September 30, 2024 • 11 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks what NOT to say to someone who just went through a breakup!
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Monday friend. Welcome to the Thought Shower.
Back from the original Thought Shower Studio. Well, I guess
not the original, the second one, the pandemic Thought Shower Studio.
That's why it sounds a little echoey. Long story short,
I had the sound proofing up, but then well then
I had to repaint this room because there was water damage.
(00:21):
So that kind of happened. But now here we are.
We're back, and I know I promised I had an
announcement for you guys, and the crappy thing is I
have to push the actual announced date to next week. However,
I was thinking about it now, I was like, oh,
I've already like teased everybody so much. I've already you know,
I got so many dms and texts about the last
(00:43):
podcast that I'm like, I might as well as tell
you guys now you'll still know first. So I am.
I'm very excited for this. It's a it's a nerve
racking change. Isn't the word, but it's a nerve racking
I don't know what the word is. It's a nerve
wracking venture. Maybe that's what it is. So I'm gonna
(01:06):
announce this next week. I think next Monday. But I
am going to release a comedy album, which I'm very
excited about. So we we've done the comedy tours obviously
the last couple of years raise over one hundred thousand
dollars the Fish Rouse Foundation, one of the highest ray
of military charities on the planet. And you know, I
(01:29):
had the idea, you know this this year was not
supposed to happen tour wise. I was supposed to kind
of take a year off and you know rest, I
guess that's what they call it. Then. Obviously, going through
the breakup and that type of thing, was like, all right,
I need to find a way to channel my feelings
or what. But I was like, I'll do We'll do
(01:51):
a residency basically in Arlington. We'll do a show in Baltimore,
but I want to record the shows in Arlington to
put out an album. Now. Unfortunately, I was as sick
as a dog at those Arlington shows. So for like
that whole week, I had like the worst food poison
ever where it was like legitimately every ten minutes running
to the bathroom. It wasn't good. And so those Friday
(02:13):
and Saturday shows in Arlington, I was like I thought
I was on death stoor, like I was so just
out of it and like I would lay down until
like thirty seconds before it was time to go on
stage and then go on stage and do it, which
in a way was kind of poetics the word. But
it was like, all right, this is kind of like
the Jordan flu game. You know, Michael Jordan allectedly had
(02:35):
the flu in like Game six to the NBA Finals,
played in the Cay's Best Game. Had a really good show,
and so the album is gonna be the Arlington show
from this year. And there's also some bonus stuff on
the album that was not at the shows, including one
of my most favorite things that I've ever done is
the Showy and Skittles song, which I wrote that song
(02:57):
originally he must have been four years ago, because I
wanted to have something like when Chewey one day is gone,
there's some that can have to like listen to remember
him and that type of thing, and it became like
one of my most favorite things we did. Yeah, I
didn't do him on the tour this year because it
was just a lot for the dogs. So anyway, again
(03:19):
announced the album next week the release date. Where to
get it. And the beauty of this is to the
money's going to the Fisher House. If you don't know
Fisher House, they build like houses on military basis, so
if somebody from the military is needing surgery or medical care,
they fly their family out, make sure their family can
stay on base and be there with them. And they
(03:40):
cover the hotel that I mean, they'll cover hotel because
it's it's where you stay, so you have to worry
about hotel. They cover airfare, there's food, and like it's
important this time of year too because Fisher House also
make sure Santon knows where to go because obviously you
know Santa busy guy this time of year, so Fisher
House make sure Santon knows where to go. So it's
a perfect time for to raise more money for them.
(04:01):
So the album sales is gonna benefit Fisherouse Foundation, which
I'm very excited about. I don't know, it's it's a
nerve wracking thing, dude. It's when you write stuff like this,
when you write jokes, it's a lot of Especially this
last tour was a very personal thing to where it
felt very therapeutic to get the ideas out and to
(04:24):
get the jokes out. However, it's a nerve wracking thing
to then present that stuff to an audience, to like,
have my thoughts, have my feelings, and present that to
an audience. So that was a nerve wracking part of that.
And now this side of it. I've never released an
album before, I've never put this stuff out for the
(04:45):
world to hear. So it's a very nerve wracking thing.
It's a very I'm gonna put like so much of yourself,
your personal self out there for the world to judge
and to hear. It's it's a lot, especially when it's
not necessarily the fun parts, you know what I mean.
I mean, so I'm nervous. I think that it's going
to hopefully do a lot of good, especially for the
Fisher House and for folks too who are maybe just
(05:07):
needing a little bit of a laugh and lol. Maybe
couldn't make the tour this year or previous years. Now
you can. Now you can listen wherever. So I want
to tell you guys, first, I've been I've been working
on the actually adding this thing for it feels like
weeks and just going back and forth and changing things
and doing that. There's a lot that goes into it,
(05:29):
but I'm excited, so it should be next Monday is
the announce of more info in the release than as well,
but because because of my thoughts, you guys get to
know first, so I appreciate it. I'll have more in
a week or so, but yeah, I just want to
let you guys know that's what's coming. I want to
get to this too for your Monday. The things you
should never say somebody going through a breakup, which is
(05:51):
kind of funny because I talked about this stuff in
the comedy tour because my breakup a little bit different
when you're in the somewhat public sphere where it feels
like everybody kind of knows what's going on. So I
wanted to get through these starting with you'll find somebody better. Yeah,
they say right now, they probably can't imagine anyone ever again,
(06:12):
so this comment ignores the pain and makes them feel
like their X is replaceable. I do think that's true.
I understand like the thought behind it because it is
like too and I do think like in the end,
everybody finds their person. That's so I want to believe.
But yeah, when I was going through it's like, yeah,
but you know, right now, don't feel that there is
anything better, you know what I mean, just because of like,
(06:33):
especially to a breakup, it doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't
necessarily a bad breakup. It makes it almost even like harder,
you know what I mean. It's harder to to hear like, oh,
you'll find some better. It's like, nah, we were we
were good, dude, they say it's for the best. Yeah,
I mean that's another one where it's like, uh, I
don't want to hear that right now, you know, that's
(06:56):
just like no, thank you. Yeah, I mean I do
feel like that's like when somebody's going through like a
loss in their family, it's like, oh, it's all part
of the plant's like, yeah, no, it's not the time though.
You know if they say at least he didn't get
married or have kids with them, bruh, bruh. Yeah, they
say minimizing their breakup by comparing to something worse is
(07:19):
not helpful one hundred percent. Yeah. Like I get I understand,
like the the thought behind it where it's like you're
trying to find like the the positive in it, But
that's hard dude. If he tells somebody there's plenty of
fish in the sea again. Not really the time you
want to hear it, you know, maybe a couple of
weeks after. But yeah, if somebody who told me that
(07:41):
but I don't want to know, or they say this
is something Eric would say I never looked them anyway,
although he didn't, which was surprising. This is interesting. I've
mentioned this before my last breakup. People were sad. Dude.
In previous times I mentioned this, like when I did
the on air breakup. Previous breakouts, my friends were happy,
They're like, okay, thank god. This one people were like
(08:01):
a little bit like, oh, are you okay. Yeah. If
somebody said to me I never liked them anyway, I
would be like, okay, you know, don't need to don't
need to hear that. Thanks. If somebody says time heals
all wounds, do it again, that is the worst. I
told this story on stage, but I was out and
this guy who is trying to make me feel better
said like, hey man, and they're going through a breakup.
(08:22):
I'm Mike, yeah, he goes, I know exactly what you're
going through. I'm like, oh really, and he goes, no, actually,
me and my wife been together for twenty years. I
was like Okay, so you don't know anything about what
I'm going through. And I appreciate he was trying to
be nice. I understand that, but I was like, dude,
come on, man, that's not gonna be helpful. Man. If
somebody says you need a distraction, they said maybe eventually,
(08:43):
but in the early days they need to find their feelings.
Forcing distractions can feel like an attempt to sweep their
pain under the rug. I do think the distraction thing
also is a bit of a I don't even know misdirection,
cause it is like, yes, you should not just sit
at home all day feeling sad. You should do things
that you like to do tet your mind off of it. However,
(09:05):
you still have to deal with those feelings. You still
have to deal with the hurt, with the pain, whatever,
like distracting yourself from because I've done that before in past,
past relationships. Just try to distract myself from like the
pain and go out. But it's like that ghost is
still gonna be there, you know what I mean. If
you don't deal with the actual pains, you don't deal
what you're going through. Eventually, there's gonna be a moment
(09:27):
where the distraction stops and it hits you like, oh,
I'm still going through this and that's tough. Kind of
goes with that you should just go out and have fun.
It's like, yeah, sure, they say, forcing them to fake
happiness doesn't allow them to fully work through their grief.
They say, offered to join them for a chill night instead.
I think that's fun, like a nice night I mean
(09:47):
my buddy's and not at the show. We went and
got drinks afterwards, and it wasn't like forcing me to
be like happy right away. It was like a nice
easing back into things. I think that's the best. I
think the best thing you can do when somebody's going
through a breakup just be there for them, especially because
again my situation, dude, is embarrassing, Like it's embarrassing to
in the public public specter. That's not right. I don't know.
(10:09):
I can't think today in the public arena to have
to go in front of you know, we have a
million some listeners in d C and Baltimore and be like, hey,
my relationship failed. Not the most thrilling thing to do.
Kind of a buzzkill soda is kind of like having
somebody there to survivee with maybe not even talk about it,
just to sit there and relax with that's clutch or
my case, you release an album which again it's uh,
(10:32):
I'm excited for you guys to hear it. I'm very
proud of it. It's funny listening back to it because
my mind, like my mind's kind of broken into sections.
There's the morning show, there's a podcast, comedy hockey, now
the restaurant opening, so like, I, you know, I don't
remember the jokes. I go on stage and I forgot
the jokes for the show. Until I heard the album again.
I was like, Okay, these are really good. So I'm
(10:53):
excited for you guys to hear it. You the first
ones know about it, so please act surprise next Monday.
We'll see a Wednesday stash Ower
And a happy Monday friend. Welcome to the Thought Shower.
Back from the original Thought Shower Studio. Well, I guess
not the original, the second one, the pandemic Thought Shower Studio.
That's why it sounds a little echoey. Long story short,
I had the sound proofing up, but then well then
I had to repaint this room because there was water damage.
(00:21):
So that kind of happened. But now here we are.
We're back, and I know I promised I had an
announcement for you guys, and the crappy thing is I
have to push the actual announced date to next week. However,
I was thinking about it now, I was like, oh,
I've already like teased everybody so much. I've already you know,
I got so many dms and texts about the last
(00:43):
podcast that I'm like, I might as well as tell
you guys now you'll still know first. So I am.
I'm very excited for this. It's a it's a nerve
racking change. Isn't the word, but it's a nerve racking
I don't know what the word is. It's a nerve
wracking venture. Maybe that's what it is. So I'm gonna
(01:06):
announce this next week. I think next Monday. But I
am going to release a comedy album, which I'm very
excited about. So we we've done the comedy tours obviously
the last couple of years raise over one hundred thousand
dollars the Fish Rouse Foundation, one of the highest ray
of military charities on the planet. And you know, I
(01:29):
had the idea, you know this this year was not
supposed to happen tour wise. I was supposed to kind
of take a year off and you know rest, I
guess that's what they call it. Then. Obviously, going through
the breakup and that type of thing, was like, all right,
I need to find a way to channel my feelings
or what. But I was like, I'll do We'll do
(01:51):
a residency basically in Arlington. We'll do a show in Baltimore,
but I want to record the shows in Arlington to
put out an album. Now. Unfortunately, I was as sick
as a dog at those Arlington shows. So for like
that whole week, I had like the worst food poison
ever where it was like legitimately every ten minutes running
to the bathroom. It wasn't good. And so those Friday
(02:13):
and Saturday shows in Arlington, I was like I thought
I was on death stoor, like I was so just
out of it and like I would lay down until
like thirty seconds before it was time to go on
stage and then go on stage and do it, which
in a way was kind of poetics the word. But
it was like, all right, this is kind of like
the Jordan flu game. You know, Michael Jordan allectedly had
(02:35):
the flu in like Game six to the NBA Finals,
played in the Cay's Best Game. Had a really good show,
and so the album is gonna be the Arlington show
from this year. And there's also some bonus stuff on
the album that was not at the shows, including one
of my most favorite things that I've ever done is
the Showy and Skittles song, which I wrote that song
(02:57):
originally he must have been four years ago, because I
wanted to have something like when Chewey one day is gone,
there's some that can have to like listen to remember
him and that type of thing, and it became like
one of my most favorite things we did. Yeah, I
didn't do him on the tour this year because it
was just a lot for the dogs. So anyway, again
(03:19):
announced the album next week the release date. Where to
get it. And the beauty of this is to the
money's going to the Fisher House. If you don't know
Fisher House, they build like houses on military basis, so
if somebody from the military is needing surgery or medical care,
they fly their family out, make sure their family can
stay on base and be there with them. And they
(03:40):
cover the hotel that I mean, they'll cover hotel because
it's it's where you stay, so you have to worry
about hotel. They cover airfare, there's food, and like it's
important this time of year too because Fisher House also
make sure Santon knows where to go because obviously you
know Santa busy guy this time of year, so Fisher
House make sure Santon knows where to go. So it's
a perfect time for to raise more money for them.
(04:01):
So the album sales is gonna benefit Fisherouse Foundation, which
I'm very excited about. I don't know, it's it's a
nerve wracking thing, dude. It's when you write stuff like this,
when you write jokes, it's a lot of Especially this
last tour was a very personal thing to where it
felt very therapeutic to get the ideas out and to
(04:24):
get the jokes out. However, it's a nerve wracking thing
to then present that stuff to an audience, to like,
have my thoughts, have my feelings, and present that to
an audience. So that was a nerve wracking part of that.
And now this side of it. I've never released an
album before, I've never put this stuff out for the
(04:45):
world to hear. So it's a very nerve wracking thing.
It's a very I'm gonna put like so much of yourself,
your personal self out there for the world to judge
and to hear. It's it's a lot, especially when it's
not necessarily the fun parts, you know what I mean.
I mean, so I'm nervous. I think that it's going
to hopefully do a lot of good, especially for the
Fisher House and for folks too who are maybe just
(05:07):
needing a little bit of a laugh and lol. Maybe
couldn't make the tour this year or previous years. Now
you can. Now you can listen wherever. So I want
to tell you guys, first, I've been I've been working
on the actually adding this thing for it feels like
weeks and just going back and forth and changing things
and doing that. There's a lot that goes into it,
(05:29):
but I'm excited, so it should be next Monday is
the announce of more info in the release than as well,
but because because of my thoughts, you guys get to
know first, so I appreciate it. I'll have more in
a week or so, but yeah, I just want to
let you guys know that's what's coming. I want to
get to this too for your Monday. The things you
should never say somebody going through a breakup, which is
(05:51):
kind of funny because I talked about this stuff in
the comedy tour because my breakup a little bit different
when you're in the somewhat public sphere where it feels
like everybody kind of knows what's going on. So I
wanted to get through these starting with you'll find somebody better. Yeah,
they say right now, they probably can't imagine anyone ever again,
(06:12):
so this comment ignores the pain and makes them feel
like their X is replaceable. I do think that's true.
I understand like the thought behind it because it is
like too and I do think like in the end,
everybody finds their person. That's so I want to believe.
But yeah, when I was going through it's like, yeah,
but you know, right now, don't feel that there is
anything better, you know what I mean, just because of like,
(06:33):
especially to a breakup, it doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't
necessarily a bad breakup. It makes it almost even like harder,
you know what I mean. It's harder to to hear like, oh,
you'll find some better. It's like, nah, we were we
were good, dude, they say it's for the best. Yeah,
I mean that's another one where it's like, uh, I
don't want to hear that right now, you know, that's
(06:56):
just like no, thank you. Yeah, I mean I do
feel like that's like when somebody's going through like a
loss in their family, it's like, oh, it's all part
of the plant's like, yeah, no, it's not the time though.
You know if they say at least he didn't get
married or have kids with them, bruh, bruh. Yeah, they
say minimizing their breakup by comparing to something worse is
(07:19):
not helpful one hundred percent. Yeah. Like I get I understand,
like the the thought behind it where it's like you're
trying to find like the the positive in it, But
that's hard dude. If he tells somebody there's plenty of
fish in the sea again. Not really the time you
want to hear it, you know, maybe a couple of
weeks after. But yeah, if somebody who told me that
(07:41):
but I don't want to know, or they say this
is something Eric would say I never looked them anyway,
although he didn't, which was surprising. This is interesting. I've
mentioned this before my last breakup. People were sad. Dude.
In previous times I mentioned this, like when I did
the on air breakup. Previous breakouts, my friends were happy,
They're like, okay, thank god. This one people were like
(08:01):
a little bit like, oh, are you okay. Yeah. If
somebody said to me I never liked them anyway, I
would be like, okay, you know, don't need to don't
need to hear that. Thanks. If somebody says time heals
all wounds, do it again, that is the worst. I
told this story on stage, but I was out and
this guy who is trying to make me feel better
said like, hey man, and they're going through a breakup.
(08:22):
I'm Mike, yeah, he goes, I know exactly what you're
going through. I'm like, oh really, and he goes, no, actually,
me and my wife been together for twenty years. I
was like Okay, so you don't know anything about what
I'm going through. And I appreciate he was trying to
be nice. I understand that, but I was like, dude,
come on, man, that's not gonna be helpful. Man. If
somebody says you need a distraction, they said maybe eventually,
(08:43):
but in the early days they need to find their feelings.
Forcing distractions can feel like an attempt to sweep their
pain under the rug. I do think the distraction thing
also is a bit of a I don't even know misdirection,
cause it is like, yes, you should not just sit
at home all day feeling sad. You should do things
that you like to do tet your mind off of it. However,
(09:05):
you still have to deal with those feelings. You still
have to deal with the hurt, with the pain, whatever,
like distracting yourself from because I've done that before in past,
past relationships. Just try to distract myself from like the
pain and go out. But it's like that ghost is
still gonna be there, you know what I mean. If
you don't deal with the actual pains, you don't deal
what you're going through. Eventually, there's gonna be a moment
(09:27):
where the distraction stops and it hits you like, oh,
I'm still going through this and that's tough. Kind of
goes with that you should just go out and have fun.
It's like, yeah, sure, they say, forcing them to fake
happiness doesn't allow them to fully work through their grief.
They say, offered to join them for a chill night instead.
I think that's fun, like a nice night I mean
(09:47):
my buddy's and not at the show. We went and
got drinks afterwards, and it wasn't like forcing me to
be like happy right away. It was like a nice
easing back into things. I think that's the best. I
think the best thing you can do when somebody's going
through a breakup just be there for them, especially because
again my situation, dude, is embarrassing, Like it's embarrassing to
in the public public specter. That's not right. I don't know.
(10:09):
I can't think today in the public arena to have
to go in front of you know, we have a
million some listeners in d C and Baltimore and be like, hey,
my relationship failed. Not the most thrilling thing to do.
Kind of a buzzkill soda is kind of like having
somebody there to survivee with maybe not even talk about it,
just to sit there and relax with that's clutch or
my case, you release an album which again it's uh,
(10:32):
I'm excited for you guys to hear it. I'm very
proud of it. It's funny listening back to it because
my mind, like my mind's kind of broken into sections.
There's the morning show, there's a podcast, comedy hockey, now
the restaurant opening, so like, I, you know, I don't
remember the jokes. I go on stage and I forgot
the jokes for the show. Until I heard the album again.
I was like, Okay, these are really good. So I'm
(10:53):
excited for you guys to hear it. You the first
ones know about it, so please act surprise next Monday.
We'll see a Wednesday stash Ower
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