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May 14, 2024 • 12 mins

The mystic of your parent's bathroom and why it's okay if you weren't allowed in.

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Choti. After the show podcast, Sam.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
You brought up an interesting question in the show today
about a parent's bathroom in a home. Oh yeah, and
it was funny to learn that we all had similar
situations with that growing up, that.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
You don't go into your parents' bathroom, it's theirs unless
you ask permission.

Speaker 4 (00:25):
Was the same true for the bedroom the parents' bedroom?

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Not really, Oh, because in fact, what's weird is I
had to take naps as a child.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
You mean you got to do You mean you got
to when you're a kid, you have to take naps.

Speaker 4 (00:39):
When you're an adult, you wish for a nap.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Yeah, there was about twenty or thirty years in the
middle there where naps don't mean a thing, and then
you're back at it. But yeah, it was like every
day's naps. My brother got sent to our room. He
I had to go to my parents room.

Speaker 4 (00:54):
They separated you. Yeah, well that's that's sweet and different.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
So I had a king size bed to roll around
in and pretend and I was sleeping.

Speaker 4 (01:01):
Oh it's so funny.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
But yeah, you didn't go in their closets. You only
walked into their bedroom. You never went in their bathroom.

Speaker 4 (01:09):
Right, we kind of had the same situation.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Certainly with the bathroom, we were more allowed in the bedroom.
I have a friend who was not allowed in her parents'
bedroom and you better knock, you better, never ever walk in,
just big fat walk in. And I'm thinking, yeah, that's
a good rule, good heart and fast rule. And when
she grew up, it was hard for her to, even

(01:33):
as an adult, walk into that room.

Speaker 4 (01:37):
It was so ingrained in her.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
You know, it's funny, is I do feel weird when
I walk in. I mean, my dad's been gone since
two thousand and nine, but whenever I'm home and I
walk in my mom's room, it does feel weird, right,
because it's like.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
I know, that's her sanctuary, it's her very personal space,
as it should be.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, And if I think that goes beyond the parent,
it's just a teaching What really, what they're teaching you
is you respect other people's spaces stuff. You know, So
our bathroom, my parents' bathroom wasn't off limits per se.
It was just that I think they wanted us to
learn to share ours because if they needed their bathroom,
they needed their bathroom. But you know, it's I have
a brother and a sister, and there was a two

(02:14):
bathroom house and if one bathroom was full, you went
and used the other bathroom. That was never that was
never an issue. But if you were going to you know,
stop the shower or something like that, anything that would
you know, you just as a courtesy, would ask in advance.
And the parents' bedroom thing was that was never a problem.
You just didn't mess with their stuff, you know, correctly
bucking in.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
So bring it back up because I think that's a
beautiful thing. And I hope we did that with our girls,
although our girls on it, if we're being honest, they
had they had more run of our home than they
should have.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Back in getting shirts out of my dresser and stuff
like that was the nothing wrong with that. I think
that's kind of fun.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
And how did they just did We never really thought
about areas where they It just happens naturally. You don't
go into parenting with your plan hopefully this is going
to happen. You just you just figure it out one
day at a time. And I know that we had Murphy, Well,
you definitely had electronic rules.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
Yeah, right, Jody, don't touch these.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
I do think it's rules for the kids were fine.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, except that time Phoebe broke your video camera, your
old cam quarder.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
You know, I remember that. It's so scary she was,
she was mortified, but it was just it was just
a camera. At some point, you know what I mean,
when they were little, little you're trying to teach them
to respect things only because well, I mean, as they
get older and they paid money and they work hard
to buy things, they need to take care of their stuff,
and so they need to learn that, you know, at

(03:43):
an early age. I think my dad was probably a
little over the top with a lot of that, which
is where it came from. Bea sam what you were
saying walking into your mother's bedroom. I remember literally the
first time that me and my brother and sister walked
into my dad's house after he had passed, and we
had waited probably be four weeks before we decided to
go in and Okay, it's time to start doing something

(04:04):
with the stuff. You felt bad touching any of the
stuff because.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
You had been your whole life their stuff.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
They're not here anymore, but it's still right that you
know that that thing.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
So it was very beautiful that that kind of respect
that you feel inside of you can live on. It
was instilled in you in by them when you were
a kid, and I think that it's beautiful to still
respect your parents at that same level when you are
an adult and the relationship changes and you're in a
caregiving situation, which you were toward the end of his life, Murphy.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
You know, And one of the one of the rules was,
and this probably doesn't happen in many households, one of
the many rules was you don't touch the motorcycle, which
was in the house, by the way, is his first
motorcycle that he bought when he was in high school
in nineteen sixty was he kept it in the house
until we had a storage but you know building outside
that they were able to put it in to, you know,

(04:57):
for safe keeping. But he literally we didn't have a
garage which just had a carport, so he didn't want
to leave that thing out in the elements. And it
has stayed inside to this day, and that one still
when we put that on the truck. My sister has
that motorcycle in her house by the way right now.

Speaker 4 (05:14):
It's so good.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
When we loaded that thing up, you wouldn't have you
couldn't have seen four people be more careful and cautious,
and it was you know, and by this point, my
dad's been gone a couple of years. But yeah, so
you didn't then mess with that. You certainly didn't mess
with the corvette, which we just recently sold, even though
it was covered and didn't run. And if you were

(05:35):
going out the back door, which is where the vet was,
you had to be very careful because you weren't going
to bump into that thing either. We learned all those things,
you know what I mean. He was really he was
very you know, and you know what the other thing was,
and this is all hitting me now. Yeah, he was
insanely protective of vinyl meaning music, Yeah, because vinyl scratches,

(05:58):
you know what I mean, and if you don't carefully
clean the record and put the record on the needle
and all that kind of stuff. So I mean, I
made sure that when I took and I still to
this day now that i'm back into some vinyl again,
when I'm pulling things out of the sleeve or whatever,
I'm treating it with like extreme caution.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
What you're talking about could have gone to the extremes
in a very unhealthy way. Yeah, But you, But but
it wasn't. It sounds a little bit like it like
you walk carefully past the corvette and you don't scratch this,
and you don't scratch that. That would be a very
hard place for a child to grow up. Like a
child does not need to live in a house that's
like a museum.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
They don't. They need to be able to be kids
and you are.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, So it sounds you know, but I think it's
a It was a It sounds like a very good
balance of just learning to respect things, which is why
you do take care of your things, you know, to
this day.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, and my dad, I mean, my dad really was.
He liked to take care of things. But what it
was rooted in was the fact that, you know, his dad,
his parents grew up in the Great Depression, working very hard.
My dad very hard blue collar worker all of his life.
And you know, when you work that hard for something
and you buy something you wanted to last and you

(07:07):
want to and you have to take care of it
because you may or may not be able to afford
to replace it or whatever. So it came from really
not an obsessive place, I don't know, it was came
from a good place.

Speaker 4 (07:17):
I think it's lovely.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
I mean, like I said, I'm not saying we made
mistakes with our girls, but I don't remember them being
our I don't think our bedroom and bathroom were off
limits to them, and I kind of and I when
I looked back at my house.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Was too small for it.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Right when they were little, we were running into each other.
We were you couldn't turn around without and then we
had dogs. We complicated our lives, but it was fine,
it was fun, it was fantastic. They love that house.
But we never set those rules into place. And when
I look back on my childhood, the whole you don't
use your I never used my parents' bathroom without their permission,

(07:59):
and I respect that to this day.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
I respect.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
I'm glad they taught me that lesson for just whatever reason,
just to respect people and their spaces.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
The other thing that we were clamped down on me
and my brother was anything in dad's shed. Oh yeah, yeah, yes,
if you wanted to use a tool, you had to
ask and you were told to put it back where
you got it.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
Of course that brought up a lot of his dad
looking But yeah, to this day, I mean granted, I'm
a grown up now, but everything I use I put
back where.

Speaker 4 (08:34):
It goes correct.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
That's also about not just respecting things materialistic things, but
a person's a person's reverie and space. Because my dad
had a shed too, and now I look back on
it, it was his man cave. He was in there working
on things, building things, and he kept it and we
if we ever went in there, it was like to
help him, and we were very careful of things. And

(08:57):
that's about respecting, you know, someone's need to escape a
little bit in their own life. Yeah, which you know
parents do have, working parents have that need.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Well, you know, it's it's like anything. Times change, And
I think we talked about this, you know, on the
on the show, most the average home was three bedroom,
two bath home. And those houses that were built in
the fifties and the sixties and really the early seventies,
I guess, but really mainly the fifties and the sixties,
it was two bathrooms. One that was the all used

(09:31):
bathroom and then the other was just part of the
master suite. So I think that's kind of where that
came from. That's why that's their bathroom. It's attached to
the master bedroom. Yeah, and the bathroom that everyone else
used was that. And and you know, when you don't
have more bathrooms than that, you don't you don't think
any differently. So of course you're going to go ask
permission for the you know, for the other things. But
in our house, my childhood home, which my dad lived

(09:54):
in until the day that he passed, was all I
think it was all of maybe thirteen hundred and fifty
square feet or something like that. And so when my
dad wanted to this opens up others. It's going to say, well,
my dad wanted to relax. He drank a lot until
he was sober. He was dry for thirty years after

(10:15):
he got sober, you know. But his his relaxation was
in the living room on a recliner in front of
the TV. And then we had to be somewhere else.
It was either going to be our bedrooms or the
kitchen or whatever. We just could be making a lot
of noise. That was my whole My dad's whole thing
is he just wanted some quoiment. There was no escape

(10:35):
and that sort of thing. He wasn't the kind of
person who was going to retreat to the bedroom or
anything like that. He wanted to sit in the living
room relax, and that's all we had. The house again
was so small that it was built with the living
room and a den, but it was there were only
three bedrooms. My brother and I shared the same bedroom,
and my sister had her own. But eventually when we

(10:58):
needed our own, they put a all up in the
living room and half of that became my bedroom.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
It created a room for you.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
The other half became the you know, the Freyway, later
known as the Nascar Room once my mom was into that.
But anyway, so the house was so tight. My point
is there was no you can't There were no little
escape nooks or anything like that. But we spent most
of our time outside anyway.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
You know, we all do that no matter what size
house we live in. And you don't even realize that
that's what you're doing. I don't know if that's true
for you, Sam, If you now that you you know
you live by yourself, but we all have little I
escape Where do you?

Speaker 4 (11:36):
Where do I escape into? Murph?

Speaker 1 (11:39):
The family room?

Speaker 4 (11:40):
Really the bedroom? Mostly?

Speaker 2 (11:41):
Oh yeah, I do both, but my favorite reverie and
escape is into our bedroom. Yes, and you're you're like
in your man cave doing your electronics or whatever you're doing,
and you don't even realize that's what you're doing, but
you're finding a little reverie for yourself. And they say,
that's why it's a trend in home design now for

(12:02):
people to have their little nap nooks or reading nooks,
places where they sort of escape but don't go full
to bed, but just stop for their downtime or nap
spaces wherever it may be.

Speaker 4 (12:14):
That's why it's a thing you.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Can share with us. We'd love to hear from you too.
Hit us up on Facebook or Instagram. If you're listening
to the podcast on the iHeartRadio app, you can also
hit the talkback mic and send us a message. We'd
love to hear from you.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
Missed any part of the show. Get it All on
the Murphy Salmon Jody Podcast.
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