August 18, 2026 • 25 mins
If something were to happen to Murphy - does Jodi have a plan? No - but she does have a folder. Jose wrote in and asked: "What's IN the "Jodi folder?" Also - does Sam have such a folder (or plan) for family members? We go there - for you and Jose. Into the folder.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Murphy Sam and Jody after the show podcast, lots.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Of comments and emails and messages roll in, and we
do read and see every single one. But we have
this most beautiful question to messenger through our Instagram and
Facebook from Jose and I want to read it okay,
and it addresses all of us Murphy, Sam and Jody. Jody.
You mentioned a few months ago that you discovered Jody's file,
(00:27):
and I don't mean to bring the mood down, but
a friend of mine passed away last week at only
forty four years old, and it really got me thinking
about how prepared we are for the unexpected Murphy. If
you're able to share, I'd be interested in hearing in general,
what's included in Jody's file. I have some things set
(00:47):
up for my spouse, but I realized I don't really
have a Mary's file put together. Sam, I'd also love
your perspective. Do you have something similar a kids file
with important information your kids would need some day. I'm
not sure if this is something you would want to
discuss on the show or after the show podcast, but
I think it could be a helpful topic and I
(01:08):
would like to hear all three of you and your
thoughts on what people should have organized for their spouse, kids,
or family in case of something unexpected. Thank you for
sharing and thank you for your time. That is from
Jose on messenger. And you know what, I'm sorry about
the loss of your friend. And it is a very
smart and beautiful thing to think about and do well.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
And forty four is young, and you're right, Jose to
be thinking like that because you know, we tend to
because it's life, it's human nature. We want to put
this to be late seventies, eighties or even nineties the
way that you know people are living today.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
So we have no guarante, but I'm.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I'm happy to share with that. Let me get my
list of passwords open here one Hose.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I will tell you all Murphy gets his thoughts together.
It came about because of my nervousness once we had
kids and we had you know, we were had this
life together, and I realized that Murphy handles all the business,
you know, and it's how I love it. You know,
I don't want to run the taxes and all this
kind of stuff. I run other stuff and we have
this partnership. But I was like, I need you to
(02:11):
create this for me or show me, because I realized
it would have been dom and ignorant of me not
to know what to do if something were to happen
to you, because you're pulling all the strings if you will.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
You and I have been. You and I have we've
been a team on this for a long time now.
And Jose, I guess what I will say. It actually
starts with what all this came from originally? Is I
tend to be a do it yourself or have been?
And it took me probably I don't know. When I
turned thirty. I finally realized, Okay, some things in life
I don't need to be trying to do myself just
because I can read about it or whatever, because there
(02:46):
are people who do things for a living that do
it better and know all the ins and outs than
I would. And so that started with going to a
financial planner. Honestly is where all this began with which
I was thirty years old in that because I was
you know, I realized, are I going to make it
to the Promised Land if they're at all? If I
was trying to do all that myself, and so you
know that was you know, somebody that I brought into
(03:09):
my life early on. I think I mistakenly thought that
you had to have a financial planner if you made
lots and lots and lots of money. Well that's not
the truth. The truth is, you know, everyone needs a
financial planner because that's how you plan for retirement. It's
not about the amount of money that you have. And
during that session she recommended me. She asked, the first
question is okay, well you have two daughters, do you
(03:31):
do you and Jody have a will? And I realized, now, actually,
we don't have a will. And it's weird to when
you're thirty, you're thinking that's kind of creepy to talk about.
But again you start to realize.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Okay, it's smart, it's real.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
And you have to And the reason that I went
ahead and got that done is because the three of
us traveled together a lot, which meant Jody and I
were traveling together at the same time. And if for
some reason, God forbid, anything had ever happened that, you know,
we were covered. Because again, you hope you never have
to use that document. The problem is if it has
to be used and it doesn't exist.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
That was born out of my fear though part of this.
Remember that, because I would say we would you and
I would fly separately, well, I would be on a
plane with Sam and you would be joining us later.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
That was going to right, I was going to say
that you did. That was after we signed the wills.
That's when you got the fear of the Okay, we're
not traveling together. That's kind of followed that. You know,
I'm sorry, but anyway, So the reason I go all
that way back to say is to realize that was
sort of the first things that I put into place.
And so you know, several years had gone by before
Jodi said, I, you know, I don't do any of this,
(04:36):
the finances and stuff. How do we How do I
know if you were ever not here, how to handle that.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I watched my mother go through that when my dad
passed away at a very young age, he was forty,
and I watched her have to rebuild her life, and
I do mean her financial life and her business life
and taking care of business and that kind of You
would almost think that I would be all in, but
it's just not my interest or you know, I trust
(05:04):
you completely with it, and so but I do need
to know, you know, I do need to know if
I ever have to open something of the folder that
I that it's there.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I think it's more important now today because everything is
electronic and anything that can be auto deducted. I mean,
I don't know if you do this, Sam, though I don't.
I can't think of a bill that I pay anymore
by stopping and paying it. It either is automatically deducted.
I haven't written a check in years, in fact, when
somebody asked me to, and so with my parents it
(05:38):
would have been easier. You just have documents to go
through and you can find the numbers and this, that
and the other. But that's not as easy in the
in the digital world. So Jose, where I would start
with that is really the basics. Do you have multiple accounts,
checking accounts and credit cards? And it's it's getting all
of those things together. Those are absolutely in the documents,
(06:00):
you know, so that Jody knows what and even more
important than you know passwords and stuff like that, not
that those aren't important, but realize when someone passes away,
you're not going to have or your spouse is not
going to have immediate access to something that their name
is not on. So an username and a password is
not necessarily going to do a whole lot of good ultimately,
(06:21):
you know, at some point, so make sure that you're
documenting the name of the institution, the account number, and
a contact number or person, especially if you have somebody individually,
and those things are you know, the basics that even
if a user name and password can't be found, once
you have a death certificate in, everything else that you
(06:42):
need is like what they call an independent letter of
administrator or whatever it is that gives you the ability
to act on behalf of the deceased person. And I'm
not trying to get complicated there, what bottom line is,
that's another circumstance altogether. Generally speaking, if your spouse is
not on the account name with you, they're not going
to have direct access if they can't get in with
(07:03):
the user name and password, and they cannot conduct transactions
on the behalf of someone until you're actually officially added
to the account. So all I'm trying to say is
that's why it's important to have more than a username
and a password and account. You need to have a
contact person and a phone number so that once you
get down the line of this.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Mary could do that. In other words, so that I
could do that. So you have that in the folder
for me, but in short time contact information in case
for the accounts, my name is not on. My name's
not right.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And but because you know, if bills are being automatically
paid and there's still money in that account and both
you know, spouses or whomever have partners have the access
to that account, anybody who's a signatory in the account,
then you know, I mean, you can fund the account.
I guess if you have to, it's you're bridging a gap.
So user names and user names and passwords absolutely are
(07:56):
important there. And then if depending on how you have
different things in your life structured, if it's the four
to one K, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
If it is they have separate ones.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You know, the Social Security benefits and knowing how to
access those statements.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Insurance, I just brought the Jody file for this, huh, Insurance.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
And beneficiary designations and all that kind of stuff. And
you know, because for example, one thing that I learned
when it was me and Jody together that you can
designate multiple beneficiaries for example on an insurance policy. And
so you know, for insurance, if it were to happen
to either of us. The primary is each other, the spouse.
(08:41):
The secondary beneficiary would be a trust you know, that
would be executed by an attorney. Because the girls were
under age, it's not like somebody's got to be a recipient,
and that can't be just another person unless it's somebody
you really do trust. But we made that independent.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Sam.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah, right, And I'm trying not to go too far
into the weeds. I'm trying to stay top line here.
So it's accounts like credit cards, bank information, the basics
and those things that you know. However, there may be
other simple things like you know, the water bill account
number and the electric built account number, all account numbers
that you have, anything that gets paid automatically. Make sure
(09:19):
you've got that part, you know, you just written down somewhere,
even if it's printing a receipt and sticking that in
a folder. You don't have to be as fancy as
making an Excel spreadsheet if you don't want to, which
I made for Joe. I was gonna ask that right.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Look, look the times I've put my eyes on it.
I was looking for something in your file cabinet, and
I saw it the other day, like months ago. This
is when he must have heard it. It's when you
heard it, Jose. I opened it up and I was like, oh,
this is it, low, this is the folder. But I
didn't really want to go too deep. And do you know,
I didn't want to, like I don't need to you're here.
But I saw that it was all business. You had
(09:54):
even asked me Sam, was there a little note from
Murphy like hey, sorry, I'm gone, I love you. None
of it was just strictly business, which is great. Yeah,
it should be strictly business. I need it to be.
I want it to be there.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And look, there may be things like you know, you
may have side hustles that you have LLCs for and
you may have like Murphy Salmon Jody is a business
in addition to what we do. Those those all have
complex working parts that need to be documented somewhere. I
will say though that you know, everybody's level of comfort
with that is different. And at the end of the day, again,
I don't think it matters, you know, whether you know
(10:28):
you make ten thousand dollars a year or whether you
make a million dollars a year. Everyone is is well
served to have, at least if you don't use them regularly.
A CPA that you can count on, an attorney that
you can count on, and and a financial advisor. And
if you have those three things in the attorney part,
really at the end of the day, all those instructions
are left with you know, my attorney, and so I
(10:51):
guess as long as you know I all live him,
we're in business. I guess that folder but you know
the but that way you have somebody can also assist
with it. Because here's the other thing. I will you say,
Jose and these are all great questions, is and you
don't think about these things until they happen. And I
guess I learned about them because of both my parents
(11:11):
passing and when my dad finally passed and realized, well, okay,
this is serious. Now you get all of this legal
transition that's going on. You have to get through the
grief first before you can pay attention to any of
those decisions. And it's it's very difficult. You're like, wait,
I got to do what first, because life and legality
still happen. You know, Well, that's.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Exactly what I was about to say. If something happened
to you, I would be grieving, but I would also
worry about the bills. I would be immediately at that folder,
well at after I would. I would be because I
would know I'm not spoiled anymore. I don't have you
to handle all of that. You would big girl pants
on and start taking care of the biz.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yeah, you would have to make sure that the bank
account is funded to be able to cover the bills
and the continue to automatically draft. I know, And that's
why we had to with my you know, my dad's
the mistake that I made. And again I didn't know.
I didn't know when he passed away and the funeral
expenses needed to be you know done, My brother and
sister and were trying to figure all that out. We
(12:13):
put the funeral expenses on his credit card, which then
got flagged about twenty days later as fraudulent. Serious business
by the way, on that, because when someone passes away,
every financial institution is notified about that person's Social Security
number that they have passed yes, which immediately triggers everything.
(12:34):
And with credit card companies, it's a it's going to
be on day one after that's reported, it's going to
be fraud.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And that probably happens a lot, right.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yeah, Well, we didn't know that night.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
So families are like, let's pay for it with what
he wanted us to pay for it with his stuff.
Let's do it. Yeah, and you're like, no, you can't.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Well that's yeah, that's that's what they said. Obviously, it's like,
I'm sorry, your dad can't pay for his own funeral.
Ah okay, yeah no, but seriously, it's because it was
his credit card, not me. And though yes, we were
going to be the ones who handle all that, everything
was you know, being you know, succeeded succession, whatever you
call it to us.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Do you feel confident about the folder as is today?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, I'm I make sure I go back and I
you know, and I update it for you.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
We're good, Yeah, because because the thing is, passwords change
and all those things change. And that's why I say
the backup part, you know, other than the fact that
and you can this is all different things now too.
I didn't realize we'd go down these rabbit holes, so
I apologize. But you know, like Google and certainly Facebook,
(13:35):
and I'm trying to think of other storage you know,
I don't I don't know if one driver, Microsoft does it.
You can assign legacy contacts now I know you can
do it with that Apple Eye Cloud that way, if
you pass on, you know there's a legacy person who
is trusted to be able to do anything on your
behalf in that account, I would say that, you know,
(13:55):
in today's tech world, I would do that, you know.
I mean, it's it's already. I think you can run
my Facebook page already, Jody. I think I made you
legacy content on.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I'm not worried about your Facebook, right, but flow on
the list about that.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
But I think if you like, if you use Google Drive,
I don't know about Dropbox, if you use Google Drive,
if you use iCloud, and you've got those accounts, I'm
pretty sure you can assign legacy. And so that's an
important thing just in case the password thing gets scorely.
Are there documents? Everything else though, is not really always
going to require a username in a password, once you
(14:32):
get the legal documentation that's needed if you've got account
numbers and titles and contact numbers, and you can prove
who you are at that point, and that that proof
is going to be usually some combination of a death
certificate and some document that proves you can operate conduct
this business on behalf of the person who's passed. Yeah,
then you're going to be, you know, in better shape.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Well, I will say that where we have fallen down,
Jose or I have fallen downs. Once you put that
together and I know that you update it regularly, and
I believe that it's buttoned up. I know that it is.
We still should go through it together sometime in case
I have a question, but we just don't do it.
We just don't do it for that reason of odds. There,
(15:15):
let's go out to eat instead. I want to watch
TV instead. It's pink.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
It's a pink it's the pink Jodi folder. Yeah, which
I did that to try to, you know, to try
to help.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
That, try to light the mood a little bit since
you're dead in this scenario.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And I'm also to show you how mister safety that
I am. You have to go two different places to
be able to access the information. So if somebody would
have grabbed that folder, they.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Don't have, Yeah, it's gonna be uh.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
In other words, they do be a long day.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
For me, a scavenger hunt.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Probably. No, they're not going to use That's another thing, Jose, Like,
that's one more thing that's behind the scenes.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Is that.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
The reason I've always been so grateful for the folder
and I pushed for and begged for it is because
you are so thorough and extra. As I like to say,
there's a lot, you know, Murphy is a lot when
it comes to business, Like if there's a five step authentication,
he's going to do the ten step, you know. And
(16:12):
so I'm assuming it's not going to be easy. Boxes
checked if I ever receive that folder. I don't believe
it's going to be easy. I do believe it's going
to be laid out for me because you know me
very well, and it's laid out for me, and I
know what we have. I know our assets and our debts.
I do know that unless you're keeping something from me.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
So that's more than password one.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
And to you, Sam, because asked about you as well.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
No, I have started it and started it and started
it and I've never finished.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
It's tough to do, right, I mean, it really is.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
In my computer. I have a folder that says what
folder should we open? If Dad is Dad? Because I
figure if they open up my computer, it's going to
be where do we look?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Right there?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
And by putting accounts in there, saving some financial accounts good,
but it's nowhere near that.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
It's not her style.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I'll start doing it and then it's just like, Okay,
I don't like doing this, and I go do something else.
I know it needs to be done.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Put your feelings aside in facts. The fact is somebody's
going to have to open that one day. Yeah, it's
just it's a fact. They will deal with their feelings
as well, and you can deal with your feelings about
the fact that you're not going to be here forever.
But the fact is someone will need to open that folder.
It might be Sammy, it might be Maddie, it might
be all of them together. You can do it.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, And it's a I understand exactly what you mean though,
because it becomes a little bit of a chore, and
it's one of those it's like.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Because you have to remember every little I mean, granted,
Facebook is not that important when it comes down to death,
but you have to remember every little account that you have,
and are the ones you only deal with once a year.
It's like, oh, yeah, there's that one too. Put it
on there. You got some life insurance over here that
my mom purchased when I was a child, don't forget that.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Oh wow, yeah, yeah, when in another way to get
started on it. If everything is electronic, which most things
are now. I mean, I grew up with my parents
had a file cabinet, and boy did they keep everything.
We used to tease them about that, but I'm really
glad they did. Because they didn't have a list of anything.
We had to pull all those things together and so
(18:22):
that was a huge help. But I don't like paperwork.
I'm only if it has to be on paper physically,
I don't want it anymore. And so it's all electronic.
And so the only way for me to know what
I'm actually doing is to use a program like a
Monarch money or whatever it is you want to do,
is a you know, Rocket money whatever. There's a million
(18:42):
of these kind of you know, financial programs out there.
You can use quick books or whatever, and all you
have to do the banks. It's all electronically connected. Go
see what you actually spent on your credit cards, and
in your bank account you'll know what you're paying every month.
So it's pretty easy to pull all that together electronically.
If it's something that you're just getting started on, you
know what would be you know, my suggestion. But but
I hear you. It's like once you get into you.
(19:05):
But I don't know how, and I don't know where
this and and that's for me. I guess over time,
because I am, like Jody said, she's right, I'm extra.
There are a lot of side hustles and things that
I over the years of accumulating things, and so I
have like a lot of information and data the things
that have to be taken care of, intended to shut
(19:26):
down or whatever it is going to be that if
I'm never you know, if I'm not around anymore, and
that I don't want that falling onto Jody unknowingly that
a letter shows up and the mail certified something from
somebody that she's never heard of, you know, like our
bank accounts and the Caymans for example.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Okay, hat that I need to know about. I don't
even know about.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
I wish, but no, you've got I mean you've got
all of those.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I know about the LLC. LLC's no, because we've done
those things together. I do know about it. But I'm
spoiled that I don't dabble in it. Yeah, we have
this partnership. I've always told the girls, you know, we have.
Maybe it is unbalanced, maybe it is not probably the
smartest thing to do, but I haven't done taxes in
twenty something years. Because you do that, you also haven't
(20:12):
you know, cooked or about bought milk. We have this,
you know, I kind of ran this kid's schedules and
things like that and it just worked. That's the way
it worked. Well. Look, so when I hear myself say that,
I realized, Jodie, get in that folder and talk with
him about it. No and no. So you can. So
if you ever have that, have to face that. You're ready.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
But we went through the top line part of the
pink sheet a while back, and the thing is, yeah,
it's a.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
And we went to dinner.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Yeah, but it's a partnership and it's it really is
because I'm not doing those things in a vacuum. I
take care of them, but you know what they are, yeah,
just like I know what you're doing. I mean, yeah,
it's true whether it's food, where the kids are or whatever.
So we're communicating those things together. But but yeah, it's
it's just weird. Life changes the urgency on that as
(21:00):
it goes on. And the biggest change for me, honestly
was when my dad died five years ago, I learned
and I thought I had learned a lot of that
because my grandmother passed in twenty eleven.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I didn't handle it handling it is everything right.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Right, my mom passed and my dad was able to
handle some things. But you know, it's the whole usufruct situation,
and you know, it was a fairly simple usufruc, which
is when two spouses are together. And I don't know
if every state has usufruct or not, but you know,
in Louisiana it's when both my parents. When one parent passes,
(21:33):
it's community property state. Everything goes to the other's spouse,
but they've got until if you're will specify something's going
to the children, the spouse has full usage of any
of that. Even if they don't they don't own the
spouse's share, they've got full usage of everything.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
The house like, right, correct, Yeah, and I would have
the house in usufruct.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
But you can also make, you know, decisions out the
approval from the others who will eventually you know, the
descendants who will get those things later. If you want
to sell the house, you sell the house, you want
to buy a car, sell a car, what you can
do whatever it's you've got full you know, ability to
use that. So I'm saying that to say that my
you know, and my dad had all those things set
up that way, but I I he was he was
(22:18):
pretty buttoned up in his life overall. But I didn't know,
and the three of us didn't, you know know. So
when I became the independent administrator, is what it was for,
you know, all of his affairs that then allowed and
that had to be done judicially. You have to have
a certified document or whatever and get you know, the
death certificate and all those things, and then you're acting
(22:40):
on behalf and can start to close accounts, do what
you need to do, you know, or what have you.
It's well, well, but that was such a learning experience.
I guess that's what I'm saying. I realized, Okay, I
don't want this surprise. I mean, I know when my
mom passed, the first thing was uh, and you're at
the funeral home and they're already asking you to make decisions,
and you're like, because you and with my dad passing,
(23:06):
my brother and sister and I think God, we were
able to do this together. But there was that moment.
Even when you know and you've got a plan, you
still have that disruption of the emotional shock, which is
why you need to have the plan in the first place,
because eventually that will start to you know, fade is
enough for you to be able to go, Okay, now
what and then you've got something to follow.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
And I think that's what jose was asking. And so
for Mary, she is going to be feeling a million feelings,
you know if it if it goes down that way.
So for you to do this for her now is
to do a favor for her. Yeah, it's to do
a favor for her at a difficult time, which will
be a difficult time, but life, you know, the business
of life will go on. She will need to pick
up that pick up the business of the life. So
(23:50):
to me, and I know it's really Murphy and Sam
you wanted to hear from Jose But I would say,
between now, in the next two or three months, between
now and the end of the year, what are all
the things that you are tending to that come your way,
that you do without thinking the business of the family.
When you do it, that's when you begin to make
your notes, your Mary file. That's how you begin to
(24:13):
make it.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, and you can start all that homework, you know. Now,
I would just you know, say again, because we are
not attorneys and CPA's you know, and financial advisors, and
the first thing most people think when they want to
retain attorneys, oh my god, how much is this going
to cost? Or whatever? You know you can there are
free consensations for everything if you don't have one. But
(24:33):
you know, when you start to put together that structure
of what she needs to know and how she needs
to execute it, you know, don't go that part alone.
Make sure that you're getting advice from you know, professionals
on that. I'm telling you that makes a big difference.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Is a podcast of three people that right.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
You know, that's right. Although I'm happy, happy to help
and you know and share, we don't have all the answers,
but it's one thing in one direction that hopefully will help.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Thank you for asking us. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Missed any part of the show. Did it All on
the Murphy, Salm and Jody Podcast
Welcome to the Murphy Sam and Jody after the show podcast, lots.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Of comments and emails and messages roll in, and we
do read and see every single one. But we have
this most beautiful question to messenger through our Instagram and
Facebook from Jose and I want to read it okay,
and it addresses all of us Murphy, Sam and Jody. Jody.
You mentioned a few months ago that you discovered Jody's file,
(00:27):
and I don't mean to bring the mood down, but
a friend of mine passed away last week at only
forty four years old, and it really got me thinking
about how prepared we are for the unexpected Murphy. If
you're able to share, I'd be interested in hearing in general,
what's included in Jody's file. I have some things set
(00:47):
up for my spouse, but I realized I don't really
have a Mary's file put together. Sam, I'd also love
your perspective. Do you have something similar a kids file
with important information your kids would need some day. I'm
not sure if this is something you would want to
discuss on the show or after the show podcast, but
I think it could be a helpful topic and I
(01:08):
would like to hear all three of you and your
thoughts on what people should have organized for their spouse, kids,
or family in case of something unexpected. Thank you for
sharing and thank you for your time. That is from
Jose on messenger. And you know what, I'm sorry about
the loss of your friend. And it is a very
smart and beautiful thing to think about and do well.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
And forty four is young, and you're right, Jose to
be thinking like that because you know, we tend to
because it's life, it's human nature. We want to put
this to be late seventies, eighties or even nineties the
way that you know people are living today.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
So we have no guarante, but I'm.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I'm happy to share with that. Let me get my
list of passwords open here one Hose.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I will tell you all Murphy gets his thoughts together.
It came about because of my nervousness once we had
kids and we had you know, we were had this
life together, and I realized that Murphy handles all the business,
you know, and it's how I love it. You know,
I don't want to run the taxes and all this
kind of stuff. I run other stuff and we have
this partnership. But I was like, I need you to
(02:11):
create this for me or show me, because I realized
it would have been dom and ignorant of me not
to know what to do if something were to happen
to you, because you're pulling all the strings if you will.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
You and I have been. You and I have we've
been a team on this for a long time now.
And Jose, I guess what I will say. It actually
starts with what all this came from originally? Is I
tend to be a do it yourself or have been?
And it took me probably I don't know. When I
turned thirty. I finally realized, Okay, some things in life
I don't need to be trying to do myself just
because I can read about it or whatever, because there
(02:46):
are people who do things for a living that do
it better and know all the ins and outs than
I would. And so that started with going to a
financial planner. Honestly is where all this began with which
I was thirty years old in that because I was
you know, I realized, are I going to make it
to the Promised Land if they're at all? If I
was trying to do all that myself, and so you
know that was you know, somebody that I brought into
(03:09):
my life early on. I think I mistakenly thought that
you had to have a financial planner if you made
lots and lots and lots of money. Well that's not
the truth. The truth is, you know, everyone needs a
financial planner because that's how you plan for retirement. It's
not about the amount of money that you have. And
during that session she recommended me. She asked, the first
question is okay, well you have two daughters, do you
(03:31):
do you and Jody have a will? And I realized, now, actually,
we don't have a will. And it's weird to when
you're thirty, you're thinking that's kind of creepy to talk about.
But again you start to realize.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Okay, it's smart, it's real.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
And you have to And the reason that I went
ahead and got that done is because the three of
us traveled together a lot, which meant Jody and I
were traveling together at the same time. And if for
some reason, God forbid, anything had ever happened that, you know,
we were covered. Because again, you hope you never have
to use that document. The problem is if it has
to be used and it doesn't exist.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
That was born out of my fear though part of this.
Remember that, because I would say we would you and
I would fly separately, well, I would be on a
plane with Sam and you would be joining us later.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
That was going to right, I was going to say
that you did. That was after we signed the wills.
That's when you got the fear of the Okay, we're
not traveling together. That's kind of followed that. You know,
I'm sorry, but anyway, So the reason I go all
that way back to say is to realize that was
sort of the first things that I put into place.
And so you know, several years had gone by before
Jodi said, I, you know, I don't do any of this,
(04:36):
the finances and stuff. How do we How do I
know if you were ever not here, how to handle that.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I watched my mother go through that when my dad
passed away at a very young age, he was forty,
and I watched her have to rebuild her life, and
I do mean her financial life and her business life
and taking care of business and that kind of You
would almost think that I would be all in, but
it's just not my interest or you know, I trust
(05:04):
you completely with it, and so but I do need
to know, you know, I do need to know if
I ever have to open something of the folder that
I that it's there.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I think it's more important now today because everything is
electronic and anything that can be auto deducted. I mean,
I don't know if you do this, Sam, though I don't.
I can't think of a bill that I pay anymore
by stopping and paying it. It either is automatically deducted.
I haven't written a check in years, in fact, when
somebody asked me to, and so with my parents it
(05:38):
would have been easier. You just have documents to go
through and you can find the numbers and this, that
and the other. But that's not as easy in the
in the digital world. So Jose, where I would start
with that is really the basics. Do you have multiple accounts,
checking accounts and credit cards? And it's it's getting all
of those things together. Those are absolutely in the documents,
(06:00):
you know, so that Jody knows what and even more
important than you know passwords and stuff like that, not
that those aren't important, but realize when someone passes away,
you're not going to have or your spouse is not
going to have immediate access to something that their name
is not on. So an username and a password is
not necessarily going to do a whole lot of good ultimately,
(06:21):
you know, at some point, so make sure that you're
documenting the name of the institution, the account number, and
a contact number or person, especially if you have somebody individually,
and those things are you know, the basics that even
if a user name and password can't be found, once
you have a death certificate in, everything else that you
(06:42):
need is like what they call an independent letter of
administrator or whatever it is that gives you the ability
to act on behalf of the deceased person. And I'm
not trying to get complicated there, what bottom line is,
that's another circumstance altogether. Generally speaking, if your spouse is
not on the account name with you, they're not going
to have direct access if they can't get in with
(07:03):
the user name and password, and they cannot conduct transactions
on the behalf of someone until you're actually officially added
to the account. So all I'm trying to say is
that's why it's important to have more than a username
and a password and account. You need to have a
contact person and a phone number so that once you
get down the line of this.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Mary could do that. In other words, so that I
could do that. So you have that in the folder
for me, but in short time contact information in case
for the accounts, my name is not on. My name's
not right.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And but because you know, if bills are being automatically
paid and there's still money in that account and both
you know, spouses or whomever have partners have the access
to that account, anybody who's a signatory in the account,
then you know, I mean, you can fund the account.
I guess if you have to, it's you're bridging a gap.
So user names and user names and passwords absolutely are
(07:56):
important there. And then if depending on how you have
different things in your life structured, if it's the four
to one K, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
If it is they have separate ones.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You know, the Social Security benefits and knowing how to
access those statements.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Insurance, I just brought the Jody file for this, huh, Insurance.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
And beneficiary designations and all that kind of stuff. And
you know, because for example, one thing that I learned
when it was me and Jody together that you can
designate multiple beneficiaries for example on an insurance policy. And
so you know, for insurance, if it were to happen
to either of us. The primary is each other, the spouse.
(08:41):
The secondary beneficiary would be a trust you know, that
would be executed by an attorney. Because the girls were
under age, it's not like somebody's got to be a recipient,
and that can't be just another person unless it's somebody
you really do trust. But we made that independent.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Sam.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah, right, And I'm trying not to go too far
into the weeds. I'm trying to stay top line here.
So it's accounts like credit cards, bank information, the basics
and those things that you know. However, there may be
other simple things like you know, the water bill account
number and the electric built account number, all account numbers
that you have, anything that gets paid automatically. Make sure
(09:19):
you've got that part, you know, you just written down somewhere,
even if it's printing a receipt and sticking that in
a folder. You don't have to be as fancy as
making an Excel spreadsheet if you don't want to, which
I made for Joe. I was gonna ask that right.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Look, look the times I've put my eyes on it.
I was looking for something in your file cabinet, and
I saw it the other day, like months ago. This
is when he must have heard it. It's when you
heard it, Jose. I opened it up and I was like, oh,
this is it, low, this is the folder. But I
didn't really want to go too deep. And do you know,
I didn't want to, like I don't need to you're here.
But I saw that it was all business. You had
(09:54):
even asked me Sam, was there a little note from
Murphy like hey, sorry, I'm gone, I love you. None
of it was just strictly business, which is great. Yeah,
it should be strictly business. I need it to be.
I want it to be there.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And look, there may be things like you know, you
may have side hustles that you have LLCs for and
you may have like Murphy Salmon Jody is a business
in addition to what we do. Those those all have
complex working parts that need to be documented somewhere. I
will say though that you know, everybody's level of comfort
with that is different. And at the end of the day, again,
I don't think it matters, you know, whether you know
(10:28):
you make ten thousand dollars a year or whether you
make a million dollars a year. Everyone is is well
served to have, at least if you don't use them regularly.
A CPA that you can count on, an attorney that
you can count on, and and a financial advisor. And
if you have those three things in the attorney part,
really at the end of the day, all those instructions
are left with you know, my attorney, and so I
(10:51):
guess as long as you know I all live him,
we're in business. I guess that folder but you know
the but that way you have somebody can also assist
with it. Because here's the other thing. I will you say,
Jose and these are all great questions, is and you
don't think about these things until they happen. And I
guess I learned about them because of both my parents
(11:11):
passing and when my dad finally passed and realized, well, okay,
this is serious. Now you get all of this legal
transition that's going on. You have to get through the
grief first before you can pay attention to any of
those decisions. And it's it's very difficult. You're like, wait,
I got to do what first, because life and legality
still happen. You know, Well, that's.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Exactly what I was about to say. If something happened
to you, I would be grieving, but I would also
worry about the bills. I would be immediately at that folder,
well at after I would. I would be because I
would know I'm not spoiled anymore. I don't have you
to handle all of that. You would big girl pants
on and start taking care of the biz.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yeah, you would have to make sure that the bank
account is funded to be able to cover the bills
and the continue to automatically draft. I know, And that's
why we had to with my you know, my dad's
the mistake that I made. And again I didn't know.
I didn't know when he passed away and the funeral
expenses needed to be you know done, My brother and
sister and were trying to figure all that out. We
(12:13):
put the funeral expenses on his credit card, which then
got flagged about twenty days later as fraudulent. Serious business
by the way, on that, because when someone passes away,
every financial institution is notified about that person's Social Security
number that they have passed yes, which immediately triggers everything.
(12:34):
And with credit card companies, it's a it's going to
be on day one after that's reported, it's going to
be fraud.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And that probably happens a lot, right.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yeah, Well, we didn't know that night.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
So families are like, let's pay for it with what
he wanted us to pay for it with his stuff.
Let's do it. Yeah, and you're like, no, you can't.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Well that's yeah, that's that's what they said. Obviously, it's like,
I'm sorry, your dad can't pay for his own funeral.
Ah okay, yeah no, but seriously, it's because it was
his credit card, not me. And though yes, we were
going to be the ones who handle all that, everything
was you know, being you know, succeeded succession, whatever you
call it to us.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Do you feel confident about the folder as is today?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, I'm I make sure I go back and I
you know, and I update it for you.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
We're good, Yeah, because because the thing is, passwords change
and all those things change. And that's why I say
the backup part, you know, other than the fact that
and you can this is all different things now too.
I didn't realize we'd go down these rabbit holes, so
I apologize. But you know, like Google and certainly Facebook,
(13:35):
and I'm trying to think of other storage you know,
I don't I don't know if one driver, Microsoft does it.
You can assign legacy contacts now I know you can
do it with that Apple Eye Cloud that way, if
you pass on, you know there's a legacy person who
is trusted to be able to do anything on your
behalf in that account, I would say that, you know,
(13:55):
in today's tech world, I would do that, you know.
I mean, it's it's already. I think you can run
my Facebook page already, Jody. I think I made you
legacy content on.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I'm not worried about your Facebook, right, but flow on
the list about that.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
But I think if you like, if you use Google Drive,
I don't know about Dropbox, if you use Google Drive,
if you use iCloud, and you've got those accounts, I'm
pretty sure you can assign legacy. And so that's an
important thing just in case the password thing gets scorely.
Are there documents? Everything else though, is not really always
going to require a username in a password, once you
(14:32):
get the legal documentation that's needed if you've got account
numbers and titles and contact numbers, and you can prove
who you are at that point, and that that proof
is going to be usually some combination of a death
certificate and some document that proves you can operate conduct
this business on behalf of the person who's passed. Yeah,
then you're going to be, you know, in better shape.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Well, I will say that where we have fallen down,
Jose or I have fallen downs. Once you put that
together and I know that you update it regularly, and
I believe that it's buttoned up. I know that it is.
We still should go through it together sometime in case
I have a question, but we just don't do it.
We just don't do it for that reason of odds. There,
(15:15):
let's go out to eat instead. I want to watch
TV instead. It's pink.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
It's a pink it's the pink Jodi folder. Yeah, which
I did that to try to, you know, to try
to help.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
That, try to light the mood a little bit since
you're dead in this scenario.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And I'm also to show you how mister safety that
I am. You have to go two different places to
be able to access the information. So if somebody would
have grabbed that folder, they.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Don't have, Yeah, it's gonna be uh.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
In other words, they do be a long day.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
For me, a scavenger hunt.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Probably. No, they're not going to use That's another thing, Jose, Like,
that's one more thing that's behind the scenes.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Is that.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
The reason I've always been so grateful for the folder
and I pushed for and begged for it is because
you are so thorough and extra. As I like to say,
there's a lot, you know, Murphy is a lot when
it comes to business, Like if there's a five step authentication,
he's going to do the ten step, you know. And
(16:12):
so I'm assuming it's not going to be easy. Boxes
checked if I ever receive that folder. I don't believe
it's going to be easy. I do believe it's going
to be laid out for me because you know me
very well, and it's laid out for me, and I
know what we have. I know our assets and our debts.
I do know that unless you're keeping something from me.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
So that's more than password one.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
And to you, Sam, because asked about you as well.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
No, I have started it and started it and started
it and I've never finished.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
It's tough to do, right, I mean, it really is.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
In my computer. I have a folder that says what
folder should we open? If Dad is Dad? Because I
figure if they open up my computer, it's going to
be where do we look?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Right there?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
And by putting accounts in there, saving some financial accounts good,
but it's nowhere near that.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
It's not her style.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I'll start doing it and then it's just like, Okay,
I don't like doing this, and I go do something else.
I know it needs to be done.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Put your feelings aside in facts. The fact is somebody's
going to have to open that one day. Yeah, it's
just it's a fact. They will deal with their feelings
as well, and you can deal with your feelings about
the fact that you're not going to be here forever.
But the fact is someone will need to open that folder.
It might be Sammy, it might be Maddie, it might
be all of them together. You can do it.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, And it's a I understand exactly what you mean though,
because it becomes a little bit of a chore, and
it's one of those it's like.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Because you have to remember every little I mean, granted,
Facebook is not that important when it comes down to death,
but you have to remember every little account that you have,
and are the ones you only deal with once a year.
It's like, oh, yeah, there's that one too. Put it
on there. You got some life insurance over here that
my mom purchased when I was a child, don't forget that.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Oh wow, yeah, yeah, when in another way to get
started on it. If everything is electronic, which most things
are now. I mean, I grew up with my parents
had a file cabinet, and boy did they keep everything.
We used to tease them about that, but I'm really
glad they did. Because they didn't have a list of anything.
We had to pull all those things together and so
(18:22):
that was a huge help. But I don't like paperwork.
I'm only if it has to be on paper physically,
I don't want it anymore. And so it's all electronic.
And so the only way for me to know what
I'm actually doing is to use a program like a
Monarch money or whatever it is you want to do,
is a you know, Rocket money whatever. There's a million
(18:42):
of these kind of you know, financial programs out there.
You can use quick books or whatever, and all you
have to do the banks. It's all electronically connected. Go
see what you actually spent on your credit cards, and
in your bank account you'll know what you're paying every month.
So it's pretty easy to pull all that together electronically.
If it's something that you're just getting started on, you
know what would be you know, my suggestion. But but
I hear you. It's like once you get into you.
(19:05):
But I don't know how, and I don't know where
this and and that's for me. I guess over time,
because I am, like Jody said, she's right, I'm extra.
There are a lot of side hustles and things that
I over the years of accumulating things, and so I
have like a lot of information and data the things
that have to be taken care of, intended to shut
(19:26):
down or whatever it is going to be that if
I'm never you know, if I'm not around anymore, and
that I don't want that falling onto Jody unknowingly that
a letter shows up and the mail certified something from
somebody that she's never heard of, you know, like our
bank accounts and the Caymans for example.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Okay, hat that I need to know about. I don't
even know about.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
I wish, but no, you've got I mean you've got
all of those.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I know about the LLC. LLC's no, because we've done
those things together. I do know about it. But I'm
spoiled that I don't dabble in it. Yeah, we have
this partnership. I've always told the girls, you know, we have.
Maybe it is unbalanced, maybe it is not probably the
smartest thing to do, but I haven't done taxes in
twenty something years. Because you do that, you also haven't
(20:12):
you know, cooked or about bought milk. We have this,
you know, I kind of ran this kid's schedules and
things like that and it just worked. That's the way
it worked. Well. Look, so when I hear myself say that,
I realized, Jodie, get in that folder and talk with
him about it. No and no. So you can. So
if you ever have that, have to face that. You're ready.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
But we went through the top line part of the
pink sheet a while back, and the thing is, yeah,
it's a.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
And we went to dinner.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Yeah, but it's a partnership and it's it really is
because I'm not doing those things in a vacuum. I
take care of them, but you know what they are, yeah,
just like I know what you're doing. I mean, yeah,
it's true whether it's food, where the kids are or whatever.
So we're communicating those things together. But but yeah, it's
it's just weird. Life changes the urgency on that as
(21:00):
it goes on. And the biggest change for me, honestly
was when my dad died five years ago, I learned
and I thought I had learned a lot of that
because my grandmother passed in twenty eleven.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I didn't handle it handling it is everything right.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Right, my mom passed and my dad was able to
handle some things. But you know, it's the whole usufruct situation,
and you know, it was a fairly simple usufruc, which
is when two spouses are together. And I don't know
if every state has usufruct or not, but you know,
in Louisiana it's when both my parents. When one parent passes,
(21:33):
it's community property state. Everything goes to the other's spouse,
but they've got until if you're will specify something's going
to the children, the spouse has full usage of any
of that. Even if they don't they don't own the
spouse's share, they've got full usage of everything.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
The house like, right, correct, Yeah, and I would have
the house in usufruct.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
But you can also make, you know, decisions out the
approval from the others who will eventually you know, the
descendants who will get those things later. If you want
to sell the house, you sell the house, you want
to buy a car, sell a car, what you can
do whatever it's you've got full you know, ability to
use that. So I'm saying that to say that my
you know, and my dad had all those things set
up that way, but I I he was he was
(22:18):
pretty buttoned up in his life overall. But I didn't know,
and the three of us didn't, you know know. So
when I became the independent administrator, is what it was for,
you know, all of his affairs that then allowed and
that had to be done judicially. You have to have
a certified document or whatever and get you know, the
death certificate and all those things, and then you're acting
(22:40):
on behalf and can start to close accounts, do what
you need to do, you know, or what have you.
It's well, well, but that was such a learning experience.
I guess that's what I'm saying. I realized, Okay, I
don't want this surprise. I mean, I know when my
mom passed, the first thing was uh, and you're at
the funeral home and they're already asking you to make decisions,
and you're like, because you and with my dad passing,
(23:06):
my brother and sister and I think God, we were
able to do this together. But there was that moment.
Even when you know and you've got a plan, you
still have that disruption of the emotional shock, which is
why you need to have the plan in the first place,
because eventually that will start to you know, fade is
enough for you to be able to go, Okay, now
what and then you've got something to follow.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
And I think that's what jose was asking. And so
for Mary, she is going to be feeling a million feelings,
you know if it if it goes down that way.
So for you to do this for her now is
to do a favor for her. Yeah, it's to do
a favor for her at a difficult time, which will
be a difficult time, but life, you know, the business
of life will go on. She will need to pick
up that pick up the business of the life. So
(23:50):
to me, and I know it's really Murphy and Sam
you wanted to hear from Jose But I would say,
between now, in the next two or three months, between
now and the end of the year, what are all
the things that you are tending to that come your way,
that you do without thinking the business of the family.
When you do it, that's when you begin to make
your notes, your Mary file. That's how you begin to
(24:13):
make it.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, and you can start all that homework, you know. Now,
I would just you know, say again, because we are
not attorneys and CPA's you know, and financial advisors, and
the first thing most people think when they want to
retain attorneys, oh my god, how much is this going
to cost? Or whatever? You know you can there are
free consensations for everything if you don't have one. But
(24:33):
you know, when you start to put together that structure
of what she needs to know and how she needs
to execute it, you know, don't go that part alone.
Make sure that you're getting advice from you know, professionals
on that. I'm telling you that makes a big difference.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Is a podcast of three people that right.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
You know, that's right. Although I'm happy, happy to help
and you know and share, we don't have all the answers,
but it's one thing in one direction that hopefully will help.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Thank you for asking us. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Missed any part of the show. Did it All on
the Murphy, Salm and Jody Podcast
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