Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello, my friend. Hello, Here we are once again enjoying
the marvelous month of May. The freshness of the season
is beginning to mature, and we're about to spring right
into summer. But we're not quite there yet. But it's
kind of like it in between, a little green around
the edges, but hinting at what the next season will
(00:27):
grow up to be. I love this time of year.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
How about you.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Seasons of the natural world and seasons of our lives
are ever changing, ever evolving. Some periods we enjoy more
than others. Some seasons bring elation, some carried deep sorrow,
but all are necessary as they lead to the next season.
(00:55):
My guest today, I love. Someone has written and recorded
an entire hour album dedicated to this very concept, this
very thing, this concept of seasons changing. Rita Wilson is
an American actress, producer, and singer songwriter. You might be
surprised to hear her acting career began with a guest
(01:17):
appearance on The Brady Bunch in a nineteen seventy two
episode where her character was running against Marcia Brady for
head cheerleader. She also appeared on Mash as well as
Three's Company and Bosom Buddies and on Frasier as Hester Crane,
(01:39):
the deceased mother of doctor Fraser Crane. Her film credits,
amongst other things, include The Bonfires of the Vanities, Sleepless
in Seattle, Jingle All the Way, The Story of Us,
Runaway Bride, It's Complicated, and Larry Crown. She was in
(02:02):
the television series The Good Wife Girls, and earlier this year,
joined the cast for season two of Apple TV series
The Last Thing He Told Me, alongside Jennifer Gardner. She's
also performed on Broadway and is a powerhouse movie producer
behind the blockbuster franchises including My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Mama, Mia, Mama, Mia,
(02:27):
Here we Go Again, and My Favorite A Man Called Auto.
Not surprisingly, in twenty nineteen, she received a star on
the Hollywood Walk of Fame. All that and guess what acting, performing,
directing isn't even what's bringing rita to our program today?
This multi talented woman can sing?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Boy, can she sing too?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
As a singer songwriter, she's released five studio albums, and
just this month her sixth, called Sound of a Woman,
boring the different phases of our lives as women, How
we get to who? We become as women, the trials,
the hopes, the relationships with ourselves and others, and more.
Described aptly as an excavation of the self, it's her
(03:16):
first full length effort since Now and Forever Duets in
twenty twenty two, Featuring iconic artists like Jackson Brown, Vince Gill,
Smokey Robinson, and Willie Nelson. It's a powerful album full
of storytelling. Rita explains that so much of becoming ourselves
involves the lifelong work of chipping away at the non
(03:37):
essentials and getting closer.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
To the truth of who we really are.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Rita Wilson, the Singing Storyteller, will be with us today
sharing the stories behind Sound of a Woman, but I
need to share the story of today's podcast sponsor with
you first. I'm so glad to get to share all
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They travel to medical deserts providing free, life changing surgeries
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learn about the other ways you can get involved. That's
mercyships dot org. Hi, Hi, beautiful, how are you.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
I'm wonderful. How are you?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I'm well, thank you, It's so good to see you.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Where are you in this Darling white wis treehouse?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
It's actually the treehouse. It's the office.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Your office is a treehouse, So you're in a treehouse
and I'm in a barn.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
How cool are our lives?
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I know, it's very good. It makes it feel less officecy.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You look fabulous.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Thank you, Thank you so much. Takes a village.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I say, I'm excited about this project because I started
this journey last fall where I just got sick and
tired of being sick and tired and said I need
to feel like me again, and yes, I'm reading all
the notes on all these songs, going, yes, this is
what we need.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
This is our anthem.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Oh, I love that we.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Need an anthem. We need first off, we.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Need to realize we're not alone here women in this
journey of life.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Well, you know how else I describe it. It's like
I was on the cusp of my mom's generation that
was very traditional, and my parents were immigrants, so we
had that cultural difference too, So those values were very
much ones that I was brought up with. Then it's
(06:44):
my generation, and then it's the generation just ahead of me,
which was all these incredible feminists and Gloria Steineman, Bella Abzac,
and they're out there using their voices and burning bras
and paving the way for women's rights and really using
sort of everything that they had broken out of from
(07:05):
the previous generation. So I was a little too young
to be a part of that, and very much influenced
by my mom's generation, and so I'm a late bloomer.
I think it took me a long time to really
use my voice in that way that I felt could
say something about my own experiences of being a woman.
(07:28):
Over the course of many different phases of my life,
because you know, we are not the same people that
we were twenty years ago, thirty years ago, five years ago,
even a year ago. So what is that like? What
are we saying? What do we want to explore? And
that's really what the foundation of the album.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Was, and the fact that we have permission to explore
it because our moms didn't.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
No, our moms did not have permission. It's very true.
And yet my mom was such a strong person and
she worked within the confines of her what society could
tell her that she could do. I'll never forget just
one experience, which was I was little, maybe nine ten
(08:15):
years old, and my mom took me to go shopping.
And my mom never raised her voice, never said anything
publicly that would look as if it was rebellious in
any way. But a guy was trying to cut her
off of a parking spot, and my mom was in
(08:39):
the right I was watching all of this, and she
took her parking spot, and the guy got out of
the car and started yelling at my mom in this
very disrespectful way, and my mom is just putting the
coins into the meter, and she just spoke back to
him in the most strong, clear way, and I had
(09:03):
never heard her defend herself in any way. I'd never
heard her talk back to anybody. And I was like,
you can do that, like, way to go. And I
remember being so proud of my mom. Wow, that was
really interesting. I had never seen a woman do that before. Wow,
(09:24):
that was that generation, you know. And I want to
say also, Delilah, that there are so many women, young
women that I admire, and I think, Wow, they have
had the benefits of the generations before because they use
their voices in such clear ways, and I've learned from them.
(09:44):
I'm like, yeah, look at that girl. Go girl, I'm
going to try do that.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I learned so much from my adult daughters. I am
such a much better person today because they've been parenting.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Me exactly exactly. But look, what I think we're missing
is that multi generational community. You know. I have a
lot of younger friends because I want to hear what
they're doing, and they want to hear how did you
do it?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Because you did it before it was being done. You said,
I don't care that. You know, men usually do this,
and men usually produce this, and men usually write that.
And I'm going to do it, and you did it
with grace.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Thank you, thank you. I feel like the things that
I did, I did because, for example, on Greek Wedding,
I really wanted to support this amazing writer need of
our dollars to make her project that she wrote. And
back then, you know, when we were making it, they said, well,
we want, you know, some names that they threw out
(10:49):
there to be the lead. And I said, why would
you do that? Would you tell Jerry Seinfeld he couldn't
be the lead in his movie, or Ray Romano that
he couldn't be the lead. And it was because she
wasn't a big star, but she knew the character inside
and out. So I've always felt it much easier to
support other women and to advocate for them in their
(11:11):
dreams and what they want to do. And so when
it came to music, there was no one out there
that I could use as an example of like, well,
this person started music in their fifties, you know. And
yet there were multiple examples of women over fifty that
were doing extraordinary things that weren't in music, but they're incredible.
(11:34):
I know so many women who started businesses after the
age of fifty. Nora Ephron, the director writer director toasted
me on my fiftieth birthday and said, I'm here to
tell you great things happen after the age of fifty.
I didn't direct my first movie till I was fifty,
and that really opened it up for me in the
(11:55):
songwriting world. And there's nobody writing about what I'm writing
about right now because it's very specific to having lived
a life.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Yet, you could not have written this album Sound of
a Woman, You could not have recorded these songs, You
couldn't have spoken to these truths twenty years ago, thirty
years ago, because you had to live these stories and
live these experiences.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
And I love that, well, thank you. You know there.
I think there is a bit of agism in our business,
a bit yeah, okay, polite.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
You walk into any boardroom of any broadcast company in
America and it's all men over fifty.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Right, right, And so here's what do we do. We
still keep going, we still keep pushing on. And I
was looking at female artists or writers or poets or
these women who are writing, let's say, after the age
of fifty, and you know, you painters, you can look
at their work and not know what their age is.
(13:00):
You just take the work for what the work is.
You're reading a poem, you're looking at a painting or
a photograph. But when it comes to our business, where
you're seen either as an actor or a performer, they
attribute an age to you that already categorizes you as
(13:21):
a person and not you as the artist. Like if
you didn't know who I was and I put a
new name on my album and put it out there,
somebody might look at it completely differently. So I really
hope that we can do some things here to break
that down and just take it for what it is.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Creatively, when you look like you were saying, when you
look at the body of artwork though, of women, painters, dancers, performers, whatever,
there's such layers of richness as they mature, were as
they develop, as.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
They grow older. Yeah, because they have all.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Those life experiences that are layered into whatever their art
form is.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
And we celebrate that exactly.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
But give you a microphone and put you on stage
and have you sing your truth.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Oh wait a minute, Well.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Here's where I'm at. I feel like it's all about
the story, and if somebody wants to hear a good story,
they're gonna like this album.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
You know, they're gonna love this album.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
There's a song in there called Your Mother, and it
was inspired by this thought that did we really know
our mothers? And do our children really know us?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
How old were you when you realized your mom was
a human, a person, an individual, not just mom.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Probably not till I had kids. Probably not I had kids.
I mean, she first of all, she was my best friend.
So I loved her so much, and she was really
funny and really observant and opinionated and really really creative.
But you know, I think until you have your own children,
(15:18):
you think of your mom as just this other person
that you know is there. She raised you, she did
all that, she was your mother. But when you have
your own children, you realize all the sacrifices, all the compromises,
all the love, all of the things that they had
to do. And yet my mom had a life before
(15:41):
even you know, meeting my dad, and I had a
life before meeting my husband and having my own children.
And I want it at this age now, I tell
my kids everything. I just want them to know everything,
and it's like sometimes, Mom, that's TMI, and they don't,
they don't want to hear everything. But I do feel like,
(16:02):
it's really important. We're adults now. You know, you can
say things like you're sorry for certain things that you
did that you were just doing your best at the
time and didn't know how to do it any differently.
And you can also laugh about things that you know
they they did that you know you thought you were
going to pull your hair out. So it's really to
(16:25):
me about that conversation. Just start the conversation because when
your parents go those questions are going to come up
and you're not going to be able to ask them.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I can remember the minute the second it dawned on me,
and I had a son who was like seven nine
years old, it dawned on me somebody, you know, held
my feet to the fire and said, you can forgive
this other person who beat her kids, abandoned them, her
alcoholism took her down this path, and you're willing to
(16:57):
show her grace, but you can't show your mom the
same grace. And this woman said, she's just a woman
trying her best.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, Rita.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, I wish I had your song back then.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
I would have gone on the air that night.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
And played the hell out of that because that was
life changing for me to have that epiphany that o mg,
I have been holding my mom to this standard and
I blurted out of my mouth because she's my mom.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Yes exactly, But you know what, I heard this thing
and I thought it was really helpful too. You know,
they were just doing it for the first time too. Yeah,
you know, but we expected them to know everything and
do everything perfectly and everything right, and you know what,
we're just human. She's just a woman.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
So funniest thing you had to apologize to your adult
children for that you can talk about. Goofy is family
rule that you'll look back on now and you go,
why did I.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
No double sleepovers? No double sleepovers? For example, if one
of my sons had a sleepover on a Friday night
and he wanted to sleep over on a Saturday night,
that would not fly because they would never sleep. They
didn't sleep, they just stayed awake, and so that meant
(18:35):
Sunday comes along, he's a grouch. He's a grump. He's
not going to do his homework, and it's going to
carry over into Monday morning when he has to go
to school. So I would say no to the double sleepovers.
And now I probably wouldn't care, be like fine, fine,
b ground sleepover, suffer the consequences of your Monday morning.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Yeah, why do they even call them sleepovers because there
is no they.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Were never sleeping. They were never sleeping.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
No, No, that's the time you stay up all night
eating popcorn, drinking soda prop and playing video games.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Well you know, but that like going back to this
idea of finding voice. There's a song that's out that
one of the songs that's out, Sound of a Woman
is out, and then the second single is called Michael Angelo.
The third one is Jury of One. But Michael Angelo. Well,
why did I title it that. It's because the sculptor
(19:32):
Michael Angelo had said this quote, and I had it
on my bulletin board, and someone had asked him, how
is it that you carved these gorgeous sculptures out of marble,
massive chunks of marble, And he said, I see the
angel in the marble, and I carve until I set
(19:54):
him free. And that, to me was a fantastic metaphor
for what it's like to be a woman, to come
into your own voice, to shed, to carve away, to
strip away all the things that are non essential, all
those identities that we've been given or we give ourselves
(20:18):
along the way of our lives journey to become what
you truly, truly are, what your essence is, so that
you become the angel that you knew. It's like almost
like he has a vision of what that angel is
going to look like, and he just keeps carving away.
And I think that's what we do as women. We
(20:38):
have this vision of the life we could have, the
person we can be, and how do we carve away
at that strip away all the things that don't work
until we get to being here with each other on
this podcast.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I think you have done a fabulous job. I don't
get to see you in your personal life. I get
to see you when you've got a new song out,
a new album out, a new movie.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah, change that we should.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
But what I see as somebody who is unapologetic, but
never in your face. You're just you, your beautiful, strong,
true to yourself, true to your work, your dreams, and
you're kind of like you can either applaud me or
(21:25):
you can try to step in my way and I.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Will have to run you over. And I'm kind of
sorry about that, but not really.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Well, that's interesting that you say that I'm kind of
sorry about that, but not really. The third song I
mentioned is Jury of One, and it's about this feeling
that women have feeling guilty. It's like, if you're a
working person, you feel guilty that you're not with your children.
If you're with your children, you feel guilty that there
(21:53):
isn't some space for you to be creative. Or maybe
you're neglecting somebody else, maybe your family member, maybe a
mother or father, maybe your work. You know. I always
say that guilt has a twin sister, and her name
is apology, because then there's always an apology that thought
follows I'm sorry for this, I'm sorry for that, and
(22:15):
we're apologizing. We're conditioned to apologize for things that we
really don't need to be apologizing for. Of course, that
we always have to apologize if we're wrong, and I'm
a huge believer in taking accountability for those things that
we do that our mistakes.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
But or on purposes.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Yes, exactly, but there's no reason to apologize. It's like
somebody bumps into you. Somebody bumped into me the other day,
like blatantly bumped into me, did not apologize, and I apologized.
I'm sorry, but they bumped into me.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I'm apologizing that I was here when you slaught exactly.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I'm apologizing for my existence in this spot, in this
very moment in time. And that's the sort of thing
I started thinking about, because it's always a tear, It's
always there, and I try to be more aware of that,
just to be able to be more present and more
(23:15):
honest in the communication. I don't have to say I'm
sorry for something that I'm not sorry about.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
I haven't gotten there yet, but maybe ellis in a
jury of one over and over and findance because I
were the same way.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I feel so guilty.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
I love my in laws so much, and they're actually
my outlaws because I divorced their son almost thirty years ago.
But I love them so much and I care for them.
But I had to relocate two years ago because of
other issues, and I feel so guilty that I'm not
(23:54):
there on a daily or a weekly when I so
want to be right, can't meet the needs of the
five littles that I am caring for. And yeah, you
know what I mean. And boy that mom Gil, I.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Am sure they are so incredibly grateful for when you
were there, and that doesn't go away. That does not
go away. They know that they know you love them.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
They do yeah, and they don't pressure me, They don't
try to make me feel bad. I just like you said,
we apologize for not being able to meet all the.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Needs exactly exactly. But that doesn't do any good for
anybody either. You know, wear's people down.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Talking heart to heart with Rita Wilson today, and we
have more to chat about. After I spend just a
minute or two with my amazing sponsors.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
It would be.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
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about how folks can come and see you and hear
(27:02):
all these beautiful new songs, cause you're going to go
on tour.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Yes, I'm going to be on tour in June. Now,
this is just the beginning of the tour, so it's
really just a little bit of the South and the
East Coast and a little bit of the Midwest. But
I'm coming back. So all tickets can be found on
my website Rita Wilson dot com. Come and see us.
I'm really excited to perform this album. And I'm also
(27:29):
doing for anybody who lives in New York. I'm doing
something called the ninety second Street Why. It's a lecture series,
but I'm talking about the album with Demi Moore, my
dear friend, and singing two songs. So in case you're
in New York and you want to see that on
April twenty.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Eighth, oh hold on, hold on writing this down April
twenty eighth, Where will you be?
Speaker 3 (27:51):
The ninety second Street Why, And it is a lecture
series or an interview series that Demi Moore and I
are doing together and she's talking to me about the
album Wonderful. These will be the first two live performances.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
That will be phenomenal talk about two phenomenal, powerful, beautiful,
been through at all women. If you could bottle the
energy you guys are going to have up there.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
She's an amazing woman, an incredibly inspiring, incredibly inspiring. What
she has accomplished and done in her life, the struggle
she's had, what she's gone through, and how she's come
out on the other side is pretty amazing. And another
incredible woman I want to talk about is Amy Wadge,
who I wrote most of the album with. We wrote
(28:48):
nine songs on the album together, and she's just an
incredible songwriter. And I always like to give credit where
credit is due.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Of course, and she has quite a backstory too.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Yeah, yeah, amazing she wrote She's written so many hit
songs and has Grammys. But she wrote Thinking out Loud
with Ed Sheeran, which who doesn't love that song? You know?
But that's the kind of soul she has.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
So people can go to your website get the tickets.
I know you're doing like a winery tour.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Oh yeah, it's all city wineries. So if you like wine,
come home down. Yeah. So I'll give you some of
the cities Atlanta, Nashville, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Boston, Saint Louis, Chicago,
New York City. I might be missing something in there.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Do you have an entourage?
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Do you have like your daughter or friends or somebody
you're gonna just like, do this?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Are you doing the bus thing?
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Are we gotta tell you? You know, it takes a village.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Right, it does.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
It does. It's so in dense, but yeah, I mean
it's fun. And we're looking right into right now. If
it's going to be a bus or if it's going
to be playing, I'm voting for bus. I love bus
because you're all together and it's so much fun.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
So that is the ultimate double up sleepover.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Oh that is totally real. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
I can't think of anything more fun than going on
a bus tour with you.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
That is so true. Oh my god. I love it
cozy to sleep in those bunks, you know, you have
these little curtains that close, and the rhythm. It's like
being on a train. It's really good.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Four of my girlfriends and I are taking my five
kids that i'm raising right now, along with one of
their grandkids, and we're doing a road trip this summer
to go rock hounding and climbing, taking the kids to look,
you know, climbing caves.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Oh wow, how fun.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I suspect there won't be a whole lot of sleeping
going on there either, so I.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Don't think so. Actually, there will be sleeping. Driving from
one place to another.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
They will be sleeping. But since we're the ones driving, Oh.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
Never mind, Yeah, you'll sleeping. You will be on capping.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
I'm taking a twenty five year old motor home and
my girlfriend Katie has like a twelve year old motor home,
and then three jeeps are going to be in the caravan.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Oh, you're caravanning. That's a blast.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
I love camping. I love it, of course you do.
Your office is a treehouse exactly. Rita Wilson, thank you
for spending this time with us. Sound of a woman,
can't wait to see it, can't wait to hear it,
can't wait to experience it. Going to figure out how
to get to the wine tour, the winery all city
(31:52):
wine tour so we can see you and give you
a big hug.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for having me,
and let's find a way to get together when we're not.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Just on zoom exactly. Well, thank you again.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Have a great rest of your day, and I will
see you somewhere on the dour perfect.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
Thank you, Delilah, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
All right, byebye, Hunt Bye. Sound of a Woman is
out now. It was co produced by Rita and nine
time Grammy winner Dave Cobb. Most of the project was
co written by Rita and Amy Wadge, who won a
Grammy for Ed Sheeran's eighteen times platinum. Thinking Out Loud
(32:35):
not simply a footnote, but as yet another sparkling faucet
to her beautiful wholeness.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Is Rita's dedication to her rich.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
And loving relationships as a friend, as a daughter and
a sister, as a partner in her forty year marriage,
as a stepmother and mother, and now as a grandmother,
all of which informs her latest offering. Rita says her
hope is that this album gives people insight into all
(33:04):
the many phases that women experience over the course of
their lives and empowers them to look more closely at
the women setting next to them, realizing there may be
a lot more going on with her internally than what
we see outwardly. Hopefully it will start conversations that help
(33:25):
us come away with a deeper understanding of how valuable
this inner journey is and how it truly connects us all.
Rita will be embarking on a run of the US
live dates at various city winery locations, kicking off in
Atlanta on June second. I hope you're in an area
(33:45):
that will allow you to attend one of her performances.
She is so talented, and she is a kindness not
to be missed. It'll be entertaining, it'll be healing, it'll
be empowering for you. Final kinds of information including music, tour, infomrchandise,
and even her artwork at Rita Wilson dot com. You
(34:07):
can also keep up to date with her on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook,
and on YouTube. It's May, my friends. May you make
and find peace. May you make and enjoy music and art.
May you seek birds, songs and sunsets and all that
soothes your soul.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
May you love someone