October 15, 2023 • 15 mins
Should You Stay In An Un-Happy Marriage For The Kids?
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Robin tearily kid on Brisbane's Kiss ninety seven three.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
So last week you may have heard on air or
you might have seen it on our socials. I broke
down when we were talking about.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Raffie unexpectedly too, like we were just talking about custody
stuff and yes, responsibility.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yes, here's the moment. By far the worst thing happened
on Sunday. He said, Dad, you know, Charlie's got a
mum and a dad and they're in the same house.
They live together. And I said, oh, that's cool, mate.
He said yeah, and sometimes they pick him up together.
And then he said, he said, I want that O cute.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
It's so real, it's so real.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Just let him understand it.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
But you didn't let him down. Life's let him down.
These happen mate, and you know what, all of the
great stuff that comes out of it. He gets to
spend such quality time and that kid is so loved.
Maddie of Slake's Creek, what would you like to say?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I just want to tell you, Kip that you're doing
the best thing to keep you and you're little boy happy.
So trust to me, you're doing such a great job.
Do not ever think that you're doing anything wrong. You
are not letting him down. I just really want you
to know that. And I sort of wish that I'd
had a father as good as you, Kip.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Trust me, she was so kind.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yeah, it's still I don't know how. I really struggle
to hear that, do you. Yeah, I get emotional again,
I go back there. I think it was one of.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
The most real moments. I did not anticipate when we
were going to talk about this, because I was like,
what's the best and worst thing? Because I'm like a
solo parent, so I don't ever have down I didn't
ever have downtown with them. I thought, you go, yeah,
this is great.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
This is not so great.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, but it's interesting because a lot of messages have
come through. We're not just trying to relive this to
make Kip feel pad. I think a lot of messages
have come through on our social media, and of course
the career mail picked it up. And I am forbidding
you ever to read the career male stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
No, they're different people, the people that comment on those stories,
they're not normal and everyone just for the sake yet, Yes,
I actually I made the mistake. I read one one
on the courier mail and it was a lady who
was very kindly saying, everyone saying those horrible things, back
back off. And I thought, oh, I'm not going to read.
Well what are they saying? And I don't want to
know because you.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Get super protective and defensive of me when people say stuff,
whereas I just get angry.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yes, and I'm like, this isn't cool.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
But there's some interesting comments coming through on our socials
at KIS ninety seven to three, and it has been
suggested if you want to read them?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Do you want to read I haven't read them yet,
but yes, I think I should. I think, oh yes,
I'll brace myself for it. I mean, at least they're
our listeners. So hopefully it's not whole ration.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
It's not as hard.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
But let's check traffic and we'll come back and have
a look. So we're just talking about the time I
broke down last week talking about Raffi and the fact
that his mum and I are separated.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, and if you want to comment at all at
any time, thirteen one oh six five.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, and look the comments that I saw on Instagram
and Facebook were overwhelmingly supportive, and thank you very much.
It actually meant a lot. There were some people that
were in similar or worse situations, a lot of a
lot of men and women. And and I actually got
one from a guy so mad I don't even have kids,
and that broke me.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Oh yeah, he has compassion, yes.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
But there is some negatives and which I haven't read yet.
But let's have a look and see see what they mean.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I have to do this, okay, but it don't make
me angry on your behalf okay. And I've got the
same copies, so if we can do.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
It, okay. Kicking off with Kimberly, Kimberly says, I will
stay in my toxic relationship because my kids want to
live with both of us. Oh okay, because the general
the general things were like, oh, well, you know, he's
better off being in two happy homes than one horrible one.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Which we've got that caller on saying that she wishes
her parents had separated quickly. Wow, Kimberly, Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
That's interesting, Chad. Chad says, try being a dad with
his children withheld. I have heard that something mothers would
never understand. What would you do in that situation? Seriously,
the fact is we have let them down when our
own petty expectations get in the way of family we have. Well,
I mean that is I have read more than one
(04:15):
of those, and I do have a close friend who
doesn't get to see his kids, and so I see
the torture that he's in.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
And I think this is the thing when it comes
to stuff we do on the radio, is that it
sparks people to have relive their own experiences. And so
this is where these comments come from.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
When this is gonna be fun, I've already seen the
first two words. When writes cringeworthy, I actually wrote gringeworthy bringeworthy.
I'm sorry sounds harsh dot dot, but I would be
focusing on the child at this point.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
And then he goes on to talk about some other
stuff that happened. But read the last line.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Maybe you could read a book on being an adult
piss off. When you read a book, we'll get out
of spell cringe. All right, Daniel says, all this bs
(05:10):
if you didn't let him down, toxic blah blah. Unless
one of you were violent to the other, you did
let him down. Oh wow, So that's the benchmark.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
I just I really struggle with the concept that you
start and in Andrew's room is literally holding her head
in her hands.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It's hard to hear these things, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
But I okay, let me be the rational one among stuff.
We don't know these people, and I really have compassion
for everyone else's expectations and experiences.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
I do.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
But by putting that and being nasty to you, you're
fighting the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, that's full that's full blown, sort of nineteen thirty's mentality,
isn't it? Like unless you're unless there's violence, the marriage
goes on.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And Stu says the same thing. Read the last one,
because maybe this is worth a separate conversation, honestly, because
there are people who think this.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
No student says, no, he let him down, his mother
let him down. He's trying to be accountable for Yes,
kids need their mum and their dad together.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I just I just don't. I just don't. I mean,
I sincerely, I just don't think that's right. I think
if people can recognize that they're no longer being in
a healthy relationship, then the children suffer from that. I
do believe that, and I'm not saying that just to
support you. And I'll take anyone on for your keep.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Will. I guess Steve's tapping into my fear, right, that's
what I do. Feel good, that's good. That's why I cried,
right because that's that's in my heart of hearts, that's
what I feel.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
But would you want to be with Amber now?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Oh no? And I'm so happy with Naomi and she's
been such a great step mum and all those things.
He's now got.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Three people that really love him.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes, not just do yes.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
And hopefully Amber will repartner and there'll be four. And
we did talk about you buying a kid cannival.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Cruising around together of miserable.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Adults and one very happy child. Anyway, thirteen one oh
six fives. If you genuinely think that people couple should
stay together regardless for the kids, I would love.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
To talk to you. Yep, it's going to be. I
can't imagine it's getting calls, but let's see.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Oh no, they're off.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Thirty one oh six five's out number. We are songs
now and were just talking about well when I broke
down last week because I felt guilty about having raf
my little boy into two homes now that his mum
and I have separated, and most of the comments like
ninety percent plus were like better for him to be
(07:46):
in two happy homes and one broken one. Yes, but
not all the comments. There were people saying you should
have just stayed together no matter what. You know, unless
there's actual physical violence, you stay together.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
And we just read some of those comments. I know
I'm talking too much, but I just want to save
you because I know this really hurts you, and I
just that's just yuck because these people are anonymous and
they're mean. But Paula of Cabulchia's House, what would you
like to.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
Say, Ki, Kudos to you for being in a happy relationship.
You're showing your child that it is important to be
happy in life, regardless of whether or not you are
together with the original mum or not. Secondly, what these people,
the negative people that are that are that are saying
all these nasty things, what they need to realize is
(08:33):
a toxic relationship. They are showing their kids that a
toxic relationship is okay to be in, and then they
may end up being in a toxic relationship. So it's
going to be a vicious cycle for these poor children
that are and these parents are showing them that it's okay.
You know, not to be happy.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Wow. Yeah, that is a very good point.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
You're very passionate Paul.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Teaching and toxic behaviors.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Okay, yeah, Emily of Thorn Lands, what would you like
to say?
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Hi, keV, I was just going to comment on my
own experience, and that was that My daughter said at
eight months old, cheated on me, and I stepped away,
and I chose that's the boundary for me and my
own self. The trust had gone. After that, I made
the decision to part ways, and that was the hardest
(09:20):
thing for me. She's now seven. We cope parents really brilliantly.
We're really good friends. He's so involved in her life.
But I made that decision for her because that is
if I didn't make that decision, what's that doing to
my own self worth? And what is that showing her
(09:41):
as a child that needs to grow up in a
family where I couldn't trust him again? And that's so
detrimental on what I think a family needs to be.
That was hard to me at mid twenties because my
parents were all together, so I've never been from a
split relationship. But you know what, I really think that
(10:03):
what happened in this world happened for a reason, and
that taught me so much strength. I've now got a
three year old son as well, so she's got a brother.
And his start to life, he went through so many
medical issues. He was born early, and I really needed
that strength at that time to get through that.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
So these things happened for an absolute reason and you're
the better for it.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
So who gets a ship?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
What may.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Emily's get some news? Plenty of calls going through thirteen
one O, six fives our number talking about staying together
in a relationship for the kids, even if the relationships
no good.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
People are saying that's what you should do.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Rosie out of Klanga's got a different perspective on it. Rosie, okay,
oh good, good, So what's your experience.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
My grandfather, he had my father and then so there
was three of them, and he remarried a lady. And
after he remarried her, it wasn't a very good relationship.
I don't really like the lady. It's not my life.
But he had another three kids to her. So my
auntie's actually a year younger than me, so she's thirty.
(11:13):
But he actually stuck around till they were eighteen because
he's an old soul and that's just how he was
taught back in the days. Like everyone else is saying,
once he decided they were all eighteen, he started, now
I'm leaving. He's had enough. He actually went off and
made himself a better life.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
He was very lucky.
Speaker 6 (11:31):
He actually sold his house, gave her the money for
the house and just said just leave me. Yeah, and
then he rebought himself a house at Glasshouse Mountains and
he's actually much more happier. We actually get to see
him as a grandfather.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
So what do you think, Rose, Did he make the
right decision by hanging in there for all those years
or should he have done that a long time ago?
Speaker 6 (11:54):
I don't know, to be honest, his daughter actually doesn't
after the split up, he doesn't talk to her and
she doesn't talk to him. He tried many times, and
she's more on the mother's side of everything.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So staying till they're eighteen didn't work anyway.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
No, he wanted to try his hardest, yeah, because he
didn't want another failed family, because of like my dad, Yeah,
I do.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I know that feeling thirteen one six five is our number.
If ever you want to get involved with the show.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Melanie of alex Hills. What do you want to say
about this?
Speaker 4 (12:27):
I think one of the secrets is if your marriage
is ending, you need to leave before you hate each other,
because you've still got something to work with them, if
you're being a co parent. My situation is a really
happy ending. My husband and I broke up about five
years ago. His name is Rob. I have a new
partner who's called ironically Rob Pleasure.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Don't get it wrong, I know right, quite a.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Safe voice on my behalf. However, my ex husband moved
into a house five hundred meters down the road. As
my boys run between the two house as constantly. Rob
and Robbie a really good mates. In fact, all of
us are excellent mates. And this whole Rugby World Cup,
they've been on the phone to each other at five o'clock,
everyone's backs and forwards.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
We are this.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Weird little joined village to the point where we attend
so many things together. I'm sure people in the community
think West Swingers such a cool outcome. And you know,
it's not always easy. There are some moments where I
grip my cheeth and I think, now that's why I left.
(13:33):
But we are so blessed and I have a stepdaughter
and amongst it as well, who's the same age as
my youngest son. And it's just such a positive Our
boys have never heard us say anything unkind about the
other parents. It's just, you know, my my ex husband
came and watched my stepdaughter compete in athletics ACCUSAT the
(13:54):
other day. It's just really not luce to be.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Example. You've done it right. Yeah, thanks Melodie, thank you.
I've got Sally out of lot. Which what's your situation, Sally?
What do you think?
Speaker 7 (14:09):
I kid, I think that you've done the right thing.
I was in a domestic relationship, but I stayed because
I had a mortgage and I wanted my children to
have one home. I was too scared to leave. I
didn't want him to be dragged everywhere. And at the end,
I've lost my daughter. My daughter is twenty five years old.
She's just had a first baby and won't have anything
(14:30):
to do with me because I was too weak being
in a relationship. So she has no respect for me
at all. Now I got rid of this man, but
a long time ago. I've got rid of him, but
she has it's heartbreaking. You have done the right thing.
That's right Sailey, I had a baby, granddaughter. I can't see.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
It's so so bad and there's nothing you can do.
Speaker 7 (14:58):
I try my harvest it is. I I sent presents,
I've said whatever I can do like I yeah, it's devastating.
I see you count for I see whatever it's like.
You know, people say grief like your b love the
child like and not do That's what I do daily.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Oh that's awful, mate, that's the other side of the coin,
right Yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 7 (15:21):
I've done the right thing.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Thank you, Sally. Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry to hear
your situation. Let's hope and pray that time will heal.
Speaker 7 (15:29):
Thank you, See you guys.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
And by the way, if you are in a situation
like Sally was, in DV connectors a number you can
call just to get advice one eight hundred and eight
double one, eight double one.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
It's Inarian Kids on Bristone's Kids ninety seventy three.
Robin tearily kid on Brisbane's Kiss ninety seven three.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
So last week you may have heard on air or
you might have seen it on our socials. I broke
down when we were talking about.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Raffie unexpectedly too, like we were just talking about custody
stuff and yes, responsibility.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yes, here's the moment. By far the worst thing happened
on Sunday. He said, Dad, you know, Charlie's got a
mum and a dad and they're in the same house.
They live together. And I said, oh, that's cool, mate.
He said yeah, and sometimes they pick him up together.
And then he said, he said, I want that O cute.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
It's so real, it's so real.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Just let him understand it.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
But you didn't let him down. Life's let him down.
These happen mate, and you know what, all of the
great stuff that comes out of it. He gets to
spend such quality time and that kid is so loved.
Maddie of Slake's Creek, what would you like to say?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I just want to tell you, Kip that you're doing
the best thing to keep you and you're little boy happy.
So trust to me, you're doing such a great job.
Do not ever think that you're doing anything wrong. You
are not letting him down. I just really want you
to know that. And I sort of wish that I'd
had a father as good as you, Kip.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Trust me, she was so kind.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yeah, it's still I don't know how. I really struggle
to hear that, do you. Yeah, I get emotional again,
I go back there. I think it was one of.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
The most real moments. I did not anticipate when we
were going to talk about this, because I was like,
what's the best and worst thing? Because I'm like a
solo parent, so I don't ever have down I didn't
ever have downtown with them. I thought, you go, yeah,
this is great.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
This is not so great.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, but it's interesting because a lot of messages have
come through. We're not just trying to relive this to
make Kip feel pad. I think a lot of messages
have come through on our social media, and of course
the career mail picked it up. And I am forbidding
you ever to read the career male stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
No, they're different people, the people that comment on those stories,
they're not normal and everyone just for the sake yet, Yes,
I actually I made the mistake. I read one one
on the courier mail and it was a lady who
was very kindly saying, everyone saying those horrible things, back
back off. And I thought, oh, I'm not going to read.
Well what are they saying? And I don't want to
know because you.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Get super protective and defensive of me when people say stuff,
whereas I just get angry.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yes, and I'm like, this isn't cool.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
But there's some interesting comments coming through on our socials
at KIS ninety seven to three, and it has been
suggested if you want to read them?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Do you want to read I haven't read them yet,
but yes, I think I should. I think, oh yes,
I'll brace myself for it. I mean, at least they're
our listeners. So hopefully it's not whole ration.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
It's not as hard.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
But let's check traffic and we'll come back and have
a look. So we're just talking about the time I
broke down last week talking about Raffi and the fact
that his mum and I are separated.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, and if you want to comment at all at
any time, thirteen one oh six five.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, and look the comments that I saw on Instagram
and Facebook were overwhelmingly supportive, and thank you very much.
It actually meant a lot. There were some people that
were in similar or worse situations, a lot of a
lot of men and women. And and I actually got
one from a guy so mad I don't even have kids,
and that broke me.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Oh yeah, he has compassion, yes.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
But there is some negatives and which I haven't read yet.
But let's have a look and see see what they mean.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
I have to do this, okay, but it don't make
me angry on your behalf okay. And I've got the
same copies, so if we can do.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
It, okay. Kicking off with Kimberly, Kimberly says, I will
stay in my toxic relationship because my kids want to
live with both of us. Oh okay, because the general
the general things were like, oh, well, you know, he's
better off being in two happy homes than one horrible one.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Which we've got that caller on saying that she wishes
her parents had separated quickly. Wow, Kimberly, Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
That's interesting, Chad. Chad says, try being a dad with
his children withheld. I have heard that something mothers would
never understand. What would you do in that situation? Seriously,
the fact is we have let them down when our
own petty expectations get in the way of family we have. Well,
I mean that is I have read more than one
(04:15):
of those, and I do have a close friend who
doesn't get to see his kids, and so I see
the torture that he's in.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
And I think this is the thing when it comes
to stuff we do on the radio, is that it
sparks people to have relive their own experiences. And so
this is where these comments come from.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
When this is gonna be fun, I've already seen the
first two words. When writes cringeworthy, I actually wrote gringeworthy bringeworthy.
I'm sorry sounds harsh dot dot, but I would be
focusing on the child at this point.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
And then he goes on to talk about some other
stuff that happened. But read the last line.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Maybe you could read a book on being an adult
piss off. When you read a book, we'll get out
of spell cringe. All right, Daniel says, all this bs
(05:10):
if you didn't let him down, toxic blah blah. Unless
one of you were violent to the other, you did
let him down. Oh wow, So that's the benchmark.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
I just I really struggle with the concept that you
start and in Andrew's room is literally holding her head
in her hands.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It's hard to hear these things, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
But I okay, let me be the rational one among stuff.
We don't know these people, and I really have compassion
for everyone else's expectations and experiences.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
I do.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
But by putting that and being nasty to you, you're
fighting the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, that's full that's full blown, sort of nineteen thirty's mentality,
isn't it? Like unless you're unless there's violence, the marriage
goes on.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And Stu says the same thing. Read the last one,
because maybe this is worth a separate conversation, honestly, because
there are people who think this.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
No student says, no, he let him down, his mother
let him down. He's trying to be accountable for Yes,
kids need their mum and their dad together.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I just I just don't. I just don't. I mean,
I sincerely, I just don't think that's right. I think
if people can recognize that they're no longer being in
a healthy relationship, then the children suffer from that. I
do believe that, and I'm not saying that just to
support you. And I'll take anyone on for your keep.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Will. I guess Steve's tapping into my fear, right, that's
what I do. Feel good, that's good. That's why I cried,
right because that's that's in my heart of hearts, that's
what I feel.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
But would you want to be with Amber now?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Oh no? And I'm so happy with Naomi and she's
been such a great step mum and all those things.
He's now got.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Three people that really love him.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes, not just do yes.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
And hopefully Amber will repartner and there'll be four. And
we did talk about you buying a kid cannival.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Cruising around together of miserable.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Adults and one very happy child. Anyway, thirteen one oh
six fives. If you genuinely think that people couple should
stay together regardless for the kids, I would love.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
To talk to you. Yep, it's going to be. I
can't imagine it's getting calls, but let's see.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Oh no, they're off.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Thirty one oh six five's out number. We are songs
now and were just talking about well when I broke
down last week because I felt guilty about having raf
my little boy into two homes now that his mum
and I have separated, and most of the comments like
ninety percent plus were like better for him to be
(07:46):
in two happy homes and one broken one. Yes, but
not all the comments. There were people saying you should
have just stayed together no matter what. You know, unless
there's actual physical violence, you stay together.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
And we just read some of those comments. I know
I'm talking too much, but I just want to save
you because I know this really hurts you, and I
just that's just yuck because these people are anonymous and
they're mean. But Paula of Cabulchia's House, what would you
like to.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
Say, Ki, Kudos to you for being in a happy relationship.
You're showing your child that it is important to be
happy in life, regardless of whether or not you are
together with the original mum or not. Secondly, what these people,
the negative people that are that are that are saying
all these nasty things, what they need to realize is
(08:33):
a toxic relationship. They are showing their kids that a
toxic relationship is okay to be in, and then they
may end up being in a toxic relationship. So it's
going to be a vicious cycle for these poor children
that are and these parents are showing them that it's okay.
You know, not to be happy.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Wow. Yeah, that is a very good point.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
You're very passionate Paul.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Teaching and toxic behaviors.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Okay, yeah, Emily of Thorn Lands, what would you like
to say?
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Hi, keV, I was just going to comment on my
own experience, and that was that My daughter said at
eight months old, cheated on me, and I stepped away,
and I chose that's the boundary for me and my
own self. The trust had gone. After that, I made
the decision to part ways, and that was the hardest
(09:20):
thing for me. She's now seven. We cope parents really brilliantly.
We're really good friends. He's so involved in her life.
But I made that decision for her because that is
if I didn't make that decision, what's that doing to
my own self worth? And what is that showing her
(09:41):
as a child that needs to grow up in a
family where I couldn't trust him again? And that's so
detrimental on what I think a family needs to be.
That was hard to me at mid twenties because my
parents were all together, so I've never been from a
split relationship. But you know what, I really think that
(10:03):
what happened in this world happened for a reason, and
that taught me so much strength. I've now got a
three year old son as well, so she's got a brother.
And his start to life, he went through so many
medical issues. He was born early, and I really needed
that strength at that time to get through that.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
So these things happened for an absolute reason and you're
the better for it.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
So who gets a ship?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
What may.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Emily's get some news? Plenty of calls going through thirteen
one O, six fives our number talking about staying together
in a relationship for the kids, even if the relationships
no good.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
People are saying that's what you should do.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Rosie out of Klanga's got a different perspective on it. Rosie, okay,
oh good, good, So what's your experience.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
My grandfather, he had my father and then so there
was three of them, and he remarried a lady. And
after he remarried her, it wasn't a very good relationship.
I don't really like the lady. It's not my life.
But he had another three kids to her. So my
auntie's actually a year younger than me, so she's thirty.
(11:13):
But he actually stuck around till they were eighteen because
he's an old soul and that's just how he was
taught back in the days. Like everyone else is saying,
once he decided they were all eighteen, he started, now
I'm leaving. He's had enough. He actually went off and
made himself a better life.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
He was very lucky.
Speaker 6 (11:31):
He actually sold his house, gave her the money for
the house and just said just leave me. Yeah, and
then he rebought himself a house at Glasshouse Mountains and
he's actually much more happier. We actually get to see
him as a grandfather.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
So what do you think, Rose, Did he make the
right decision by hanging in there for all those years
or should he have done that a long time ago?
Speaker 6 (11:54):
I don't know, to be honest, his daughter actually doesn't
after the split up, he doesn't talk to her and
she doesn't talk to him. He tried many times, and
she's more on the mother's side of everything.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So staying till they're eighteen didn't work anyway.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
No, he wanted to try his hardest, yeah, because he
didn't want another failed family, because of like my dad, Yeah,
I do.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I know that feeling thirteen one six five is our number.
If ever you want to get involved with the show.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Melanie of alex Hills. What do you want to say
about this?
Speaker 4 (12:27):
I think one of the secrets is if your marriage
is ending, you need to leave before you hate each other,
because you've still got something to work with them, if
you're being a co parent. My situation is a really
happy ending. My husband and I broke up about five
years ago. His name is Rob. I have a new
partner who's called ironically Rob Pleasure.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Don't get it wrong, I know right, quite a.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Safe voice on my behalf. However, my ex husband moved
into a house five hundred meters down the road. As
my boys run between the two house as constantly. Rob
and Robbie a really good mates. In fact, all of
us are excellent mates. And this whole Rugby World Cup,
they've been on the phone to each other at five o'clock,
everyone's backs and forwards.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
We are this.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Weird little joined village to the point where we attend
so many things together. I'm sure people in the community
think West Swingers such a cool outcome. And you know,
it's not always easy. There are some moments where I
grip my cheeth and I think, now that's why I left.
(13:33):
But we are so blessed and I have a stepdaughter
and amongst it as well, who's the same age as
my youngest son. And it's just such a positive Our
boys have never heard us say anything unkind about the
other parents. It's just, you know, my my ex husband
came and watched my stepdaughter compete in athletics ACCUSAT the
(13:54):
other day. It's just really not luce to be.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Example. You've done it right. Yeah, thanks Melodie, thank you.
I've got Sally out of lot. Which what's your situation, Sally?
What do you think?
Speaker 7 (14:09):
I kid, I think that you've done the right thing.
I was in a domestic relationship, but I stayed because
I had a mortgage and I wanted my children to
have one home. I was too scared to leave. I
didn't want him to be dragged everywhere. And at the end,
I've lost my daughter. My daughter is twenty five years old.
She's just had a first baby and won't have anything
(14:30):
to do with me because I was too weak being
in a relationship. So she has no respect for me
at all. Now I got rid of this man, but
a long time ago. I've got rid of him, but
she has it's heartbreaking. You have done the right thing.
That's right Sailey, I had a baby, granddaughter. I can't see.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
It's so so bad and there's nothing you can do.
Speaker 7 (14:58):
I try my harvest it is. I I sent presents,
I've said whatever I can do like I yeah, it's devastating.
I see you count for I see whatever it's like.
You know, people say grief like your b love the
child like and not do That's what I do daily.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Oh that's awful, mate, that's the other side of the coin,
right Yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 7 (15:21):
I've done the right thing.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Thank you, Sally. Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry to hear
your situation. Let's hope and pray that time will heal.
Speaker 7 (15:29):
Thank you, See you guys.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
And by the way, if you are in a situation
like Sally was, in DV connectors a number you can
call just to get advice one eight hundred and eight
double one, eight double one.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
It's Inarian Kids on Bristone's Kids ninety seventy three.
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