The Heartbreak Of Watching Your Children Leave

The Heartbreak Of Watching Your Children Leave

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I have to say I'm pretty jealous of your youngest,
piper Rob, just the idea of being in London eighteen
years old and no time.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
To come home.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Like you know, I'm just going to stay until it's over.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
So okay, let me just give you a quick synop
for synopsis for those that have not been playing along
for the last couple of weeks. So for the last
ten weeks, all three of my boys left on this
kind of massive adventure and they've been traveling through Unite
and Europe and getting into scrapes and having the time
of their lives. My eldest who's twenty three, Finn, has
decided that he wants to come home and finish his

(00:33):
UNI degree. My middle son, Lou who's twenty one, has
realized that he wants a bit more travel, but he
wants to start UNI next year. Okay, so we'll come
home probably for Christmas. And that's a new development since
the traveling, which is awesome. But my eighteen year old
has really had the biggest push away from me and

(00:54):
just like the biggest kind of evolution for himself. I
could feel it coming right and tonight's last night. I
get on a plane tomorrow, and I just stole a
couple of moments because his brothers are upstairs and they've
all gone out now, but they were all kind of
drinking on the rooftop bar and he was alone in
his bedroom. So I just went in and kind of

(01:17):
had a chat.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Okay, how do you feel about leaving? I feel good.
My best mate is coming the day you leave, and
you just travel and do what I was doing before
you even came. I'm going to miss you very much,
and hopefully you come over for Christmas. But do you
want me to come for Christmas? Of course, I'd love
for you guys to meet me for Christmas. But how
long do you reckon your stay away? I don't think

(01:38):
i'll come back for the foreseeable future. I don't like
that a year or two years or five years. It's
probably five years, really, I think. So, So what is
it you want to do? Find out what I want
to do. That's what I want to do. If it
takes shorter, then I'll do that. But I haven't figured
out what I want to do yet, So I'm going
to continue being an eighteen year old not knowing what

(01:59):
he wants to do.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
You care, I mean, I kind of feel like I'm
me getting all upset.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Is just a pain in the house. Really, you're my mother.
I supposed it upset, but your son's not coming home.
But I'm also super bad because it kind of means
I've done my job. You wanted me to go over,
but you're just upset that I'm not home. Oh, I'm
going to cry.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
I think it's the culmination of me kind of finally
seeing you spread your wings.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
Shut up, Mom, it's fair enough. I understand why you'll upset,
but we'll see what the world has for me. I
guess you'll be extraordinary, little man.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
I'm so proud of you. That's pretty Uh yeah, that's
I can't even imagine. It's be honest, because Raffi's four,
I can't imagine that moment when he's going off coming.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
But do you know what like at four, right, you're
just about to enter I think there's a couple of phases. Right,
you hold your child for the first time when they're born,
and you dream about what they're going to be like
as young people, and then you send them off to school,
and then you send them off to high school. And
I'm now at the back end of that and I
see so many mothers not letting go of their children.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah you have to, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
You have to, you have to, you have to. It's
the worst breakup ever, No relationship breakup has been ever
as painful as this. But it's also glorious because I've
done my job.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
You know, it's also funny about this breakup. It's so
one sided, you know what I mean, Like you're here
in tears, they're out at a pub. They're not even
thinking about.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
It, mate. And you know the other thing, like, bless him,
he gave me my moment, Like he really did give
me my moment. And then after I turned the recording off,
he gave me a really big hug. But you know,
then he moved on because it's not his moment. It's mine. Yeah,
it's mine. And I said, Tim, you know, I've spent
twenty four years you and your brother's life, just caring

(04:01):
about who you are and what happens to you. And
now you don't need me to do right. And I'm
so excited, but I also just devastated.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
I'm so reminded of I watched The Doctor the other
day of these they were cheaters, and the cheats grow up.
The cubs grow up with the mum and then eventually
the mum has to send them on their way, and
she does that in this doctor, you know, in Attainburgh's commentating,
and then you know, and then after two years together,
the young cheaters go off on their way, and you
think at some stages they would at least look back, don't.

(04:35):
I'm never going to see you again, and I don't care.
That's just gone, you know.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
And what I'm holding on to from all of this
as I get on that plane tomorrow and I wing
away and maybe I don't see him for five years,
isn't that what we all want?

Speaker 1 (04:51):
You know?

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Isn't our job to make functioning adults who are in
dependent and can live their greatest life. And if that
isn't what we want, that is what I am killing
myself