How To Happy - 1164

On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about his trip to Des Moines, and how we can be happy

Intern John's new comedy album, "Chuy Forever: The Album" is out! Proceeds benefit the Warrior Canine Connection. You can order the album HERE

Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Friday friend. Welcome to the Thought Shower.
Intern John is my name. Been a week about to
be a big weekend. Busy day today for your boy
after the show today, flying to des Moines, Iowa. I've
been listening to podcasts a week. You know. I'm going
back to des Moines. I was in Des Moines for
eleven months before I moved to DC. Going back because

(00:21):
University of Minnesota plays University of Iowa in college football.
Gonna be a lot of fun. It should be go again.
I think it's their homecoming game as well. That's gonna
be fun, gonna be emotional, certainly. The plan today is
to land. That's step one. That's a pretty big part
of today's plan is to have the airplane land safely.
That's yeah, that'd be ideal, ideal situation for the pilots

(00:44):
if they could. And then gonna go back to my
first apartment ever kind of check it out and just
see where it is. The crazy thing is, like I
haven't been des Moines, having lived there for thirteen years,
I can still basically know my way and I've only
gone back maybe twice, but I can basically like I'm

(01:05):
pretty good with that kind of like photographic memory. So
excited to go back see the first apartment. Gonna be
kind of like a surreal experience, you know, think really
thirteen years ago was starting here, so to see where
we were thirteen years ago, me in Chewy back then.
And then Saturday going to the game, which should be
fun because both teams are doing well, I think college sports.

(01:27):
There's something special about it to be fun for me
too because going with my old boss Greg who without him,
there is no intern John in your morning show. He
took me in as I was twenty one, I think,
was in Des Moines and young, hungry, excited certainly, but
he kind of took me in and molded me and

(01:49):
looked out for me. So it's cool to see him. Also,
like I would spend so much time at his house
because I again, like I mentioned last podcast, think while
didn't party, was working. So like seeing his kids is
creat for me because when I first started, they were like,
you know, six and four. Now they are adults. So
goeta be a lot of fun. Follow along on the
Instagram this weekend at interns Gen Radio. But it's gonna

(02:11):
be a very cleansing is the right word. But I
think it's good every now and then to see how
far life has gone. Yeah, life, how far you've grown,
and how things have changed. So I'm excited for this weekend.
Let me get to this for your Friday. Though, the
reasons many folks are secretly scared of happiness. I've told

(02:32):
friends this recently, that there's a couple of friends where
it's like, hey, like, just so you know, you deserve
a happy ending. And I mean that. I have some
friends who I feel like almost block themselves off from
that happiness, and it's like, hey, like you deserve it. Though, like,
who's to say you don't get the happy ending you want.
I think that's important. Let yourself have the chance of

(02:53):
being happy. The first thing is we fear the other
shoe dropping. I do think that's fair. When happiness shows up,
it can feel like a storm weighting to follow. You
start living on the edge, anticipating the next bad thing,
because life is telling you the good times are often
followed by bad I'm gonna be honest. Yeah, good times
are always followed by bad and bad times followed by good.
There's like Tom, I think it was Tom Hanks. I

(03:14):
saw it didn't interview this too? Shall pass, and that's like, yeah,
when you're in the good moments, eventually those are gonna
go away. When you're in the bad moments, those who
go away too. It's kind of life, you know. But
at least, like the good moments, you can look back
on and be happy. I think that as far as
you know what's chewy, I've learned to look back at
the good moments, and I'm very lucky that we have

(03:36):
so many of those, and wouldn't tray that for anything
in the world. You know, we feel guilty for feeling good,
they say. Sometimes happiness makes you feel guilty, especially when
others around you are struggling. You might think, who am
I to feel happy when someone else is hurting? I
felt this in relationships sometimes, where it's like I got
things going my way, whether it be you know, work

(03:58):
or various I guess well, it's all work for me.
The Bar Podcast All stuff. Where do you feel like awkward?
Like I want to talk about it, but I do
you think like you gotta still celebrate your happiness. You
know what I mean? You can still feel bad for others,
but celebrate your happiness. We feel the vulnerability hangover, they say.
Happiest can lead you feeling exposed, which is kind of
a vulnerability some find uncomfortable. It's like opening a door

(04:20):
to innermo self and that's scared as people prefer to
keep their guard up. That is true, Like golly, there's
nothing worse than like when you start talking to somebody
or seeing somebody and then you can tell your walls
or starting to come down, and it's like no, oh,
at that moment you realize you're screwed. It's one of
the worst movie, one of the worst moments of all

(04:41):
time in a relationship where you realize like, oh no,
this person cracked the code. I'm gonna fall. You know,
we're caught in the social media comparison trap. They say.
Social media is turning comparison the full time occupation. When
you're happy, it's easy to follow the trap of comparing
your joy with somebody else's highlight reel. You know, I've
had that happen before. There's times I gotta catch myself
where it's even like when I had the number one

(05:04):
and number two comedy album in the world. I was
on social media. I saw somebody else post something like
oh but I want that. I was like, hey, man,
like we're doing okay. I've had to start doing that
more recently, and maybe it'll help you. Where I'm very
positive or trying to be uplifting to the people around me. However,
to myself, I'm as hard as can be on myself.
If I was as hard on everybody else as I

(05:25):
am myself, i'd have zero friends. Where I've had to
start telling myself like hey man, but just me saying like, hey,
we're doing good like you're we're doing a good job,
and that's helped. It has It has helped me realize
like talking to yourself like you would a friend is helpful,
even like it's for me like nothing's ever good enough,
especially with the show. If I get like one word

(05:46):
wrong or I feel like I, you know, jumble my
words up, I will beat myself up for it. And
it's like, man, if I was treating somebody else like
I treat myself, I'd have nobody working for me, you
know what I mean. The next one is we worry
about jinxing it. They say you might avoid knowledging your happiness.
I'll allow for fear jinx it. This superstitious belief is
more common than you think, where people worry about expressing

(06:08):
enjoy somehow lead to its disappearance. I do think that's true.
I get I think that that comes from certainly trauma
right in like past experiences where you feel like okay again,
kind of to the point of like the shoe dropping,
where it's like I'm happy things are working out. Certainly,
it can't work out this well for this long, you
know what I mean. And it's almost like the second

(06:28):
you say it, something's gonna happen. I mean, I remember too,
like when I had the albums, I was almost afraid
to post it because I was afraid that what it
goes away, which is so crazy to think about, because
it's like, here it is number one, number two comedy
albums in the world, but don't post it because what
if somebody else sees it and they try to get

(06:49):
their album number one? And it's like, even if that
did happen, it doesn't take away from the fact that
I accomplished that, you know what I mean. So I
think that's huge. I think that sometimes we can talk
ourselves out of it. It's like, I do believe everybody
deserves to be happy. I mean that, and that's always
been the goal of the show. It can happy healthy
relationship with yourself, family, friends, whomever. I think that's yeah.

(07:13):
Don't let somebody else run your happy. Life's too short. Yeah,
we misunderstand the meaning of contentment, they say. Many confused
happiness with the constant excitement, overlooking the value of being content.
This misunderstanding these people to chase after thrills in serch
of happiness leave them all the time dissatisfied. So here's

(07:34):
the thing, they say. Being contempt might not be flashy,
but as a stable, lasting form of happiness, by recognizing
it's worth, people find deeper sense of peace. I feel
like this happens more so in relationships where it's like, Okay,
maybe the butterflies are gone, like the thrill is gone whatever.
But it's like, yeah, but as long as you're happy,

(07:56):
that's still good. Like maybe the sugar rush wore off.
But being contempt in a relationship is a good thing,
you know. It means you're happy, means you feel safe.
That's a good thing. We don't need to have butterflies
all the time, you know. We feel burdened by expectations,
they say. People around you might have expectations about your happiness,

(08:17):
adding pressure to feel a certain way. I feel that
a lot, especially because like with the show, like you know,
when you are the leader of anything, your mood kind
of sets the tone. And so like, there's been times
where I've felt that pressure to where it's like, yeah,

(08:38):
I always have to be in a good mood, and
that can be a lot where it feels like people
will pick up on things in not even a bad way.
Especially I think again with going through breakups or chewy passing,
I can tell people around me are not necessarily on edge,
but they are like guards up worried, which is a
good thing to have. But that is a bit of
pressure though it feels like, Okay, I need to be
happy all the time, you know. The last one is

(09:01):
we fall in for the myth of the pursuit, the
belief that happiness is something to be chased. It can
lead to endless pursuit. The chase implies the happiness is
always just out of reach, constantly moving further a way.
The idea need to actively pursue happiness can be exhausting
and counterproductive. Yeah, I get. I think it goes to
like sometimes man, enjoy the moment. You know. There's a
quote that you've survived one hundred percent of your worst

(09:23):
days so far, and it's true. You know. I also
think it's fun to find happiness in small things. You know,
whether it is like your cup of coffee in the
morning or like a funny Instagram video. You can have
small wins, you know what I mean. I think that's
important to have. Stack up the small wins has some
big ones. I hope you have a fantastic weekend. If

(09:44):
you get a chance to follow along this weekend, it's
gonna be powerful. Man, it's gonna be I don't know.
I'm excited. I'm nervous all those things that go back
to the roots at internshon radio. Have a fantastic weekend.
I'll see a Monday. It's thash Hower