number to call, no explanation. I'm eleven years old,
(12:48):
all caps, My little brother is nine and in the
back seat all caps. What the actual fuck, Dana, He's
going to get arrested?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Well, here's the girl.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
The officer checks license and info, gives him a warning,
and off we go. Me still freaking out, thinking I
was going to have to explain to my mom why
my dad went to jail in front of us and
how I learned to use a cell phone on the fly.
As we drive away, my dad chuckles and says, well,
that was close. Then he reaches over and opens his
glove box to show us at least thirty unpaid parking
(13:20):
and speeding tickets.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Oh jesus, you getting flashbacks. Well, I just thought it
was going to be like my cousin Lisa, where one
time I opened her glove box and it just bags
of weed fell out, and then she's she like slammed
it back up and goes, that's not mine. I'm holding
it for someone. And I didn't know what it was
because I was like seven years old. Seriously, It's like,
can you just take me to four? Ah?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Oh my god. I thought it was like not that much,
but you were a little kid, so you were like
it was.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Bags and bags. It seems like bags and bags, like yeah,
but it was also nineteen seventy eight, so it's just like.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Shitty weed anyway, yeah, stems and seeds. I never told
my mom this story until my dad's celebration of life,
where we all laughed and reminisced about what a rascal
my dad was. My dad was my best friend, and
I think about him and miss him every day, but
his memory lives on in me, my brother, and my
children as a lifelong resident of Wichita. I also have
fun stories about the BTK killer Dennis Raider, including how
(14:14):
the police thought my mom was a victim spoiler alert,
she wasn't. Diana is still alive to this day, and
how he taught my husband to make fire as his
boy scout leader and says, thanks Dennis. But this story
about my dad means so much more to me and
gives me a chance to talk about what a funny,
crazy dad I got to have, stay sexy and always
pay your parking tickets.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Caroline, Caroline, your dad was a badass, Yeah, because he's
getting speeding and parking tickets and just throwing them, yeah,
throwing them in a thing and being like, I'll deal
with it later.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
There is nothing like this era from like the eighties
through the mid nineties of divorced Dad. That it's all
trash Dad, because they didn't know what the fuck they
were doing.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
But yeah, it was kind of they were blazing a
new tree rail of ways, to live life right and
thinking they're like, yeah, I'm gonna like I'm going to
get a second wife in my secretary and data girl.
It's twenty two and just blueshit up totally. And then
we're like drunk at Sizzler, crying at their children.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yes, I went to Sizzler so many times with my
dad as a child. I cannot even tell you that
salad bar was fucking kicking.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
It's that salad bar. I mean, didn't they have like
fried chicken and fucking potato, have stuff nacho cheese everywhere,
so good still around. That'll get you over a divorce. Okay.
The subject line of this email is an unintentional exorcist
reenactment picture it that just goes right into it. Picture
(15:43):
it Chiller Theater horror convention in Parsipony, New York. In Parsipony,
New Jersey, twenty twelve.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Where everything happens Parsipony.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
It sounds like there's a lot of gardens. It's like
it's it sounds like it's very salt of the earth.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
They have a very very specific style of Victorian houses
and like think you have to paint them a certain
colorado get fine by the city.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
It's like every person in every house is a kookie ant. Yes,
how do they per capita have so many cookie ants?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
And can we move there now?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Please? Pa Sipany Sipony, get me my funny apron who
invited all these tacky people? I'm in, Pa Sipony, New Jersey.
I'm twenty seven, cute, single, bubbly and high masking with
undiagnosed autism in adhd God, that makes me tired for you.
It's just I saw TikTok and it was about how
(16:34):
adh people find each other no matter where they are,
and it absolutely described you and I'm meeting for the
first time. It is the funny, one of the funniest
things I've ever seen. Okay, Anyway, I was working for
my chiropractor back home in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. We were both
Turkish American, so our relationship was more friendship than strictly professional.
He loved telling me wild stories about the celebrities he'd adjusted,
(16:57):
complete with photo evidence. Oh my god, I would just
sit there wide eye celebrities he's adjusted. Can you imagine it?
Hip a violation for sure? For sure, except he's a
chiropracticge so maybe there's no agreement.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It can't be no agreement, no friends, chiropractors.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
It's just all vibes. It's all Turkish vibes. He got
invited to work on celebrities at a nearby horror convention
and asked me to come along as his assistant. He
told me he wouldn't know which celebrities he'd be working
on until the day of, but honestly, I didn't care.
I was just thrilled to be there. It was my
first ever celebrity convention. Passipity.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
It's one of the ones where like Thisnce goes to
those we're like people from movies, from TV shows and
the sixties come and like take photos with you and
sign things.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yes, it's a horror movie one, right, It's like if
Bella Lugosi was alive.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
He'd be there, and uh, that's all you got.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Freddy Krueger exactly. Yes, Okay, I could have pulled his
name if I had had fifteen seconds. But the menopausal
brain is just like just the lights are shutting down.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
When we arrived, I had a couple hours to wander
before I had to report back. In that time, I
had a lovely conversation with Michael Constantine, the dad from
My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I also met John Aston,
the original Gomez from the Adams Family, who was also
Sean Aston from the Hobbit movies, his dad Butch Patrick
(18:21):
Eddie Munster, and awkwardly promposed with Dean Kin from the
Lois and Clark TV show.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Okay, that's not that's like a.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Solid B plus level. It is, although Dean Kine it
says this was pre Trump, so I was fully geeking
out over Superman with his big arms around me. Okay,
Then it says I met back up with doctor Kent.
He casually tells me he's going to bring me up
to Linda Blair's hotel room while he adjusts her. I
don't think I need to explain that what the Exorcist
(18:49):
means to a horror fan, but just in case, it
is my favorite horror movie of all time, and at
twenty seven, with completely unmedicated ADHD and zero emotional regulation skills,
I was not equipped to handle this level of autistic joy.
We go up to her room. I sit in a
chair next to the bed while doctor Kent starts adjusting her.
I try to keep it together. I really do but
(19:10):
I can't, so I blurt out something like, I can't
believe this is happening. The Exorcist is my favorite horror movie.
And that's when it happens. Linda Blair is lying on
the bed across from me as doctor Kent cracks her
neck violently to one side. Well that's an adjustment.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, you put it also sounds like the movie. Yes.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
She suddenly shoots upright, locks eyes with me and his
is stop talking about the fucking exercis. Oh no, that
should be cool, and then slams herself back down on
the bed. I cannot begin to describe the emotional cocktail
I experienced in that moment. Terror, shame, embarrassment, all of
the above, but more importantly, I am now watching Linda
Blair's head move in deeply unsettling directions on a hotel bed,
(19:51):
So I shut the fuck up. She says something after
that about the movie being about faith and evil, but
I fully dissociated at that point. After a few more
minutes of adjustments and me sitting there in absolute silence,
she gets up, walks over to me and apologizes her
exact words. She was sorry for quote going all Exorcist
on my ass and all right. She explained that she
(20:11):
has a lot of trauma tied to the film and
was also in a great deal of physical pain. Then
she opened her arms and we hugged it out.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
They say never meet your heroes, but honestly, even though
this encounter went horribly wrong and nothing like I imagined,
I would also argue that it was absolutely the perfect
way to meet Linda Blair, not just the icon, but
the perfect human. And on that note, stay sexy and
let the power of Christ compel you. Duigu. She her, Wow,
(20:42):
but here's the thing. She's getting her neck adjusted. And
then everything that just got described literally sounds like that
horrible scene in The Exorcist. And she remember we covered
this in probably episode eleven or something. She hurt her
back really badly those scenes.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh god, and that's why she needs a chiropractice.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yes, she's young. In that movie, she got flipped all
over the place like it wasn't good. And then now
years later, it's like she's trying to get a foxing adjustment.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Here's a reminder of why you're even in this position,
and it's.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Okay, I love your movie.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Okay, counter argument, she's at a horror convention. Of course
someone's going to talk about the Exorcist, but non private room.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, it's understandable. And then
it's just like, the thing is that I think like
somebody like Linda Blair, it's like, and I bet you
she was in the middle of it, but she's like,
she's an icon, and it's hard to know. She doesn't
know she's an icon. She's like, oh, this is just
a movie that fucked my back and NECKA yeah, but
actually people are just like I this is my favorite
(21:47):
genre man girl. Also, I love that it was like
the full story there, because it would have sucked if
it had just been like and what a bitch for
doing that, where it's like no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
No, she wouldn't have been, but it was. It's very
cool that she was also lovely. Yeah, okay, this one
is oh my last one is one of my favorite stories. Okay,
it's got a lot of different things that we've asked
for around the years. I'm not going to reach to
the subject line. When I was in middle school, my
mom randomly told us we were going to the pound
(22:16):
to find a dog. We found the cutest little black
dog whose origins we did not know, but he looked
like a mix between a black lab and a wiener dog.
We named him Otis.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
That's a great dog name.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Such a good dog name. Yeah, my friend is a
cat name Otis. That doesn't matter, Okay. Otis would like
to get out of our dog door and then sneak
out of the fenced in backyard and take himself on
walks around the neighborhood while we were at school and work. Yeah,
it's unfamiliar.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
He would come back on his own when he was ready,
or be returned to our parents by some nice neighbor
who would simply call my mom. So no big deal, right, Well,
one day he escaped to go on his adventures around
the neighborhood, but this time did not return. My family
searched for him for days, and then that turned into weeks,
and this time no one called. My three year old
(23:04):
nephew was living with us at the time and that
dog was his best friend, so naturally he was crushed.
My parents stopped by the pound every day for weeks
looking for him, with no luck. They had given up hope,
not sure what to do, when one day my mom
was driving past the penitentiary in our town. The penitentiary
was located out of the way, so it was random
(23:25):
that she took the route right by it that day,
and while driving, she looked over and yelled, hey, that
looks like otis. She was looking at the yard inside
the penitentiary. She whipped the car around, parked, and walked
over to the fence about thirty yards from where an
inmate was training a little black dog and yelled, otis.
He came running over immediately. There was still a large
(23:49):
fence with barbed wire in between them, but my mom
knew it was our otis. It's the first line you
asked for dogs in prison, so here is a story
for that.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
We did well, but I think it was the thing
of like you know that that's a program that they do,
of like training dogs.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Wait, there's more, Okay. She asked the inmate how he
got that dog, and he quickly and nervously said, you
need to speak to the pound and ran off. He
could get into a lot of trouble for speaking to
someone who is randomly standing outside the fence. Fair enough, yes,
So she drove over to the pound immediately. This is
so fucked up, and after much insistence. They finally told
her that the dog she had been inquiring about was
(24:26):
in a program called Prison Pups, where an inmate is
assigned a dog from the pound and trains them to
be ready for a home, and in exchange, the inmate
gets time off their sentence.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
So they knew that that dog was in the prison
the whole time that they were checking in.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
But wait, there's more. Okay, this is one of those
like the story we talked about, like the woman keeping
the dog she found that didn't you know, it's like,
what would you do? But this is actually really bad. Okay, okay,
But the lady who was running the pound at the
time insisted that the dog was not Otis. We think
they had put a lot of time slash paperwork with
(25:00):
Otis to get him into the program, so they did
not want to pull him out. At this point, she
had like a quota to meet of dogs to get
put in this prison program, and so.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
She was fucking taking people's Also, you know, I have
the story of George climbing that goddamn fence, and that's
what she would do. I think people get really mad
if that, if they look at you as like you're
a terrible pet owner and the people that are sincerely again,
please go listen to my story about what was actually
happening with George. But when dogs get out like that,
(25:32):
they could get hit hit by cars. So there's I
think there was a neighbor in my neighborhood when I
had to go spring her from the Parapan day because
they're just like, you can't have a dog if your
dog is going to get.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Out all the time. Sure, I stole I accidentally couldna
have a cat for that same reason. I'm like, there's
no outdoor cats in this fucking neighborhood. There's coyotes everywhere. Yeah,
and I wasn't wrong.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
You're just trying to do some good in this world.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Me and Salem, we're now fucking bonded for life. Okay.
My mom, not one to let down, return the next
day with a full thirty page photo album of Otis
with our family. My mom loved her camera, a lot
of the photos being of Otis with my nephew, and
to seal the deal, she also brought my little three
year old nephew with her. A little heartbroken boy looking
(26:18):
for his dog must have finally melted the stubborn employee's heart,
and she gave in and admitted that the dog was
in fact Otis. Fuck. I mean, the fact that the
woman came for weeks every day to the pound shows
you that this was a dog that was loved, you
know what I mean. It's not like no one came
for him.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
But almost like it's the more that person comes, the
more that the person who made that decision right has
to stick by it and has to tell themselves, like,
but she would think it didn't happen for a couple
weeks at least, because they have time to sign Otis
up for this program.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Were they hiding Otis?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Well, I mean it sounds like it. Or she was
like Otis already got funneled into the program. It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
They agreed to give him back after we paid one
hundred and fifty dollars fee. Of course, the employee also
tried to charge my mom an additional two hundred and
seventy five dollars for a neutering fee. We had to
get him nutered when we got him years before, so
this was already done. Oh, in which my mom replied, quote,
that is strange. I did not know you could cut
their balls off twice. The lady again relented and removed
(27:22):
that fee. When all the paperwork was done, they opened
the door and Otis ran into the arms with my
nephew and knocking him down with joy. My little nephew
was in tears. Otis returned home and never escaped again.
He's like, sorry, I'm not going back to place.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I didn't mean to go to prison, guys.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I thought I was going to like a fucking candy
factory or something, or like a chicken roasted chicken place.
He grew old with his little boy for several more
years until the ripe old age of sixteen. My mom
too has since passed, but she was never one to
give up on her family, especially a boy and his
best friend. Otis lived an adventurous life and we have
(27:59):
many more stories, but this is the one about how
he got locked up, did hard time, and eventually broke free.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Thank you for all you do and for.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Providing such a great space to return to every Monday
and Thursday and Wednesday. Stay safe and don't give up
the search. Maybe even look in the pen, Love Laura.
And then there's a picture of the dog and it
also says PS my mom's name was Vicky with an
eye at the end.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
There's a look and he looks traumatized, like oh man,
He's like, listen, I've made some bad decisions.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
At least I'm here with my friend again. Look at that.
Look at how eighties and nineties that comforter is that
he's laying. It looks like one of those cups, doesn't it.
It's like, get some ice, get some sprite that dog. Also,
the odds of that dog being outside while she drives
by totally like that's fate where it's like it just
(28:51):
wasn't supposed to be in that program.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, get him off the streets.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
So funny. Okay, here's my last one, and this is
if that story had all the elements of things we love,
this one does too. The subject line is nineties prom
money Machine k Pals. You want money Machine stories? How
about one with all the hairspray glamour of the late
nineteen ninety Yes, just like in all the iconic teen
(29:18):
movies of that great decade. Prom was a big deal
at our Colorado High school. My junior year nineteen ninety
nine saw my date and I, along with most of
our friends, in the theater department renting a double decker
bus to help us arrive at the dance in style.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
My god, it's so embarrassing they would even find that
in Colorado.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
How much money did they have to pay a lot
of money to get a double decker bus?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
I'm already worried though, tell me.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
But for all the Jessica McClintock dresses and awkward slow dancing,
the real main event was after prom, and that's capital
a capital p Our. School's PTA was incredibly dedicated to
ensuring that, unlike in those classic movies, their kids would
not spend the rest of the night drinking and making
out in someone's unfinished basement or worse, out on the roads.
(30:08):
Oh sorry it says finished basement. I'm from a different
car on town.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
I want to go a party in an unfinished place.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
That's where all of ours. There was always like a
can of like a weed killer on the on the wall.
As you were at.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Slow dance, washer and dryer you've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah, they pulled the car out. You go in there,
you start slow dancing. They planned for weeks to completely
transform the school into an unbelievable wonderland, which they would
quickly install within a mere twelve hours while we were
prepping and preening, snapping photos, pretending we belonged in a
fancy restaurant, and then dancing away at some event hall
(30:45):
after prom was a chance for us kids to kick
off the high heels, change into jeans, but keep the
carefully applied makeup and curled hair intact, of course, and
really let loose. There was always a different theme, and
the year Story takes place, that theme was movies. Think
themes are so fucking ridiculous. It's either movies or underwater.
(31:06):
Those are the basically the two themes. What about hot dogs?
Hot dogs? Can't we roll in some hot dogs? How
about Picasso as a theme modern art? Think of car
cutouts and benches lined up for the hallway drive in,
projecting grease onto a giant screen and serving popcorn and candy.
A James Bond themed casino where you would sip mocktails
(31:29):
in martini glasses. Wow. A Titanic room with a paper
miche iceberg and a ship's bow where Captain Smith would
marry you and your date, complete with cheap plastic gold
rings and a fancy printed certificate.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
The official entrance to this particular after prom dropped you
right into Jurassic Park. Wow, this rich kid's school, it is,
You and your date would climb into a blow up
raft to paddle across the school's pool pool. What we
didn't even have a cafeteria for fox sake.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I'm from a rich fucking down and we didn't have
a fucking pool pool.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Which was lined with palm trees and dinosaur cutouts, fog
rolling across the water, and the movie's iconic theme song
blaring from the speakers. It was amazing. Steven would die,
Steven would not survive. But amid all this Hollywood hoopla,
where's the money machine? You might be thinking. It all
ties back to that Double O seven casino where you
could gamble and earn chips that you then exchanged for
(32:30):
raffle tickets. All the usual prizes were there, from restaurant
and Starbucks gift cards, to CDs to autograph sports memorabilia,
and then in parentheses it says these parents really did
work hard to make this a can't miss event. Yeah,
they fucking did. I want to go, But there was
one prize that stood out from the rest all caps
A chance to go in the money machine. And guess
(32:50):
who was lucky enough to win one of those turns.
That's right, yours truly, so into the machine. I stepped
in front of all the students assembled in the gym
for the events grand finale. This was my chance.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
It turned Wait, what's this person's name? I want to.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Picture Lindsay with lee? Why Lindsay? So, this was my chance.
It turned on and the ringlets from my updo flu
but my rhinestone Tierra held fast. However, I had chosen
to change from my shiny satin ball gown into a
spaghetti strap tank top and boot cut jeans from Express,
I didn't have a chance of ballooning my shirt and
(33:28):
capturing all those fluttering bills. In the end, I was
lucky enough to snag about twenty dollars, which was plenty
for me to treat my date to breakfast at Village
Inn with our friends before the magical night morning came
to a close. All in all, a pretty great experience,
but I definitely learned a lesson stay sexy and don't
rely on spaghetti straps. Lindsay, Wow, incredible those money booths
(33:53):
man number When the chick got stuck in one at
Chuck e cheese. She was being greedy the money. Boot
firefighters had to come get her out. Oh to be
like sorry, I know, it's this is for kids. I know,
I'm sorry. Ummm, have you ever been stuck in a
machine at Chuck e Chee? Has anything ever happened to you?
We love that it's happened to you and we want
(34:15):
to hear about it.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
That's right. Send us your stories at My Favorite Murder
at gmail and stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye, Elvis.
Do you want a cookie?
Speaker 1 (34:31):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer
is Tessa Hughes.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
This episode was mixed by Leona Squalocci.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Follow the show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and
the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can
support our show. Goodbye,
Hosts And Creators
Georgia Hardstark
Karen Kilgariff
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