Church Complaints

This is the Olympic Era Edition.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now, ladies and gentlemen, for church complaints.
With Reverend Motown and Deacon deaf Jam.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
On this Monday, we we.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Foll gavel.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
In this glory for con over days where we amplify,
m magnify, and triplify all our ELFs. Today we give
honor to people who complain. Yeah, who registerily, come up

(00:39):
with glutamine, who come up with what happened in glutamine
and gluten free.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Dispacious deal with church the place. Come on, d all
right past, let's get down to it.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
Uh, Brother Noah Liar I wants to join our church. Uh.
He called, and Sister Dars told him he can't come
in here jumping up and down, screaming and hollering and
at the end fall out and wind up being a
terrible member. He wants to talk to you, He's wanting
to get by Sister Doris and talk directly to you.

(01:28):
But she told him, you can't come in here jumping
up and screaming and holland like you did before the
two hundred and then. Yeah, you're not gonna do that
here at the JP. You're not gonna Well, we don't low.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Or brother nor lows to come to the church and
talk to me. But we is gonna have to address
or your interests or yeah, you know you can't make
that bigger intro and take third.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
He had COVID after the race. We just showed up
at the race.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
He had COVID after that boy from Botswana caught five.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Yes he did, all right, Pastor, we are doing a
gold drive, a gold drive. We're melting down gold to
make Jordan Childs a new medal since they took hers away.
Please talk to brother Clifford Riggins. He brought ten pounds
of fake gold and we didn't know what til we
started melting and everything. Tarren Green, You're gonna have to

(02:36):
have conversation with him.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Well, I don't know what to say about that.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
We was very upset with sister jordan Or being taken
hug or bronze medal from hug So we're gonna deal
with that, Orc Codingly or every d Well, there will
be a full blown march about this here. If you

(03:06):
keep on keeping on with this here, that's all almost.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
All right.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Uh, this brings our sad news. The praise team tried
to do a synchronized praise dance in the baptismic pool.
Two of them drown. It's a shame. Path I'm sorry
we lost two of them. They went down and tried
to stick their legs up and do a routine, and

(03:34):
two of them didn't come back up.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
It's a shame, But we're gonna praise. You know.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
I don't know what to do, but you're gonna have
to talk to them. If you can't swim, don't try
this well.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I personally have tried to get rid of the praise
team for a number of years.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
Now, my gosh, because I done told you these praise
teams of these church, all these heavyweight people during these
little two and a half inch jumps.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
In these in the choir robes.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
And now you just sit up here and watch all
these white girls do this sinkingized swimmer and jump the
fatass in that baptom pool and turn upside down. And
to see what happened was to read the way the
deaths occurred was they was all in there and they
turned upside down. But they weighed so much it wasn't
no where.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
To turned in the pool.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
They couldn't get their legs back down, so they was
upside down. Three people jumped in to try to help
them win them a room in the pool so we
couldn't flip nobody over, didn't get him back out.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
I call him artistics. Yeah, artistic swimming. Yeah. Two of
them gone got gon. Yeah, we even lost too.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
It takes a whole new meaning to the song take
Me to the water, dig Me to the don't nobody
want to saying that? No more?

Speaker 1 (05:03):
All right? Pastor we got a situation, oh one last thing.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Or we are now con sitting changing our baptism to
white folks style where we just throw the water on
your foreheads.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Not a same live that will save something?

Speaker 2 (05:20):
All right?

Speaker 3 (05:21):
Big issue here, Sister murder green nor Today she called
the swat team to come out to her house. When
they got out there, she said, it's four flies in
the kitchen and two roaches in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
Swat them and let me know when y'all are.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
They didn't charge her fifteen hundred dollars for calling that.
They say they are a swat team. They are not
out here for no insects. Barely said it. Fifteen hundred
dollars pass. Yeah, I don't, She said, get the swatting,
and they did not understand why they would She would
call them out there to swat no flies and some.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Roaches, and I just.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Well, we don't leave her in there for a while,
and let this be a teaching moment. SWAT stands for
special weapons and tactics.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Oh okay, okay, oh if you hood. SWAT team stands
for special weed at the trap. Just on where you

(06:36):
at last, but not leave past it. Brother Gerard.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Brother Gerard had a bad case of the hiccups while
having sex with his seapop on with the call girl
he paid five hundred dollars two.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
I had sleep app Noel at one point, and I'm
gonna telling you right now, if you get the hiccups
with that cup on, it sucks on your.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Face and you can't get it off. If we gotta go.
He got a problem the engineer day. You know exactly
what I'm talking about.

Speaker 4 (07:06):
As the CLO Chief Love Officer Steve Harvey, and you're
listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show