February 26, 2018 • 6 mins
Why Murphy can’t SEEM to write his list of what he’d be looking for IF he was single.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Murphy, Sam and Jody After the show, thank you
for subscribing to the podcast. Listen in the extra brand
new episode for You every Day. Where We're going today, Jody.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Okay, I want clarification on this list that I'm this assignment.
I'm making a list of the things I would want
in a spouse if you were no longer here and
if I was single, And you're doing the same because
Sam did it, and it's a good no. It's a
good exercise for anybody who's single, or if you want
if there's anything like we have friends who do it
(00:30):
because of career, Like they write down the things they
want to happen within a year with their career. We'll
see it and it'll just visualize it.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
It just it freaks me out a little bit to
say that if we were single. What I'm saying is,
but if we write down what we want and we
see that it matches up, it's kind of cool. It's
a positive affirmation for our marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
It doesn't have to be just about being single. Okay,
I do that, I do that, I do that, I
do that.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I'm golden.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
It's like a roadmap for your mouth to write it down.
I have to pretend like I'm starting over because it's
hard for me to write my brain around it since
we're you know, we're happily married.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yes, I agree with that.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Well, you know also too, you could write something down
that you really want in place that's not happening now
and you want it to be that way.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
See, I bet you this is the kind of a
list that maybe a counselor would recommend, Not that we
need counseling, a list that a counselor would recommend maybe
to a couple so that you're you focus on your
needs and then you compare each other's needs and then boom.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
You know right, that's that easy.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yeah, you needs.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Met my needs, My needs, you meet your needs.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
All the fun one would be for you all to
write down pros and cons.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
What's funny is after being together for eighteen years, I
think we know what the pros and the cons are. Fortunately,
the pros list is long.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
There's nobody you could ever be with there where there
wouldn't be a con. That's one thing you realize after
being with somebody for a long time, or any in relationships, right, Sam,
there's no such thing as somebody who is not going
to get on at least one of your nerves at
some point. It's just not possible.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
But you know what, there's that one couple that we
would see all the time I'm at church, Joe, do
you remember they were an elderly couple. I do, and
you know, and he was, you know, the person sitting
next to us say, excuse me, would you like to
have a seen here? And she's like, no, thanks, I'm
waiting for that handsome gentleman right there to come join
me over here. And she was talking about her husband.
And they've been married for sixty years.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
You know, And that doesn't mean they never fought though.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, I know, it's easy to assume there is a
look from the outside, right and it looks like they're
the perfect couple, or maybe that's something you wish when
you see that that could really be the case that
they're like, is the world's perfect couple? I guess logically
there has to be somewhere on the planet.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think we all realize that
when we're kids, don't we Or when you're when you're
growing up in a home and you realize that, and
everybody has this in different degrees. You have small degrees
of it if you're lucky, or big degrees of it
if you're living in a difficult, messed up situation. That
(02:59):
what people see is not always exactly what is true.
Daily Yeah, the daily people.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Are only people only. They only know you from a
snippet of what they see exactly, short thing in time,
or like even people who listen here, they know us
because of the way we come across. They don't know
all the little things that go on. No, well, they
know a lot.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Well, yeah, but do you hear what I'm saying to you.
I think as a child, I noticed and realize, Okay,
you know.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
This is not a happy place.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
No, that's not what I saw.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
No, it's a child. What I remember about.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Bout that what it appears to be is never what
it one hundred percent is, And you need to know
that so that you can not judge people for what
they're going through.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Well, my parents, you know, went through some serious ups
and downs together over the years, and you know, so
and until my mother in a past, I mean, they
were an inseparable couple. But as a kid, I remember thinking,
because they were high school sweethearts, I thought that that
same thing would be the case. You know, for me,
it took me about seven relationships later to I realized
that wasn't the case.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
But after you went through every girl in high school, Okay,
I gotta move on.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Isn't that funny? How what what you witness and experience
is kind of what you feel like can happen. And
you know that one of my big fears in life
is that something's gonna happen to one of us. Because
when I was a teenager, my dad, I mean, he
was here one day and he was gone within the seconds.
(04:30):
He died instantly, and then I watched my mother try
to deal with all of that, and so I literally
there have been times in my brain where it's like, uh,
you know, I know this can happen. My dad was young.
He was forty, Yeah, way young. Taylor even asked me
that one day, not long ago, Murphy, She was like,
do you ever worry about something happened to daddy? I'm like, uh, yeah,
(04:53):
it's biggest fear lurking around, big fear lurking around.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, yeah, it's weird. It's just one of those things
you wind up being totally uncomfor talking about it.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I'm not uncomfortable talking about it because I need to
live with the knowledge that that can happen. I do
not want to be caught completely unawares if.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
It happens, Well, just do me a favor.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
As a defense mechanism, do me a favor.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Do not put that one on the list. It doesn't
you know what I mean, It doesn't have to make
the list. What that's not one being prepared for when
you know that's not the list. The list is what
you want in a spout.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Yeah, well the list is for if it does happen
that way.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Right, Okay, So you got to make it, you too, Murphy,
as if you can. You don't need to wrap your
brain around the fact that if we're going to do
this list this week on the show, you have to
write down what you would be looking for if I
was not here.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
No, it's just that's not the point of the list.
I don't know it was.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
It is because you're not dating while we're married.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Right, and no I'm not.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
But it's the things that you want in a significant
other apply to whether you're in a relationship with a
significant other right now or if you're like.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Is that the rule or not?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
I thought it was for when each of you passes,
So if you're now, it's not.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
About passing away. Either thing is.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Being single doesn't mean somebody in this has to be
dead or.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
No crazy here. Maybe we shouldn't do this list.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Yeah, by the way, Murphy, you can't end each one,
just like Jody.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Missed any part of the show. Y'all at Murphy Salmon
Jody dot com.
It's Murphy, Sam and Jody After the show, thank you
for subscribing to the podcast. Listen in the extra brand
new episode for You every Day. Where We're going today, Jody.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Okay, I want clarification on this list that I'm this assignment.
I'm making a list of the things I would want
in a spouse if you were no longer here and
if I was single, And you're doing the same because
Sam did it, and it's a good no. It's a
good exercise for anybody who's single, or if you want
if there's anything like we have friends who do it
(00:30):
because of career, Like they write down the things they
want to happen within a year with their career. We'll
see it and it'll just visualize it.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
It just it freaks me out a little bit to
say that if we were single. What I'm saying is,
but if we write down what we want and we
see that it matches up, it's kind of cool. It's
a positive affirmation for our marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
It doesn't have to be just about being single. Okay,
I do that, I do that, I do that, I
do that.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I'm golden.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
It's like a roadmap for your mouth to write it down.
I have to pretend like I'm starting over because it's
hard for me to write my brain around it since
we're you know, we're happily married.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yes, I agree with that.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Well, you know also too, you could write something down
that you really want in place that's not happening now
and you want it to be that way.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
See, I bet you this is the kind of a
list that maybe a counselor would recommend, Not that we
need counseling, a list that a counselor would recommend maybe
to a couple so that you're you focus on your
needs and then you compare each other's needs and then boom.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
You know right, that's that easy.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yeah, you needs.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Met my needs, My needs, you meet your needs.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
All the fun one would be for you all to
write down pros and cons.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
What's funny is after being together for eighteen years, I
think we know what the pros and the cons are. Fortunately,
the pros list is long.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
There's nobody you could ever be with there where there
wouldn't be a con. That's one thing you realize after
being with somebody for a long time, or any in relationships, right, Sam,
there's no such thing as somebody who is not going
to get on at least one of your nerves at
some point. It's just not possible.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
But you know what, there's that one couple that we
would see all the time I'm at church, Joe, do
you remember they were an elderly couple. I do, and
you know, and he was, you know, the person sitting
next to us say, excuse me, would you like to
have a seen here? And she's like, no, thanks, I'm
waiting for that handsome gentleman right there to come join
me over here. And she was talking about her husband.
And they've been married for sixty years.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
You know, And that doesn't mean they never fought though.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, I know, it's easy to assume there is a
look from the outside, right and it looks like they're
the perfect couple, or maybe that's something you wish when
you see that that could really be the case that
they're like, is the world's perfect couple? I guess logically
there has to be somewhere on the planet.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think we all realize that
when we're kids, don't we Or when you're when you're
growing up in a home and you realize that, and
everybody has this in different degrees. You have small degrees
of it if you're lucky, or big degrees of it
if you're living in a difficult, messed up situation. That
(02:59):
what people see is not always exactly what is true.
Daily Yeah, the daily people.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Are only people only. They only know you from a
snippet of what they see exactly, short thing in time,
or like even people who listen here, they know us
because of the way we come across. They don't know
all the little things that go on. No, well, they
know a lot.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Well, yeah, but do you hear what I'm saying to you.
I think as a child, I noticed and realize, Okay,
you know.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
This is not a happy place.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
No, that's not what I saw.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
No, it's a child. What I remember about.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Bout that what it appears to be is never what
it one hundred percent is, And you need to know
that so that you can not judge people for what
they're going through.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Well, my parents, you know, went through some serious ups
and downs together over the years, and you know, so
and until my mother in a past, I mean, they
were an inseparable couple. But as a kid, I remember thinking,
because they were high school sweethearts, I thought that that
same thing would be the case. You know, for me,
it took me about seven relationships later to I realized
that wasn't the case.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
But after you went through every girl in high school, Okay,
I gotta move on.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Isn't that funny? How what what you witness and experience
is kind of what you feel like can happen. And
you know that one of my big fears in life
is that something's gonna happen to one of us. Because
when I was a teenager, my dad, I mean, he
was here one day and he was gone within the seconds.
(04:30):
He died instantly, and then I watched my mother try
to deal with all of that, and so I literally
there have been times in my brain where it's like, uh,
you know, I know this can happen. My dad was young.
He was forty, Yeah, way young. Taylor even asked me
that one day, not long ago, Murphy, She was like,
do you ever worry about something happened to daddy? I'm like, uh, yeah,
(04:53):
it's biggest fear lurking around, big fear lurking around.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, yeah, it's weird. It's just one of those things
you wind up being totally uncomfor talking about it.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I'm not uncomfortable talking about it because I need to
live with the knowledge that that can happen. I do
not want to be caught completely unawares if.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
It happens, Well, just do me a favor.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
As a defense mechanism, do me a favor.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Do not put that one on the list. It doesn't
you know what I mean, It doesn't have to make
the list. What that's not one being prepared for when
you know that's not the list. The list is what
you want in a spout.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Yeah, well the list is for if it does happen
that way.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Right, Okay, So you got to make it, you too, Murphy,
as if you can. You don't need to wrap your
brain around the fact that if we're going to do
this list this week on the show, you have to
write down what you would be looking for if I
was not here.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
No, it's just that's not the point of the list.
I don't know it was.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
It is because you're not dating while we're married.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Right, and no I'm not.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
But it's the things that you want in a significant
other apply to whether you're in a relationship with a
significant other right now or if you're like.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Is that the rule or not?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
I thought it was for when each of you passes,
So if you're now, it's not.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
About passing away. Either thing is.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Being single doesn't mean somebody in this has to be
dead or.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
No crazy here. Maybe we shouldn't do this list.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Yeah, by the way, Murphy, you can't end each one,
just like Jody.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Missed any part of the show. Y'all at Murphy Salmon
Jody dot com.
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