May 24, 2024 • 9 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about his weekend, and how narcissists will try to win you over
You can vote Sos for Radio Host of the Year and The Thought Shower with Intern John and Shelby Sos for podcast of the year at VoteSos.com!
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com and you can WATCH here: WatchTheThoughtShower.com
You can vote Sos for Radio Host of the Year and The Thought Shower with Intern John and Shelby Sos for podcast of the year at VoteSos.com!
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com and you can WATCH here: WatchTheThoughtShower.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And Happy Friday, friends. Welcometo the Thought Shower. Intern John is
my name. Reminder, today isthe last day to vote. Shall be
Sauce nominated for Radio Hosts of theYear in Baltimore Magazine. The Thoughts Shower
nominated for Best Podcast. If youget a chance to vote today, I
(00:21):
would greatly appreciate it. Have yourfriends vote, family whomever, vote Sauce
dot com. That's vote sos dotcom. Vote for Sauce for best Radio
Personality the Thought Shower for Best Podcast. The voting ends Friday. That's today,
Vote sauce dot com. Also Sauce'sbirthday, so happy birthday to her.
(00:43):
Oh man, my laptop keeps dyingon me. It's kind of like
when your car stops working. It'salways when like your bills kind of get
settled on. Hell, I'm professional. When your bills kind of get settled
in like you, I'm a littlebit ahead, that's when things stop working
(01:04):
always, Isn't that how it kindof goes? My laptop? Man,
it's not great. It's not great. Had to bring my car in this
week too for a tire issue,and uh, the worst part about that
is when you bring the car inthey always give you a nice car as
a loaner, where you go,oh, man, this one has whatever
(01:25):
reason. I once had a caryears ago that wasn't mine, but it
was through a client that had seatcoolers. I thought that was the coolest
thing ever, Like that was sosick. And now the car if they
gave me as a loaner, hasthe seat coolers on it. I'm like,
hell, yeah, those things,man, And I know you can
only use them for a little bitof the year, but it's just so
(01:47):
cool. I can't explain it.Otherwise, I'm trying to think, like
if I've been in a car recentlywhere it had some feature where I was
like blown away. I was inan uber where his car it has like
cameras underneath the driver's side mirrors andthen also on the license plates, so
when he's parking, it looks likeit has a shot from the sky.
(02:10):
If that makes sense, that's prettycool. I like that a lot.
Otherwise, I feel like I've heardof cars they have massagers. I know
that. I think when Cain gota Range Drover, it had like an
umbrella holder, which I was like, it's cool had to get an umbrella.
(02:31):
But that's kind of cool. I'mtry a thing man. Nothing over
the top, right, I mean, the moon roofs are cool, like
the roofs to go back. Oneof the weird thing is, though,
I hate because I was driving intoday and whoever had this car before me,
like the loaner car. I hatewhen you get in like a loaner
car or a rental car, andsome idiot has boosted the bass way up.
(02:54):
It's like, I don't maybe I'mjust idiot. I don't understand how
you can enjoy music like that,like actually hear it. Maybe I listened
too loud, but we're just like, I don't even know what's going on.
Aren't you afraid it's going to explode? I'm also too though, because
of the nature of my profession,I'm very oecd about my hearing, or
(03:19):
at least trying to be, becauseI think so many radio people have DJ
ears where it's like they can't hearanymore because you were in headphones for so
long. So like, I alwaystry to keep my headphones lower than they
need to be because I feel likehearing is one of those ones where it's
hard to get that back. Iknow they have hearing aids, but for
us though, Like I wear headphonesin the ear, so I feel like
(03:43):
it'd be difficult. Anyway, We'regetting way off topic. We're never on
topic. Baby, I'm excited thisweekend. I was supposed to go to
Nashville see my family, which wouldhave been great. Also been my cousin's
graduation from high school, which iscrazy. But chewing skills have like four
thousand dollars and that bills past weekand I'm being responsible, so I'm staying
home, which is also nice becauseI had I gone to Nashville. I've
(04:05):
been gone like the last eight weekends. So the plan is to kind of
like relax, recharge, work onsome creative projects I'm very excited about and
do that, try to be onea little bit, maybe do a little
cleaning. Who knows, been watchingthings more, been reading more, Just
trying to kind of, like,you know, enjoy things, enjoy life.
(04:27):
I wanted to hit this for yourFriday though. Man, the things
narcissists say to manipulate and control you. I've dealt with narcissists work, family,
friends, the whole gambit. It'scrazy now, but at the time,
looking back, not realizing what wasgoing on at the type of gaslighting
(04:48):
I mentioned before, like Sauce isthe person that have to call and be
like, hey, is this actuallyhappening? Or am I going crazy?
And she'd be the one that haveto kind of like get me back on
like no, no, or thisis what's happening. The first thing is
that they say you're making a bigdeal on nothing. They'll tell you this
make it feel like you're being dramaticor overreacting to a situation. It's a
(05:10):
sneaky way from dismiss and minimize yourfeelings. Yeah, making it seem like
you're wrong, like they did somethingwrong to you, right, but you
were making a big deal on nothing. It's a real small thing, Like
you are sensitive, Like the restof us wouldn't make a big deal out
of this, but you are becauseyou're sensitive. Hate that, which leads
(05:30):
into the next thing, you're waytoo sensitive say. It's common for narcissists
to put you down and belittle you, like telling you that you are way
too dramatic or sensitive. They're alwayscriticized the news to you experience low self
confidence. They want you to feellike your opinions and feelings don't matter.
I do think too. It's almostlike they're grooming you, so that if
they're telling you you're being too sensitive, the next time they do something wrong,
(05:54):
in your mind, you're like,oh, am I just being Am
I just being too sensitive? Though? Yeah, no, I never said
that, bruh had that happen.That's why it's funny. Eric's always said
I don't forget things like about me, and it's true. I think because
of that, because of having likepeople who go back on things. And
(06:17):
maybe it's just like the Midwest ofme. You just assume the best in
people and then you slowly realize that'snow happens. But man, like the
amount of emails I've had to likerecap conversations just to make sure that everything's
good. It's a wild world,dude, it's a it's a wild,
wild world. Now my computer's pluggedin and it says not charging. That's
(06:39):
exciting. Maybe I'll move to adifferent one. There we go, everyone
agrees with me. I hate thisone when somebody says that, because what's
that employ that What they're trying toimply is I've already talked about this to
everyone in your circle, everyone youcare about, everyone whose opinion you value.
I've already talked to them and they'reon side. They all think you're
(07:01):
crazy already. And then I thinkthat's the thing where your mind goes off.
It's like, oh my god,have they been treating me differently?
Do they actually believe this? Ithink that's one thing that people do to
try to separate you too. NowI've said this before on the air,
I said this in the podcast.Anybody who makes you feel like you should
feel lucky to be with them isnot somebody want to be with. Now,
(07:24):
on flip side, have I beenin relationships where I felt lucky to
be dating that person? Absolutely,But they never overtly are like you should
feel lucky. It was by theiractions, you know what I mean.
Like they would do things and go, man, I'm really lucky to be
with this person. Next thing theywould say, after all I've done for
you? They say. Guilt trippingis a tactic narcissists used to make you
(07:46):
feel obligated to them. That's oneof those things too, where like if
you're keeping track of good deeds you'vedone in a relationship, that's not something
you want to do. I hatethat. Like, this is why I
don't let people pay for things forme because it's happened too much where I've
let somebody pay and then they bringit up down the line, Hey remember
(08:07):
the time I did this, orI'm I'm like, no, I know
what, never again, never again. Or somebody will like ask to do
you, like a favor for me. I got they asked to watch the
dogs or pick something up for me, and then I take them up on
it, and it's like a hugedeal. I'm like, no, nope,
never again. All this be selfsufficient, you know what I mean.
(08:31):
It's sad that there's people that dothat, you know, because to
me, it's just like this iswhy. It's like I'll get to a
place like I should really you know, trust somebody again. Then you do
that and go wonder what now?This is exactly why I am the way
that I am. Oh Man.The last one is they say you're lucky.
I tolerate you. No, theysay, narcissists wants you to feel
(08:52):
terrified of being alone. You areamazing. They are dumb. I've always
gone back to again, if youare such an obligation for them, if
you are such a burden and theyare so great, why are they with
you? Do you know? WhatI mean. If they were that great
and had that many options, whywould they stay with you? If you're
(09:16):
a burden, they wouldn't. Theywouldn't do that at all. It makes
no sense. Be happy, behealthy. We appreciate you. Again.
If you get a chance today,please please please vote Sauce for Best Radio
Host Baltimore Magazine, The Thoughts Showerfor Best Podcast. Vote Sauce dot Com.
Vote Sauce dot com. Have agreat Morrow Day weekend,
And Happy Friday, friends. Welcometo the Thought Shower. Intern John is
my name. Reminder, today isthe last day to vote. Shall be
Sauce nominated for Radio Hosts of theYear in Baltimore Magazine. The Thoughts Shower
nominated for Best Podcast. If youget a chance to vote today, I
(00:21):
would greatly appreciate it. Have yourfriends vote, family whomever, vote Sauce
dot com. That's vote sos dotcom. Vote for Sauce for best Radio
Personality the Thought Shower for Best Podcast. The voting ends Friday. That's today,
Vote sauce dot com. Also Sauce'sbirthday, so happy birthday to her.
(00:43):
Oh man, my laptop keeps dyingon me. It's kind of like
when your car stops working. It'salways when like your bills kind of get
settled on. Hell, I'm professional. When your bills kind of get settled
in like you, I'm a littlebit ahead, that's when things stop working
(01:04):
always, Isn't that how it kindof goes? My laptop? Man,
it's not great. It's not great. Had to bring my car in this
week too for a tire issue,and uh, the worst part about that
is when you bring the car inthey always give you a nice car as
a loaner, where you go,oh, man, this one has whatever
(01:25):
reason. I once had a caryears ago that wasn't mine, but it
was through a client that had seatcoolers. I thought that was the coolest
thing ever, Like that was sosick. And now the car if they
gave me as a loaner, hasthe seat coolers on it. I'm like,
hell, yeah, those things,man, And I know you can
only use them for a little bitof the year, but it's just so
(01:47):
cool. I can't explain it.Otherwise, I'm trying to think, like
if I've been in a car recentlywhere it had some feature where I was
like blown away. I was inan uber where his car it has like
cameras underneath the driver's side mirrors andthen also on the license plates, so
when he's parking, it looks likeit has a shot from the sky.
(02:10):
If that makes sense, that's prettycool. I like that a lot.
Otherwise, I feel like I've heardof cars they have massagers. I know
that. I think when Cain gota Range Drover, it had like an
umbrella holder, which I was like, it's cool had to get an umbrella.
(02:31):
But that's kind of cool. I'mtry a thing man. Nothing over
the top, right, I mean, the moon roofs are cool, like
the roofs to go back. Oneof the weird thing is, though,
I hate because I was driving intoday and whoever had this car before me,
like the loaner car. I hatewhen you get in like a loaner
car or a rental car, andsome idiot has boosted the bass way up.
(02:54):
It's like, I don't maybe I'mjust idiot. I don't understand how
you can enjoy music like that,like actually hear it. Maybe I listened
too loud, but we're just like, I don't even know what's going on.
Aren't you afraid it's going to explode? I'm also too though, because
of the nature of my profession,I'm very oecd about my hearing, or
(03:19):
at least trying to be, becauseI think so many radio people have DJ
ears where it's like they can't hearanymore because you were in headphones for so
long. So like, I alwaystry to keep my headphones lower than they
need to be because I feel likehearing is one of those ones where it's
hard to get that back. Iknow they have hearing aids, but for
us though, Like I wear headphonesin the ear, so I feel like
(03:43):
it'd be difficult. Anyway, We'regetting way off topic. We're never on
topic. Baby, I'm excited thisweekend. I was supposed to go to
Nashville see my family, which wouldhave been great. Also been my cousin's
graduation from high school, which iscrazy. But chewing skills have like four
thousand dollars and that bills past weekand I'm being responsible, so I'm staying
home, which is also nice becauseI had I gone to Nashville. I've
(04:05):
been gone like the last eight weekends. So the plan is to kind of
like relax, recharge, work onsome creative projects I'm very excited about and
do that, try to be onea little bit, maybe do a little
cleaning. Who knows, been watchingthings more, been reading more, Just
trying to kind of, like,you know, enjoy things, enjoy life.
(04:27):
I wanted to hit this for yourFriday though. Man, the things
narcissists say to manipulate and control you. I've dealt with narcissists work, family,
friends, the whole gambit. It'scrazy now, but at the time,
looking back, not realizing what wasgoing on at the type of gaslighting
(04:48):
I mentioned before, like Sauce isthe person that have to call and be
like, hey, is this actuallyhappening? Or am I going crazy?
And she'd be the one that haveto kind of like get me back on
like no, no, or thisis what's happening. The first thing is
that they say you're making a bigdeal on nothing. They'll tell you this
make it feel like you're being dramaticor overreacting to a situation. It's a
(05:10):
sneaky way from dismiss and minimize yourfeelings. Yeah, making it seem like
you're wrong, like they did somethingwrong to you, right, but you
were making a big deal on nothing. It's a real small thing, Like
you are sensitive, Like the restof us wouldn't make a big deal out
of this, but you are becauseyou're sensitive. Hate that, which leads
(05:30):
into the next thing, you're waytoo sensitive say. It's common for narcissists
to put you down and belittle you, like telling you that you are way
too dramatic or sensitive. They're alwayscriticized the news to you experience low self
confidence. They want you to feellike your opinions and feelings don't matter.
I do think too. It's almostlike they're grooming you, so that if
they're telling you you're being too sensitive, the next time they do something wrong,
(05:54):
in your mind, you're like,oh, am I just being Am
I just being too sensitive? Though? Yeah, no, I never said
that, bruh had that happen.That's why it's funny. Eric's always said
I don't forget things like about me, and it's true. I think because
of that, because of having likepeople who go back on things. And
(06:17):
maybe it's just like the Midwest ofme. You just assume the best in
people and then you slowly realize that'snow happens. But man, like the
amount of emails I've had to likerecap conversations just to make sure that everything's
good. It's a wild world,dude, it's a it's a wild,
wild world. Now my computer's pluggedin and it says not charging. That's
(06:39):
exciting. Maybe I'll move to adifferent one. There we go, everyone
agrees with me. I hate thisone when somebody says that, because what's
that employ that What they're trying toimply is I've already talked about this to
everyone in your circle, everyone youcare about, everyone whose opinion you value.
I've already talked to them and they'reon side. They all think you're
(07:01):
crazy already. And then I thinkthat's the thing where your mind goes off.
It's like, oh my god,have they been treating me differently?
Do they actually believe this? Ithink that's one thing that people do to
try to separate you too. NowI've said this before on the air,
I said this in the podcast.Anybody who makes you feel like you should
feel lucky to be with them isnot somebody want to be with. Now,
(07:24):
on flip side, have I beenin relationships where I felt lucky to
be dating that person? Absolutely,But they never overtly are like you should
feel lucky. It was by theiractions, you know what I mean.
Like they would do things and go, man, I'm really lucky to be
with this person. Next thing theywould say, after all I've done for
you? They say. Guilt trippingis a tactic narcissists used to make you
(07:46):
feel obligated to them. That's oneof those things too, where like if
you're keeping track of good deeds you'vedone in a relationship, that's not something
you want to do. I hatethat. Like, this is why I
don't let people pay for things forme because it's happened too much where I've
let somebody pay and then they bringit up down the line, Hey remember
(08:07):
the time I did this, orI'm I'm like, no, I know
what, never again, never again. Or somebody will like ask to do
you, like a favor for me. I got they asked to watch the
dogs or pick something up for me, and then I take them up on
it, and it's like a hugedeal. I'm like, no, nope,
never again. All this be selfsufficient, you know what I mean.
(08:31):
It's sad that there's people that dothat, you know, because to
me, it's just like this iswhy. It's like I'll get to a
place like I should really you know, trust somebody again. Then you do
that and go wonder what now?This is exactly why I am the way
that I am. Oh Man.The last one is they say you're lucky.
I tolerate you. No, theysay, narcissists wants you to feel
(08:52):
terrified of being alone. You areamazing. They are dumb. I've always
gone back to again, if youare such an obligation for them, if
you are such a burden and theyare so great, why are they with
you? Do you know? WhatI mean. If they were that great
and had that many options, whywould they stay with you? If you're
(09:16):
a burden, they wouldn't. Theywouldn't do that at all. It makes
no sense. Be happy, behealthy. We appreciate you. Again.
If you get a chance today,please please please vote Sauce for Best Radio
Host Baltimore Magazine, The Thoughts Showerfor Best Podcast. Vote Sauce dot Com.
Vote Sauce dot com. Have agreat Morrow Day weekend,
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