September 23, 2024 • 10 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks his second wedding of the year. Plus, the questions a manipulator will ask!
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And Happy Monday friends. Welcome to thought Shower. Intern John
is my name. It was a weekend again. I know
that's become a thing. I don't like it either. Here
we are happy Monday. My weekend was. It was a
lot this weekend very cool. Is my second wedding of
(00:21):
the year. My good friend Buster, who does radio in Philly,
got married. We got married in the summer, but they
had the reception here while I'm here in Sea Isle,
New Jersey, and it was awesome. So I've never been
to New Jersey. I mean, I guess I've been to
Newark for a concert, but like that's not really Jersey.
(00:43):
That was like the hotel was by the arena, and
so we went to the concert. This is my first
time in like Jersey Jersey, and I didn't know what
to expect. Never really been to a Jersey shore before.
I have been to a beach before, yes, been to
the ocean before, but not like the proper like Jersey
(01:03):
shore town areas. I didn't really know what to expect.
Was about a three hour drive, meat chewing and skittles.
Went to the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
We got there.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Didn't realize New Jersey has a no bag policy where
they don't give you bags the grocery store. Feel like
that should be on the sign, like when you walk in,
you know what I mean, because that would like affect
everything you get, literally everything you get would be affected
by oh, can you get bags here? It worked out
(01:34):
only a couple of things. But we were in Sea Isle,
New Jersey. If you'd never been to me, it was
really cool. Like growing up in Minnesota, we don't have
shore towns obviously, so was kind of cool. Like you
go over this bridge and like you're in like a
beach town, a bunch of seafood places, ice cream parlor,
like you know, shorehouses as they call them, ran the
(01:56):
kind of surround by the water.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It was very cool.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
The place that the nice sabe felt Jersey short like,
and that it was above like a rental place with
great view of the water. Friday a lot of fun.
It was like the pre wedding party, which I don't
necessarily do well with those things if I don't know people,
and like me doing the wedding solo, it was a
(02:21):
little bit of like, Okay, who am I gonna know? Well,
will I have friends there?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
You know?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
So on and so forth. Proud myself went by, myself,
saw a buster who was the groom. Then one of
our other radio friends, Drew joined, and then just kind
of made friends there with everybody. I think it did
help that he's also a mid Western guy Michigan, and
his family and his best friend Midwestern guys, and so
(02:49):
we all kind of just vibe together and it was
a lot of fun. So that that was the first
night I posted a video of me singing the climb
Miley Cyrus on Instagram because he can't not dude, life
is about the cl b.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I've always said that. I've always believed that, but that's
when I first.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Realized that shore towns are money laundering schemes because everything
is cash only. Everything's cash and uh. It was funny
because we're at one bar, I pull up my card
to pay and the guy goes, you know, we're cash only, right,
I was like, well, obviously I don't if I'm pulling
the card out, but everything there was cash only, Like, hey, respect,
(03:28):
you know who am I to judge. I also went
to this seafood place, I think it's called Mike's Seafood.
I went there twice. Man they had One time I
got stuff lobster. The other time I got lobster and
crab legs and it was like forty bucks each time.
Crazy crazy, excuse me, crazy good. So did that. Saturday
was the actual reception. That was a lot of fun.
(03:49):
They did it right, man. So they had they rented
out this like I were like a bar an event space,
and they had like the hoar d'eures, if you will,
was a bunch of like, uh, you know, scallops and
seafood and stuff. And then they had food trucks. So
food trucks. They had tacos, they had pizza, they had burgers,
(04:10):
and then there was an oyster station as well, very
well done. At the end night, the ice cream man came,
so it's kind of like and also pretzels, hot pretzels. Dude,
you can't beat it, you really can't. So it was
a great wedding. I had a lot of fun. It
was again my second wedding of the year. My first
wedding was in la for my friend's Sarah and Evan.
(04:30):
There was this wedding. I have one more coming up
in CanCon baby, So three weddings is a bit ironic
that the year I become single, I go to the
most weddings have ever gone to my entire life.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
That's not lost on me.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I will say, I think it's got me on my
shell a little bit, just because you know, I thought
it was ever really in a shell. But it's a
different experience going to wedding with somebody. You have somebody
you can hang out with, your your you know, somebody
you can talk to you, versus like going by yourself.
And then it's like I got a you know, fend
for myself. I have to go search out conversations, you know.
(05:09):
But it was a lot of I'm always great seeing
radio friends. A good friend, Brody who goes radio in Tampa.
Great time, habil. They went to the Caps game last night.
Now here we are again, you know, busy week ahead
as well, but hey, we're gonna do it together.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Friend.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Let me get to this for you Monday. The questions
only manipulative people will ask you. I was going through
these and a lie of gaslighting, lit to try to
mess with your emotions, like the first one, if they say,
don't you trust me? When ay manipulator faces scrutiny, they
(05:46):
don't address the problem head on.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
They attack your character.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
This flips the script, casting doubt on your trust rather
than justifying their actions. Yeah, that's one of those things
where it's like, if I'm acting this way, I probably
don't trust you, you know what I mean. Yeah, if
I'm acting that way, then I certainly don't trust you.
And that's more of a you thing than me thing.
(06:10):
If they ask why are you so sensitive? Classic gaslighting again,
making it seem like it's it's you, it's not them.
It's like you are sensitive to everything in the world.
Their actions aren't the reason, Like they're not wrong. If
you were just a normal person, their actions wouldn't bother you,
but you're not because you're sensitive.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Hate that. Hate that. If they say what I do
wrong this time?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Uh, they say in the and it frames their wrongdoings
as one time slip ups instead of a pattern of
harmful behavior. They also act baffled by your frustration, positioning
themselves as the victim, implying your nagging. Yeah, because it
is like when that's said, it's like they're throwing up
(06:58):
their hands, like what I do this time? Like I
can never do anything right with you. It's never good enough.
I'm getting like not anger, I'm getting like ill in
my stomach right now. Just just hearing this stuff, you know,
brings back a little bit. If they say, can't you
take a joke? Hate that, hate that somebody's go to
(07:23):
move being called out. They disguise cruelty as lighthearted teasing.
When they hurt your feelings and you tell them loosen up,
they responsibility rest on you in your lack of humor, Yeah,
because it's like you're the one ruining the good time.
I'm just joking around having lols. You are ruining the
(07:44):
good time. If they say something like are you sure
you want to do that? Say it's not an innocent
question but thinly veiled threat. The manipulator uses an overly
concerned tone to instill doubt and undermine your decision making ability.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I get that a lot with sometimes of my decision stuff,
and it's kind of like, yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Or if it's like a situation where it's before you.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Not rat somebody out, but like you know, if you
have an issue at work or with friends, where's like,
are you sure you want to confront this person?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Pretty sure. I've thought about it, and I've thought about
it again about thirty times. If somebody says, why are
you being so defensive? They say that's a manipulator's way
to shut down valid questions or concerns. It implies your
reaction stems of being irrational or being insecure. Agreed. Yeah,
(08:45):
it's like why are you on a defensive? That also
ties into why don't you trust me? Because if you're
defensive around me, that means you don't trust me? Why
is your guard up around me? You should be letting
me in. And I hate the fact that I'm having
to say this fell loud? Do you know what I'm saying?
I got things feel a little bit like icky, Let
(09:06):
you go with a couple more of these. Oh man,
do you even trust yourself?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Damn?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
There it's the ultimate below, aimed destroying yourself assuredness. Instead
of addressing conflict directly, they attack your core of your
judgment and decision making ability. Yeah, it's like you don't
trust me. It's like do you even trust anybody?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Don't?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Don't you trust anybody at all? How is it? It's
not me thing if you don't trust anybody? Oh man,
are you sure you remember that correctly? That's gas lighting,
trying to question your call events, twisting reality to suit
their narrative.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I also hate too when somebody is trying to do.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
This to you and like they'll ask a million questions
before you can answer one. So then it's like you
skip a question because you're it's like you're addressing all
the big accusations, you know, and like you might skip
one because you're trying to remember all of them. It's like, oh,
but you so you agree to this. It's like, no, dude,
I'm trying to go through each line item here.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Anyway, hopefully, if you have somebody who asked these things,
kick the ass to the curb. You deserve better one
hundred and ten percent. You don't deserve somebody who makes
a question yourself, your own sanity, whether that's a relationship,
like a romantic relationship, friendship, family, job, whatever, did you
(10:31):
get a chance to fall along? I appreciate it. At
Internsohn Radio, we'll see a Wednesday
And Happy Monday friends. Welcome to thought Shower. Intern John
is my name. It was a weekend again. I know
that's become a thing. I don't like it either. Here
we are happy Monday. My weekend was. It was a
lot this weekend very cool. Is my second wedding of
(00:21):
the year. My good friend Buster, who does radio in Philly,
got married. We got married in the summer, but they
had the reception here while I'm here in Sea Isle,
New Jersey, and it was awesome. So I've never been
to New Jersey. I mean, I guess I've been to
Newark for a concert, but like that's not really Jersey.
(00:43):
That was like the hotel was by the arena, and
so we went to the concert. This is my first
time in like Jersey Jersey, and I didn't know what
to expect. Never really been to a Jersey shore before.
I have been to a beach before, yes, been to
the ocean before, but not like the proper like Jersey
(01:03):
shore town areas. I didn't really know what to expect.
Was about a three hour drive, meat chewing and skittles.
Went to the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
We got there.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Didn't realize New Jersey has a no bag policy where
they don't give you bags the grocery store. Feel like
that should be on the sign, like when you walk in,
you know what I mean, because that would like affect
everything you get, literally everything you get would be affected
by oh, can you get bags here? It worked out
(01:34):
only a couple of things. But we were in Sea Isle,
New Jersey. If you'd never been to me, it was
really cool. Like growing up in Minnesota, we don't have
shore towns obviously, so was kind of cool. Like you
go over this bridge and like you're in like a
beach town, a bunch of seafood places, ice cream parlor,
like you know, shorehouses as they call them, ran the
(01:56):
kind of surround by the water.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It was very cool.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
The place that the nice sabe felt Jersey short like,
and that it was above like a rental place with
great view of the water. Friday a lot of fun.
It was like the pre wedding party, which I don't
necessarily do well with those things if I don't know people,
and like me doing the wedding solo, it was a
(02:21):
little bit of like, Okay, who am I gonna know? Well,
will I have friends there?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
You know?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
So on and so forth. Proud myself went by, myself,
saw a buster who was the groom. Then one of
our other radio friends, Drew joined, and then just kind
of made friends there with everybody. I think it did
help that he's also a mid Western guy Michigan, and
his family and his best friend Midwestern guys, and so
(02:49):
we all kind of just vibe together and it was
a lot of fun. So that that was the first
night I posted a video of me singing the climb
Miley Cyrus on Instagram because he can't not dude, life
is about the cl b.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I've always said that. I've always believed that, but that's
when I first.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Realized that shore towns are money laundering schemes because everything
is cash only. Everything's cash and uh. It was funny
because we're at one bar, I pull up my card
to pay and the guy goes, you know, we're cash only, right,
I was like, well, obviously I don't if I'm pulling
the card out, but everything there was cash only, Like, hey, respect,
(03:28):
you know who am I to judge. I also went
to this seafood place, I think it's called Mike's Seafood.
I went there twice. Man they had One time I
got stuff lobster. The other time I got lobster and
crab legs and it was like forty bucks each time.
Crazy crazy, excuse me, crazy good. So did that. Saturday
was the actual reception. That was a lot of fun.
(03:49):
They did it right, man. So they had they rented
out this like I were like a bar an event space,
and they had like the hoar d'eures, if you will,
was a bunch of like, uh, you know, scallops and
seafood and stuff. And then they had food trucks. So
food trucks. They had tacos, they had pizza, they had burgers,
(04:10):
and then there was an oyster station as well, very
well done. At the end night, the ice cream man came,
so it's kind of like and also pretzels, hot pretzels. Dude,
you can't beat it, you really can't. So it was
a great wedding. I had a lot of fun. It
was again my second wedding of the year. My first
wedding was in la for my friend's Sarah and Evan.
(04:30):
There was this wedding. I have one more coming up
in CanCon baby, So three weddings is a bit ironic
that the year I become single, I go to the
most weddings have ever gone to my entire life.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
That's not lost on me.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I will say, I think it's got me on my
shell a little bit, just because you know, I thought
it was ever really in a shell. But it's a
different experience going to wedding with somebody. You have somebody
you can hang out with, your your you know, somebody
you can talk to you, versus like going by yourself.
And then it's like I got a you know, fend
for myself. I have to go search out conversations, you know.
(05:09):
But it was a lot of I'm always great seeing
radio friends. A good friend, Brody who goes radio in Tampa.
Great time, habil. They went to the Caps game last night.
Now here we are again, you know, busy week ahead
as well, but hey, we're gonna do it together.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Friend.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Let me get to this for you Monday. The questions
only manipulative people will ask you. I was going through
these and a lie of gaslighting, lit to try to
mess with your emotions, like the first one, if they say,
don't you trust me? When ay manipulator faces scrutiny, they
(05:46):
don't address the problem head on.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
They attack your character.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
This flips the script, casting doubt on your trust rather
than justifying their actions. Yeah, that's one of those things
where it's like, if I'm acting this way, I probably
don't trust you, you know what I mean. Yeah, if
I'm acting that way, then I certainly don't trust you.
And that's more of a you thing than me thing.
(06:10):
If they ask why are you so sensitive? Classic gaslighting again,
making it seem like it's it's you, it's not them.
It's like you are sensitive to everything in the world.
Their actions aren't the reason, Like they're not wrong. If
you were just a normal person, their actions wouldn't bother you,
but you're not because you're sensitive.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Hate that. Hate that. If they say what I do
wrong this time?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Uh, they say in the and it frames their wrongdoings
as one time slip ups instead of a pattern of
harmful behavior. They also act baffled by your frustration, positioning
themselves as the victim, implying your nagging. Yeah, because it
is like when that's said, it's like they're throwing up
(06:58):
their hands, like what I do this time? Like I
can never do anything right with you. It's never good enough.
I'm getting like not anger, I'm getting like ill in
my stomach right now. Just just hearing this stuff, you know,
brings back a little bit. If they say, can't you
take a joke? Hate that, hate that somebody's go to
(07:23):
move being called out. They disguise cruelty as lighthearted teasing.
When they hurt your feelings and you tell them loosen up,
they responsibility rest on you in your lack of humor, Yeah,
because it's like you're the one ruining the good time.
I'm just joking around having lols. You are ruining the
(07:44):
good time. If they say something like are you sure
you want to do that? Say it's not an innocent
question but thinly veiled threat. The manipulator uses an overly
concerned tone to instill doubt and undermine your decision making ability.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I get that a lot with sometimes of my decision stuff,
and it's kind of like, yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Or if it's like a situation where it's before you.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Not rat somebody out, but like you know, if you
have an issue at work or with friends, where's like,
are you sure you want to confront this person?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Pretty sure. I've thought about it, and I've thought about
it again about thirty times. If somebody says, why are
you being so defensive? They say that's a manipulator's way
to shut down valid questions or concerns. It implies your
reaction stems of being irrational or being insecure. Agreed. Yeah,
(08:45):
it's like why are you on a defensive? That also
ties into why don't you trust me? Because if you're
defensive around me, that means you don't trust me? Why
is your guard up around me? You should be letting
me in. And I hate the fact that I'm having
to say this fell loud? Do you know what I'm saying?
I got things feel a little bit like icky, Let
(09:06):
you go with a couple more of these. Oh man,
do you even trust yourself?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Damn?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
There it's the ultimate below, aimed destroying yourself assuredness. Instead
of addressing conflict directly, they attack your core of your
judgment and decision making ability. Yeah, it's like you don't
trust me. It's like do you even trust anybody?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Don't?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Don't you trust anybody at all? How is it? It's
not me thing if you don't trust anybody? Oh man,
are you sure you remember that correctly? That's gas lighting,
trying to question your call events, twisting reality to suit
their narrative.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I also hate too when somebody is trying to do.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
This to you and like they'll ask a million questions
before you can answer one. So then it's like you
skip a question because you're it's like you're addressing all
the big accusations, you know, and like you might skip
one because you're trying to remember all of them. It's like, oh,
but you so you agree to this. It's like, no, dude,
I'm trying to go through each line item here.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Anyway, hopefully, if you have somebody who asked these things,
kick the ass to the curb. You deserve better one
hundred and ten percent. You don't deserve somebody who makes
a question yourself, your own sanity, whether that's a relationship,
like a romantic relationship, friendship, family, job, whatever, did you
(10:31):
get a chance to fall along? I appreciate it. At
Internsohn Radio, we'll see a Wednesday
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