May 21, 2020 • 10 mins
GROUP THERAPY Thursday: Sam is feeling bad about something - and we aren't having it! 😘
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Murphy, Sam and Chony after the show.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Okay, so Sam the ukulele that sits at home? Yeah no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
In a nutshell, Sam got a ukulele at the beginning
of the stay at home in place? What everything? And
so now we were, what nine ten weeks into this
and you've not picked it up right, No, but your
intentions are good and you tuned it every so that's right,
and you have the app to tune with them. So
you see, you've got the right. You have the foundation.
The next thing is really just the commitment.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I wanted to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
You have the foundating he could do the graduations.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
You have the foundation. Now you just need a commitment.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
And what do you call this? I call it foundation
and commitment.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I bring it up because you know, we were sort
of picking on you about it, like why would you
not do this? The only reason that I want you
to do it is because I think it would bring
you joy.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It would. But that's why I got it in the
first place, because I know I would. I know, and
I don't know if I've told you this before, but
it's like I wish I had the skill. I wish
i'd have started this much sooner and younger, because I
know you can pick these up easier as you're younger.
Rick Springfields all us that, yes he did when we
talked to him. But banjo, and this is going to
(01:23):
sound really left field, but banjo, bagpipes, and accordion, I
wish I knew how to play all three of those.
Really don't care about guitars and all that other stuff.
Those they just the sounds.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Well. I've heard that the banchow is pretty complex. It is,
and you know, on the scale of things, the ukulele,
I've heard an idiot can play, because I can't play
a ukulele. But we watched our girls that they had
the same thing. They were interested and they just started
doing it. And the next thing, you know, years later,
and they had fun. I mean they would just we
would be on trips right to the beach or some
(01:54):
of the mountains or whatever, and they would just play
in the back.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
It's just like rollerblading. When Sammy and Will were little,
they jumped on him and they didn't care. I was
scared to death that I was gonna follow you.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And I don't have the life experience of worrying about
the obstacle They just worry about the They're just excited
about the outcome, which is beautiful. Which is beautiful.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
That's what life is.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
It's okay. The reason I bring it up is because
this happens to all of us. What is happening with
you with this is completely common. Okay. There are things
that you think you want to do and things that
you think you are interested in, and you go dig
in and it's like, man, you're the same person. You know.
There are so many times when Phoebe is at home
(02:33):
painting a beautiful canvas and she comes out with something
and I'm like, I'll paint with you next time. I'd
love to paint again. I've told you all that. I'm like,
I'm gonna start painting again because years ago I used
to do art before the girls were born.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Oh yeah, I mean, And I remember you got Murphy
to buy some camera equipment because you were going to
get into photography.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
No, I no, he bought camera equipment for himself.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
So the good news is we already had that in place,
and so when Jody bailed on the idea, it didn't
cost you any.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Because me, I took photography courses in college. I've done
plenty of it. I just was gonna start shooting pictures again.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
And then there was that table she got for her mom.
Yeah oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well, now, to Jody's credit, you know, it was a
test table to do the distressed look before actually doing
it to the actual dable.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I never touched because I realized a few it was
like one coat and I'm like, oh, I don't like
doing this.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I mean, it's as stupid as it this may sound,
at least you try, and even if you don't, you tried.
And it's saying if you decided to try again, great,
and if it's a hobby, nobody's forcing you to do it. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
What I'm saying is, I think it's more important to
try and learn about yourself. Learn something about yourself. You
know what I learned. I'm not painting tables because I
don't like it. Well, I like the way it looks.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Going back to the guitar when you let me your
dad's guitar, and this is kind of it's the same
thing basically in a smaller version.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah, it's it's you think you want to do it.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It's it's like to part, you know, kind of use
the commitment thing it's like your eyes are bigger than
the commitment.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yes, well, yeah, it's it's a fancy, it's an emotion.
It catches you in a moment. You get really excited
about it. And like anything else, if it's not that
feeling's out there.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
The good news is I have it. Yeah, So when
that weekend comes or that evening or and that that
thing comes back that remember you were going to learn
how to do this, and let's do it. It's there.
I don't have to wait for prime shipping for it
to arrive.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yes, And I think the most important thing for you,
especially is to not let it. Don't attach a feeling
to it. Do not attach a feeling of failure to it.
I don't feel like a failure because of I didn't,
you know, get back into photography. I had that idea
for one week and I decided, you know what, I don't.
You know, it doesn't have to have a feeling attached
(04:46):
to it. There's nothing wrong with you having a yuke
that you didn't play. You've got it for Maddie when.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
They get and by the way she left it in
her room, sitting there perfectly.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
It's like, yeah, you know, and I think as apparent
when I think back with the girls and us raising that.
You know, when they're showing interest and they want to
try something, even if you know they're not going to
stick to it, you still want to nurture that part
of them and support it. And I remember when they
first started playing the yuk or when Taylor was playing guitar,
which she doesn't. She lost interest in that, but you know,
(05:15):
picked up the piano and she loves the piano, so
she practiced it a lot. But it is even if
it even if it was noisy and Jody and I
were trying to do other things or concentrate or whatever,
I never interrupted that. We never interrupted there to something
that was a passion that they were developing and working
on because I didn't want to do anything that like, uh,
what's the word I'm looking for about it?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah? Oh, they take big cues for how you feel
about things.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Do you remember how I told you the stories of
when I was a little girl and I thought I
wanted to play piano, Murphy, I've never told you that
because it's a little bit of a scar.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Well, did somebody tell you that you wouldn't be able
to do it?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
What happened.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
My mom and dad bought me a piano instead of
a real one. Yes, I talked about wanting to play piano.
I had never really put my fingers on one except
at church every once in a great while when I
would be there Pau Paul was a pastor and he
would be in his office and I'd go in the
in the auditorium and bang out on the piano, which
with no musical background talent, just play and I like
the way it felt. So I don't know why my
(06:18):
parents bought me a brand new piano. I was eight
years old. Maybe wow, no pressure. And then I started
taking lessons and I did lose interest in it pretty quickly,
and I had to be honest that I went to
a couple of recitals where I did okay, but I
did not love it, and I stopped playing it. And
(06:39):
it was a source. It was a tension of sort.
It was a sore spot, mainly because of what they
paid for it, and they didn't have they It was
a blue collar situation and my, my, you know, it
was a big deal. I know exactly how much that
piano costs because it was thrown at me a lot
like this is this cost blankety blank. How it was
(06:59):
like I never asked for a brand new piano.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Did the price go up every time they said it?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
No, the price was always four hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Oh, that wasn't bad for a piano.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It was back then for them, it was there is
a piano.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Now.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I don't know. They sold it. By the time I
was a teenager, they sold that thing and it was gone,
and I was so glad because I didn't want to
see it anymore. I don't want to pass by it
in the living room. And that was that was. Look.
I don't talk about it a lot because I don't
want to throw shade. But that's not the way to
handle it.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
At the age of eight, right you could I have known? Well, no,
and at the age of eight they probably should have,
you know, like, okay, well, what's a way to do this.
Let's take her, let's let her practice somewhere. Yeah, you
go take the lessons on somebody else's piano, and then
if you like it, then we'll buy you that.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
They were just trying to do something for me, which
is a beautiful act of love, and it was difficult
for them to do it. I should not have anything
negative say about it. But the way that they reacted
to my losing interest in it, it was, it was
it was not a good situation.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Well, it doesn't support that. And look at eight, you're
not going to know all the things that you want
to do. I think it needs to be they did
if you were. You know, once you get older and
you're making decisions that do have financial impact or safety
impact or all those kind of things. Yes, I mean
it's a parent should you know, weigh in and possibly
steer you away from some things. But if it doesn't,
(08:18):
I mean, if it doesn't, then you really you're you're
going to do the child a better thing by nurturing
it and.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Offering them understanding. Life is like that. Look at Sam,
he's with the ukulele. He's not sure yet. Life is
like that.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You're going to say, all the marriage I would never
try and try again.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
There we go again.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Just don't attach a feeling that you think I do something.
Don't ever, I'm saying children, anybody.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I'm not attaching it to Maddie did that feel? And
to me, I'm still frustrated that I can't get the
magic back to do it. But when she saw it
and she picked it up and she spent the weekend
plucking away on it, watching videos and every couple of
hours look, look, look, and it's like look and in
two place, see.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
God, that's like Phoebe.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
So it's like, yeah, that I didn't do anything with it,
but you did and you're enjoying it. So I'm liking this.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
She's probably looking forward to picking it up again when
she sees you again. Well, it's very cool.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
It is a time commitment, and I think that you know, there's.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
That word again.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Well. Rick Springfield, as you said in the interview we
did with him all those years ago, said it's easier
to do as a kid. I don't know that it's
just about the memory party, but it's about the time
you can commit to it, you know what I mean.
When you have a full time job and you're raising
kids and eagerness and all those others. It is now
now you have to prioritize and make choices in order
(09:38):
to do this. Then I have to give up that
and that's tough to do, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
And as an adult we have more built in negative
talk too. I think the reasons possible reasons to talk
yourself out of doing it.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I don't have that you need to be your own
best friend in your head.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Well, all I know now is the foundation is laid,
Yes it is, and I just need the commitment.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Right. Well, I'm glad I can help take away this way.
Sam
Welcome to Murphy, Sam and Chony after the show.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Okay, so Sam the ukulele that sits at home? Yeah no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
In a nutshell, Sam got a ukulele at the beginning
of the stay at home in place? What everything? And
so now we were, what nine ten weeks into this
and you've not picked it up right, No, but your
intentions are good and you tuned it every so that's right,
and you have the app to tune with them. So
you see, you've got the right. You have the foundation.
The next thing is really just the commitment.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I wanted to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
You have the foundating he could do the graduations.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
You have the foundation. Now you just need a commitment.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
And what do you call this? I call it foundation
and commitment.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I bring it up because you know, we were sort
of picking on you about it, like why would you
not do this? The only reason that I want you
to do it is because I think it would bring
you joy.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It would. But that's why I got it in the
first place, because I know I would. I know, and
I don't know if I've told you this before, but
it's like I wish I had the skill. I wish
i'd have started this much sooner and younger, because I
know you can pick these up easier as you're younger.
Rick Springfields all us that, yes he did when we
talked to him. But banjo, and this is going to
(01:23):
sound really left field, but banjo, bagpipes, and accordion, I
wish I knew how to play all three of those.
Really don't care about guitars and all that other stuff.
Those they just the sounds.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Well. I've heard that the banchow is pretty complex. It is,
and you know, on the scale of things, the ukulele,
I've heard an idiot can play, because I can't play
a ukulele. But we watched our girls that they had
the same thing. They were interested and they just started
doing it. And the next thing, you know, years later,
and they had fun. I mean they would just we
would be on trips right to the beach or some
(01:54):
of the mountains or whatever, and they would just play
in the back.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
It's just like rollerblading. When Sammy and Will were little,
they jumped on him and they didn't care. I was
scared to death that I was gonna follow you.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And I don't have the life experience of worrying about
the obstacle They just worry about the They're just excited
about the outcome, which is beautiful. Which is beautiful.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
That's what life is.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
It's okay. The reason I bring it up is because
this happens to all of us. What is happening with
you with this is completely common. Okay. There are things
that you think you want to do and things that
you think you are interested in, and you go dig
in and it's like, man, you're the same person. You know.
There are so many times when Phoebe is at home
(02:33):
painting a beautiful canvas and she comes out with something
and I'm like, I'll paint with you next time. I'd
love to paint again. I've told you all that. I'm like,
I'm gonna start painting again because years ago I used
to do art before the girls were born.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Oh yeah, I mean, And I remember you got Murphy
to buy some camera equipment because you were going to
get into photography.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
No, I no, he bought camera equipment for himself.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
So the good news is we already had that in place,
and so when Jody bailed on the idea, it didn't
cost you any.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Because me, I took photography courses in college. I've done
plenty of it. I just was gonna start shooting pictures again.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
And then there was that table she got for her mom.
Yeah oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well, now, to Jody's credit, you know, it was a
test table to do the distressed look before actually doing
it to the actual dable.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I never touched because I realized a few it was
like one coat and I'm like, oh, I don't like
doing this.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I mean, it's as stupid as it this may sound,
at least you try, and even if you don't, you tried.
And it's saying if you decided to try again, great,
and if it's a hobby, nobody's forcing you to do it. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
What I'm saying is, I think it's more important to
try and learn about yourself. Learn something about yourself. You
know what I learned. I'm not painting tables because I
don't like it. Well, I like the way it looks.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Going back to the guitar when you let me your
dad's guitar, and this is kind of it's the same
thing basically in a smaller version.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah, it's it's you think you want to do it.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
It's it's like to part, you know, kind of use
the commitment thing it's like your eyes are bigger than
the commitment.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yes, well, yeah, it's it's a fancy, it's an emotion.
It catches you in a moment. You get really excited
about it. And like anything else, if it's not that
feeling's out there.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
The good news is I have it. Yeah, So when
that weekend comes or that evening or and that that
thing comes back that remember you were going to learn
how to do this, and let's do it. It's there.
I don't have to wait for prime shipping for it
to arrive.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yes, And I think the most important thing for you,
especially is to not let it. Don't attach a feeling
to it. Do not attach a feeling of failure to it.
I don't feel like a failure because of I didn't,
you know, get back into photography. I had that idea
for one week and I decided, you know what, I don't.
You know, it doesn't have to have a feeling attached
(04:46):
to it. There's nothing wrong with you having a yuke
that you didn't play. You've got it for Maddie when.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
They get and by the way she left it in
her room, sitting there perfectly.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
It's like, yeah, you know, and I think as apparent
when I think back with the girls and us raising that.
You know, when they're showing interest and they want to
try something, even if you know they're not going to
stick to it, you still want to nurture that part
of them and support it. And I remember when they
first started playing the yuk or when Taylor was playing guitar,
which she doesn't. She lost interest in that, but you know,
(05:15):
picked up the piano and she loves the piano, so
she practiced it a lot. But it is even if
it even if it was noisy and Jody and I
were trying to do other things or concentrate or whatever,
I never interrupted that. We never interrupted there to something
that was a passion that they were developing and working
on because I didn't want to do anything that like, uh,
what's the word I'm looking for about it?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah? Oh, they take big cues for how you feel
about things.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Do you remember how I told you the stories of
when I was a little girl and I thought I
wanted to play piano, Murphy, I've never told you that
because it's a little bit of a scar.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Well, did somebody tell you that you wouldn't be able
to do it?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
What happened.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
My mom and dad bought me a piano instead of
a real one. Yes, I talked about wanting to play piano.
I had never really put my fingers on one except
at church every once in a great while when I
would be there Pau Paul was a pastor and he
would be in his office and I'd go in the
in the auditorium and bang out on the piano, which
with no musical background talent, just play and I like
the way it felt. So I don't know why my
(06:18):
parents bought me a brand new piano. I was eight
years old. Maybe wow, no pressure. And then I started
taking lessons and I did lose interest in it pretty quickly,
and I had to be honest that I went to
a couple of recitals where I did okay, but I
did not love it, and I stopped playing it. And
(06:39):
it was a source. It was a tension of sort.
It was a sore spot, mainly because of what they
paid for it, and they didn't have they It was
a blue collar situation and my, my, you know, it
was a big deal. I know exactly how much that
piano costs because it was thrown at me a lot
like this is this cost blankety blank. How it was
(06:59):
like I never asked for a brand new piano.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Did the price go up every time they said it?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
No, the price was always four hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Oh, that wasn't bad for a piano.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It was back then for them, it was there is
a piano.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Now.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I don't know. They sold it. By the time I
was a teenager, they sold that thing and it was gone,
and I was so glad because I didn't want to
see it anymore. I don't want to pass by it
in the living room. And that was that was. Look.
I don't talk about it a lot because I don't
want to throw shade. But that's not the way to
handle it.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
At the age of eight, right you could I have known? Well, no,
and at the age of eight they probably should have,
you know, like, okay, well, what's a way to do this.
Let's take her, let's let her practice somewhere. Yeah, you
go take the lessons on somebody else's piano, and then
if you like it, then we'll buy you that.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
They were just trying to do something for me, which
is a beautiful act of love, and it was difficult
for them to do it. I should not have anything
negative say about it. But the way that they reacted
to my losing interest in it, it was, it was
it was not a good situation.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Well, it doesn't support that. And look at eight, you're
not going to know all the things that you want
to do. I think it needs to be they did
if you were. You know, once you get older and
you're making decisions that do have financial impact or safety
impact or all those kind of things. Yes, I mean
it's a parent should you know, weigh in and possibly
steer you away from some things. But if it doesn't,
(08:18):
I mean, if it doesn't, then you really you're you're
going to do the child a better thing by nurturing
it and.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Offering them understanding. Life is like that. Look at Sam,
he's with the ukulele. He's not sure yet. Life is
like that.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You're going to say, all the marriage I would never
try and try again.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
There we go again.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Just don't attach a feeling that you think I do something.
Don't ever, I'm saying children, anybody.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I'm not attaching it to Maddie did that feel? And
to me, I'm still frustrated that I can't get the
magic back to do it. But when she saw it
and she picked it up and she spent the weekend
plucking away on it, watching videos and every couple of
hours look, look, look, and it's like look and in
two place, see.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
God, that's like Phoebe.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
So it's like, yeah, that I didn't do anything with it,
but you did and you're enjoying it. So I'm liking this.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
She's probably looking forward to picking it up again when
she sees you again. Well, it's very cool.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
It is a time commitment, and I think that you know, there's.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
That word again.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Well. Rick Springfield, as you said in the interview we
did with him all those years ago, said it's easier
to do as a kid. I don't know that it's
just about the memory party, but it's about the time
you can commit to it, you know what I mean.
When you have a full time job and you're raising
kids and eagerness and all those others. It is now
now you have to prioritize and make choices in order
(09:38):
to do this. Then I have to give up that
and that's tough to do, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
And as an adult we have more built in negative
talk too. I think the reasons possible reasons to talk
yourself out of doing it.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I don't have that you need to be your own
best friend in your head.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Well, all I know now is the foundation is laid,
Yes it is, and I just need the commitment.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Right. Well, I'm glad I can help take away this way.
Sam
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.