June 4, 2026 • 39 mins
Throughout high school, Brandon was a misfit. Then one day, out of the blue, one of the school’s prettiest, most popular girls asked him to prom. Fifteen years later, Brandon wants to know: why him?
Four years after the release of his episode, we check back in with Brandon to learn what's changed and get an update on his underwear situation.
You can sign up for our free newsletter at patreon.com/heavyweight
This episode was produced by Stevie Lane and Mohini Madgavkar. The senior producer is Kalila Holt. Special thanks to Emily Condon, Alex Blumberg, Sharon Mashihi, Mimi O’Donnell, Jessica Yung, and Jackie Cohen. The show was mixed by Bobby Lord. Music by Christine Fellows, John K Samson, Michael Hearst, the Jacobi Family Band, Podington Bear, and Bobby Lord. Our theme song is by The Weakerthans courtesy of Epitaph Records. Mixing on this update by Sarah Bruguiere, with production by Lisa Wang.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Pushkin. Hello, Hello, welcome to the studio.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Are you going to tell people who I am? Before that?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Even I was going to apologize for the smell of
egg salad. I don't know why it smells like egg
salad in here. It's not like I was eating an
egg salad sandwich or anything.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
But what's those little pieces of yolk that are stuck
all over your beard?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
That's total circumstantial evidence. You can't hang someone for circumstantial evidence.
I did see Malcolm Gladwell exiting the studio strutting around
with an egg salad sandwich pocon add of his fanny
pack like he owned the joint. So there's some circumstantial evidence.
You might want to investigate, you intrepid reporter. You so hello,
(01:08):
Stevie Lane, producer, Yes, of.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
The of the episode that we're about to listen to Brandon. Yeah, Brandon,
I will say, And he doesn't even know this. He's
not even gonna know this till he listens to this. Yeah,
one of my all time favorite guests. I think, really, yeah,
I don't know. He just had such a nice attitude,
and I feel like I feel like the two of
you had a really lovely rapport.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, and it was like an example of how sometimes
a small question can have like a lot of emotional
impact and can just really echo through the years. And
you know, with these updates, a lot of times I
start off by saying that the subject of the episode
has gone through a lot of changes. But in the
case with Brandon, I will say that change seems like
(02:00):
too slight a word. I would say that Brandon has
gone through some transformations.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
So here's Brandon.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yeah, it's a fun one.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
It is a fun one. And after the episode, if
you stick around, I'm going to catch up with Brandon
and we're gonna see who Brandon has become since we
last spoke, Jackie, I have some good news. Well, it
seems like there's some interest in turning the Heavyweight podcast
(02:31):
into a TV show. So I was just calling to
see who maybe you know who you want to play, Jackie.
I was thinking, you know, maybe Rita Marino, Don John
No one's gonna watch your show.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Baby, what did you just say? You heard this?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Wait, I'm confused on two counts. A that you would
say something so cruel and that b you would punctuate
it with babe. You know a lot of people believe
in this project. Why would you laugh at that?
Speaker 5 (03:09):
A lot of people believe in this project.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
From Gimblet Media. I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight.
Today's episode Brandon right after the break.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, we'll just roll in there and see what's going on.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
This is Brandon. He's thirty three years old in wearing
a suit and string tie. His wife, Megan is in
a sun dress, and together they're about to enter the
New Palestine High School prom. Megan is the school's our teacher,
(04:14):
but tonight she's chaperoning with Brandon as her date. She
introduces him to the other teachers. At a certain point,
they're interrupted by the announcement of prompt King and Queens.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
A students.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
While Megan congratulates her students and makes small talk with
her colleagues, Brandon wanders off and observes the kids. Some
are dancing, some are lined up for the photo booth.
There are kids talking to teachers and others gossiping among themselves.
But then Brandon's gaze lands on another subset, those aimless
kids wandering along the margins alone. They remind Brandon of
(05:04):
himself when he was a teenager and his own prom
Brandon thinks about his prom a lot and the improbable
path that led him to it, which began when he
was just a little kid.
Speaker 7 (05:18):
Through middle school and junior high I had a lot
of bullying problems.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
That was kind of an easy target.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
There were a number of things that made him run.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
First, I'm like still a big guy now, but I was.
I was at my biggest in high school, heaviest.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Second, Brandon tried too hard to fit in, Like the
time he shaved a Nike swoosh into the back of
his head.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I just thought, like sports, that's that's cool.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
So it made your head look like a running shoe exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
I sat in front of this kid named Cyril, and
he said it looked like a hockey stick, and that
was enough that everyone was like, that's a hockey stick,
that is not a Nike swoosh.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Finally, Brandon was a Coda, a child of deaf adults.
His family attended a deaf church and spends a lot
of time in the deaf community. He says he was
brought up with different social.
Speaker 7 (06:11):
Norms like volume, like volume is not a concern around
deaf people and in a deaf environment, and then of
course it is around hearing people, So.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
What does that mean?
Speaker 7 (06:24):
Like any examples, Yeah, like school, where it's like time
to be quiet. I was just constantly talking to myself
or just vocalizing my thoughts, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Then in middle school, Brandon's parents divorced. There was less
space for him, less attention paid to him. He drew inward.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
I think I wanted to put off a harder like
you can't hurt me exterior than I really had on
the inside. So wearing hot topic clothes, spiky things, black clothes,
and trying to just like keep your hoodie on and
get through the day.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
And for the most part, Randon succeeded in going unnoticed
until the spring of his senior year. Brandon was sitting
at the back of a classroom during a free period,
eavesdropping on a conversation from across the room. Some classmates
were talking about a prom, and among the group was
a girl named Ali. She was going on about what
(07:25):
a great night it was going to be, how excited
she was.
Speaker 7 (07:28):
She had like long blonde hair with highlights, big features,
like big eyes, She had a big smile.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Hmm.
Speaker 7 (07:35):
Yeah, Like when she smiled, she looked really happy, hmm.
And I think she kind of pulled me into the
conversation by directing some of those questions at me, like
are you going to prom?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Who are you going to prom with?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Brandon had no intention of going. He hadn't a girlfriend
nor any prospects for a date, and he was confused
about why Ali was talking to him. Brandon says they'd
barely ever spoken. They were from totally different social worlds.
Ali was in student government. She was popular and beautiful.
Speaker 7 (08:06):
She was just really well put together, clean and you hmm, No,
that's not a word I've used to describe myself in
high school. I mean like I would like smell my
clothes before I before I put them on in the morning,
you know, like I.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Got dressed from the floor, okay, in my bedroom?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
No, I mean yeah. And yet Ali kept throwing questions
at him. Why wasn't he going? If he did go,
who would he take? Brandon answered in monosyllables, hoping she
turned back to her friends and leave him alone, but
instead she rose from her seat and began striding towards him.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Inside, I was like, uh, like inflamed, do you know
what an?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I mean?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Like my heart my heart rate was rising.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
With each question, Ali moved closer and closer until she
was sitting at the desk in front of him, facing him.
Then she did something that still flummixes Brandon fifteen years later.
Speaker 7 (09:02):
She just kind of outright said, take me to prom, Like,
go to prom, take me, Let's go together. I immediately
had questions, questions like, why, why me?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
What's going on?
Speaker 7 (09:18):
I guess I was skeptical, this is some kind of trick. Hmm,
you know, why would you be asking me this other
than to setting me up for a punchline or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
But no punchline really came, so I just agreed.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
On the big night, Brandon met up with Ali and
her friends for a pre dance dinner at her friend
Jen's house. He was in the fancier part of town.
Brandon showed up wearing his rented suit with a corsage
and a bright blue necktie that matched Ali's stress. Before
leaving to the dance, everyone lined up for a group picture.
Did you like just feel like saying, why the heck
(09:55):
am I here right? What happened? Was this a mistake?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (10:00):
Yeah, I would have loved an answer to that question,
but I would never have thought, couldn't fathom saying it.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
You know, do you still have that prom photo that
you guys took?
Speaker 8 (10:11):
No?
Speaker 7 (10:11):
To be honest, I'm not even sure I ever got it,
So I don't think I ever even saw that picture.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
What do you think you would see in that photo?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I mean, just imagining it makes me laugh?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, why.
Speaker 7 (10:28):
It would be a line of like beautiful high schoolers,
you know, and like me. There just feels like if
your eyes set on me for a little too long,
that maybe you'd be able to see that it didn't
fit in.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Ali and her friends looked like the girls in those
movies about prom, and those girls always had guys who
gave them the time of their lives. For Brandon, a
sense of duty kicked in.
Speaker 7 (10:52):
It felt like a huge responsibility. It was like, this
is going to be a big deal in Ali's life forever,
and I have a big responsibility as her date to
make sure that I live up to this position.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I was really really nervous.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Did you guys did you nally slow dance? I pretty
feel like I feel like when I asked these questions,
I feel like Hannibal Lecter, Yeah, like I'm asking these
questions from a straight jacket in a cell. Did you
slow dance? Did you slow dance?
Speaker 7 (11:25):
I do remember slow dancing because I remember thinking, like,
it's funny that in TV shows and in movies this
is such a big deal. But it's just standing like
you're kind of just like stepping slightly. Yeah, Like that's
not hard. Like I was in like a hip hop
dance crew and youth group. You know that was hard.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Wait, you were in a sorry repeat that you were
in a hip hop dance youth group.
Speaker 7 (11:48):
What Yeah, So the church I went to was just
like through a lot of performances and.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Hip hop dance that happened.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Did you ever at any point break out any of
your Christian youth group hip hop move on the dance floor?
Do you do anything like on the floor like where
you spin on your back or you didn't You didn't
want to ruin the rental, wanted to get your deposit
At the prom, Brandon popped for the Lord and locked
(12:21):
for the Lord. He made Ali's friends laugh, And it
was right there on the dance floor, the place one
might expect a high school boy to feel the most
self conscious that Brandon felt most the ease he was
a part of the group of a group that.
Speaker 7 (12:36):
Kind of felt like a resolution of what all of
grade school was like for me. You know, I never
felt safe enough to bring my true self into that space.
But like, dancing around at prom with your peers is
like one of the most vulnerable things you can do,
and it came out on the other end of it, Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
At the end of the prom, Ali and all her
friends headed to one of their classmates houses for the
after party, but having never been to a house party,
Brandon decided not to go. Do you remember saying goodbye
to Ali?
Speaker 9 (13:11):
No?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
And then what happened after that? Do you recall speaking
with her singer in school after that night.
Speaker 7 (13:18):
I had to have because we both went back to school,
But I don't have any specific memories of talking to
her again.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Prom is supposed to stay with you for the rest
of your life, and for Brandon it has, but eclipsing
the dancing, the music, the last night out with his
peers is a lingering question.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Which was like, whind me out of all the people
that you could be going with.
Speaker 7 (13:43):
Maybe it was one of those situations where all of
these people out there are thinking, well, Ali's taken, She's
totally going to problem with somebody already, I'll have to
ask somebody else, you know, and then leaves her without
a prom date. If that was what was going on,
maybe maybe she just had a breakup. Maybe I was
part of a charity case.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
So you want to ask her why why did she
pick you?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah, exactly, I want to know that. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (14:12):
Without her, I wouldn't have gone to problem. It would
have just been another thing on my list of things
I regret from high school, you know, But it's not
on that list. It's on the shorter list of things
that I feel. Okay, Yeah, I'd like to think her.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm just nervous, which is why Brandon has reached out
to me. If you get nervous, I mean, I can
always jump in.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I've just assumed I'm going to be coming along to
chaperone after the break I chaperonn Brandon back to high school.
(15:09):
Before Brandon can ask Ali the question that's been on
his mind since senior year, we first need to track
her down. Her last name is Schmotz, Schmutz. I'm just
making that up. Brandon's part of a Facebook group for
his high school graduating class, and Ali's a member of
the group as well. Does that mean that you can
have a better chance of messaging or through that group?
Speaker 7 (15:33):
I mean, like, if I were going to use the group,
it would be making a post for my whole graduating classes.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Might as well go big, like say, hey, I'm just
going to put this out there to everybody.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, if you're not Ali, please don't read this.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
But Ali, I just want to say, hey, hit me up.
Here are my digits. Everybody else, just lose this number.
Maybe Facebook friend her.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I could do that.
Speaker 7 (15:58):
Yeah, I'd have to change my name on Facebook. My
name hasn't been my real name for a long time.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What's what's the name that you operate under? Oak Tree?
Just oak Tree, just oak Tree. I can't even find
you as brand. I'd have to look up oak Tree.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
That's right. I was kind of playing with what kinds
of words it lets me have as a name.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Can you change your name from oak Tree to Brandon?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Probably a good idea.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Then you don't have to start with a whole rigmarole
about how like my name's not really oak Tree. This
is Brandon, by the way, you remember from high school.
And so the mighty oak Tree sheds his leaves and
his name and the mighty Brandon sends Ali a friend request.
A week later, Brandon texts with an update. Ali has
(16:50):
accepted his friendship. Now he just needs to send her
a message. Okay, so you've crafted something already.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Yeah you could you read it? Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Hi Ali? Good so far casual?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Okay? Cool? Go ahead?
Speaker 7 (17:09):
Yeah, Hi Ali, maybe you'll remember me we were prompt dating.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
As Brandon reads me a draft, I focus my Keen
podcast producer's ear.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
By my recollection. It was your idea for us to
go to prom together.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Now let me pause, sorry, let me hit pause there. Yeah,
like the way that you're underlining your idea, you're not
actually underlining that though I did italicize it. It was
your idea for us to go to prom together. Is
that what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah? It sounds accusatory out loud.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Yeah, so me, Yeah, maybe we'll do italicize that part. Okay,
keep going.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Brandon tells Ali that he still thinks about their prom.
He says he wants to talk to her about it.
Would you be up for that? Okay? Okay, let's take
a look at this here. Okay, so maybe you'll remember.
As Brandon and I pour over the message, a worry
suddenly pops into my head. I wonder if there's a
way to work in the fact that you're married, you know.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
How about just I'm married? But I'll just start with it. Hey, listen,
I'm taking.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Speaking as a married man. Me and my wife were wondering.
That is my wife and I. We were wondering the
other night after making love.
Speaker 7 (18:20):
Yeah's need to be doing good work, and I hope
you're well.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
All the best.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Once we've crafted the perfect message, Brandon readies himself to
hits end.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Should I go ahead and do it?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Yeah, let's do it. Go ahead, HiT's end.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Enter, it's sent.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Congratulations, thank you. A week later, Allie writes back, she's
willing to talk, So that's good.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
It's a positive response.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I look at you. You're you're you're giddy, You're giddy
with expectation.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yeah. Can you tell us to keep wiping my face
and touching my eyes?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Would it be fun to do it on a video call? Sure?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Do you still have the suit that you wore to
your prom I'll be like I never took it off.
Any things that you want me to bring up, just
kind of like conversationally, awards or any upcoming projects, that
you want to promote or.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
No, keep it organic whatever cool cool.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I can keep it organic cool.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Hello, Hello, I'm getting a little bit of static on
your end.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Yeah. Hello better.
Speaker 9 (19:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
On the day of the video call with Ali, Brandon
and I get on early and wait.
Speaker 7 (20:05):
It feels like I'm getting back into the psyche of
my high school self. Like I'm hey, hi, Allie, Hi,
how are you good?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Allie smiles a big smile full of big white teeth.
She's wearing a blue patterned blouse that matches the blue
of her nails.
Speaker 7 (20:24):
I'll just tell you what I've seen on your profile.
You live in Carmel, and you have a baby.
Speaker 6 (20:28):
I have two daughters, a three year old and a
two year old.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Awesome, they're right here.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
On my wall.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Brandon and Alley catch up.
Speaker 9 (20:35):
The Midwest is just such a nice place to raise
a feat. It's recruiting, but there's like a sales element.
And then of course the grandparents are here.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah. I figured that was part of it. Just a family.
It's a huge reason they're.
Speaker 6 (20:46):
Always willing to.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Brandon's question hasn't gotten any easier to ask since high school.
In fact, it's gotten harder. After a pause, of a
few minutes or even a few days, one can feign casualness.
By the way, why do you choose me? But to
ask after fifteen years, there's no way to buy the
way your way through it. But eventually, so.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Can I ask you some questions?
Speaker 6 (21:14):
Absolutely?
Speaker 7 (21:16):
I guess first, like, what are your memories of me
in high school?
Speaker 6 (21:20):
Yeah? So I was trying to think of this. Did
we ever have any classes together?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Probably not?
Speaker 6 (21:27):
Yeah, so we met senior year, right.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Allie doesn't remember much, but one thing she does remember
is that day in the back of the classroom.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
We were talking about prom, you know, as seniors do,
and I think you had you were like not into
going to prom?
Speaker 6 (21:42):
Right, You're like, no, I'm not going to go.
Speaker 7 (21:44):
Yeah, I remember like you had to really spell it out.
You were like are you going to prom?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
You're not?
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Okay? Like if you were, would you be going with someone?
Speaker 6 (21:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Okay?
Speaker 7 (21:54):
And then eventually you were like you and me can
go to prom? Like why don't we go to prom?
Speaker 8 (22:00):
You know?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
And then Brandon asks this question sort of.
Speaker 7 (22:07):
Like at any point did you consider having having someone
else as a date?
Speaker 6 (22:13):
Well, I would have been totally comfortable going by myself,
so I don't have any memories of thinking like I'm
gonna ask Brandon and then if that doesn't work, I'm
gonna ask so and so they're just kinda like I'm
asked Brandon.
Speaker 7 (22:27):
That is surprising, I guess because I thought like that
it was like spur of the moment, like your friends
were hearing this for the first time too.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
No. No, I was very obsessed with my friends, so
I'm sure that I ran it by them. So you
passed the friends test.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Brandon grows quiet. It wasn't a prank. It wasn't pity.
Ali planned to ask him. What's more, she wasn't going
to take no for an answer.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
I do remember, like you did say no. I remember
you saying no, and I'm like, oh, yeah, but give
him a day. I'm gonna make him go. He's gonna
go with me. But yeah, you were just surprised by
the fact that I asked you.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I mean, yeah, definitely. Hmm.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Alie pauses trying to find the right words.
Speaker 9 (23:20):
You made me laugh a lot, and I remember that
you were just, you know, fun to be around and goofy,
and you smiled at me a lot. I remember that,
you know, like I liked being around you, and if.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
I made a joke, you would laugh at it.
Speaker 9 (23:35):
You know.
Speaker 7 (23:35):
It made me feel like I was funny, which is
a great quality.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
You got me a corsage.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
I remember that.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
I remember not expecting you to get me a porsage.
I'm thinking that was really nice. I do remember that.
Isn't that silly? But like, I don't remember a lot,
but I remember that.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
So you know, I'm going to be a little blunt
here because uh, sure was there anything else to it?
Speaker 9 (24:05):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
What was there an element of something romantic?
Speaker 6 (24:09):
So we probably flirted, right, But I don't know.
Speaker 9 (24:14):
I mean, friendship is really just the main feeling that
I can recall.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
I'm not saying that there wasn't you know. I mean,
I don't know. You're a teenager, You're feeling all kinds
of things. I'm sure there were moments where I was like, oh,
is this a thing?
Speaker 8 (24:33):
You know?
Speaker 6 (24:33):
Is this turning into this.
Speaker 7 (24:36):
That I think that I would have found that really
hard to believe as a kid, you know, that would
have gone against the narrative of school and what people
thought of me that I had.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
I don't know. I guess to some extent I knew
that we were.
Speaker 9 (24:55):
I want to be honest, I knew that there was
some people were surprised by the fact that we were
going together, right. I do remember one time when I
told some dude in my physics class, I can't remember
that is going with and they're like, wait, what And
I was like yeah, and they're like that's weird, and
I'm like, you're weird.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Well. Brandon remembers himself as a misfit. Ali remembers someone
who is different than a lot of the other guys.
In high school. Brandon made rye jokes, he was sweet
and self deprecating. She remembers things that Brandon doesn't. She
says there was one time Brandon did a whole monologue
about how he found it hard to drive because of
his fear of hitting birds. In other words, Ali asked
(25:39):
him to prom for the one reason Brandon never considered.
She just wanted to go with him.
Speaker 7 (25:44):
Did you have a good time, eproum, Because I really
wanted that for you. I spent a lot of time
thinking like, that's my role on the date?
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Here I go.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
You know, yeah, Ali grows thoughtful.
Speaker 9 (25:58):
I guess I didn't even think that, because I mean
I talked you into it, right, So then here you
are kind of not stuck, but like, yeah, feeling like
you wanted to make it special for me because I
was the one that was all about it. Yeah, I
guess I never even thought about that. I just think, Brandon,
you're just so much more thoughtful, you know, just thoughtful
(26:22):
about the whole experience. And I do want to thank
you because that's so nice that you were thinking it
was your duty to try to make sure I had
the problem I wanted to have.
Speaker 7 (26:32):
Yeah, I honestly didn't even expect to be thanked from
you for anything. I feel like I have to thank
you because there's something really simple and superficial about this.
But it felt really real that I finished high school
as a person who went to prom. I got to go,
I got to have a fun time and forget the
(26:55):
misfit feelings I was having.
Speaker 8 (26:57):
That's awesome. That's so awesome to hear you say that.
That's really nice.
Speaker 7 (27:12):
My life started to really just like blossom and grow.
I guess from like the moment high school was over.
And I guess, I guess I can't say for certain
what that part of my life would have looked like
had I not had the prom experience, but I can't
say it was totally irrelevant.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Was it out of that and kind of like into
that period that you ended up meeting your wife Megan.
Speaker 7 (27:36):
Yeah, it was like that phase of life when Megan
I met her.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Dress is so cute. She looks beautiful. This is Megan
Brandon's wife looking at a photo of Valley from prom night.
She looks amazing, she looks great. After getting off the
video call, Ali sent the group photo from prom, Megan
studies it while seated beside Brandon.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
It's also like, so cute to see you flanked by
these Like I mean, I'm sorry, they're in high school,
so I don't real feel like I should be calling
them hot babes. But you know what I mean, Like
from the high school perspective, you lucky looking man.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
But as Brandon looks at the photo, I imagine it
isn't his day to the other kids that he's focused
on so much as he's focused on the big guy
in the middle and all the baggage that guy was carrying.
Speaker 7 (28:21):
There's a lot of weird stuff about like my weight
and growing up, like dieting, and like my mom like
putting me out of scale, and it was like, you're
over this line. You know you're unattractive, and.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
What does it make you to feel like Megan to
hear that, it makes.
Speaker 6 (28:40):
Me feel very protective for sure.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
I think if we don't, we really really get into squabbles.
But if ever we do, what really disarms me is
like thinking about that like little like young Brandon. I
feel like that it happened not even that long ago.
Do you remember we were like standing at the kitchen
and I started crying, and I was just like I
had been so resentful and mad at you for a minute,
(29:05):
and then I just like was imagining you being like
a little kid and having other like adults in his
life not really tend to like the difficulties of that
as well as they should have. I think about him
just having to like navigate those insecurities alone.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
But Brandon no longer has to navigate them alone. A
few weeks ago, before chaperoning the prom with Megan, Brandon
went to the tailor. He wanted to wear his wedding
suit and needed her to let it out.
Speaker 7 (29:34):
She was like down on her knees, like looking at it,
pulling the pants in different ways, and then said, okay,
go ahead and open the pants up so I can
see how much we can let out. And I don't
know why, but I wasn't wearing underwear. I didn't wear
underwear to the tailor. I guess I didn't think that
she was going to Brandon be asking that. So yeah,
(30:00):
she asked me to open the pants and I was
like right now, and she's like, yep, go ahead, and
I just said, I can't do that right now. If
you know what I mean. Wow, I know, I know,
and I don't think. I'm honestly not sure if she
(30:22):
knew what I meant. But she dropped it and said, Okay,
I think we'll just light it out all the way
and that'll probably be enough.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
It was awful. It was awful.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Brandon was spiraling, So as soon as he left, he
sent Megan a text at school asking her to call him.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
And when she called me, I was fixing a flat.
I got a flat tire on the way home. It
was just like a shitty afternoon. So I was fixing
a flat and telling her what it was like at
the tailor, and then we hung up, and then she
texted me later and just said.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Like I love you and I love the way your
body looks, and I don't think it's weird that you
didn't wear underwear. I don't wear underwear either.
Speaker 7 (31:06):
It was just like a you know what I mean?
She was supportive. That fixed it almost immediately for me.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
Hmm, well, I taught him to go commando, so I
feel partially responsible.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
What did you make of Brandon's question that he's had
through the years, Why did Ali invite him to the
prom in the first place?
Speaker 5 (31:36):
It didn't have to be a mystery. It makes perfect
sense to me that somebody who looks like Ali could
like the person who she's standing next to.
Speaker 9 (31:47):
You.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Brandon says the biggest difference between his two proms was
that with Megan, he didn't spend the whole night wondering
why the person by his side had chosen him. He's
just happy she did.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
I was comfortable the whole time.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
How could you not be comfortable? I mean, you weren't
wearing underpants, He held it.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
Now that the fern Atures returned into its goodwill home,
now that the last month's rant is scheming with the
damage to possibly take this.
Speaker 10 (33:06):
Moment to decide, Brandon, Hey, Hello, Hi, I can't believe
(33:29):
it's been.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Over four years.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Last time I spoke to you, you were speaking to
me from what did you call it? Your man cave, your.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
I didn't remember telling you. But it's called the chill zone,
the chill zone.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
That's right, it's right there. Wait, so you're not in
the chill zone. No, I'm in the office, okay, Because
the chill zone is for chilling. It's not for recording.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Well, it's changing its purpose now. It's for the bedtime
routine with the new baby.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Well, you really buried the lead on that one.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
So you have a baby, Yeah, we have a baby.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Yeah, it's so exciting. She's growing and learning so fast.
She's noticing things.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Does she like pulling on your mustache?
Speaker 7 (34:14):
She hasn't found my mustache in that way yet. But
she's really into containers, just putting containers in containers, taking
something out of a container, putting in a different one.
And she can do that for like an hour, and
I can just sit there and watch her and try
not to help if she's trying to put something too
big and too small container, you know, just watching her.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, it's so exciting, wonderful. That's so nice to hear. Well,
that's that's the headline. Are there have there been any
other changes since we last spoke?
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Hm? I actually listened to the Brandon episode of Heavyweight
yesterday just to have it be fresh in my mind.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Yeah, And what was that like?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Uh? It's fun.
Speaker 7 (34:57):
I feel like when I was first hearing it, I
cringe and I cringed a lot less yesterday.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Well, why do you think that is time? I think?
I mean I feel a lot different than I did
four years ago.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
How in what ways?
Speaker 7 (35:11):
About a year before Robin was born, Meg and I
started going to this meeting. It's like we'd get together
with these people and do something called chigong. It's just
like breathing and moving. It's kind of like tai chi,
but kind of exercisey. And then there's a meditation portion.
And there's this concept called no pretending that we would
(35:31):
be like, are we pretending with ourselves in our minds?
Do we pretend when we talk to other people? And
I realized that I do pretend to other people. Thinking
about how I want to come across and drawing awareness
to that helped me to do it less.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Were there certain things that you feel like were that
you were pretending at.
Speaker 7 (35:51):
I'm trying to think of a good way to explain
that or oh, you know, one day I realized I
was like, if I'm walking up to the door of
a gas station, we're going into the gas station, and
there's a stranger walking in at the same time, and
it seems like we might arrive at more or less
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I was fast to jump out of the way. You
know first, do you first? And I don't do that
sort of thing as much.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
You feel less apologetic for just being around existing, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (36:20):
Yeah, less about finding a place where I can fit
to disturb other people as little as possible, and more
now feeling like I am of I'm actually here, I'm
a I'm not just smoke, you know. I exist here
and I'm moving around and I can do and say
what I want and other people will react, however, they
will react, and that doesn't mean I should have said
(36:40):
or done something different.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
So I feel more.
Speaker 7 (36:45):
Confident, more, I guess, just in tune with what I
actually think and what I'm actually feeling. And I feel
like a much different person than I did four years ago,
in a good way.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Do you think the Brandon of today would have pursued
that story? I?
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Yeah, I do. Think so. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Yeah, there's the branden of today where underwear.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
I've got a couple pairs for special occasions.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Is this a special occasion?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
No, it isn't.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Okay, No, you have a twenty year high school reunion
coming up.
Speaker 7 (37:26):
This is the year for my twentieth reunion. Yeah, if
it's happening, are you going to go? I would love
to go.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Have you been in touch with Ali?
Speaker 8 (37:34):
No?
Speaker 7 (37:34):
I have not, but I wondered if I might see
her at this reunion. And you know, I wanted to
say before we go. When I was listening to the
episode yesterday, I felt grateful. It brought me kind of
an outside perspective on that period of my life, which
I wouldn't have had without that or you know, and
I don't think I would have reached out to Ali
on my own. And it was a good lesson to
(37:55):
learn that despite what I was going through as a teenager,
that I was still me. That's the big takeaway I
had from listening to it. You know, when she said
you were sweet, and you smiled at me and you
laughed at my jokes, that's a good quality. That's some
of the things I remember her saying from when I listened,
but I don't know how that hit me at the time.
(38:15):
I can't remember, but listening to it now, I thought
that sounds like me. The real me was still there,
I was, it was still coming out. Yeah, So thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Well, thank you, thank you for saying that and for
lending yourself to it so wholeheartedly. Will you say hi
to Meg for me? I will Brandon, it was really
nice to see you.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Have a good day you too, you too, enjoy your baby,
I will.
Speaker 10 (38:44):
I will.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Thanks to everyone who originally put this episode together. We'll
be back with another update in two weeks time. And
if you want, you can sign up for our free newsletter.
It's absolutely free and it's available at patreon dot com
slash Heavyweight Stevie. Yeah, what do we have in store
(39:19):
in the newsletter?
Speaker 3 (39:20):
We got some recommendations, things that we've liked, and there's hyperlinks.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Yes, parenthetically, I don't know that I've been hyperlinking properly
in the newsletter, like you can actually like hyperlink from
a word, right, Yeah, that I put the full r L.
I'm old school, that's right. It's only recently that I've
started pronouncing at URL. I used to just pronounce it
as earle. Do you know what RL stands for? Ooh,
(39:48):
you really love our newsletter? URL our newsletter.
Speaker 6 (39:53):
I'm speaking of The URL for the newsletter is.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
It's at patreon dot com. Slash Heavyweight
Pushkin. Hello, Hello, welcome to the studio.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Are you going to tell people who I am? Before that?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Even I was going to apologize for the smell of
egg salad. I don't know why it smells like egg
salad in here. It's not like I was eating an
egg salad sandwich or anything.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
But what's those little pieces of yolk that are stuck
all over your beard?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
That's total circumstantial evidence. You can't hang someone for circumstantial evidence.
I did see Malcolm Gladwell exiting the studio strutting around
with an egg salad sandwich pocon add of his fanny
pack like he owned the joint. So there's some circumstantial evidence.
You might want to investigate, you intrepid reporter. You so hello,
(01:08):
Stevie Lane, producer, Yes, of.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
The of the episode that we're about to listen to Brandon. Yeah, Brandon,
I will say, And he doesn't even know this. He's
not even gonna know this till he listens to this. Yeah,
one of my all time favorite guests. I think, really, yeah,
I don't know. He just had such a nice attitude,
and I feel like I feel like the two of
you had a really lovely rapport.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, and it was like an example of how sometimes
a small question can have like a lot of emotional
impact and can just really echo through the years. And
you know, with these updates, a lot of times I
start off by saying that the subject of the episode
has gone through a lot of changes. But in the
case with Brandon, I will say that change seems like
(02:00):
too slight a word. I would say that Brandon has
gone through some transformations.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
So here's Brandon.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yeah, it's a fun one.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
It is a fun one. And after the episode, if
you stick around, I'm going to catch up with Brandon
and we're gonna see who Brandon has become since we
last spoke, Jackie, I have some good news. Well, it
seems like there's some interest in turning the Heavyweight podcast
(02:31):
into a TV show. So I was just calling to
see who maybe you know who you want to play, Jackie.
I was thinking, you know, maybe Rita Marino, Don John
No one's gonna watch your show.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Baby, what did you just say? You heard this?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Wait, I'm confused on two counts. A that you would
say something so cruel and that b you would punctuate
it with babe. You know a lot of people believe
in this project. Why would you laugh at that?
Speaker 5 (03:09):
A lot of people believe in this project.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
From Gimblet Media. I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight.
Today's episode Brandon right after the break.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, we'll just roll in there and see what's going on.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
This is Brandon. He's thirty three years old in wearing
a suit and string tie. His wife, Megan is in
a sun dress, and together they're about to enter the
New Palestine High School prom. Megan is the school's our teacher,
(04:14):
but tonight she's chaperoning with Brandon as her date. She
introduces him to the other teachers. At a certain point,
they're interrupted by the announcement of prompt King and Queens.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
A students.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
While Megan congratulates her students and makes small talk with
her colleagues, Brandon wanders off and observes the kids. Some
are dancing, some are lined up for the photo booth.
There are kids talking to teachers and others gossiping among themselves.
But then Brandon's gaze lands on another subset, those aimless
kids wandering along the margins alone. They remind Brandon of
(05:04):
himself when he was a teenager and his own prom
Brandon thinks about his prom a lot and the improbable
path that led him to it, which began when he
was just a little kid.
Speaker 7 (05:18):
Through middle school and junior high I had a lot
of bullying problems.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
That was kind of an easy target.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
There were a number of things that made him run.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
First, I'm like still a big guy now, but I was.
I was at my biggest in high school, heaviest.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Second, Brandon tried too hard to fit in, Like the
time he shaved a Nike swoosh into the back of
his head.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I just thought, like sports, that's that's cool.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
So it made your head look like a running shoe exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
I sat in front of this kid named Cyril, and
he said it looked like a hockey stick, and that
was enough that everyone was like, that's a hockey stick,
that is not a Nike swoosh.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Finally, Brandon was a Coda, a child of deaf adults.
His family attended a deaf church and spends a lot
of time in the deaf community. He says he was
brought up with different social.
Speaker 7 (06:11):
Norms like volume, like volume is not a concern around
deaf people and in a deaf environment, and then of
course it is around hearing people, So.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
What does that mean?
Speaker 7 (06:24):
Like any examples, Yeah, like school, where it's like time
to be quiet. I was just constantly talking to myself
or just vocalizing my thoughts, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Then in middle school, Brandon's parents divorced. There was less
space for him, less attention paid to him. He drew inward.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
I think I wanted to put off a harder like
you can't hurt me exterior than I really had on
the inside. So wearing hot topic clothes, spiky things, black clothes,
and trying to just like keep your hoodie on and
get through the day.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
And for the most part, Randon succeeded in going unnoticed
until the spring of his senior year. Brandon was sitting
at the back of a classroom during a free period,
eavesdropping on a conversation from across the room. Some classmates
were talking about a prom, and among the group was
a girl named Ali. She was going on about what
(07:25):
a great night it was going to be, how excited
she was.
Speaker 7 (07:28):
She had like long blonde hair with highlights, big features,
like big eyes, She had a big smile.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Hmm.
Speaker 7 (07:35):
Yeah, Like when she smiled, she looked really happy, hmm.
And I think she kind of pulled me into the
conversation by directing some of those questions at me, like
are you going to prom?
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Who are you going to prom with?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Brandon had no intention of going. He hadn't a girlfriend
nor any prospects for a date, and he was confused
about why Ali was talking to him. Brandon says they'd
barely ever spoken. They were from totally different social worlds.
Ali was in student government. She was popular and beautiful.
Speaker 7 (08:06):
She was just really well put together, clean and you hmm, No,
that's not a word I've used to describe myself in
high school. I mean like I would like smell my
clothes before I before I put them on in the morning,
you know, like I.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Got dressed from the floor, okay, in my bedroom?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
No, I mean yeah. And yet Ali kept throwing questions
at him. Why wasn't he going? If he did go,
who would he take? Brandon answered in monosyllables, hoping she
turned back to her friends and leave him alone, but
instead she rose from her seat and began striding towards him.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Inside, I was like, uh, like inflamed, do you know
what an?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I mean?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Like my heart my heart rate was rising.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
With each question, Ali moved closer and closer until she
was sitting at the desk in front of him, facing him.
Then she did something that still flummixes Brandon fifteen years later.
Speaker 7 (09:02):
She just kind of outright said, take me to prom, Like,
go to prom, take me, Let's go together. I immediately
had questions, questions like, why, why me?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
What's going on?
Speaker 7 (09:18):
I guess I was skeptical, this is some kind of trick. Hmm,
you know, why would you be asking me this other
than to setting me up for a punchline or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
But no punchline really came, so I just agreed.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
On the big night, Brandon met up with Ali and
her friends for a pre dance dinner at her friend
Jen's house. He was in the fancier part of town.
Brandon showed up wearing his rented suit with a corsage
and a bright blue necktie that matched Ali's stress. Before
leaving to the dance, everyone lined up for a group picture.
Did you like just feel like saying, why the heck
(09:55):
am I here right? What happened? Was this a mistake?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (10:00):
Yeah, I would have loved an answer to that question,
but I would never have thought, couldn't fathom saying it.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
You know, do you still have that prom photo that
you guys took?
Speaker 8 (10:11):
No?
Speaker 7 (10:11):
To be honest, I'm not even sure I ever got it,
So I don't think I ever even saw that picture.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
What do you think you would see in that photo?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I mean, just imagining it makes me laugh?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, why.
Speaker 7 (10:28):
It would be a line of like beautiful high schoolers,
you know, and like me. There just feels like if
your eyes set on me for a little too long,
that maybe you'd be able to see that it didn't
fit in.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Ali and her friends looked like the girls in those
movies about prom, and those girls always had guys who
gave them the time of their lives. For Brandon, a
sense of duty kicked in.
Speaker 7 (10:52):
It felt like a huge responsibility. It was like, this
is going to be a big deal in Ali's life forever,
and I have a big responsibility as her date to
make sure that I live up to this position.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I was really really nervous.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Did you guys did you nally slow dance? I pretty
feel like I feel like when I asked these questions,
I feel like Hannibal Lecter, Yeah, like I'm asking these
questions from a straight jacket in a cell. Did you
slow dance? Did you slow dance?
Speaker 7 (11:25):
I do remember slow dancing because I remember thinking, like,
it's funny that in TV shows and in movies this
is such a big deal. But it's just standing like
you're kind of just like stepping slightly. Yeah, Like that's
not hard. Like I was in like a hip hop
dance crew and youth group. You know that was hard.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Wait, you were in a sorry repeat that you were
in a hip hop dance youth group.
Speaker 7 (11:48):
What Yeah, So the church I went to was just
like through a lot of performances and.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Hip hop dance that happened.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Did you ever at any point break out any of
your Christian youth group hip hop move on the dance floor?
Do you do anything like on the floor like where
you spin on your back or you didn't You didn't
want to ruin the rental, wanted to get your deposit
At the prom, Brandon popped for the Lord and locked
(12:21):
for the Lord. He made Ali's friends laugh, And it
was right there on the dance floor, the place one
might expect a high school boy to feel the most
self conscious that Brandon felt most the ease he was
a part of the group of a group that.
Speaker 7 (12:36):
Kind of felt like a resolution of what all of
grade school was like for me. You know, I never
felt safe enough to bring my true self into that space.
But like, dancing around at prom with your peers is
like one of the most vulnerable things you can do,
and it came out on the other end of it, Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
At the end of the prom, Ali and all her
friends headed to one of their classmates houses for the
after party, but having never been to a house party,
Brandon decided not to go. Do you remember saying goodbye
to Ali?
Speaker 9 (13:11):
No?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
And then what happened after that? Do you recall speaking
with her singer in school after that night.
Speaker 7 (13:18):
I had to have because we both went back to school,
But I don't have any specific memories of talking to
her again.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Prom is supposed to stay with you for the rest
of your life, and for Brandon it has, but eclipsing
the dancing, the music, the last night out with his
peers is a lingering question.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Which was like, whind me out of all the people
that you could be going with.
Speaker 7 (13:43):
Maybe it was one of those situations where all of
these people out there are thinking, well, Ali's taken, She's
totally going to problem with somebody already, I'll have to
ask somebody else, you know, and then leaves her without
a prom date. If that was what was going on,
maybe maybe she just had a breakup. Maybe I was
part of a charity case.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
So you want to ask her why why did she
pick you?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah, exactly, I want to know that. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (14:12):
Without her, I wouldn't have gone to problem. It would
have just been another thing on my list of things
I regret from high school, you know, But it's not
on that list. It's on the shorter list of things
that I feel. Okay, Yeah, I'd like to think her.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm just nervous, which is why Brandon has reached out
to me. If you get nervous, I mean, I can
always jump in.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I've just assumed I'm going to be coming along to
chaperone after the break I chaperonn Brandon back to high school.
(15:09):
Before Brandon can ask Ali the question that's been on
his mind since senior year, we first need to track
her down. Her last name is Schmotz, Schmutz. I'm just
making that up. Brandon's part of a Facebook group for
his high school graduating class, and Ali's a member of
the group as well. Does that mean that you can
have a better chance of messaging or through that group?
Speaker 7 (15:33):
I mean, like, if I were going to use the group,
it would be making a post for my whole graduating classes.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Might as well go big, like say, hey, I'm just
going to put this out there to everybody.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, if you're not Ali, please don't read this.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
But Ali, I just want to say, hey, hit me up.
Here are my digits. Everybody else, just lose this number.
Maybe Facebook friend her.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I could do that.
Speaker 7 (15:58):
Yeah, I'd have to change my name on Facebook. My
name hasn't been my real name for a long time.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What's what's the name that you operate under? Oak Tree?
Just oak Tree, just oak Tree. I can't even find
you as brand. I'd have to look up oak Tree.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
That's right. I was kind of playing with what kinds
of words it lets me have as a name.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Can you change your name from oak Tree to Brandon?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Probably a good idea.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Then you don't have to start with a whole rigmarole
about how like my name's not really oak Tree. This
is Brandon, by the way, you remember from high school.
And so the mighty oak Tree sheds his leaves and
his name and the mighty Brandon sends Ali a friend request.
A week later, Brandon texts with an update. Ali has
(16:50):
accepted his friendship. Now he just needs to send her
a message. Okay, so you've crafted something already.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Yeah you could you read it? Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Hi Ali? Good so far casual?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Okay? Cool? Go ahead?
Speaker 7 (17:09):
Yeah, Hi Ali, maybe you'll remember me we were prompt dating.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
As Brandon reads me a draft, I focus my Keen
podcast producer's ear.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
By my recollection. It was your idea for us to
go to prom together.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Now let me pause, sorry, let me hit pause there. Yeah,
like the way that you're underlining your idea, you're not
actually underlining that though I did italicize it. It was
your idea for us to go to prom together. Is
that what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah? It sounds accusatory out loud.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Yeah, so me, Yeah, maybe we'll do italicize that part. Okay,
keep going.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Brandon tells Ali that he still thinks about their prom.
He says he wants to talk to her about it.
Would you be up for that? Okay? Okay, let's take
a look at this here. Okay, so maybe you'll remember.
As Brandon and I pour over the message, a worry
suddenly pops into my head. I wonder if there's a
way to work in the fact that you're married, you know.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
How about just I'm married? But I'll just start with it. Hey, listen,
I'm taking.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Speaking as a married man. Me and my wife were wondering.
That is my wife and I. We were wondering the
other night after making love.
Speaker 7 (18:20):
Yeah's need to be doing good work, and I hope
you're well.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
All the best.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Once we've crafted the perfect message, Brandon readies himself to
hits end.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Should I go ahead and do it?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Yeah, let's do it. Go ahead, HiT's end.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Enter, it's sent.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Congratulations, thank you. A week later, Allie writes back, she's
willing to talk, So that's good.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
It's a positive response.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I look at you. You're you're you're giddy, You're giddy
with expectation.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yeah. Can you tell us to keep wiping my face
and touching my eyes?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Would it be fun to do it on a video call? Sure?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Do you still have the suit that you wore to
your prom I'll be like I never took it off.
Any things that you want me to bring up, just
kind of like conversationally, awards or any upcoming projects, that
you want to promote or.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
No, keep it organic whatever cool cool.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I can keep it organic cool.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Hello, Hello, I'm getting a little bit of static on
your end.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Yeah. Hello better.
Speaker 9 (19:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
On the day of the video call with Ali, Brandon
and I get on early and wait.
Speaker 7 (20:05):
It feels like I'm getting back into the psyche of
my high school self. Like I'm hey, hi, Allie, Hi,
how are you good?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Allie smiles a big smile full of big white teeth.
She's wearing a blue patterned blouse that matches the blue
of her nails.
Speaker 7 (20:24):
I'll just tell you what I've seen on your profile.
You live in Carmel, and you have a baby.
Speaker 6 (20:28):
I have two daughters, a three year old and a
two year old.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Awesome, they're right here.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
On my wall.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Brandon and Alley catch up.
Speaker 9 (20:35):
The Midwest is just such a nice place to raise
a feat. It's recruiting, but there's like a sales element.
And then of course the grandparents are here.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah. I figured that was part of it. Just a family.
It's a huge reason they're.
Speaker 6 (20:46):
Always willing to.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Brandon's question hasn't gotten any easier to ask since high school.
In fact, it's gotten harder. After a pause, of a
few minutes or even a few days, one can feign casualness.
By the way, why do you choose me? But to
ask after fifteen years, there's no way to buy the
way your way through it. But eventually, so.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Can I ask you some questions?
Speaker 6 (21:14):
Absolutely?
Speaker 7 (21:16):
I guess first, like, what are your memories of me
in high school?
Speaker 6 (21:20):
Yeah? So I was trying to think of this. Did
we ever have any classes together?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Probably not?
Speaker 6 (21:27):
Yeah, so we met senior year, right.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Allie doesn't remember much, but one thing she does remember
is that day in the back of the classroom.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
We were talking about prom, you know, as seniors do,
and I think you had you were like not into
going to prom?
Speaker 6 (21:42):
Right, You're like, no, I'm not going to go.
Speaker 7 (21:44):
Yeah, I remember like you had to really spell it out.
You were like are you going to prom?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
You're not?
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Okay? Like if you were, would you be going with someone?
Speaker 6 (21:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Okay?
Speaker 7 (21:54):
And then eventually you were like you and me can
go to prom? Like why don't we go to prom?
Speaker 8 (22:00):
You know?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
And then Brandon asks this question sort of.
Speaker 7 (22:07):
Like at any point did you consider having having someone
else as a date?
Speaker 6 (22:13):
Well, I would have been totally comfortable going by myself,
so I don't have any memories of thinking like I'm
gonna ask Brandon and then if that doesn't work, I'm
gonna ask so and so they're just kinda like I'm
asked Brandon.
Speaker 7 (22:27):
That is surprising, I guess because I thought like that
it was like spur of the moment, like your friends
were hearing this for the first time too.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
No. No, I was very obsessed with my friends, so
I'm sure that I ran it by them. So you
passed the friends test.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Brandon grows quiet. It wasn't a prank. It wasn't pity.
Ali planned to ask him. What's more, she wasn't going
to take no for an answer.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
I do remember, like you did say no. I remember
you saying no, and I'm like, oh, yeah, but give
him a day. I'm gonna make him go. He's gonna
go with me. But yeah, you were just surprised by
the fact that I asked you.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I mean, yeah, definitely. Hmm.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Alie pauses trying to find the right words.
Speaker 9 (23:20):
You made me laugh a lot, and I remember that
you were just, you know, fun to be around and goofy,
and you smiled at me a lot. I remember that,
you know, like I liked being around you, and if.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
I made a joke, you would laugh at it.
Speaker 9 (23:35):
You know.
Speaker 7 (23:35):
It made me feel like I was funny, which is
a great quality.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
You got me a corsage.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
I remember that.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
I remember not expecting you to get me a porsage.
I'm thinking that was really nice. I do remember that.
Isn't that silly? But like, I don't remember a lot,
but I remember that.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
So you know, I'm going to be a little blunt
here because uh, sure was there anything else to it?
Speaker 9 (24:05):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
What was there an element of something romantic?
Speaker 6 (24:09):
So we probably flirted, right, But I don't know.
Speaker 9 (24:14):
I mean, friendship is really just the main feeling that
I can recall.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
I'm not saying that there wasn't you know. I mean,
I don't know. You're a teenager, You're feeling all kinds
of things. I'm sure there were moments where I was like, oh,
is this a thing?
Speaker 8 (24:33):
You know?
Speaker 6 (24:33):
Is this turning into this.
Speaker 7 (24:36):
That I think that I would have found that really
hard to believe as a kid, you know, that would
have gone against the narrative of school and what people
thought of me that I had.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
I don't know. I guess to some extent I knew
that we were.
Speaker 9 (24:55):
I want to be honest, I knew that there was
some people were surprised by the fact that we were
going together, right. I do remember one time when I
told some dude in my physics class, I can't remember
that is going with and they're like, wait, what And
I was like yeah, and they're like that's weird, and
I'm like, you're weird.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Well. Brandon remembers himself as a misfit. Ali remembers someone
who is different than a lot of the other guys.
In high school. Brandon made rye jokes, he was sweet
and self deprecating. She remembers things that Brandon doesn't. She
says there was one time Brandon did a whole monologue
about how he found it hard to drive because of
his fear of hitting birds. In other words, Ali asked
(25:39):
him to prom for the one reason Brandon never considered.
She just wanted to go with him.
Speaker 7 (25:44):
Did you have a good time, eproum, Because I really
wanted that for you. I spent a lot of time
thinking like, that's my role on the date?
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Here I go.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
You know, yeah, Ali grows thoughtful.
Speaker 9 (25:58):
I guess I didn't even think that, because I mean
I talked you into it, right, So then here you
are kind of not stuck, but like, yeah, feeling like
you wanted to make it special for me because I
was the one that was all about it. Yeah, I
guess I never even thought about that. I just think, Brandon,
you're just so much more thoughtful, you know, just thoughtful
(26:22):
about the whole experience. And I do want to thank
you because that's so nice that you were thinking it
was your duty to try to make sure I had
the problem I wanted to have.
Speaker 7 (26:32):
Yeah, I honestly didn't even expect to be thanked from
you for anything. I feel like I have to thank
you because there's something really simple and superficial about this.
But it felt really real that I finished high school
as a person who went to prom. I got to go,
I got to have a fun time and forget the
(26:55):
misfit feelings I was having.
Speaker 8 (26:57):
That's awesome. That's so awesome to hear you say that.
That's really nice.
Speaker 7 (27:12):
My life started to really just like blossom and grow.
I guess from like the moment high school was over.
And I guess, I guess I can't say for certain
what that part of my life would have looked like
had I not had the prom experience, but I can't
say it was totally irrelevant.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Was it out of that and kind of like into
that period that you ended up meeting your wife Megan.
Speaker 7 (27:36):
Yeah, it was like that phase of life when Megan
I met her.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Dress is so cute. She looks beautiful. This is Megan
Brandon's wife looking at a photo of Valley from prom night.
She looks amazing, she looks great. After getting off the
video call, Ali sent the group photo from prom, Megan
studies it while seated beside Brandon.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
It's also like, so cute to see you flanked by
these Like I mean, I'm sorry, they're in high school,
so I don't real feel like I should be calling
them hot babes. But you know what I mean, Like
from the high school perspective, you lucky looking man.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
But as Brandon looks at the photo, I imagine it
isn't his day to the other kids that he's focused
on so much as he's focused on the big guy
in the middle and all the baggage that guy was carrying.
Speaker 7 (28:21):
There's a lot of weird stuff about like my weight
and growing up, like dieting, and like my mom like
putting me out of scale, and it was like, you're
over this line. You know you're unattractive, and.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
What does it make you to feel like Megan to
hear that, it makes.
Speaker 6 (28:40):
Me feel very protective for sure.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
I think if we don't, we really really get into squabbles.
But if ever we do, what really disarms me is
like thinking about that like little like young Brandon. I
feel like that it happened not even that long ago.
Do you remember we were like standing at the kitchen
and I started crying, and I was just like I
had been so resentful and mad at you for a minute,
(29:05):
and then I just like was imagining you being like
a little kid and having other like adults in his
life not really tend to like the difficulties of that
as well as they should have. I think about him
just having to like navigate those insecurities alone.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
But Brandon no longer has to navigate them alone. A
few weeks ago, before chaperoning the prom with Megan, Brandon
went to the tailor. He wanted to wear his wedding
suit and needed her to let it out.
Speaker 7 (29:34):
She was like down on her knees, like looking at it,
pulling the pants in different ways, and then said, okay,
go ahead and open the pants up so I can
see how much we can let out. And I don't
know why, but I wasn't wearing underwear. I didn't wear
underwear to the tailor. I guess I didn't think that
she was going to Brandon be asking that. So yeah,
(30:00):
she asked me to open the pants and I was
like right now, and she's like, yep, go ahead, and
I just said, I can't do that right now. If
you know what I mean. Wow, I know, I know,
and I don't think. I'm honestly not sure if she
(30:22):
knew what I meant. But she dropped it and said, Okay,
I think we'll just light it out all the way
and that'll probably be enough.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
It was awful. It was awful.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Brandon was spiraling, So as soon as he left, he
sent Megan a text at school asking her to call him.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
And when she called me, I was fixing a flat.
I got a flat tire on the way home. It
was just like a shitty afternoon. So I was fixing
a flat and telling her what it was like at
the tailor, and then we hung up, and then she
texted me later and just said.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Like I love you and I love the way your
body looks, and I don't think it's weird that you
didn't wear underwear. I don't wear underwear either.
Speaker 7 (31:06):
It was just like a you know what I mean?
She was supportive. That fixed it almost immediately for me.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
Hmm, well, I taught him to go commando, so I
feel partially responsible.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
What did you make of Brandon's question that he's had
through the years, Why did Ali invite him to the
prom in the first place?
Speaker 5 (31:36):
It didn't have to be a mystery. It makes perfect
sense to me that somebody who looks like Ali could
like the person who she's standing next to.
Speaker 9 (31:47):
You.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Brandon says the biggest difference between his two proms was
that with Megan, he didn't spend the whole night wondering
why the person by his side had chosen him. He's
just happy she did.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
I was comfortable the whole time.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
How could you not be comfortable? I mean, you weren't
wearing underpants, He held it.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
Now that the fern Atures returned into its goodwill home,
now that the last month's rant is scheming with the
damage to possibly take this.
Speaker 10 (33:06):
Moment to decide, Brandon, Hey, Hello, Hi, I can't believe
(33:29):
it's been.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Over four years.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Last time I spoke to you, you were speaking to
me from what did you call it? Your man cave, your.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
I didn't remember telling you. But it's called the chill zone,
the chill zone.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
That's right, it's right there. Wait, so you're not in
the chill zone. No, I'm in the office, okay, Because
the chill zone is for chilling. It's not for recording.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Well, it's changing its purpose now. It's for the bedtime
routine with the new baby.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Well, you really buried the lead on that one.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
So you have a baby, Yeah, we have a baby.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Yeah, it's so exciting. She's growing and learning so fast.
She's noticing things.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Does she like pulling on your mustache?
Speaker 7 (34:14):
She hasn't found my mustache in that way yet. But
she's really into containers, just putting containers in containers, taking
something out of a container, putting in a different one.
And she can do that for like an hour, and
I can just sit there and watch her and try
not to help if she's trying to put something too
big and too small container, you know, just watching her.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, it's so exciting, wonderful. That's so nice to hear. Well,
that's that's the headline. Are there have there been any
other changes since we last spoke?
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Hm? I actually listened to the Brandon episode of Heavyweight
yesterday just to have it be fresh in my mind.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Yeah, And what was that like?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Uh? It's fun.
Speaker 7 (34:57):
I feel like when I was first hearing it, I
cringe and I cringed a lot less yesterday.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Well, why do you think that is time? I think?
I mean I feel a lot different than I did
four years ago.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
How in what ways?
Speaker 7 (35:11):
About a year before Robin was born, Meg and I
started going to this meeting. It's like we'd get together
with these people and do something called chigong. It's just
like breathing and moving. It's kind of like tai chi,
but kind of exercisey. And then there's a meditation portion.
And there's this concept called no pretending that we would
(35:31):
be like, are we pretending with ourselves in our minds?
Do we pretend when we talk to other people? And
I realized that I do pretend to other people. Thinking
about how I want to come across and drawing awareness
to that helped me to do it less.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Were there certain things that you feel like were that
you were pretending at.
Speaker 7 (35:51):
I'm trying to think of a good way to explain
that or oh, you know, one day I realized I
was like, if I'm walking up to the door of
a gas station, we're going into the gas station, and
there's a stranger walking in at the same time, and
it seems like we might arrive at more or less
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I was fast to jump out of the way. You
know first, do you first? And I don't do that
sort of thing as much.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
You feel less apologetic for just being around existing, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (36:20):
Yeah, less about finding a place where I can fit
to disturb other people as little as possible, and more
now feeling like I am of I'm actually here, I'm
a I'm not just smoke, you know. I exist here
and I'm moving around and I can do and say
what I want and other people will react, however, they
will react, and that doesn't mean I should have said
(36:40):
or done something different.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
So I feel more.
Speaker 7 (36:45):
Confident, more, I guess, just in tune with what I
actually think and what I'm actually feeling. And I feel
like a much different person than I did four years ago,
in a good way.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Do you think the Brandon of today would have pursued
that story? I?
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Yeah, I do. Think so. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Yeah, there's the branden of today where underwear.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
I've got a couple pairs for special occasions.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Is this a special occasion?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
No, it isn't.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Okay, No, you have a twenty year high school reunion
coming up.
Speaker 7 (37:26):
This is the year for my twentieth reunion. Yeah, if
it's happening, are you going to go? I would love
to go.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Have you been in touch with Ali?
Speaker 8 (37:34):
No?
Speaker 7 (37:34):
I have not, but I wondered if I might see
her at this reunion. And you know, I wanted to
say before we go. When I was listening to the
episode yesterday, I felt grateful. It brought me kind of
an outside perspective on that period of my life, which
I wouldn't have had without that or you know, and
I don't think I would have reached out to Ali
on my own. And it was a good lesson to
(37:55):
learn that despite what I was going through as a teenager,
that I was still me. That's the big takeaway I
had from listening to it. You know, when she said
you were sweet, and you smiled at me and you
laughed at my jokes, that's a good quality. That's some
of the things I remember her saying from when I listened,
but I don't know how that hit me at the time.
(38:15):
I can't remember, but listening to it now, I thought
that sounds like me. The real me was still there,
I was, it was still coming out. Yeah, So thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Well, thank you, thank you for saying that and for
lending yourself to it so wholeheartedly. Will you say hi
to Meg for me? I will Brandon, it was really
nice to see you.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Have a good day you too, you too, enjoy your baby,
I will.
Speaker 10 (38:44):
I will.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Thanks to everyone who originally put this episode together. We'll
be back with another update in two weeks time. And
if you want, you can sign up for our free newsletter.
It's absolutely free and it's available at patreon dot com
slash Heavyweight Stevie. Yeah, what do we have in store
(39:19):
in the newsletter?
Speaker 3 (39:20):
We got some recommendations, things that we've liked, and there's hyperlinks.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Yes, parenthetically, I don't know that I've been hyperlinking properly
in the newsletter, like you can actually like hyperlink from
a word, right, Yeah, that I put the full r L.
I'm old school, that's right. It's only recently that I've
started pronouncing at URL. I used to just pronounce it
as earle. Do you know what RL stands for? Ooh,
(39:48):
you really love our newsletter? URL our newsletter.
Speaker 6 (39:53):
I'm speaking of The URL for the newsletter is.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
It's at patreon dot com. Slash Heavyweight
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