You're Toxic - 978

On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John recaps his weekend in the woods, plus how to know if you're the toxic one

Intern John's FROM SCRATCH on sale now! 
7/20 Arlington Draft House, Arlington VA
8/15 Rams Head LIVE, Baltimore

 InternJohnComedy.com

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
And a happy Monday friend. Welcometo the Thought Shower. Intern. John
is my name. I am freshoff a lovely weekend away. Went to
the Woods this past weekend. Man, it felt good. I hadn't had
a chance to go the woods sincelast summer. So for the last couple
of years, like three or fourtimes a year, I go to the

(00:22):
Woods. Usually it's in coordination withwriting for a comedy show. And to
me, it feels like I'm tenyears away. Even though it's only like
an hour and a half, thisfeels like it's ten years away. You
completely secluded. It's amazing. Now. I usually go to different places,
like different Airbnb's been to the sameone twice now, which is rare for

(00:44):
me. However, this one Ithink is like the most perfect cabin.
If it was for sale, Iprobably buy it, except for the fact
that it's only one bedroom. I'mgonna be core to have a place that
has room for more sleep. Soyou have friends over that tip of vibe.
But the boys and I went Fridayafter work. It was a little
bit of a bad omen, buttraffic was really bad Friday, so it's

(01:10):
supposed to take us like an hourand a half and taking two hours whatever,
It's not that big of a deal. It's just good to get there,
you know what I mean. Firstthings, first town guy to get
the dairy Queen. And that's somethingI started doing last year. I'm like,
you want to know what if Isee dairy Queen, I'm gona get
myself dairy queen chocolate dip cone.Friend. I remember, by the way,

(01:30):
at least I think I do.The East have a butterscotch dip cone
and that was supposed to be reallygood. I loved it, but like
not no mo seeing them tip thecone over and the chocolate is one of
the coolest things ever. It's likewhen they do the blizzard thing they turned
over and they try and knock itout for you. It's like so sick.
So on Friday, did uh that, got to the place around like
probably four Mason Food, did abunch of writing, went to bed fairly

(01:55):
early. However, the stars wereout. Man, it kind of looked
like, because I'm so secluded whereI go, it just looks like somebody
drop glitter. I'm black fabric,you know what I mean? This looks
so good. Saturday went to towna little bit, got some some gifts
for my friends in the show.That's always a fun thing, like the

(02:16):
little like boutiques if you will,to give some stuff. That was fun.
And then Sunday again did some ofmy writing got back. I guess
all this to say, you know, the main reason for going was to
work on stuff these upcoming shows,and I got really excited. You know,
it's a funny thing about what youI'll write stuff throughout the year,

(02:38):
like on my notepad, my phone, and then just kind of like you
know, by the time it becomestime to announce the show. Is what
a great sentence that was? Seewhat I got? And I was very
excited about what I have for theseshows, like a lot of stuff that
I'm my toughest critic, Like nothingever quite seems good enough for me,

(02:58):
whether it's the radio show or coachingor the podcast, nothing ever is quite
good enough. But this stuff's reallygood. He got me very excited.
I also spend time too chasing Chewiedown, this doucheer like he is.
You know, he's obviously older,he's fifteen, and I think he plays

(03:20):
into that where it's like he's notas clueless as he wants me to think.
But like he'lld just like kind oflook off in distance and take off
running. I'm like, where doyou think you're going, sir? Where?
But at least now with him havingthe the apple tags on them,
I'm like as worried about it.But like Skittles found this giant like bouncy

(03:43):
ball thing that he was chasing.And then like in the woods, like
I keep a closer eye on Chewybecause a hawk comes, it's probably over
for the hawk because Chew you'll kickhis ass, you know what I mean.
But it was a great weekend.It was good to get away and
I did too. I want tomention this. I separated my clothes in
my suitcase. Got a lot oftrouble for that. A couple of weeks

(04:06):
ago, separated the dirty clothes andclean clothes. Problem solved. The shows
are coming up, so July twentiethArlington Draft House low ticket alerts. That's
July twentieth, Arlington Draft House,Low ticket alerts. August seventeenth, rams
Head Live. We've not been aram sead in cool three or four years

(04:28):
something like that. Tickets to boththese shows started about twenty bucks. Benefits
the Fisherrousse Foundation, Great for anight out, great for a night with
a girlfriends whatever. Internjoncomedy dot com, I cannot waits see you there one
second for water break. I wantto get to this too for your Monday.
The signs your the toxic one inthe relationship. Oh boy, oh

(04:53):
boy, could be work, couldbe romantical, whatever it is. If
you struggle to apologize sincerely, theysay, he's saying I'm sorry, it's
easy, but truly meaning it isanother story. If you find yourself offering
half hearted apologies or making excuses forbehavior, it might be a sign and
not take your responsibility. Yeah,I would add if you if you say

(05:15):
sorry and expect the other person tofeel better instantly, He's say I'm sorry
and like their feelings are so hurt. But I said I'm sorry. It's
like, yeah, you know,it takes time, Bro, takes time
to get on that. If youfeel like the victim, they say,
even when you're clearly in the wrong, do you find yourself twisting narrative to

(05:35):
paint yourself as the one who's beingwronged. I think everybody has dealt with
somebody like that, where it's likeI've always said this, the world does
not care enough about one person togo out and ruin their day, even
me. If I'm having a badday, I'm like, man, the
world's out to get me. It'slike, no, John, the world

(05:56):
doesn't care enough about you to goout and do something. You know what
I mean? Not how that works. If you hold grudges for extended periods.
They say, everyone gets upset fromtime to time. But if your
harboring resentment over past hurts for weeks, months, even years, it's around
flag. Holding on the grudges poisonsyour relationships and prevents you from moving forward.

(06:17):
I would just add to that.When you hold a grudge, the
person you're holding it against, ifthey don't know you're having a grudge,
you mean you're really it's really wastedenergy. The person that you are mad
at and you know want revenge onis just living their life and they have
no idea that is not worth it. Let see, you have difficulty setting

(06:40):
healthy boundaries? They say, doyou feel responsible for other people's emotions or
allow them to overset your personal limits? Difficulty setting boundaries can lead to resentment,
burnout, and unhealthy dynamics in yourrelationships. Makes sense, by the
way, it's just me or it'slike dry in the studio. I feel
like I'm swallowing Sandpaya, our allergyis still happening. Is that what this

(07:02):
is? My goodness, dude,I've been hydrated, but it just feels
like the top of my mouth isfull on sandpaper. My goodness. You're
always trying to fix people while wantinghelp others is admirable. Constantly trying to
fix their problems or change their personalitycan be suffocating. It's important to accept
people for who they are. Yeah, I think is at that point you're

(07:25):
subtly saying you know what's better forthem than they do, like you know
it's best you figured it out.Yeah, that's gonna be a little bit
toxic. You know, you're theenlightened one. You dismiss others feelings and
say when someone expresses their emotions,do you minimize their concerns or tell them
they're overreacting. Invaliding others feelings isa surefire way to make them feel unheard

(07:48):
or unimportant. Yeah. I wouldalso say too that that's a big gaslighting.
If somebody comes to you and theysay something's making them feel a certain
way and you tell them that's notthe case. That falls into gas lighting,
which would be toxic. Uh.You're always the center of attention,
they say, denominate conversations, interruptothers, or see every discussion back to

(08:11):
yourself. This self centered behavior canlead others feeling ignored and unimportant in your
presence. I think that's fair too. If you're the one it's like even
if it's somebody else's day or gearedto them, like you can't let them
have it. Like you see folksall the time where it's like this somebody's
wedding and they wear now if itlike upstages the bride and groom, and

(08:33):
it's like, what do you?What are we trying to do? If
you struggle and take responsibility for yourmistakes, this to me is one of
the biggest ones and one of themost obvious ones. Nobody's perfect, but
owning up to your mistakes is acrucial part of personal growth. If you
deflect, blame, make excuses,or if you use acknowledge when you're wrong,

(08:56):
it creates a toxic dynamic in yourrelationship. I would just kind of
say too, Once people in yourlife know you can'tmit when you're wrong,
it's almost like it's over like oncethey know like, oh, they're not
gonna take it seriously, they're notgonna own up to their own stuff.
Like to me, like that kindof changes everything where it's like I won't
even try to have serious conversations withpeople, do you know what I mean?

(09:18):
Like if I know it's not worthmy time because it's not gonna get
a result, then it's like whyeven go on? I thought these were
good. Listen. I'd love tosee if the comedy shows bring a friend,
bring a neighbor, bring whoever,raise the money for Fisherrasse Foundation.
July twentieth, Arlington Draft House.August seventeenth, Ram said, live in
Baltimore, grab your tickets, internshipon comedy dot com. We'll see you

(09:43):
next time.