June 10, 2024 • 17 mins
Murphy did some really good self work at his retreat! Here are his 2 big takeaways.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Jody after the Show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Murphy's back from his weekend a new man.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I am, do I look different.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Today?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Thanks?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Shakes it nice?
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm just complimenting.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Actually, that was one of my takeaways from the retreats.
Work on Hair Better Hair presentation number four. I uh,
you know, I do this annual retreat just to sort
of like a mental reset. You know, when you go
day after day after day doing the same thing, same routine.
And routine is good, but you know, if you don't
actually make a deliberate stop to really take a look at, Okay,
(00:39):
what do I want to be focused on, you know,
what I would like to have done at the end
of the year. It's almost zoom out. Yeah, I mean
to me, it's not. It's it's kind of like a
New Year's resolution on steroids because in June, right, because
you're really zooming way out and you and you're making
a commitment to yourself and just a few things, and
so I try to just come away with one or
(00:59):
two things that you know will be a different thing.
You know that it and I may not find something
new every year. That's one thing I realized on this
on this retreat, and you don't necessarily have to because
it's the all the basics are always going to be
the most important. That's why the health part and the
exercise are still the top two for me. Nice, So
I pluw that on the trip.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
The first year was the hardest thing really because you
got to you're starting from scratch.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yeah. The first year that I did it, honestly was
because I didn't know what I was doing. It was
just nothing but random ideas, and every idea that was
coming to me, I just wrote down on literally big
pieces of paper. I mean I old schooled. The first
one I literally brought. I went to office depot and
I bought one of those big clunk chart easel type
(01:43):
things with these self adhesive like they're like huge post
it notes, and you know, and I'm sure the airbnb
that I say that love would love to know that
I stuck those all over their walls safely, didn't pull
off any paint. But anyway, I literally had an entire
living room area covered with just ran them ideas and
then you know, the next hours we're pulling those ideas
(02:04):
to together and categorize and them for you know, personal
and professional and all that, and so that's why the
first year was really, you know, the longest, but it
also felt the most productive honestly out of all of them.
Is like the massive purge.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
You know, for anyone who's just now listening to this
and you don't understand it, it's knowing who you are,
not that this wouldn't be a great exercise for everybody.
It really would be for anyone's life to zoom out,
look at your life, what's working, what would you like
to improve on? And for Murphy those that's like personal.
It's professional for sure because you're just a very driven person.
(02:40):
And then like the financial you know, and I know
that the first year there was family on the list,
meaning you wanted to do this, that and the other
thing with our girls, and so that's it's I feel
like it's the perfect thing for you. I don't know
that it's for everybody. But then again, when you think
about it, just because you're not wired that way, you know,
to set goals and make sure you're on track with
(03:00):
those goals doesn't.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Mean you couldn't benefit from doing this. Everybody could benefit
from doing this.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, and being wired is exactly what that's the whole
reason for doing it, because we're all wired a certain way.
A lot of it comes from our upbringing, Yes, a
lot of it comes from the you know, our early
early adulthood or things that we we tend to accept
things as fact, especially when we're kids. That's why you're
talking about kids being such sponges and everything. You really
wind up being hardwired with a lot of filters. And
(03:28):
you know, some that your parents give you are great
and they make you, they put you on the right path,
and they're wonderful, but there are some things that unfortunately
are the wrong filters that they put in front of
your head. They blend it being barriers for people. They
cause you to think that the world is nothing but
a bad place and that you know, I just it's well,
(03:48):
it's just there.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
It's their view. And when you become an adult, right,
you start to think for yourself.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Right, And so that's why I mean the exer You
don't have to go away for those kinds of exercises,
but just challenging yourself to think differently, or even taking
all your concerns and things which are legitimate because because
they're yours, putting them on paper and trying to look
at them as if someone else were advising you, you know.
But the uh for me that it's it's become a
little bit different, and it's important to me because I'm older.
(04:16):
You know, Jody, you and I have girls that are
now grown. They're not even living at the house. You know, well,
well they're about to try getting rid of them. Absolutely,
But you know, you but the longer that you've been
in you know, in a career, and you know, I
lost my mom eight years ago, my dad passed three
years ago, there are things that just change in your life,
(04:40):
and so it actually becomes more challenging the more set
in our ways we've become to actually stop and look
at doing something that is different. So that's the reason
that I do it. I have to stop the presses
to actually focus and make sure that I'm thinking about
things that I know I should be doing and then
actually doing them because it's so easy to think about
(05:01):
them and then just write them down and then you
go back on your business. That's another way that we
wind up being wired. The brain doesn't like stopping to
do brand new things. You know. That's the reason think
about it. The perfect analogy for me is when you're
first learning how to drive, and the very first time
that you get into a car, or if you're teaching
your kids, the very first thing you're learning is not
(05:22):
only how to drive the car, but how to respond
to the traffic around you. That's a lot of stuff
to think about it pushing the pedal, turning the wheel,
you know, adjusting this, turning on a blinker, turning on
the wipers. Oh and then, by the way, I got
to watch that for everybody else. It's all around me
the rules, right.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
But you know, as you drive the car and you
become comfortable with it, it becomes muscle memory. You don't
think about pushing the brig, you don't think about the
blinker or whatever. You can. You can do that without
thinking and it's almost autonomous. Is that the right word.
But that's the way that we live our lives. We
start to do things and we create routines and then
we literally just let it be on autopilate. An autopilot
(05:58):
is the thing that winds up being the Yeah, you
know the danger, but it really is, it's the toughest
thing to push out us. So that's why I do that.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Any surprises, any surprises this time, anything new jump at you.
Not that it has to no pressure, that's just a question.
If the answer is no, nothing new, that's fine.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
So there were I do have a couple of new
takeaways and things to think about. But I found that
it's the same thing. I get really excited about going
because you know, I just the adrenaline rush and you know,
the thought of accomplishing whatever it is I'm going to accomplish,
even if I don't know all of them, because I
didn't go into this one with excuse me, the perfect plan.
But I learned that when a couple of years ago,
(06:36):
to just let it be. You know, typically once you
start to write and let things just kind of start
to flow, eventually it will start to come together as
a as a picture. Now that's the way my brain works.
It's almost like anything any project, any any project I'm
doing for, you know, the people that we work for
or work with, or you know, I have to have
(06:57):
all the pieces there, and as I start to work
through the pieces, eventually the picture comes together, almost like
a puzzle. You know, you can't set out actually knowing.
You know, you know what you want to accomplish at
the end, but you don't really know how you're gonna
get there, and and I tend to be the type
who is very systematized, so I like the mechanics of
(07:18):
how to get there, and that becomes distracting for me.
So I had to reset myself a lot to go, Okay,
hold on a second, what do you don't try to
solve every single problem here? Which, by the way, that
was one of mine. The two I'm gonna give you
two of the takeaways. So one of them is, you know,
not every problem in front of my face is one
that I need to solve immediately. But that's the way
that I'm wired. Wow, I'm a troubleshooter by nature.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Deal for you.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And so the easiest bright shinies that come to me,
and I think y'all know that with me.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I'll stop you in your track when you start focusing
on that one thing.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Right exactly. And so it's it's pulling myself out of
the problem that doesn't need the immediate answer.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
And you know, man, that is fantastic to hear that
you kind of know that, and they're going to like,
you know, attempt, Yeah, that's a big deal.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
That deal.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
You can I give an example. There have been times.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Just so for anybody, and so we're being specific and
telling a story here.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
We were almost late.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
We were late for something one time because one of
the dogs got out of the fence before we were leaving,
and we got him back in and he had to
figure out why it had happened, and like we were
closed up, someone left it unlatched is probably what happened.
But he wanted to find out who left it unlatched
and why, and I was like, we don't have time
for that right now, we need to leave. But you know,
(08:36):
being wired like you are, probably for security, you dug
in and so thirty minutes later you figured out what
happened and we were late.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
I don't remember that.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh it sounds like Jersey.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It was a concert.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
All of them got out because someone left the latch unlocked.
And I remember having a conversation with you on the
way home, like, you know, like I wish we wouldn't
have stopped to you know, watch the you know, backyard
video for thirty minutes to figure out why. Who you know,
what happened is we had we had the dog secured,
and anyway it.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Was because you had to solve it right then.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Yeah, I guess I'm glad you brought it up because
it looks like he's got to solve it again right now.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah, I got to solve it, Like, okay, so what
was it? And when?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
What was that? You was doing some work in our
backyard left it unmatched accidentally it was not intentional.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Okay, all right, anyway, I don't remember that. Sorry, you know,
but but uh yeah, but I can believe that that happened.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Kind of a bulldog about that sort of thing, which
does make you really good in certain areas because if
there's a problem at work, if there's technical, Murphy will
find the answer. You know, he might ruin, like he
might be late, or he might whatever. Everything else might
fall to the wayside because of it, even for your
(09:54):
your own benefit.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
You know, you might not have lunch that day, but
you will figure that out.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
So your solution or working on it, you're going to
like decide is this important enough that I have to
tackle it now?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Or how it's just a mental trigger? Does it? It's
one simple question, does this need to be solved right now?
And then the answer if it's If the answer is no,
then I need to make sure that I actually capture
that in notes or something so that I do follow
up on.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
It later that that's a breakthrough for you.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
It's a it's it is my that's my total struggle
is to destroy and to realize these little things are
important because they can derail everything else that's in the plan.
Everything else that I want to accomplish is easily derailed.
If that's a habit that I continue to engage in,
makes sense, yes, and so and you know, if you
(10:42):
want to know, like the broad.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Category, why this is so good for anybody to do,
if you learn to see if we.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Could all see ourselves clearly, you know, we could all improve.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
So what I brought, what I broke my uh my
big picture items down into is as I was trying
to fill the bucket. This is what I call it.
And they wind up being the same, which is great
because they should be.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You're the same person.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah, it's you know, personal health, family, friendships, financial, continuing
education and career.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Wow, that's it and look what a successful person does. Well.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
My advice to you know, to anybody, and it's a
look everybody again, it's wired differently, not one size fits all.
But if you're the kind of person who you know,
it really enjoys what you do for a living, or
you want to continue in your career into retirement, continuing
education needs to be a part of it. There's a
reason that licensed people like doctors and you know, uh,
(11:41):
therapists and real estate agents everybody they have to insurance,
you know, agencies, everybody has continuing education. They've got to
satisfy every year to keep their permit. Well, there's a
reason for that, and so I think the same thing
goes in life. It's just a it's a personal discipline
to make sure that you're just keeping up with things.
And there's no one curriculum that you need to be
(12:04):
focused on. It's just whatever you want to continue to grow.
And so I'll give you the other the other takeaway,
which is one I've actually been working on for the
last couple of months, but I decided to write it
down and remember that this really is part of the uh,
you know, just part of the plan going forward is
(12:24):
welcoming obstacles. We tend to fight obstacles, and you know
which is human nature, right, I mean obstacles they're called
that for a reason. They get in the way and
they're frustrating. But you know, most most of us do
get hung up on obstacles, very frustrated, beat our head
against the wall, continue to you know, complain whatever that
(12:46):
this obstacle is in the way, and all that continues
to do is just drain your energy. It's a it's
a negative it's a negative feed. And the reason once
you because once you welcome the obstacle, then you actually
acknowledge it and you're probably gonna some way around it.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
My goodness.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
And but you know, but to show you how many
times I've had to tell myself different versions of that
many years ago, the very first book that I read
on any of this was called The Seven Habits of
Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, best selling book came
out in the early nineties, and and the what I laminated,
(13:22):
I actually laminated what I wrote down was this little
card that talks about, you know, stop beating your head
against the wall when you find you know that the
door is closed, there may be a window that's open,
and which is just another way of saying the same
thing that I just you know, just explained, but that's
what you also just like have to stop and catch myself,
(13:43):
Do I need to solve this problem right at the
moment I need to stop and catch myself and realize, Okay,
am I letting my energy just be sucked away by
an obstacle? Or am I going to solve the problem?
I don't know where, you know, it's it's I think
that's our perfectionist tendencies that we somehow think we're going
to solve every problem in life and about the time
that we get to be, you know, in our fifties
or sixties, that we've just cleared this massive path of
(14:05):
perfection for ourselves, when in fact, it's the other way
around if you don't really understand or learn how to
cope with the obstacles and things now as you get
older and life changes and people you love pass away
and your health starts to change. And my dad used
to say it, and it's the truth. None of us
are getting out of here alive. It's the truth. And
(14:26):
so for me, it really all comes down to if
I were trying to make myself better and it's going
to be a continuous work, that's because that's what it is,
is that I know now I'm on the back half
of my life, you know, I don't want to waste
it in angst and anger and stress and other people's
(14:47):
problems and anything else that is really not relevant to
who I am or the quality of my life. That's
the danger to me of things like social media and
you know, so many things. We have become a society
consumed with all the things that are around us and
what other people do, instead of just really just focusing
(15:09):
on ourselves and enjoying the quality of life that we have.
Because none of us are guaranteed how long it's going
to be. I hope I'm here for a long time.
But the one thing that's for sure is none of
us are going to be here forever.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
So you understand what you are laying down here is
very inspiring, missus Church. This is so inspiring what you're doing,
what you're saying, Well, this is.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Your best takeaway yet. This is the fifth year you've
done this, fourth year.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
This is the best one yet so far. From what
I'm hearing, Really, it's crazy good.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Was there anything specifically addressed about handling Jody going forward?
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Hold on, let me look at my our notes here
and see hand Yeah, actually handling. Well, I'm planning another
getaway weekend, but I believe it's week.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I'll take it.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I do have a serious question when you're doing all
of this, do you is it pen and paper? Are
you typing as you go?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
It's everything? Oh okay, I am a train wreck when
it comes to organization of that kind of stuff. You'll
know that. But it depends on Sometimes the pen to
paper is the only way the ideas will flow. The
electronic stuff is so that I don't forget or lose it,
you know, and I capture it that way. Nice, there's
not a it's weird the typing thing. I can type
a note to somebody and the creative creativity works that way.
(16:25):
But the brainstorm has got to be my hand moving
along a piece of paper that somehow creates that physical
connection you know, in my brain. So yeah, so I
had literally I had one suitcase just full of notebooks,
I pad, laptop and all of that. Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I wondered where you were going with all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Did your brainy close?
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yes? Actually, but I didn't bring enough poss I had
to rewar the same shirt twice.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, you left one start hanging in the laundry room.
I saw that.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Anyway, you are just look at you becoming a better
man for yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Version of it it's a day by day thing. Hope
it helps somebody missed any part of the show.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Get it all on the Murphy, Salmon Jody podcast.
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Jody after the Show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Murphy's back from his weekend a new man.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I am, do I look different.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Today?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Thanks?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Shakes it nice?
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm just complimenting.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Actually, that was one of my takeaways from the retreats.
Work on Hair Better Hair presentation number four. I uh,
you know, I do this annual retreat just to sort
of like a mental reset. You know, when you go
day after day after day doing the same thing, same routine.
And routine is good, but you know, if you don't
actually make a deliberate stop to really take a look at, Okay,
(00:39):
what do I want to be focused on, you know,
what I would like to have done at the end
of the year. It's almost zoom out. Yeah, I mean
to me, it's not. It's it's kind of like a
New Year's resolution on steroids because in June, right, because
you're really zooming way out and you and you're making
a commitment to yourself and just a few things, and
so I try to just come away with one or
(00:59):
two things that you know will be a different thing.
You know that it and I may not find something
new every year. That's one thing I realized on this
on this retreat, and you don't necessarily have to because
it's the all the basics are always going to be
the most important. That's why the health part and the
exercise are still the top two for me. Nice, So
I pluw that on the trip.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
The first year was the hardest thing really because you
got to you're starting from scratch.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yeah. The first year that I did it, honestly was
because I didn't know what I was doing. It was
just nothing but random ideas, and every idea that was
coming to me, I just wrote down on literally big
pieces of paper. I mean I old schooled. The first
one I literally brought. I went to office depot and
I bought one of those big clunk chart easel type
(01:43):
things with these self adhesive like they're like huge post
it notes, and you know, and I'm sure the airbnb
that I say that love would love to know that
I stuck those all over their walls safely, didn't pull
off any paint. But anyway, I literally had an entire
living room area covered with just ran them ideas and
then you know, the next hours we're pulling those ideas
(02:04):
to together and categorize and them for you know, personal
and professional and all that, and so that's why the
first year was really, you know, the longest, but it
also felt the most productive honestly out of all of them.
Is like the massive purge.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
You know, for anyone who's just now listening to this
and you don't understand it, it's knowing who you are,
not that this wouldn't be a great exercise for everybody.
It really would be for anyone's life to zoom out,
look at your life, what's working, what would you like
to improve on? And for Murphy those that's like personal.
It's professional for sure because you're just a very driven person.
(02:40):
And then like the financial you know, and I know
that the first year there was family on the list,
meaning you wanted to do this, that and the other
thing with our girls, and so that's it's I feel
like it's the perfect thing for you. I don't know
that it's for everybody. But then again, when you think
about it, just because you're not wired that way, you know,
to set goals and make sure you're on track with
(03:00):
those goals doesn't.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Mean you couldn't benefit from doing this. Everybody could benefit
from doing this.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, and being wired is exactly what that's the whole
reason for doing it, because we're all wired a certain way.
A lot of it comes from our upbringing, Yes, a
lot of it comes from the you know, our early
early adulthood or things that we we tend to accept
things as fact, especially when we're kids. That's why you're
talking about kids being such sponges and everything. You really
wind up being hardwired with a lot of filters. And
(03:28):
you know, some that your parents give you are great
and they make you, they put you on the right path,
and they're wonderful, but there are some things that unfortunately
are the wrong filters that they put in front of
your head. They blend it being barriers for people. They
cause you to think that the world is nothing but
a bad place and that you know, I just it's well,
(03:48):
it's just there.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
It's their view. And when you become an adult, right,
you start to think for yourself.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Right, And so that's why I mean the exer You
don't have to go away for those kinds of exercises,
but just challenging yourself to think differently, or even taking
all your concerns and things which are legitimate because because
they're yours, putting them on paper and trying to look
at them as if someone else were advising you, you know.
But the uh for me that it's it's become a
little bit different, and it's important to me because I'm older.
(04:16):
You know, Jody, you and I have girls that are
now grown. They're not even living at the house. You know, well,
well they're about to try getting rid of them. Absolutely,
But you know, you but the longer that you've been
in you know, in a career, and you know, I
lost my mom eight years ago, my dad passed three
years ago, there are things that just change in your life,
(04:40):
and so it actually becomes more challenging the more set
in our ways we've become to actually stop and look
at doing something that is different. So that's the reason
that I do it. I have to stop the presses
to actually focus and make sure that I'm thinking about
things that I know I should be doing and then
actually doing them because it's so easy to think about
(05:01):
them and then just write them down and then you
go back on your business. That's another way that we
wind up being wired. The brain doesn't like stopping to
do brand new things. You know. That's the reason think
about it. The perfect analogy for me is when you're
first learning how to drive, and the very first time
that you get into a car, or if you're teaching
your kids, the very first thing you're learning is not
(05:22):
only how to drive the car, but how to respond
to the traffic around you. That's a lot of stuff
to think about it pushing the pedal, turning the wheel,
you know, adjusting this, turning on a blinker, turning on
the wipers. Oh and then, by the way, I got
to watch that for everybody else. It's all around me
the rules, right.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
But you know, as you drive the car and you
become comfortable with it, it becomes muscle memory. You don't
think about pushing the brig, you don't think about the
blinker or whatever. You can. You can do that without
thinking and it's almost autonomous. Is that the right word.
But that's the way that we live our lives. We
start to do things and we create routines and then
we literally just let it be on autopilate. An autopilot
(05:58):
is the thing that winds up being the Yeah, you
know the danger, but it really is, it's the toughest
thing to push out us. So that's why I do that.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Any surprises, any surprises this time, anything new jump at you.
Not that it has to no pressure, that's just a question.
If the answer is no, nothing new, that's fine.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
So there were I do have a couple of new
takeaways and things to think about. But I found that
it's the same thing. I get really excited about going
because you know, I just the adrenaline rush and you know,
the thought of accomplishing whatever it is I'm going to accomplish,
even if I don't know all of them, because I
didn't go into this one with excuse me, the perfect plan.
But I learned that when a couple of years ago,
(06:36):
to just let it be. You know, typically once you
start to write and let things just kind of start
to flow, eventually it will start to come together as
a as a picture. Now that's the way my brain works.
It's almost like anything any project, any any project I'm
doing for, you know, the people that we work for
or work with, or you know, I have to have
(06:57):
all the pieces there, and as I start to work
through the pieces, eventually the picture comes together, almost like
a puzzle. You know, you can't set out actually knowing.
You know, you know what you want to accomplish at
the end, but you don't really know how you're gonna
get there, and and I tend to be the type
who is very systematized, so I like the mechanics of
(07:18):
how to get there, and that becomes distracting for me.
So I had to reset myself a lot to go, Okay,
hold on a second, what do you don't try to
solve every single problem here? Which, by the way, that
was one of mine. The two I'm gonna give you
two of the takeaways. So one of them is, you know,
not every problem in front of my face is one
that I need to solve immediately. But that's the way
that I'm wired. Wow, I'm a troubleshooter by nature.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Deal for you.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And so the easiest bright shinies that come to me,
and I think y'all know that with me.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I'll stop you in your track when you start focusing
on that one thing.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Right exactly. And so it's it's pulling myself out of
the problem that doesn't need the immediate answer.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
And you know, man, that is fantastic to hear that
you kind of know that, and they're going to like,
you know, attempt, Yeah, that's a big deal.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
That deal.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
You can I give an example. There have been times.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Just so for anybody, and so we're being specific and
telling a story here.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
We were almost late.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
We were late for something one time because one of
the dogs got out of the fence before we were leaving,
and we got him back in and he had to
figure out why it had happened, and like we were
closed up, someone left it unlatched is probably what happened.
But he wanted to find out who left it unlatched
and why, and I was like, we don't have time
for that right now, we need to leave. But you know,
(08:36):
being wired like you are, probably for security, you dug
in and so thirty minutes later you figured out what
happened and we were late.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
I don't remember that.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh it sounds like Jersey.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It was a concert.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
All of them got out because someone left the latch unlocked.
And I remember having a conversation with you on the
way home, like, you know, like I wish we wouldn't
have stopped to you know, watch the you know, backyard
video for thirty minutes to figure out why. Who you know,
what happened is we had we had the dog secured,
and anyway it.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Was because you had to solve it right then.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Yeah, I guess I'm glad you brought it up because
it looks like he's got to solve it again right now.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah, I got to solve it, Like, okay, so what
was it? And when?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
What was that? You was doing some work in our
backyard left it unmatched accidentally it was not intentional.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Okay, all right, anyway, I don't remember that. Sorry, you know,
but but uh yeah, but I can believe that that happened.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Kind of a bulldog about that sort of thing, which
does make you really good in certain areas because if
there's a problem at work, if there's technical, Murphy will
find the answer. You know, he might ruin, like he
might be late, or he might whatever. Everything else might
fall to the wayside because of it, even for your
(09:54):
your own benefit.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
You know, you might not have lunch that day, but
you will figure that out.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
So your solution or working on it, you're going to
like decide is this important enough that I have to
tackle it now?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Or how it's just a mental trigger? Does it? It's
one simple question, does this need to be solved right now?
And then the answer if it's If the answer is no,
then I need to make sure that I actually capture
that in notes or something so that I do follow
up on.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
It later that that's a breakthrough for you.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
It's a it's it is my that's my total struggle
is to destroy and to realize these little things are
important because they can derail everything else that's in the plan.
Everything else that I want to accomplish is easily derailed.
If that's a habit that I continue to engage in,
makes sense, yes, and so and you know, if you
(10:42):
want to know, like the broad.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Category, why this is so good for anybody to do,
if you learn to see if we.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Could all see ourselves clearly, you know, we could all improve.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
So what I brought, what I broke my uh my
big picture items down into is as I was trying
to fill the bucket. This is what I call it.
And they wind up being the same, which is great
because they should be.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You're the same person.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah, it's you know, personal health, family, friendships, financial, continuing
education and career.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Wow, that's it and look what a successful person does. Well.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
My advice to you know, to anybody, and it's a
look everybody again, it's wired differently, not one size fits all.
But if you're the kind of person who you know,
it really enjoys what you do for a living, or
you want to continue in your career into retirement, continuing
education needs to be a part of it. There's a
reason that licensed people like doctors and you know, uh,
(11:41):
therapists and real estate agents everybody they have to insurance,
you know, agencies, everybody has continuing education. They've got to
satisfy every year to keep their permit. Well, there's a
reason for that, and so I think the same thing
goes in life. It's just a it's a personal discipline
to make sure that you're just keeping up with things.
And there's no one curriculum that you need to be
(12:04):
focused on. It's just whatever you want to continue to grow.
And so I'll give you the other the other takeaway,
which is one I've actually been working on for the
last couple of months, but I decided to write it
down and remember that this really is part of the uh,
you know, just part of the plan going forward is
(12:24):
welcoming obstacles. We tend to fight obstacles, and you know
which is human nature, right, I mean obstacles they're called
that for a reason. They get in the way and
they're frustrating. But you know, most most of us do
get hung up on obstacles, very frustrated, beat our head
against the wall, continue to you know, complain whatever that
(12:46):
this obstacle is in the way, and all that continues
to do is just drain your energy. It's a it's
a negative it's a negative feed. And the reason once
you because once you welcome the obstacle, then you actually
acknowledge it and you're probably gonna some way around it.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
My goodness.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
And but you know, but to show you how many
times I've had to tell myself different versions of that
many years ago, the very first book that I read
on any of this was called The Seven Habits of
Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, best selling book came
out in the early nineties, and and the what I laminated,
(13:22):
I actually laminated what I wrote down was this little
card that talks about, you know, stop beating your head
against the wall when you find you know that the
door is closed, there may be a window that's open,
and which is just another way of saying the same
thing that I just you know, just explained, but that's
what you also just like have to stop and catch myself,
(13:43):
Do I need to solve this problem right at the
moment I need to stop and catch myself and realize, Okay,
am I letting my energy just be sucked away by
an obstacle? Or am I going to solve the problem?
I don't know where, you know, it's it's I think
that's our perfectionist tendencies that we somehow think we're going
to solve every problem in life and about the time
that we get to be, you know, in our fifties
or sixties, that we've just cleared this massive path of
(14:05):
perfection for ourselves, when in fact, it's the other way
around if you don't really understand or learn how to
cope with the obstacles and things now as you get
older and life changes and people you love pass away
and your health starts to change. And my dad used
to say it, and it's the truth. None of us
are getting out of here alive. It's the truth. And
(14:26):
so for me, it really all comes down to if
I were trying to make myself better and it's going
to be a continuous work, that's because that's what it is,
is that I know now I'm on the back half
of my life, you know, I don't want to waste
it in angst and anger and stress and other people's
(14:47):
problems and anything else that is really not relevant to
who I am or the quality of my life. That's
the danger to me of things like social media and
you know, so many things. We have become a society
consumed with all the things that are around us and
what other people do, instead of just really just focusing
(15:09):
on ourselves and enjoying the quality of life that we have.
Because none of us are guaranteed how long it's going
to be. I hope I'm here for a long time.
But the one thing that's for sure is none of
us are going to be here forever.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
So you understand what you are laying down here is
very inspiring, missus Church. This is so inspiring what you're doing,
what you're saying, Well, this is.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Your best takeaway yet. This is the fifth year you've
done this, fourth year.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
This is the best one yet so far. From what
I'm hearing, Really, it's crazy good.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Was there anything specifically addressed about handling Jody going forward?
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Hold on, let me look at my our notes here
and see hand Yeah, actually handling. Well, I'm planning another
getaway weekend, but I believe it's week.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I'll take it.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I do have a serious question when you're doing all
of this, do you is it pen and paper? Are
you typing as you go?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
It's everything? Oh okay, I am a train wreck when
it comes to organization of that kind of stuff. You'll
know that. But it depends on Sometimes the pen to
paper is the only way the ideas will flow. The
electronic stuff is so that I don't forget or lose it,
you know, and I capture it that way. Nice, there's
not a it's weird the typing thing. I can type
a note to somebody and the creative creativity works that way.
(16:25):
But the brainstorm has got to be my hand moving
along a piece of paper that somehow creates that physical
connection you know, in my brain. So yeah, so I
had literally I had one suitcase just full of notebooks,
I pad, laptop and all of that. Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I wondered where you were going with all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Did your brainy close?
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yes? Actually, but I didn't bring enough poss I had
to rewar the same shirt twice.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, you left one start hanging in the laundry room.
I saw that.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Anyway, you are just look at you becoming a better
man for yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Version of it it's a day by day thing. Hope
it helps somebody missed any part of the show.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Get it all on the Murphy, Salmon Jody podcast.
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