You're Too Nice - 1004

On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about his paretns coming into town, and how to know if you're too nice!

Intern John's FROM SCRATCH on sale now! 
8/17 Rams Head LIVE, Baltimore

 InternJohnComedy.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a Happy Wednesday. Friend.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Welcome to the Thoughts Shower. Intern John is my name.
It's about to be a week. It is about to
be a week. My parents land today and then I
think tonight the plans hopefully do nothing, which is good.
Like the plan, I think, hopefully watch some docs, get

(00:22):
settled and do nothing because the real fun starts tomorrow.
We have the award banquet for the Best of Baltimore.
This year podcast getting an award. It's very exciting. My
dad was asking me what to wear, and I asked
the awards and they sent me a Pinterest of ideas

(00:43):
and I was like, this is the first time I've
been sent to Pinterest for things to wear. It's summer chic.
And I can be honest with you. I don't know
if I've ever been told address code where I go, Oh,
I know exactly what that means. I don't know that's
ever happened where they're like, hey, it's this I go.

(01:05):
That makes all the sense in the world. I know
what to do, and it's not on the other people.
It's on me. I just never know. I was in
a wedding at a wedding in May, black tie affair
and That was interesting because nobody quite knew what that meant.
Like everybody I asked had a different opinion of what

(01:29):
black tie meant. Some thought it was, uh black tie
black shirt. Some thought it was a black shirt, but
you could wear a different tie. Then it turns out
I just wore all black, you know what I mean.
But I'm excited for that Friday O's game, which is
my dad's always talked about going to an O's game.
Kind of works out of playing the Red Sox that

(01:49):
was his favorite team. Then on Saturday, rams Head Live
we wrap up the tour, which is crazy, and hopefully
next week my restaurant I'm a part of his open
So we are a lot going on. Friend, we are
a lot going on. It's it's a good a lot
going on though, as we kind of get ready to wrap
up summer. You know, this has been like the lull

(02:11):
of my life where I have like a little bit
of free time, a little bit of time to do
what I want to do and relax.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
That's coming to an end.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Hockey starts here in Golly probably like a month restaurant opening.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
You know, we're grinding, but it's a good thing. It's funny.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Because I was talking to somebody recently about just life
and like being busy, and they asked like, if I
enjoyed I was like, yeah, dude, if I didn't enjoy
doing all this stuff, I wouldn't be able to do it,
you know, if it But it's because I like doing
this stuff so much that I don't mind stacking the
plate a little bit, probably sometimes more than I should,

(02:56):
because I truly enjoy doing all this stuff. I wake up,
I mean, the firstart when I wake up, it's it's
never excitement. That first initial thought is always like what
would it be like to keep sleeping? You know, my
alarm went off at two forty five this morning. I
was like, what would be like if I got another
four hours? And then after I get past that initial feeling,

(03:19):
then it's kind of like, Okay, we're good. It's gonna
be a fun day. We're gonna talk on the show,
We're gonna have some fun, We're gonna do this, this
and this. So yeah, anyway, here we are. Hope you
having a great Wednesday. Limited tickets left for the show
on Saturday. The Bogo deal is still happening, so if
you're thinking about going to the show, now it's time
to get tickets. The lower deck is basically all sold out.

(03:42):
I'd say there's maybe fifteen pairs left. Maybe grab yours
Internshooncomedy dot com that is Internjooncomedy dot Com. I want
to get to this for your Wednesday. Things that happen
when you're too nice for your own good. Now I
think that I'm the past had been this. I've been

(04:03):
too nice and it's not necessarily worked out for the
best main reason being their number one reason. People might
take advantage of you when you're excessively nice. There's a
risk some people may see this as an opportunity to
take advantage of your kindness. They ask them our favorite
time or resources than they would from others. I have

(04:23):
noticed this before with people from my past, where because
I was so nice in trying to make their life
easier or make them more comfortable with things, they kept
taking and taking and taking. And I realized it was
a problem with these people when I started to pull
back and focus on me, and then they realized the

(04:45):
attension wasn't all on them. It was like everything changed,
you know, the vibe changed.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Interesting, because I'm asking you to be also a decent person.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
This is what it's saying. Happening makes sense.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
If you never feel like you can't disagree with anyone
or anything they saying. Beings nice often means avoiding conflict
at all costs. Do not do that, Do not do that.
Listen is conflict the greatest No, But I would rather
have a little bit of conflict and be happy than
not say anything and just kind of walk around being

(05:25):
silently miserable, if that makes sense, silently feeling like you've
been taken advantage of, Like at least stand out for yourself.
If you feel way more stressed and are more prone
to burnout, this makes sense. If you're constantly trying to
be nice and please everyone can be exhausting. The effort
to always be agreeable and accommodating can lead to increased stress,

(05:46):
even burnout. You might find yourself feeling drained emotionally and physically. Yeah,
I mean kind of obvious because you're putting somebody else's
needs before your own. It's almost like you're making yourself
that personal like assistant, Like you're sacrificing your feelings, what
you feel is right, what you want to do to

(06:08):
make somebody else happy, and the worst part is I
think in most these cases, you go over the top
because that person isn't giving you the same back. It's
almost like in your mind you trick yourself, like if
I just give them more of me, then they'll give
some back. And it never quite happens that way. If

(06:28):
you tend to give way more than you get when
you're overly nice, there's a risk of attracting people who
are more interested in what you can do for them
than a genuine two way relationship one hundred percent. They
can be drawn to your willingness to put others first,
seen as the opportunity for relationship where they don't have
to contribute much. That's a huge part because if you're

(06:49):
being so nice and you're being so genuine, yeah, I
think in the back of their mind like this is great,
I'm gonna get so much out of this relationship, and
yet I don't have to nearly half as much because
this person is so overly invested. They're one hundred and
fifty percent makes up from my fifty percent, and we

(07:09):
still get a hole, you know what I mean. I
think that's a huge, huge thing that happens. Ah, it
makes me feel so ishy. You know if you struggle
set boundaries. They say excessive niceness often comes with difficulty
in setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. You might find it
hard to say no even when requests some others infringe

(07:29):
in your time, energy, or comfort. I've gotten better at
this in recent years of saying no, whereas in the
past I would say us anything and basically find myself
burned out and that's not fun. It would get bad,
but I would realize like I'd be burned out in
the beginning of the year, you know, not even like

(07:51):
a November December burnout where it's like, okay, yeah, we're
close to the finish line. Is this ideal? No, but
at least we're close and we have a break coming up.
Why I was feeling burnout in like March or April.
I was like, dude, this is this is gonna be
a rough go because we still got eight months left
of the year. You know, your opinions and preferences may

(08:15):
be overlooked one hundred percent. If you're constantly prioritizing others'
needs and opinions over your own, there's a chance your
preferences and ideas may be overlooked or disregarded. Yeah, I
think again, even if it's not in a malicious way,
the other person knows they can get their way because
they know you won't say anything. And I think there's

(08:37):
people who take advantage of this and again in a
very manipulative way where they are intentionally doing this. Then
I think there's people who subtly know, like I know,
if I make this decision, they won't push back.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
And that's not a place to be in. You know.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Again, life's too short. Yeah, stand up for yourself. Be
nice certainly, right, be nice certainly. But if you feel
like it's only a one way street, I mean at
that point, you're doing charity.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
That was deep, dude, that was deep. All right?

Speaker 2 (09:10):
Hell yeah, if you're being nice and it's only going
one way, you are doing charity. Friendship shnap, be charity,
relationships shap charity. It's gotta be a two way street.
You gotta feel value, like you desert. Does somebody do
nice things for you? You deserve to. If somebody look
out for you, somebody to if you're sick, send you
over some soup, something like that. For your birthday, send

(09:33):
me something nice, or if I just because present whatever
it is you deserve that, you know, so, if you
keep watering a plant that's not growing, ditch that plant.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
FAM.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
I don't know if that's how gardening works. I'm pretty
sure it is, But ditch that plant.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
FAM.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
The last or many tickets for the show this Saturday,
Internsjooncomedy dot com. Ram said, live the finale, my intern
John's from Scratch Tour intern John Comedy.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
I come