You're Intimidating - 966

On this episode of The Thought Shower, Inter John gives an update on Chuy's medical situdation, and how to know if you're intimidating!

You can vote Sos for Radio Host of the Year and The Thought Shower with Intern John and Shelby Sos for podcast of the year at VoteSos.com!

Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com and you can WATCH here: WatchTheThoughtShower.com

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
And Happy Wednesday. Friends. Welcometo the Thought Shower intern John is my
name. Appreciate you hanging out.Hopefully had a good week so far.
It has been an expensive week foryour boy. If you're thinking about getting
a pet, just know they arevery expensive. And I know I've heard

(00:23):
people sometimes who don't have pets said, how could somebody spend this much money
at medical care? Man, oncethey've been in your lives for a while,
it is very difficult to not dothat. I mean, I've had
Chewy fifteen years. Skittles I've hadfor three years. I've done him his
whole life. Very attached to theseboys. So the boys were in day

(00:46):
camp over the last week. Cheweywas acting a little bit odd. Had
the doctor run some tests. Hehad elevated liver level, and I told
him cut back on the drinking,you know, and he just hasn't.
He hasn't listened to me yet.So we did that and then the had
to go to the cardiologists this week. So Bill this past weekend about seventeen
hundred dollars. Very exciting cardiologists becauseCheweye has heart disease. He's fifteen.

(01:11):
It kind of you know, comeswith territory and he's been on medication for
I want to say almost two orthree years, and so there's that.
And then he got Skittles, whowas born with a little bit of a
heart defect, so there's there's thatas well. So he went to the
cardiologist. And first of all,Skittles and Chewy are stars wherever they go.

(01:34):
They're very nice people. It wasvery felt, very comfortable there.
Scheey's heart relatively okay. Skittle's heartrelatively okay as well, So it was
a relatively okay experience, thanks everybodywho reached out. I mean relatively okay
results selling for results on Chewey hadto do some more liver tests because enzymes
are higher, so got more ofthose tests coming. But man, get

(01:57):
pet insurance, friends, That's justone of those things that you don't need.
You don't want to know when you'regonna need it, but you're gonna
need it. I know some placesnow they will let you do, like
some businesses have it for the medicalplan where you can get pet insurance,
which I think is very cool.So so I got distracted because I on

(02:19):
TV TikTok creators are suing the USgovernment for uh get TikTok not banned,
and I don't know how often itworks to doing the government, but I
got imagine the TikTok kids probably won'tbe the ones to get it done.
I'm just gonna throw it out there, no judgment. Certainly. I haven't
gotten that like into TikTok. Ilike to watch TikTok certainly, but I
haven't gotten that far down the rabbithole of uh uh, trying to do

(02:45):
I don't know, make TikTok stuff. It's just there's so much time in
the day that has to do otherthings, you know what I mean.
I've been trying to do better.I keep mentioning this about relaxing and being
in the moment. And that's onething that Sauce is when the first it's
kind of brought up to me acouple of years ago about how I sometimes
get so focused on the task athand that I don't live in the moment.

(03:07):
And that's true, I think,you know, as far as the
morning show goes, I got acall on a Friday that the show is
starting a Monday, you know,and so kind of always felt like had
to hit the ground run and hadto keep going and it kind of felt
like giving the keys to a shipin the middle of a hurricane, you
know, And so now it's kindof like calmer waters, feels like I

(03:29):
can kind of loosen up a littlebit and not white knuckle the wheel.
So it's been it's been fun tokind of get back to enjoying doing things.
I think also too, it's hardto doing radio in the pandemic because
we couldn't see you, like seeingyou at events and seeing you in public.
That's what makes us fun because forus, you know, it's us
in a room talking and like we'llget ratings numbers, and the ratings have

(03:51):
been we've been blessed with the greatratings, which is very exciting. But
seeing numbers on a sheet versus seeingpeople in person, it's a different vibe.
So that's been it's been very cool, very Speaking of numbers, Shelby
Sauce has been nominated Maryland or BussyBaltimore Magazine's or Radio Hosts of the Year.
You can vote now with the nextFriday. In the podcast The Thought
Shower of the Intern, John andShelby Sauce voted for best Podcasts. So

(04:14):
if you can please every day untilnext Friday, Vote Sauce dot com.
That's vote sos dot com. Votefor it. Shelby Sauce for Radio Personality
the Year. Vote for the ThoughtShower the intern John for Best Podcasts of
the Year. Vote sauce dot com. Want to get to this via Wednesday.
The things people do when they're secretlyintimidated by you. I've been told

(04:35):
that I'm intimidating. I certainly don'tdo it intentionally, so I guess I
need to be more aware of thisstuff. I'm also not the best when
it comes to social cues. Itis what it is like when somebody hits
on me. I have absolutely noidea some of these. I think I
do know what it means. They'reintimidated, or maybe it's just anxiety.

(04:57):
If they won't make eye contact withyou, I think think eye contact.
We're still trying to recover from thepandemic. Honestly, I really think that's
the thing where it's just it's soweird having conversations in person if they won't
get too close to you. Theysay, creating space is something we do
when we're frightened, and the samebehavior can manifest when someone's intimidated by creating
space. We give ourselves protection andmore time to react to the threat become

(05:20):
hostile. That to me makes sense. Right, because you feel close to
somebody, you'll get in their orbit, right, you'll get within I guess
fighting distance. That makes sense tome. If they fidget, I think
I can tell this with people.I think so if like they drop things

(05:41):
or just can't quite get a wholdof something, they say, we're gonna
stress my situation. We fidget,bounce our legs, play with the hem
of our clothing, twirl hair.The use a way of letting you go
of excess anxious energy. That tome makes sense. I think I kind
of do that too sometimes, ButI don't really get intimate in person.
I'm trying to think of the lasttime that happened. I mean, I've

(06:02):
been getting having some lunches with ourCEO. That has been very much.
That can be very scary. That'slike, he's a very great guy.
He's a very smart guy. I'mlike, man, this guy could fire
me right now if you want to, like right now, they angle themselves
away from you. This is interesting. It's more subtle clue. When you

(06:24):
approach them from the front, theymight angle themselves slightly to the left or
right to avoid looking you straight on. It's another habit picked up from our
animal ancestors. In certain species likewolves, can be a sign of respect,
and others it can protect vital organsand escape make escape easier. Interesting.
That is funny too, because theyalways talk about with our ancestors,

(06:46):
how you can feel somebody's eyes onyou. Oh, there's my alarm,
take my birth control. How youcan feel somebody's eyes on you, You
know, like how you can ifyou somebody stare at you in a room,
you can sense somebody staring at you, which I think is wild realized,
I said, room. Damn it, there's another one I got.
I was being made fun of likethis last week. How I say tour

(07:10):
it's tour, But I guess mybrother says it the same way we say
tour, like we say like tu r e ish, not tour.
It's a tour. Listen. I'veworked very hard on the Midwest accent.
I'd worked very hard on it,uh to in like when I go back
home. Actually, I don't thinkI've really had one that badly. When

(07:30):
I go back to Minnesota and Ihear the o's in the yas them,
I'm like, my goodness, didI ever sound like this? Oh yeah,
you know. I can go tothe mall. That's a little bit
of Boston there too. If theywon't ask you about yourself. Okay,
they say. This could also beself certain people, but can be relevant
people who are intimidated by you.Keeping encounters breathing casual can help them feel

(07:51):
safer. They may not want toprolong conversation or potentially discover new details.
I've noticed this with folks. Ithink at the radio station sometimes when like
somebody asked me a question about somethingand then immediately like walk away. I'm
like, hey, we can talk. You know. I do think I
have RBF. Sometimes that doesn't help. I also tend to just keep to

(08:16):
myself, like I'm very much anobserver. Eric has told people when they
start working here, like he's acat, let him come to you.
There is a little bit of truthin that. I think. I think
that I will kind of sit backand watch somebody and just kind of see
how they move, see how theywork, and then okay, it's almost

(08:37):
like it's like security for yourself,you know. I think that sometimes let
people in too quickly and I'm verymuch like Nope, it's gonna sit back,
relax and enjoy if they not excessively, they say, nodding example of
nonverbal assurance. It's a sign ofactive listening. Indicates the person is invested
in what you have to say andwant to continue. Nodding to someone who

(09:00):
intimidates you as a way of flatteringand ensuring them. That makes sense if
they won't challenge your opinion dune,dundune, they say, speaking of being
agreeable, those who are intimidated byyou will be less likely to challenge your
authority or raise criticism. I havehad trouble with this in the past.
I think that though, Like I'llsometimes like I'll ask, I'll say something

(09:24):
sauce like hey, does this thisthis make sense? And she'll say yeah,
and I'll go no, but like, actually, though, does this
actually make sense? Like I'll likesometimes have to pry out feedback from folks.
The last ones. They might tryto exclude you. I think I've
felt this before. They would crampthe mood, and you probably feel awkward

(09:45):
having unprofessionally behaving unprofessionally around them.Same goes, so those might find you
intimidating if they think you'll cause issueswith them or other people attending, it
might be less likely get invited toevents. I think this happens with dudes,
where it's like you can hang outwith girls, you don't invite your
guy friend that he thinks a threat. Probably happens with women too, where
it's like you don't want somebody whoyou proceed to be as more attractive than

(10:07):
you. I think that's kind ofanimal in stincret there as well. Anyway,
have a great Wednesday, friend,appreciate you listen. Make sure you
check out the radio show as wellto search intern Jon in your morning show
wherever you get your podcasts