April 15, 2024 • 10 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John recaps his weekend at Salamander, plus how to know if your man isn't into you!
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com and you can WATCH here: WatchTheThoughtShower.com
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com and you can WATCH here: WatchTheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Happy Monday friends. Welcome to theThoughts Shower. Intern John is my name.
I had a lovely weekend. Hopefullyyou did too. This past weekend,
I was supposed to go to thewoods in West Virginia, which is
like my kind of escape, mysafe haven. I've been going to the
(00:21):
woods for my gosh, six yearsmaybe started the hockey trip probably six seven
years ago and just kind of loveit. Had the place booked, was
excited, ready to go. Thenthere was a potential opportunity to do some
content for the show, so Icanceled the trip. Then that potential opportunity
(00:43):
fell through and I got saved.Went to a salamander in Middleburg, which
if you haven't been it is fantastic. I first heard of salamander probably four
yes, yeah, four years ago, pandemic. I was supposed to go
home for Thanksgiving to Minnesota allergies Hello, but flight guy canceled COVID. They
(01:03):
reached like, hey, why don'tyou come check us out? So I
did. It is amazing, tosay the very least. I like it
too because it feels like you arelike hours away. It feels like you're
years away from like the DMV,but you're you're not. It's just right
there. So on Friday night,boys and I went out, did the
(01:26):
gym, took a nap, andthen I've I made an elite move,
if I say so myself. Iwent and got dinner myself at the restaurant
on site, got myself a niceturkey sandwich. But I was like,
you want to watch jump, You'regonna be hungry later. Order a pizza
to go that way, young guyde room service, YadA YadA, got
this chicken pesto pizza. Oh mygod. Oh it's so good. Chicken
(01:52):
paesto. Like I'm more of apepperoni guy, right, but if I'm
feeling fancy, chicken pesto the wayto go. Did that. Then on
Saturday, what do we do well, skittles. I want to say he's
learning soccer, but like he alwaysliked playing the soccer ball and so gatma
(02:12):
ball. We did that, andhe is he's good. He's very good.
I mean, obviously he can't shoot, but like he'll lea's chase the
ball down, move it with hishead, so on and so forth.
Did a winery that was a lotof fun, nice little tasty in action.
Came back from that this kind ofrelaxed, you know, relaxed,
(02:34):
didn't do much, had a chanceto just kind of, oh my gosh,
these allergies kind of bezen. AndI've been trying to get better at
that, the idea of just notdoing anything, not having anything to do.
So I watched the Cavs game,had dinner. Then Sunday yesterday,
very special day because it was theend of the year banquet for hockey,
(02:59):
which is always something we look forwardto because you know, the season ended
in February. Here we are nowalmost two months later from the last game.
It's something you look forward to becauseyou want to see everybody again,
but it also means, you know, the last time you see the seniors.
This class was special because they werethe COVID class their first year,
(03:21):
their freshman year as COVID, andso it was fun to see them and
then to do that. And thisweekend, I'm excited. I got the
coaches trip. We go out oftown for a little coaches trip. But
I realized this weekend too, Ithought I'd done a pretty good job at
like spreading myself, not spreading myselfout, you know, making sure good
to go. I'm out of town, the next four weekends, which is
(03:46):
not great. Not great planning byme. I have coaches trip this weekend,
got a wedding in La next weekend, hoodie's wedding the weekend after that,
and then can be out of thecountry the weekend after that. So
it's like, I mean again,first of all problems, it could be
allow wers. It's just I've beenlike really cognizant of not going too hard
(04:09):
and trying to give myself a littlebit of space, which leads me to
this excuse me. Ways, anunhappy man sabotages his relationship, which I
thought was interesting because I think sometimeshe do it, not even intentionally.
It's just almost like a defense mechanism. Like the first thing they say is
(04:30):
he's working every weekend. If asudden change in one schedule can be as
signed something's not right. If yourpartner is always busy these days because he's
work is so hectic, it canmake you feel like he's trying to reason
for not spending time with you.I do think that. And then let's
assume it's not cheating or something likethat. That subtly as like humans in
(04:54):
general, for sure, dudes,we'll start to do things to like almost
soften the impact. Like if wethink the end is coming, we'll do
things so that like it doesn't hitas hard, If that makes sense.
I feel like I did this andmy therapist I talked about when we first
started talking to my old therapist aboutyou know, the podcast doing really well,
(05:16):
the show doing really well, hockeycomedy. She's like, you know,
you do all those things because you'rebuilding your walls up. I was
like, oh so, almost likesubconsciously, I was like, this is
about to end, I'm gonna needdistractions. I think that is a huge
sign for everybody. If he's callinghis friends more often, yeah, they
(05:40):
say, even though they spend mostof the time with the girlfriend, there
could be some red flags. Maybehe's reaching out to his friends a lot
more than before, even texting himconstantly when you're hanging out. It's possible
he's feeling stuck in the relationship.I think this goes back to what I
just said, He's trying to softenthe blow, getting ready for the impact,
because I do think that when you'rein a relationship, like your friends
(06:02):
kind of go to the curb alittle bit, right, Like they kind
of not get pushed aside, butnot priority number one certainly. And then
it's like, as you maybe loseinterest in the relationship, it's like,
hey, let's do you girls,imre, let's do boys? They more
for sure? Pause one second.If he's not hitting those relationship milestones instead
(06:29):
moving the relationship forward, he seemsto have his wheels suck in the mud.
He doesn't want to make plans weeksahead of time, and seems to
get bored or irritated when you talkabout how things are going for you as
a couple. Yes, probably too, because those are relationship milestones at one
at some point like past the yearmark, like one of the milestones them.
(06:51):
I mean, you've said you loveeach other, you've met each other's
parents, you've met each other's friends, past the year mark, it's probably
move in in like engagement, right, those are the next two big ones.
Otherwise you would have done the tripalready again, you wouldn't have friends
of family. Those are the twobig ones. Yeah, if he's not
(07:12):
doing that, that's a sign.If he looks bored on date night,
Yeah, that's one of those thingswhere I've been in relationships where I didn't
like going on dates to the person, and then it's funny. You get
in a new relationship and you go, okay, like this is how it's
supposed to be, Like my,uh, why I learned from my past
(07:33):
relationship to one's previous It's like,oh, like you're supposed to be happy,
you know what I mean, You'resupposed to like hanging out with this
person. They're supposed to be likea best friend. If it doesn't feel
that way, something's off. Ifhe's looking for a fight, Yes,
dudes don't want to fight with theirgirlfriends. Ever, Ever, there's I've
(07:59):
said this on the show. Ifyou think your man's just ignoring you and
like trying to get in trouble,No dude who is somewhat smart wants to
get in trouble with his girlfriend.Like, no dude wants to be in
the doghouse. So yeah, ifhe's looking for a fight, if he's
looking to get something to arise outof you, that to sign he doesn't
care anymore. Dudes love our peacemore than anything else. If he's trying
(08:24):
to wreck his own piece, something'sup. If he forgets your birthday,
I'll add this. I knew somebodywhose boyfriend quote unquote forgot Valentine's Day two
years in a row, and Isaid to this friend, hey, he's
not the one. As a dude, it is nearly I mean, when
(08:46):
we scratch that, it's impossible toforget Valentine's Day. There are reminders everywhere,
not even just like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, you know, when
you go to grin grocery store,Uber eats, but like your friends of
FAMI will ask you, hey,what are you doing for Jill for Valentine's
(09:07):
Day? And when he forgot twoyears in a row, I was like,
dude, that he just doesn't care. He does not care. I'll
do one more if he's a bitmore flirtatious with other women. Yeah,
because for me especially, I alwaysdrew that hard line because the cheating thing
(09:28):
never been for me. That overflirtingthing never been for me. For two
reasons, Like, when I'm withsomebody, they're the best person in the
world. You know, that's myview. It's like, if I'm dating
you, you're the best in theworld. I don't want anybody else thinking
they're even on your level, youknow what I mean. I don't want
to give somebody else attention, havehim think Oh, because me and Anna
(09:48):
Kendrick are dating, Like, oh, I'm the same level as Anna Kendrick
now. Also, I don't wantto give somebody the pleasure of knowing they
made me do something I shouldn't bedoing, So it's a bit of an
ego thing for me on two senses. But yeah, if he's four other
women, that also ties into nodude wants to cause a fight. So
yeah, if he's doing any ofthese things, I agree something is up.
(10:13):
I appreciate you. Make sure youcheck out the show podcast too.
Just search intern Jon in your morningshow. We'll see you Wednesday.
Happy Monday friends. Welcome to theThoughts Shower. Intern John is my name.
I had a lovely weekend. Hopefullyyou did too. This past weekend,
I was supposed to go to thewoods in West Virginia, which is
like my kind of escape, mysafe haven. I've been going to the
(00:21):
woods for my gosh, six yearsmaybe started the hockey trip probably six seven
years ago and just kind of loveit. Had the place booked, was
excited, ready to go. Thenthere was a potential opportunity to do some
content for the show, so Icanceled the trip. Then that potential opportunity
(00:43):
fell through and I got saved.Went to a salamander in Middleburg, which
if you haven't been it is fantastic. I first heard of salamander probably four
yes, yeah, four years ago, pandemic. I was supposed to go
home for Thanksgiving to Minnesota allergies Hello, but flight guy canceled COVID. They
(01:03):
reached like, hey, why don'tyou come check us out? So I
did. It is amazing, tosay the very least. I like it
too because it feels like you arelike hours away. It feels like you're
years away from like the DMV,but you're you're not. It's just right
there. So on Friday night,boys and I went out, did the
(01:26):
gym, took a nap, andthen I've I made an elite move,
if I say so myself. Iwent and got dinner myself at the restaurant
on site, got myself a niceturkey sandwich. But I was like,
you want to watch jump, You'regonna be hungry later. Order a pizza
to go that way, young guyde room service, YadA YadA, got
this chicken pesto pizza. Oh mygod. Oh it's so good. Chicken
(01:52):
paesto. Like I'm more of apepperoni guy, right, but if I'm
feeling fancy, chicken pesto the wayto go. Did that. Then on
Saturday, what do we do well, skittles. I want to say he's
learning soccer, but like he alwaysliked playing the soccer ball and so gatma
(02:12):
ball. We did that, andhe is he's good. He's very good.
I mean, obviously he can't shoot, but like he'll lea's chase the
ball down, move it with hishead, so on and so forth.
Did a winery that was a lotof fun, nice little tasty in action.
Came back from that this kind ofrelaxed, you know, relaxed,
(02:34):
didn't do much, had a chanceto just kind of, oh my gosh,
these allergies kind of bezen. AndI've been trying to get better at
that, the idea of just notdoing anything, not having anything to do.
So I watched the Cavs game,had dinner. Then Sunday yesterday,
very special day because it was theend of the year banquet for hockey,
(02:59):
which is always something we look forwardto because you know, the season ended
in February. Here we are nowalmost two months later from the last game.
It's something you look forward to becauseyou want to see everybody again,
but it also means, you know, the last time you see the seniors.
This class was special because they werethe COVID class their first year,
(03:21):
their freshman year as COVID, andso it was fun to see them and
then to do that. And thisweekend, I'm excited. I got the
coaches trip. We go out oftown for a little coaches trip. But
I realized this weekend too, Ithought I'd done a pretty good job at
like spreading myself, not spreading myselfout, you know, making sure good
to go. I'm out of town, the next four weekends, which is
(03:46):
not great. Not great planning byme. I have coaches trip this weekend,
got a wedding in La next weekend, hoodie's wedding the weekend after that,
and then can be out of thecountry the weekend after that. So
it's like, I mean again,first of all problems, it could be
allow wers. It's just I've beenlike really cognizant of not going too hard
(04:09):
and trying to give myself a littlebit of space, which leads me to
this excuse me. Ways, anunhappy man sabotages his relationship, which I
thought was interesting because I think sometimeshe do it, not even intentionally.
It's just almost like a defense mechanism. Like the first thing they say is
(04:30):
he's working every weekend. If asudden change in one schedule can be as
signed something's not right. If yourpartner is always busy these days because he's
work is so hectic, it canmake you feel like he's trying to reason
for not spending time with you.I do think that. And then let's
assume it's not cheating or something likethat. That subtly as like humans in
(04:54):
general, for sure, dudes,we'll start to do things to like almost
soften the impact. Like if wethink the end is coming, we'll do
things so that like it doesn't hitas hard, If that makes sense.
I feel like I did this andmy therapist I talked about when we first
started talking to my old therapist aboutyou know, the podcast doing really well,
(05:16):
the show doing really well, hockeycomedy. She's like, you know,
you do all those things because you'rebuilding your walls up. I was
like, oh so, almost likesubconsciously, I was like, this is
about to end, I'm gonna needdistractions. I think that is a huge
sign for everybody. If he's callinghis friends more often, yeah, they
(05:40):
say, even though they spend mostof the time with the girlfriend, there
could be some red flags. Maybehe's reaching out to his friends a lot
more than before, even texting himconstantly when you're hanging out. It's possible
he's feeling stuck in the relationship.I think this goes back to what I
just said, He's trying to softenthe blow, getting ready for the impact,
because I do think that when you'rein a relationship, like your friends
(06:02):
kind of go to the curb alittle bit, right, Like they kind
of not get pushed aside, butnot priority number one certainly. And then
it's like, as you maybe loseinterest in the relationship, it's like,
hey, let's do you girls,imre, let's do boys? They more
for sure? Pause one second.If he's not hitting those relationship milestones instead
(06:29):
moving the relationship forward, he seemsto have his wheels suck in the mud.
He doesn't want to make plans weeksahead of time, and seems to
get bored or irritated when you talkabout how things are going for you as
a couple. Yes, probably too, because those are relationship milestones at one
at some point like past the yearmark, like one of the milestones them.
(06:51):
I mean, you've said you loveeach other, you've met each other's
parents, you've met each other's friends, past the year mark, it's probably
move in in like engagement, right, those are the next two big ones.
Otherwise you would have done the tripalready again, you wouldn't have friends
of family. Those are the twobig ones. Yeah, if he's not
(07:12):
doing that, that's a sign.If he looks bored on date night,
Yeah, that's one of those thingswhere I've been in relationships where I didn't
like going on dates to the person, and then it's funny. You get
in a new relationship and you go, okay, like this is how it's
supposed to be, Like my,uh, why I learned from my past
(07:33):
relationship to one's previous It's like,oh, like you're supposed to be happy,
you know what I mean, You'resupposed to like hanging out with this
person. They're supposed to be likea best friend. If it doesn't feel
that way, something's off. Ifhe's looking for a fight, Yes,
dudes don't want to fight with theirgirlfriends. Ever, Ever, there's I've
(07:59):
said this on the show. Ifyou think your man's just ignoring you and
like trying to get in trouble,No dude who is somewhat smart wants to
get in trouble with his girlfriend.Like, no dude wants to be in
the doghouse. So yeah, ifhe's looking for a fight, if he's
looking to get something to arise outof you, that to sign he doesn't
care anymore. Dudes love our peacemore than anything else. If he's trying
(08:24):
to wreck his own piece, something'sup. If he forgets your birthday,
I'll add this. I knew somebodywhose boyfriend quote unquote forgot Valentine's Day two
years in a row, and Isaid to this friend, hey, he's
not the one. As a dude, it is nearly I mean, when
(08:46):
we scratch that, it's impossible toforget Valentine's Day. There are reminders everywhere,
not even just like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, you know, when
you go to grin grocery store,Uber eats, but like your friends of
FAMI will ask you, hey,what are you doing for Jill for Valentine's
(09:07):
Day? And when he forgot twoyears in a row, I was like,
dude, that he just doesn't care. He does not care. I'll
do one more if he's a bitmore flirtatious with other women. Yeah,
because for me especially, I alwaysdrew that hard line because the cheating thing
(09:28):
never been for me. That overflirtingthing never been for me. For two
reasons, Like, when I'm withsomebody, they're the best person in the
world. You know, that's myview. It's like, if I'm dating
you, you're the best in theworld. I don't want anybody else thinking
they're even on your level, youknow what I mean. I don't want
to give somebody else attention, havehim think Oh, because me and Anna
(09:48):
Kendrick are dating, Like, oh, I'm the same level as Anna Kendrick
now. Also, I don't wantto give somebody the pleasure of knowing they
made me do something I shouldn't bedoing, So it's a bit of an
ego thing for me on two senses. But yeah, if he's four other
women, that also ties into nodude wants to cause a fight. So
yeah, if he's doing any ofthese things, I agree something is up.
(10:13):
I appreciate you. Make sure youcheck out the show podcast too.
Just search intern Jon in your morningshow. We'll see you Wednesday.
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