Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Do the cats ever get in theleg? I feel like probably over the
years one has had to have beenshoved off of bed. No lobby is
way territorial? No, no,no, Well there there was a whole
write up about by the way,do you know how many couples end up
in not not solely because of liketherapy or couple's therapy, but it comes
(00:24):
to light in couples therapy about howmuch the pets, dogs, cats.
I really can't think of another animal, but dogs or cats interrupting sex time
has really wedged their marriage. Ibet it's more than just the boudoir where
(00:45):
the head is causing a problem thewell, where else would it be I'm
talking about from a sex front.Oh, but to go to therapy,
there may be like issues with attentionbeing paid more to a pet versus a
It does come up. What Iwas saying is they end up in therapy
and they talk about, well,intimacy levels have gone down and there's problems
(01:07):
and we're not as happy. Buta lot of it will get blamed on
well, we've got the dog,and the dog sleeps in the bed.
And so yesterday there was this wholething about what you're supposed to do in
order to alleviate that. Well,is it like what he said, like
with baby gates or you know what? A lot of people do that.
Yeah, a lot of people willbabygate either like the But then they said,
(01:30):
it depends on where where you're babygating. Some people will put a baby
gate in the like to kind oflike make a little square and put the
dog in it. But then thedog just sits there and winds and stairs
and say like, if you putit in the doorway to the bedroom,
then he just puts his little headon top of it and wind. Well,
you do get the whining and thatbothers some people as well. But
(01:51):
when it's come up in the past, I feel like, yes, the
dog may want to know what's goingon, but it's the confusion and the
sounds that scare pets. Oh,dogs don't know that their sex going on.
They don't look at it and goit's not like I see two dogs
and go yeah. They don't seetwo humans and go yeah, no they
(02:16):
don't. That's that's not the case. But they said a lot of times
it's very protective. It's protective oftwo things, the owner and the bed.
Oh if they feel like that's theirspot, that's their spot, and
all of a sudden, what's goingon in here? This isn't like we
(02:36):
normally just lay down. I don'tknow what's going on here. That's not
supposed to be the case. Now, listen, they said, there's some
people that are just fine where youknow, the dog's laying right there and
the dog's not doing anything, andthey'll get after it and hammer one home
and the dog doesn't care. Theydon't care, and everything's everything's good,
and everything's fine. Well, theleast you could do if your dog is
(02:58):
that understanding is hit the dog atowelp Come on, No, there's plenty
of people that'll just have sex whilethe dog's in the bed. There's nothing
wrong with that. While the dog'sin the bed. Yeah, dogs or
cats. You said they were layingnext to the bed. No no,
no, no, no, nolaying on the bed. Oh yeah,
(03:19):
no, laying next to you.Oh. There's plenty of people that are
fine with that. Plenty of peoplethat are fine with that. Now,
there's plenty of people that would kindof like Diane, kind of give a
shove, dog goes off the bed. But then you still have the you
still have the problem of the whiningand the separation anxiety. Not anxiety,
but just the separation. It'd belike, that's my spot. Are dogs
(03:45):
or cats worse? They do?They take a stance on them. Dogs
are definitely noisier. You know what, I don't know. I would imagine
cats are worse. Like cats areup and on you. Not necessarily.
They usually get the point the yeahwhen you shove them. Right, But
you said that one sleeps on yourhead. Right, So if Scott's getting
(04:09):
amorous, no, he would notstay there during that. Well he again,
So you just tell him, excuseme, we're getting amorous, Bobby.
And then the cat knows to go? No, I feel no,
you will, you will? Youwill? You run one out while the
cat's in the bed. No,why no, you know it's not the
cat doesn't know. No, Butyou're embarrassed because the cat's there. I
(04:34):
just wouldn't do that, Like you'regetting judged. No, I wouldn't do
that. You're not judging me.No, definitely, I see them.
I see them raise their legs anddo some cleaning. Oh, so the
presence to you is not the mosthygienic being. Oh who cares? About
that. No, I just wouldn'tdo that. He's a not accusing you,
(05:00):
Diana being Danny Manatucci. Oh yeah, no no, no, no,
no, no, no no.But if the dog's at the foot
of the bed or even on theside of the like like linga on the
bed, but off to the side, I don't care, and there's eye
contact. I'm not talking to thedog because now we're talking about masturbation.
Correct, No, we're talking aboutsex. You said, well, you
(05:20):
said ron, but you said it'sa talking no no no no no no
no no no no no no.But I'm glad you said that. No,
I meant like you and Scott runone home the No no, these
phrases, I don't know. Well, I just don't want to keep saying
like having sex, like stealing.No no no. But they did say
something that you have to be verycareful of with cats versus dogs. This
(05:43):
is a separating point, meaning whatvibrators. No, cats think it's a
toy. Yeah no, because likelike dogs don't have like electric toys or
most of them don't. Cats do. And so they said you got to
be very careful with a toy arounda cat because like you turn it on
and that that rabbit head's going aroundand around and around, and the cat
(06:03):
and the cattle think it's a toy. And the next thing, you know,
not paying attention and I'm swatting atit. So it's the it's the
visual not the sound of the bothtoy oh both. Yeah. No,
they can hear it, and they'retrained. They hear it. They think
it's a toy. They come,they'll come running from anywhere in the house.
(06:23):
You could get hurt then, yeah, oh, especially if it's not
the claude. No, yeah,yeah, great, thing looked like wolverine
took me. Oh my god.So yeah, that's one place where they
point out cats are worse as ifyou're using a toy. And I guess
(06:44):
that's not just for masturbation. IfI was using a toy on Jackie the
cat. I don't have cats,but the cat could come running up and
just start swatting at that thing.So just to now, because there was
some confusion, Yes, you willmasturbate with a dog in the bed or
you Oh yes, okay, reallyyeah, I'll have sex while the dogs
(07:05):
in the bed. Why would Imasturbate while the dogs in the bed.
I almost can wrap my head aroundthat more. It's the soloest with the
dog in the pit. Well,it's not like I'm looking at the dog
going hold on. No, likethe dog's laying on one side of the
bed, I'm laying on the other. It's just it's it can be difficult
(07:26):
to make time for intimacy with apartner. So if if you're fighting the
clock, if you've got kids,if you do have a pet that maybe
seems like they're going to be quietfor a couple of minutes, you take
advantage of it, right, Butwhen you're by yourself, you can pick
and shoose more often when things happen. I just feel like if that dog,
(07:53):
if that dog or cat is thereat that time, you may be
able to get past your favorite saying. I don't know, like once I'm
I'm engaged, I'm not letting clancythrow me off. And I keep thinking
of his eye contact now and it'sweird, gonna be out. Why does
the eye contact bother you? Becauseeye contact with especially a dog, is
(08:13):
like a big deal all the timeabout who breaks first, Oh yeah,
don't stare, don't yeah, thewhole thing. Yeah, So in that
moment when you're pretty vulnerable. Igenerally break that eye contact when my eyes
roll up a little bit. Wellthat's my whole face. But that's why
(08:37):
they said that you have to bevery very oh you know, you know
the other thing they said that youshould do. I thought this was interesting.
No, no, no, Ithought this was interesting. They talk
to a couple of people who havewho struggle with this. Some people said
they they I don't want to saystrictly, but the majority of the time
they just use the shower. Ohokay, so they locked the bathroom door.
(09:03):
Or is the dog just not inthe shower with the dogs just not
in the shower. The dog isstill in the bathroom. Why is that
a problem. Just there are nowmultiple barriers that you could set up to
keep that animal out of what you'redoing. That's the door, and I
got to listen to barking and clawingat the door. Oh, it's licking
the glass. It thinks it's onthat the moistures on that side of the
(09:26):
shower. I don't care. That'sweird. That wouldn't distract you. I'm
I'm able to focus on that allright. Um, once the eye comes
back now then no, no,stop having sex. When you go to
(09:48):
bed at night. Do it duringthe day. Oh, and they're more
likely to alone. Well no,but it's it throws the dog off.
Now Aaron and Barlow did chime in, Oh, here we go. I
got bit on the butt. Well, my former dog busted in the room
quietly and licked the guy's butt cheek. Yeah, no, that's a problem.
(10:15):
Who did I know? Who didwe know? Didn't we know somebody
who got attacked? Like had starteddating some chick who had a dog and
went to their Like the first nightthey stayed over and were having sex,
the dog, protecting its owner,went after them. Wasn't that somebody we
knew? I mean that happens familiar, and I totally understand that. Like
(10:39):
you said, you started this bysaying the very protective of two things,
the bed and the body fighting.They think on your behalf. Absolutely they
don't know or just exploring hello.But that's why you have to Like you
could have a dog bad, butyou have to train them to get on
the dog bed, Like I coulddo that, Like if I want to,
(11:01):
I can. They have a commandand they know that command means they
get on their dog beds and they'llstay there. Yeah, no, matter
what's happening in the human's bed untilthey hear the word free. Yes,
wow, Yeah, they have tostay there. So you specifically have trained
them for sex. No, butthat works for if somebody knocks on the
door, rings the doorbell, likethe pizza guy, instead of charging the
(11:24):
door, they get their command.They get on the dog bed and they're
not allowed to get off it untilfree. Now, if they break that,
then you have to kind of resetthem up. But yeah, they
know not to. They can't getoff the dogbed until free. Well,
if my exterminator is listening, youknow that's not the case at our house
the other day. So after Jackieand I wrap up a sash, I
(11:48):
always like to finish up with ayell of free and let the dogs come
a running. And that's like Hi, Yelliet the morning, right, Yeah,
Hi, who's that? Hey?It's uh Matt from Petersburg. Yes,
sir, all right, I justwanted you were talking earlier about how
(12:13):
you couldn't think of any other animalsthat would be in the bed with you,
a cat or a dog. Well, uh, we got a little
homestead back home, and uh we'vemy old lady and I we've done it
with the goats in the bed before. Okay, that seems awkward, the
yeah, like are I don't Idon't know. I don't even know what
(12:33):
they would be like as animals,Like are they are they like curious and
protective or are they just kind oflay there? I mean they just kind
of lay there, but they doget carried sometimes. Uh, goats are
pretty much like dogs. I mean, they're just little Nigerian dwarfs. Like
even ore, they were just thenewest ones we had. There were some
(12:54):
babies pretty much and they were offthe hit already and everything, but they
were, you know, smaller,so they're not like taking up a lot
of space. And it is akingsize bed, so it's like, you
know, there's some room there,but I mean, they pretty much just
laid there and we're really because there'sthere's two of them, and they were
just a nonchalant about it. Didn'treally care. They're not very protective or
anything or territorial, but you dowhat you gotta do, Lea. I
(13:24):
just thought you'd appreciate that, OhI do. I do, believe me.
All right, very good, Thankyou, my friend, Thank you
Line for hi Elliott in the morning, Hi Elliott sat up from Alexandria.
Yes, sir, Hey. Sowhen I was dating my wife had a
real small place in old Town,and my cat would get upset and and
(13:46):
I closed the bedroom door and he'dhurl himself onto and slam into the door,
like violently. So I have toset up a like an ironing board.
It's the only thing I had.I'd have to set up a barricade.
Later on in life, when wemy wife and I started making people,
we were in a bigger place afterour sash. He'd show up and
(14:09):
we will call it a post Coquitz. All right, very good, very
good, Thank you. Don't youwish the animal was like smart enough to
be able to pick up on thevibe and be like, be cool,
no, no, I'll be back. Is the vibe? No no no,
But be like, I see what'sgoing on here, I'll go you
(14:30):
know what, I'll go to thecouch for five minutes. I'll be back.
It's cool. But they can't.They don't know, they don't understand.
They talked to one guy who hada studio apartment that means no doors,
nothing, He had to build.But instead of having a like a
like a kennel or like a babygate. Yeah, he would have to
put the baby gate up around thebed. There wasn't root. Yeah,
(14:52):
there wasn't room to build a babygate to put the dog in. He
had to build it around the bedso the dog couldn't get on the bed.
That's a pain in the ass.I didn't even think of a studio.
Oh, you're screwed, You're screwed. I never lived in a studio,
did you, Yeah, I hada studio. Did you have a
strategy? I didn't have a pet. Oh nice, strive strategy. He
(15:15):
didn't have a girlfriend. Yeah,no, I didn't have a pet at
the time, So that wasn't athat wasn't a problem. Did you ever
live in a studio? Did not? Bougie