December 2, 2024 • 19 mins
Today on the UnNamed Podcast, the fellas are joined by a friend of the show Joey Wheeler to discuss all things size, and length...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Black Ah.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Yes, Glenn Campbell, Yeah, Glenn Campbell. I think my grandfather
every time I hear this song. The country music fan
Ray Kenny, is he a big fan.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Of Ryan Stone Cowboy?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
He was a big George straight Man near one with
the name.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
George George Sarod. No, I don't think so Jewish, thoroughgood, bad.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
To the bone, to the bomb and Ryan Stone Cowboy.
Whenever I hear that, I think Rodney Road. He's a
well hung playerboy. Actually the Rodney Road take off of that?
You guys familiar with Rodney Rhad's work, No, okay, certainly
Australian content director Pixie Campbell will be aware of it.
(00:53):
Rodney Road loomed large over the music comedy landscape in
the nineteen eighties, still going Rodney Road and Rodney Road.
Kevin Bloody Wilson, Oh yeah, Kevin Bloody Wilson.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I don't know who that is.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
No, you wouldn't know me.
Speaker 5 (01:10):
Rodney Road, no idea, Kevin Bloody Wilson all over it.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
So what's been happening, Joey, What's what's happening in your wield? Mate?
Speaker 5 (01:16):
And my wheelhouse whinning down for the year. I just
got a couple of sky engagements to finish off the year.
But I've actually got a November cricket match this Sunday
on a bitter Man living and the scene of the
crime where I got the yips. Funnily enough a couple
of years ago on the Black Clash back at Hagley Oval,
(01:37):
playing on the Test wicket that the Black Deps just
dropped a thousand catches at. So hopefully them Movember side,
I think Captain by g Lane.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Who see that team? Toddy Estell's in there.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
He's on the better Man Oh so sorry, you're on
the November side.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yeah, the better Man side looks very good. The better
Man side. God, if they got some current first class player,
still still.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
Very very good.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
He's still got it far too good.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Mister crooked himself.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
Yeah, and just takes it far too seriously for my liking.
You know, like comes in, can bowl wrong ands you know,
you name it. He's doing it.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Here's my strategy, read it, okay before we get before
we go on on my strategy to todd Estell, after
watching him play quite a lot actually over the years,
just ho around on the back foot for that, waiting
for the first one because he will drag it down
every league, he drags the first one down.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
That's just what they do.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
So wait, so have around, wait for it, have a
look at it, pick it out of the hand, and
he'll he won't bowler wrong in first ball, he won't
boil wrong, and it'll be either a top of or
a leigie. And then wait for it. Hol around on
the back foot, pull him away, smash him and then
he'll think, me, puts this one up, use your feet
next ball, and then he's in trouble. Immediately you've gone bang, bang,
(02:56):
four to four. He's eight off two and you were
at the and you know he's behind the count basically,
and he's in there.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
He's in a lot of trouble.
Speaker 5 (03:05):
If I'll get a chance against him, that'll be my tech.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
Ye.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
Yeah, have we got in the November eleven Rito, Mike Lane, Ben.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Hurley, Marty Banks, Oh, the legend of Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
Mary Banks went a little bit over on the West
Coast with the cricket a bit. I'm not sure he
always talked a boig game. I think he's more of
a bowler than a bet.
Speaker 7 (03:28):
What is Mary Darren Major?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
What does Marty do there?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
By day?
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Marty is now working for a selling windows and doors. Yes,
salesman as partner.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I'm just partner. Down at the gend and Craft Beer
and Food festival. Apparently Marty was around, but he's a
very popular man down there. On to Tago, I think
the moment he hits the streets, he's very sort of
have to figure.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Michelle Prennible lovely woman, was great. Yeah, but I'm looking
at the better man eleven and they've got Stephen Murdoch.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
You remember Stephen m Stephen murder.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Played first class cricket Ryan.
Speaker 6 (04:02):
Estell, Will Hall, Will Hall, comedian, Yeah, actor. He's playing
for Colin Slade.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Now we're talking very.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Good cricket, is he. Yeah? I played a lot of
age grade cricket against Slado.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Of course he is. He's got everything.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
He's the name that I haven't thought of an actually,
but Colin Slade large over.
Speaker 7 (04:26):
He's like.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
For so Off bar investment banking.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Is he?
Speaker 7 (04:31):
Yeah, crypto and.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
He can do everything. That guy.
Speaker 5 (04:38):
Yeah, he's not the most he wouldn't say. He's an
oil painting name and OK, he's got hasn't got that
on the side.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You can't be you can't be perfect, can you?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
You can't be perfect with me.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Yeah, yeah, Jif Folkson.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
What's he playing on?
Speaker 7 (04:53):
What did you say?
Speaker 5 (04:54):
He's playing playing in the Fox and played cricket for
New Zealand, played ragging for obviously, probably got to play
basketball for freak athletic, good at everything. But he is
making in one department.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yeah he is.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
He's Yeah, he's bored, he's he's unfortunate the universe got him.
Speaker 5 (05:12):
He's got a beautiful golden locks for the golden part
and now nothing. Yeah, he doesn't have that going for him.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I know, thank god, the universe will will get you somewhere.
It has to, and if it doesn't get you, get
your bloody kids.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I thought I didn't know where it had got a
new jery until I saw that photo or that drawing
that you drew of your own downstairs for the for
the pillow that you know you're getting mocked up. How
you having that life size, you know, creation of that
kind of pillow of your downstairs. I thought that you
were a perfect human actually, until I saw that you're
drawing of your down sow.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
What was wrong with the downstairs met a million a
million faults? Well, let's just say it's not a very
big pillow. Yeah, Okay, what I will say is it's
a long pillow.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
It's but it's a very skinny pillow, you know, like
one of those things that you put on the bottom
of the door to stop the draft coming out of me.
That's what I think it might be at drafting drafts. Yeah,
it was long and fat. I thought you had more
tistical than I actually sort of I.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Extended the length a lot, Yeah, because that's what I
banished the length because if I'm being honest, that's what
I thought had happened.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Because I've shared with you in countless times and it's
very like, you know, not like that elf on the
shelf type like that. You know, your tisticles hold up.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Motisticals are good.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Satisticals you've got artisticals are good.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
That's certainly.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
And as you and you'll find this mess isn't only
twenty five years, Joe, you'll be starting to experience this
now you heating into his mid thirties. But your artisticals
just continue to grow nice and they continue to they
and gravity starts to take hold.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
So you know, you can get in.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
My situation, they're starting to really route right down there
that old man's balls thing going on?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
And what is what is the old man's balls.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Hang down low? They hang down low, They wobble to
and fro?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Can you time?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
And not? Can you time? And a bar?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
You probably could now wa'ts the next line in that
song after that?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Because I never understood that you can toss them over
your shoulder like a regimental soldier or.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
What was the regimental soldier tossing over has whipping has whippen,
but like your whaping back to my ball with the shoulder,
just quickly.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Long and skinny.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Because Joey will appreciate the story. My balls, I've had them.
I had my tubes tied straight in there for the
sterilization as quick as I could, quick as I could
get in there, and had two kids. Thought that's enough,
hang out my boots, hang on.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Is this is going to be the Long Barrier story again.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Joey doesn't know the Long Barrier story. Yeah, it's a
great story. And I was called up to play Last
Man's Stands cricket. And it was two days after I'd
had the operation, the the sterilization operation, the what's it
called of a sectomy? Yeah, they go and tie your
churms and cut you out. Went to the vest man.
(08:08):
He's actually called the vest man. He's you know, he's
a cheap option.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Put it that way. He's the budget option.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
How much does it cost for a vest too?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
I think the best man was the best man was.
I think the best man was three fifty or six
fifty one or the two.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
It's called a good price, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Ye're not bad cheaper than a kid. And the best
man did his job, and then I was all red.
I was all blown up down there like black and
blue and went along. Then I got the call up
for the last Man's stands cricket, and they said, look
are you up for playing? And the vast Man had said,
don't do anything strenuous, just take it easy, you know.
(08:45):
Five days after and I was like, oh, I felt fine,
even though I was a bit sore. And then I
thought I play. I'll be okay. I've never been hit
in the nuts, never been hit in the nuts playing cricket,
not once, because I always played the line of the cock,
you know, if the ball is bit of angling, and
I'll make sure.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
That I play the line of my cock, and I
will get hit a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
On the inner thigh every cricket season. I just have
bruises on my own thighs. But I've never been hitting
the box. When along played, scored some runs, didn't get
hit in the box. You know, it was all good,
you know. I was telling the guys and the thing.
Never been hitting them, never been hitting the nuts, So
everything's fine. Then we came to field. I was down
at long on one of the guys. This is the
(09:27):
this is the end of season. It's probably actually March
at the domain. Terrible outfields. I'm at long on someone's hat,
one solidly down to met long on stock standard. Didn't
have to move much, put the long barrier down because
so don't even outfield. And the ball bobbled on me
(09:50):
with about a meter before it was bouncing on its
way down there. And it bobbled and got went over
the top of my hands which were down low, and
got me square right where the vasectomy had happened, like
right where it had happened.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Fucking Lord, fuck me, did I fucking go down.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Jesus, because it was already blowing up and no good.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
I was already bruised.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
It was bruise on bruise because getting hit the nuts
hurts anyway, But this was getting hit on some tender
and because they've tied you up, they've chopped your your
vast difference, and there's a lot of shit going on
in there. It's all meating. It's like a wanton and
a wanton soup down there, and I blow up.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I reckon.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
My nut was about the size of my first So
I was trying to get out of this.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
I'll tell you because it's still not right.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
As you reach down downstairs there it's the right nut.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
My right nut is an absolute shambles now, a tock
of pounding that day. It took a pounding that day,
and it's never quite it's not it's not come right.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Since does it have a different feel to it now?
Speaker 4 (11:09):
Yeah, it feels like a whole lot of crap.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Just spurling around down and there. Yeah, it's not good.
I think I'll end up with testicular cancer or some
horrific thing, no doubt. But but yeah, so I was.
And I've never blown up or bros like that before.
It was it was horrific. Everyone pissing themselves laughing because
I was right in front of everybody.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
What what is it about that someone gets hit in
the nuts and it's hilarious, is it just because you
know how sore it is, and when it's not you
you get so much joy and seeing someone else killed
up in a ball ship.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Squirmishing, and I think that they're going to be okay
as well, because you've had it yourself, so you know
that you can get you can have a laughing for
five minutes and they'll come back.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Look.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
I was guilty of this through my rugby career a lot,
which was when you're in the line out, sometimes kicking
out with your heel as your as you're jumping with
the lifters and collecting a ball sack of the lifter
the backlifter. The frequency was yeah, uncomfortably yeah sometimes, but
there was always guys that were you know, I was
(12:19):
luckily a natural jumper, so it didn't happen very often.
Maybe once or twice a season to an unsuspecting bloke,
usually when you're going through a new movement pattern Jerry.
But there were guys always in your team that were
just not that confident going up in the year and
would be a fucking noodle in the air.
Speaker 7 (12:38):
Jonathan Path, Shane Christie, just terrible, John Hardy, those boys
kicking blokes in the nuts and every time hilarious like
boys are down and hysterics and the poor old backlifter
walking around like ye holding his nut set.
Speaker 5 (12:56):
In a game.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Though, if you do that, because you can't go.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
Down with you have you got like they just go
down really, you know they'll go, oh is he winded
or whatever? But then the old there'll be a giggle
or whatever because talking berries.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
I can, just I can. The problem is nothing sick.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
Feelings, ye, right in your gut.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Well, when you when you have your when you have
the varseecto me, that's the feeling that you have, you
can actually feel when they tug on it because they
can't you feel that.
Speaker 6 (13:25):
Yeah, yeah, see I'm Jew.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
I'm Jew.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
Maybe I'll get it while I'm up here. Yeah, well
you just booking woman a prayer fifty.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
You're totally invest man investment, the best man you.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Pass on investment.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
What's his name? I know his name.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
It's not surprised, the long one.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
You don't want to You don't want to go to
surprise belong for your bed. Oh no, no, you'll get
a surprise. You won't know what Jonathan Masters I think
his name is Jonathan Masters is the vest man eight
hundred vast Man.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
The same every time has number plate.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
As vast Man.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yeah is it actually yeah has number plates veast Man.
So the vast Man, he injects your nuts and then
he cuts you. Cuts cuts a little hole like it
cuts the line of the scalpel down.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Your nuts and then.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Fetches out your tube. That's the bit that's not good.
And you tugging up in your guts because it's connected
up to here where your semen is, because your seamen's
produced up up higher and so you feel I'm pulling
away and like that's the bit that's weird.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
The rest of it.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
When they say it's just a bit uncomfortable, that's the
best way to describe it. It's not painful.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
It's just a lazer the laser option, and they laser it.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Know what they do is they pull it out, they
cut it.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
They laser the ends. You can smell your vest so
they still got to cut you.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
I thought it was an invasive option.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
No, they chop it, laser each end, quarterize it and
then they tie the tube together.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
They tie those.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Two things together so you nuts stay in your sack.
And they do that on both sides, and so that's
what it takes about fifteen minutes maybe.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
And then you're just blowing smoke for the rest of
your life.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Yeah, so we're good.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
No, you're blowing no you Yeah, you're still the same.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
You wouldn't know, but.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Yeah, did you find your performance shut up post.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Or yeah, improved. But it took me quite a long
time to get rid of all of the swimmers out
of there. Yeah, it took me, Like I kept going
back and kept testing and they keep going. Now you've
still got more swimmers and then come on, get out
of there swimmings.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Yeez.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Yeah, but I reckon it took six months. You've got
to be kif a lot of people have babies in
the first and the and the six months following the second.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yeah, okay, well, because there's just a build up of
still lives.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Still in there, yet still in there?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
How many wents I think they say something like twenty,
they say something like thirty ejaculations or something.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
It took me bloody on time, been a couple of years.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Or a weekend in the Sudima.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
That's a good way to tackle it.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
That's a good way to tackle it.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Ec Yeah, well it took me a while after hitting
the nuts, after the bloody operation.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
I wasn't going near there for bloody weeks.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
And you're black and blue, black and blue, like massive,
massive black and hornia.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
When I was young and similar sort of area right,
and got it operated on. I think it was eighteen
and geez, my whole downstairs operation full black and blue.
And I remember showing the boys and one of my
mates the res, the res has got a cocktail sausage,
(16:52):
real small, little he doesn't mind getting it out, yea,
and he goes, it's about time that that that that
thing of yours had the had the same coloring. That okay, right,
but quite quite disconcerning when you look down there, you know,
for what and you're just a black downstairs?
Speaker 4 (17:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Oh yeah, total, yeah, yeah, I was. The The meat
was fine, but it was the viach.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
No, the veach was fine. It was the meat. What's
the meat? What's the veg? Meat? And too bitch, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
The meat was the meat was okay, It was the
veach that just looked like, would.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
You rather or link? Well?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I think you probably, I mean, I mean, when you've
got neither, you probably you just want you want anything
you take anything.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
I'd take anything.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
Girth Probably you take girth, Oh yeah, I think.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Just not not not chowd girth though, Yeah, yeah, I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
There's a tough question.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
It's a tough question.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I mean, you want a better both, maybe you go link.
Actually you just want something that's just not embarrassing, because
you don't want anything to to shocking. Do You don't
want anything that you're gonna pull out and that's going
to make people run?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Is that what happens there? Well, you get yours out,
people run? Well if they.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Ran, you know, you get it out and the wall
not going when you're there.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
That's going to do damage.
Speaker 8 (18:17):
Oh yeah, what kind of dem is like, yeah, I know,
you know what damage. I shouldn't have asked the question.
That's not a question you should have asked. Okay, yeah,
I'm going to lock a link though.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
You length really just a big long, skinny thing like a.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Like a door snake.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
You're just like a big long thin stick like a
pudding away up up high the firepoke.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
What you want a fire poker?
Speaker 7 (18:46):
You have the fire poker.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Jesus, you don't want a fire poker because no, exactly
what I want.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Don't they call you the fire Poker.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
She's Firefoker. Jump on the fire buger.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Getting canon ladder of strong people that don't even know
and dobles coming over the lawn.
Black Ah.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Yes, Glenn Campbell, Yeah, Glenn Campbell. I think my grandfather
every time I hear this song. The country music fan
Ray Kenny, is he a big fan.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Of Ryan Stone Cowboy?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
He was a big George straight Man near one with
the name.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
George George Sarod. No, I don't think so Jewish, thoroughgood, bad.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
To the bone, to the bomb and Ryan Stone Cowboy.
Whenever I hear that, I think Rodney Road. He's a
well hung playerboy. Actually the Rodney Road take off of that?
You guys familiar with Rodney Rhad's work, No, okay, certainly
Australian content director Pixie Campbell will be aware of it.
(00:53):
Rodney Road loomed large over the music comedy landscape in
the nineteen eighties, still going Rodney Road and Rodney Road.
Kevin Bloody Wilson, Oh yeah, Kevin Bloody Wilson.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I don't know who that is.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
No, you wouldn't know me.
Speaker 5 (01:10):
Rodney Road, no idea, Kevin Bloody Wilson all over it.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
So what's been happening, Joey, What's what's happening in your wield? Mate?
Speaker 5 (01:16):
And my wheelhouse whinning down for the year. I just
got a couple of sky engagements to finish off the year.
But I've actually got a November cricket match this Sunday
on a bitter Man living and the scene of the
crime where I got the yips. Funnily enough a couple
of years ago on the Black Clash back at Hagley Oval,
(01:37):
playing on the Test wicket that the Black Deps just
dropped a thousand catches at. So hopefully them Movember side,
I think Captain by g Lane.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Who see that team? Toddy Estell's in there.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
He's on the better Man Oh so sorry, you're on
the November side.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yeah, the better Man side looks very good. The better
Man side. God, if they got some current first class player,
still still.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
Very very good.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
He's still got it far too good.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Mister crooked himself.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
Yeah, and just takes it far too seriously for my liking.
You know, like comes in, can bowl wrong ands you know,
you name it. He's doing it.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Here's my strategy, read it, okay before we get before
we go on on my strategy to todd Estell, after
watching him play quite a lot actually over the years,
just ho around on the back foot for that, waiting
for the first one because he will drag it down
every league, he drags the first one down.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
That's just what they do.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
So wait, so have around, wait for it, have a
look at it, pick it out of the hand, and
he'll he won't bowler wrong in first ball, he won't
boil wrong, and it'll be either a top of or
a leigie. And then wait for it. Hol around on
the back foot, pull him away, smash him and then
he'll think, me, puts this one up, use your feet
next ball, and then he's in trouble. Immediately you've gone bang, bang,
(02:56):
four to four. He's eight off two and you were
at the and you know he's behind the count basically,
and he's in there.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
He's in a lot of trouble.
Speaker 5 (03:05):
If I'll get a chance against him, that'll be my tech.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
Ye.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
Yeah, have we got in the November eleven Rito, Mike Lane, Ben.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Hurley, Marty Banks, Oh, the legend of Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
Mary Banks went a little bit over on the West
Coast with the cricket a bit. I'm not sure he
always talked a boig game. I think he's more of
a bowler than a bet.
Speaker 7 (03:28):
What is Mary Darren Major?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
What does Marty do there?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
By day?
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Marty is now working for a selling windows and doors. Yes,
salesman as partner.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I'm just partner. Down at the gend and Craft Beer
and Food festival. Apparently Marty was around, but he's a
very popular man down there. On to Tago, I think
the moment he hits the streets, he's very sort of
have to figure.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Michelle Prennible lovely woman, was great. Yeah, but I'm looking
at the better man eleven and they've got Stephen Murdoch.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
You remember Stephen m Stephen murder.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Played first class cricket Ryan.
Speaker 6 (04:02):
Estell, Will Hall, Will Hall, comedian, Yeah, actor. He's playing
for Colin Slade.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Now we're talking very.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Good cricket, is he. Yeah? I played a lot of
age grade cricket against Slado.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Of course he is. He's got everything.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
He's the name that I haven't thought of an actually,
but Colin Slade large over.
Speaker 7 (04:26):
He's like.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
For so Off bar investment banking.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Is he?
Speaker 7 (04:31):
Yeah, crypto and.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
He can do everything. That guy.
Speaker 5 (04:38):
Yeah, he's not the most he wouldn't say. He's an
oil painting name and OK, he's got hasn't got that
on the side.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You can't be you can't be perfect, can you?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
You can't be perfect with me.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Yeah, yeah, Jif Folkson.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
What's he playing on?
Speaker 7 (04:53):
What did you say?
Speaker 5 (04:54):
He's playing playing in the Fox and played cricket for
New Zealand, played ragging for obviously, probably got to play
basketball for freak athletic, good at everything. But he is
making in one department.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yeah he is.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
He's Yeah, he's bored, he's he's unfortunate the universe got him.
Speaker 5 (05:12):
He's got a beautiful golden locks for the golden part
and now nothing. Yeah, he doesn't have that going for him.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I know, thank god, the universe will will get you somewhere.
It has to, and if it doesn't get you, get
your bloody kids.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I thought I didn't know where it had got a
new jery until I saw that photo or that drawing
that you drew of your own downstairs for the for
the pillow that you know you're getting mocked up. How
you having that life size, you know, creation of that
kind of pillow of your downstairs. I thought that you
were a perfect human actually, until I saw that you're
drawing of your down sow.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
What was wrong with the downstairs met a million a
million faults? Well, let's just say it's not a very
big pillow. Yeah, Okay, what I will say is it's
a long pillow.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
It's but it's a very skinny pillow, you know, like
one of those things that you put on the bottom
of the door to stop the draft coming out of me.
That's what I think it might be at drafting drafts. Yeah,
it was long and fat. I thought you had more
tistical than I actually sort of I.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Extended the length a lot, Yeah, because that's what I
banished the length because if I'm being honest, that's what
I thought had happened.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Because I've shared with you in countless times and it's
very like, you know, not like that elf on the
shelf type like that. You know, your tisticles hold up.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Motisticals are good.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Satisticals you've got artisticals are good.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
That's certainly.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
And as you and you'll find this mess isn't only
twenty five years, Joe, you'll be starting to experience this
now you heating into his mid thirties. But your artisticals
just continue to grow nice and they continue to they
and gravity starts to take hold.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
So you know, you can get in.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
My situation, they're starting to really route right down there
that old man's balls thing going on?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
And what is what is the old man's balls.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Hang down low? They hang down low, They wobble to
and fro?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Can you time?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
And not? Can you time? And a bar?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
You probably could now wa'ts the next line in that
song after that?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Because I never understood that you can toss them over
your shoulder like a regimental soldier or.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
What was the regimental soldier tossing over has whipping has whippen,
but like your whaping back to my ball with the shoulder,
just quickly.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Long and skinny.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Because Joey will appreciate the story. My balls, I've had them.
I had my tubes tied straight in there for the
sterilization as quick as I could, quick as I could
get in there, and had two kids. Thought that's enough,
hang out my boots, hang on.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Is this is going to be the Long Barrier story again.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Joey doesn't know the Long Barrier story. Yeah, it's a
great story. And I was called up to play Last
Man's Stands cricket. And it was two days after I'd
had the operation, the the sterilization operation, the what's it
called of a sectomy? Yeah, they go and tie your
churms and cut you out. Went to the vest man.
(08:08):
He's actually called the vest man. He's you know, he's
a cheap option.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Put it that way. He's the budget option.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
How much does it cost for a vest too?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
I think the best man was the best man was.
I think the best man was three fifty or six
fifty one or the two.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
It's called a good price, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Ye're not bad cheaper than a kid. And the best
man did his job, and then I was all red.
I was all blown up down there like black and
blue and went along. Then I got the call up
for the last Man's stands cricket, and they said, look
are you up for playing? And the vast Man had said,
don't do anything strenuous, just take it easy, you know.
(08:45):
Five days after and I was like, oh, I felt fine,
even though I was a bit sore. And then I
thought I play. I'll be okay. I've never been hit
in the nuts, never been hit in the nuts playing cricket,
not once, because I always played the line of the cock,
you know, if the ball is bit of angling, and
I'll make sure.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
That I play the line of my cock, and I
will get hit a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
On the inner thigh every cricket season. I just have
bruises on my own thighs. But I've never been hitting
the box. When along played, scored some runs, didn't get
hit in the box. You know, it was all good,
you know. I was telling the guys and the thing.
Never been hitting them, never been hitting the nuts, So
everything's fine. Then we came to field. I was down
at long on one of the guys. This is the
(09:27):
this is the end of season. It's probably actually March
at the domain. Terrible outfields. I'm at long on someone's hat,
one solidly down to met long on stock standard. Didn't
have to move much, put the long barrier down because
so don't even outfield. And the ball bobbled on me
(09:50):
with about a meter before it was bouncing on its
way down there. And it bobbled and got went over
the top of my hands which were down low, and
got me square right where the vasectomy had happened, like
right where it had happened.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Fucking Lord, fuck me, did I fucking go down.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Jesus, because it was already blowing up and no good.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
I was already bruised.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
It was bruise on bruise because getting hit the nuts
hurts anyway, But this was getting hit on some tender
and because they've tied you up, they've chopped your your
vast difference, and there's a lot of shit going on
in there. It's all meating. It's like a wanton and
a wanton soup down there, and I blow up.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
I reckon.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
My nut was about the size of my first So
I was trying to get out of this.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
I'll tell you because it's still not right.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
As you reach down downstairs there it's the right nut.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
My right nut is an absolute shambles now, a tock
of pounding that day. It took a pounding that day,
and it's never quite it's not it's not come right.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Since does it have a different feel to it now?
Speaker 4 (11:09):
Yeah, it feels like a whole lot of crap.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Just spurling around down and there. Yeah, it's not good.
I think I'll end up with testicular cancer or some
horrific thing, no doubt. But but yeah, so I was.
And I've never blown up or bros like that before.
It was it was horrific. Everyone pissing themselves laughing because
I was right in front of everybody.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
What what is it about that someone gets hit in
the nuts and it's hilarious, is it just because you
know how sore it is, and when it's not you
you get so much joy and seeing someone else killed
up in a ball ship.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Squirmishing, and I think that they're going to be okay
as well, because you've had it yourself, so you know
that you can get you can have a laughing for
five minutes and they'll come back.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Look.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
I was guilty of this through my rugby career a lot,
which was when you're in the line out, sometimes kicking
out with your heel as your as you're jumping with
the lifters and collecting a ball sack of the lifter
the backlifter. The frequency was yeah, uncomfortably yeah sometimes, but
there was always guys that were you know, I was
(12:19):
luckily a natural jumper, so it didn't happen very often.
Maybe once or twice a season to an unsuspecting bloke,
usually when you're going through a new movement pattern Jerry.
But there were guys always in your team that were
just not that confident going up in the year and
would be a fucking noodle in the air.
Speaker 7 (12:38):
Jonathan Path, Shane Christie, just terrible, John Hardy, those boys
kicking blokes in the nuts and every time hilarious like
boys are down and hysterics and the poor old backlifter
walking around like ye holding his nut set.
Speaker 5 (12:56):
In a game.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Though, if you do that, because you can't go.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
Down with you have you got like they just go
down really, you know they'll go, oh is he winded
or whatever? But then the old there'll be a giggle
or whatever because talking berries.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
I can, just I can. The problem is nothing sick.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
Feelings, ye, right in your gut.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Well, when you when you have your when you have
the varseecto me, that's the feeling that you have, you
can actually feel when they tug on it because they
can't you feel that.
Speaker 6 (13:25):
Yeah, yeah, see I'm Jew.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
I'm Jew.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
Maybe I'll get it while I'm up here. Yeah, well
you just booking woman a prayer fifty.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
You're totally invest man investment, the best man you.
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Pass on investment.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
What's his name? I know his name.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
It's not surprised, the long one.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
You don't want to You don't want to go to
surprise belong for your bed. Oh no, no, you'll get
a surprise. You won't know what Jonathan Masters I think
his name is Jonathan Masters is the vest man eight
hundred vast Man.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
The same every time has number plate.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
As vast Man.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yeah is it actually yeah has number plates veast Man.
So the vast Man, he injects your nuts and then
he cuts you. Cuts cuts a little hole like it
cuts the line of the scalpel down.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Your nuts and then.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Fetches out your tube. That's the bit that's not good.
And you tugging up in your guts because it's connected
up to here where your semen is, because your seamen's
produced up up higher and so you feel I'm pulling
away and like that's the bit that's weird.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
The rest of it.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
When they say it's just a bit uncomfortable, that's the
best way to describe it. It's not painful.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
It's just a lazer the laser option, and they laser it.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Know what they do is they pull it out, they
cut it.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
They laser the ends. You can smell your vest so
they still got to cut you.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
I thought it was an invasive option.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
No, they chop it, laser each end, quarterize it and
then they tie the tube together.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
They tie those.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Two things together so you nuts stay in your sack.
And they do that on both sides, and so that's
what it takes about fifteen minutes maybe.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
And then you're just blowing smoke for the rest of
your life.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Yeah, so we're good.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
No, you're blowing no you Yeah, you're still the same.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
You wouldn't know, but.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Yeah, did you find your performance shut up post.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Or yeah, improved. But it took me quite a long
time to get rid of all of the swimmers out
of there. Yeah, it took me, Like I kept going
back and kept testing and they keep going. Now you've
still got more swimmers and then come on, get out
of there swimmings.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Yeez.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Yeah, but I reckon it took six months. You've got
to be kif a lot of people have babies in
the first and the and the six months following the second.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yeah, okay, well, because there's just a build up of
still lives.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Still in there, yet still in there?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
How many wents I think they say something like twenty,
they say something like thirty ejaculations or something.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
It took me bloody on time, been a couple of years.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Or a weekend in the Sudima.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
That's a good way to tackle it.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
That's a good way to tackle it.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Ec Yeah, well it took me a while after hitting
the nuts, after the bloody operation.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
I wasn't going near there for bloody weeks.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
And you're black and blue, black and blue, like massive,
massive black and hornia.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
When I was young and similar sort of area right,
and got it operated on. I think it was eighteen
and geez, my whole downstairs operation full black and blue.
And I remember showing the boys and one of my
mates the res, the res has got a cocktail sausage,
(16:52):
real small, little he doesn't mind getting it out, yea,
and he goes, it's about time that that that that
thing of yours had the had the same coloring. That okay, right,
but quite quite disconcerning when you look down there, you know,
for what and you're just a black downstairs?
Speaker 4 (17:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Oh yeah, total, yeah, yeah, I was. The The meat
was fine, but it was the viach.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
No, the veach was fine. It was the meat. What's
the meat? What's the veg? Meat? And too bitch, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
The meat was the meat was okay, It was the
veach that just looked like, would.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
You rather or link? Well?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I think you probably, I mean, I mean, when you've
got neither, you probably you just want you want anything
you take anything.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
I'd take anything.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
Girth Probably you take girth, Oh yeah, I think.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Just not not not chowd girth though, Yeah, yeah, I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
There's a tough question.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
It's a tough question.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I mean, you want a better both, maybe you go link.
Actually you just want something that's just not embarrassing, because
you don't want anything to to shocking. Do You don't
want anything that you're gonna pull out and that's going
to make people run?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Is that what happens there? Well, you get yours out,
people run? Well if they.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Ran, you know, you get it out and the wall
not going when you're there.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
That's going to do damage.
Speaker 8 (18:17):
Oh yeah, what kind of dem is like, yeah, I know,
you know what damage. I shouldn't have asked the question.
That's not a question you should have asked. Okay, yeah,
I'm going to lock a link though.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
You length really just a big long, skinny thing like a.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Like a door snake.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
You're just like a big long thin stick like a
pudding away up up high the firepoke.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
What you want a fire poker?
Speaker 7 (18:46):
You have the fire poker.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Jesus, you don't want a fire poker because no, exactly
what I want.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Don't they call you the fire Poker.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
She's Firefoker. Jump on the fire buger.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Getting canon ladder of strong people that don't even know
and dobles coming over the lawn.
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