December 20, 2024 • 9 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about why some guys give the bare minimum in relationships!
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Friday. Friend.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Welcome to the thought Shower. Intern. John is my name.
I had a nightmare situation last night, and well actual nightmare.
I dreamt that for whatever reason, I was back in college,
which that in itself not bad. However, it was the
dorm situation. Now, I have been living on my own
(00:26):
since I was twenty one twenty two, and not having
roommates is the best. I cannot go back to it,
although I got lucky. So my freshman year of college,
they set us up with people for roommates, and so
we got a note in the mail like, heh your
roomate's name is this? Looked him up on Facebook and
I was like, ah, man, like he's got a long
(00:47):
term girlfriend, he's a musician. I don't know if we'll
get along that well me in the first day and
I becoming one of my best friends. Lived together for
four years, still really good friends, and we are one
of the lucky cases where it were. I also think
my school did it maybe other schools do it the
same way where they grouped us for housing base on
(01:08):
our major. So like we had kind of similar interest
that way, which helped, and actually him and I ended
up kind of like reforming the college radio station and
the concert scene on campus, which was very very nice.
So that worked out however in this stream. So my
freshman year it was me and my roommate in like
(01:28):
the freshman dorm camino bathrooms right horrendous. Sophomore year it
was me my freshman roommate in one room or two
other buddies and different room, living room, kitchen, one bathroom
that had the shower tub and toilet, and I thought
it'd be a genius idea to make the bathroom more
efficient to nail to the ceiling allegedly a shower curtain
(01:52):
around the toilet, so you could have a guy taking
a shower, a guy using the bathroom, and a guy shaving.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
That was the idea.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Of the moisture was such a bad level that the
shower curtain didn't stay. That was also the dorm that
in the winter the heat went out, which not great
in Minnesota, so we had to use the oven for heat,
and then we also use the windows as a freezer,
like put stuff in the windows. Still a stake hold.
(02:20):
Junior year, again me and my freshman roommate, same room.
Then there was two other guys, same room, another single bathroom,
which is whatever. My senior year, though we struck pay dirt,
as the kids say, it was four guys. We each
had her own room on my wing of the dorm.
Me my roommate. He is, I'm on room, bathroom, other wing,
(02:42):
same thing, bathroom. So that wasn't as bad the bathroom.
The human ratio isn't bad. Bring this up because my
dream last night it was horrendous. It was a room
of like so I walked into my room and it's
me and my freshman roommate and then somebody else. So
there's three people in one small room. My fresh roommate
(03:03):
is sleeping in the closet, there's three guys in the
other rooms. That's six and one bathroom. Except they had
like an auxiliary shower in the hallway that was like
a tent auxiliary thing that you pulled out.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
And so I don't know what the point of the
dream was. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I'm supposed to learn something from it, but it was
a nightmare. It was nightmare. The only thing I could
think of is like, if I ever have a girl over,
I'm gonna need to get like a hotel.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Room, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Like there's no way to bring a girl back here
with five other dudes disaster.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So I was shook this morning.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I'm okay, now let me get to this two for
your Friday reasons.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Why many men give the bare minimum in.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
A relationship which is not great, And it starts with
they never learned what effort looked like. Yeah, they say,
some guys grew up without seeing what a healthy, balanced
relationship looks like. If they never saw someone put an
emotional effort to go the extra mile, they might not
even realize the falling short. I will say this, and
I hate giving my father compliments.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I do no good. He was a great dad still,
Liz h He.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Would always like get my mom flowers and stuff for
a birthday, and he, like we always inst does like
takes it very seriously. So I think my brother and
I realize, like, okay, you gotta go the action mile.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Now.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I think my dad, to his credit, realized he outkicked
his coverage with my mom, so he realize he has
to step up, which is also the not bad thing.
It's not a bad thing, it's a good thing to realize.
So uh, yeah, we got lucky to see that. Certainly,
growing up, they get too comfortable. Yeah, the point of
the relationship where sweatpants become default. For some men, emotional
(04:44):
effort goes the same way. They figure we're good, so
why try harder. I do think again, like a dude's
brain is like, why do you maintenance if there's no
sign of trouble. I do think that's how that goes.
I think that's kind of of like you just assume
you've you've crossed the hard paths, you know what I mean,
You've gotten passed the divides. Now you're good to go.
(05:08):
I think that happens more often than not. I really do.
The next time is they think the hard part is over? Yes,
they say. For a lot of men, the chase is
where the energy goes. The flowers, the dates, the sweet texts,
those are tools to win you over. But once the
relationship is official, they think they can hit cruise control.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I mean again, it kind of goes back to the
previous thing, right. I feel like it's like once the
cording process is over, once you've sealed the deals, so
to speak. I do think men are probably like, all right,
we got this, we're going to get now we can
just focus on our life together. Oh boy, they see
relationships as a chore. They say, some men here relationships
(05:50):
take work and immediately think it's going to be exhausting
and says seeing the effort as a way to build
something amazing, Oh damn, And they see as a drain
on their time or energy. I do think that, like
if you've been in a bad relationship or not good one, yeah,
you'll see that, like the effort is not worth it.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
For sure, and that it is draining. I think.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I mean that at that point, any relationship that hasn't
worked out, at some point you thought it was draining,
You thought it was exhausting, and that's why he got out.
I don't think that's not normal. They think paying bills
is enough. Damn, they say. Some men equate effort with
financial contribution. They say, covering the check is nice, but
(06:34):
it doesn't replace emotional connection or thoughtful gestures.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I would also add this, do you want somebody who
just wants you to pay for things? I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Like? That's not great, you know what I mean? Like,
that's that's not a fun relationship. You just the purse,
so to speak. If they don't get what you need,
they say, not every man, that's great. Reading between the lines.
If you're not outright saying what you need, they might
assume everything's fine one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yes, I have had jokes about this.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I think that if your dude is a good dude
and he's always been good to you, but all of
a sudden you put him in the doghouse and he's
acting like he doesn't know why, there's a fantastic chance
he doesn't know why he's there. Like any dude who
loves you and has been good in the relationship doesn't
want his girl mad at him. No dude wakes up
(07:31):
and goes, what can I do today to make her
mad at me? To make my life worse and miserable.
No dude wakes up thinking that, So, if he's got
you in this spot, there's a fantastic chance he has
zero idea that you're there, no doubt. They feel overwhelmed
(07:51):
by expectations. They say the bar for being a great
partner is pretty high.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
These days.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Men are expecting to be emotionally available, financially secure, and
romantic on demand. For some, it feels like too much.
I do think that's true. Yeah, I think that's kind
of what society tells us to do. I think that
for a lot of dudes. The emotional part too, is
kind of like a newer phenomena. We're supposed to be that.
But I do think, yeah, like the romantic gestures financially secure,
(08:17):
I have not proposed to a girl yet, maybe one day,
but I do think that's gonna be a bunch of
pressure too, like if the ring is not what it's
supposed to be. And also I think like the girl
that I marry won't necessarily care, but like that kind
of outside pressure of like what do you do, where
do you go? How many carrots? That kind of stuff. Yeah,
(08:40):
I think that's probably a lot. I think that's probably
a lot, a lot. I think all these makes sense,
I really do. I also think too, and I said
this a million times in the show, you gotta treat
men like puppies, you know, Yeah, Y gotta train the
puppy where it can go to the bathroom, where it
can't go to the bathroom. And you can't be mad
(09:00):
if you don't scold the puppy for peen inside.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
You know what I mean. It's a puppy. Puppy has
no idea what he's doing. Puppies trying to do his
puppy thing with puppy breath, Chewi's breath. That's another story
from the day. Listen.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I hope you have a fantastic Friday, even better weekend.
If you get a chance to follow me, I would
greatly appreciate it. At Internjohn Radio, you can follow the
morning show. At YMS Radio, you can get the morning
show's podcast just search intern John in your morning show.
Wherever you listen to podcasts, you can fast forward, you
(09:35):
can rewind, you can pause. Everything is right there for
your convenience. Twenty four to seven. I will see you
on Monday. This is the thought shower. I thank you
for listening. Have a fantastic weekend, friend,
And a happy Friday. Friend.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Welcome to the thought Shower. Intern. John is my name.
I had a nightmare situation last night, and well actual nightmare.
I dreamt that for whatever reason, I was back in college,
which that in itself not bad. However, it was the
dorm situation. Now, I have been living on my own
(00:26):
since I was twenty one twenty two, and not having
roommates is the best. I cannot go back to it,
although I got lucky. So my freshman year of college,
they set us up with people for roommates, and so
we got a note in the mail like, heh your
roomate's name is this? Looked him up on Facebook and
I was like, ah, man, like he's got a long
(00:47):
term girlfriend, he's a musician. I don't know if we'll
get along that well me in the first day and
I becoming one of my best friends. Lived together for
four years, still really good friends, and we are one
of the lucky cases where it were. I also think
my school did it maybe other schools do it the
same way where they grouped us for housing base on
(01:08):
our major. So like we had kind of similar interest
that way, which helped, and actually him and I ended
up kind of like reforming the college radio station and
the concert scene on campus, which was very very nice.
So that worked out however in this stream. So my
freshman year it was me and my roommate in like
(01:28):
the freshman dorm camino bathrooms right horrendous. Sophomore year it
was me my freshman roommate in one room or two
other buddies and different room, living room, kitchen, one bathroom
that had the shower tub and toilet, and I thought
it'd be a genius idea to make the bathroom more
efficient to nail to the ceiling allegedly a shower curtain
(01:52):
around the toilet, so you could have a guy taking
a shower, a guy using the bathroom, and a guy shaving.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
That was the idea.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Of the moisture was such a bad level that the
shower curtain didn't stay. That was also the dorm that
in the winter the heat went out, which not great
in Minnesota, so we had to use the oven for heat,
and then we also use the windows as a freezer,
like put stuff in the windows. Still a stake hold.
(02:20):
Junior year, again me and my freshman roommate, same room.
Then there was two other guys, same room, another single bathroom,
which is whatever. My senior year, though we struck pay dirt,
as the kids say, it was four guys. We each
had her own room on my wing of the dorm.
Me my roommate. He is, I'm on room, bathroom, other wing,
(02:42):
same thing, bathroom. So that wasn't as bad the bathroom.
The human ratio isn't bad. Bring this up because my
dream last night it was horrendous. It was a room
of like so I walked into my room and it's
me and my freshman roommate and then somebody else. So
there's three people in one small room. My fresh roommate
(03:03):
is sleeping in the closet, there's three guys in the
other rooms. That's six and one bathroom. Except they had
like an auxiliary shower in the hallway that was like
a tent auxiliary thing that you pulled out.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
And so I don't know what the point of the
dream was. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I'm supposed to learn something from it, but it was
a nightmare. It was nightmare. The only thing I could
think of is like, if I ever have a girl over,
I'm gonna need to get like a hotel.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Room, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Like there's no way to bring a girl back here
with five other dudes disaster.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So I was shook this morning.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I'm okay, now let me get to this two for
your Friday reasons.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Why many men give the bare minimum in.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
A relationship which is not great, And it starts with
they never learned what effort looked like. Yeah, they say,
some guys grew up without seeing what a healthy, balanced
relationship looks like. If they never saw someone put an
emotional effort to go the extra mile, they might not
even realize the falling short. I will say this, and
I hate giving my father compliments.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I do no good. He was a great dad still,
Liz h He.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Would always like get my mom flowers and stuff for
a birthday, and he, like we always inst does like
takes it very seriously. So I think my brother and
I realize, like, okay, you gotta go the action mile.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Now.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I think my dad, to his credit, realized he outkicked
his coverage with my mom, so he realize he has
to step up, which is also the not bad thing.
It's not a bad thing, it's a good thing to realize.
So uh, yeah, we got lucky to see that. Certainly,
growing up, they get too comfortable. Yeah, the point of
the relationship where sweatpants become default. For some men, emotional
(04:44):
effort goes the same way. They figure we're good, so
why try harder. I do think again, like a dude's
brain is like, why do you maintenance if there's no
sign of trouble. I do think that's how that goes.
I think that's kind of of like you just assume
you've you've crossed the hard paths, you know what I mean,
You've gotten passed the divides. Now you're good to go.
(05:08):
I think that happens more often than not. I really do.
The next time is they think the hard part is over? Yes,
they say. For a lot of men, the chase is
where the energy goes. The flowers, the dates, the sweet texts,
those are tools to win you over. But once the
relationship is official, they think they can hit cruise control.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I mean again, it kind of goes back to the
previous thing, right. I feel like it's like once the
cording process is over, once you've sealed the deals, so
to speak. I do think men are probably like, all right,
we got this, we're going to get now we can
just focus on our life together. Oh boy, they see
relationships as a chore. They say, some men here relationships
(05:50):
take work and immediately think it's going to be exhausting
and says seeing the effort as a way to build
something amazing, Oh damn, And they see as a drain
on their time or energy. I do think that, like
if you've been in a bad relationship or not good one, yeah,
you'll see that, like the effort is not worth it.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
For sure, and that it is draining. I think.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I mean that at that point, any relationship that hasn't
worked out, at some point you thought it was draining,
You thought it was exhausting, and that's why he got out.
I don't think that's not normal. They think paying bills
is enough. Damn, they say. Some men equate effort with
financial contribution. They say, covering the check is nice, but
(06:34):
it doesn't replace emotional connection or thoughtful gestures.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I would also add this, do you want somebody who
just wants you to pay for things? I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Like? That's not great, you know what I mean? Like,
that's that's not a fun relationship. You just the purse,
so to speak. If they don't get what you need,
they say, not every man, that's great. Reading between the lines.
If you're not outright saying what you need, they might
assume everything's fine one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yes, I have had jokes about this.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I think that if your dude is a good dude
and he's always been good to you, but all of
a sudden you put him in the doghouse and he's
acting like he doesn't know why, there's a fantastic chance
he doesn't know why he's there. Like any dude who
loves you and has been good in the relationship doesn't
want his girl mad at him. No dude wakes up
(07:31):
and goes, what can I do today to make her
mad at me? To make my life worse and miserable.
No dude wakes up thinking that, So, if he's got
you in this spot, there's a fantastic chance he has
zero idea that you're there, no doubt. They feel overwhelmed
(07:51):
by expectations. They say the bar for being a great
partner is pretty high.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
These days.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Men are expecting to be emotionally available, financially secure, and
romantic on demand. For some, it feels like too much.
I do think that's true. Yeah, I think that's kind
of what society tells us to do. I think that
for a lot of dudes. The emotional part too, is
kind of like a newer phenomena. We're supposed to be that.
But I do think, yeah, like the romantic gestures financially secure,
(08:17):
I have not proposed to a girl yet, maybe one day,
but I do think that's gonna be a bunch of
pressure too, like if the ring is not what it's
supposed to be. And also I think like the girl
that I marry won't necessarily care, but like that kind
of outside pressure of like what do you do, where
do you go? How many carrots? That kind of stuff. Yeah,
(08:40):
I think that's probably a lot. I think that's probably
a lot, a lot. I think all these makes sense,
I really do. I also think too, and I said
this a million times in the show, you gotta treat
men like puppies, you know, Yeah, Y gotta train the
puppy where it can go to the bathroom, where it
can't go to the bathroom. And you can't be mad
(09:00):
if you don't scold the puppy for peen inside.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
You know what I mean. It's a puppy. Puppy has
no idea what he's doing. Puppies trying to do his
puppy thing with puppy breath, Chewi's breath. That's another story
from the day. Listen.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I hope you have a fantastic Friday, even better weekend.
If you get a chance to follow me, I would
greatly appreciate it. At Internjohn Radio, you can follow the
morning show. At YMS Radio, you can get the morning
show's podcast just search intern John in your morning show.
Wherever you listen to podcasts, you can fast forward, you
(09:35):
can rewind, you can pause. Everything is right there for
your convenience. Twenty four to seven. I will see you
on Monday. This is the thought shower. I thank you
for listening. Have a fantastic weekend, friend,
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