February 8, 2025 • 30 mins
Are breakups harder on men?
What your 2nd child teaches you.
How Sam's Mom, Ms. Judy, got a ticket to the Super Bowl.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Jody Weekend Replay Podcast. Twelve
of our favorite moments from this past week enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Would you believe it if I told you that breaking
up is harder to do, is harder, harder on men
than it is on women. Oh, I believe it, really,
I believe. I don't believe anybody fits into a box.
Though we want to say that to start this conversation.
I'm sure there are plenty of breakups that are really
hard on the lady in the relationship, but I totally
(00:31):
believe that men take it harder than women.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Okay, you're gon have to explain because I'm looking at
it as women are more emotional, so I would think
women would take it harder.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
Yeah, well, there's this.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
There's been a study that's been done and they concluded
that men take it harder.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
And the reasons do not surprise me. Number one guys rejection, Well,
I was, rejection is a part of it. Men do
not handle rejection.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah, here's here's here's I'm going to break it down
for you. More than so, seventy percent of relationships that
break up and divorces are initiated by women. So by
the time she's done, she's been thinking about it for
a long time. By the time a woman leaves a relationship,
it's not a surprise.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
She has known that she wants out.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Well, and sometimes the circumstances are not great, and it's
the reason that she needs to exit.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
But what I'm saying is how often does it come
as a surprise to a man that, wait, we're not
going to stick this out. That's something that's at play,
something else that I feel is at play. It's not
based on the study.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
This is just me there we go off the script.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Well, there is that part of Women are more emotional,
and so if there's a problem going, she's carried it
for longer. She's also worked through and thinking ahead to
what will tomorrow be if she's not there anymore. So
she's more ready for the change and transition than he is.
Men are more susceptible, according to this study, to loneliness
(01:57):
after They suffer more after.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
See that women, you know, it's anybody who isolates after,
which was kind of what you have a tendency to
want to do, correct your spot.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
You're wounded. Women are more social.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
They have their support system of other women and friends,
to help them through it, and men are more likely
to go inward.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Well, and that's where you know, I mean, counseling can
be of help. And there's still some people who are
resistant to counseling because they see that as you know,
I'm failing or whatever, and that's not a counsel you
need it.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Value.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I think the other thing that is not mentioned in study,
but I think is at play here. I feel like
for men, being in a steady relationship is almost like
a status symbol, and so it changes the way they
see themselves as well.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Does that make sense? As I don't know, I don't.
I didn't say that very contented single person, Sam.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
So right now, when you become a parent and you
have littles at home, if you have more than one,
if you have a second child, that second baby comes
along and teaches you things you didn't know you were
supposed to learn.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
And here it is.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I bring it up because today is our baby's birthday.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Phoebe. Phoebe Phoebes is twenty years old today. It hurts
to say it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, and I will never forget these memories that rush
back to me when when it's her birthday when I
think of her when she was little. One of them
happened right after she was born. Murphy, I've told you
this story before. It's very personal. I was in recovery
after having a sea section, and I thought, man, I've
done this before, give me my ice chips. I felt confident.
(03:42):
You know, it went well, She's healthy. I know what
I'm doing. I remember going I'm going to go home
with a baby for several weeks, and I know what
I'm doing. I got this, I think I said that
to the nurse, you know, and little did I know
that this child was completely different on our first one, Taylor.
So I had nothing. I got this, no, no, no,
(04:04):
I had nothing. And I remember having a similar thought
that day we brought her from home from the hospital.
Just a couple of days later, was sitting on the
floor of our small, tiny, little first house with her
in my arms. Taylor's running around, You're running around, and
I look down at her and I was like, I
know what I'm doing this time. I know I'm not
going to be sleeping. You know. I was lying to
myself that this was going to be the same. So
(04:26):
you have a confidence of Okay, I've done it before,
So it's not a blank you know page, completely different child.
You know, she just she was always on me. I
was the only thing she ever wanted for like two
years of her life. And it's not a complaint, it's
just wow. And that continued to happen different personalities.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
It just shows that it's not about it's not just
about your approach to it. No, the personality of the
child is different.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yeah, there's so much that you do.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
You do learn a lot the first time, but you
could have ten children and they would all be different
and all challenge you as a parent in different ways.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Sam, You've got five different ones and they're all different.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
You got five, there's always somebody with an issue going on.
That's the thing too. As a parent, it's like you
never saw I got your issue solved?
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Good?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Oh wait this one over here, you'll herd and cats.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
It's a job that never ends, but it's fantastic. Happy birthday.
Feeds one of our absolute heroes around here, and make
no mistake, probably the coolest person we know.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Sam's mom, Miss Judy.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I thought you're gonna say me will be.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
At the super Bowl this week? Well you are connected.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah, she's she works you know, as an usher at
the Dome at Superdome events and also at the Smoothie
King Center, so she that does include the Super Bowl.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
She also worked the eRASS Tour last year.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, all three nights by the way, you know, because
she does work the club and sweet areas, Like, are
you going to run into her, Taylor, and she goes,
oh no, no, no, he's going to be up in
the expensive suites.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Yeah, and your mom doesn't work the expensive.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Works the club level. That's the ones where they have
like the high chairs and the bar in front of
you or the corner in front of.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
She really earned the right to work at the Big Sweet.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I'm about to say, Judy, I think you need for
your right here.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
You've been there a long time.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
The great experience, except for this old lady who kept bothering.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Okay, okay, But she.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Did say that the thing she's looking forward to the most,
And this surprised me because I didn't know she was
a fan is seeing Patrick Mahomes in person. Not in
person as in high past, but yeah, seeing him play
in person. Right, That's what the real reason she said
that she wants to work it. And she did say
that the NFL is giving them a souvenir jacket. Oh yeah,
(06:46):
they have to go before the game over to a
hotel and get a T shirt that has their section
on it. So I guess you know, like, wait, where
am I working? It's on your shirt?
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Right?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
And then they give her a souvenir jacket that they
said is they They told her it's a collector's item,
So that's.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
What she wants to do, it is Does she know
any Is it cool? Look? I mean I'm hoping it's
not some sort of shiny old.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Little got miss Judy on the back.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
No, I don't know. That's so cool. Yeah, she had
to give them her size ahead of time or something.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Like that, and yeah, I don't know all that. And
then she said afterwards that they they're gonna they have
to park far away and then they bust them in
and bust them out. And she said, so by the
time she gets home, it'll be after midnight. Yeah, and
she has to get up and work at the preschool
the next day. See eighty five years old.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, you know another example of why you need the
day off after Super Bowl exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Especially your mom. But man, talk about if you think
you're tired. Miss Judy is killing it. Yeah yeah, game
bay Grub recipes online for you for this weekend or
any fun weeknight with the family at murphysamon Jody dot
com and look, we're always open and game to talk
(07:56):
about food everything from oh yeah, you know, coffee creamer
in your own oat meal, whatever you want to see,
cheese fries in the air frier you bring it. So
eight seven seven three one zero four ms.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
J, what's going on to cool?
Speaker 5 (08:11):
I was just calling about the creamer and it's not
in a different food. I've used it, notemeal and it's amazing,
by the way. But if you can get like the
flavor guess we're talking about flavored. If you can find
the blueberry coffee and put the blueberry creamer.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Oh stop it it is so good. I have not
seen either.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
It tastes it usually like I found them around between
Thanksgiving and Christmas because dunkin Donuts did blueberry coffee. So
you can get the McDonald's macafe, blueberry coffee cups K
cups or the Duncan. But if you can find the
blueberry creamer to plan in it, it is taste like
a blueberry.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
Literally, it's funny. That you're saying this, because guess what.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
I just finally tried the almonds that are blueberry flavor,
and I remember thinking this is weird. This was I
didn't buy it right away because I thought it would
be weird. They're fantastic. It's like eating a crunchy blueberry.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Yes, and my kid told me just try it. I promise,
just try it. And I did, and it is so good.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
I know things that you don't.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
It's so exciting when you when you discover something that
tastes really good that you didn't.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
I don't know. It's just one of those sweet things
in life.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Yeah, look at it and go, I don't know, okay,
and it's really good. Cool, Thank you.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
We appreciate the call.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I guess blueberry is a thing right now because we
just got the Doctor Pepper zero.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
That's BlackBerry, oh, BlackBerry. I'm sorry, mix it up there.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
They're good doctor pepper, Doctor Pepper BlackBerry zero. Now salm
and I still want coconut.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Now, we want more coconut. I mean, did they take
that one off the shelves? Yeah, limited time only.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
We've been searching for months. So this is coke.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Guy at the store. He's like Yeah, that was just
limited time. It's gone.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Well, how about a petition online that change dot org
head over there.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
I love that blueberry having a moment to it. Just
it's just.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Amends the blue diamond almonds that Jody was talking about.
It's really weird and unexpected because when you it's not
just blueberry flavoring. It almost tastes like a blueberry muffin.
I don't know how they pulled that off. She offered
me a few and I was like, it's wild.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, all right, join us anytime, Murphy. A little warning
for you about Phoebe's birthday dinner tonight.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Are younger, Our youngest turnch twenty today, and so.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Birthdays are a big deal dill in our family, and
we always let the birthday person pick where they want
to go.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Eat to eat, and we.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Take them out to eat, and my mom comes along
and my brother they're coming, by the way.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Case, is that the warning press they're coming.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Yeah, I'm just saying that's not the warning though.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
That's a delight, of course, it's a delight. In fact,
that's exactly what I'll tell them when I see them.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
That is a delight that you've joined us.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
No, the warning is.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I had this conversation with Phoebe because I was trying
to get it out of her last night.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
You please tell me where we're going to eat.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
She gets to pick, and she always waits till the
last minute to tell us where. She She likes to
take her time with what restaurant. But she said, well, well,
I'm really thinking of this one place and I like
and she named it. I was like, yeah, that's delicious,
let's do it, she said. But she says, I need
you to understand I do not want the birthday.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Oh yes, and this is that.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Oh wait, it's a Mexican restaurant where they bring the hat.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Not only that I love the hat, this is where they.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Where they put the whipped cream and smash it in
your face. I love that.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
She does love that.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Actually, they smashed in my face and drew it around my.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
And I think they brought you a churo. Also. I
couldn't see it, but yess it though. Look it's where
she wants to eat.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
It's casual and comfortable and delicious.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You don't have to say anything. We don't have to
say it's a birthday. They say it's a special occasion. Nope, No,
just going out to eat.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
As long as my mom doesn't bring a bunch of presence.
But she means it though, and I would just I.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Just don't want you need to know. We can't. The
wait staff can because they're so sweet there.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
If they over hear, we're gonna have to keep it
on the low that it's her birthday if she chooses that,
because that's one thing I promised her that we wouldn't
do it. She made it a point to me to
say that she does not want that. I would be
upset if it happened because she would be just beat red.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Yeah, you better talk to your mom though, because I
could see somebody bringing goo balloons.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Yeah, birthday iced tea for the birthday girl. Any happy
birthday thebes. We'll see you tonight.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I have a personal question for you there, murphyus Well,
this can also apply to anyone who has children. Yeah,
and no longer drinks. Okay, do you ever have any
look back and have any regrets about time you wasted
with your kids? I mean, I know, Jody, Yeah, got it.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
That's a really good question. I don't think I got
to that place where I was doing that. I don't
think it became a replacement for my time with him,
although you know, there were times I would walk into
the bathroom, well Jody was bathing one of the girls like, hey, Jody,
this is the best Margerit to ever.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
You want to make you one? And what did I say?
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Uh no, yeah, I know, cancer, that's it. Really, it's
my dad. Did regret that my dad was spent. It's
gonna sound terrible, but he spent most of my high
school years drunk, and many years later he was sober
for thirty years.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Before he passed. But he did h He said.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
That, you know, I feel like I, you know, lost
a lot of years with you, and it's like we
had a good time with you. You were still I mean,
and he was fun to be around. Does that answer
the question you Is that something you deal with?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah? I do feel I mean, I have that regret
when I think about because it was their teenage years
and for the little ones it was there, you know,
preteen years. Think about the stuff that I missed out
on because I was more interested in drinking and sitting
around the house you know while the kids were over. Now,
we did stuff, but it's like.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
You're just saying you weren't fully present.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Yeah, I wonder how much more I could have done
and how much more full my life would have been,
or is would be.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I think that's all a part of what you guys
are going through, is it not. There's the anger and
the acceptance and all that, and I'm sure there's regret
that has to be dealt with. Yeah, And I think
talking about it is a very good step. Talking about
with Murphy is a very good idea someone else who's
in your spot.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Well.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
And the good news is you've come through it and
it's part of your past, and so the relationships you have,
know with all your kids are better than they've ever been.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
They're better, they've improved. They all knew where I was,
and I found out that, you know, they even though
I thought I was getting away with it, I knew
I wasn't when I talked to him. Now it's like
now we knew, and it's like, oh, that just adds
to it. I have an issue with the past and regret,
you know, getting over it. And I wish there was
a magic word that somebody could say, forget about it.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, there's a lot of magic word, but you do
need to learn to forgive yourself.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And acceptance doesn't mean that you approve of something. It
just means that you accept it.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
So listen to this. This is today.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Okay. If you are a fan of true crime as Jody.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Is, hey, I'm not alone in that.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, I know, I got a warning for it.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
He's the only one with a pure heart around it.
So it's not that I'm against it. I don't know.
I just it doesn't always cook me.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
You know what, what you just said there may be
really true, because I'm about to tell you what what
a psychologist said about you if you read if you
watch too.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
Much one.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, one psychologist and I went back and I researched it.
And she's been saying this for a few years now.
Sure that she cautioned against using true crime shows as
a way to unwind, suggest that there could be a
red flag for unresolved emotional issues.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Okay, I mean, is are you really unwinding when you're
watching the true crime show?
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Though? Well, it's completely different from anything else in my life.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
I can see that it's an escape, but unwinding, I
don't know' that's like saying you go to horror movies
to unwind.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Some people do, and by the way, everybody has unresolved
emotional issues.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It's the human condition.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Okay. Next, relaxing and depictions of trauma might indicate familiarity
with such experiences, but potentially signaling a need for counseling.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Oh m, okay, still hitting anyone.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I just I don't I get in true crime spreeze
where I watch and then I'm tire of it.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
So it's just a it's sort of like a hobby thing.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
And Murphy, to address your question, she says, if you
really are a big fan of and you like to
watch it before you go to bed, ask yourself, why
is trauma so relaxing to me?
Speaker 4 (16:52):
I mean, I don't find it relying. Do you find
it relaxing? No, me either. It riles me up.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
It I find it very informative.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Yes, Murphy doesn't know this. But I did start watching
another one.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Oh you finished the OJ one already, the new.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Finished the one only four episodes ago. And so I
was in that mode, and I was looking for something,
and I remember that Sam told me you gotta watch
the Fall of Diddy.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Sean did he calls facing a slew of allegation. The
biggest question for me was has this happened before. This
one's on the map.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Oh sorry, yeah, I think it's also four episodes. I
finished the first episode. Okay, I finished the first one
while having lunch yesterday, you know, unwinding.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
But do you really watch it before you go to bed?
Because I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I don't usually I have a nighttime routine that's more
soothing than that.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
But I can and it does not affect I don't think.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I get why a psychologist would want to focus on
the Okay, something may be wrong.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
Or questions, but if you're back.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
But to me, most people are not watching it too
unwide anyway, they really watched it against the intrigue. It's
that whole curiosity of like how do I protect myself
from this thing or whatever?
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Murphy, I'm gonna go with your summation. There the latest
buzz Jody's Hollywood Outsider.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Brought to you by All State.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
This decade's long story of Miagi Do and Cobra Kai
is finally coming to a close, and yesterday we got
the final trailer for season six, Part.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Three, Part three.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
I know, I know, I know, no no of Cobra Kai.
It's everybody. Ralph Macchio William Zabka.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Here you go. In the beginning, we were enemies.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
And through the years you want to finishist, We've had
our battles.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Okay, this is the final chapter. It is very Look,
I love the I love the concept. There's a lot
of story here. Is it way dramatic? Yeah, sounds like
it's way dramatic, Although major respect for the way that
they coordinate the fighting and the battles and the martial arts,
(19:05):
because you think these they're really doing it, and.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
They're probably really ninety percent doing it.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Is the whole show that dramatic or are.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
They just I mean, yeah, I'm my experience with it,
it is.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
But this is the final chapter.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Opinions Aside on Netflix, February thirteenth, And everybody who was
ever a part of that, like, I mean, the character
Ali might.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Be making.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
So Cobra Kai Final Final Final, February thirteenth. When you
are watching true crime or some sort of documentary that
you're watching about yourself, it's something that you are consuming.
I don't know if everyone's like me. If I hear
Murphy walk in the door in another part of the
house and I hear him coming toward wait, wait, I
(19:50):
hear him coming toward me in the family room and
I'm watching, for instance, like The Fall of Diddy, which
I'm watching.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Now, what do you think I do? Sam?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
You hit pause?
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Yes, why do you think I do that?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Well, it could be a number of things. You want
your own show? Yeah, or yes, you know that Murphy's
going to walk in stand there for about three minutes and.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Go what's this?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
What's this? Or ask why this is happening? And then
you got to stop and explain it.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
I love all the speculation while I'm sitting right there
listening to it.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Oh, I didn't see you, right, It's really not speculation.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
It is true you would be interested in what I
was watching, especially in that first episode and the editor
of Vibe magazine telling her story about when she first
met Diddy. I thought, I remember thinking Murphy would find
this interesting. But I'm already thirty minutes in.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
So here's the thing about that. I've learned not to
ask questions anymore. But I am very susceptible to the distraction,
So you're correct about that. I will just stand there.
I don't even make myself comfortable.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
I just will.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
You know, it's like bright shiny, and I don't even
know what this is, right, but I'm stuck, right.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
I mean, I want you to know, though it's all
obviously common for something about well, it's okay to want
your own things in life. You know, when I'm reading
a book, I'm reading a book and you can tell fine.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
This is well Murphy, you can answer this to or
confirm it. I think I don't know if Murphy would
make it through that whole series. I think Murphy would
get hit his first episode. I mean because honestly, on
the first episode it's like, Okay, this is who is
the person he is? And the other episodes just back
all that up with other examples.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Do you people, do you have the ability?
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I have not tried this because I know you can
do it on YouTube on your Can you speed it
up like one and a half times to watch it
faster on TV?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
All?
Speaker 4 (21:26):
I hope not.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I mean that'll get you through it faster. It's more efficient.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
About being more efficient, God knows, there's so much content
you don't watch it fast.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
The place I gotta get on it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I want to say this though, it's not just you.
This is not just a you know, pause it because
here comes Murphy. I've paused it when here comes Taylor,
I don't want I just.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
And here's the other thing, want company.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
And when they were younger, you're watching Game of Thrones,
you pause it sometimes on the really wrong things, go
up and plug the TV.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Sam, you had mentioned about regret yesterday. Such a positive
way to start. I regret mentioning that it's real.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I don't think you can live a full life without regret.
Well you didn't have regret. You would you're not in
tuned with yourself.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
How do you like that?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
That sounds deep?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
So this is interesting the things that people say they
regret right before the end of their lives, when people
are on the way out, the things that they honestly
say they regret. We can all learn from this and
it's not too I mean, maybe it's a little heavy,
but you want to know this right. So you're living
right wishing you would have lived your your life to
(22:42):
your true self and not doing what others expected of you.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
That's so big.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Sometimes that's tricky because you don't know who your true
self is until later.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
It's true, but how many people you know?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I'm sorry to bring up a TV show, but Don
Draper and Madman said that once was like my favorite
thing he ever said to Peggy.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
He said, is that what you want?
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Is?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Or is that what people expect of you? And I
remember pausing it, going, did you do that? That's incredible?
It's incredible.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Line true, do what you want. It is your life
and what other people expect of you. They can expect it,
but you don't have to do that. It's a good lesson. Okay,
other regrets, this is a good one too. I wish
I would have appreciated my health. Take care of your body.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Yeah, your health. Be your own advocate for your health.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
It's tough because a lot of the things that we
do create long term effects, so you don't know that
until time.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Has passed, until it's happened.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I think are mentally programmed to think, Okay, if something hurts,
don't do this right now. You're not really automatically programmed.
You've got to be deliberate when it's something that causessels.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Good Now.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
When I was a senior in high school, one of
our assignments, I don't remember which class, maybe history, was
to interview the oldest person in your family or someone
over the age of whatever.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
And of course Paupau, Yeah, you guys, remember me telling
I've ever mentioned this to you before.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
One of the questions I asked him was what would
you do differently if you could go back in time?
And I thought he was going to give me a
religious answer. He paused for a moment and said, I
wish I would have taken better care of myself. And
he had just had a major dental procedure and he
(24:24):
had not taken care of his teeth for a lot
of his life, and he threw.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
That out at me. I was seventeen years old when
he said that, because generation though, that was kind of
you know, right.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
And number three, this is so important, I want to
say for women, but it's everybody for men too. I
wish you didn't spend so much time hating my body.
Accept it, treat it good, love it.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Don't hate it.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
When you're a relatively new driver and you've never driven
through small towns, one lesson that you learn usually the
hard way.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah do you see what's kevin?
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Yeah, somebody got a ticket.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
So our youngest Phoebe went to last weekend, went to
visit her boyfriend who lives three hours away.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Now, let's just say several small towns and she took some.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Small towns and Morris Murphy got the phone call, Dad,
I got a ticket and it was in a small
town and she just was not And do you know
that two nights before when she was at the house
she was we were talking about driving, and she literally
had that conversation with us, the very human, real thing
(25:38):
of I just get so scared when there's a police
officer behind me, even though I'm not doing anything wrong.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
I just feel like, what if I get pulled over?
It's a feeling.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, yeah, it's a real thing.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Nobody wants to be pulled over now.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
And I get that paranoia too. I mean I could
be driving and it's like I would have been in
the speed limit. I'm fine, so chill, dude.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
When Phoebes called me, it reminded me of those TV
shows we'd watch as kids where the police officers are
sitting there right at the speed limit signed oh yeah,
and so that they're waiting for the speed limb to
drop twenty miles an hour and you haven't had a
chance to slow down yet.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
And that's what happened to her.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
But I also, I mean, she might have been distracted,
might have been lead foot in it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Wait, you said she was going what and a what
can we say that she was going almost fifty?
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Yeah, I mean he alleged, oh uh, she was going
we're going to fight this right. Let me tell you
Phoebe is her father's daughter. Yeah, she's a little feisty
about it.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I think he alleged that she was going forty eight
in a thirty five. But she had literally just crossed
the I mean literally crossed the city.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
And again a hard lesson to learn, one that most
of us learned the hard way. You can tell a
kid this is going to happen, be careful in the
small towns, but until it happens to you, for the
rest of her life, when she drives through that, she'll
that type of area, she'll be like.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Wait, And you know what the thing about a small town,
even though I know we make you know, fun, and
everybody knows that that's a thing, but the small is
not used to as much traffic coming through right, right,
And so it's it's a slower speed limit for safety's sake.
When all it so, I understand why they're policing it.
They're doing what they should be doing. Maybe the speed
limit should be about five miles an hour more.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Have you ever had to apologize to one of your kids,
I mean, I don't like that. Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Didn't mean to bump you. I mean, like a major,
I screwed up my fault. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
I don't know what major is.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
But we do apologize in our home when necessary.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
And it's an interesting challenge to learn as a parent
on that, because you don't want to apologize for things
that you need to be parenting for. But if it's
something as a person that you've done wrong, yeah, then
absolutely so. Yeah, I've done that a couple of times.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
I had one of those recently with my son Jackson.
You know, I went to visit him in California over
the Christmas holidays. Yeah, and we made some food together.
He wanted to cook together. And I didn't realize it,
but at the time he was recording me cooking some
stuff and he wanted to put together on TikTok how
to make this oh cool? And it never did show up.
(28:05):
And then finally it showed up. He finished it and
put it together, and when I watched it, I was horrified.
Why because of the way I talked to him in
this video really and in the present as I was
doing it, you didn't think didn't occurred to me. It's
just you know, blah blah blah. When I watched the video,
it's just like, oh my god, I cannot believe I
(28:27):
talked to you barking talking down.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
How was he reacted one of those.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Basically how dare you? That's a dumb question kind of things.
I didn't say that verbado, yeah, that kind of stuff.
And he's just going with the flow in the video.
And it made me realize, Okay, wait, he's used to it,
because obviously I've done this for a while.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Now, Jackson and I have had some issues. He's had
some personal issues the past few years, and I think
that kind of maybe tainted my I'm still not there
with him yet, yeah, fully, trusting, fully, and I think
part of it was that impatience and that. But I
wrote him a nice long letter. I didn't want to
call him this thing to me, I think was better written. Sure,
(29:13):
so I wrote him a nice long letter and send
it to him. He hasn't gotten it yet.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
It's wonderful.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
I haven't heard the response yet.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
Such a beautiful thing to do.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
And it makes me like, Okay, am I talking to
the rest of my kids this way? If you know
what do I need to fix it?
Speaker 2 (29:27):
It's just something that made you more self aware, and
becoming self aware is not something that happens one day
overnight and then you're self aware. You always are hopefully
gaining that throughout your life.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Right, And had I not watched that video, just be
bopping along the way I've been.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Doing, It's weird how that is. Video is almost worse
than an actual fear.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
It was painful to watch it.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Okay, the letter's beautiful because it can live forever. He
can take it in his own time, and he'll have
it forever.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
He'll have your apology forever.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Well, I think it's beautiful that you did that in
the The only video that I had lately of myself
that I really was disappointed in was the angle that
was shot the sun.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
It was terrible.
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Jody Weekend Replay Podcast. Twelve
of our favorite moments from this past week enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Would you believe it if I told you that breaking
up is harder to do, is harder, harder on men
than it is on women. Oh, I believe it, really,
I believe. I don't believe anybody fits into a box.
Though we want to say that to start this conversation.
I'm sure there are plenty of breakups that are really
hard on the lady in the relationship, but I totally
(00:31):
believe that men take it harder than women.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Okay, you're gon have to explain because I'm looking at
it as women are more emotional, so I would think
women would take it harder.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
Yeah, well, there's this.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
There's been a study that's been done and they concluded
that men take it harder.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
And the reasons do not surprise me. Number one guys rejection, Well,
I was, rejection is a part of it. Men do
not handle rejection.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah, here's here's here's I'm going to break it down
for you. More than so, seventy percent of relationships that
break up and divorces are initiated by women. So by
the time she's done, she's been thinking about it for
a long time. By the time a woman leaves a relationship,
it's not a surprise.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
She has known that she wants out.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Well, and sometimes the circumstances are not great, and it's
the reason that she needs to exit.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
But what I'm saying is how often does it come
as a surprise to a man that, wait, we're not
going to stick this out. That's something that's at play,
something else that I feel is at play. It's not
based on the study.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
This is just me there we go off the script.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Well, there is that part of Women are more emotional,
and so if there's a problem going, she's carried it
for longer. She's also worked through and thinking ahead to
what will tomorrow be if she's not there anymore. So
she's more ready for the change and transition than he is.
Men are more susceptible, according to this study, to loneliness
(01:57):
after They suffer more after.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
See that women, you know, it's anybody who isolates after,
which was kind of what you have a tendency to
want to do, correct your spot.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
You're wounded. Women are more social.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
They have their support system of other women and friends,
to help them through it, and men are more likely
to go inward.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Well, and that's where you know, I mean, counseling can
be of help. And there's still some people who are
resistant to counseling because they see that as you know,
I'm failing or whatever, and that's not a counsel you
need it.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Value.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I think the other thing that is not mentioned in study,
but I think is at play here. I feel like
for men, being in a steady relationship is almost like
a status symbol, and so it changes the way they
see themselves as well.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Does that make sense? As I don't know, I don't.
I didn't say that very contented single person, Sam.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
So right now, when you become a parent and you
have littles at home, if you have more than one,
if you have a second child, that second baby comes
along and teaches you things you didn't know you were
supposed to learn.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
And here it is.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I bring it up because today is our baby's birthday.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Phoebe. Phoebe Phoebes is twenty years old today. It hurts
to say it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, and I will never forget these memories that rush
back to me when when it's her birthday when I
think of her when she was little. One of them
happened right after she was born. Murphy, I've told you
this story before. It's very personal. I was in recovery
after having a sea section, and I thought, man, I've
done this before, give me my ice chips. I felt confident.
(03:42):
You know, it went well, She's healthy. I know what
I'm doing. I remember going I'm going to go home
with a baby for several weeks, and I know what
I'm doing. I got this, I think I said that
to the nurse, you know, and little did I know
that this child was completely different on our first one, Taylor.
So I had nothing. I got this, no, no, no,
(04:04):
I had nothing. And I remember having a similar thought
that day we brought her from home from the hospital.
Just a couple of days later, was sitting on the
floor of our small, tiny, little first house with her
in my arms. Taylor's running around, You're running around, and
I look down at her and I was like, I
know what I'm doing this time. I know I'm not
going to be sleeping. You know. I was lying to
myself that this was going to be the same. So
(04:26):
you have a confidence of Okay, I've done it before,
So it's not a blank you know page, completely different child.
You know, she just she was always on me. I
was the only thing she ever wanted for like two
years of her life. And it's not a complaint, it's
just wow. And that continued to happen different personalities.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
It just shows that it's not about it's not just
about your approach to it. No, the personality of the
child is different.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yeah, there's so much that you do.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
You do learn a lot the first time, but you
could have ten children and they would all be different
and all challenge you as a parent in different ways.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Sam, You've got five different ones and they're all different.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
You got five, there's always somebody with an issue going on.
That's the thing too. As a parent, it's like you
never saw I got your issue solved?
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Good?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Oh wait this one over here, you'll herd and cats.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
It's a job that never ends, but it's fantastic. Happy birthday.
Feeds one of our absolute heroes around here, and make
no mistake, probably the coolest person we know.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Sam's mom, Miss Judy.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I thought you're gonna say me will be.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
At the super Bowl this week? Well you are connected.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah, she's she works you know, as an usher at
the Dome at Superdome events and also at the Smoothie
King Center, so she that does include the Super Bowl.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
She also worked the eRASS Tour last year.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, all three nights by the way, you know, because
she does work the club and sweet areas, Like, are
you going to run into her, Taylor, and she goes,
oh no, no, no, he's going to be up in
the expensive suites.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Yeah, and your mom doesn't work the expensive.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Works the club level. That's the ones where they have
like the high chairs and the bar in front of
you or the corner in front of.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
She really earned the right to work at the Big Sweet.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I'm about to say, Judy, I think you need for
your right here.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
You've been there a long time.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
The great experience, except for this old lady who kept bothering.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Okay, okay, But she.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Did say that the thing she's looking forward to the most,
And this surprised me because I didn't know she was
a fan is seeing Patrick Mahomes in person. Not in
person as in high past, but yeah, seeing him play
in person. Right, That's what the real reason she said
that she wants to work it. And she did say
that the NFL is giving them a souvenir jacket. Oh yeah,
(06:46):
they have to go before the game over to a
hotel and get a T shirt that has their section
on it. So I guess you know, like, wait, where
am I working? It's on your shirt?
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Right?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
And then they give her a souvenir jacket that they
said is they They told her it's a collector's item,
So that's.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
What she wants to do, it is Does she know
any Is it cool? Look? I mean I'm hoping it's
not some sort of shiny old.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Little got miss Judy on the back.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
No, I don't know. That's so cool. Yeah, she had
to give them her size ahead of time or something.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Like that, and yeah, I don't know all that. And
then she said afterwards that they they're gonna they have
to park far away and then they bust them in
and bust them out. And she said, so by the
time she gets home, it'll be after midnight. Yeah, and
she has to get up and work at the preschool
the next day. See eighty five years old.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, you know another example of why you need the
day off after Super Bowl exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Especially your mom. But man, talk about if you think
you're tired. Miss Judy is killing it. Yeah yeah, game
bay Grub recipes online for you for this weekend or
any fun weeknight with the family at murphysamon Jody dot
com and look, we're always open and game to talk
(07:56):
about food everything from oh yeah, you know, coffee creamer
in your own oat meal, whatever you want to see,
cheese fries in the air frier you bring it. So
eight seven seven three one zero four ms.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
J, what's going on to cool?
Speaker 5 (08:11):
I was just calling about the creamer and it's not
in a different food. I've used it, notemeal and it's amazing,
by the way. But if you can get like the
flavor guess we're talking about flavored. If you can find
the blueberry coffee and put the blueberry creamer.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Oh stop it it is so good. I have not
seen either.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
It tastes it usually like I found them around between
Thanksgiving and Christmas because dunkin Donuts did blueberry coffee. So
you can get the McDonald's macafe, blueberry coffee cups K
cups or the Duncan. But if you can find the
blueberry creamer to plan in it, it is taste like
a blueberry.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
Literally, it's funny. That you're saying this, because guess what.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
I just finally tried the almonds that are blueberry flavor,
and I remember thinking this is weird. This was I
didn't buy it right away because I thought it would
be weird. They're fantastic. It's like eating a crunchy blueberry.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Yes, and my kid told me just try it. I promise,
just try it. And I did, and it is so good.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
I know things that you don't.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
It's so exciting when you when you discover something that
tastes really good that you didn't.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
I don't know. It's just one of those sweet things
in life.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Yeah, look at it and go, I don't know, okay,
and it's really good. Cool, Thank you.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
We appreciate the call.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I guess blueberry is a thing right now because we
just got the Doctor Pepper zero.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
That's BlackBerry, oh, BlackBerry. I'm sorry, mix it up there.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
They're good doctor pepper, Doctor Pepper BlackBerry zero. Now salm
and I still want coconut.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Now, we want more coconut. I mean, did they take
that one off the shelves? Yeah, limited time only.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
We've been searching for months. So this is coke.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Guy at the store. He's like Yeah, that was just
limited time. It's gone.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Well, how about a petition online that change dot org
head over there.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
I love that blueberry having a moment to it. Just
it's just.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Amends the blue diamond almonds that Jody was talking about.
It's really weird and unexpected because when you it's not
just blueberry flavoring. It almost tastes like a blueberry muffin.
I don't know how they pulled that off. She offered
me a few and I was like, it's wild.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, all right, join us anytime, Murphy. A little warning
for you about Phoebe's birthday dinner tonight.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Are younger, Our youngest turnch twenty today, and so.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Birthdays are a big deal dill in our family, and
we always let the birthday person pick where they want
to go.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Eat to eat, and we.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Take them out to eat, and my mom comes along
and my brother they're coming, by the way.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Case, is that the warning press they're coming.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Yeah, I'm just saying that's not the warning though.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
That's a delight, of course, it's a delight. In fact,
that's exactly what I'll tell them when I see them.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
That is a delight that you've joined us.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
No, the warning is.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I had this conversation with Phoebe because I was trying
to get it out of her last night.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
You please tell me where we're going to eat.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
She gets to pick, and she always waits till the
last minute to tell us where. She She likes to
take her time with what restaurant. But she said, well, well,
I'm really thinking of this one place and I like
and she named it. I was like, yeah, that's delicious,
let's do it, she said. But she says, I need
you to understand I do not want the birthday.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Oh yes, and this is that.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Oh wait, it's a Mexican restaurant where they bring the hat.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Not only that I love the hat, this is where they.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Where they put the whipped cream and smash it in
your face. I love that.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
She does love that.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Actually, they smashed in my face and drew it around my.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
And I think they brought you a churo. Also. I
couldn't see it, but yess it though. Look it's where
she wants to eat.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
It's casual and comfortable and delicious.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You don't have to say anything. We don't have to
say it's a birthday. They say it's a special occasion. Nope, No,
just going out to eat.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
As long as my mom doesn't bring a bunch of presence.
But she means it though, and I would just I.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Just don't want you need to know. We can't. The
wait staff can because they're so sweet there.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
If they over hear, we're gonna have to keep it
on the low that it's her birthday if she chooses that,
because that's one thing I promised her that we wouldn't
do it. She made it a point to me to
say that she does not want that. I would be
upset if it happened because she would be just beat red.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Yeah, you better talk to your mom though, because I
could see somebody bringing goo balloons.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Yeah, birthday iced tea for the birthday girl. Any happy
birthday thebes. We'll see you tonight.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I have a personal question for you there, murphyus Well,
this can also apply to anyone who has children. Yeah,
and no longer drinks. Okay, do you ever have any
look back and have any regrets about time you wasted
with your kids? I mean, I know, Jody, Yeah, got it.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
That's a really good question. I don't think I got
to that place where I was doing that. I don't
think it became a replacement for my time with him,
although you know, there were times I would walk into
the bathroom, well Jody was bathing one of the girls like, hey, Jody,
this is the best Margerit to ever.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
You want to make you one? And what did I say?
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Uh no, yeah, I know, cancer, that's it. Really, it's
my dad. Did regret that my dad was spent. It's
gonna sound terrible, but he spent most of my high
school years drunk, and many years later he was sober
for thirty years.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Before he passed. But he did h He said.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
That, you know, I feel like I, you know, lost
a lot of years with you, and it's like we
had a good time with you. You were still I mean,
and he was fun to be around. Does that answer
the question you Is that something you deal with?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah? I do feel I mean, I have that regret
when I think about because it was their teenage years
and for the little ones it was there, you know,
preteen years. Think about the stuff that I missed out
on because I was more interested in drinking and sitting
around the house you know while the kids were over. Now,
we did stuff, but it's like.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
You're just saying you weren't fully present.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Yeah, I wonder how much more I could have done
and how much more full my life would have been,
or is would be.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I think that's all a part of what you guys
are going through, is it not. There's the anger and
the acceptance and all that, and I'm sure there's regret
that has to be dealt with. Yeah, And I think
talking about it is a very good step. Talking about
with Murphy is a very good idea someone else who's
in your spot.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Well.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
And the good news is you've come through it and
it's part of your past, and so the relationships you have,
know with all your kids are better than they've ever been.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
They're better, they've improved. They all knew where I was,
and I found out that, you know, they even though
I thought I was getting away with it, I knew
I wasn't when I talked to him. Now it's like
now we knew, and it's like, oh, that just adds
to it. I have an issue with the past and regret,
you know, getting over it. And I wish there was
a magic word that somebody could say, forget about it.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, there's a lot of magic word, but you do
need to learn to forgive yourself.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And acceptance doesn't mean that you approve of something. It
just means that you accept it.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
So listen to this. This is today.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Okay. If you are a fan of true crime as Jody.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Is, hey, I'm not alone in that.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, I know, I got a warning for it.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
He's the only one with a pure heart around it.
So it's not that I'm against it. I don't know.
I just it doesn't always cook me.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
You know what, what you just said there may be
really true, because I'm about to tell you what what
a psychologist said about you if you read if you
watch too.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
Much one.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, one psychologist and I went back and I researched it.
And she's been saying this for a few years now.
Sure that she cautioned against using true crime shows as
a way to unwind, suggest that there could be a
red flag for unresolved emotional issues.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Okay, I mean, is are you really unwinding when you're
watching the true crime show?
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Though? Well, it's completely different from anything else in my life.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
I can see that it's an escape, but unwinding, I
don't know' that's like saying you go to horror movies
to unwind.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Some people do, and by the way, everybody has unresolved
emotional issues.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It's the human condition.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Okay. Next, relaxing and depictions of trauma might indicate familiarity
with such experiences, but potentially signaling a need for counseling.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Oh m, okay, still hitting anyone.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I just I don't I get in true crime spreeze
where I watch and then I'm tire of it.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
So it's just a it's sort of like a hobby thing.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
And Murphy, to address your question, she says, if you
really are a big fan of and you like to
watch it before you go to bed, ask yourself, why
is trauma so relaxing to me?
Speaker 4 (16:52):
I mean, I don't find it relying. Do you find
it relaxing? No, me either. It riles me up.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
It I find it very informative.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Yes, Murphy doesn't know this. But I did start watching
another one.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Oh you finished the OJ one already, the new.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Finished the one only four episodes ago. And so I
was in that mode, and I was looking for something,
and I remember that Sam told me you gotta watch
the Fall of Diddy.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Sean did he calls facing a slew of allegation. The
biggest question for me was has this happened before. This
one's on the map.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Oh sorry, yeah, I think it's also four episodes. I
finished the first episode. Okay, I finished the first one
while having lunch yesterday, you know, unwinding.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
But do you really watch it before you go to bed?
Because I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I don't usually I have a nighttime routine that's more
soothing than that.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
But I can and it does not affect I don't think.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I get why a psychologist would want to focus on
the Okay, something may be wrong.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
Or questions, but if you're back.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
But to me, most people are not watching it too
unwide anyway, they really watched it against the intrigue. It's
that whole curiosity of like how do I protect myself
from this thing or whatever?
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Murphy, I'm gonna go with your summation. There the latest
buzz Jody's Hollywood Outsider.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Brought to you by All State.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
This decade's long story of Miagi Do and Cobra Kai
is finally coming to a close, and yesterday we got
the final trailer for season six, Part.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Three, Part three.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
I know, I know, I know, no no of Cobra Kai.
It's everybody. Ralph Macchio William Zabka.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Here you go. In the beginning, we were enemies.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
And through the years you want to finishist, We've had
our battles.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Okay, this is the final chapter. It is very Look,
I love the I love the concept. There's a lot
of story here. Is it way dramatic? Yeah, sounds like
it's way dramatic, Although major respect for the way that
they coordinate the fighting and the battles and the martial arts,
(19:05):
because you think these they're really doing it, and.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
They're probably really ninety percent doing it.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Is the whole show that dramatic or are.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
They just I mean, yeah, I'm my experience with it,
it is.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
But this is the final chapter.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Opinions Aside on Netflix, February thirteenth, And everybody who was
ever a part of that, like, I mean, the character
Ali might.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Be making.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
So Cobra Kai Final Final Final, February thirteenth. When you
are watching true crime or some sort of documentary that
you're watching about yourself, it's something that you are consuming.
I don't know if everyone's like me. If I hear
Murphy walk in the door in another part of the
house and I hear him coming toward wait, wait, I
(19:50):
hear him coming toward me in the family room and
I'm watching, for instance, like The Fall of Diddy, which
I'm watching.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Now, what do you think I do? Sam?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
You hit pause?
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Yes, why do you think I do that?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Well, it could be a number of things. You want
your own show? Yeah, or yes, you know that Murphy's
going to walk in stand there for about three minutes and.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Go what's this?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
What's this? Or ask why this is happening? And then
you got to stop and explain it.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
I love all the speculation while I'm sitting right there
listening to it.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Oh, I didn't see you, right, It's really not speculation.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
It is true you would be interested in what I
was watching, especially in that first episode and the editor
of Vibe magazine telling her story about when she first
met Diddy. I thought, I remember thinking Murphy would find
this interesting. But I'm already thirty minutes in.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
So here's the thing about that. I've learned not to
ask questions anymore. But I am very susceptible to the distraction,
So you're correct about that. I will just stand there.
I don't even make myself comfortable.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
I just will.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
You know, it's like bright shiny, and I don't even
know what this is, right, but I'm stuck, right.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
I mean, I want you to know, though it's all
obviously common for something about well, it's okay to want
your own things in life. You know, when I'm reading
a book, I'm reading a book and you can tell fine.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
This is well Murphy, you can answer this to or
confirm it. I think I don't know if Murphy would
make it through that whole series. I think Murphy would
get hit his first episode. I mean because honestly, on
the first episode it's like, Okay, this is who is
the person he is? And the other episodes just back
all that up with other examples.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Do you people, do you have the ability?
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I have not tried this because I know you can
do it on YouTube on your Can you speed it
up like one and a half times to watch it
faster on TV?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
All?
Speaker 4 (21:26):
I hope not.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I mean that'll get you through it faster. It's more efficient.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
About being more efficient, God knows, there's so much content
you don't watch it fast.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
The place I gotta get on it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I want to say this though, it's not just you.
This is not just a you know, pause it because
here comes Murphy. I've paused it when here comes Taylor,
I don't want I just.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
And here's the other thing, want company.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
And when they were younger, you're watching Game of Thrones,
you pause it sometimes on the really wrong things, go
up and plug the TV.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Sam, you had mentioned about regret yesterday. Such a positive
way to start. I regret mentioning that it's real.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I don't think you can live a full life without regret.
Well you didn't have regret. You would you're not in
tuned with yourself.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
How do you like that?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
That sounds deep?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
So this is interesting the things that people say they
regret right before the end of their lives, when people
are on the way out, the things that they honestly
say they regret. We can all learn from this and
it's not too I mean, maybe it's a little heavy,
but you want to know this right. So you're living
right wishing you would have lived your your life to
(22:42):
your true self and not doing what others expected of you.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
That's so big.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Sometimes that's tricky because you don't know who your true
self is until later.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
It's true, but how many people you know?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I'm sorry to bring up a TV show, but Don
Draper and Madman said that once was like my favorite
thing he ever said to Peggy.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
He said, is that what you want?
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Is?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Or is that what people expect of you? And I
remember pausing it, going, did you do that? That's incredible?
It's incredible.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Line true, do what you want. It is your life
and what other people expect of you. They can expect it,
but you don't have to do that. It's a good lesson. Okay,
other regrets, this is a good one too. I wish
I would have appreciated my health. Take care of your body.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Yeah, your health. Be your own advocate for your health.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
It's tough because a lot of the things that we
do create long term effects, so you don't know that
until time.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Has passed, until it's happened.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I think are mentally programmed to think, Okay, if something hurts,
don't do this right now. You're not really automatically programmed.
You've got to be deliberate when it's something that causessels.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Good Now.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
When I was a senior in high school, one of
our assignments, I don't remember which class, maybe history, was
to interview the oldest person in your family or someone
over the age of whatever.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
And of course Paupau, Yeah, you guys, remember me telling
I've ever mentioned this to you before.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
One of the questions I asked him was what would
you do differently if you could go back in time?
And I thought he was going to give me a
religious answer. He paused for a moment and said, I
wish I would have taken better care of myself. And
he had just had a major dental procedure and he
(24:24):
had not taken care of his teeth for a lot
of his life, and he threw.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
That out at me. I was seventeen years old when
he said that, because generation though, that was kind of
you know, right.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
And number three, this is so important, I want to
say for women, but it's everybody for men too. I
wish you didn't spend so much time hating my body.
Accept it, treat it good, love it.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Don't hate it.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
When you're a relatively new driver and you've never driven
through small towns, one lesson that you learn usually the
hard way.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah do you see what's kevin?
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Yeah, somebody got a ticket.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
So our youngest Phoebe went to last weekend, went to
visit her boyfriend who lives three hours away.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Now, let's just say several small towns and she took some.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Small towns and Morris Murphy got the phone call, Dad,
I got a ticket and it was in a small
town and she just was not And do you know
that two nights before when she was at the house
she was we were talking about driving, and she literally
had that conversation with us, the very human, real thing
(25:38):
of I just get so scared when there's a police
officer behind me, even though I'm not doing anything wrong.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
I just feel like, what if I get pulled over?
It's a feeling.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Yeah, yeah, it's a real thing.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Nobody wants to be pulled over now.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
And I get that paranoia too. I mean I could
be driving and it's like I would have been in
the speed limit. I'm fine, so chill, dude.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
When Phoebes called me, it reminded me of those TV
shows we'd watch as kids where the police officers are
sitting there right at the speed limit signed oh yeah,
and so that they're waiting for the speed limb to
drop twenty miles an hour and you haven't had a
chance to slow down yet.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
And that's what happened to her.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
But I also, I mean, she might have been distracted,
might have been lead foot in it a little bit.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Wait, you said she was going what and a what
can we say that she was going almost fifty?
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Yeah, I mean he alleged, oh uh, she was going
we're going to fight this right. Let me tell you
Phoebe is her father's daughter. Yeah, she's a little feisty
about it.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I think he alleged that she was going forty eight
in a thirty five. But she had literally just crossed
the I mean literally crossed the city.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
And again a hard lesson to learn, one that most
of us learned the hard way. You can tell a
kid this is going to happen, be careful in the
small towns, but until it happens to you, for the
rest of her life, when she drives through that, she'll
that type of area, she'll be like.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Wait, And you know what the thing about a small town,
even though I know we make you know, fun, and
everybody knows that that's a thing, but the small is
not used to as much traffic coming through right, right,
And so it's it's a slower speed limit for safety's sake.
When all it so, I understand why they're policing it.
They're doing what they should be doing. Maybe the speed
limit should be about five miles an hour more.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Have you ever had to apologize to one of your kids,
I mean, I don't like that. Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Didn't mean to bump you. I mean, like a major,
I screwed up my fault. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
I don't know what major is.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
But we do apologize in our home when necessary.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
And it's an interesting challenge to learn as a parent
on that, because you don't want to apologize for things
that you need to be parenting for. But if it's
something as a person that you've done wrong, yeah, then
absolutely so. Yeah, I've done that a couple of times.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
I had one of those recently with my son Jackson.
You know, I went to visit him in California over
the Christmas holidays. Yeah, and we made some food together.
He wanted to cook together. And I didn't realize it,
but at the time he was recording me cooking some
stuff and he wanted to put together on TikTok how
to make this oh cool? And it never did show up.
(28:05):
And then finally it showed up. He finished it and
put it together, and when I watched it, I was horrified.
Why because of the way I talked to him in
this video really and in the present as I was
doing it, you didn't think didn't occurred to me. It's
just you know, blah blah blah. When I watched the video,
it's just like, oh my god, I cannot believe I
(28:27):
talked to you barking talking down.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
How was he reacted one of those.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Basically how dare you? That's a dumb question kind of things.
I didn't say that verbado, yeah, that kind of stuff.
And he's just going with the flow in the video.
And it made me realize, Okay, wait, he's used to it,
because obviously I've done this for a while.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Now, Jackson and I have had some issues. He's had
some personal issues the past few years, and I think
that kind of maybe tainted my I'm still not there
with him yet, yeah, fully, trusting, fully, and I think
part of it was that impatience and that. But I
wrote him a nice long letter. I didn't want to
call him this thing to me, I think was better written. Sure,
(29:13):
so I wrote him a nice long letter and send
it to him. He hasn't gotten it yet.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
It's wonderful.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
I haven't heard the response yet.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
Such a beautiful thing to do.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
And it makes me like, Okay, am I talking to
the rest of my kids this way? If you know
what do I need to fix it?
Speaker 2 (29:27):
It's just something that made you more self aware, and
becoming self aware is not something that happens one day
overnight and then you're self aware. You always are hopefully
gaining that throughout your life.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Right, And had I not watched that video, just be
bopping along the way I've been.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Doing, It's weird how that is. Video is almost worse
than an actual fear.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
It was painful to watch it.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Okay, the letter's beautiful because it can live forever. He
can take it in his own time, and he'll have
it forever.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
He'll have your apology forever.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Well, I think it's beautiful that you did that in
the The only video that I had lately of myself
that I really was disappointed in was the angle that
was shot the sun.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
It was terrible.
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